EAR Ch 23

Even during break time, the other students glanced at Seungpyo, who remained seated, solving problems in his workbook.

Absorbed in his work, Seungpyo didn’t notice their gazes for a while. Only after checking his answers and stretching did he sense the attention. He frowned slightly and looked around.

“What?”

A boy sitting in front of him, playing a mobile game, replied,

“Nothing, just thinking you’re starting to prepare for finals early this time too.”

“Less than a month left, it’s not early. I started earlier for the midterms.”

“True. If it weren’t for English, you could’ve taken first place last time.”

Compared to the midterms, where he’d burned with passion even before the spring flowers bloomed, his motivation for the finals was delayed as much as the bet was. He had always wanted to crush Ryu Jaemin and take first place, but having a carrot dangling in front of him made a big difference in his motivation.

It had been about ten days since he had started another bet with Ryu Jaemin on their exam rankings. There were about ten days left until the finals, which were scheduled a little earlier than expected. Seungpyo, deprived of even his usual outlet of kissing, was more serious than ever.

“That too, and you’ve been staying in the classroom even during breaks lately.”

“When was I not in the classroom?”

“You’ve been leaving every break time lately.”

It wasn’t an empty remark. These were the kids who liked to gather around Oh Seungpyo’s desk and chat. It was hard for them not to notice that he’d been leaving his seat unusually often since around the time of the field trip.

He wasn’t the type to stick to his desk and study diligently, but for the past month or so, the frequency had been noticeably higher. It wasn’t like he was often seen on the playground either.

Another boy clattered over to Seungpyo’s desk, chair in hand, and sat down.

“We thought you got a girlfriend. We thought you were hiding somewhere and talking on the phone every break time.”

“You all came up with all sorts of ideas without even asking me?”

It was a wrong, but not entirely inaccurate, guess. Seungpyo hid his flustered heart and changed the subject with a nonchalant expression.

“Is it fun? What game are you playing?”

He spoke to the boy who was busy tapping on his phone screen, even during the conversation. But today, the other students didn’t seem willing to let it go easily.

“You don’t play mobile games. It’s even more suspicious that you’re suddenly pretending to be interested. Be honest, did you get a girlfriend and break up? That’s why you kept disappearing every break time and suddenly you’re only studying.”

“I didn’t even get one, so how could I have broken up? Do you think I live that carelessly? I’m not getting a girlfriend until I decide on a college.”

“Then what were you doing during break times?”

Seungpyo unconsciously glanced at Ryu Jaemin’s seat before quickly returning his gaze.

“I went out for some fresh air because it was stuffy in the classroom. It’s hot these days.”

“But isn’t the classroom cooler?”

“They keep turning the AC on and off.”

If he had gone out to kiss like usual, he might have been misunderstood as having a girlfriend, but he wouldn’t have been subjected to this interrogation. Because Ryu Jaemin had forbidden kissing until the finals, he was hearing unnecessary things. It was all Ryu Jaemin’s fault.

The careless chatter of the boys was noisy. Ryu Jaemin would hear everything they were saying. Would Ryu Jaemin’s heart be pounding as much as his? Just as he was thinking that he couldn’t tell from his back, which wasn’t even turned towards him…

Ryu Jaemin quietly pushed his chair back, got up, and walked towards the back door with an expressionless face, disappearing from sight.

It seemed he was uncomfortable listening to Oh Seungpyo and the other boys chatting. As Jaemin disappeared from the classroom, Seungpyo felt a sense of relief and let out a short sigh. The boys, having seized a rare opportunity, continued to talk about the nonexistent girlfriend before turning their arrows back to Seungpyo.

“I understand. You wouldn’t want to talk about it if you got dumped.”

“I didn’t get dumped.”

“Then did you dump her?”

“Are you interrogating me now?”

“If you keep rejecting girls because you’re popular, what are you going to do if you can’t date them later when you want to?”

“Don’t you know I can get a girlfriend anytime I want?”

At Oh Seungpyo’s suddenly arrogant remark, even the boy teasing him couldn’t retort. As the interrogation about his secret relationship died down, another boy asked,

“Oh, right. Did you and Ryu Jaemin fight?”

This time, he was truly surprised.

His heart pounded at the sudden question that followed the talk about his girlfriend. Carefully calming his trembling heart, Seungpyo deliberately frowned even more.

“Why are you suddenly bringing up Ryu Jaemin?”

“I thought you and Ryu Jaemin became close, but lately you don’t seem to talk to each other.”

