BL Ch74

“Knock, knock.”

Ji Lin cleared his throat, standing in front of the reception room door, calling inside, “Chief Peng, I’m here.”

From inside came Peng Deyu’s robust response, “Oh, wait a moment, I’ll open the door.”

Ji Lin’s anxious fingers clutched at the corner of his uniform, taking a deep breath, patting his freshly shaven face, and as the door opened, he let go of his grip and exhaled, squeezing out a bright, refreshing smile.

Peng Deyu, upon opening the door, was startled by his smile, looking as if he had seen a ghost, “What are you smiling about?”

Ji Lin was puzzled, “Can’t I smile?”

“Not that, it’s just been a while since I’ve seen you smile, suddenly doing it like this is kind of creepy…” Peng Deyu mumbled, stepping aside to let him in, simultaneously introducing him to the guests inside, “This is Officer Ji.”

On the sofa in the reception room sat a man and a woman, both around forty to fifty years old, dressed elegantly, their features somewhat familiar.

Ji Lin felt momentarily dazed, suppressing the sourness welling up in his heart, and called out, “Uncle, Auntie, hello.”

Upon seeing him, the couple stood up immediately, warmly coming forward to shake his hand. Mu Hao’s father, Mu Changfeng, heartily said, “Officer Ji, we’ve heard your name often, finally meeting you today.”

Ji Lin was flattered, “You’ve heard of me?”

Mu Hao’s mother, Meng Lan, also kindly took his other hand and said, “Yes, Officer Feng from the city bureau came to visit us several times before, always talking about you, saying how much effort you put into Hao’s case, even risking your life. My husband and I thought we should come to thank you in person.”

Ji Lin was even more astonished, “Captain Feng actually praised me… I thought he looked down on me…”

Peng Deyu patted his shoulder, “Old Feng is harsh on the outside but not bad at heart. He notices those who work hard.”

“But he knows about me…” Ji Lin bit his lip in time to stop the secret from spilling out, “…please thank him for his tolerance on my behalf.”

“You should thank him yourself, have some backbone, don’t get emotional over such a small thing.” Peng Deyu vigorously ruffled his hair, “I still have work to do, excuse me for a moment. Take your time chatting, come find me if you need anything.”

“Oh, oh, take your time, we’ve taken up too much of your time.” The Mu couple politely saw Peng Deyu out, closing the door, and then sat down with Ji Lin, pulling out a bulging red envelope from their bag, “Officer Ji, please accept this.”

Ji Lin was still fixing his disheveled hair when he saw this, immediately backing away, waving his hands, “No need, please don’t be so formal, it’s too much. Investigating the case is part of my job.”

“We’ve heard from Officer Feng.” Meng Lan had a gentle expression, her delicate makeup couldn’t hide the fatigue and sorrow in her demeanor, “You and Hao were university classmates; he helped you, and you’ve always been grateful. That’s why you’ve been running around for his case, right? For a kind-hearted, diligent young man like you, how could we let you work for free without any compensation? It would trouble our conscience.”

Mu Changfeng also said, “You risked your life to investigate the case; when we heard about it, we were deeply moved. We can’t let a good policeman like you suffer. We can’t help with the investigation, but after much thought, we can only offer some financial support. Just consider this as our donation for the case expenses.”

Ji Lin shook his head in refusal, “Any other officer would do the same, and I’m not the only one working on the case; everyone is helping. If you insist on giving something, then how about donating a few banners to our bureau? It could make the news, bring honor to the bureau, and I could bask in that glory.”

The Mu couple discussed it briefly and agreed to this suggestion, putting away the thick red envelope for now, saying, “Alright, we’ll do as you suggest. Xiao Ji, come sit closer.”

This intimate address also brought them a bit closer.

The couple ran a business, not wealthy but well-off, with a son who was exemplary in academics, handsome, and capable, who had a smooth career path after graduation, never causing them any worry.

It was supposed to be an enviable family, but it shattered in that rainy night.

Losing a child in old age, the white-haired burying the black-haired, is always the heaviest blow for parents. Even almost a year later, seeing Ji Lin, who wore a similar uniform and was of similar age to their son, the couple couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed with sadness, their eyes reddening after just a few words.

Ji Lin quickly handed over some tissues, clumsily comforting, “Uncle, Auntie, it’s all in the past now.”

Meng Lan wiped her tears, forcing a smile, “I’m sorry for showing you this, I’m just too sentimental, I can cry over a TV show, Hao used to tease me for crying all the time.”

Ji Lin was momentarily stunned, lowering his eyes to hide his emotions, pulling at the corners of his mouth, “He used to say the same about me; I used to cry every time the coach scolded me during training.”

Hearing this, Mu Changfeng suddenly recalled something, pointing at him, “So, Hao was talking about you?”

Ji Lin looked up abruptly, asking blankly, “He… mentioned me?”

“Yes, when he was in university, he told us about a classmate who couldn’t keep up physically, always the last during training and crying when scolded by the coach.”

