BL Ch86

Suddenly, there was no sound by his ear. Bai Zhao slightly furrowed his brows, his fingers brushing over the face of the person in his arms — it was dry.

“I didn’t cry.” Yu Duqiu gripped his hand, “I’m not a child anymore; I can handle my emotions. If you want to see me make a fool of myself, you’ll be disappointed. I won’t cry anymore in this lifetime.”

Bai Zhao leaned down, unable to see in the darkness, he kissed the corner of his mouth and then slowly moved to his lips, as if to comfort him, “I don’t want to see you cry; I want to see you smile. I want to share your burdens, be someone you can rely on.”

Yu Duqiu, as he wished, curved his lips into a smile, leaning in to let him feel the arc.

Bai Zhao measured this smile with his lips, confirming he was indeed smiling, then asked, “Don’t you hate him?”

Yu Duqiu gave a light laugh, “Hate? Why should I hate him? I’m alive and well, while he’s dead. He should hate me, shouldn’t he?”

“But he betrayed your trust.”

“Hmm, that did leave a shadow on me. I started to become suspicious, no longer trusting those around me, especially drivers. I developed a cleanliness obsession, didn’t dare to eat anything of unknown origin. More annoyingly, I can’t sleep without a light on… But all these combined don’t compare to the impact of his death.”

“You’ve probably heard from Mr. Hong and Dr. Sun, right? I took a year off school and was hospitalized. My memory of that year is very fuzzy; there were few clear days. I often had hallucinations, one moment it was a bloody gun barrel, the next, imagined playmates. I would talk nonsense, and everyone thought I was sick. Well, I guess I’m still somewhat like that.”

Bai Zhao’s lips hadn’t moved away, murmuring like in a dream, “Not necessarily all delusions. ‘Life is but a dream,’ isn’t it? If life itself is a dream, then what happens in dreams might be real events from your life.”

Yu Duqiu chuckled, “Sophistry. But I love hearing that. Let’s be clear, you can have your little secrets, but don’t be foolish like him. If it’s something money can solve, it’s not a problem for me.”

Bai Zhao rubbed his nose with his, “Got it.”

The young master from childhood had grown into a tycoon, with absolute authority and strong control, being generous to his subordinates, not necessarily to win hearts, but perhaps to make up for past regrets.

“And don’t be as insatiable as Master Dong.” Yu Duqiu warned, tapping his nose with a finger, “I never think money is the root of all evil; it’s the human heart. Without people, money is just worthless paper, materials, and data. Like gems, without humans assigning them value, they’re just ordinary stones in nature.”

“I’m the same.” Bai Zhao whispered, “Without your care, I’m just a walking corpse.”

Yu Duqiu was quiet for a moment, then cradled the back of Bai Zhao’s head, “Playing the victim again, alright, let me comfort you, poor little thing.”

He pressed his cool lips to Bai Zhao’s, but they felt unusually cold. Yu Duqiu frowned, mumbling about how cold he was, using his own warmth to heat him up, keeping it light to avoid making too much noise, lest Ji Lin scold them for being scandalous.

But the feeling of kissing in the dark made him momentarily forget their predicament, making the separation particularly reluctant.

Something suddenly touched his fingers, startling Yu Duqiu. He felt a thin branch and, moving up, found it was a flower.

The soft petals seemed to still carry droplets of water, feeling wet to the touch.

“Where did this come from?”

“Before we went into the mine, I saw it by the well.” Bai Zhao said, “It was in a mineral water bottle next to a Buddha statue, probably for praying for safety. I’m giving it to you.”

Yu Duqiu couldn’t help but laugh, “You’re even more of an atheist than I am, taking something offered to the gods…”

He gradually fell silent, as if realizing something.

Bai Zhao touched his lips again, “Before I met you, I was indeed an atheist.”

This statement carried a lot of weight. Yu Duqiu twirled the flower stem, falling into silence for a while before asking, “Didn’t you say you wouldn’t give me flowers anymore?”

Bai Zhao: “That was said in anger. I want to give you flowers every day, hoping one day you’ll accept them out of exasperation.”

Yu Duqiu pondered for a moment before pushing the flower back to him, just like the three times before, “Now’s not the time for this; we’ll talk about it when we get out.”

Bai Zhao didn’t insist this time, casually placing the flower on the cold ground. His fingers seemed to have caught some of the chill, and when he took Yu Duqiu’s hand again, it made him shiver, “Are you very cold?”

