EAR Ch 40

Jaemin was the first to wake up. Despite falling asleep as if he’d fainted, the unfamiliar surroundings must have disturbed his sleep, as he opened his eyes before sunrise.

The first thing he did was look at the person sleeping next to him in the bluish dawn. Jaemin gently traced the smooth forehead, high nose bridge, and lips of Seungpyo, who was sprawled out and sleeping soundly, before checking the time. It wasn’t even five in the morning yet.

He wasn’t sure what time he’d fallen asleep. Even after coming twice, for some reason, the heat in his body hadn’t subsided, so they had started a third round without a proper break.

While Oh Seungpyo came three or four times, he seemed to have come five or six. Toward the end, although he was breathless and his body felt limp and exhausted, his penis remained stubbornly erect. He felt like his body had malfunctioned from the endless lust and pleasure. Oh Seungpyo, to the sobbing Jaemin who didn’t know what to do, had said something absurd about it being the ginseng liquor they’d drunk earlier.

Lost in a whirlwind of crying and feeling as if the supports in his head had crumbled, he hadn’t even felt embarrassed yesterday. Now, awake and looking back, he was suddenly ashamed of himself for sobbing like a child, unable to control his body.

Jaemin quietly slipped out of the bedding and headed to the bathroom. He wasn’t used to sleeping on the floor, let alone having such intense sex, so his condition wasn’t great. But despite his body’s aches, his head was clear and his heart felt at ease.

Standing in front of the mirror, Jaemin brushed his teeth and washed his face to fully wake up. The tap water in Seoul wasn’t this cool even when he turned on the cold water, but the water here was icy, making him feel refreshed just by washing his hands.

He stepped out onto the veranda, trying his best to open and close the creaking sliding door quietly, and took a deep breath. Despite the continuous summer heatwave, the dawn air in the seaside village was unbelievably cool and refreshing.

As he went out to the yard, he heard the sound of someone moving from the open annex. While hesitating about whether to go in and greet them or wait there, his grandmother, sensing his presence, came out and greeted him first.

“Why are you up so early?”

“Good morning.”

“Where’s Seungpyo?”

“He’s still sleeping. I didn’t wake him.”

I hope she didn’t hear us last night. Jaemin subtly checked his grandmother’s expression, but she responded as kindly as yesterday.

“Why are you up so early in the morning? You should sleep more.”

“Seungpyo and I promised to watch the sunrise.”

“Then you should wake him up.”

“I will in a bit. It’s still a while before sunrise.”

Seungpyo’s grandmother nodded and said they should all have breakfast together after watching the sunrise, then disappeared again. The faint clinking of dishes suggested she was busy in the kitchen.

He felt a slight sense of relief that they hadn’t been caught, but then he heard the sliding door open behind him. Turning his head, he saw Seungpyo, just awake, slightly bowing his head as he stepped out. Jaemin smiled brightly.

“You’re up?”

“Why are you out here alone? You should’ve woken me.”

“You can sleep more. It’s still about 30 minutes before sunrise.”

“I need to wash up.”

“I just washed my face.”

“Me too. We showered before bed.”

At those words, they exchanged a silent look and chuckled awkwardly. Since it was their first time having sex without a condom, they’d made quite a fuss cleaning themselves up in the shower last night.

Jaemin felt strange. They’d been dating for a while now, and they’d seen each other in all sorts of situations since last year, long before they started dating. It was their third time having sex, but he felt shy as if it were their first night together. He felt embarrassed to look directly at Seungpyo, so he averted his gaze, and Seungpyo coughed softly. The inexplicable shyness didn’t seem to be his alone.

“Wait a moment. I’ll be right out.”

“Okay.”

While waiting for Seungpyo, who had disappeared back into the room, Jaemin looked up at the sky. Dawn was quickly receding. A few stars still twinkled in the navy blue sky, but the pink light spreading from the east was expanding at an alarming rate.

Jaemin and Seungpyo, quickly ready to go out, left through the front gate and headed for the sea. Even though it was the same path they walked yesterday, the impression of the night and early morning was completely different. The quiet country road, which had only been filled with the sound of insects, was now pleasantly tranquil with the cheerful songs of birds, and the dewy grass emitted a fresh scent, full of life.

He could hear birdsong at home and school, but in a place without other noises, the melody became much clearer, making him listen intently. Focused on the surrounding sounds, the two didn’t talk much as they walked side by side. They only adjusted their intertwined hands from time to time or occasionally bent their heads to playfully kiss each other’s cheeks.

The beach they arrived at was still shrouded in a dusky purple light. Seungpyo, looking at the distant sky, said,

“We still need to wait a bit longer.”