“We weren’t close to begin with.”

“You two kept sticking together at Neverland. You even sat together on the bus.”

“Don’t you remember? Ryu Jaemin and I didn’t want to go on the Water Splash or the extreme rides, but you guys wanted to, so we split up. If I hadn’t been with Ryu Jaemin, would you guys have skipped the extreme rides and gone to see the pandas with me?”

That was true. They couldn’t go all the way there and not go on those two rides. The boy who asked about Jaemin didn’t seem too interested in their relationship, just nodding his head.

In the classroom, the two deliberately avoided unnecessary conversations. They didn’t want to attract unwanted attention or misunderstandings.

Even during art or PE classes, when they had to pair up, Seungpyo always sought out other friends first. Ryu Jaemin also had his own group of friends, so, similarly, he only interacted with others at school.

He had smoothly told Ryu Jaemin’s mother that they were working on a project together, that they were friends, that they were very close, but in fact, they had never been in the same group for a project.

They hadn’t done anything to appear particularly close in other people’s eyes, but it seemed that briefly sticking together at the amusement park a month ago made them look close. This was why they had to be careful. After all, both he and Ryu Jaemin were relatively well-known at school, so even just talking a few times near each other left a strong impression on onlookers.

“We just hung out together for a short time then. We haven’t really talked at school.”

“I thought maybe top students like you two had something in common. But then again, Ryu Jaemin is too much of a model student, so I guess you wouldn’t really get along.”

“That’s what I’m saying. How can we have anything in common if our personalities are different?”

As he grumbled in a low voice, Ryu Jaemin’s cold words, which had been bothering him for a while, suddenly flashed through his mind. Seungpyo’s expression turned sullen.

“He’s not even my friend.”

After blurting it out, he felt embarrassed, realizing how cheesy it sounded.

The other boys, who had been questioning their relationship, blinked blankly. One of them rebuked Seungpyo.

“Why are you being so harsh?”

“I’m just answering your question. We’re not close.”

“You could’ve just said you’re not close. He’s still your classmate. Seungpyo, you’ve become mean this year. You keep refusing to play games, and you’re so cold to us because you’re studying.”

“At this point, you guys must have fought, right?”

Seungpyo was speechless at the boys’ complaints and suspicions. He pretended to be tired and got up to escape the situation.

“I misspoke. Maybe it’s the heat. I’m going out for a bit.”

He stood up resolutely as if he was about to leave the classroom, but he stopped dead in his tracks.

Ryu Jaemin, who had returned to the classroom, was standing near the back door, blankly staring at Oh Seungpyo with a straw in his chocolate milk carton.

Shit. Seungpyo froze, momentarily flustered. Did he hear? He had lowered his voice while talking about Ryu Jaemin, so there was a chance he didn’t hear. Although, Oh Seungpyo’s seat wasn’t that far from the back door of the classroom….

Jaemin took a sip through his straw and then walked back to his seat without a word, just as he had when he entered. Seungpyo also left the classroom through the same door Jaemin had come in, as if nothing had happened, and chewed on his lip.

It had been more than a month since he imagined where and what he would do with Ryu Jaemin at the amusement park, and how much fun and happy they would be.

‘We’re not friends.’

It was Ryu Jaemin who had drawn the line first, saying they weren’t friends. That they were just studying for the college entrance exams together, nothing more. He had agreed with Jaemin’s words, but he wasn’t sure if it was something to be this flustered about just because of a slip of the tongue.

He might have gone a little too far saying that to the other boys, not Ryu Jaemin himself, but he had a valid reason, didn’t he? He’d just been trying to strongly deny it, in case the boys misunderstood their relationship as more than it was, and his words had come out wrong.

…No. Even so, saying that in front of others was embarrassing. He wasn’t a child whining behind someone’s back.

Seungpyo, pacing the hallway after failing to rationalize his actions, finally started making excuses through his phone’s messenger app.

Hey

I said that because the guys were saying we seemed close.

I thought it was better not to give them any room for misunderstanding.

He didn’t add an apology. If Jaemin hadn’t heard, it might make things awkward.

But he had a feeling. Ryu Jaemin definitely heard him. There was no reason for him to be standing there blankly, staring at him, otherwise.

The reply didn’t come immediately. At home, Jaemin sometimes said his parents were strict and it was difficult to check his phone, so he’d reply the next day. But it was different at school. Having grasped Jaemin’s personality to some extent, Seungpyo could sense that he was hesitating over how to respond. It meant he had heard him.

