DS 37

‘If I had known it would be like this… I would have just bought and eaten that steamed bun back then.’ The  supermarket owner’s sympathetic eyes flashes before his mind.

Eun-myeong couldn’t bear it when people paid attention to him. Most people ignored him and pretended not to see him, but occasionally there were those who would give him looks of pity.

“Hey, aren’t you pretty.”

Sometimes college student volunteers would come to the orphanage. When they tried to speak to him, he, Eun-myeong would become so embarrassed that he’d quickly hide behind a wall. In truth, he would peek his face out through the window, watching those older brothers and Noonas play with the other children.

He wanted to go join them, to slip his hand into theirs… but he couldn’t find the courage. The orphanage director had always taught him that if you’re born with nothing, you shouldn’t be greedy.

Eun-myeong was especially  scolded for his appetite. Whenever delicious treats were donated to the orphanage, Eun-myeong couldn’t help but stare at them as saliva pooled in his mouth.

Even though that was all he could do to express his desire, the director would hit the back of his head hard, saying he couldn’t stand seeing an orphan brat being so greedy.

“A child without parents shouldn’t learn  greed.”

That’s how he would scold him.

‘Still, that steamed bun from the supermarket owner… I should have eaten at least one. And thanked him properly. Should have bought him some orange juice at least. That would have been enough.’ Eun-myeong rubbed his eyes with his fist. The lighter clutched in his hand scratched his cheek.

At the end of his drifting thoughts, Eun-myeong was anchored to the thought of what would happen if the Boss suspected he had run away.

‘The Boss….’

He truly was a frightening person. Anyone who had seen him even once would nod in agreement.

It wasn’t just his appearance and demeanor, it was  precisely because he was a real gangster who did things ordinary people couldn’t even imagine that made people shiver. There were probably many things he did that Eun-myeong didn’t know about.

While he was definitely a bad person, Eun-myeong didn’t consider him to be entirely bad since he owed him. Nevertheless, if it weren’t for the Boss, Eun-myeong would never have known any of the good things, the delicious things in this world.

‘I should have properly thanked him at least once. Even though I was scared, even though he frightened me, I should have honestly said I was grateful…’

Eun-myeong curled himself up again. The loneliness had lasted too long that it broke him. He needed warmth so desperately.

When he pulled the wheel of the lighter, a small flame rose up like a dying spark in its final moments. It seemed to be burning the last of its gas. Eun-myeong left words to it like a wish. Very desperately.

‘Please, someone, anyone, open that door and come to me…. save me… ’

Despite his desperate prayer, everything remained silent. Eun-myeong sank into familiar defeat. A self-mocking smile crossed his lips.

That’s when it happened. The  ship lurched forward. The rolling waves seemed to slightly shake his clouded consciousness.

 After repeatedly getting his hopes crushed, it made him doubt the so-called new hope. While thinking dejectedly that it might just be another strong wind, he heard movement above. The sound of leather shoes stepping, thud thud.

“He-here….”

He hadn’t misheard. Eun-myeong’s half-closed eyes flew open.

“Over here!!”

He screamed with his last strength after confirming that there was someone here. Soon, a bang rang out. It sounded like something being hammered right above his head, and the darkness pressing down on him finally began to recede.

Eun-myeong’s face was bathed in light. As if someone had really heard the wish he’d made to the lighter flame.

“…..”

But it wasn’t the light of clear day, not the kind of crisp, pleasant sunlight that would dry laundry well.

A gloomy, pale moonlight poured down over Eun-myeong’s face. And backlit against it, stood a large man. He lowered his thick arms toward Eun-myeong.

“Come to me.”

As always, the command was short and gruff. A voice completely devoid of warmth, cold to the bone.

Yet, Eun-myeong couldn’t resist at all. His body moved without him realizing. Though his forearms ached from climbing the ladder, it didn’t matter to him at all.

To quickly escape this darkness, to touch another person’s warmth. Eun-myeong voluntarily stretched out his arms. He wrapped his arms around the man’s neck. 