Jaemin gazed silently ahead. The sun, preparing for its appearance beyond the horizon, was painting its stage with numerous colors, from blue to pink, and the sea, which had been like a black curtain, had become part of the dawn, dyed a bluish-purple.

The scenery of a new day beginning was breathtaking. Feeling surrounded by a giant painting, Jaemin murmured involuntarily,

“It’s beautiful.”

“Right? Whenever I come to Grandma’s house, I always watch the sunrise at least once.”

Jaemin turned his gaze from the distant sea to Seungpyo. Noticing his gaze, Seungpyo grinned and tilted his face closer.

“Are you staring because I’m handsome?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh… What’s gotten into you, Ryu Jaemin? First thing in the morning.”

Despite his boasting, Seungpyo’s tone became awkward when Jaemin agreed with him. Jaemin chuckled. He still puffed up his chest only to become shy when given the chance to show off.

“The water is still a bit cold because it’s early morning.”

Seungpyo had taken off his shoes and was playfully dipping his feet into the edge of the incoming tide. Jaemin simply watched him with an amused look, as if watching a puppy playing on the beach.

The guy who used to only think about how to attack my weaknesses now kisses them. The world where the sun rises across the sea every day is mysterious, and the love that blooms unexpectedly is wondrous. Did Oh Seungpyo know that the tears that flowed like spring water yesterday hadn’t shed a single drop when his legs were beaten to a pulp?

Red flowers and blue water bloomed on his blank heart, and today, various colors spread like the distant sky. Not just to be honest, but to remember this moment forever, Jaemin spoke, something he hadn’t planned to.

“Oh Seungpyo.”

“Hmm?”

“Before the sun rises, I’ll tell you what you asked yesterday.”

“What I asked?”

Seungpyo widened his eyes, as if asking what he was talking about.

“My father.”

He stopped short after the brief answer. Seungpyo, with his legs submerged up to his shins, blinked as if waiting for him to continue. However, when Jaemin remained silent, Seungpyo, seemingly reaching his limit of patience, asked first.

“What about your father?”

“My father hit me. My legs.”

Seungpyo’s brow furrowed a beat later at the nonchalant reply. His eyes trembled with bewilderment.

“What? What? Why?”

Seungpyo splashed out of the water and hurried towards Jaemin. The sound of splashing water echoed loudly in the calm sea. Facing Seungpyo’s frowning face approaching him, Jaemin continued his explanation.

“Because I didn’t want to go to boarding school.”

“Wait a minute. He hit you because you didn’t want to go to school?”

“That’s not all of it. I made him angry. It’s complicated…”

“Is it okay to hit someone when you’re angry? Everyone gets angry and upset a lot. Does everyone hit people then? No, they don’t!”

Oh Seungpyo raised his voice in gradations, like the brightening dawn sky. Jaemin simply smiled back at Seungpyo, panting with uncontainable rage, a sight unfit for the peaceful dawn.

“Right. He probably hit me because he thought it was okay to hit me since he can’t do that to others.”

“You’ve been ranked first in the entire school every time since high school. Normally, parents would carry their son on their backs all day if he did that! He bruised your legs just because you didn’t want to go to some cram school? Man, I really don’t understand.”

“It’s understandable if you only hear that much. That wasn’t the only reason. Anyway, what you were curious about was the culprit who did this to my legs, right?”

Seungpyo’s lips trembled with uncontainable anger. He opened and closed his mouth, ran his hand through his hair several times, and then cursed at the sea.

“Ah, fuck!”

Losing his composure at the sudden confession, Seungpyo picked up a smooth stone lying nearby and threw it with all his might as if to vent his frustration. Surprisingly, the stone thrown onto the calm tide skipped twice on the surface before sinking. Jaemin widened his eyes in admiration.

“Hey, you can skip stones in the sea?”

“Is that important right now?”

“It’s amazing.”

“You… Ugh, never mind.”

Seungpyo sighed. His anger seemed to have subsided as he looked at Jaemin with a bitter and pitiful expression. Jaemin, looking back at him, asked half-jokingly,

“You said yesterday you wouldn’t let this happen to me again. What are you going to do now?”

“Don’t go home. Come to my house.”

He’d expected Seungpyo to hesitate, but he answered without a moment’s thought. Jaemin blinked, asking in a tone of disbelief.

“You mean we should live together at your house?”

“Don’t worry. Even if I tell Dad and my brother, they’ll say it’s okay. If they don’t like it, I’ll leave home. I’ve already promised to move out and live on my own when I go to college, so they’ll understand if I say I want to leave a little earlier. I’m not just saying this.”