After a few minutes, messages from the other side finally popped up on the screen, one after another.

Don’t worry about it.

I was just a little flustered because you were talking about me with other guys.

You’re right.

Good job.

If it was noticeable to them, we should be more careful from now on.

Anyway, there won’t be anything noticeable for a while, so it’s rather good.

It was a clean conclusion. He even got praised.

Seungpyo stared blankly at the screen filled with messages and then ended the conversation, leaving only a simple “Okay.”

📚

With the change of seasons, showers became more frequent. It started drizzling about 20 minutes before the last class ended, and by the time school was over, the rain had become quite heavy. The students who had been waiting for it to stop started grumbling.

“If it’s going to rain, it should have rained earlier. Why is it raining now when we’re about to leave?”

“Do you have an umbrella?”

“Oh, Mom. You’re coming to pick me up?”

The classroom, filled with the noisy chatter of the students, was like a marketplace.

He doubted there was even one student in here who carried an umbrella in preparation for unpredictable rain. Seungpyo, also without an umbrella, stared blankly out the window. He could handle walking home in the rain if it was near his neighborhood, but the probability of his busy brother bringing an umbrella all the way to school for him was zero.

It seemed like he had no choice but to run to the convenience store and buy an umbrella. He would get a little wet, but they usually turned up the AC when it was humid, so his clothes would dry quickly once he got indoors.

“Ryu Jaemin, do you have an umbrella?”

“No, do you?”

“Of course I…don’t.”

Jaemin’s conversation with his friends reached Seungpyo. It seemed none of the boys Jaemin hung out with had an umbrella either. Ryu Jaemin wouldn’t care about the rain anyway, as he had a chauffeur who picked him up in a Benz every day.

The boy Jaemin was talking to seemed to recall the pickup car and added,

“What are you going to do? Even if you’re taking the car, you have to use an umbrella to get to the school gate.”

“That’s not the problem. My driver had something come up, so I have to take the bus today.”

Jaemin grumbled discontentedly. At his words, Seungpyo’s shoulders flinched reflexively.

“Let’s wait a little longer. We still have time before academy. It might stop.”

Just as Jaemin finished speaking, their homeroom teacher entered the classroom for the closing announcements. The noisy students scrambled back to their seats.

The teacher, also looking troubled by the sudden downpour, looked out the window and announced,

“It’s raining heavily all of a sudden. It seems the convenience store in front of the school is out of umbrellas. So don’t run to the convenience store and get hurt.”

“Oh, really?”

Numerous students in the classroom, who had been planning to buy umbrellas from the convenience store, groaned in disappointment. The teacher nodded.

“I checked with the convenience store from the teachers’ office. It might just be a shower, so let’s wait and see. Be careful going home. That’s all for today.”

“Thank you.”

With a half-hearted expression of gratitude, the students rose in a flurry. Seungpyo also quickly got up and headed out the door. The first person he approached was his homeroom teacher, who had just finished the announcements.

“Sir.”

“Yes?”

“Do you have a spare umbrella?”

“Oh, I’d lend you one if I had one, but I don’t.”

In his experience, many teachers kept umbrellas in the trunks of their cars or had spare umbrellas in the teachers’ office. Seungpyo bowed and ran to the teachers’ office.

“Sir, do you have any spare umbrellas?”

“You’re too late. I promised to lend one to the Korean teacher because he didn’t have one either.”

“Thank you.”

Oh Seungpyo, the second-highest ranking student who was good at studying, sports, and socializing, always got along well with the teachers. He casually went in and out of the teachers’ office whenever he needed something, a place most students avoided if possible.

“Oh Seungpyo, are you looking for an umbrella? I have one, I’ll lend it to you.”

His efforts to go around asking for an umbrella paid off. A teacher sitting on the other side held up a small folding umbrella. Seungpyo’s face brightened as he ran over. The teacher lightly scolded him,

“What’s the point of running in the teachers’ office?”

“Sir, thank you so much. I’ll buy you coffee later.”

“Do I look like I’d take coffee from you? Just make sure to return it tomorrow. But I don’t know if this is big enough for you.”

“It’s plenty. Thank you!”

Despite just being told not to run, Seungpyo hurried out of the teachers’ office. He ran down the hallway, up the stairs, and quickly returned. Instead of entering the classroom directly, he looked inside through the window facing the hallway.

Because he had found an umbrella faster than expected, the classroom was still bustling. The students, having accepted that there was no way to avoid the rain, were leaving one by one.

