Guest Ch 30

Mixed Perspectives, Misdirected Emotions (7)

“You shouldn’t get water into the wound on your neck. I’ll at least wash your hair.”

I had talked about needing help in the bath, but I never imagined he would devote himself to me to this extent.

“Why have you been so self-conscious since earlier?”

Damn, I really don’t know anymore. Lee Yiseon doesn’t seem bothered at all, but it hurts my pride that I’m the only one feeling awkward. I unzipped the pants I had been fiddling with in my hands.

Ziiip.

Still, I didn’t have the confidence to be completely naked, so I stepped into the bathtub in my underwear.

“Ugh, it’s cold.”

I shivered as I slowly lowered myself into the water.

“I’m not going to catch a cold, right?”

Hearing me mutter to myself, Lee Yiseon smirked.

“Stop whining.”

Lee Yiseon wrapped both hands around my neck.

“Lean back toward me.”

As I slowly leaned back, the water that had been lapping at my calves swelled as if it would overflow. Still not used to the cold water, my body stiffened in tension, and I felt Lee Yiseon’s hands touch my shoulders and back.

“Don’t lower your head, or water will get into your wound. Move up a little higher.”

I obediently followed his instructions. Lee Yiseon started to lather up some natural soap that smelled like herbal medicine. His hand, wetting my hair, was softer than I had expected. It was as comforting as getting a service at a salon. As I grew accustomed to the cold water, my tension gradually eased.

“Did you used to have s3x often?”

My eyes flew open, startled. In my blurred vision, I could only see Lee Yiseon’s black hair swaying slightly.

“Are you asking me?”

When I asked in disbelief, he responded while running his fingers through my soapy hair.

“Well, who else is here besides you?”

“What kind of question is that?”

“I’m curious.”

“You’re curious about other people’s s3x lives?”

“I’m curious how often you did it with your lover.”

“You’re asking in the wrong order. Shouldn’t you first ask if I even have a lover?”

The hand that had been smoothing my hair paused. Then, as it resumed, I heard a voice filled with surprise.

“You don’t have a lover? You look like you would.”

“What do you mean, ‘look like I would’?”

“You seem like you’re used to being loved.”

“I don’t know what kind of image you’ve built of me, but that’s not the case.”

“Hm. Why didn’t you date?”

I couldn’t help but chuckle at Lee Yiseon’s question. It felt strange and amusing to be having such a conversation with him.

“I never really had the chance to date. I barely graduated high school, and as soon as I started college, I went straight to the military after the first semester. I didn’t have time to make friends, let alone have a girlfriend.”

The sound of the water gently lapping against the side of the tub was soothing. Just as soothing was the sound of Lee Yiseon’s voice as it filled my ears.

“Why didn’t you graduate?”

“I had a lot of trouble with my major. It was a time when my mental strength was really weak, so I ended up taking a year off. I became a mess.”

“You had a major in high school?”

“I was in the arts and physical education.”

“I don’t think it was in physical education. Was it music or art?”

“Music…”

I belatedly opened my eyes. It was still difficult for me to talk about my past. Even when I tried to explain it casually, something always stopped me.

I stared up at the high ceiling for a while and let out a short sigh.

“It’s nothing. I just got stressed because I wasn’t talented.”

I glossed over it. Lee Yiseon didn’t pry for more details. He just scooped water with a bowl and washed away the foam.

“There are no musicians or artists in the world we live in. You won’t ever have to listen to music, and there aren’t any paintings left to appreciate, so don’t stress over it.”

Is that supposed to be comforting? Shouldn’t we be mourning the bleak and barren reality instead? It’s funny how you speak about the tragedy as if it doesn’t concern you. I chuckled with my eyes closed.

“I like idol songs.”

“Idol. It’s been a long time since I’ve heard that word.”

“Want me to play you some songs I downloaded on my phone? I’ve updated it with all the latest hits.”

“Be honest. You’re not dating because you’re too busy chasing idols, right?”

“You sound like my mom.”

“Do you get food just because you like that stuff?”

“Wow, you’re so old-fashioned. What’s wrong with not focusing on dating because I’m too busy enjoying my idols?”

“So, you j3rk off to them instead? Is that why you don’t have a s3x life?”

Wow, he’s really crossing a line now. I frowned and looked up at Lee Yiseon. His delicate touch as he wiped the foam from my forehead had felt nice, but of course, he had to ruin the mood. Thanks to him, I responded sharply.

