EAR Ch 28
by soapaSeungpyo readily agreed to Jaemin’s request to focus on studying as usual until the final exams were over.
Their messages were limited to necessary conversations at school or goodnight texts, just like before. Jaemin devoted himself to his studies more diligently than ever, wishing for this play-acting period to end quickly. He was afraid that if he didn’t focus on studying, his heart, which had started to creak like a misaligned cogwheel, would crumble and fall apart completely. He deliberately tried not to think about what would happen afterward.
On the day the five-day final exams, which felt particularly long, finally ended, many students cheered, regardless of the results. But Jaemin, unable to enjoy the usual lighthearted feeling that followed the end of exams, looked gloomy. Seeing his dark expression, nearby classmates, perhaps misunderstanding, cautiously asked, “Ryu Jaemin, did you check your answers?”
Meaning, did you do well on the exam? Jaemin nodded.
“I’m not sure, but after checking the questions I was unsure about, it seems similar to before.”
“Wow, so you might get a perfect score again?”
“No, not a perfect score, but similar to other exams.”
“Then you did well this time too. What’s wrong? I was worried because you looked upset.”
Jaemin finally managed a wry smile. He wasn’t dismissing his friend’s goodwill, but…was he really just worried?
Whether he liked it or not, he had to share the pie with his classmates. He doubted anyone would be genuinely concerned about top student Ryu Jaemin’s gloomy face.
It wasn’t that they were wrong or that he resented them. He was no different. He didn’t believe their questions about his grades were filled with pure warmth, but he didn’t consider their concern entirely fake either.
The tumultuous final exams were finally over. After packing his bag, Jaemin naturally turned his gaze towards Seungpyo. Seungpyo, as if he’d been waiting, was perched on his desk, staring intently at Jaemin.
He’d have to check the answer keys at the academy for the exact results, but from middle school until now, there hadn’t been much difference between Jaemin’s estimated scores and his actual scores.
He saw Seungpyo busily typing something on his phone. As expected, Jaemin’s phone vibrated in his pocket shortly after.
I think I lost this time
I got at least three wrong
It wasn’t surprising at all. Oh Seungpyo hadn’t studied as hard as him this time.
During the midterms, Seungpyo had chased him closely, making him nervous, but after the sex condition was removed, he seemed to have lost interest.
Having been robbed of the fruits of victory from the start, Oh Seungpyo had resorted to the petty tactic of trying to hinder his opponent rather than win, like a drowning man dragging others down with him. Jaemin had almost fallen for that absurd strategy at first, but fortunately, he’d managed to shake off the shenanigans and maintain his pace.
You don’t know yet, you have to check the answer key
A reply came to Jaemin’s seemingly comforting message.
The way you’re saying that makes me think you did better than me
Jaemin didn’t reply, just looked down at the screen.
If his predictions were correct, Jaemin had missed exactly one question on the written portion of the exam. Whenever he missed one question, he usually maintained his rank, so unless there was some unexpected variable, he’d likely occupy the top spot on the ranking board again. At least he’d beaten Oh Seungpyo.
Now, what mattered more than winning or losing was that the grace period of their fake relationship was over. There was still time before academy started, and Jaemin didn’t want to prolong this tiring situation any longer. There was no hesitation as he typed a new message.
Let’s talk in the resource room before we go to academy
I have to stop by the teachers’ office for a bit, I have an errand for my homeroom teacher
Then I’ll wait
The Oh Seungpyo that Jaemin knew was quick-witted. He probably understood the situation, but was he pretending not to, or did he really not know? This time, too, only a playful emoticon with lots of hearts came back.
Jaemin pocketed his phone without expression.
📚
No one wanted to stay at school any longer on the last day of exams. Usually, all sorts of noises from the hallway or classrooms would drift into the resource room, but today, with everyone rushing home, it was dead quiet while Jaemin waited for Seungpyo.
Jaemin felt a slight pang of regret for acting so hastily. He could have waited until after academy classes to call Seungpyo, but perhaps he’d been too tired lately? He’d been so preoccupied with ending this situation quickly that he hadn’t thought things through.
“Ryu Jaemin!”
Before he could finish regretting his actions, the door burst open and Seungpyo appeared. He rushed over and hugged Jaemin tightly.
Flustered by the sudden embrace, Jaemin hesitated, unable to push him away. Seungpyo released him first, then leaned in. His lips brushed Jaemin’s cheek, and just as he was about to go in for a second kiss, Jaemin managed to stop him by grabbing his shoulders.
“Stop it.”
Seungpyo tilted his head, smiling.
“Why? The exams are over, so we can kiss now.”
He was right. Now that the exams were over, there was no need to continue this ridiculous pretend relationship.
Or was there? The fake confession had worked, he’d even received a confession in return…Playing with Ryu Jaemin must be quite entertaining for Oh Seungpyo, so he might not see a reason to stop just because the exams were over. This must be much more interesting than a trivial bet about exam rankings.
Jaemin, who had struggled more than usual to prepare for the exams to avoid getting caught in Oh Seungpyo’s scheme, found his nonchalant attitude irritating. It was as if he was saying that grades didn’t matter to him unless there was a bet involved, especially one with sex as a condition.