“I’m okay, just didn’t wear enough. It’s fine… What’s the date today?”

“The 25th, I think.” Yu Duqiu smiled, “From October 25th last year to today, exactly ten months. No matter the cost, saving Mu Hao was worth it.”

Bai Zhao gave a short “hmm,” seemingly not listening to him, murmuring to himself, “In a few days, it’ll be autumn.”

“Yeah, so what?”

“Nothing, just want to spend this autumn with you.”

Yu Duqiu covered his mouth in annoyance, “Enough, why are you saying so many cheesy things today? Did you learn from Feihua?”

Ji Lin, from the corner, could no longer bear it, “You finally found your conscience. Do you think I can’t guess you two are flirting? Quiet down, we still need to escape when the rain stops.”

“As you command.” Yu Duqiu leisurely lay back in Bai Zhao’s embrace, “Wake me when the rain stops.”

“Okay.”

The rain didn’t weaken, still audible and disturbing sleep, but perhaps the human-shaped couch was too comfortable; he closed his eyes for a brief nap and actually fell asleep.

However, he always slept lightly, especially in such a perilous environment, impossible to sleep soundly. At the slightest disturbance, he woke up, instinctively clenching his fist, ready to trigger the mechanism on his ring.

Bai Zhao gently moved him from his lap, saying, “The rain has stopped; I’ll go check the situation outside.”

Yu Duqiu listened intently; indeed, there was no sound of rain. He checked his phone in power-saving mode and saw he had napped for about twenty minutes.

Ji Lin hadn’t slept and, hearing Bai Zhao, said, “Okay, be careful not to reveal our location.”

Bai Zhao responded, but as he was about to leave, Yu Duqiu grabbed his arm.

“Put this on, just in case.” Yu Duqiu found his finger, slipped off his own ring, and put it on Bai Zhao’s hand, “Remember to give it back; it’s worth over five million.”

Bai Zhao didn’t respond, pulling his hand away.

Yu Duqiu was taken aback, reaching out into the darkness, only to touch emptiness, “Bai Zhao?”

No response.

He was just feeling strange when suddenly, light flooded in from above, dispelling the darkness of the well.

Bai Zhao had climbed up the rope ladder to the mouth of the mine, lifting the waterproof sheet. The sky outside was dark, with lingering clouds making everything look gray, but it was much brighter than the bottom of the mine.

With the faint light from above, Yu Duqiu finally saw his fingers.

And the dried blood on them.

He looked at his hand, puzzled, feeling no pain to suggest an injury.

From the corner of his eye, something colorful caught his attention.

Yu Duqiu, who usually scoffed at superstition, felt a genuine, strong sense of foreboding in that moment.

His heart tightened inexplicably, and he held his breath, slowly turning his head — the spot where they had been leaning was now stained red like ruby by the gray rock, vivid and bloody, yet the smell was masked by the stronger odor below, unnoticed by anyone.

A chill ran up his spine to the top of his head, like a blizzard sweeping through. Yu Duqiu’s mind screamed, feeling numb with cold.

“Bai Zhao… come back here.”

His response was the sound of something hitting the ground with a loud “thud.”

The man at the well’s entrance retracted the blade that had cut the rope ladder, hiding it back in his ring, his pale lips moving, “This way, Bai Zhiming won’t think anyone is hiding below… No one would be foolish enough to trap themselves.”

Ji Lin rushed to the bottom of the well, looking at the rope ladder on the ground in disbelief, shouting at him, “What are you doing? We agreed to leave together!”

Bai Zhao shook his head, “I can’t go far. You’re already struggling with Mu Hao; adding me, we wouldn’t make it.”

His face was as pale as paper, the blood from the wound on his back had soaked through his clothes, dripping down in a horrifying rain of blood.

Ji Lin only now noticed his injury, “What happened to you… Weren’t you fine just now?”

Bai Zhao managed a strained smile, “Since we found Mu Hao, you haven’t paid attention to anyone else, have you?”

Ji Lin was speechless.

Bai Zhao looked at the other person standing still, “Young Master, I’ll go back to the house, find a chance to send a message, and get help for you. Even if I don’t succeed, such a big explosion will surely attract attention; the police will come eventually…”

“I told you to come back, didn’t you hear?” Yu Duqiu interrupted sharply, his bloodshot eyes fixed on him with ferocity, “Who told you to decide on your own? What do you mean? Think I can’t protect you? I—”

“Yu Duqiu.”

The person called by his full name froze instantly, all the words on the tip of his tongue blocked by the calm, resolute three syllables.