“That was me.” Ji Lin gave a silly laugh, “Mu Ge saw how pitiful I was, kindly trained with me, and later I caught up in fitness, no longer getting scolded by the coach, all thanks to him.”

Mu Changfeng sighed, “Time flies.”

“Yeah, we hardly kept in touch after graduation…” The light in Ji Lin’s eyes dimmed bit by bit, “The last time we had dinner was on graduation night. After that, he was so busy with work, never had time when I tried to arrange a meetup. Unknowingly, six years had passed, who would’ve thought that was the last time…”

Realizing his words were inappropriate, he quickly apologized, “I’m sorry, uncle, auntie, I didn’t mean to…”

Meng Lan patted the back of his hand to comfort him, “It’s okay. Come to our house for dinner in the future, I’ll cook for you, just think of it as keeping us company.”

Ji Lin was both surprised and delighted, “Really? Won’t I be intruding?”

“What intrusion? Since Hao passed away, our home has been so empty. If you come often, it would make us happy, we’re just afraid of troubling you.”

“No trouble at all, how could it be trouble.” Ji Lin felt his nose sting, just about to agree when the reception room door was knocked on again.

“Captain Ji, are you in there? Haven’t got so nervous you can’t walk, have you? Then open the door for me.”

“…”

This arrogant and sarcastic tone could only belong to a certain young master.

Ji Lin ground his back teeth, giving an apologetic smile, “I’ll go send him away.”

Mu Changfeng raised his hand to stop him, “Is that Duqiu’s voice? Let him in.”

Meng Lan smiled, “Duqiu came too? What a coincidence, we were planning to visit him later; it’s been a while since we’ve seen him.”

Hearing this from the couple, Ji Lin reluctantly went to open the door for the bothersome young master Yu, giving him a scowl, “What do you want?”

Yu Duqiu was wearing all white today, matching his hair color, but with a bouquet of white roses in his hand, the color was overly bright, like a gigantic 10,000-watt light bulb, impossible to ignore.

Ji Lin looked him up and down with disdain, “I didn’t know you were getting married today?”

Yu Duqiu chuckled, “Haven’t heard your sarcasm in a while, seems like you’re in a good mood today.”

Delighted by someone’s mockery, the person must have something wrong with their brain.

Ji Lin didn’t bother with him, turning back to smile at Mu Hao’s parents, “He brought flowers for you, they’re very beautiful.”

“No, I brought them for Mu Hao.” Yu Duqiu shook the bouquet of pristine, blooming white roses in his hand, “Uncle and Auntie, shall we go see him together? The cemetery isn’t far from here; I’ve never been and have always wanted to go.”

Ji Lin’s expression changed slightly, his voice quickly sinking, whispering a rebuke, “What’s the point of going there? Don’t bring up what shouldn’t be mentioned.”

Yu Duqiu didn’t shy away, raising his voice, “What’s the problem? Uncle and Auntie won’t mind, right?”

The Mu couple gave a helpless, bitter smile, “Duqiu is just like this, Xiao Ji, it’s okay. Let’s go; Hao would probably like to see his two friends.”

Ji Lin clenched his fists, looking at the elderly couple, then at the composed Yu Duqiu, and finally slowly unclenched his fingers, nodding heavily and slowly, “…Fine.”

The cemetery was about an hour’s drive from the Xinjin Sub-bureau. Yu Duqiu’s two cars drove leisurely, arriving around four in the afternoon when the sun wasn’t as harsh, the light was still bright, at the warmest time of the day.

The cemetery was located on a flat, open piece of land in the suburbs, serene and elegant. It wasn’t peak season for visiting graves, so the place was nearly deserted, with neat, quiet tombstones standing orderly. The only signs of life were the evergreen plants swaying in the breeze and a few birds perched in the trees.

Everything was so peaceful, yet the people resting there could never feel it.

“Hao is still officially missing, so he can’t be in the Martyrs’ Cemetery; he has to be in the public cemetery,” the Mu couple explained as they led the way.

The cemetery was divided into several areas, each separated by shrubs as tall as a person, like a maze, making it hard for first-time visitors to find their way. After following the couple through the cedars and silver firs for a while, they finally stopped in front of a tombstone.

Lou Baoguo looked back and whispered to Zhou Yi, “Where did the boss go? He was right behind me.”

Zhou Yi was speechless, “He’s a grown man, he won’t get lost, look after yourself.”

Meng Lan first wiped the tombstone thoroughly with a tissue. There was an inscription but no photo, clearly, it was empty inside.

Mu Changfeng sighed, “We bought this plot this year. At the time, we thought the case was almost concluded. His body is missing, so at least his soul could have a resting place. We were about to put up a photo and burn some of his clothes to put inside, but then the case took a turn, so we left it. We always think… what if?”

He finished with an awkward laugh, as if he had said something foolish.