Jaemin asked accusingly, as if he were a teacher, “You didn’t study hard this time, did you?”
“Hmm?”
At Jaemin’s question, Seungpyo looked embarrassed and rubbed the back of his neck.
“I studied like usual. Not as much as the midterms, but… I was just super motivated then. So, I think my results are about the same as usual.”
“Why? Didn’t you want to beat me?”
“I did want to win because of the bet, but…”
Seungpyo hesitated, then smiled widely again. The shy expression only looked annoying to Jaemin.
“Maybe it’s because we’re dating? Honestly, I don’t think I’m as competitive as I used to be.”
“Not because you can’t have sex?”
“That might have something to do with it.”
Seungpyo chuckled, seemingly taking Jaemin’s question as a joke.
“I was also curious about what you would ask me to do if you won. I told you from the start, but you didn’t say anything.”
Jaemin stared at Seungpyo. Of course he was curious. What would the foolish Ryu Jaemin, who didn’t know he was being tricked, ask for as a condition of the bet? Jaemin quietly spoke.
“Can I tell you now? Even though we haven’t checked the answer keys yet?”
“I think you won this time, even without checking. Just tell me, I’m curious.”
This was the moment of counterattack he’d been waiting for. He wondered how much Oh Seungpyo’s smug, smiling face would distort after being hit with the truth.
At the same time, a part of Jaemin’s chest ached. He felt pathetic for falling for Seungpyo even though he knew it was a fake confession, and even though it was just a pretend relationship, he was flustered that ending it wasn’t as easy as he’d thought.
Once he said these words, they might not be able to go back to how they were before. Jaemin couldn’t even imagine how Oh Seungpyo would react.
Would he laugh in disbelief, or would his pride be hurt and he’d get angry, knowing his trick had been exposed? Jaemin looked directly at Seungpyo and slowly continued, “Let’s break up.”
Seungpyo’s eyes widened.
His face, still holding traces of a smile, froze. He asked, “What?”
“I said let’s break up. The exams are over, so let’s stop this fake relationship. Stop playing around.”
“Huh? Fake?”
Seungpyo frowned slightly, looking bewildered, as if he couldn’t understand Jaemin’s words at all.
It was time to come clean. Depending on how Oh Seungpyo reacted, they could end this amicably. Jaemin frowned at Seungpyo’s attempt to drag things out.
“Did you really think I confessed because I liked you? You were trying to mess with me right before the exams, so I did the same to you.”
“Wait a minute. I don’t understand what you’re saying right now.”
“Drop the act. You suddenly confessed out of the blue, would anyone but a fool believe that? You did it to make my grades drop, to mess with my head. You thought I’d slip up, didn’t you? Well, too bad. You’re the one whose grades are going to drop because of your stupid stunt, while mine will probably stay the same.”
Frustrated by Seungpyo’s feigned ignorance, Jaemin blurted out everything he’d bottled up, faster than he’d intended. He felt a little embarrassed, realizing he’d gotten carried away. He wanted to remain calm in front of Seungpyo, who was acting so nonchalant.
“So,” Seungpyo said after a moment of silence, his face hardening, the smile gone, “you’re saying everything you said, about liking me and wanting to date me, was a lie?”
“Of course. Your confession was a lie from the start.”
“Why do you think it was a lie? What’s the reason?”
“What do you mean? Of course…”
Jaemin trailed off, unable to continue explaining confidently. It felt too pathetic to list out all the reasons aloud.
How could he believe a confession right after being told they weren’t even friends? He’d even searched online, and there were lots of guys like him, planning fake confessions to sabotage people they disliked or rivals with similar grades right before exams. Hadn’t he gotten the idea from the internet?
It would be like admitting he’d worried so much he’d even resorted to internet searches. It would make him look even more ridiculous and foolish, so Jaemin changed tack.
“There’s no reason for you to like me.”
“I asked you why you think that way.”
“Is that even something to think about? It’s obvious. As you said, we’re not really gay, we can’t like each other. Nothing happened until the day before, then you suddenly confess? Anyone would find that strange, not just me. Besides, you were so desperate to win the final exam bet. So you did that on purpose to distract me from studying…”
“Then why did you say you liked me?”
Seungpyo cut off Jaemin’s rambling excuse.
“You should have said what you’re saying now back then, when I confessed. Why are you saying this now? What was your reason for saying you liked me?”
“You were trying to mess with me, so I did the same to you. I thought you’d be surprised if I confessed back.”
“Surprised? I was happy! I didn’t expect you to like me back!”
Seungpyo’s voice rose sharply. Jaemin’s gaze hardened as well. Seungpyo ran a hand through his hair from his forehead to the back of his head and let out a hollow laugh.
“Ha… This is so absurd.”
Seungpyo stared into space, as if mulling over his thoughts. When he spoke again, his tone was much sharper.
“So, you’re saying everything you said to me, about liking me back, texting me goodnight, saying you wanted to play games after the exams, looking forward to going on dates with me…all of that was a lie?”
Jaemin hesitated, then nodded once.
Seungpyo gaped at him, as if dumbfounded, staring as if he were looking at a stranger, then sighed and looked away.
