BOREDOM 6

“Are you Carrot?”

Hearing the words I was waiting for, I turned my head. In front of the entrance connected to the subway station, a young woman was standing, holding a small shopping bag.

“Yes, that’s right. You brought the phone, correct?”

Moving aside from the crowded exit, I checked the latest model phone inside the shopping bag the woman had brought. Although it was used, it wasn’t much different from its condition when it was first released. I confirmed that the phone was working properly and nodded my head.

“It’s good. I’ll buy it.”

“Then I’ll give you my account number.”

The woman tried to give me her account number as if it were a matter of course, but I shook my head.

“I brought cash. Is that okay with you?”

The woman said it was fine, but she seemed to think it was strange that I had brought a large sum of money close to a hundred in cash. When I handed her the white envelope I had received from Kwon Taeshin, she began to count the bills inside with an ambiguous expression.

Since the bills inside were 50,000 won bills, the check was over in a moment. With a satisfied expression, the woman put the envelope away and said her goodbyes.

“I’ve confirmed the amount. Thank you for the transaction, and have a safe trip home.”

“Thank you as well. Have a safe trip home.”

My steps were light as I walked away after parting with the woman. Of course, when I say light, I mean my mood, because in reality, I walked with a limp like someone with a broken leg. Not long after I had taken Kwon Taeshin’s horrific penis, the aftereffects hadn’t subsided. Thankfully, I hadn’t suffered any tears, but my whole body ached and throbbed as if I’d been hit by a truck. The particularly sore spot was an embarrassing place to describe in words, so my gait couldn’t help but be strange.

The place I arrived at with my sluggish steps was a used home appliance store I had seen while coming and going through the neighborhood. There, I bought a new washing machine to replace the one that would always rumble and then stop. It was a top-loader similar to the one I had been using, and because it was used, it was very cheap.

After buying the phone and the washing machine, the money envelope was empty. Still, there was enough money left to take my younger siblings to an all-you-can-eat meat restaurant. I had promised to meet my siblings there, so I dragged my slow steps toward the meat restaurant.

“Oppa, here!”

As I opened the door to the meat restaurant and went inside, my youngest sibling called out in a loud voice. Confirming that my siblings had arrived first, I approached them and sat down.

“You should have started eating first.”

“We just got here too.”

Replying, “Is that so,” to my youngest’s words, I looked at the second child. Unlike my youngest, who still had a youthful look, my second sibling, a sophomore in high school, looked all grown up. He was as tall as I was, so it was difficult to treat him casually like I did when he was little.

“Wonho, you have to study. Did I force you to come out?”

The second child shook his head.

“No, I have to get some protein once in a while too.”

“Alright, let’s eat till we burst today and get some energy.”

I brought the meat, my youngest brought the side dishes, and my second sibling brought the water and utensils. After quickly setting the table, I ordered a beer along with soda for the first time in a long while. It was the first time I had ordered a beer at a restaurant since the price of alcohol had gone up.

“We have to order meals separately. What do you guys want to eat? Soybean paste stew? Cold noodles? Spicy cold noodles?”

“We haven’t even started eating the meat yet.”

“Let’s eat the meat and if it’s not enough, we can order more then.”

Seeing my siblings refuse a meal, intending to fill up on meat, I swallowed a bitter smile. Then, before I started grilling the meat in earnest, I handed the shopping bag I had brought to my youngest.

“Here.”

“What’s this?”

My youngest, who had been sucking on his chopsticks, took out the phone and his eyes widened.

“Gasp… this is a new model!”

“Don’t get too excited, it’s used.”

“It looks brand new for a used one, though. Wow, wow!”

My youngest let out a cry of admiration and dropped his chopsticks with a clatter. The second child clicked his tongue, seeing him too busy looking at the phone to care about the chopsticks rolling on the floor. Even so, he silently replaced the fallen chopsticks with a new pair.

“Woooow, oppa. I really wanted this. I really, really, really wanted this.”

My youngest was so happy that his eyes welled up with tears, and while I felt a sense of pride, I also thought that I should have bought it for him sooner. If I’d had even a little bit of leeway, I would have, but now was not the time to spend money easily. The second child was studying with the goal of getting into medical school, so I had to save up to support him. Of course, the support I could provide would only be to the extent of paying for a private academy or online lectures, but I wanted to do my best within my limits.

