CHDY 42

“……What’s with you. You talk like you’re never going to contact me again.”

“It’s not like that. Let’s get a meal together later.”

“Just you try ignoring my texts.”

“I won’t.”

Smiling, Jaeon said his final goodbye.

After the short but touching farewell, he was immediately hit by reality. A hole was about to form in next month’s living expenses, which was no different from a bolt out of the blue. Feeling a headache, Jaeon sat down on a bench in the shopping center and let out a long sigh.

Lost in thought, the person he called was the manager of the convenience store he was currently working at. It was because he remembered that he had once asked if he could work on weekdays as well. Originally, he had been using people by dividing the shifts as much as possible, but it seemed a troublesome incident had recently occurred. It was not long ago that he had heard him say he was reluctant to hire a new part-timer without knowing what kind of person they were.

As soon as the call connected, Jaeon cautiously expressed his desire to work as long as possible on weekdays too. Fortunately, a spot seemed to be available, and he was able to get a firm promise that he could start tomorrow.

Even after returning home, he made plans here and there to cut down on living expenses. For the time being, he intended to get by just by working at the convenience store and the parking lot.

The next day, after barely wrapping up an exhausting day, Jaeon went to work at the convenience store as scheduled. He familiarly cleaned the store, stocked and organized the shelves, and occasionally served customers. While doing so, he was a little surprised to realize that his mind was more at ease than he had expected.

Come to think of it, this level of work was just right for him. His income would decrease noticeably, but at least his mind was at peace. In a way, it might have been a good thing. His body was getting worse and worse, and a strenuous job like serving would have eventually hit its physical limit. If he ended up in the hospital, that would be a really big problem.

Even though he had skipped breakfast, he did not feel particularly tired. Jaeon, munching on the plum-flavored caramel he had chosen instead of a meal, sprayed disinfectant on the tables. As he was wiping them clean over and over again, a customer came in. “Welcome,” he greeted brightly and diligently cleaned.

Returning to the counter and continuing to tidy up, the customer put down his basket. Jaeon immediately began the task of scanning the items’ barcodes. The items in the basket were all familiar things. The plum-flavored caramel that Jaeon had been eating was also in there, which made him secretly happy.

“That will be 16,700 won.”

He announced the amount displayed on the screen, and the customer held out cash. However, Jaeon, who was about to take the money, could not take it and froze. The moment he saw the outstretched hand, his heart dropped with a heavy sound.

“……”

His head would not move, as if paralyzed. Suppressing the urge to run out, he just moved his hands mechanically. He put in the bill he received and took out the change, holding it out to the other person. “Have a good day.” His hasty farewell voice was noticeably stiff.

“……It’s been a while.”

A voice he did not want to hear was heard. As if by an irresistible force, Jaeon’s face was lifted. As their eyes met, even the breath he was exhaling stopped. It felt as if even the flowing blood had momentarily stopped moving.

“I didn’t know you were working here.”

“……”

Inha still had a picturesque face. He stood before Jaeon, still looking as perfect as a meticulously crafted work of art. Jaeon, conscious of his own shabby appearance today, lowered his gaze.

“I moved to this neighborhood recently. The closest convenience store is here, so I think I’ll be coming often……”

“……”

“If it makes Mr. Jaeon uncomfortable, I’ll go to a different place.”

Even as he heard the words, Jaeon was in a state of confusion. All the words broke into syllables and did not enter his head. It was only after a long while that he understood what he said. After a strange silence, Jaeon swallowed past a raspy throat.

“……No. ……You don’t need to do that.”

Because I am not conscious of you. It was a statement meant to convey that sentiment, but he regretted it as soon as he said it. If he allowed this, he would have to face him unexpectedly at any time in the future. He could picture himself being on edge all day, conscious of when Inha might come.

For some reason, Inha just looked down without any reply. Jaeon was frozen by that gaze. He could not even blink, nor could he breathe in and out comfortably. Just as his fingertips began to feel numb, as if blood was not circulating, the convenience store’s glass door opened with a jingle. “—Welcome.” Greeting as if bursting out, Jaeon finally exhaled. He left the counter and moved about busily, showing signs of being occupied.

“……Well then, have a good day.”

The sound of Inha’s farewell dug into his ears. He pretended not to hear and focused only on cleaning the floor. In the meantime, the presence that had been gnawing at and pressing down on his nerves disappeared from the space. Once he was sure Inha had left, Jaeon deflated like a popped balloon.

“……”

On one side of the counter, the half-eaten plum-flavored caramel remained. It was just that, but an unbearable wave of shame washed over him.

He could not move from his spot for a while, as if a deeply hidden secret had been exposed.