“There’s a lot to take care of when you first start living alone. What if your grades drop? We’re seniors next year.”

“You study. I’ll take care of the rest.”

“Then you’ll be too busy with other things and you’ll keep losing to me until graduation without ever ranking first, right?”

“It doesn’t matter. I can keep losing.”

“Why?”

“Because I love you.”

Jaemin, who had been teasingly asking questions, was speechless at the sudden and passionate confession. Was it silly of him to feel his cheeks flush in this situation?

“Come here. Let’s sit down.”

Seungpyo took Jaemin’s hand and led him. They sat side by side on the white sand near the edge of the tide.

Even after settling down, Jaemin remained silent. Seungpyo also became quiet. He was staring at the sea with his lips tightly pressed together as if trying to suppress all the words that were about to burst out.

What is he thinking? Jaemin looked at Seungpyo’s profile before turning his head forward. He wasn’t sure if Seungpyo was calming down or seriously planning to take him home, but it was clear, without needing confirmation, that Oh Seungpyo was racking his brain solely on his side. Jaemin could wait for his next words with a more relaxed heart.

Seungpyo, who had been silent, finally opened his mouth as if he had organized his thoughts.

“That wasn’t the first time your father hit you like that, was it?”

Seungpyo’s gaze was still fixed on the horizon. Jaemin asked back, genuinely puzzled.

“…How did you know?”

“Someone hitting for the first time can’t hit that hard, even if they’re heartless. Even in fights between kids, there’s a huge difference between someone who uses their fists often and someone who doesn’t. You told me once when I went to your house, didn’t you? That when you were little, you got hit on your calves in the study if you misbehaved.”

“Ah.”

“I remember hearing about you getting hit on your calves and like an idiot, I thought your father was sophisticated, refined…”

His voice trailed off, choked with emotion. He murmured with a gloomy expression, as if he were about to cry.

“It’s your father, so you’d be upset if I cursed at him, right?”

“No.”

“He’s like a crazy psycho. I want to beat the shit out of him. I even read a few of your father’s books out of curiosity. He pretends to be such a good person in his books, but fuck, why does he hit you? What did you do so wrong? I…”

“…….”

“I really thought you lived like it said in those books. Besides, you go to cram school in a Benz, and you have a housekeeper. I thought your rich, intelligent, kind, and educational parents cherished you so much…”

Jaemin swallowed dry, at a loss for words. It wasn’t something he had to make excuses for, but he felt like he should. Seungpyo murmured as if sighing.

“I’m so stupid.”

“…Everyone else thinks that way too. What can I do about how I appear to others?”

“No. I’ve thought your parents were strange before.”

This was news to Jaemin. His only memories of conversations with Seungpyo about his parents were when Seungpyo had openly expressed envy, saying it must be nice to have such an elegant and beautiful mother, or when he had treated him like a sheltered rich kid. Seungpyo’s following words were even more unexpected.

“During winter break, after we fought, you suddenly stopped coming to supplementary classes. Back then, your parents sent my phone to the homeroom teacher by courier, and I received it that way. It was strange. You said you lost my phone, so why did it come from your parents through the homeroom teacher by courier? I didn’t understand, and it bothered me.”

“…Ah, that time…”

“Yeah. If I had thought about it a little more back then, I might have known sooner. I should have asked you. What happened, are you okay. If I hadn’t ignored that nagging feeling and asked, you might have told me sooner…”

Jaemin shook his head without hesitation, to show him how delusional his regret was.

“I wouldn’t have told you even if you asked. Never.”

“…Why?”

“Because it’s embarrassing.”

Seungpyo turned his head, looking as if he didn’t understand. Jaemin gave a wry smile.

“Like you said, it would be mortifying to let people know that I, who appear respectable to others, am actually being used as a punching bag by my parents. If I was going to tell you, I would have already done it back then. I wouldn’t have lied about losing your phone.”

Listening to Jaemin, Seungpyo also recalled the events of last winter break. He had a good memory, so he could easily recall recent events.

The day he received his phone by courier from Ryu Jaemin’s parents was the day after they had a big argument. The argument started because Ryu Jaemin had claimed he lost Seungpyo’s phone and asked if he could just use the replacement phone, which, in Seungpyo’s opinion at the time, was a ridiculous request.

The day before, they had finished a long-awaited basketball match, which they had been building up to for several days with a bit of tension, in a relatively amicable way, and he had specifically asked Ryu Jaemin to bring his phone the next day. The Oh Seungpyo of that time couldn’t understand why Ryu Jaemin had gone back on his word in just one day.