“Right. You were always like that. Listening to you now, I remember. The way you’d pretend to be weak and cry, then glare at me. It was so creepy, I’d forgotten about it.”
“…You were the one who threatened me and started it back then.”
“Not this time. You made me look like a fool by assuming things.”
Seungpyo’s expression was now clearly furious. Jaemin swallowed hard. He’d been so sure that Oh Seungpyo was just trying to tease him by suddenly confessing right before the exams, but he was starting to feel uneasy.
“If you had asked me like you just did, I could have explained everything. Sudden? No. How many times have we kissed? How many hours have we spent hugging? How is that sudden? You bought me a towel at the academy that time when I was soaked, right? I borrowed an umbrella from the teachers’ office that day because I didn’t want you to get wet. But when I came back, you were leaving with someone else under their umbrella?”
“….”
“After missing you, I didn’t want to use that umbrella anymore, so I just let my friends use it. Why did you bother going to the convenience store to buy a towel and secretly call me out? Since when were you so considerate?”
“I just didn’t want you dripping water all over the academy.”
“Are you the type to care about others that much? I wouldn’t be surprised if you saw someone drowning or on fire and just kept reading your book without batting an eye. But you weren’t like that with me. You were nice to me. That’s why I believed you when you said you liked me. But you’re saying everything you said for days was a lie, a trick to stab me in the back? Fuck, are you crazy?”
Seungpyo’s voice, though low, was harsh as he rapidly interrogated Jaemin. Jaemin tightened his lips.
“I could understand if only the confession was a lie, but pretending to actually date me is seriously creepy.”
The force had drained from his angry voice. The agitated disbelief was gone, replaced by a detached calmness that came with accepting the situation.
Seungpyo adjusted his bag. He exhaled deeply and glanced at Jaemin.
“Disgusting bastard.”
He spat out the words and turned sharply. After a few strides, he reached the door of the resource room, yanked it open, and disappeared without looking back.
Jaemin stood frozen in place. The outside remained silent, without even the slightest noise. All he could hear were Oh Seungpyo’s receding footsteps, all he could feel was his fading presence.
Only when Seungpyo’s footsteps had faded almost completely did Jaemin dash out of the resource room. He looked around the hallway, but Seungpyo was already gone. Jaemin, who rarely ran at school, started sprinting without hesitation.
“Oh Seungpyo!”
Jaemin, who had been speechless while Seungpyo cornered him, finally called out.
“Oh Seungpyo!”
Jaemin ran down the stairs. Fortunately, he’d caught up quickly enough to find Seungpyo descending the stairs.
Seungpyo below, Jaemin above. They made eye contact, standing on different landings.
“Why are you following me?”
Seungpyo looked up at Jaemin with undisguised displeasure. Jaemin, catching his breath after the sudden run, hurried down the remaining steps.
He couldn’t speak coherently, his mind racing, but he couldn’t let Oh Seungpyo go just like that.
“I really thought you were…”
“What?”
“I really thought you were lying. That you were just teasing me…”
“Forget it. It’s all bullshit. Let’s just pretend it never happened.”
Seungpyo waved him off dismissively and quickened his pace. But Jaemin didn’t stop. He followed Seungpyo down the stairs, trying to calm his anxious heart, a feeling he’d never experienced before.
He’d never felt this nervous, not even when he was about to be punished by his father. His heart felt like it would burst.
“Oh Seungpyo, I’m sorry. I apologize for misunderstanding.”
“Forget it. I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”
If an apology didn’t work, there was nothing left he could do. It was clear who was at fault, and whether or not to accept the apology was entirely up to the person who had been hurt.
Perhaps because of his anxiety, his throat felt tight and hot. It was his fault for making assumptions and causing this situation, but the feelings he’d experienced these past few days hadn’t been fake.
He’d been genuinely upset thinking that Oh Seungpyo was toying with him, that he was the only one who’d fallen for it like a fool, that Seungpyo, who acted like a sweet boyfriend, actually didn’t like him. Studying had been much harder than usual, and now he was even begging Oh Seungpyo for forgiveness. He’d always considered himself smart and intelligent, never losing his top rank, but now he realized he was the biggest fool of all.
He’d thought they might not be able to be friends after the final exams, but none of the bad endings Jaemin had imagined were like this. He never wanted to end things with Oh Seungpyo this way.
Not knowing what to do, Jaemin continued to follow Seungpyo, almost instinctively grabbing the hem of his shirt.
“…What are you doing?”
Seungpyo, his movement restricted, frowned and looked back. Jaemin’s lips trembled, unable to find the right words.
Seungpyo looked at his face, his expression turning somewhat troubled, then looked away.
“Let go.”
What could he say to change Oh Seungpyo’s mind? Jaemin’s racing mind came up with an unrefined answer, and his desperate mouth blurted it out without a second thought.
“Let’s have sex.”
The air between them froze, becoming stiff and cold.
Seungpyo’s face hardened even more than it had in the resource room at the unexpected suggestion. He spoke after a beat.
“What do you take me for…”
Right, why did I say that?
Jaemin realized his mistake a moment too late. Sex, in this situation? Even he thought it was the worst possible thing to say. The thought that everything was truly over made his hand go limp.