Jaemin, also seemingly having given up on waiting for the rain to pass, was getting ready to leave with his backpack on. Seungpyo hurriedly typed a message on his phone. He was about to tell Jaemin to meet him near the library to get the umbrella so they wouldn’t attract attention, when he heard Jaemin’s voice right next to him.

“It’s a good thing you have an umbrella.”

“I don’t even remember when I put it in my locker. This is why it’s good to be forgetful sometimes.”

“I’ll buy you something delicious later since you shared your umbrella with me.”

Jaemin, with his backpack on, was leaving the classroom. He was with the same boy he’d been talking to earlier about not having an umbrella. The boy was holding a slightly dusty black umbrella.

Seungpyo, standing outside the classroom, and Jaemin, just exiting, briefly made eye contact. That was all. As always in front of others, they just glanced at each other without a word of farewell, and Jaemin turned away, pretending not to have seen Seungpyo, walking shoulder to shoulder with his friend.

“Seungpyo brought an umbrella?”

“Wow, as expected. Where did you get it?”

The hallway was busier than usual because of the rain. Seungpyo, standing still amidst the crowd, was quickly caught on the students’ radar. His friends greeted his umbrella enthusiastically.

“Can we share this with you? Let’s at least cover our heads.”

Seungpyo readily extended his hand.

“You two use it. I’m fine.”

“Why? Three people can fit under it if we squeeze.”

The boys asked, puzzled, as they received the umbrella. Seungpyo shook his head.

“It’s just rainwater. I can wash up later.”

“Seungpyo…did you bring this for us?”

“Dude, I take back what I said about you becoming mean. There’s no one like you.”

The boys looked up at Seungpyo with touched expressions. He hadn’t specifically rushed to get the umbrella for them, but since it turned out that way, Seungpyo simply accepted their grateful gazes without further explanation.

They left the school gate together. The rain showed no signs of stopping. The small folding umbrella was cramped for two growing boys, but they didn’t complain, walking across the playground with their heads huddled together as if they were having fun. Seungpyo followed them leisurely, letting himself get wet, his expression indifferent to the rain.

As they walked, he saw Jaemin and his friend who had left the classroom earlier. Jaemin’s shoulder, under the small umbrella that was no bigger than the one Seungpyo had borrowed, was inevitably getting soaked. Seungpyo walked, staring intently at that shoulder.

Swoosh. The deafening sound of rain, the puddles rippling with mesmerizing concentric circles. Seungpyo’s thoughts flowed unimpeded like leaves carried away by the rainwater.

I was going to give you the umbrella I borrowed. It’s too small for two people to share.

I don’t care since I can just deal with it, but you always wear nicely ironed shirts that smell good, so I thought you shouldn’t get them wet.

Oh Seungpyo reflected on what he had been so pleased about just moments ago. He hadn’t been trying to kiss him or touch him. He had simply reacted like Pavlov’s dog to the mention of Ryu Jaemin getting rained on and gone all the way to the teachers’ office, bowing his head to the teachers to borrow an umbrella, even though no one had asked or told him to.

He wasn’t without ulterior motives. He was concerned about what he had said earlier in the day and wanted to talk to Jaemin again while giving him the umbrella. Talking face-to-face was different from talking through messages.

He wanted to clear up any lingering awkwardness and call him to the library, suggesting they kiss just once before going to the academy, even though they were preparing for the finals. Since he had even borrowed an umbrella for Ryu Jaemin, he thought Jaemin would agree just this once.

“Oh.”

The boy walking with Jaemin made a surprised sound. He had dropped something while rummaging through his bag under the umbrella. A coin, which had fallen out of his improperly fastened front pocket, rolled and landed on the wet ground.

“Ryu Jaemin, wait a second.”

The boy, flustered, handed the umbrella to Jaemin and tried to pick up the coin. But Seungpyo, who was walking behind them, was faster. He bent down and picked up the coin, then held out his hand.

“Here.”

“Oh, Oh Seungpyo. Thanks.”

While the boy who had dropped the coin hurried over to Seungpyo and received it, Jaemin also turned and watched them. Their eyes met again.

The other students nearby, the setting of the school, and the pouring rain surrounded them, preventing any words from being exchanged, but Jaemin’s eyes held a silent reproach: Why are you letting yourself get completely drenched?

“See you.”

The boy who had received the coin said goodbye and returned to Ryu Jaemin’s side. Seungpyo followed behind the two as they started walking again. They were headed to the same academy anyway.

