TG Ch 8 Part 7

Just then, he heard a familiar voice.

“You drink cold brew too?”

Sijin was startled and looked up. Jeong Taeyul had approached him unnoticed and was now standing two steps away. He’d been so quiet as an escort that Sijin had forgotten he was there.

Jeong Taeyul must have heard his conversation with Ham Geonwu. Embarrassed, Sijin clutched the bag in his arms and said awkwardly, “Uh… yeah. I drink it sometimes.”

Jeong Taeyul glanced at the white convenience store bag in Sijin’s hand. The outline of a sweet coffee drink was visible. He chuckled in disbelief and said, “And yet you only bought sweet drinks.”

“Sometimes these are nice too.”

At his reply, Jeong Taeyul frowned.

“Is everything okay as long as Ham Geonwu gives it to you?”

“…Why are you picking on me again…”

Sijin retorted timidly. It felt like it had been a while since Jeong Taeyul had teased him like this. He wasn’t scared of him anymore, but he was still intimidating and somewhat of a delinquent. To think he would tease him about something like this…

Then, Sijin noticed something Jeong Taeyul was holding casually in his hand.

‘Coffee?’

It was the cafe drink he’d been looking for. Jeong Taeyul always drank iced drinks, so the paper cup couldn’t be his.

“Do you drink warm coffee too?”

Sijin asked with a smile. He felt a little embarrassed showing his expectant look, but he couldn’t help but feel hopeful.

Jeong Taeyul sat down on a nearby bench and said, “Someone always drinks coffee when they work late, so I bought some.”

Jeong Taeyul placed the coffee cup on the seat next to him like bait. Then, with his handsome face, he gestured towards the cup. Sijin, watching him, fell for it completely, took the cup, and sat down on the bench.

“Thank you. I really wanted to drink this…”

Sijin thanked him and carefully took a sip. It was a sweet vanilla latte. It had cooled down a bit, but it was still warm, and a smile spread across his face. In moments like these, Sijin thought that Jeong Taeyul wasn’t just a grumpy person.

Seeing this, Jeong Taeyul asked with his characteristic bright smile, “Do you like everything as long as it’s food?”

“It’s the thought that counts.”

Sijin nodded, smiling happily. Jeong Taeyul chuckled, stroking his chin.

The early summer evening breeze was cool. The two men sitting on the bench quietly felt each other’s presence. The center, lit by streetlights, was beautiful and tranquil, and occasionally ability users out for exercise or center guards would pass by. It was an ability center where dangerous missions were carried out, but at this moment, it felt like only peace resided here.

‘Is it this peaceful because Jeong Taeyul is here…’

Sijin thought it was ironic. Even though Jeong Taeyul could be intimidating, seeing him like this, taking care of him, easily melted away those feelings. These emotional fluctuations were a rare experience that couldn’t be measured even by the examination devices Sijin constantly monitored.

Recalling that, Sijin finally spoke. There was a question he couldn’t postpone any longer.

“…You know, Jeong Taeyul.”

Sijin briefly recalled his first kiss with Jeong Taeyul. It was the day he felt the warmth of his lips against his, the day he saw unbelievable test results. Although he had fainted at the end, Sijin wanted to ask him about their relationship.

And what Sijin was most curious about were his feelings towards him.

“Yes.”

“About… that time, in the examination room…”

“……”

However, Jeong Taeyul seemed to have anticipated Sijin’s question. With a bitter frown, he looked down at his hands on his lap. The atmosphere wasn’t conducive to casual conversation.

Jeong Taeyul finally spoke.

“I was actually going to talk about that.”

“Ah… okay.”

Jeong Taeyul spoke while looking at the silver Zippo lighter in his hand. His expression was somber, as if he were lost in bitter thoughts.

‘Why does he look so serious…? Did something happen?’

Sijin’s excitement gradually faded.

What was he thinking? Sijin didn’t think he had ever seen him so contemplative.

“Doctor Baek.”

“Yes.”

“Aren’t you usually afraid of ability users?”

“…Yes?”

Confusion clouded Sijin’s face. He turned to look at Jeong Taeyul’s profile, a mixture of sharpness and languidness in his features.

Why was he suddenly asking this? Sijin answered, bewildered, “Of course I’m not afraid. I’m an examiner…”

Jeong Taeyul sighed silently at his reply. Then, running a hand through his hair, he became lost in thought.

Even while looking at his sculpted profile, Sijin couldn’t help but feel tense. His answer had seemed perfectly reasonable, yet Jeong Taeyul seemed to take it seriously.

‘…Does he think I’m being self-sacrificing?’

Sijin recalled what he’d said before. That he shouldn’t be self-sacrificing towards ability users. He could understand worrying about that, or feeling a natural sense of responsibility as a human being. But Jeong Taeyul seemed to be sensing danger in Sijin’s nonchalant attitude towards the fainting incident.