“I can’t use my phone freely. I get checked sometimes. I only managed to keep my current phone because my tutor convinced my parents not to switch to a study phone when I started high school. The phone you found was a spare phone my sister secretly gave me. But back then, I hid your phone in my drawer, and my parents found it.”

After finishing his quick explanation, Jaemin sighed, as if he hadn’t expected to be telling this story.

Seungpyo waited patiently. Jaemin’s following voice was much calmer.

“Then both my parents suspected that I was using two phones. Well, it’s true that I was using a second phone without their knowledge. But the phone I had at the time was yours. No matter how much I insisted it was yours, they didn’t believe me. They said they’d contact your school and ask you directly, that they’d find out everything once they checked.”

“So?”

“I got worried. I was afraid that my father would actually contact you and say something strange. It would be embarrassing. We weren’t on good terms back then, and if you found out how I was treated at home…”

“…….”

“I hated that so much that I tried to handle it myself. I’d rather get hit a few times than have you find out about my situation. If I told my father that it was actually my phone and I had lied, I’d just get hit a few times and it would be over, right? So, as soon as I woke up in the morning, I told my father that, and I asked you if you could just use the replacement phone. Then there would be no reason for your parents to get involved.”

Seungpyo, who had been listening quietly, let out a deep sigh. A shaky tremor ran through his breath.

“So you got hit that time too? Is that why you came after the first period that day?”

“I got hit a little, but not as bad as this time. It was just a few hits on the calves and having my belongings checked.”

“…But I didn’t grant your request, did I? You asked me to use the replacement phone, but I cursed at you and got angry.”

“That’s why I got pissed and jerked off in front of you. That makes us even.”

“What did you do after I didn’t grant your request?”

“Since I ran out of options… I changed my story again and said it was a friend’s phone. My father got furious, saying I was playing games with him, and as punishment, I was banned from supplementary classes, cram school, and going out, so I just kept studying with a tutor at home… But after confirming that it really was your phone, he didn’t say anything else. He kept telling me he’d confirm it with you directly, but in the end, he just talked to the homeroom teacher and resolved it. I just made a fool of myself.”

Jaemin chuckled as if recalling a funny memory, but Seungpyo couldn’t laugh. On the contrary, he clenched his teeth to hold back tears.

Thinking back, the Ryu Jaemin of that time wasn’t the kind of person to say even a slightly pleading word to him. He must have been desperate to ask him a favor, watching his reaction carefully, but why had he been so mean and harsh? He felt newly ashamed and regretful.

He’d been on edge, thinking Ryu Jaemin was trying to trick him again, but wasn’t it true that he had acted arrogant and mean because the guy who always wanted to win was being submissive? His phone was already old and well-used, so if a close friend had asked the same favor, even if he grumbled about losing someone else’s belongings, he would have at least considered it seriously.

As he thought about this, he suddenly remembered a conversation he had with Jaemin recently.

‘Do you remember the day we first played basketball for a bet in our freshman year?’

‘Of course. How could I forget that?’

‘I felt like I became friends with you for the first time that day…’

Sniffle.

Jaemin, feeling lighter after revealing another secret, looked at the sea, then turned his head at the sound of a small sniffle.

“Hey…”

Jaemin stared at Seungpyo with wide eyes, then wrapped his arms around Seungpyo’s shaking shoulders.

“I’m not even crying, why are you crying?”

“I don’t, sniff, want to cry either.”

“What’s so upsetting all of a sudden after listening so well?”

Seungpyo couldn’t explain the reason for his tears. He was afraid that this answer, of all things, would hurt Ryu Jaemin’s pride.

After their final bet had ended vaguely in the form of a relationship, Seungpyo had asked Jaemin what condition he had planned to impose if he had won the bet. The answer was completely unexpected. To Jaemin, who had intended to ask him to “be his friend,” Seungpyo had grumbled sullenly, saying it was a ridiculous thing to say when they had been more than friends for a while now.

It hadn’t been a ridiculous thing to say. Around that winter break, Jaemin had made a difficult request he would never have made otherwise because he thought they had become friends. He had harbored a small hope that he might grant the request if he asked.

He had struggled to bring it up, but he had ridiculed him, calling him a slut and asking why he should use a dirty phone used by a pervert. Even if he was angry, he hadn’t needed to be so mean. He had deliberately been more cruel.

He still remembered the look on Jaemin’s face, lips trembling as if in shock. The current Oh Seungpyo hated his narrow-minded past self.

“Oh Seungpyo, stop crying. Look, the sun’s rising.”