With the rain, many students flocked to the bus at once, and Seungpyo lost sight of Jaemin around the bus stop. Since buses going to the same destination arrived one after another, Jaemin probably headed to the academy before him.

As he got off the bus, soaked, a message arrived on his phone. It was through the private messenger app he used with only one person.

Don’t come in right away when you get to the academy. Come to the 5th-floor emergency exit.

It was a sudden summons from Ryu Jaemin.

What was this about? Seungpyo tilted his head. At the academy, they acted even more indifferent to each other than at school. The academy building didn’t offer many hiding spots, so they’d barely even talked, let alone kissed, there.

But today, Seungpyo was too tired, for various reasons, to think deeply about anything. Without replying, he got on the elevator and headed straight to the 5th floor. The 5th floor wasn’t part of the academy; it was office space for another company, so the instructors forbade the students from going up there.

As he opened the emergency exit door, a cold, musty dampness washed over him. The office workers had all gone home, so the deserted stairwell was dimly lit only by the pale emergency lights. Ryu Jaemin was leaning against the railing, looking at his phone. He looked up as Seungpyo approached.

“Why did you call me?”

Seungpyo asked, brushing his wet hair back as he walked towards him. It was the first word he had directly spoken to Ryu Jaemin today.

Instead of answering, Jaemin rummaged through his bag and pulled something out. Seungpyo looked down at the object in Jaemin’s hand.

It was a new towel, as if he had just bought it. Jaemin explained casually,

“I figured you’d just go straight into the academy like that, so I called you to dry off a bit. They had them at the convenience store nearby. Weren’t those guys you were with your friends? Why didn’t you share their umbrella? Why did you get completely soaked alone?”

“…The academy’s air conditioning is good, so I’ll dry off once I get in.”

“Hey, even if it’s summer, you’ll catch a cold.”

Jaemin chuckled as he finished speaking. Seungpyo stared at his face.

It had been a while since he had seen Ryu Jaemin’s smiling face up close, since they had been ignoring each other at school after making the bet.

“Imagine catching a cold before the finals. You’d keep saying you would have won if you hadn’t caught a cold. I can’t stand the thought of it.”

Seungpyo didn’t take the towel.

None of the kids he saw every day at school were meticulous enough to carry an umbrella for rainy days. None of them would think to buy a towel to dry a rained-on classmate. He hadn’t even known they sold towels at convenience stores. He, and all the other kids who had been worried about braving the monsoon rain today, probably hadn’t known either.

Was this also a kindness he could offer because he was meticulously cared for by his parents and housekeeper? He didn’t know. Seungpyo belatedly took the fluffy new towel and said,

“You dry yourself.”

“I didn’t get rained on.”

“Your shoulder is wet.”

Jaemin looked at his left shoulder. The emergency lights barely illuminated their surroundings, so unless someone was completely soaked like Oh Seungpyo, the wet parts weren’t very noticeable.

Seungpyo pressed the towel against Jaemin’s damp shoulder. Jaemin, looking embarrassed as he stared at his slightly damp sleeve, pushed Seungpyo’s hand away.

“This will dry quickly with the AC. Stop it and use it yourself.”

Then, Seungpyo blurted out, in a tone similar to when he had asked him to have sex,

“Dry me too.”

“Huh?”

“I’m tired today.”

Jaemin hesitated, looking bewildered, but didn’t refuse and took the towel from Seungpyo. The fluffy new towel was now slightly damp from drying Jaemin’s shoulder.

Jaemin’s Adam’s apple bobbed slightly, as if he had gulped. After a brief moment of hesitation, he finally slowly raised his arm and wrapped the towel around Seungpyo’s wet hair, covering his face.

Then he started rubbing his hair. He was trying his best, but his clumsy movements made it obvious that he had never dried anyone’s hair before.

Seungpyo had never dried anyone’s rain-soaked hair either. But he had owned a dog when he was younger and had often bathed Bomi, who had lived in the yard of his grandmother’s house, so he thought he could do a better job than this. Wouldn’t the technique for drying human hair and dog fur be similar?

Still, it felt good. If this was what it felt like to be cared for, he wouldn’t mind experiencing it a few more times. Seungpyo closed his eyes, feeling drowsy.

Pit-a-pat, pit-a-pat. Like drifting off while listening to the sound of rain, the rustling of the towel against his ear now made Seungpyo feel languid. Seungpyo, who had been standing blankly, felt like he was about to fall asleep standing up, so he suddenly opened his eyes.