Seungpyo snatched the hem of his shirt from Jaemin’s loosening grip and strode towards the entrance. Jaemin, stunned and drained of energy, could only watch his retreating figure.
Seungpyo, who had taken a few confident strides with Jaemin’s gaze fixed on his back, gradually slowed down, then stopped abruptly. He stood still, as if deep in thought, then slowly turned around and asked, with a mixture of suspicion and curiosity, “…Really?”
Huh…?
Jaemin couldn’t answer immediately, just stared back at Seungpyo, momentarily unable to grasp the point of his question.
Really what?
“Ah.”
A few seconds later, understanding dawned on Jaemin, and he nodded enthusiastically.
“Yeah. Really.”
Even as he nodded vigorously, Jaemin was inwardly surprised. Even though he’d blurted it out in desperation, he’d thought it was the absolute worst thing to say in this situation, but for Seungpyo to actually take him up on it… Oh Seungpyo was more serious about sex than Jaemin had anticipated.
“I’m not lying this time. Really.”
If that was the case, he had no choice but to bet everything on the one remaining possibility. When it came to sexual curiosity, Jaemin had never been one to fall behind Oh Seungpyo. Seungpyo had always been a step ahead, but it took two to tango. Jaemin had always played along, pretending to give in to his requests.
But perhaps because of the situation, Seungpyo’s expression didn’t brighten even though Jaemin was agreeing to his desires with unprecedented enthusiasm. Instead, he looked at Jaemin with a strange, displeased expression.
“Honestly.”
Seungpyo chuckled and coughed briefly. His expression was ambiguous. Jaemin tried to see it in a positive light, but Seungpyo didn’t seem particularly happy. He seemed more bewildered than pleased at finally achieving his goal of sex.
He walked towards Jaemin again and scoffed sarcastically, “You’re funny. Do you think something will change just because you say that? I’m not some sex-crazed maniac.”
Hadn’t the situation already changed? He’d rejected an apology but turned back at the offer of sex.
But Jaemin didn’t make the mistake of voicing his thoughts. He simply resolved to convey his intentions more clearly now that Oh Seungpyo had taken the bait.
“I didn’t mean it like that. You said you wanted to practice sex. Do whatever you want.”
As soon as Jaemin finished speaking, Seungpyo’s face hardened, as if he were angry. Even the faint trace of amusement, albeit mocking, disappeared from his face. He’d added those words to make him happy, but… He wasn’t sure where he went wrong. Jaemin decided to keep quiet, not wanting to make things worse.
Seungpyo’s tone became sharper.
“And when did you say no? Now that things aren’t going your way, you offer sex? Do whatever I want?”
“I was trying to be nice…”
“That was an easy change of heart. That’s why they call you a whore.”
…There it is. The magic of a single offer of sex resolving everything hadn’t happened.
Seungpyo seemed determined to vent his frustration by provoking Jaemin, even if they were going to have sex eventually. Since he’d completely ceded control of the conversation, Seungpyo probably felt no need to rush.
Normally, Jaemin would have retaliated, but since he was the one in the wrong, he decided to swallow his pride and listen quietly.
“Okay, I’ll be the whore.”
“What are you even saying, crazy…”
Seungpyo’s voice dropped, as if irritated by Jaemin’s compliance with his taunt. He sighed, as if in disbelief, then lowered his head, bringing his gaze closer to Jaemin’s.
“Ryu Jaemin, I wanted to have sex with you because I like you.”
Jaemin, flustered, bit his lip lightly. One minute he was being called a whore, the next he was being told he was liked. It wasn’t just the internet search results that made him unable to fully believe Seungpyo’s words.
Oh Seungpyo was like a rollercoaster. It was too difficult for him, who lived life in a one-way, safe-speed lane, to keep up with this fast and twisting person. Perhaps they were just too different, their desires misaligned, leading to this mess.
“I liked you from the start, I just confessed late. I said the thing about practice before you said you liked me back.”
“…Yeah.”
“But you, who don’t even like me, are saying you’ll use your body to appease me because things aren’t going your way? You think I wouldn’t be angry?”
Jaemin bit the inside of his lower lip lightly. Just as Seungpyo had said he could explain everything if asked, Jaemin could also explain the tumultuous emotions he’d been experiencing.
But would Oh Seungpyo believe his long-winded excuses? His distrustful expression seemed filled with a strong resolve not to believe anything Jaemin said, no matter what. He wanted to say so many things, but seeing Seungpyo’s sullen expression, his motivation crumbled. He’d explain later; now wasn’t the right time. Jaemin’s voice softened.
“You wouldn’t believe me even if I told you I like you again.”
“Seeing how you act, I can’t believe anything you say. You said you’ve never had sex before, and you’re offering your virginity to appease someone?”
Seungpyo asked a rhetorical question, his tone now laced with suspicion, and frowned slightly.
“Why do you treat yourself so carelessly?”
“…What?”
“I call you a whore, and you agree to be one… Hey, you should value yourself more!”
Oh Seungpyo’s voice rose, his expression suddenly filled with emotion, as if something had occurred to him. Jaemin blinked, dumbfounded.