“I don’t think about my idols like that. And why do you keep bringing up s3x?”

Even though I challenged him, he responded in a lighthearted tone, as if he found it amusing.

“You look like someone who likes s3x.”

“What? Why would you say that?”

“You look sexy. I thought you were doing it on purpose.”

Once again, I started questioning my Korean comprehension. What’s he saying? It’s Korean, but why does none of it make sense?

“Who looks sexy? Me? Where? What are you even looking at?”

His reply was casual.

“You look like you’ve done everything. That’s why I found it strange that you were agonizing for days over a dream about sleeping with a man. I thought you were pretending to be innocent.”

My jaw dropped. I blinked for a while, then turned my head slightly. I turned my soapy head to look at Lee Yiseon directly. The sound of water splashing filled my ears, and the cool water lapped at my skin, but there was no room to feel comforted by those refreshing sounds right now.

“What do you mean? Did you think I lied about my dream to trick you because I ‘look like I’ve done everything’?”

At those words, Lee Yiseon brought his wet hand to my face. I heard the soft plop of water droplets falling into the tub as they ran down his wrist, but he was still touching my lips with his damp fingers.

“Well, what do you think I thought?”

The fingers touching my lips were hot. Shocked by the warmth, I couldn’t say a word. Lee Yiseon watched me for a long time, his fingers tracing my lips, before pulling his hand away. Instead of my lips, he now cradled my wet hair. He guided me to lie back straight in the tub again and whispered.

“From now on, tell me about all of your dreams.”

“Well, of course. But what I’m curious about is…”

“I’ll observe under what conditions you have precognitive dreams. I’ll be watching you while you sleep for a while.”

“I said I understood.”

“I don’t want you having bad dreams and foreseeing a bad future. I hope you only have good dreams.”

Why does he keep changing the subject? Lee Yiseon just stared at me curiously, watching my puzzled expression.

Drip.

The sound of water droplets falling from the end of the water tank into the tub echoed, and only then did he speak again.

“I’m curious about how far and in what way you’ll dream about me.”

Damn, we’ve already had s3x, what more is there to dream about?

I forced my chin down, afraid my face might flush, and spoke.

“I can’t choose what I dream about.”

“Well, you’ll have to work on that.”

“…How?”

As I pulled away a little, Lee Yiseon extended his hand toward me. This time, he held out his palm, as if telling me to take it. He waited for me to place my hand in his, like someone waiting for a gesture of trust.

“Just remember the things that make you feel good. Think only about happy things. Have good dreams. I’ll help you end your day like that. Trust me and follow me from now on.”

It sounded like a romantic confession. When I put my hand in his gently outstretched palm, it truly felt like Lee Yiseon would protect me until the end in this barren world.

But his attitude left me with so many questions. The way he’s treated me up until now hasn’t exactly inspired trust, and there are plenty of moments I could look back on and ask, ‘Why did you do that?’

How much can I trust that Lee Yiseon, with his personality, will genuinely help me with everything? He’s always been the type to prioritize usefulness, saying, ‘Everyone has to pull their weight.’

And yet, here he is, as if I’m some Sleeping Beauty, offering to prioritize my comfort. Honestly, I would’ve found it more believable if he’d stuck with his typical tone, threatening or pressuring me.

Lee Yiseon, you’re really confusing me. It feels like there’s some strange, impure emotion mixed in with your plan to use me as a Prophet. What exactly do you think of me? How do you want us to get along?

After staring at his hand for a long time, I carefully took it. His strong hand gripped mine tightly. As I felt the warmth of his hand filling my palm, I slowly opened my mouth.

“Okay.”

I may not trust him completely, but I can at least pretend to and see what he’s thinking.

“Take care of me, Lee Yiseon.”

He stood up with a satisfied expression.

“Finish up and come out. There’s a towel under the tub, use that.”

Lee Yiseon glanced at my translucent body in the water once before turning away. Without saying anything more, he walked out of the large warehouse. I blinked as the sound of his boots faded, and I heard the large iron door creak open and close behind him.

After he left, I touched the lips where his hand had been. I could still vividly feel the rough texture of his fingers, so different from my own.

A strand of hair that he had washed fell across my forehead. A single droplet of water clung to the tip of the damp hair, then fell, creating a ripple in the still water. That small ripple stirred the water for quite some time.

For quite some time.