Pit-a-pat…

The diligently drying hand also stopped at the same time.

While focused on drying his hair, Jaemin had come very close to Seungpyo. His expression stiffened awkwardly, as if flustered by the sudden eye contact at such close range.

But perhaps because Seungpyo’s gaze was fixed on him, Jaemin didn’t avoid his eyes and met his stare.

During the brief silence, Seungpyo reached out and grabbed Jaemin’s waist. Jaemin’s shoulders flinched slightly, but he didn’t push Seungpyo away or ask what he was doing.

Just by slightly lowering his head, their lips easily met. Jaemin’s closed lips trembled slightly. Their slightly quickened breaths warmed each other’s cheeks.

The sound of their lips brushing against each other was faint, but Jaemin’s tightly closed lips parted surprisingly easily. As Seungpyo’s tongue slipped inside, his shoulders, and even his waist, flinched more noticeably than before.

“Eut, huh…!”

Jaemin’s voice, about to escape, was swallowed with difficulty, then grew louder again at the sensation of Seungpyo’s tongue gently scraping against the back of his teeth.

“Hey…”

Seungpyo, after exploring his mouth, spoke, his voice laced with ragged breaths.

“You said it was forbidden. Why aren’t you telling me to stop?”

Jaemin also replied, panting slightly,

“You didn’t ask.”

As soon as he finished speaking, Seungpyo pressed his lips against his again, harder this time. As he pushed his tongue deeper, Jaemin shuddered briefly. Mmm, ung. With his mouth blocked, a nasal moan, mixed with a whimper, escaped him, louder than he intended.

Seungpyo’s hand, which had been around his waist, had crept up his body and was now cupping Jaemin’s cheeks. Jaemin’s arms were also around Seungpyo’s shoulders.

Was it because it had been a while due to that damned bet? Even though they were just kissing, something they did every day, Jaemin was trembling as if it was the first time Seungpyo had touched his dick. Feeling the tremors within his embrace, Oh Seungpyo thought he was going to die. He barely managed to suppress the surging impulse within him by almost biting his own tongue and blamed Jaemin.

“You’re this turned on…how do you even hold back?”

Jaemin’s voice was also heavy with breathlessness.

“If you just don’t touch me, I can…”

“Fuck, you react like this when I touch you, how do you even go to school, how do you even go outside?”

It was a good thing Ryu Jaemin was a smart and perceptive guy who lacked nothing. If he were just a little more careless, a little more oblivious, a little more lonely, a little more kind…he might have believed the damn perverts who whispered sweet nothings to him online.

Ryu Jaemin often annoyed him because he always won the bet, always ranked first, was too clever, arrogant, and ill-tempered. But Seungpyo was relieved that Ryu Jaemin was that kind of person.

Seungpyo delved deeper into Jaemin’s mouth as if he was angry. He rubbed against the hot mucous membranes, sucked on his soft tongue, and licked every corner of his teeth.

“Huh, mmn, mm.”

Jaemin’s body repeatedly tensed and relaxed in surprise at the stimulation. He endured Seungpyo’s kiss without turning his face away. Only after Seungpyo pulled away did he lower his head and wipe his damp lips with the back of his hand.

The damp and chilly emergency exit stairwell felt as if it had become completely heated. Jaemin shook his head as if trying to shake off his dazed feeling, took a long breath, and lifted his face.

“I let you do it today because you said you were tired. No more.”

“You’re so full of it. You were into it too.”

“Shut up.”

Jaemin cut him off and straightened his clothes. He slung his bag over his shoulder, looked Seungpyo up and down, and said,

“It’s no use drying your clothes.”

“I have a fresh t-shirt. I also brought gym pants. I’m going to change.”

His hair was mostly dry now. Once he dried the rest of his body and changed his clothes, he would be able to attend a few hours of classes relatively comfortably. It wouldn’t be the same as being completely dry, but Seungpyo wasn’t very sensitive to discomfort in the first place.

“Then hurry up and change and come to class. I’m going down first.”

Jaemin’s face was as serene as if the passionate kiss they had just shared was a dream. As he turned and reached for the emergency exit door handle, Seungpyo spoke,

“I have something to tell you.”

Jaemin, who was about to step outside, turned his head and blinked.

“What?”

“I’m going to think about it a little more and tell you tomorrow. Come out for a bit if I call you.”

“I let you off the hook today, but no more. Hold it in until the finals.”