[If I call you by your full name, no matter what happens, you must listen to me, regardless of my life or death.]

“Listen to me this once, okay?”

“… Don’t do anything stupid.” Yu Duqiu took deep breaths repeatedly, but the icy feeling of suffocation still clung to him. He softened his tone, coaxing gently, “I can carry you. Bai Zhiming might not even catch up. We’re not at a dead end yet; there’s no need for your unnecessary sacrifice.”

“He will, I know him too well. He won’t stop until he sees your body dead for sure… cough cough! By the time he catches up, it’ll be too late…” Bai Zhao stood up shakily, like a leaf about to fall, “If I can come back… I’ll find you.”

Yu Duqiu’s clenched fist trembled, his nails digging into his flesh, “How can you come back in this state… You’re just going to die!”

“It’s not in vain…” Bai Zhao pointed to Mu Hao in the corner of the well, who had woken up and was looking up at him in confusion, “Everything you’ve done so far… hasn’t it all been for him? Even your most secret computer password is for him… As long as he’s alive, it’s worth it.”

“We can all survive, trust me, let’s discuss it, there might be other ways…”

“The trolley problem, remember? ‘Protect you at all costs.'” Bai Zhao seemed to smile slightly, his brows softer than ever, “See, I remember every word you say… Don’t forget me.”

“What did you remember! Didn’t we agree not to die? Doing something stupid again!” Yu Duqiu hissed in a low roar, his voice trembling uncontrollably, “I order you to come back! Come back now!”

Bai Zhao looked down at him from above, as if trying to etch his image into his mind, “In your view… dying might be foolish… cough cough! But for me, apart from my love, my life is the only thing I can give you… I have nothing else of value…”

Yu Duqiu felt his strength being sapped by an icy chill, his limbs almost unable to support him, “I don’t want you to give it, I don’t need it, I just want you to come back… I promised you wouldn’t die here, trust me…”

“It doesn’t matter where I die.” The evening wind blew across Bai Zhao’s face, his wet, blood-stained hair too heavy to flutter, he took a deep breath, suddenly asking, “Do you know what’s tattooed on me?”

Yu Duqiu looked up in a daze, the feeling of losing control washing over him like a tide, pulling him into a dark abyss, reaching for the only light, sinking further away.

Bai Zhao continued on his own, “Bai Zhiming made us tattoo a symbol of sin to always remind ourselves not to forget our roots… not to stand with hypocritical justice…”

“Jiang Sheng had hellfire, Liu Shaojie had an evil dragon, and I… I have a word: fall…”

“I told him it meant ‘fall,’ signifying that I would fall forever… straight to hell.”

“But you know… it has another meaning…”

“This tattoo won’t send me to hell because it represents the only deity I believe in.”

“It will only remind me repeatedly not to fall, not to make mistakes, because to be by the side of a deity, one must be pure.”

Bai Zhao’s eyes were very dark now, like an endless night without dawn.

“The hibiscus might not bloom tomorrow; it might rot in this mud… I might not see this autumn, you might not find my intact body to take back… but that doesn’t matter, don’t mind it, the body is just a vessel…”

He coughed violently, having to cover his mouth with his hand, dark red blood seeping through his fingers, tracing down in streaks, but his eyes were smiling.

“Just remember… day and night alternate, the seasons change, and in my heart… it’s always autumn.”

With that, he staggered back a step and disappeared from view.

The sky above the well was gloomy and dark, without a single star.

Yu Duqiu murmured softly, “Bai Zhao…?”

No response.

Ji Lin, seeing this, raised his voice to shout, “Bai—uh!?”

He looked in astonishment at the person who suddenly covered his mouth.

“… It’s too open here; we can’t be too loud.” Yu Duqiu removed his hand, turned around, and staggered to the dark corner where the light didn’t reach, leaning against the blood-stained stones, his gaze unfocused as he slowly sat down, “Take care of Mu Hao, we wait for someone to come.”

Ji Lin looked at him in disbelief, “Bai Zhao left! He’ll die!”

“I know.” Yu Duqiu was unusually calm, his eyelids too heavy to lift, always drooping, “If you shout again, if someone comes, all three of us will die.”

Ji Lin rushed over, grabbing his collar, “You just gave up on him that easily? Huh?”

“What else then?” Yu Duqiu looked up; the darkness blurred his pupils, making them look empty, “I ask you… if Bai Zhiming really chases us, can we carry two people? If we can’t, and we must abandon one, would you leave Mu Hao behind?”

