BL Ch146

Behind the closed door, ragged breaths mingled.

Yu Duqiu pressed close, hip to hip, leaving no room for escape.

Bai Zhao had no intention of escaping. Slightly breathless from the kiss, he pinched Yu Duqiu’s waist, pulling back as he heard a muffled groan. “Is this your apology, Young Master?”

Yu Duqiu leaned against him, dropping the drunken act, grinning shamelessly. “Yes, do you like it?”

“I do, but it wasn’t necessary.” Bai Zhao stroked his hair. “I don’t mind what happened that day anymore.”

Still pretending. He clearly minded a lot; he didn’t even want to mention it in the garden.

“I was drunk that time, I didn’t mean to… but you were also at fault.” Yu Duqiu countered, a hint of guilt in his voice. “You knew I was talking nonsense when drunk; you should have tried again after I sobered up. Once wasn’t enough? Try twice, I would have remembered you eventually.”

Bai Zhao shook his head. “I thought about it later, but I was consumed by hatred back then, and you hadn’t escaped the shadows of your past, living in a daze, as your attitude towards me clearly showed. Even if you had remembered me, our nightmares wouldn’t have disappeared.”

“But now that everything is resolved, you still didn’t tell me.” Yu Duqiu grumbled. “You were willing to fake your death to make me feel guilty, but you couldn’t bring yourself to tell me about this?”

“Because that was fake; I was confident I could come back. But this is real, an irreversible fact.” Bai Zhao paused. “I admit, faking my death was partly out of revenge… just a little, about one percent. Your confession that time was enough. I forgave you, and I got my revenge.”

Yu Duqiu was still dissatisfied. “Did you ever consider that something could have gone wrong, and you might have actually died? If you had revealed your identity from the beginning, we could have worked together more effectively.”

Bai Zhao was silent for a moment, then sighed softly. “Those were just excuses. The main reason… was that I didn’t want you to accept me out of pity or nostalgia.”

“I wanted your feelings for me to be pure, not because of our past connection, not because of my waiting and endurance.”

“If I had told you from the start, with your soft heart, you would have treated me well, but that’s not what I wanted. I’m not the child I was back then. I want you to love me for who I am now.”

“The process was harder than I imagined. You’re not the same person you were back then either. You were truly awful to me, especially at the beginning.” Bai Zhao pinched his waist lightly, as if scolding him. “I both loved and hated you back then. Several times I almost took a shortcut, imagining the guilt on your face when you learned the truth… but I held back.”

“It wasn’t until that day at the racecourse, when I heard Lao Zhou and the others mention the names of your dogs, that I knew you hadn’t completely forgotten. You have no idea how happy I was.”

Yu Duqiu thought back and remembered. No wonder this guy’s attitude had done a complete 180 that night, wearing the boutonniere, standing beneath his window, whispering those sweet words.

After years of being treated coldly, he wagged his tail at the slightest hint of affection. How… foolish.

“I knew it. How could a single kiss have such a lasting impact, making you obsessed for so long? You were lying to me.” Yu Duqiu nudged his nose against Bai Zhao’s. “That night in Charlotte… was that your first kiss? No wonder you were so nervous.”

A kiss that the little madman had risked his life for. Now, looking back, how desperate he had been.

“I wouldn’t have admitted it then, afraid you’d laugh at me.” Bai Zhao’s eyes darkened. “Now I would. Want to try?”

“Now it’s not just ‘would,’ it’s ‘definitely.'” Yu Duqiu’s fingers traced his lips. “You lied to me for so long; it’ll take many kisses to make up for it.”

Bai Zhao chuckled deeply. “As you wish, Your Majesty.”

“What Majesty…” Yu Duqiu closed his eyes, leaning in. 

“Right now, I just want to be a foolish king.”