Jaemin scoffed, as if Seungpyo was trying to pull a fast one. But Seungpyo didn’t smile.

“I’m serious.”

Half curiosity about what Seungpyo wanted to say, half disbelief that he was probably trying to trick him into coming out just to kiss again. Jaemin looked at Seungpyo for a moment with a mixed expression before turning and disappearing behind the door without another word.

Seungpyo trudged to the bathroom and changed his clothes. He had to mentally recite the national anthem a few times because his lower body was reacting to the thrill of the kiss after such a long time. He looked more like a student on a school trip or retreat than at the academy in his t-shirt and gym pants.

He draped the damp towel over his shoulder and went into the classroom. Because of the sudden downpour, there were a few other students in gym clothes besides Seungpyo.

Ryu Jaemin was already sitting at his desk, looking at his textbook. Seungpyo found an empty seat and put down his bag.

📚

As soon as he opened the door and entered his house, the delicious smell hit his empty stomach. Seungpyo entered the living room, and his brother, sitting on the sofa, greeted him without turning his head.

“You’re back?”

“Did you order pizza?”

“Yeah, eat if you want.”

“I’ll take a shower first.”

Seungpyo went straight to the bathroom and took off his clothes. After finally washing and drying his damp body, transformed back into the refreshed Oh Seungpyo, he headed straight to the utility room.

He threw his clothes into the washing machine and returned to the living room, plopping down next to his brother on the sofa. There was a can of beer in front of his brother, who was watching TV. Seungpyo cautiously asked,

“Can I have a sip?”

“Just one sip.”

“Thanks.”

He took a bite of pizza and lifted the beer can, taking a small sip. The tingling carbonation, along with a bitter taste he couldn’t find in cola or soda, a flavor still unfamiliar to him, spread through his nose.

A soccer match was on TV. The commentators’ excited voices filled the living room. Seungpyo preferred basketball to soccer, but he usually enjoyed watching games. Today, however, he couldn’t concentrate.

After devouring three slices of pizza in the blink of an eye, Seungpyo took another sip of beer without asking his brother and then asked,

“Don’t you have a girlfriend yet?”

“I had one, but we broke up.”

“Really? When? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“What’s the point of telling a high schooler about that kind of stuff.”

“Ah, come on. You could’ve told me…”

His brother, suddenly hearing him grumble, finally turned to his only brother.

“Why are you suddenly asking? Are you getting a girlfriend?”

“No. Of course not.”

“Since when were you interested in your brother’s love life… You must be asking because something happened.”

“Ah, why are you pushing it? I was just asking because I thought you didn’t have one since it’s been a while since you went to college, and you always drink with your club members even when you come home late.”

Seungpyo looked up at the sky, feeling righteous. He really had no plans to get a girlfriend.

As he confidently met his brother’s suspicious gaze, his brother seemed to finally believe him and looked away without further questioning. Seungpyo continued his questions, not giving up.

“Why did you break up?”

“Just…our personalities didn’t match.”

“Then why did you date her in the first place?”

“I liked her at first. She seemed cute.”

Seungpyo hesitated, then asked,

“Did fireworks go off in your head too?”

“No? What fireworks?”

“Dad said he felt like flowers bloomed in his head when he met Mom.”

“Dad was exaggerating. And even if that was true, would he feel that way about just anyone? Mom wasn’t the only person he dated when he was young.”

“Still.”

“…Honestly.”

His brother crushed the empty can and opened a new one.

“Dad only says good things about Mom. I think that’s only possible because Mom isn’t here. If Mom were still alive, I don’t think Dad and Mom would have only had a beautiful relationship.”

It was a bittersweet story, like the aftertaste of beer, but it was true. Although his brother wasn’t much older than him and sometimes seemed more immature, he seemed a little more grown-up at times like this, perhaps because he’d lived a few more years.

Seungpyo grumbled sullenly,

“Still, it would have been better if Mom were alive.”

“Of course.”

The washing machine’s alarm went off, signaling the end of the cycle. Seungpyo quickly got up and headed to the utility room.

The rain-soaked clothes he had worn today and the white towel were completely dry. Seungpyo gathered the dry laundry and went into his room instead of returning to the TV.

He hung his clothes on a hanger and looked around for a place to put the towel before eventually lying down with it in his hand. It wasn’t exactly a gift, but it was the first time he had received a towel. Seungpyo examined the ordinary convenience store-branded towel in detail.