The man’s large hands firmly gripped beneath Eun-myeong’s armpits. Swoosh, Eun-myeong was pulled up. He lifted him up effortlessly. 

In an instant, Eun-myeong’s chest pressed against the man. Warm heat touched his chilled skin. The raindrops fell one by one in the background. The rainfall had apparently thinned considerably by now.

Eun-myeong’s lips parted slightly at the floating sensation. He could see the night sea receding over the man’s shoulder.

“I thought… it was a dream.”

‘I really thought I was dreaming.’

They say people see visions when they fall into the deep, deep sea. In the dark, pitch-black underwater cave. So lonely and scared that maybe it was just a dream. That’s what Eun-myeong thought.

Just like himself mere moments ago. He had wanted someone so badly, for someone to come make him not scared anymore, not lonely anymore in this darkness, that he mistook it for an illusion.

“…It wasn’t a dream.”

Relief flooded his chest. Eun-myeong quickly burrowed into the human warmth. His chest heaved greatly. Hiccup, sob, sniff… The sounds burst out sharply. Eun-myeong crossed the beach while being held by the man.

The man’s car was roughly parked at the beach. Mr.Bear got out from the driver’s seat and opened the back door. The man got in as if it was only natural.

“You look like a filthy dog.”

The man clicked his tongue. Eun-myeong was truly a mess. He looked like an abandoned dog picked up from who-knows-where. His hair was disheveled and his clothes were covered in mud.

“Hm? You dirty thing.”

The man slowly withdrew his arm from around Eun-myeong’s waist. As soon as he pulled back, Eun-myeong’s eyes grew wide.

“Why…”

With a hurt expression asking why he was being pushed away, he quickly snuggled back. He rubbed his dirty cheek against the man’s chest.

“I thought it was a dream, I thought no one was coming…”

Tear stains soaked into the black shirt. The man’s chest became so wet that the fabric clung to his skin. The designer shirt worth five hundred dollars per piece was now being used like a rag.

‘Look at this.’ The man tilted his head. A strange light crossed his normally emotionless black eyes. Like a viscous swamp, a peculiar pleasure slowly rose and rippled in his eyes.

‘Hmm.’

Though filthy as a dog…. It was more pleasing than expected.

“Didn’t I tell you not to whine like a baby?”

The man took off his jacket with one hand and draped it over Eun-myeong. Supporting under his bottom, he lifted him up and got out of the car. The body against him was burning hot. His round shoulders were trembling and his molars were chattering. The man walked into the hotel with swaying steps.

“Call a doctor.”

After instructing Bear, when he tried to lay the body in his arms on the bed, Eun-myeong frantically clung to him, as if all of it would disappear in an instant if he let go.

“N-no, no.”

The man just rolled his eyes down to look at the young thing before him. The white face was flushed red as if it would bleed at touch, and reddish fever flowers bloomed like burn marks on his neck.

“Where are you going?”

Though the question was docile, there was something forlorn about it. His face was full of fear, like that of being abandoned like this. Usually, he couldn’t even meet his eyes properly. He was someone who would count his rice grains at meals, afraid of choking.

He seemed completely unable to think straight. It was because he’d been stuck in a dark, cold, narrow place for nearly two days.

“N-no, don’t go.”

Eun-myeong buried his nose in the man’s jacket. Snot ran down and pooled in his narrow philtrum. He still looked absolutely filthy.

Though the man was unusually fastidious, he just looked down at Eun-myeong. Instead, a sinister smile pooled at the corners of his mouth.

To act like such a lost calf without its mother. It was the weakest part of the weak, manifested unconsciously. The man felt an exquisite pleasure in invoking that. His mind flashed like lightning at the stimulation close to ecstasy.

He wanted to examine this small puppy more, and see what else was contained inside that tiny heart of his. It was purely out of his own interest. It would surely bring him definite pleasure.

The man fabricated a voice pretending to be thoroughly gentle.

“Were you scared?”