CHDY 38
by soapa“Mr. Jaeon.”
It was time to apologize for what he had done yesterday. But before Inha could get the first word out, Jaeon spoke what he had been holding in.
“Please pack your things and leave.”
Even then, his gaze remained fixed on the window outside.
“…Yesterday…”
“I do not want to talk about that.”
Before he could say anything, Jaeon cut off the conversation. It was clear from his tone that he did not want to even briefly recall anything related to yesterday’s events.
An uncomfortable silence fell, and Inha briefly clutched his head.
“…Why did you not report me?”
“…”
“You can report me, Mr. Jaeon. I know what I did.”
“I do not want to do that.”
A firm core had formed in his speaking voice.
“I just… do not want to get entangled with you anymore.”
The words that followed cut across Inha’s chest with a chilling sensation.
“…”
The sun-drenched hospital room was the same scene as yesterday. The fairy tale book placed near the bed was also the same. The few small potted plants he had brought to the window to lift Jaeon’s spirits were still in the same spot, soaking up the sunlight.
“From now on… I hope we do not have to see each other.”
As the calm voice settled, the scenery distorted.
He slowly lowered his eyes, as if drawing a curtain. In a strange sense of disconnection, Inha had a premonition that this was the final moment.
“Why…”
He forced the words out, feeling his throat tighten.
“Did you lie to me?”
“…”
“Why… why did you go so far as to pretend to be an omega and try to sleep with me?”
Inha’s pupils turned towards Jaeon, as if interrogating him.
“…What is the use of that now.”
It seemed he had no intention of revealing his true feelings, even at this point. Looking at Jaeon, who would not even meet his eyes, he felt his insides burning.
“Was that really all there was to it? Wanting to sleep with me once. Is that all?”
His lips twisted.
“Do you enjoy lightly reeling people in like that every time, and watching them play along?”
“That is not it, I really, Mr. Inha…”
Jaeon turned his head and finally met Inha’s eyes. But as soon as their eyes met, Jaeon’s mouth clammed shut again like a seashell.
A sense of helplessness spread at the conversation that was not moving forward at all.
“I do not know what kind of person you are, Mr. Jaeon.”
Inha confessed in a hollow voice.
“I… thought you liked me, Mr. Jaeon.”
Jaeon, who was facing that dark inner self for the first time, widened his eyes.
“I thought you, loved me.”
A voice so low it was chilling scattered like a hallucination.
After blurting out the unexpected confession, he felt an unbearable feeling. The thought that he had to leave filled his head, and Inha turned around and began to pack his things.
“…You are right.”
The hand that was putting things into the suitcase stopped moving. Inha’s upright body turned towards Jaeon.
“What did you say?”
“…”
“…What did you just say?”
He asked again, but no words came back. Jaeon had once again become mute as a clam and shut his mouth. It was when Inha, confused as to whether he had misheard or if he had really agreed, was about to press him impatiently.
“…I…”
A sound burst through his slightly parted lips.
“I, Mr. Inha…, continuously…”
The voice continued, as if it would break off at any moment. “Continuously?” Inha’s two eyes distorted precariously as he urged him on.
“Continuously…, …did.”
Love.
I loved you.
It was a very small sound, but he heard it clearly.
Love.
Inha’s pupils shook uncontrollably upon hearing it. He clenched his hands, seized by an unknown thrill.
What did he just say.
He was seized by a much more urgent and fierce feeling than before he had heard it. He needed to hear what Jaeon had said more clearly. He needed to hear it in a volume that could not be mistaken, in a form that could not be misconstrued.
Before he could even urge him to repeat it properly, Jaeon added.
“But not anymore.”
“…”
“Now…, I just, do not want to see you, Mr. Inha. In the past, I was happy just being able to meet you once a day, for a little while… but now…”
Jaeon, who was speaking, furrowed his brow as if in pain.
He stared at Jaeon in a state of numbness, as if his mind had gone black.
“…I am sorry.”
Inha doubted his own ears.
“Because I am lacking…”
Even in a situation like this, Jaeon was blaming himself.
“Please… let me breathe.”
A dry, cracked tear fell from the eyes of the pleading Jaeon.