Jaemin prided himself on valuing his life more than anyone else. That was why he worked hard to maintain good grades and a good reputation, lived each day diligently, dreaming of a bright future, and only released his stress and rebellious spirit in the anonymity of the internet, where the real Ryu Jaemin couldn’t be harmed.
Even though Oh Seungpyo had discovered his secret, it was just a careless accident; he never thought of himself as worthless. Jaemin had no reason to be lectured like this by a classmate with lower grades.
Forgetting his earlier resolve to listen quietly, Jaemin retorted in disbelief, “What are you talking about? Who’s treating themselves carelessly?”
“You are. You don’t know shit. That’s why you piss people off.”
Jaemin, about to retort, slowly closed his mouth. He wasn’t sure why Oh Seungpyo was acting this way, but judging by his tone and attitude, his misunderstanding seemed to be working in Jaemin’s favor.
But he was still unsure how to respond. Jaemin hesitated, his thoughts going in circles, then returned to the main point.
“So…are we not doing it?”
Ultimately, the issue at hand was just one thing. Were they having sex or not?
Just as their argument had been intense, the answer didn’t come easily. After a brief sigh and a moment of heavy silence, Seungpyo seemed lost in thought, then nodded.
“We are. I want to even more now.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m pissed. You said you didn’t want to when I suggested it. You said you wanted to reset things now that we’re dating, right? I took that bullshit seriously and even stopped kissing you… If you were going to agree this easily, why did you reject me then? Was it fun playing me and stabbing me in the back?”
“….”
“It pisses me off, but what do I gain from holding onto my pride? Seeing you like this, I wouldn’t be surprised if you suddenly decided to lose your virginity to some internet pervert. Fuck, I’d rather be the first.”
Jaemin pondered his words, finding the conclusion questionable. The flow of logic seemed unusual. Then again, Jaemin’s proposition itself had been confusing, so he couldn’t expect the person deciding whether to accept it to be completely rational.
Seungpyo lowered his voice and whispered, “Remember what I said before the exams?”
“What did you say?”
“I said I wouldn’t let you go if I won this bet. I told you to keep an entire weekend free, Saturday or Sunday, because I’d play with you for twelve hours.”
Jaemin, with his good memory, remembered his words clearly. Hearing that low voice again sent shivers down his spine, as if he’d heard a chilling warning. Jaemin’s chin trembled slightly without him realizing.
Seungpyo continued, looking at Jaemin with an impassive face.
“My brother is going camping with his friends this weekend, staying overnight. Come to my house by 10 AM on Saturday. Whether you can’t come or choose not to, if you don’t show up, that’s it. I’ll just assume that’s the extent of your remorse.”
“…I don’t know where your house is…”
“I’ll send you the address.”
Seungpyo, who had raised his phone as if to type the address right away, suddenly stopped and frowned. Then, he added a new demand.
“Give me your number.”
“Why your number?”
“I was trying to be considerate, thinking you had your reasons, but I need your number now. I don’t think I need to be so considerate of your circumstances anymore.”
Jaemin hesitated, then finally took Seungpyo’s phone. He’d only given his number to a few classmates he occasionally exchanged messages with about tests or academy, because he didn’t want to be bothered by random messages. Those classmates didn’t message him after school.
After slowly typing in his number, Jaemin returned the phone and added, “My parents don’t like me using my phone late at night. So don’t contact me through messenger when I’m at home.”
“I said I don’t want to think about your circumstances. I’ll do what I want.”
Seungpyo pressed the call button. Jaemin’s phone started ringing. Even though they’d been in the same class for almost half a year, this was the first time they were exchanging numbers.
The call ended as Jaemin stared at the unfamiliar number. Seungpyo pocketed his phone and grumbled, “Why would I contact you without a reason? Don’t worry about useless things and just come up with an excuse to come to my house on Saturday. You said you needed permission, right?”
“I’ll take care of it.”
It was a frosty conversation for two people about to have sex for the first time. The atmosphere after their argument was strained. Cold and dry like dried seafood left in a winter wind, they walked side-by-side to the school gate in silence.
The car that would take Jaemin to the academy had already arrived. Should he ask Oh Seungpyo to come along, like last time? As Jaemin hesitated, unable to speak due to the awkwardness, Seungpyo spoke first.
“I’m going.”
Even this simple farewell made Jaemin’s heart clench. He’d managed a temporary fix with the offer of sex, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that his relationship with Seungpyo was irreparably damaged.
‘Did I do the right thing?’
Jaemin desperately wanted an answer, but there was no textbook or answer key for this problem.
“Yeah, see you later.”
Jaemin replied casually, looking at Seungpyo. But Seungpyo seemed unable to leave right away. He looked at Jaemin with the same troubled expression he’d had when Jaemin grabbed his shirt, then said curtly, “Why the long face? Cheer up. You got what you wanted.”
“I’m not making a long face.”
“If you say so.”
Jaemin watched Oh Seungpyo turn sharply and walk away, then got into the car. The driver, who had been looking at his phone, asked, “Isn’t that the friend from last time? Why didn’t you ask him to come along?”
“He has somewhere to go.”
“Really? He seems like a nice and fun kid. Bring him along next time if you get the chance. It’s the same for me whether I drive one or two.”
