TG Ch 5 Part 7

“Back then, I truly hated s*x guiding. I didn’t like the idea of being forced to do it just because I was an Esper.”

“I see.”

Sijin nodded slowly. It wasn’t uncommon to encounter Espers who were against s*x guiding. It was understandable to feel aversion towards an intimate act they didn’t consent to.

Yoo Seunghwa continued, her voice steady. “My Guide was part of the same intelligence team as me. He was always concerned about me because I refused guiding. Thanks to him, my wave readings were always stable, but I continued to reject any form of physical guiding.”

Sijin listened patiently. The ice beneath their feet glistened, the surface slowly melting under the warm sun. Even in its thawing state, it was beautiful. He wished Yoo Seunghwa could find the same beauty in her own situation. He suddenly felt a little sentimental. 

“Then, a year after I became an A-rank Esper, I almost lost control while subduing a monster. Everyone evacuated… except for my Guide. He disobeyed orders and stayed by my side.”

“…During an A-rank Esper’s potential outburst?”

“Yes.”

The story sent a chill down Sijin’s spine. An A-rank Esper’s outburst. The uncontrolled release of the same power that could freeze this massive lake.

To think her imprinted Guide defied orders and risked his life to stay by her side.

“I had given up on controlling my power, but my Guide stayed and tried to guide me until the very end. And I stopped.”

“…..”

“He lost his arm to frostbite, but when I woke up, he smiled at me.”

“…My god.”

Sijin was speechless. According to the records, Yoo Seunghwa’s imprinted Guide was a B-rank. A B-rank Guide had faced a catastrophic situation alone to save her. He finally understood why Yoo Seunghwa, despite her icy exterior, had opened her heart to her Guide.

“That must have been when you decided to get imprinted with him.”

“Yes. A sense of guilt drove me to it.”

“Well… haha.”

Sijin forced a smile, flustered by her bluntness. His conversations with Yoo Seunghwa always seemed to take an unexpected turn.

He tried to steer her towards the root of her emotions. “If you didn’t love him, you wouldn’t have felt guilty. Perhaps you already had feelings for him before that incident.”

“Hmm… you’re right. Perhaps.”

Yoo Seunghwa nodded slowly, a hint of a smile on her face. Sijin wondered if she was simply inexperienced in understanding her own emotions.

He realized that Yoo Seunghwa hadn’t valued her life much in the past. To think she had given up on herself during the outburst… Despite her secrets, her vulnerability was evident. Knowing how difficult it was for Espers, Sijin felt a pang of sympathy for her.

They stood on the frozen lake, gazing down at the water beneath the ice. A large fish, its mouth opening and closing, swam beneath them. It felt wrong, standing on this frozen expanse.

Then, Yoo Seunghwa asked softly, “I’d like to hear about you as well, Doctor.” 

Snapping out of his reverie, Sijin looked at her.

Her face was expressionless, but her question was sincere. He sensed a strange kinship with her.

“Do you carry guilt like I do, Doctor?” 

“…What?” 

She was as curious about him as she had been during their last meeting. Sijin chuckled awkwardly, shaking his head. “I don’t think so. I don’t have a dramatic story like yours, or any… guilt.”

He paused, his heart skipping a beat. Guilt. The word triggered a wave of buried memories.

‘It’ll be okay. Someone… Someone will come. It’ll be okay…’

He remembered the helplessness he’d felt, watching someone he cared about bleed to death in his arms, offering nothing but empty reassurances.

The self-loathing he felt, being unable to save someone precious to him, was still a raw wound buried deep inside. He had buried himself in work, avoiding any introspection.

But he couldn’t let his emotions surface now. Though his eyes betrayed his turmoil, he couldn’t let it show in front of a patient. He steadied his voice and said, “I was… actually the one who was saved. Esper Ham Geonwu is the one I owe my life to.” 

“Owe your life to?”

“Yes. He… He saved me from an accident a long time ago.”

Yoo Seunghwa fell silent. She stared at him for a long moment, then asked, “Captain Jeong Taeyul must have been there, too.”

“What?”

Sijin was taken aback by the unexpected question. Jeong Taeyul? He chuckled and shook his head. “I’m not sure. I met Guide Jeong Taeyul for the first time here at the Center.” 

“The first time?”

Yoo Seunghwa’s gaze was piercing. Sijin looked back at her, confused. Her sharp eyes seemed to see right through him. He felt her grip on his hand tighten.

He forced a smile, trying to ease the tension. Anyone would be uncomfortable under such scrutiny, especially from a skilled intelligence agent known for her ability to extract information.

After a long silence, Yoo Seunghwa spoke, “You’re not lying.”

“…Haha, why would I lie?” 

“You’re right.” 

She replied flatly, her earlier smile gone. Sijin felt a familiar unease, the same he’d felt during their first meeting.

She then added, her voice low, “You’re not the type to lie, after all.”

There was a subtle undertone to her words that made Sijin’s forced smile falter. The honesty of their earlier conversation suddenly felt like a facade.

He tried to lighten the mood with a forced chuckle. “Esper Yoo Seunghwa, I’m not in a position to offer any advice, but… the fact that you want to improve your situation suggests that it’s not hopeless.” 

“…..” 

“If you need anything, please let me know. I can arrange a separate consultation or even a joint session with your Guide.”