Feeling a gaze fixed on me, I turned my head. The second child was frowning, looking back and forth between me and the phone. His phone was also an old model, so I spoke apologetically.

“Wonho, I’ll get you a new phone when you get into college.”

“No, I’m fine. I don’t really use my phone much now anyway because I’m studying.”

“Okay, thank you for understanding.”

“More than that, I’m curious where you got the money to buy a new model phone.”

The second child hit a sore spot, and I flinched inwardly.

“It’s… it’s used, used.”

I tried my best not to show it and glossed over it by saying it wasn’t much, but my second sibling didn’t just let it go. With a worried expression, he pointed out my strange gait for the past few days.

“Did you get beaten up by someone and receive settlement money or something?”

“It’s not like that.”

“If it’s not, then why didn’t you go to the hospital?”

“It’s just muscle soreness, why would I go? I’m not hurt, so don’t worry.”

The second child seemed to be speculating that I, working at a club, had received some sort of compensation from a drunk customer. That guess was plausible, but it was far from the truth.

I quickly put meat on the grill and poured beer into a glass. The beer I was drinking after a long time was so refreshing it felt like it would clear my chest. Nevertheless, the uneasy feeling from having lied did not clear up easily.

The amount Kwon Taeshin had paid me for one night was, strangely, exactly one million won. Inside the unfolded envelope were twenty crisp fifty-thousand-won bills. It might be a trivial amount to some, but to me, it was a lot of money, so I considered saving it instead of spending it. However, the fact that it was money earned by selling my body persistently lingered in my mind.

To be honest, until I had experienced it, I thought that spreading my legs for another man wouldn’t be a big deal. People around me chattered on so much, saying things like, “with a man like Kwon Taeshin, it’s possible,” “I want to be chosen too,” and “isn’t Kwon Taeshin a windfall?” that I thought, if I could earn that much money for one night, then thank you very much. Inwardly, I might have wanted to make a move on Kwon Taeshin myself if I had a pretty face like Jaeyoung.

That’s why when Kwon Taeshin suggested, “Would you like to stay the night?” I didn’t refuse. I promptly agreed, thinking, this is it.

But what Jaeyoung had said was a complete lie.

‘He said it feels good. He said they cum buckets because it feels so good.’

“Good, my ass.”

I muttered to myself while grilling the meat and then shut my mouth. Fortunately, neither my second sibling, who was engrossed in eating the meat, nor my youngest, who was absorbed in his phone, heard what I said. I let out a sigh of relief, but I wanted to refute Jaeyoung’s ridiculous words, even if it was just to the empty air.

Kwon Taeshin’s thing was enormous, so taking it in was nothing more and nothing less than pain. I don’t know who it was that came buckets because it felt so good, but for me, I questioned whether it was possible to feel good while receiving something like that inside my body. I thought myself lucky just to have survived without dying, so much so that I never wanted to sleep with him again.

It must be the same for Kwon Taeshin. Contrary to the nonsensical things he spouted, like that I had seduced him or that I was hot, he grumbled all night while ramming his penis inside me.

‘Ouch, ouch, I think you need to work out. You’re too skinny, your bones are bumping against me.’

‘Stop crying already. Because you keep crying, it feels like I’m doing something I shouldn’t be.’

‘What, are you passing out already? I’m not done yet.’

‘Get up, you have to earn your keep.’

Far from making it enjoyable for me, he also wore himself out by coaxing and placating me as I just sobbed and sobbed. He must have thought that he had wasted his money and gone through a lot of trouble for nothing. I hadn’t wanted to act so poorly after receiving the money either, but it was so painful I couldn’t help it.

What was even worse was what happened after everything was over. After he had come about three times and fallen asleep with his penis still inside me, I slipped out of Kwon Taeshin’s arms and headed for the bathroom, my legs trembling. When I barely managed to sit on the toilet and spread my legs, the end of the condom that had slipped off his penis was dangling there. When I carefully pulled it out, a condom, large enough to match his size, had been deep inside my body. It was also full of semen, so the sensation of it slipping out of my body was unfamiliar and unpleasant.

