DAH Ch 12
by soapaIt was an unusually busy morning. After preparing a simple breakfast of a hot dog and an apple for Ian before daycare, it was already time to head out.
“Let’s hurry up.”
Jungjoon took the dawdling Ian’s hand and left the house.
“Listen to the teacher today, get along well with your friends, eat your meals properly, and have fun, Ian. Got it?”
As he brushed Ian’s hair while speaking, there was no response. Ian just stared off into some corner with a sulky expression.
Jungjoon let go of his hand without adding anything more. He knew from experience that pointing out Ian’s attitude or trying to appease him whenever he showed his emotions like this would lead nowhere.
However, the child’s displeasure persisted all the way until they reached the daycare and went inside.
“Ian, let’s say goodbye to Daddy. ‘I’ll be back!’—”
The teacher demonstrated the usual belly-bow greeting. But Ian didn’t repeat it or bow his head; he simply slipped into the daycare without a word.
“Oh my…”
In front of the flustered teacher, Jungjoon forced a smile.
“Sorry about that. I scolded him a bit last night, so he might still be upset. Please take good care of him, teacher.”
After smoothing things over and stepping outside, the expression faded from his face. With a short “Haa,” he sighed, paused where he stood, and rubbed his face.
…Maybe I should’ve held back a little.
The incident had started after dinner the previous night when Ian ate snacks on the bed. Seeing crumbs scattered on the sheets, Jungjoon had raised his voice without meaning to. It was true that he’d gotten angrier because this behavior hadn’t changed despite several prior warnings.
“Didn’t Daddy tell you that eating on the bed attracts bugs? Does Ian want to live with bugs?”
He’d softened his tone right after, but by then, Ian had already burst into tears.
“I hate Daddy, I hate Daddy—!!”
With a flushed face, Ian had shouted before burying himself in the bed. He’d avoided the situation, refusing to brush his teeth, his mood thoroughly soured. As his muffled, sorrowful sobs leaked through the pillow, Jungjoon stood silently watching him, then turned off the light and left.
Had he been too strict?
He reflected on his recent actions, and those before. What exactly had he done wrong? It wasn’t that he couldn’t understand Ian’s desire to do everything on the bed. They hadn’t had space for one until recently, so he could imagine how comfortable and exciting it must feel for Ian.
But…
When it came to matters of cleanliness, Jungjoon naturally became sensitive and strict.
“Haa…”
He was tired from the morning. He tried to feign composure to avoid being swayed by Ian’s mood, but he couldn’t help feeling worn out.
For some reason, raising a child didn’t seem to get easier with time—it only grew harder. Especially since Ian started talking, Jungjoon had felt his limits more often. He saw himself as an inadequate father, which made him feel disheartened. The thought that his wife would’ve disciplined Ian more wisely if she were here brought an inevitable wave of gloom.
Perhaps because the day had started poorly, the bad flow continued after he got to work. Minor mistakes piled up, compounded by errors from clients, and the work didn’t go smoothly. The pressure from his boss, who was stressed about performance, transferred directly to Jungjoon, leaving him so overwhelmed that the rushed lunch he ate felt stuck in his chest.
Even after taking a digestive pill, the bloating persisted. He rubbed his stomach between meetings, but there was no noticeable improvement as he shuttled between locations. Finishing one meeting meant driving an hour to the next, and from there, another forty minutes to yet another.
When a brief break finally came, he was utterly exhausted, slumping in the driver’s seat. On lucky days, meetings lined up nearby, but there were also times like this when appointments were scattered to extremes.
“Hoo…”
Leaning back in the seat, Jungjoon loosened his tie. Undoing a shirt button along with a sigh eased the stifling feeling slightly.
With his eyes closed, he drifted off at some point as the tension melted away. How long had he slept, lying there motionless as if knocked out? When he opened his eyes, about thirty minutes had passed, and the sky outside, which had been on the verge of sunset, had darkened in the meantime.
“…….”