“Actually, deep down, we know it’s almost impossible after all this time…” Meng Lan wiped away the tears welling up again, turning to Ji Lin, “Auntie now has just one wish, to catch the real culprit, uncover the truth, give Hao an explanation. Then we can truly let go, live our lives properly, without thinking about it day and night…”

Ji Lin’s lips moved, but he said nothing, his eyes evading the expectant gaze, lacking confidence.

Yu Duqiu glanced at him and responded, “Please rest assured, Officer Ji is brave and persistent; he will catch the real murderer.”

Ji Lin looked at him with a complex expression, unable to bear the expectations from both sides, finally nodding under pressure, “Yes… I will do my best.”

The Mu couple chatted casually with their missing son in front of the empty grave as if he were still alive, getting more emotional as they spoke, tears flowing freely. Yu Duqiu signaled with his eyes to the back, and Zhou Yi and Lou Baoguo immediately understood, persuading the couple to rest under the shade of a tree.

Lou Baoguo turned around and almost bumped into someone, asking in surprise, “Boss, when did you get here? Where were you just now?”

“Just wandering around,” Bai Zhao said, standing behind Yu Duqiu, dutifully on guard.

Lou Baoguo muttered, “Wandering in a cemetery, my boss has guts.”

Zhou Yi: “It’s broad daylight; no ghosts here.”

“True, the scariest thing here right now looks like you.”

“…Do you believe I’ll bury your head in the ground?”

The Mu couple, listening to their pointless banter, felt a bit of their sorrow dissipate, their tears stopping, replaced by warm, kind smiles.

In front of the tombstone, Ji Lin’s brows were deeply furrowed.

“Why do you look more worried than Mu Hao’s parents?” Yu Duqiu asked.

Ji Lin stared at the upright name on the stone, letting out a very light sigh, “I shouldn’t have come here. The case isn’t solved yet; I don’t have the face to see Mu Ge.”

Yu Duqiu, an atheist, didn’t think much of it, “What’s there to be afraid of? It’s just a stone; there’s no ashes inside. Even if there were, it’s just a pile of inorganic matter, it can’t see you.”

Ji Lin gave a muffled laugh, “Sometimes I really envy you; everything seems like a small matter in your eyes.”

“When you’re as rich as I am, many things do become small matters.”

“But I’m just an ordinary person, not as rich or talented as you.” Ji Lin slowly crouched down, reaching out to touch the name carved on the cold marble, “I can’t even help myself; it was Mu Ge who helped me stand up. What can I do to help him? Probably only you, Captain Xu, Chief Peng, Captain Feng can help him. I… am insignificant.”

Yu Duqiu looked at his bent back, like a willow branch weighed down by a heavy load, on the verge of snapping with just a little more pressure.

“Are you giving up?”

“I won’t give up, even if I’m not capable, I will pursue it to the end.” Ji Lin traced the last stroke of the name, then lowered his hand and head, “But he might… not want my help.”

Yu Duqiu let out an unexpected “huh?”: “I can understand the previous sentences, but what’s the last one about?”

Ji Lin pursed his lips, remaining silent.

A breeze blew in front of the tomb, and grass stubbornly sprouted from the cracks between the stones, lush and green, leaning against the white marble, swaying gently in the wind.

Yu Duqiu waited patiently.

Ji Lin’s gaze followed the swaying grass, his eyes gradually welling up, taking a deep breath, he said, “Mu Ge, he… might have known.”

Yu Duqiu was slightly taken aback, not understanding for a moment, but when he did, his eyes widened in disbelief, “You… told him?”

“No. But… that night at graduation, I had some drinks, felt like I said some nonsense… might have been a bit too obvious.”

“What was his reaction?”

Ji Lin gave a self-mocking laugh, “No reaction, he… never had those feelings for me.”

Even so, which secret admirer doesn’t harbor some fantasy?

Yu Duqiu carefully chose his words before speaking softly, “And then?”

“There was no ‘then’.” Ji Lin crouched there, his expression unreadable, “I thought, with his character, even if he knew, he would act like nothing happened and continue being friends… but I didn’t expect him to distance himself from me.”

“After graduation, I tried contacting him, just for regular meetups, but he always said he was busy. Once or twice I didn’t realize, but after many times… even a fool could feel he didn’t want to see me.”

“Last year on his birthday, I bought a gift to see him, intending to clear things up. If he really knew and didn’t want to see me, then he should just block me, save him from making up those lame excuses to brush me off. He’s not good at lying, you know. I never expected anything more, nor did I want him to respond; I just didn’t want him to misunderstand.”

“But when I went, I happened to see him coming home with Wu Min… I thought she was his girlfriend, and I got scared and hid. If I had known that was the last time I’d see him, I should have clarified things no matter what… at least, I could have said a proper goodbye…”

His voice grew quieter and quieter, eventually dissipating in the breeze that brushed past.

If only he had known, if only he had known, but who can truly know in advance?

A moment of cowardice, perhaps it wasn’t really cowardice, but rather the last attempt to reach out, which was defeated by the sight before it could even be spoken.

He could only retreat.

The person who gave him courage was also the only one who could turn him into a coward.