“Okay.”
I want to, Jaemin thought, leaning his head against the car window.
📚
Jaemin’s mother was the only one home to greet him. Perhaps because it was the last day of exams, she came all the way to the entrance to meet him.
“I’m home.”
“Good work. Get changed and come have a snack.”
“Okay.”
He wasn’t hungry, but he was too tired to refuse. After changing his clothes, Jaemin sat across from his mother, eating the snack she’d brought him. A teacup was placed in front of her as well.
“Did you check the answer key at the academy?”
She seemed to be expecting surprisingly good results again, given his excellent midterms. He felt uneasy, even though he hadn’t done poorly on the exam. The joy of good results was fleeting, but the pressure of further expectations lingered.
Jaemin nodded, pretending not to notice her anticipation.
“I think I missed one question.”
“That’s good. I’m glad your average seems to have improved since you started second grade. You’ve been doing tutoring all along, are the teachers at your current academy good?”
His mother muttered to herself. A good idea suddenly struck Jaemin, and he looked at his mother.
“You know my friend, Oh Seungpyo? The one who picked me up before.”
“Ah, that friend? He seemed very polite and well-mannered.”
“He’s been ranked second in the entire school since freshman year, and we’re in the same class this year, so we often study together. My scores have improved a bit since studying with him.”
“Healthy competition? That does help improve one’s skills. It’s just hard to find a good rival.”
It was the result of a rather unhealthy bet, but it wasn’t impossible to frame it as healthy competition.
Perhaps satisfied with his first semester grades, his mother’s demeanor was softer than usual. Jaemin swallowed and brought up the main point.
“So, I want to go to his house this Saturday to study together… Is that okay?”
“Hmm…”
His mother tilted her teacup, silent for a moment. But she didn’t think for long.
“Alright. Since your grades have improved thanks to him, I guess it’s fine to visit occasionally. The final exams are over, too. I’ll talk to your father.”
Yes!
Jaemin almost cheered aloud. He’d been worried about how to ask to go to Oh Seungpyo’s house on Saturday, but it had been resolved far too easily.
He didn’t even have to talk to his father directly. He doubted his mother completely believed they’d be studying, but she seemed willing to give him some leeway, with summer vacation approaching.
Back in his room, Jaemin wanted to tell Seungpyo the good news right away. That he’d already gotten permission to go to his house on Saturday. But he figured he’d only get a cold response, like So what?, so he hesitated to open his messaging app.
After a moment of hesitation, Jaemin finally worked up the courage. The thrill of easily overcoming a difficult obstacle was too great to keep to himself.
I got permission to go to your house on Saturday
He sent the message without expecting much of a reaction, just wanting to feel relieved. But a reply came surprisingly quickly.
Then, by 10?
It was a more normal reply than he’d expected. Without the sullen expression or sarcastic tone, the words on the screen felt just like the Oh Seungpyo from before their fight. Jaemin relaxed a little and typed a new message.
Yeah, send me the address
An unfamiliar address appeared. Jaemin searched the address Seungpyo sent, gauging the route and distance to his house. As expected, since they went to the same school, it was an apartment not far from his own.
“So this is where he lives…”
Oh Seungpyo at Oh Seungpyo’s house. He felt a strange sensation, like meeting a stranger for the first time. They’d always met at school or the academy. He’d brought Seungpyo to his house once, but since it was a place too familiar to Jaemin, it hadn’t felt particularly different.
Even though Oh Seungpyo was furious because of his mistake, even though the circumstances leading to their agreement to have sex were a mess, even though their relationship was on the verge of collapse, Jaemin couldn’t help but feel a flutter of excitement. He wondered what Seungpyo was thinking right now.
📚
I got permission to go to your house on Saturday
He was already exhausted after the long exams, and Ryu Jaemin’s deception was the icing on the cake.
Seungpyo, who had collapsed onto his bed as soon as he got home, replaying the feelings of betrayal and anger, suddenly widened his eyes. He bolted upright like a spring upon seeing Ryu Jaemin’s message.
‘He’s really coming?’
He’d made it sound like an ultimatum, but the thought of Ryu Jaemin actually setting foot in his house made his heart race uncontrollably. He couldn’t believe his own reaction, considering he’d just been thoroughly betrayed by Jaemin, but…
‘It can’t be helped.’
It wasn’t the fact that the visitor was Ryu Jaemin that mattered, but the clear purpose behind his visit.
It was natural to be nervous, given the reason for the visit. After double-checking the time and sending Jaemin his address, Seungpyo stopped slumping like a deflated grand opening balloon animal and went to his brother’s room.
“What are you doing?”
“Oh, just buying some things for a weekend appointment.”
His brother was busy shopping online, looking at his phone. It seemed like he didn’t need to ask any further, but he confirmed just in case.
“Hyung, you’re staying over on Saturday, right?”
“Why? Planning on doing something bad if I’m not home?”
“I’m going to invite a friend over.”
“I’ll be staying over, so don’t worry and have fun.”
With the second confirmation complete, Seungpyo returned to his room, relieved. He’d confirmed the whereabouts of the most important obstacle. Then, all that was left was…
‘I need to clean.’