Finally, Jeong Taeyul removed his hand from his hair and spoke with a newfound resolve, “About the experiment we did last time…”

“Yes.”

“I’d prefer if we didn’t do it anymore.”

“…What? Why?”

Sijin asked, a hint of urgency in his eyes. Disappointment clouded his expression, as if he’d lost an opportunity.

“It wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t been unwell…”

He muttered in a voice tinged with hollowness. Sijin agreed with that. If Jeong Taeyul hadn’t been unwell, there wouldn’t have been an opportunity for a kiss like that between them.

Now, Jeong Taeyul brought reality into the conversation.

“What if you had actually been hurt that time?”

“……”

“What if it hadn’t ended with just fainting?”

“…Still, the important thing is that you weren’t hurt.”

Sijin replied belatedly. His voice was feeble, like someone who had been rejected.

But Sijin also knew. Even if Jeong Taeyul’s wave control was S-rank, the experiments they had attempted that day were potentially fatal for him, an ordinary person.

Sijin understood his feelings, but he didn’t want to dismiss the feelings that had built up between them for such a foolish reason as danger.

“Guide Jeong Taeyul. Is that… really the reason?”

“……”

“Can’t you be honest with me, just once?”

Jeong Taeyul’s eyes wavered for a moment. He swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing, as if struggling to speak. It was a rare display of vulnerability. Seeing that expression, Sijin couldn’t give up on hearing his answer.

Finally, Jeong Taeyul took a deep breath. His gaze at the silver Zippo lighter was somber, as if he were disgusted with himself.

“…You won’t be able to handle me.”

“……”

Sijin slowly closed his mouth at those words. His expression was calm, but he couldn’t hide the bitter feeling.

He understood Jeong Taeyul’s perspective. He was an F-rank ordinary person; he couldn’t handle Jeong Taeyul’s guiding. And no one would want to hurt an innocent person with their abilities. Moreover, he was Jeong Taeyul’s assigned protection target.

And perhaps there was a reason he couldn’t reveal regarding the strange phenomenon. Sijin realized he had to respect his decision and step back, at least for now.

Unable to look at him, Sijin spoke in a low voice, “…Okay. But I’d like you to continue giving me feedback on your condition.”

“…Okay.”

Pushing someone who felt burdened, whether emotionally or therapeutically, would only backfire. Instead, Sijin left a small opening.

“Still, I want to tell you that you don’t have to feel burdened around me. I’m… a diagnostic examiner.”

It was strange. At this moment, Sijin hated calling himself a ‘diagnostic examiner’ more than anything.

What kind of presence did he want to be for him? No matter how much he thought about it, he didn’t want to be just a diagnostic examiner.

“Anytime is fine, so please come to me if you need to talk.”

But as an ordinary person, this position was the best he could do. Sijin bit his lip.

“Then… I’ll head back to the examination room.”

Sijin adjusted his grip on the brown bag and stood up. His eyes trembled slightly, and a melancholic expression settled on his face.

‘This wasn’t the conversation I wanted to have…’

He felt foolish for hoping for something more emotional with Jeong Taeyul. He had already drawn a line between them…

Then, he heard a voice behind him, like an auditory hallucination.

“…Hyung.”

Sijin’s heavy steps stopped abruptly.

Was it his imagination? He thought he had heard someone calling him.

Sijin, standing there in confusion, slowly turned around. But there was still only Jeong Taeyul. He was sitting casually on the bench, just staring at Sijin. His subsequent question, in his usual delinquent tone, was also the same as always.

“What.”

“Did you… call me?”

Jeong Taeyul smiled faintly. His gaze wavered slightly before returning to Sijin, asking as if nothing had happened, “What is it?”

“I thought you called me ‘hyung’…”

Was it his imagination after all? Even when Sijin asked hesitantly, Jeong Taeyul didn’t answer.

An early summer breeze blew from somewhere. Jeong Taeyul’s brown hair fluttered slightly in the wind. After a moment of silence, he avoided Sijin’s gaze. Then, spinning the Zippo lighter in his hand, he said, “It’s late, so go inside.”

“……”

At those words, Sijin turned around with a heavy heart.

He felt a distance had formed between him and Jeong Taeyul again. He felt disappointed, but he couldn’t impose himself on someone who had drawn a line.

‘Was it just this insignificant to Jeong Taeyul…’

Sijin thought, looking at the coffee cup in his hand. The consideration towards him, the look in his eyes, the warmth he felt on his lips. It all felt fleeting. Sijin stared at the coffee cup, then clutched it tightly and entered the examination room.

But the line Jeong Taeyul had drawn was broken just a day later.