Jaemin pointed ahead, patting Seungpyo’s broad shoulders. Seungpyo, who had been sniffling with his gaze downcast on the sand, also looked up.

The long-awaited sunrise was beginning. While the two were preoccupied with reminiscing about the not-so-distant past, the fingernail-sized red sun, which had barely shown itself above the sea, quickly swelled. The world, which had been painted in pastel colors, was now covered in vermilion and gold.

The sky and the sea, the sand where they sat close together, and the world behind them. And the golden light that engulfed everything at once was intense, as if declaring it would burn away the anger and sorrow of small humans. Both Seungpyo, who had been shedding tears, and Jaemin, who had been comforting him, lost their words and stared at the horizon for a while.

“My father wasn’t always like this.”

Jaemin, staring blankly at the distant sky, suddenly spoke as if confessing, overwhelmed by the sun along with the world.

“When I was young, he was a normal father, although he was busier than others… He never explained the details to us, but I think he fell behind in the competition with other judges. His pride was hurt, so he left the court and went to the university. But it seems like his wounded pride hasn’t recovered, even after all this time.”

“…….”

“My sister was smarter and better at studying than me. She was a real prodigy, so until high school, she was my father’s hope. He sometimes said that she would achieve everything he couldn’t.”

“Man, what a dreamer.”

“But she really was good, you know? She was good at studying, kind, and worked hard to meet my father’s expectations. But when she started high school, she got a boyfriend.”

Seungpyo thought it was just like their story. He hadn’t been interested in girlfriends or dating until middle school. No matter how pretty a girl was, no matter how much other kids teased him, he only saw them as friends, but he never would have guessed he’d meet someone he liked for the first time after entering an all-boys high school.

This feeling couldn’t be stopped by force. Even if it looked clumsy, immature, and unripe like an unripe fruit in the eyes of adults, those who held a passionate heart in their chests didn’t know any other form of passion beyond this. He couldn’t force a growing fruit to wither.

“My father taught us since we were young that dating and such should be done after we become adults, but my sister got caught dating. Her grades never slipped and she never neglected her studies because she had a boyfriend… But even so, my father got incredibly angry.”

“…….”

“He hit my sister. Not with a cane like me, but just relentlessly. I was still in elementary school back then… I couldn’t do anything even as I watched my sister get hit like that. My mother tried to stop him, but it was no use because my father was so angry. My sister probably never imagined he’d get that angry.”

Seungpyo, who had been listening silently, blurted out as if he couldn’t stand it anymore.

“Man, your father is such a psycho.”

“My sister yelled at me while she was getting hit by my father. She asked why I was just standing there watching and told me to get lost… It was the first time my sister had ever spoken to me like that.”

“…….”

“She came into her room crying… I understand her feelings better now than I did then. How embarrassed must she have been? I was too ashamed to tell you, but to be in that situation in front of her younger brother, who was still in elementary school…”

Jaemin’s eyes, which had been patting Seungpyo and telling him not to cry, became moist. Now it was Seungpyo who leaned towards Jaemin and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. Jaemin leaned his head slightly against Seungpyo’s body and continued.

“We used to be much closer, but we became awkward after that day. It’s not bad now, but there’s a distance… It’s hard to recover once you drift apart.”

“Your sister offered to send you money, right?”

“Yeah, my sister knows what kind of people our parents are, so she gave me a spare phone and tried to send me money. She was really happy when I told her I ran away.”

“Things will get better. After we graduate and start working like your sister.”

I wonder if they will? I hope so. Jaemin nodded and narrowed his eyes at the increasingly bright sunlight. While they were gazing at the sky together for a moment, Seungpyo suddenly gasped and flinched.

“Did you get hit because they found out you were dating me?”

“No, this was because I pushed my father’s rage button.”

“How?”

“He kept trying to force me to go to boarding school, so when I said that him having a successful son who’s better than others wouldn’t make him win against his friends…”

Instead of answering, Seungpyo sighed with an “Ah…” expression. Jaemin gave a wry smile as if embarrassed.

“I know I was harsh.”

“No, what was harsh? If you attacked him with facts, he should’ve retaliated with words, not actual violence. You did nothing wrong.”

The sun had now completely risen above the horizon, taking its proper round shape. The sky, which had been completely covered in vermilion, was gradually regaining its usual blue color.

The waves, carrying the light split into tens of thousands of pieces, rolled in. Facing the beautiful scenery, Seungpyo sighed and lowered his head.

“I’m so embarrassed that I used to be like your father.”

“You? When?”