After that unexpected encounter, a corner of his nerves was on edge every day. From the time he arrived at the convenience store until he left, he could not help but be conscious of Inha’s visit all day long. When would he appear, what would he say to him today. He was constantly in a state of tension, thinking about such things that had not even happened. He sighed several times a day like a person awaiting an important interview.

So, for that reason, when he did not show up for a whole week, the first emotion that came to him was a sense of futility. He felt a greater sense of anger, which he himself could not understand, rather than relief.

Should I quit here and move somewhere else? The thought that crossed his mind soon changed to the thought of why he should have to do that. As a week and another three days passed, Jaeon actually felt more at ease. It was because he had an inexplicable conviction that Inha had switched to going to a different convenience store.

Maybe Inha also felt uncomfortable when they actually came face to face. A gloomy, dreary face like this, bumping into it would only put one in a bad mood. Besides, it was not like they had good memories……

At first, he felt genuinely relieved that he did not have to see Inha. But that relief was only temporary, and it gradually turned into a hard-to-explain depression. His already poor appetite disappeared, and symptoms of insomnia also became more pronounced. As his concentration declined, he found himself spacing out more often while working.

Bzzz-.

Jaeon, who had been spacing out, lowered his eyes at the sound of his phone vibrating. He took his phone out of his pocket. The name on the screen was ‘Seongju hyung’.

“Yes, hyung.”

-What are you doing? Can I see you today?

“Ah, I’m working right now……”

-Work? What kind, the convenience store you mentioned before?

“Yes. The convenience store.”

Seongju and he had exchanged a few text messages since then. They had not been able to eat together yet because their schedules did not match, but they were messaging from time to time. It was mostly gossip about the people at the restaurant or stories related to Seongju’s love life.

-Where is the convenience store?

“It’s……”

-Text me the address of the branch, okay?

The call was disconnected before he could even give a proper answer. Jaeon, who was staring blankly at his phone, hurriedly typed in the address and sent it.

Is he planning to come all the way here? That can’t be it. Not even twenty minutes after he thought that, Seongju opened the convenience store door and came in.

“Ta-da!”

A surprised Jaeon’s eyes widened as he greeted Seongju.

“Hyung, you were really coming?”

“Of course I was really coming, that’s why I asked for the address. How come you’re busy every single day? I have to come to your workplace just to get a glimpse of your face.”

“……I know, right. Thank you for coming, hyung.”

Jaeon bought Seongju a drink with his own money.

“Here you go.”

“What’s this, I was going to buy it.”

Although he glared, Seongju happily accepted the drink. The conversation was cut off as two teams of customers came in one after another and he had to ring them up. Once the customers left, Seongju became talkative as if he had been waiting.

“This is a guy I was set up with recently. What do you think?”

Jaeon looked at the photo in the phone that Seongju held out. As expected, it was a tall man with excellent looks. When he told him he was handsome, Seongju let out a long sigh of unknown meaning.

“He doesn’t catch my eye at all. Ever since I saw that ridiculously handsome dominant back then, my standards have only gotten higher. No matter how much I think about it, I should have just run out and gotten his number then. It’s such a waste that his face is getting blurry in my head. If I just knew his name, I could look him up on social media or something…… He’s not a celebrity or a model, is he? Probably not. He had a vibe of walking around freely without being conscious of his surroundings.”

Seongju was lost in his own world, endlessly rambling on.

“Jaeon, you got anything going on?”

“……Me?…… It’s always the same.”

“What kind of alpha do you want to meet? Don’t you have an ideal type?”

“……”

For a moment, Inha’s face flashed by, and he was flustered. Jaeon shook his head as if to shake it off and answered.

“I don’t know. For me, just an ordinary person would be fine.”

“There you go being coy again. Then what about personality?”

“……Someone kind and warm would be nice, I think.”

Pfft, Seongju burst out laughing.

“Don’t tell me you wouldn’t even mind if they were a beta, as long as they were kind?”

“……Even if they were a beta, I don’t think I would mind that much……”

Leaving aside gender and secondary gender, he wondered if there was anyone in this world who would even date him in the first place. He was stammering when a logistics delivery arrived, cutting off the conversation. While Jaeon received the goods and restocked the warehouse and the store one by one, Seongju was busy rambling on about himself next to him.

Stories about the alpha he was set up with, the alpha he met at a bar, the type of alpha he likes, and so on. He, who had been rambling on without a break, suddenly stopped talking. Jaeon, who had stopped organizing, looked to his side. Seongju was staring somewhere with a dazed look on his face.

Puzzled, he turned around, and Jae-on froze as well.

“……”

Where he turned, there was Inha. He was looking down and choosing items, his tall stature making his face rise well above the display shelves.