The answer was obvious.

Even in death, Ji Lin would never let Mu Hao fall back into the clutches of evil.

Moreover, relatively speaking, Mu Hao was lighter and easier to carry than Bai Zhao.

“He didn’t want us to be in a dilemma, didn’t want to be left behind, so he made his choice.” Yu Duqiu’s tone was as calm as ever, even managing a slight smile, “Anyway, even if we stay here waiting for rescue, we have nothing to stop his bleeding; he would still die. Might as well use his last bit of light and heat…”

Ji Lin shook him hard, anger making the veins on his neck bulge, “You still have the mood to laugh? Do you have any conscience? He died for you!”

“I’m not the only one who’s died because of me!” Yu Duqiu burst out unexpectedly but still kept his voice low.

The echo reverberated in the narrow well bottom, and both fell into a brief silence.

“Should I die with him? Then his departure would be meaningless…” Yu Duqiu’s tone quickly steadied, only the trembling in his voice betraying his palpitations, “If you have a conscience, climb up there. If you can bring him back… the fifty billion Jiang Sheng didn’t take is in another account, all yours.”

Ji Lin was stunned.

Fifty billion for a life was not something the Yu Duqiu he knew would consider “foolish.” Even when Jiang Sheng threatened him with a gun, he didn’t reveal any information.

This statement from Yu Duqiu was like saying: I will pay any price to get Bai Zhao back.

But they both knew Bai Zhao wasn’t coming back.

The well was ten meters deep, narrow at the top and wide at the bottom, with sloped walls converging upward; without being an expert climber, it was impossible to scale without equipment.

Even if by some chance someone didn’t fall, climbing up would take so long that by then, Bai Zhao would be near the house, possibly… beyond saving.

Conserving strength and waiting for rescue was the wisest choice, Ji Lin knew this, but his sense of justice as a policeman wouldn’t allow him to give up on a life without trying, even if he knew the effort was futile.

Yu Duqiu was different; it seemed like his human emotions had left with Bai Zhao, turning him into a cold, emotionless machine operating solely on logic, calculating the best option based on the current situation.

Everything he did was so reasonable, correct, and calm, yet under these circumstances, it seemed so strange, indifferent, and cruel.

Like a stress response.

When the situation spirals out of control and he feels helpless, he hides his humanity and sensibility, letting rationality take over his brain to operate at the highest efficiency, trying to regain control.

This was Yu Duqiu’s defense mechanism, seen during the Yu Wencheng case and the Dong Yongliang case.

He perfectly molded himself into a deity above all human joys and sorrows, unshakable in his composure.

Though it might seem to lack humanity, he was like an anchor; as long as he was still smiling, everyone felt the sky hadn’t fallen, things weren’t that bad, and there would be a way to fix it.

In some ways, he truly was a savior-like figure.

Ji Lin let go of him, slowly stepping back to Mu Hao’s side, slumping down, his head resting on his knees.

He had no right to question Yu Duqiu. If he hadn’t insisted on saving the pregnant woman, they wouldn’t be trapped here, and Bai Zhao wouldn’t have gone to his death.

At the root of it all, he was the one who caused Bai Zhao’s death.

Ji Lin felt a lump in his throat, choking back his sorrow.

The next second, he felt someone lightly touch his hair.

He turned in surprise to see the person lying on the ground struggling to lift an arm, patting his head again as if to comfort him.

Tears burst from Ji Lin’s eyes.

Although Mu Hao was dazed and had difficulty speaking, his vision and hearing were intact. He vaguely understood what they were arguing about and wanted to comfort Yu Duqiu, but his arm couldn’t reach that far.

Yu Duqiu didn’t look at them either.

It seemed as if he was surrounded by an invisible wall, sitting alone in the dark corner, holding a long-stemmed flower, lost in thought.

The flower was originally white but now half-dyed red with blood, feeling wet to the touch.

He gently caressed the soft, bloody petals, and after a long moment, suddenly snapped the stem and threw it to the ground.

Then, carefully, he placed the flower into the breast pocket of his shirt.

The white shirt had gathered much dirt and dust from when he fell down the mountain, dirty everywhere except for the clean patch over his chest, showing how well he had been protected before.

The blood from the petals seeped through from inside out, as if a hole had been gouged in his chest, gradually staining it with a shocking dark red.

[Young Master, if I die tomorrow, will you regret what you said today?]

[We’ll see if you die.]

…

Now he knew.