“When I was jealous of you and wanted to win against you after finding your weakness, I acted cowardly towards you at first.”

Seungpyo’s face was flushed with belated shame, but it wasn’t very noticeable because of the sunrise light. Jaemin shrugged nonchalantly.

“It can’t be helped. I’m talented, so everyone wants to knock me down at least once. If I had really been unlucky, rumors would have spread throughout the school before I even knew my phone had been switched. Even the kids I’m close with would have giggled just like everyone else if such rumors spread.”

As the world brightened, Jaemin’s brow furrowed slightly. His eyes trembled as if facing a frightening darkness, and his gaze fell to the end of the sandy beach.

“I knew… that I was doing something really dangerous.”

There were many ways to escape from a stifling daily life, but Ryu Jaemin had chosen the method at the very bottom, one that invited all kinds of harassment, ridicule, and contempt.

The real Ryu Jaemin hated losing and couldn’t tolerate being looked down upon. But when he saw all the dirty words added to his anonymous photos, he felt a strange thrill. Watching everyone’s acknowledged top student and model student being trampled and denied by vulgar taunts felt refreshing, as if it wasn’t about him, and he even felt a sense of revenge against his parents by putting himself in a situation that would most despair them, ironically.

Looking back on his feelings at that time, it felt like a dark swamp or a maze. When Oh Seungpyo had gotten angry and said he should value himself more, he had been bewildered, thinking Seungpyo was talking nonsense without knowing anything, but now he understood what he meant.

Feelings of anger, sorrow, or injustice were always something he had to bear alone. When he was young, he used to complain to his sister, but when they did, they whispered in low voices, which added to the anxiety even as they talked. As he became distant from his sister, he didn’t even have anyone to talk to about those things.

The second phone he secretly received from his sister, the SNS account he created in secret, the photos with his face hidden. With no one to share the burden of anxiety, only unsettling secrets piled up, and as the things he hid increased, his anxiety grew with the weight of each secret.

When he first created an SNS account and uploaded nude photos, watching vulgar insults and harassment from strangers being added to his photos one by one, Jaemin often imagined the moment his secret acts at the bottom would be exposed or discovered.

How terrible the criticism and contempt from those who knew him would be, and how thrilling it would be to face the expressions of his parents, plunged into despair and shame because of him. Even though in reality, he had neither the courage to reveal himself nor the courage to defy his parents.

A shiver ran down his spine as he looked back on his past dangerous and gloomy feelings that might have truly dragged him to the bottom. If the person who picked up his phone hadn’t been Oh Seungpyo, things might have gotten much worse.

“I think I’ll probably be like that for the rest of my life. I was born with a lot, but I also hate losing, and I’m proud and want to succeed, so there will probably be many people who resent me.”

“…….”

“So… I hope you’ll stay with me.”

Jaemin murmured, his eyes slightly reddened with embarrassment.

If Oh Seungpyo was there, Ryu Jaemin could love himself. He could cherish himself. If only the feeling of Seungpyo’s lips on his bruised calves could remain his forever, he could find courage. He was no longer afraid of anything.

“I won’t leave even if you chase me away.”

Seungpyo said firmly as if stating the obvious. Their hands, which had been spread out on the sand, intertwined again. Jaemin turned his head, and Seungpyo met his gaze seriously.

“What are you going to do now? You’re coming to my house, right?”

Jaemin sank into deep thought, then quickly shook his head.

“No, that’s too unrealistic. I have to go home. And if I live with you, I feel like we’ll be playing and having sex all the time and I won’t be able to study properly.”

“Go home? If you go home, that psycho will beat you again.”

“I just won’t get hit.”

Jaemin’s answer was surprisingly simple. Seungpyo blinked, and Jaemin added calmly.

“You said your brother got drunk and fought with your father, hitting each other, right? Actually, my father can’t beat me physically anymore. I let him win. Because they’re my parents. I tried to love them.”

Oh Seungpyo had said he didn’t mind losing to Jaemin. Because he loved him. Ryu Jaemin also tried to think that way. Even when he was angry, frustrated, or sad, he always chose to be the one who lost. He had been doing that since he was young, like inertia. But because they were his parents. Because they were his family. Because he had to love them.

“I’m going to stop now.”

“You mean you’re going to fight your father?”

“When he tells me to come into the study, I won’t go in, and if he takes out the cane, I’ll snatch it and throw it away. Want to bet? I bet he won’t be able to do anything else. He’s been taking me lightly because I haven’t resisted properly until now.”

Seungpyo couldn’t hide his skeptical look. But Jaemin’s expression as he looked out at the sea was becoming more and more serene.