The cleanly dried towel smelled good. When he first received it, it had smelled of chemicals, perhaps because it was brand new, but now, freshly laundered, it was fragrant.

At first glance, it looked like just a square piece of cloth, but looking closely, he could see the white, fluffy threads knotted together to form the towel. As he continued to look at it, each fragrant knot resembled a small wildflower with white petals. Seungpyo slowly stroked the fine threads with his fingertips.

What did it feel like to like someone?

He had thought that love was like a large, beautiful flower, unlike any other, suddenly blooming in his heart one day. He believed that someday, when he became an adult, he would meet someone who would make such a flower bloom in his heart.

But maybe not. Maybe his first love would be like small, white wildflowers blooming one by one without him even realizing it, until, looking back, the empty field would be filled with flowers.

His hand lingered on the soft towel. He wasn’t sure if he could sleep peacefully tonight.

📚

This morning, Jaemin had a harder time than usual getting out of bed. It was only natural, since he had gone to bed late last night.

‘I have something to tell you. I’m going to think about it a little more and tell you tomorrow.’

Oh Seungpyo’s unusually serious face and declarative tone had successfully piqued Jaemin’s curiosity. He had even lost sleep last night, wondering what it was about. It probably wasn’t anything important. Knowing his tendency to exaggerate, he might be making a fuss over something trivial.

Anyway, he was tired from oversleeping. He forced himself awake, got ready for school, and left the house. The housekeeper followed him to the front door and handed him a small tumbler.

“You have to eat fruit even when you’re busy. Take this to school and eat it.”

Curious, he looked inside and saw plump green grapes that could be eaten whole. It seemed she had wanted him to eat them after he had declined the dessert offered after breakfast because he was in a hurry. He couldn’t refuse this, so Jaemin smiled and put it in his bag. The housekeeper continued,

“Are you still getting along well with your friend? I packed plenty so you can share with your friends.”

“Yes, I will. Thank you, Auntie.”

“Have a good day.”

Jaemin left the house and walked. His feelings on the way to school, especially on a day like this after a sleepless night, were no different than any other top student.

He mechanically walked, filled with boring thoughts like I don’t want to go to school, it’s bothersome, I want to sleep more, I want to go to college soon. From elementary school to now, he’d been going to school without fail for 11 years, excluding weekends and vacations, so it was about time he got tired of it.

But today, Ryu Jaemin’s steps towards the school gate were a little faster and lighter than usual. He had a question that could only be answered at school.

Lately, he had been worried about his unusually low spirits. It was clear that secretly kissing Oh Seungpyo was a much more fun and safe way to relieve stress than playing on his secret SNS account, but after they were done, he would feel inexplicably frustrated and gloomy, unable to talk properly, just returning to the classroom.

This was something he had been worried about even right after rolling around in bed with Oh Seungpyo. Could he be satisfied with just kissing after doing things that were practically sex?

Fortunately, he felt his energy returning after they made the bet on the finals. Maybe he’d just been lacking stimulation recently? That’s what Jaemin assumed was the reason for his recent melancholy.

It took a little over 10 minutes by bus from his house to school. Arriving at the classroom, Jaemin habitually looked around before heading to his seat. Oh Seungpyo, who had given him that cryptic message, had arrived before him. He was surrounded by his close friends, as always.

“Seungpyo, thanks for the umbrella yesterday. I’ll buy you snacks today.”

“It wasn’t even my umbrella.”

“That’s what makes it even more awesome. He got an umbrella so we wouldn’t get rained on. He’s so loyal.”

Jaemin’s question grew as he listened to the conversation behind him.

‘Oh Seungpyo got an umbrella?’

He didn’t understand why Seungpyo would go through the trouble of getting an umbrella and then give it to his friends while letting himself get drenched. It wasn’t something that could be simply praised as loyalty. Was Oh Seungpyo this complicated?

Listening to Oh Seungpyo talking with his friends reminded him of yesterday. Yesterday, too, Oh Seungpyo had been talking with the same group of friends at his desk.

It had started as a normal conversation, but at some point, it shifted to the topic of his suspicious disappearances during break times and the possibility of him having a girlfriend, turning into a sort of interrogation of Oh Seungpyo.

Even though he could have just ignored it since Oh Seungpyo wasn’t likely to answer honestly, he felt uncomfortable and left the classroom. He was thirsty anyway, so he bought a carton of chocolate milk from the school store. When he returned, their topic of conversation had shifted from Oh Seungpyo’s nonexistent girlfriend to him.