CHDY 47

“……”

What was truly strange was that all of Inha’s actions, which had been incomprehensible until now, all made sense when interpreted as Seongju had said. It seemed to explain everything, like why he had changed so suddenly, and why he had gotten angry in that way.

Suddenly, his chest tightened, and Jaeon closed his eyes. He pressed on the area around his heart and let out a sigh.

While rationally thinking it was not true, his heart kept clinging to the slim possibility. Every time the scales tipped even slightly towards that thread of possibility, his whole body reacted, and he felt a sensation he could not tell was joy or pain.

Was it a good thing, or a sad thing? Or was he angry at himself for ruining everything? Even though they were his own feelings, he could not understand any of them.

It had already been a month since Inha had stopped appearing at the convenience store.

He had a premonition that he probably would not appear anymore after ending things like that in the alley. Although he had always thought it was the last time, the weight of it was different this time.

When they reunited at the convenience store, Jaeon had believed the lie Inha told. He had only thought that meeting again like this was purely a ‘cruel coincidence.’ Even when he found out later that Inha had been following him, that he had appeared intentionally from the beginning, he had simply dismissed it as an ‘incomprehensible obsession.’

But not now.

For the first time, he began to think of another possibility. Interpreted as Seongju had said, all of those things were deep, lingering feelings. Feelings that had not yet ended.

If Inha had not sought him out first, they would not have even been able to meet again. Thinking that, he felt an unbearable feeling, different from before. As he thought about Inha, who must have been constantly searching for him, he was instantly captivated by a feeling of fondness.

He wanted to see Inha. The feeling of wanting to see him was so intense that it was a little scary, and he missed everything about Inha. Along with the feeling of wanting to meet him, an unfounded anxiety that he would not be able to see him anymore, that he would never be able to meet him, also grew.

“……”

Jaeon took his phone out of his pocket. After looking for Inha in his contacts, he went into his call history. It was because he remembered receiving a call from an unfamiliar number before.

When the window to send a message popped up, he hesitated. His mind was in a complicated tangle, not knowing what kind of message to send. As he was looking for any pretext to meet, he remembered that he had to repay the money he had received from Inha. Since he also had the envelope with the remaining money he received from his mother, he thought it would be good to meet in person to first repay this amount and say that he would earn the rest and repay it gradually.

‘Inha-ssi. I have something to talk to you about’

He stopped after writing the message up to that point and moved the cursor.

‘Inha-ssi. This is Seo Jaeon, I have something to talk to you about, would you be able to meet for a moment today?’

The message, which he had finished writing, was now just waiting to be sent.

Tinkle, the bell on the door rang as a customer came in.

“Welcome!”

He hurriedly greeted him and at the same time put his phone in his pocket.

“……”

Jaeon’s eyes were fixed on the customer who had just entered. And right after the person’s face came into view, he could not help but freeze, defenseless.

His hair was shorter, so he almost did not recognize him for a moment. But the man who appeared before his eyes was Inha, whom he could not possibly mistake for anyone else.

At the disorienting timing, his heart began to beat irregularly. Gulp, Jaeon swallowed, his Adam’s apple moving, and stared at Inha as if possessed. Standing at the display shelf and quietly looking down at the items, he, like any other customer, was not paying any attention to this side.

Jaeon stared so intently that it was almost rude at his shorter hair, which revealed the line of his neck. He knew it was definitely Inha, but he looked like a different person. He looked not like the person he used to know, but like a well-groomed model that one would watch from a distance.

He looked both masculine and sharp. A sense of tension arose reflexively, as if he were meeting a stranger.

“……”

Jaeon, finally tearing his blatant gaze away, lowered his head and held his breath. He thought that this might be an opportunity. He thought that it might be a miraculous opportunity given by heaven, just like before, and as he thought that, his heart suddenly began to race. He felt the urge to strike up a conversation as soon as possible.

After repeatedly making up his mind, Jaeon left the checkout counter. With a tense face, he cautiously approached Inha, who was picking out items, while watching his expression. Inha, who had been looking at the items with a blank face, turned his head as if he had sensed his presence.

As their eyes met, Jaeon opened his mouth without even a moment to moisten his throat.

“Excuse me……”

As soon as he opened his mouth, the sound of a tinkle from a ringing bell buried Jaeon’s voice.

“What is it?”

The customer who opened the door and came in looked Jaeon up and down. He looked back and forth between Jaeon and Inha with a bewildered expression.

“Oh, welcome.”

The flustered Jaeon bowed his head in greeting and hurried back to the checkout counter.