Seeing that, a sense of self-loathing I had never felt before washed over me, and I felt like I understood why selling sex was considered taboo. Baring my lowest depths, which are hard to show even to a loved one, to someone I barely knew was unpleasant in a way that was difficult to explain in words. The reality of being treated like an object was so stark that I was filled with regret, as if I had learned something I should have gone my whole life without knowing.

I tied up the condom, which contained a bucketful of semen, and threw it away, and then washed my body, but unlike the bodily fluids that had dried all over me, the shame did not wash away easily. I had to leave the bathroom and pick up my clothes with it caked all over me. When I touched the envelope in my pants pocket, I thought it might be better to leave it behind, but that wouldn’t make the fact that I had sold my body disappear. Rather, I felt like I would be hit with a harsh reality check for having only a bad experience and gaining nothing, so I just took it with me.

That being the case, I didn’t want to save that money. I just wanted to spend it all quickly. But the joy of consumption was fleeting, and when my second sibling looked at me and questioned the source of the money, I broke out in a cold sweat. The thought that I wasn’t being honest left me at a loss for words, and I was suddenly terrified. If, by any chance, my siblings were to find out that I had earned money by selling my body to another man…

I didn’t even want to think about it. On one hand, I was scared of being met with contempt and criticism from my siblings, and on the other, I was worried that my siblings would be hurt. They were already shouldering the burden of feeling like they were a weight on me, and if they found out that I had tried to make money by even selling my body, they would surely feel a great sense of disillusionment.

It wasn’t as if I had done it specifically for my siblings, either. I had simply been blinded by a momentary greed for material things, so I was deeply ashamed.

Of course, my siblings had no idea who Kwon Taeshin was. There was no way they could know what had happened between Kwon Taeshin and me, but now that I had actually done the deed, I didn’t feel at ease.

“…Hurry up and eat.”

Suppressing my anxiety, I cut the well-cooked meat. As I diligently moved it to my siblings’ plates, I didn’t forget to put some in my own mouth. Hoping that the greasy and savory taste of the meat would erase the unpleasant memories, I hurriedly filled the stomach that had been gaping open from Kwon Taeshin’s dick going in and out.

🍃

For a while, I didn’t run into Kwon Taeshin.

Since I was still working at the place he frequented, I did expect to run into him eventually. That said, I wasn’t seriously worried about that fact. Since I had cried and fussed, saying I hated the cock that others died of pleasure for, it seemed unlikely he would seek me out again. I had a hunch that he would probably pretend not to see me, completely ignoring me.

I hoped for that as well. If Kwon Taeshin were to strike up a conversation in front of other people, saying something like, “That night…,” I would clearly be bombarded with all sorts of questions. If, by any chance, it became known that I had been chosen by him and spent the night, aside from being a nuisance, there was a high possibility that I would become the object of envy for several people, including Jaeyoung. Just thinking about it was tiring, so I actively hid to avoid any such “what if” scenarios.

Fortunately, I wasn’t someone who worked inside the club, so I only had to be careful when his car was coming and going. Whenever his car appeared, I would quickly duck my head and waddle like a duck to hide in the security guard post. In that state, I would wait for another parking attendant to move his car, and when I heard the work foreman shout, “Lee Wonwoo, where did that bastard go!” I would stick my head out. Then, after confirming that neither Kwon Taeshin nor his car was in sight, I would quickly run to move the car.

A few days passed like that.

That day was a Friday, so it was hectic. I was so busy running between the parking lot and the club that my feet were sweating, and soon it was dawn. It was only after 3 a.m. that I finally got a moment to catch my breath, so I made and drank a cup of instant coffee with the work foreman. As I was appeasing my hunger with that, a waiter radioed the work foreman.

“Driver call for 8820.”

Number 8820 was Kwon Taeshin’s car number. Realizing he was about to leave, I shot up from my seat. Then, I pointedly clutched my crotch and said to the work foreman.

“I’m going to go to the restroom.”

“Uh, go ahead.”

Fearing he might tell me to drive Kwon Taeshin’s car, I scurried off towards the restroom. I went into the restroom attached to the outer wall of the building, relieved myself even though I didn’t really have to go, washed my hands, and then came back out. Then, sticking close to the corner, I stretched my neck out to see whether Kwon Taeshin had left or not.