CHDY 43

The moment Inha raised his gaze, Jaeon whipped his head around. He finished arranging the item he was holding and hurried back to the counter. Seongju, following behind, mouthed something silently to Jaeon. Jaeon could not understand what he was saying.

Soon, he faced Inha with the counter between them. Jaeon tried to kill his thoughts and feelings. He consciously emptied his mind to feel nothing and show nothing.

“Ah, I’m sorry, this isn’t scanning, so I’ll just……”

But in doing so, he made a mistake.

“It’s okay. Take your time.”

Inha spoke in a soothing tone to Jaeon, who was bowing his head in embarrassment. Jaeon, feeling sweat pool in his palms from the mortification, finished the transaction. After he was done, without even knowing how, Inha, who had been standing in front of him, was gone. He could not remember if he had said goodbye, or if Inha had replied with a thank you to his farewell.

“This is crazy, really……”

Seongju covered his mouth as he stared in the direction Inha had left.

“That guy from before, the dominant alpha I was talking about! You don’t recognize him?”

“Ah……”

“How did we run into him here? Isn’t this fate?”

Only then did Jaeon understand Seongju’s actions. From the way he stared in a daze, to the way he had urgently whispered something to Jaeon.

“Hey, hey, this is insane. I have to get his number. I’ll be right back, just a second!”

Seongju rushed out, and Jaeon was left frozen in place.

To think the person Seongju was talking about was Inha. It felt like a ridiculous coincidence. He recalled Seongju blushing uncharacteristically, and his eyes sparkling as he asked if it was not fate.

Inha and Seongju, both were a perfect alpha and omega. When he pictured the two of them together, the heartfelt sentiment of ‘they look good together’ automatically followed. It seemed Jaeon, without even realizing it, had played the role of a matchmaker for the two. He had not expected it, but he thought maybe this was for the best, and blankly went into the stockroom.

When he came out after organizing, Seongju was back in the convenience store.

“Hey, I got rejected. He rejected me so politely, it was even more embarrassing.”

Seongju said, looking downcast.

“……”

Jaeon, who was about to reply with something, pressed his lips shut. The moment he heard Seongju’s words, he felt a deep self-loathing for the relief he felt.

“Ah, but why do I feel so good even though I got rejected? How can a person’s voice be so perfect too? He was even prettier and more handsome up close. Is his skin Snow White’s or what? It’s much better than omegas who take care of their skin. The tattoo on his neck is so damn sexy, and the long hair suits him well too. And why is he so tall? He looks like he’s over 190 cm, really, hah……. I’m usually never like this, but I found myself shamelessly clinging to him. When I told him my social media handle, saying we could just be friends, he accepted that at least.”

At the last words, Jaeon’s hand flinched.

“You were staring blankly too, right? You were trembling because he was so handsome, right? Still, thanks to you messing up the transaction, I got to hear his voice and look at his face for a long time. I honestly almost came when he said to take my time.”

“……”

“No, but seriously, his walls are too high. What do I do? I’m not lacking anywhere, but my pride is hurt. Ah, but when I think of his face, I can’t help but smile.”

Seongju giggled and leaned over the counter.

“At least I got his social media. I’m going to stalk him every day-.”

After that, Seongju talked about Inha for a long time. He went on and on about how divinely perfect he was up close, and only after about an hour did he leave the convenience store, saying he had an appointment.

Jaeon, left behind, could not concentrate on his work at all. After making repeated mistakes, he went into the stockroom, slapped his face a few times, and barely managed to pull himself together.

It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s nothing.

He tried to calm his agitated feelings by repeating the strange monologue like a mantra.

That Inha would visit as a customer the next day as well was unexpected. Jaeon, who had been unsuspectingly eating a cream bun, felt his throat tighten and shot up from his seat.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were having a meal. I’ll come back later.”

“……It’s fine!”

As he shouted, Inha turned back.

“Just, it’s fine, so buy it now.”

He hated waiting anxiously for when Inha might come back even more. It was also burdensome for him to show consideration that he would not for a regular customer.

While Inha got his drink, Jaeon gulped down water. When he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, a piece of bread came off. He squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed his mouth several times with the palm of his hand.

A short while later, Inha returned to the counter with two bottles of drinks. In the meantime, Jaeon, who had completely erased his expression, calmly scanned the barcodes.