“What was that, just now?”

The person who came in asked Inha at the same time as he scanned Jaeon up and down. “I don’t know.” Inha’s low reply followed.

“……”

Jaeon’s gaze, which had been frozen and unmoving, cautiously turned toward the two a little later. The person who was stuck close to Inha’s side was, as expected, an Omega man who could be recognized at a single glance. The characteristics of the sub-gender were strongly revealed in his appearance and atmosphere, to the point where there could be no confusion.

His gaze soon fell to their interlocked arms. He realized what kind of relationship the two of them had from that.

“You’re sleeping over tonight, right?”

“I have to.”

“You know I can’t sleep without you. From now on, you have to put me to sleep every day.”

The conversation between the two echoed inside the convenience store. Although music was playing inside the convenience store, in a space that was not large, the sound of the conversation could not be helped but be heard even if he did not want to.

Every time the private content penetrated his ears, every time the sound of the two laughing and playing around penetrated his ears, Jaeon’s eyes wavered, with nowhere to go.

Why had he not anticipated such a situation earlier?

‘Don’t waste your time on me, and meet someone you want in this time. Go be obsessed with that person!’

He remembered screaming at him to meet anyone and change the target of his obsession. Having said that, now that Inha actually brought a person he was dating, he could not be more pathetic for being shocked.

What was most shocking was the delusion he had harbored until just before. At first, he had denied it, saying it was not true, but at some point, he had come to believe Seongju’s words at face value.

Could Inha have liked him too? Could he have really done those things because he liked him? Even if it was not a first love, could it not have been something similar? He was genuinely ashamed of having judged Inha’s feelings for his own convenience, even for a moment.

The only fortunate thing was that it was before he sent the message. It was a relief that everything ended after he realized it was all a delusion, even before he could ask to meet.

He just had to accept the bizarre obsession as just some unknowable anger, an incomprehensible whim. Thinking of it that way made much more sense than defining it as love.

“Ah, let’s buy this too. Should we buy some alcohol too?”

“Sure.”

“I want to see you drunk.”

“There’s nothing particularly interesting about it.”

At the words that continued to be heard like torture, Jaeon wanted to block his ears. He quietly clenched the hand that kept trying to rise to his ears under the checkout counter.

He felt a nauseous feeling as his body grew cold from his fingertips. He also felt a feverish heat, enough to make his face feel hot. If there was one thing he wished for, it was for those two to leave the convenience store before they came to the checkout counter. But he knew that was absolutely impossible, so he just held his breath.

He remembered experiencing a similar situation before. Back then, too, Inha had stopped by with the person he was dating and showed a tender side. He knew it was not intentional back then, but now, for some reason, he came to doubt Inha’s inner thoughts. It seemed like he had deliberately brought his lover to show him off. It seemed like he had come to let him know that he was no longer obsessed with him.

He massaged his two hands, which had grown cold. He wanted to return to a normal state before the two of them came. As if to mock such efforts, the sound of laughter from Inha’s side did not cease.

“……”

Soon, the two of them approached Jaeon’s front. They put down a cart full of items.

“Ah!”

The man who had let out a sound turned around. The man, who muttered that he had forgotten something important, soon added two boxes of condoms to the cart.

“The largest size is yours.”

At the man’s words, Inha took out his wallet and replied.

“The ones they sell in places like this don’t fit.”

“Whoa…… really? Then I’ll just buy mine. I have to protect your bed.”

The man, who took one condom out of the cart, immediately hugged Inha from behind.

“……”

At the conversation that blatantly advertised what would happen later, Jaeon could not move while holding the barcode scanner. It was natural for people in a relationship to have a physical relationship. But hearing about it so directly was a shock of another dimension.

“Why aren’t you ringing it up?”

The man, who had only peeked his face out from behind Inha’s back, asked. Jaeon, who had been looking down at the cart, snapped to his senses and took out the items. Beep, beep, the sound of scanning one by one echoed between the three people.

“……It’s 52,000 won.”

While the transaction was being processed, Jaeon could not tell what kind of expression he was making. He could not even tell what he was looking at, even with his eyes open.

“Let’s go quickly.”

It was after Inha finished paying. The man said it cutely, leading Inha’s arm. As Inha lifted the heavy bag with one hand, the man naturally clung to Inha’s opposite arm.

He tried not to, but his gaze turned to the two who had turned away. His eyes were fixed on the sight of the man’s hand slipping into Inha’s and intertwining as one.

Tinkle.

Just like when they came in, a cheerful sound rang out. The two who went out of the convenience store got into Inha’s parked car.