His room was a mess. The two brothers usually only did the bare minimum of cleaning and tidying, as long as it wasn’t too dirty, but with the exams, they’d put it off for several days.
He wasn’t entirely convinced Ryu Jaemin was a virgin, considering his behavior… but regardless of Ryu Jaemin, it would be Oh Seungpyo’s first time. He didn’t want to have his first time in a messy room.
He’d never thought he’d have his first time in his ordinary room, in the house he shared with his brother. He’d always assumed it would be with his first girlfriend, after he turned twenty, in a more romantic and impressive setting.
‘How should I prepare?’
Seungpyo paced around anxiously, then finally calmed down and sat at his desk. As always, searching online was the best option.
He felt fine when he opened the website, but as he hesitated over what keywords to use, Seungpyo’s expression turned increasingly strange. His face flushed red as he finally typed in “first time.” He quickly clicked the search button, and several potentially helpful resources appeared.
They were amateur educational videos, with experienced individuals offering various advice to couples about to have sex for the first time. He started watching one of the videos with the highest view count, listening intently as if he were taking notes.
[The most important thing is to have sex in a clean environment. Expensive hotels or fancy travel destinations are nice, but even if it’s not one of those places, it should be clean and quiet so you can focus on each other and stay calm.]
I’m cleaning, so that’s covered. I should wash the sheets too. It’ll definitely be quiet, since no one else will be home.
[The lighting shouldn’t be too bright or too dark.]
I should turn off the lights and light some candles for ambiance. Where do they sell those? I’ve never bought them before, but I think they sell scented candles these days, so I should get a nice one.
[Always use a condom. You might not be successful on the first try, so make sure you have enough.]
I’ve never bought condoms before… they probably sell them at convenience stores, right? To think the day would come when I’d be buying condoms… High school is definitely a whole different world from middle school. I should buy new underwear too, while I’m at it.
Seungpyo, who was checking off precautions like a checklist, suddenly stopped at the next piece of advice.
[If you want to avoid a situation where you’re suddenly unable to have sex after preparing everything, it’s a good idea to check your partner’s menstrual cycle.]
Menstrual cycle…?
Seungpyo was stunned. Come to think of it, all the advice online was focused on first-time experiences between men and women. There weren’t any videos about gay sex. Even if there were some, they were mostly focused on sensational experiences, not helpful for Seungpyo.
He started to feel worried. He’d boasted about playing with Jaemin for at least twelve hours, but if he looked inexperienced, the embarrassment would be unbearable.
Looking back, he’d been too arrogant. Even though it was limited to the online space, Ryu Jaemin had much more experience with sexual activities than him. He might end up looking like a complete newbie, worse than those internet perverts.
“Ah, whatever. I’ll just wing it.”
Seungpyo, lost in thought, scoffed at himself and tossed his phone onto the desk. He stared at a corner of his messy room, trying to gather his thoughts.
He’d finally heard those words from Ryu Jaemin – “Let’s have sex” – but he didn’t feel happy at all. There had been a sweet, exciting period of anticipation, but those feelings had flown away like a bird abandoning its nest.
This wasn’t about confirming their love or sharing a tender moment with Ryu Jaemin because he was cute and charming. It was more of an opportunity to teach the infuriating Ryu Jaemin a lesson.
‘Let’s have sex.’
The reason Seungpyo had stopped in his tracks, angry as he was, was simple. He couldn’t believe what he’d just heard.
This was Ryu Jaemin, who had pushed him away, suggesting they abstain even from kissing for a while, let alone sex. Even during the final exam bet, Jaemin had only been thinking about avoiding getting closer.
And now, the moment he was in a difficult position, he pulled out sex like a trump card?
Did he really think everything would be solved if he just offered his body, like the whore he is? Seungpyo had been furious at the realization that Ryu Jaemin had been playing him, but then he’d started laughing in disbelief.
At first, he’d doubted his ears at the sudden, out-of-the-blue proposition for sex. Then, he’d felt a little better knowing that the proud Ryu Jaemin was chasing after him, desperate enough to offer sex.
If it had ended there, they might have reconciled after a few words. If only Ryu Jaemin hadn’t opened his mouth again to add that unnecessary comment.
‘You said you wanted to practice sex. Do whatever you want.’
Ryu Jaemin had said that with a straight face. He couldn’t even laugh anymore, not after following him and clinging to his shirt only to say something like that.
Do whatever you want? How bold. Of course, Oh Seungpyo had imagined various things since he started wanting to have sex with Ryu Jaemin, even before that.
He’d even dreamt of doing those kinds of things with Ryu Jaemin a long time ago. After their impulsive first kiss, when erotic impulses started to intrude on their innocent and peaceful school life… Seungpyo still remembered that dream.
For some reason, in the dream, Seungpyo had stripped Jaemin naked, made him stand at attention, and flicked his penis, not his forehead, several times. Ryu Jaemin, as if he’d done something wrong, endured the flicking without complaint, even whimpering.
He’d had that dream right after playing basketball with Ryu Jaemin, with flicking as the wager. Perhaps the bet had mixed with the usual erotic dreams he had around that time. It wouldn’t be bad to turn that dream into reality, as a punishment for the infuriating Ryu Jaemin. Since Jaemin had offered himself as a practice tool, it would be disappointing to the pervert who’d made the offer if he let this opportunity slip.
