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TG Ch 7(2) Part 6
by CanaanSijin’s steps as he turned back were heavy.
His mind was a jumble. A single incomprehensible anomaly made it feel like everything he had studied his whole life had turned to dust.
“Jeong Taeyul…”
Sijin felt a surge of frustration. What was the big deal if a Guide felt a slight effect from kissing him, an ordinary person? Would it have been better if he himself were an ability user? Now, even the fact that he was an ordinary person felt like a source of despair.
Should he go to Jeong Taeyul now?
Sijin stopped in the hallway, fiddling with the end of his white sleeve. His expression was pathetic, as if he were about to cry.
After confusion came depression and resentment. He was in such turmoil, but was Jeong Taeyul completely unaffected? Even though he had kissed him so desperately…
Just then, he heard heavy footsteps from behind.
“Why didn’t you finish what you were saying?”
With an impassioned voice, Sijin’s shoulder was roughly turned. Forced to turn around, he saw Jeong Taeyul. He grabbed Sijin, his face fierce with anger.
Losing his balance, Sijin was pushed back against the wall. Jeong Taeyul firmly held his stumbling waist and brought his face close. Then, he showered him with a deep, almost desperate kiss.
“Wait, ah…”
Sijin let out a small moan at the much more forceful kiss. Jeong Taeyul acted desperately, as if unable to control himself. It was all Sijin could do to cope. His wet eyelashes began to tremble slightly. His hand, gripping Jeong Taeyul’s firm waist, slipped.
Ah, again. His body, touching Jeong Taeyul, grew languidly warm, then gradually lost strength.
‘My body…’
His consciousness gradually faded. Sijin desperately clung to Jeong Taeyul’s collar, but he couldn’t hold on any longer. His clear black pupils gradually lost their light. Even so, Sijin instinctively clung to Jeong Taeyul’s body as if to a lifeline.
Sijin’s body gradually collapsed.
In his fading consciousness, Sijin saw the sharp, animalistic glint in Jeong Taeyul’s eyes. Supporting his collapsing body, he cursed softly. Then, Jeong Taeyul held him tightly and caught his breath.
With that image as his last, Sijin completely lost consciousness.
***
Jeong Taeyul was in a panic. In his arms, Sijin lay unconscious, a faint warmth on his cheeks, his breathing ragged. Sijin’s innocently closed eyes fueled Taeyul’s guilt.
“Fuck…”
Jeong Taeyul cursed himself. He couldn’t help it.
He was so aroused he couldn’t control his guiding.
He should have at least regulated it. He’d poured his guiding into Sijin to the point where he couldn’t handle it. It was fortunate that his energy was already rooted in Sijin’s heart; otherwise, he could have gone into shock.
Jeong Taeyul took a few ragged breaths, then held Sijin preciously. He hated himself for losing control over a few words. His hazel eyes, now that the excitement had subsided, trembled anxiously.
Carefully, Jeong Taeyul lifted his head.
Looking at Sijin in his arms, he cautiously touched the area around his heart. Fortunately, he was just deeply asleep; his waves were stable. Still, Jeong Taeyul carefully spread his energy evenly throughout Sijin’s body to minimize any strain.
‘Why did you say those things?’
Jeong Taeyul thought as he looked at the sleeping Sijin. That he wouldn’t have done that with another ability user. Those words had driven him crazy.
From the moment Sijin had suddenly embraced him, Jeong Taeyul’s rationality had been hanging by a thread. There was only one reason he’d managed to hold on: he knew Sijin was kind to everyone.
But he’d crumbled pathetically at Sijin’s single sentence. He’d tried to push him away and leave, but he couldn’t help but come back. If Sijin hadn’t lost consciousness after the kiss, he wouldn’t have been able to resist, and he would have ravaged his body all night long.
“……”
Just then, Jeong Taeyul sensed another Esper approaching.
A uniquely tingling wave resonated intensely from behind him. His expression, previously filled with concern for Sijin, hardened coldly. In moments like these, Jeong Taeyul loathed the fact that he was a Guide who could sense waves.
He didn’t turn around. The other person would have already noticed Jeong Taeyul’s state. That’s how it was between them; they didn’t need words.
Thwack.
Without looking back, Jeong Taeyul caught the object thrown from behind. A sharp pain shot through his hand as he looked; it was a military knife in its sheath. Since they couldn’t kill each other anyway, the other person must have thrown it out of pure anger. The fact that he could so easily grasp even that sentiment made him even more reluctant to deal with him.
After a moment of silence, Jeong Taeyul lifted himself up, holding Sijin in his arms. As he slowly turned around, the other man smiled, his eyebrows raised as if in mock distress.
“So I’m interrupting, am I?”
“……”
Ham Geonwu stood at the end of the hallway, looking directly at Jeong Taeyul.
He was smiling, but unlike usual, only a harsh aura emanated from him.
Ham Geonwu walked down the hallway. In the desolate space, the only sound was his approaching footsteps. Following the dimly lit hallway lights, his fierce form appeared, alternating between shadow and light.
Now the two men stood facing each other, three steps apart. Jeong Taeyul stared at Ham Geonwu without a word.
Looking at Sijin sleeping soundly in his arms and at Jeong Taeyul’s face, Ham Geonwu muttered, “Judging by your expression, you didn’t knock him out on purpose…”
Fuck. Jeong Taeyul cursed inwardly at those words. He couldn’t hide his expression from him. As he openly frowned, Ham Geonwu let out a disbelieving chuckle.