“The fortunate thing is that at least my parents and I want the same thing. I want to be more successful than my father. My sister decided not to live the way my father wanted, but I can continue down the path they want. So they can’t abandon me even if I disobey them. I’m their last hope.”

A faint smile touched Jaemin’s lips. Seungpyo thought he had seen this expression somewhere before.

“I’ve decided what to do today. I’ll become their flawless finished product. And when they think they’ve achieved everything, I’ll break.”

“…Break? How?”

“Of course, I don’t mean I’ll literally break. I’ll be fine, but I’ll make them feel that way. Just telling them I’m dating a guy will make my parents wail and cry, calling me crazy.”

When Seungpyo remained silent with a dubious expression, Jaemin frowned as if belatedly concerned.

“Does this make it seem like I’m using you? I just said what came to mind, and if you don’t like it, I’ll think of another way.”

“No, I don’t mind, but when are you going to tell them?”

“It’ll take a long time. I’ll have to go to college, get a job, and become a respectable son they can brag about before it’s possible, right? So, Oh Seungpyo, you have to stay by my side until then. That’s the only way this plan will succeed.”

“Then it’s still a long way off. You have to succeed in your life first.”

True to his diligent, model student nature, his revenge plan was nothing if not long-term and constructive. Seungpyo chuckled and firmly grasped Jaemin’s hand.

Even though he was smiling in the sunlight, there was a coldness to his expression, just like the Ryu Jaemin who had stared at him after pretending to cry when his secret was first discovered. Back then, he had thought the guy who acted without changing his expression was creepy.

“The sun has completely risen.”

A warm and bright smile finally appeared on his cold face. Jaemin stretched his legs out on the sand as if reluctant to leave.

“I feel like we didn’t even properly watch the sunrise because we were talking the whole time.”

“The sun will rise tomorrow too, but our conversation is more important.”

Under the round sun that had completely risen above the horizon, a straight path of golden light appeared on the calm surface of the sea. Like stepping stones that would lead straight to the sun if he walked along them.

Although it didn’t seem like they had only talked about hopeful things, perhaps due to the magic of the morning sun, both of their expressions were light. Seungpyo got up.

“Let’s go into the water since we’re here.”

“Now?”

“It’s already getting hot since the sun’s up.”

Seungpyo took off his t-shirt and tossed it carelessly onto the dry sand. His tanned, toned body, more tanned than during the school semester, glowed healthily in the newly risen sunlight. It was a pleasant sight, but Jaemin frowned.

“Why are you suddenly taking your clothes off anywhere?”

“Would I go into the sea with my clothes on?”

“I’ll let it slide since there’s no one here now.”

Seungpyo chuckled and then ran to the beach, splashing into the sea, kicking the water. It looked as if he was trying to run along the golden path leading to the sun. Unfamiliar with the sea, Jaemin felt awkward taking his clothes off like Seungpyo. After hesitating, he eventually followed Seungpyo without taking his clothes off.

Although they had enjoyed playing in the water yesterday, the feeling of immersing himself directly into the sea with his bare skin was different from floating on a boat on the river. As he took off his shoes and dipped his feet in, soft sand seeped between his toes, and the waves, washing over him, pleasantly caressed his bare feet and shins in a steady rhythm.

As Jaemin stood still, looking down at his legs submerged in the sea, Seungpyo, already soaked, swam over and asked with concern,

“Are your legs okay? The salt water might sting.”

“It’s fine. It’s bruised, but there are no open wounds.”

“Then come further in! It’s not cold at all.”

Finally, Jaemin moved. The small beach became deeper than it looked. Unconcerned about his clothes getting wet, Jaemin submerged himself in the water and swam slowly, feeling his chest open up at the sight of the vast ocean spread before him.

Seungpyo, who was ahead, deliberately kicked hard, splashing a lot of water.

“Hey!”

Jaemin laughed brightly even as he complained. Seungpyo chuckled and changed direction, diving and swimming towards Jaemin behind him.

They faced each other under the shadeless sky. Water droplets clinging to their hair, eyelashes, and exposed skin caught the bright light.

The sky where the golden light of sunrise hadn’t yet faded, the sea sparkling with reflected sunlight, and even Ryu Jaemin, smiling.

Seungpyo narrowed his dazed eyes. He had never experienced a moment where everything in the world sparkled so brightly. He would never forget this light, no matter how much time passed.

His heart was so full that it was hard to stay still. When he kissed Jaemin’s water-drenched eyelashes, Jaemin blinked once and opened his eyes as if ticklish.