“Should I put them in a bag for you.”

“No. It’s okay.”

Even after he announced the price and the payment was complete, Inha did not leave. Jaeon glanced up at him as he stood there with a somewhat hesitant air.

“Um……. Could I get a pack of M Lights, please?”

Inha ordered the cigarettes only after he had finished paying. Jaeon took out the cigarettes he mentioned and scanned the barcode. Even after the additional payment for the cigarettes was finished, he did not move. He looked at Jaeon as if he had something more to say.

“By any chance……”

Just as Inha opened his mouth, the convenience store door opened. The customers who came in walked straight to the counter. While he got the cigarettes the customers ordered and rang them up, Inha took his drinks and cigarettes and left the convenience store. Jaeon watched this from the corner of his eye but did not call out to him or anything.

……What on earth was he trying to say.

Even after Inha left, thoughts of him lingered in his head all day.

Could it be about Seongju?

Inha had rejected Seongju’s request to exchange numbers yesterday. But thinking about it, there was no way he would not like Seongju. The reason he rejected him might have been simply because he saw Seongju talking to Jaeon and realized he was Jaeon’s acquaintance. Because of his prior complicated history with Jaeon, he might have had no choice but to inevitably refuse, even if he liked Seong-ju.

At that thought, his chest felt tight. For some reason, Jaeon felt like he had become an obstacle between the two of them. Even his faint appetite completely disappeared. He fiddled with the precious bun, but in the end, he threw it in the trash can.

Jingle, the bell rang, and the sound of the door opening was heard. “Welcome.” He greeted reflexively and tore his eyes away from the trash can. When he lifted his head again, Inha, who had left just a moment ago, was in front of him.

“Do you have time after work today?”

“……”

He felt like he knew why he was asking. And what he was going to talk about.

“……No.”

Replying curtly, Jaeon turned away. He began to repeat the task of checking the cigarette inventory, a job he had already finished an hour ago, one more time.

Even after he finished the task of restocking, he could see Inha still standing in that spot. Pretending not to notice him watching intently, Jaeon constantly found work to do.

Jaeon’s organizing hands grew rougher. The more strongly he felt Inha’s presence, the larger his surging emotions became. He was the person who had said he would not appear before him, so he could rest assured. The thought that he was not only appearing like this but also demanding more felt more and more shameless the more he thought about it.

Of all times, no customers came in. Jaeon repeated the floor cleaning he had done just a few minutes ago. He took the mop and mopped the floor. Was it because his mind was elsewhere? Or was it because of his frequent dizzy spells? Even though it was a familiar mopping task, his foot slipped. As he stumbled and was about to fall backward, thud, something supported his back.

“Are you okay?”

He could feel the closer breath and a firm chest.

“……Let go!”

As if having a fit, Jaeon shook himself free. Something like an ominous premonition brushed creepily against the back of his neck. The moment right before he vomited at the shopping center a few days ago overlapped.

Jaeon hesitated repeatedly before spitting out the question he had been afraid to voice.

“……Did you really not know I was working here?”

This scent, he felt like he had smelled it at a specific moment. It could be purely a misunderstanding. It might be because he had become overly sensitive. But he instinctively felt that way.

“……”

For some reason, Inha could not continue his words. His eyes, looking down at Jaeon, wavered slightly. He certainly looked troubled in a way he had not before. The moment he faced his confusion, revealed like a hairline crack, Jaeon felt a chill run down to his toes.

The feelings that someone was constantly following him. The situations that were somehow strange for a coincidence. It was as if all of it was telling him it was not just his imagination.

“Get out.”

Jaeon pushed Inha’s arms.

“Get……, get out, I said!”

It was when Inha opened his mouth with an expression as if to protest something.

“You said you would never appear in front of me again!”

Jaeon screamed. It was a sound so loud it surprised himself.

“……”

Only then did Inha seem to come to his senses and flinched. The look of wanting to explain something was gone. With a face as cold and hard as a plaster statue, he twisted his entire body and turned away. Without leaving behind any words, neither an apology nor a promise to come again, he left the convenience store just like that.

Jaeon, who had been staring blankly at the door, pulled his trembling body together.

Is he gone?

Is this the end?