Having grasped the situation, however roughly, Ham Geonwu slowly began to speak. He was smiling, but a heavy atmosphere weighed down his words.
“Jeong Taeyul. Do you remember that time?”
“…Let’s talk later.”
“About six years ago. When that Esper tried to seduce both of us.”
“Ham Geonwu.”
“You told me back then…”
True to his nature, Ham Geonwu continued speaking his mind. But Sijin was Jeong Taeyul’s priority, and he walked past him, speaking coldly.
“I don’t want to give you an order right now.”
“Fuck, I don’t want to disobey your orders either, so listen.”
Ham Geonwu snapped fiercely, grabbing Jeong Taeyul’s shoulder. The look in his eyes, devoid of even a trace of a smile, was venomous as he glared at him.
Jeong Taeyul stared at the hand gripping his shoulder, then met Ham Geonwu’s gaze with a sideways glance. Ham Geonwu was panting, trying to contain his anger.
It had been a long time since Jeong Taeyul had seen Ham Geonwu genuinely angry. In fact, he had only seen it three times in ten years. The first time was when an examiner forcibly injected Ham Geonwu with a stimulant. The second was when another Esper had playfully burned to death a stray cat Ham Geonwu had been caring for. And the third time was right now.
Ham Geonwu must have been angry at the betrayal more than anything else.
The betrayal of having the person he trusted, his friend and captain, touch Sijin, whom he cherished. The trust between the two was built on the unspoken agreement that missions came first.
“Jeong Taeyul. You said back then…”
“……”
“Since we have no secrets from each other, we’ll never be fucking entangled in emotions.”
Ham Geonwu spoke, his eyes sharp like a fighting c*ck. He was angry, but he also seemed somehow hollow.
Looking directly at Jeong Taeyul, Ham Geonwu reached out to Sijin. His thick fingertips touched Sijin’s lips. Feeling a surge of displeasure at even that, Jeong Taeyul held Sijin closer and stepped back.
Ham Geonwu laughed hollowly, as if receiving a confirming blow. Then, clenching his teeth, he asked heavily, “Why did you touch him?”
Having touched him directly, he must have felt it. The Guide’s energy lingering on Sijin’s lips like a fingerprint.
Jeong Taeyul didn’t answer, staring sharply at Ham Geonwu. Ham Geonwu’s brow furrowed fiercely as he asked, “Why did you touch the person you’re supposed to be protecting, you son of a bitch?”
“I have nothing to say to you.”
“Oh, you don’t?”
“Then what do you want me to say? That I’m fucking sorry I didn’t meet your expectations?”
Jeong Taeyul spoke, his words like a wolf baring its fangs. Perhaps it was because he held the unconscious Sijin in his arms; he couldn’t control his emotions.
Ham Geonwu, seeing this, froze for a moment, then let out a hollow laugh. This was the first time he had witnessed Jeong Taeyul lose control. That alone was enough to be surprised about.
In the end, the only remaining reason was emotion.
“Hey, Jeong Taeyul.”
“What.”
“I’ve been deliberately avoiding the doctor, waiting. Because he’s an ordinary person, and the person we’re supposed to protect.”
Ham Geonwu’s gaze fell on Sijin. He looked back at Jeong Taeyul with a blank expression and said, “But I guess I didn’t need to.”
“……”
Jeong Taeyul didn’t respond. But even that was an answer.
He no longer had the right to stop Ham Geonwu from approaching Sijin emotionally.
Jeong Taeyul quietly gave his only order.
“Don’t tell Doctor Baek about this conversation.”
“Is that all you have to say?”
Ham Geonwu asked incredulously. At his sarcastic tone, Jeong Taeyul wanted to grab him by the collar, but his desire to avoid a heated argument while holding Sijin in his arms was stronger.
And he didn’t want Sijin to find out about this. If Sijin knew, he would be confused, tormented by responsibility and a sense of obligation.
Ham Geonwu looked down at the sleeping Sijin and let the matter rest for now. However, he didn’t forget to leave Jeong Taeyul with a warning.
“If you have any sense, don’t let him sleep in your room again. I’ll destroy everything.”
“Shut up and get back to your post.”
Jeong Taeyul only gave the order as captain. He planned to keep Sijin somewhere safe separately anyway. He knew better than anyone that he couldn’t control himself any longer.
Jeong Taeyul coldly walked past Ham Geonwu. Even then, he felt relieved that Sijin was asleep, unaware of anything. If he had seen them like this, he would have tried to intervene with a terrified expression. And he was most relieved that he hadn’t seen Sijin trying to make excuses to Ham Geonwu.
The mere thought sparked intense jealousy and displeasure. Jeong Taeyul felt disgusted with himself.
“Hey, Jeong Taeyul.”
Ham Geonwu, who was standing behind him, said with a sneer, “Why are you so tense?”
Jeong Taeyul stopped dead in his tracks. He finally realized what the discomfort that had been lingering in his body was.
Jeong Taeyul had never wanted anything but Baek Sijin his entire life. He had never felt any tension or fear from anything else. But now, he was tense.
Afraid that Baek Sijin would truly be swayed by Ham Geonwu.
It was the first time he had felt inferior to someone. It felt like he was in a race he was bound to lose, making him want to commit some despicable foul. His gaze at Sijin, sleeping in his arms, hardened.
Naturally, his grip on Sijin tightened. As if uncomfortable, Sijin’s brow twitched. Seeing this, Jeong Taeyul hurriedly left, for Sijin’s sake as well. He felt like he had little self-control left.