Guest Ch 26

Mixed Perspectives, Misdirected Emotions (3)

*

As soon as I saw the multi-family row houses made of red brick, my heart started to race. My mind was on the verge of exploding because of my fast strides and Lee Yiseon. This isn’t the kind of dirty joke friends tell while drinking. This isn’t the kind of situation where you can giggle and joke about something like a wet dream over drinks.

The three men will seriously analyze the contents of the dream, with me right in front of them.

‘Why did Lee Yiseon have s3x with Prophet?’

‘S3x in a flower field? So, how far in the future is that?’

‘If their relationship has progressed to the point of having s3x, that means there’s a significant level of trust. Should they now trust and follow each other as a team?’

‘More importantly, what kind of s3x does Lee Yiseon want?’

Just imagining the Doctor seriously writing down such nonsense on paper made my vision go white. I could easily picture how much he would pry into my dreams, given how thoroughly he’s documented every tiny detail about Prophet.

And they will probably pass that nonsense around. What will people think when they see it?

‘The last Prophet is sleeping with a man. And that man is Blue Hawk, the one we’re constantly fighting.’

Ah… that’s the worst-case scenario.

“Hey, let’s talk for a minute.”

Black Foot walking ahead of me turns around. I grabbed Lee Yiseon’s wrist and pulled him toward me, asking Black Foot.

“Go ahead inside.”

Black Foot looked at Lee Yiseon. When he silently asked what to do, Lee Yiseon gave a slight nod. It was a signal to go in first.

Without any hesitation, Black Foot climbed the stairs. Only after I heard the sound of the door on the second floor opening and closing did I release the hand I had been gripping so tightly.

“Lee Yiseon.”

He didn’t respond to my call. He remained still, as calm as if he were perched on a ledge, silently observing his prey. The man, whose blue-tinged coat and famous marksmanship earned him the nickname ‘Blue Hawk.’ If this man in front of me is the ‘beast’ my grandmother spoke of who would help me, then it means I’m destined to have s3x with the person will help me in the future.

If I’m going to have foresight, couldn’t it at least be useful, like giving me the lottery numbers from my original world? Instead, I’m stuck with this utterly useless, garbage information. It’s maddening.

“I don’t want to talk about my dream… in front of others.”

Sure enough, Lee Yiseon tilted his head and asked.

“Why?”

You really don’t care about exposing your private life, do you? This isn’t the kind of situation where you can just laugh it off as a dream. It’s clearly a precognitive dream, and they’ll analyze every tiny detail. I can’t do that. I’m someone who knows what shame is.

“Th-th-th, s3x… Ugh, that’s a personal matter.”

I couldn’t bring myself to say the word ‘s3x’ while looking at Lee Yiseon’s face. It seems like I’m the only one who’s this conscious of it. Lee Yiseon, on the other hand, seemed puzzled by my reaction.

“What’s wrong with that?”

Ugh… Where do I even begin?

Yiseon, listen carefully. First of all, biologically, you and I are both men. How can we have sex that has nothing to do with reproduction? Culturally, no matter how devastated this world has become, we’re still in Korea, which is rooted in Confucian values. How can we do something that violates those principles, huh? Sociologically, I’m someone who has to care about interpersonal relationships, and I’m terrified of the negative attention that same-sex relationships, which aren’t widely accepted in our society, would bring. Morally, let’s not even go there. I’m more innocent than I look. I’ve never even been in a proper relationship. I can’t casually talk about sleeping with someone I have no feelings for.

Do I have to spell all this out for you? Are you stupid?

“I really don’t want others to know. It was a very personal dream.”

I looked at him earnestly. My wish was only half granted.

“I’ll listen and decide how personal it is. Tell me first.”

So now I have to explain everything, right in front of the person involved. Well, this is probably better than doing it in front of everyone else.

I bit my lip again. I hope you’ll feel at least a little embarrassed after hearing my story.

No, actually, maybe it’s better this way. It’s probably better for one of us to stay shameless instead of both of us blushing and feeling awkward. Yeah. Thanks for being so casual about it. I should be grateful, after all.

I finally managed to speak.

“We, we were lying in a flower field, and you kissed me, touched me, took off my clothes, and th-th-th, s3x… Ugh, we did it.”

Ahhh! I want to scream and punch the wall!

“Did I force you?”

Fine, let’s see this through. I took a deep breath, trying my best to suppress my emotions.

“I don’t think so.”

“So, you liked it too?”

“I-I guess it was consensual.”

“What’s the chance it wasn’t a precognitive dream?”

“…How would I know?”

“Didn’t you say the flower field was the same as the one in the dream with your grandmother? Two dreams in the same place. Was your grandmother’s dream something you could just brush off?”

That wasn’t it. Anyone could tell it was special. I shook my head, and Lee Yiseon continued.

“You don’t seem confident in your dreams, so I’ll tell you. The wild dogs who used to have the previous Prophet are convinced of your abilities. They believe your foresight is tied to your dreams, and they’ve been preparing for it.”

They even prepared drugs to prevent me from regaining my senses. They really seemed to believe that I was someone who had precognitive dreams.

I wasn’t sure what convinced them, but I nodded anyway. Lee Yiseon voiced his thoughts without holding back in a cool tone.

“Then, I guess the s3x between you and me could also be a precognitive dream.”

Lee Yiseon approached me with long strides. Startled by his sudden movement, I took a step back. He didn’t seem to like the fact that I was putting distance between us.

“Why do you look like that? You don’t seem to like the idea of me as your s3x partner.”

Whether I liked it or not, shouldn’t you be just as embarrassed by the mere possibility of us doing something like that? Why are you so calm? Ah, maybe s3x really is as meaningless in this world as I think.

I heard that it’s been two years since a child was last born in the fortress. The youngest child is ten years old, and Toya personally teaches him archery. Since coming here, I haven’t seen a single woman besides Toya. I wonder if women live in completely separate areas.

It seems that men and women are so thoroughly separated that men defend the fortress while women are responsible for agricultural production.

Perhaps the people here have given up on reproduction. S3x, having lost its reproductive function, no longer contributes to survival and is likely to be rejected.

“What do they think of s3x here?”

“It’s something you do with someone you like. You know that much.”

So, the value hasn’t changed. I thought something small but important might have shifted, like how only lovers use formal language with each other.

“It’s a precious act you do with someone you like, right?”

“Obviously.”

“Then why aren’t you bothered? The other person is me. I’m not someone you like.”

He paused at those words. He seemed to focus on the fact that the other person was me, not someone else. His eyes scrutinized my face. Once again, I was left with all the embarrassment. Avoiding his intense gaze, I heard him mutter.

“I’ve never liked anyone before, so I never thought about it that far.”

He slowly turned his back. As he climbed the stairs, he spoke in a voice so quiet it was barely audible.

“Don’t talk about having s3x with me.”

It was the answer I had been waiting for, but I couldn’t feel relieved. Lee Yiseon, who hadn’t given s3x much thought, now attached meaning to it. It was as if he had learned a feeling he would have passed over without understanding had I not explained it.

…Is this really okay?

“What are you doing, not coming up?”

I looked up at him standing on the stairs with complicated feelings. I felt strange, grappling with unfamiliar emotions I had never experienced before. It wasn’t the same as feeling embarrassed or ashamed. It was a feeling where my right fingertips trembled slightly, and cold sweat formed.

…No. I convinced myself that my right shoulder was just sore, and that’s why my fingertips were shaking.

It was easier to believe that.