TG Ch 7(2) Part 5

Immediately, Sijin started bombarding Jeong Taeyul with questions about all the results. However, Jeong Taeyul firmly removed the device and dressed. Then, he grabbed Sijin’s waist, who was clinging to the results screen, and led him out. The situation unfolding in the dimly lit hallway was predictable.

“Just how did you do it?”

Sijin hurriedly followed Jeong Taeyul down the hall, asking. With the dreadful chart in his hand, he followed Taeyul like a baby duck, relentlessly showering him with questions.

“Do you perhaps feel a sense of satisfaction from strange behavior? Huh?”

“Strange behavior?”

Jeong Taeyul muttered with a playful sneer. Whether he scoffed or not, Sijin was already immersed in the strange phenomenon. With a desperate look, he relentlessly clung to Jeong Taeyul’s side, continuing his barrage of questions.

“Or do you feel psychologically fulfilled when you see the other person, or an ordinary person, surprised or flustered?”

“Well, I do now.”

“You can tell me anything honestly. Please!”

“Doctor Baek.”

Finally, Jeong Taeyul stopped abruptly and faced Sijin. With a subtle smile, he spoke as if soothing a child.

“The numbers dropped as you wanted. Let it go.”

“How can I let it go? Look here…”

This time, Sijin held up the chart. Jeong Taeyul’s simple readings, recorded during the examination, were visible. Among the complex abbreviations, Sijin pointed out one thing. At this moment, Sijin resembled a scientist obsessed with research.

“Here, the wave stability, which was consistently bad, has improved. The waves that were constantly clustered around your heart and shoulders have also dissipated a little. In just 3 minutes… no, 5 minutes of kissing.”

“Yes, we kissed.”

At the languid words, Sijin’s ears flushed hot. The blunt fact brought back the sensation of the tender kiss from just a moment ago. 

Sijin bit his lip, still warm from Taeyul’s touch, then showed him the unbelievable numbers on the chart and pleaded, “So, kissing definitely has an effect on stabilizing the readings. Please, cooperate with me.”

“……”

Jeong Taeyul’s smile slowly faded at Sijin’s blind persistence.

Gradually, his brow furrowed in its usual sharpness. He seemed displeased with something, and the atmosphere became increasingly tense. Only then did Sijin realize how gentle Jeong Taeyul’s demeanor had been until now.

However, this wasn’t the time to be concerned with Jeong Taeyul’s mood as usual. Sijin clicked his pen, preparing to take notes.

“Anything is fine, really. Just tell me what kind of emotional or physical changes you felt.”

“What?”

Jeong Taeyul asked with an empty laugh.

“When we kissed?”

“Yes, yes.”

“What about you?”

“…What?”

“Are you only interested in the numbers?”

Jeong Taeyul laughed hollowly. Was it Sijin’s imagination, or did his eyes look shaken? Taeyul seemed unstable, as if hurt. Before him, Sijin stared blankly upwards, eyes wide.

Of course, Sijin was curious about everything. From the reason behind the sudden change in readings to his emotional state, he wanted to know it all. Even whether he had felt similar emotions like Sijin had just a moment ago… Ah.

Only then did Sijin consider the situation from a different perspective. He was pressing for answers to questions that couldn’t be answered, especially not to someone he had just kissed.

‘…He must have been uncomfortable.’

Sijin finally regained his composure. He had been rude. Slowly, he lowered the pen onto the chart.

“I’m sorry. But… I just couldn’t ignore this.”

Sijin apologized, cautiously looking up at him. But Jeong Taeyul’s sneer had now completely faded, leaving a cold expression.

Seeing Sijin’s apologetic face, Jeong Taeyul started to say something.

“It’s just that I…”

Sijin’s eyes widened, waiting expectantly for his answer. Seeing his expression, Jeong Taeyul couldn’t help but let out a small laugh, then spoke as if joking.

“Just think of me as a mutant.”

“How can I do that? Jeong Taeyul…!”

Jeong Taeyul started walking down the hallway again. Sijin hurriedly chased after him. It truly was a phenomenon that could only be described as a mutation. However, Sijin didn’t want to just accept it without knowing the reason. He needed even the smallest clue.

The research and examination building was deserted in the middle of the night, filled with a desolate silence. The lights on the stairs were completely off. Looking at the dark stairway, Jeong Taeyul grabbed Sijin’s wrist as he followed, eyes glued to the chart. Now Sijin was being pulled along behind him.

4th floor, 3rd floor. Sijin’s anxiety grew with each descending floor. If he went back to the dormitory like this, he would toss and turn all night, plagued by questions. But now, even if he pressed him, it seemed Jeong Taeyul wouldn’t say anything. 

Hesitating, Sijin looked at Jeong Taeyul’s broad back and spoke earnestly, “Then, Jeong Taeyul, later, anything… tell me anything. Sooner is better, but whenever is fine.”

Jeong Taeyul didn’t answer. He stubbornly refused to look back. Sijin couldn’t tell if he was doing it on purpose. However, Sijin felt the grip on his wrist tighten. Was there some difficult circumstance he couldn’t speak of? If that were the case, Jeong Taeyul must be feeling frustrated too.

They reached the 1st floor after descending from the 2nd. This time, Sijin spoke persuasively.

“Or, you don’t have to tell me the reason. You can try anything on me that will stabilize your readings…”

“Ha.”

At that moment, Jeong Taeyul stopped abruptly and turned to face Sijin. Meeting his eyes, he asked with a sneer, “You’ll do anything?”