“It’s been a while since I’ve been in the sea, it’s so refreshing.”

“Right. The water’s clearest at this time.”

Looking at Jaemin’s face, raising his voice excitedly, Seungpyo made a silent promise.

You say you’re not, but what if you really break while I’m not there?

So I have to stay by your side.

They didn’t come out of the water, dripping, and write their names on the sand until the red hue of the sun faded and the sky and sea turned completely blue. They wrote their names, Oh Seungpyo and Ryu Jaemin, in large letters, enclosed them in a heart, and scribbled other little things like ‘Oh♡Ryu.’

They giggled, wondering what would happen if someone recognized their mess on the beach, then left the cleanup to the incoming tide and started walking. His grandmother would be waiting for them to return. It was time to end their short escape.

Water droplets fell with each step on their way back. Seungpyo, shaking his hair, spoke.

“If you’re really going back home, let’s prepare a few small things before you go.”

“What preparations?”

“You say your father won’t be able to hit you anymore, but I’m worried.”

Top student Ryu Jaemin had made a macroscopic, long-term plan, but second-place Oh Seungpyo decided to supplement it with a more short-term, immediate strategy.

Jaemin looked at Seungpyo with curious eyes.

📚

The model student’s first runaway was short and impactful.

After finishing the breakfast their grandmother prepared, the two enjoyed swimming in the sea once again, sat on the veranda and ate a whole watermelon, and didn’t leave her house until well past lunchtime.

“Come again anytime. You too, friend.”

Jaemin bowed his head to his grandmother as she said goodbye.

“Thank you. I’ll come again.”

“I’ll come again, Grandma.”

Their grandmother, who had followed them to the gate, stood rooted to the spot, seeing them off. Even when Seungpyo gestured for her to go back in, she only gestured back, telling them to go quickly, and finally disappeared from sight as they turned the corner. Jaemin murmured apologetically.

“She must be sad that we’re leaving so soon.”

“There’s no other way if we’re going back home. You’re going to supplementary classes from Monday, aren’t you?”

“Yeah.”

It was called running away, but from an objective perspective, it was just an ordinary two-day, one-night trip for two boys.

Arriving at the terminal, Seungpyo began to implement his small plan. First, while waiting for the bus, he called the number Jaemin had given him. The other side must have been anxious as well, because the call connected before the ringing even finished.

―Hello.

Now that the call was connected, he felt a bit nervous, as it was hard to predict the reaction. But Seungpyo started speaking in the most innocent boyish voice he could muster, pretending to be completely oblivious.

“Hello. Is this Ryu Jaemin’s father?”

The answer didn’t come immediately. Sensing the slight bewilderment, Seungpyo introduced himself first.

“Hello. I’m Oh Seungpyo, a classmate of Jaemin’s.”

―Ah… Student Oh Seungpyo? I think you found a lost item for us before, is that right?

The fact that both of Jaemin’s parents remembered Oh Seungpyo’s name was a small gain from the previous phone incident.

He probably rarely received sudden calls from his son’s friends. Despite that, Ryu Jaemin’s father responded quite naturally.

Seungpyo scoffed inwardly at the voice and tone that naturally brought to mind a benevolent and intellectual image. If he hadn’t seen the marks of the beating on Jaemin’s calves, if he hadn’t heard the full story from Jaemin, he would have thought of him as a kind and intelligent father, just like he had when he first met Ryu Jaemin’s mother.

“Yes, that’s right. You sent my phone to the school before we started sophomore year.”

―So how did you get my number?

He probably expected the reason for the call, having heard the general story from Jaemin’s sister, but he didn’t ask first. Seungpyo answered naturally.

“Actually, Jaemin asked me to call you on his behalf. He said he doesn’t have his phone right now.”

―I see.

“At first, I thought he was joking, but what Jaemin said… he said he ran away from home.”

As expected, there was no immediate response to his carefully worded statement. Only a troubled sigh was faintly heard, as if he didn’t know what to say. Trying to understand his feelings, as he probably didn’t want to tell anyone outside the family about his son’s “running away,” Seungpyo continued.

“I was at home when I got the call, and I was so surprised that I came to pick up Jaemin.”

―Are you close with our Jaemin?

“We’re best friends in our class. And since I’m the class president, I felt like I had to come when a classmate ran away from home.”

―What’s Jaemin doing now?

“We’re waiting for the bus together. I thought it would be counterproductive to make him go home right away, so we spent the day together. I took him out to get some fresh air since he seemed really stressed. I persuaded him to go back today, and he agreed to go home.”

He sensed a feeling of relief at the mention of going home. Only then did his words become longer.