“Yes. Thank you.”

Yoo Seunghwa expressed her gratitude, her voice subdued. She even offered him a small smile. She seemed more at ease than before. He offered her words of encouragement. “I envy you. I think you’d do anything for your imprinted Guide.”

He knew that Yoo Seunghwa had been imprinted with her Guide for over five years.

Five years of carrying each other’s energy in their hearts. For imprinted Espers and Guides, the longer the bond lasted, the less it became about obsession and the more it resembled a vital organ, or even a part of themselves.

Sijin wanted to believe it was love, but he wondered if Yoo Seunghwa, with her icy exterior, felt the same.

“Yes,” she replied quietly, her face solemn. 

“I would do anything for my woman^[1].”

***

After seeing Yoo Seunghwa off, Sijin headed back to the examination room. He planned to check on Jeong Taeyul’s readings, finalize his lecture materials, then head out again. Why did his trainee lecture have to be today, of all days? Blaming his tight schedule, he entered the examination room.

He had barely settled into his seat when he received a message.

– Incoming video call: Kwon Jiwon –

[Kwon Jiwon: This hyung found the data you wanted lol]

Sijin checked the time. 1:30 PM. He had to leave by 2:00 PM. He could download the data and get back to work for twenty minutes before leaving. He clicked the accept button.

– Video call with Kwon Jiwon accepted –

“Jiwon, I have to leave in twenty minutes.” 

Sijin said without even looking at the screen. Kwon Jiwon, occupying a corner of the screen, didn’t seem bothered. It was common knowledge that diagnostic examiners were always busy.

[Twenty minutes? You could have a meal and a nap in that time.]

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

Sijin chuckled tiredly, his hands busy navigating the mouse. 

Kwon Jiwon’s face filled the screen as he leaned closer. His droopy eyes and languid features were magnified. Sijin, still focused on his work, hadn’t noticed his friend’s concerned expression. 

[Aigoo… You look like you’ve lost half your weight.]

“I just finished the general checkups.”

[Already? Why so early? And you’re the only examiner there, right?] 

“Haha…. Just send me the data.”

Sijin laughed it off, his fingers flying across the keyboard. The junior examiner had prepared his lecture materials, but he still needed to review them.

Kwon Jiwon said triumphantly, [Knowing how busy our Dr. Baek is, I took the liberty of organizing the data for you.]

“What…? Jiwon hyung…”

[Yes, me.]

Sijin finally looked at the screen, his eyes wide with gratitude. 

“Do you need anything? When is your baby’s birthday again?”

[It’s already passed, you punk. Thanks for the walker, by the way.]

Kwon Jiwon chuckled, brushing off his friend’s clumsy attempt at flattery. They were close enough to not need such formalities.

He said, as he scanned through some documents:

[Here’s a quick rundown.]

“Okay.” 

[Hmm… Ability Users with telekinesis are rare, so their care is tricky. There’s no data on S-ranks, but there are a couple of A-ranks and B-ranks in the US. Hold on…]

“Wait, there’s no record of anyone reaching S-rank with telekinesis?”

[There’s a mention of Qin Shi Huang being an S-rank, but that’s about it.] 

“That’s absurd…” 

It was just a myth. Sijin sighed, a humorless laugh escaping his lips. Of all the rare abilities, Ham Geonwu had to be born with this…

As expected, data on rare abilities was scarce, making their care all the more challenging. It was like trying to raise a rare fish species in captivity.

Still, Sijin was determined to do his best for Ham Geonwu. He had come to the F12 Center to help him, after all. 

[There seems to be a pattern among Espers with telekinesis. Their wave energy fluctuates significantly throughout the day, gradually increasing in volume.] 

The graph displayed a wave-like pattern, the peaks and troughs becoming increasingly pronounced. It was evidence of his steadily growing power.

“Hmm, you’re right. Geonwu’s similar…” 

[Yeah. Because of the fluctuations, it’s crucial to manage his energy expenditure. In these cases, if the wave energy stagnates, it’s like poison building up in their system.]

“…So, if his management is even slightly off, the risk of an outburst is high.” 

[Exactly. He’s probably been stable thanks to… what was it? The structured environment of the Center and being around his childhood friend who’s also the same rank. If he didn’t have those, he’d probably have lost control by now.] 

“…..” 

With such drastic fluctuations, the risk of an outburst was naturally high. To think that such a pattern was inherent…

It was like telling Ham Geonwu, ‘You were born with high blood pressure, so you’re at a high risk of stroke~ Maintaining a healthy diet and exercise routine is essential~’ Sijin sighed.

[Looks like you got yourself a high-maintenance one.]

“Haa… hahaha.”

At Kwon Jiwon’s teasing, Sijin rubbed his forehead, laughing like a crazed scientist. It would have been one thing if it was a C-rank or a B-rank, someone whose outburst could be managed. But an A-rank on the verge of S-rank…

Sijin felt like he was holding a ticking time bomb. If he managed to help Ham Geonwu reach S-rank safely, it could mean a promotion for him. Or, it could mean everything blowing up in his face.

‘There’s no point in worrying… I just have to do my best.’

Sijin had no ambition for promotion anyway. His focus was on doing his job well. Maintaining an Ability User’s stability at A-rank was a challenging feat in itself. Reaching S-rank was the ambition of the Center and the nation, not his.