He took a large step closer. Sijin flinched, looking up at Jeong Taeyul. As if testing him, Jeong Taeyul asked with a sneer, “To stabilize my energy, you’ll do anything?”

“I…”

Sijin’s eyes wavered at the blunt question. The scope of ‘anything’ was too broad.

Suddenly being attacked and having his neck bitten while sleeping, being startled, or kissing. Any of it was difficult for Sijin to handle.

But with him, with Jeong Taeyul, it was okay. Such a reckless thought struck him. Sijin parted his lips and reluctantly answered.

“…Yes, I have to.”

“Why?”

“That’s…”

Sijin took a shaky breath at the question. How could he answer when he himself couldn’t grasp his own feelings?

Emotions were more difficult than logic. Perhaps because he had always pushed his feelings aside for work and guilt, matters involving emotions were consistently difficult for Sijin. Expressing his honest feelings felt like standing naked before someone. Now faced with the same question, Sijin felt the weight of his previous rudeness and was filled with renewed remorse.

As Sijin hesitated, Jeong Taeyul’s sneer slowly faded. Watching him tensely, Sijin started with the most obvious reason.

“Because of how… important a resource you are.”

“So. You’ll do anything?”

Now, even Jeong Taeyul’s eyes had hardened coldly.

“Just because I’m a resource?”

He stepped closer to Sijin. Instinctively, Sijin stepped back as if to escape. He ended up backed against the white wall, like a cornered animal. Jeong Taeyul’s shoulder blocked his view as he stood before him.

Soon, Jeong Taeyul lowered his head towards Sijin. His chocolate-colored hair softly brushed against Sijin’s forehead.

Lowering his head to Sijin’s ear, Jeong Taeyul murmured in a low voice, “So, are you saying you’d even do s*x guiding? With you and me?”

“That’s…”

“What if I’m the kind of bastard who gets satisfaction from violating you?”

“……”

The blunt whisper that penetrated his ear sent a languid shiver down Sijin’s spine. His heart seemed to drop, then began to pound fiercely. Sijin flinched, averting his gaze. But Jeong Taeyul placed his arm as if to block his escape.

Following his trembling heart, Sijin’s breaths deepened. Was it because of the tension? He even felt as if Jeong Taeyul’s gaze was fixed on his neck.

In moments like this, Sijin was unskilled in acting emotionally. In the end, he tried to think as rationally as possible, as he always did. Sleeping with someone because of a mere hypothetical effect was ethically problematic. Moreover, as a diagnostic examiner, Sijin anticipated numerous secondary issues if he became sexually involved with a Guide under his care.

But what if that counterpart was an A-rank Guide? A crucial figure in national disaster response?

And what if it was Jeong Taeyul?

For a moment, Sijin felt it was okay.

Then, the question ‘why’ instantly filled his mind. The first answer that came to mind was a common one. Because Jeong Taeyul was his lifesaver, the one who rescued him from the monster.

But he couldn’t imagine doing the same with Ham Geonwu, who was also his lifesaver.

As the contradictory thought intruded, his rationality easily crumbled. Feeling defeated, Sijin raised his trembling gaze. He saw Jeong Taeyul looking down at him, a little to the side. He thought he was the only one confused, but Taeyul, waiting for an answer, also seemed to have a troubled look in his eyes, as if suppressing something. And at least, silence wasn’t what he wanted.

He had to answer. Anything.

Sijin spoke earnestly, saying what he felt was best. For Jeong Taeyul’s stability…

“A kiss like just now… would be… okay.”

“What?”

Jeong Taeyul let out a cold laugh.

As if greatly displeased by something, he pressed Sijin’s shoulder against the wall. Clenching his teeth, he asked with a bitter sneer, “Ah, kisses are okay if the ability user wants it?”

“That’s…”

“Anyone, is that okay?”

Jeong Taeyul asked coldly. Knowing he was no match for him physically, Sijin instinctively shrunk back as he spoke, “It’s a… special case.”

“It sounds like any ability user is fine as long as it’s effective.”

“It’s okay because it’s you.”

“Why?”

“……”

“Why. Because I’m A-rank?”

“……”

Sijin parted his lips at the blunt question. It was a question he couldn’t confidently answer right away.

Considering his relationship with Jeong Taeyul, it couldn’t be helped. He and Jeong Taeyul were merely intertwined through Ham Geonwu, and only now were they beginning to understand each other’s insecurities, even if only a little.

Moreover, there was no way his own confused feelings would resonate with Jeong Taeyul. In the end, Sijin avoided his gaze without confidence.

Then Jeong Taeyul dropped even his sneer. He spoke as if to deliberately inflict pain.

“This side of you is incredibly disappointing, Doctor Baek.”

“……”

“If you were truly concerned about me, you should have held back those words.”

With those cold words, Jeong Taeyul turned around. He walked down the brightly lit hallway towards the dark outside. His quick pace was as if he were forcibly distancing himself from Sijin.

Behind him, Sijin followed with an anxious expression. But he couldn’t keep up with Jeong Taeyul’s long strides. 

Looking pathetically at his receding back, Sijin murmured softly, “I wouldn’t have done that with another ability user. I…”

The voice he barely managed to utter was feeble. Sijin tried to follow Jeong Taeyul a bit further, but he disappeared into the darkness even faster. Sijin’s gaze, fixed on his back, trembled slightly.

Sijin had missed his chance. But a part of him felt relieved that Jeong Taeyul hadn’t heard him. An emotional appeal wouldn’t have worked on him anyway.