“Fine.”
Seungpyo straightened up, his mind made up, and turned on his laptop instead of his phone. It was easier to search for various things in depth on a laptop.
‘Just you wait, Ryu Jaemin. You’re not getting away with this.’
Seungpyo’s eyes, as he searched for information about this unfamiliar world, burned with competitive spirit, as if he were preparing for a duel, not sex.
📚
The morning after the last exam of the semester, the classroom was much louder than usual. The students, briefly liberated, were running wild like unleashed racehorses, making the classroom as noisy as a marketplace.
Amidst the boisterous chaos, there was someone diligently dozing off. The other students looked at Oh Seungpyo with worried faces.
“Seungpyo, didn’t you study too hard for the finals? It’s the first time I’ve seen you this out of it after exams are over.”
“Yeah, you’d normally be busy thinking about what to do for fun.”
Seungpyo stretched, yawning at their concerned remarks. He wiped a tear from the corner of his eye and muttered, “It’s not because of the exams. I stayed up almost all night looking into something.”
“Looking into what? A new game?”
“Not yet, but I’m trying to find something fun. I’m tired of doing the same things all the time.”
Before the other students could pry into his new interest, Seungpyo quickly changed the subject to games. They still had some free time before summer school started, and everyone was eager to have fun.
But Seungpyo wasn’t relaxed at all. There were only two days left until ‘this weekend’.
“Let’s go to the PC room if you’re free today.”
“I can’t this weekend. Let’s go next Monday.”
“Monday it is, then?”
Seungpyo, with an important mission ahead, didn’t have time for games. After making plans with his friends for the following week, he waited impatiently for classes to end.
He needed two days to clean not just his room, but the entire house. If he made too much of a fuss, his brother might realize that the friend visiting wasn’t just an ordinary classmate. Even cleaning required careful planning, disguised as nonchalance.
After school, he had to change clothes and go to a distant convenience store or drugstore to buy condoms. Even though minors could buy them, he was still embarrassed to buy them in his school uniform. He’d almost had his number asked for by college girls when he went to the ski resort with his brother, so as long as he changed his clothes, no one would realize he was a high school student.
“Oh Seungpyo.”
While he was busy organizing his thoughts, a familiar voice called out from across the group of students surrounding him. Jaemin stood a little distance away, looking awkward.
He had his usual cold and indifferent expression. The tearful face clinging to him yesterday was nowhere to be seen, but their promise remained firm.
Thinking of the proud Ryu Jaemin’s hidden circumstances, which no one else knew, made Seungpyo’s heart race. But he maintained a blank expression, feigning indifference.
“The homeroom teacher wants to see us both in the teachers’ office.”
“Okay.”
Seungpyo got up and left the classroom with Jaemin.
The hallway was even noisier than the classroom. In the classroom, he only heard the voices of his classmates, but the hallway was a cacophony of noise from all the second-year students.
There were even kids kicking a ball around, even though they weren’t in the schoolyard. Amidst this festive chaos of students letting loose before summer vacation, only the two of them walked in silence, without exchanging a word.
Seungpyo was the first to break the awkward silence.
“Why does he want to see us?”
“Probably needs our summer study plans.”
Having the top two students in the school…well, it wasn’t exactly a rivalry since their rankings had never been reversed, but still, having the two students permanently fixed at the top of the ranking board in his class must have been a lot of pressure for the homeroom teacher. Seungpyo, who’d submitted a study plan before vacation last year as well, simply nodded.
Jaemin continued the conversation, which Seungpyo had thought was over.
“This weekend.”
“Hmm?”
Seungpyo looked at Jaemin, who was standing beside him. Jaemin’s gaze was slightly lowered. He still had an expressionless profile, but to Seungpyo, he looked a little shy.
“Don’t you have anything to prepare?”
“Prepare for what?”
“I thought you’d be busy preparing alone… If there’s anything I can help with, I’ll do it.”
Seungpyo almost scoffed but stopped himself. It seemed Jaemin had overheard conversations and realized that what Oh Seungpyo had been researching all night was related to their weekend plans.
But Ryu Jaemin was fundamentally mistaken. What they were going to do on Saturday wasn’t a sweet date or romantic sex.
Offering to help someone who was determined to torment him was like a naive puppy walking into a tiger’s den and offering to help with the preparations for being eaten. Of course, Ryu Jaemin was too cunning to be compared to a naive puppy.
Seungpyo chuckled softly and leaned towards Jaemin, lowering his voice in the noisy hallway, “You just worry about getting fucked by me.”
Jaemin’s eyes widened in surprise, his ears turning red. For a cyber whore who heard worse things from internet perverts every day, he was putting on quite the act. He could win an Oscar. But Seungpyo wasn’t falling for it anymore.
As he got closer, the scent that always clung to Ryu Jaemin became stronger. It was definitely the scent of laundry detergent or fabric softener, but he wondered if he’d still smell this good naked.
‘…Should I buy flowers?’
He’d never bought flowers with his own money in his life, but he thought it might be better than artificial scents, so Seungpyo added a new item to his mental checklist.