The realization of ‘so this is how it ends’ at the end made him let out a hollow breath.

The futile and self-deprecating thought that he had once again experienced something he never wanted to experience again brushed past him. No matter how many times he went through it, his mind went blank at the empty conclusion. The awareness that he would not see Inha’s face after this moment made Jaeon infinitely calm, to the point of feeling a chill.

However, it was only after the sun had set that he could realize that was also purely a misunderstanding.

On the way home after finishing work in the evening, the conclusion he had barely managed to tie up was shattered to pieces. As the figure of a man larger than others standing at the entrance of the alleyway came into view, he realized that the ending with Inha had not yet been fully completed.

Inha was guarding the street corner like a gloomy figure. Watching him smoking a cigarette, Jaeon saw a moment from the past overlap. It was the image of him waiting to give Jaeon porridge and medicine a long time ago.

“……”

Jaeon put strength into his legs, which felt like they were about to collapse. The temptation to run away down another path came, but he shook it off and straightened his posture.

He told himself not to be conscious of it. Perhaps Inha was not waiting for Jaeon. Even if he was waiting, it had nothing to do with Jaeon. He took a step with a calm expression, as if passing a stranger.

“Mr. Jaeon.”

At Inha’s calling voice, a stinging sensation brushed against his chest. It was miserable how his whole body reacted just by his name being called. Inha followed behind Jaeon, who was ignoring him and passing by. Inha caught Jaeon’s arm with the hand that had thrown away the cigarette.

“Jaeon-ah.”

It was a voice he had forgotten. As the memories and sensations he had consciously buried came back to life, Jaeon suddenly felt like he was going to cry.

“……Jaeon-ah.”

As if he had noticed, Inha called him one more time. Just by being called like that, Jaeon could not move. Scenes surfaced, and emotions overflowed. The moments that had passed came back to life, layer upon layer. The sensations his body remembered momentarily returned Jaeon to the past.

He put strength into his stinging eyes and sore throat. The protruding emotion became precarious, as if it would explode at any moment. He knew Inha was not using his pheromones. He knew, but despite that, he felt as if he were being mercilessly manipulated. In any case, he could not escape Inha. It meant there was no need to go this far to shake him up and torment him.

“Please stop……, please just stop……”

Jaeon pleaded sincerely.

“……Do you really……, have to go this far?”

“……”

“You can just ignore me. Someone like me……”

Jaeon turned around and, unable to hold it in, shouted.

“You can just do as you please, like you’ve always done. From now on, do whatever you want! As long as it’s not me, I don’t care who Mr. Inha meets!”

It was Inha’s freedom to meet Seongju. There was no need to act as if he were asking for permission. He might think it was an act of not ignoring Jaeon, but to Jaeon, it felt like the exact opposite. The more Inha acted like this, the more he felt miserably ignored and trampled on.

“……Do you really not care?”

“Yes……! How many more times should I tell you. I don’t care, I don’t care! So don’t waste your time on me and go meet the person you want in this time. Go be obsessed with that person!”

“……Are you being serious?”

Inha grabbed both of Jaeon’s forearms.

“Are you being serious?”

Jaeon’s eyes anxiously watched Inha’s, which were right in front of his nose. It was a gaze that seemed to dig into his heart and grip it coldly.

“Even though you loved me?”

The words, questioning as he shook him slightly, cut across his chest. Jaeon’s pupils trembled as if in shock. Soon, even his body began to tremble.

“If I knew you were this kind of person……”

Jaeon pressed his trembling lips together tightly, then parted them again.

“If I knew you were this kind of person, I wouldn’t have even associated with you.”

He glared and shot back in an unwavering voice.

“……”

The hands that had been holding his shoulders slowly fell away.

Freed from the constricting force, Jaeon took a step back from Inha.

He knew there was nothing left to say to each other. The throbbing that had started in the arm he had been held by was becoming more and more distinct. Jaeon turned his back on the heavy presence standing before him and hurriedly moved his feet. He quickly escaped from the alleyway where he did not want to stay for even a second longer.

When he looked back before turning the corner, Inha was still standing tall in that spot. The tall, lanky silhouette was facing Jaeon.

His shoulders trembled involuntarily at the gloomy atmosphere and the massive frame. In the unfamiliar chill, Jaeon left everything behind and hurried his steps.