Jungjoon rubbed his dry eyes with his hand. Perhaps thanks to the short but deep sleep, the throbbing headache was gone. Even his stomach, upset since lunch, had mysteriously settled.
With a groan—“Ugh”—he stretched his arms and rolled his neck. After a few minutes of pressing here and there and stretching, the remaining fatigue dissipated quickly.
…Is this thanks to exercise too?
Not long ago, he might’ve vomited or struggled with poor condition for a week. He thought starting exercise again was a good call, and with a lighter mood, he started the car.
On the way, he stopped at a nearby convenience store, finished a sandwich for dinner, and headed home. There’d been one more client consultation scheduled, but it got canceled last minute, letting him leave an hour and a half early.
Glancing at the clock while driving, he wondered, Is there enough time…? If possible, he wanted to stop by the fitness center, even briefly. It wouldn’t be as long as a weekend session, but with this much time, he could squeeze in a short workout before picking up Ian.
Soon after arriving at the fitness center, Jungjoon began a condensed version of his usual routine, cutting the steps in half.
From a simple warm-up to full-on strength training, he moved briskly. The sensation of letting stray thoughts fade and focusing solely on the task felt refreshing. After finishing upper-body exercises with a few machines, he was moving to the next station.
“Excuse me.”
Hearing someone call, Jungjoon turned around.
“…Yes?”
It was an unfamiliar woman. She looked like a member here to work out. Curious about what she wanted, he looked down at her as she spoke, a bit embarrassed.
“Um… I’m new here, so… could you show me how to use this?”
The unexpected request left Jungjoon momentarily stunned. But without overthinking, he nodded and said, “Sure,” agreeing to help.
“I’ll demonstrate first.”
Sitting at the machine, Jungjoon explained while showing her slowly, more deliberately than usual. After the demo, he stood by, offering tips and checking her form as she tried it herself. Remembering how he’d learned by watching others when he was new, he took extra care to explain thoroughly.
“Thank you so much. I’m sure you were surprised when I suddenly asked…”
Having grasped the instructions, she smiled shyly and thanked him.
“No problem. It’s nothing big.”
With a slight nod—“Well then…”—Jungjoon was about to turn away.
“Excuse me!”
Her voice called out again.
“I’d like to treat you to a drink or something. I’m so grateful. It’s not much, but…”
Caught off guard, Jungjoon paused, then adjusted his expression as if snapping out of it.
“It’s fine, really. I’ll just take the sentiment. I’ve got to go now… so…”
With an awkward smile, he turned and headed straight to the showers, despite having a bit of time left.
In the shower, Jungjoon lingered under the water longer than usual before stepping out. After washing off the day’s grime, he moisturized and began drying his wet hair.
When he shook out his now-dry hair and looked up, his reflection stared back in the mirror. It had been an exhausting day, but for some reason, the face in the glass didn’t look tired at all. His complexion was healthy, there were no shadows under his eyes, and he didn’t look worn out by anything.
“…….”
Facing this clean-cut reflection, he felt a strange mix of emotions. The unexpected encounter at the gym earlier came to mind unbidden.
He couldn’t help but sense that the odd vibe from the stranger had been a sign of interest. He wasn’t so naive or oblivious at this age to miss such signals.
She looked… maybe three or four years younger.
She had an appearance anyone could find appealing. Her polite demeanor and soft voice had naturally left a good impression.
How many years had it been since someone approached him like this…? The more he dwelled on it, the stranger he felt. Of course, he wasn’t in a position—or mindset—to respond to such signals, but…
Honestly, there was a subtle relief too. It was silly, but knowing he could still seem attractive to someone didn’t feel bad.
“Haa…”
As that relief struck him as futile, the flush faded from his face. Calmly, he dressed and left the locker room.
Arriving at the daycare from the fitness center within the apartment complex took less than five minutes. But spotting a familiar figure on a bench by the entrance stopped him in his tracks.
“…….”
A man with a broad back held a child. He was chatting with another person, also holding a child, across from him. The scene was so bizarre and unfamiliar that Jungjoon stood blinking, unable to process it all at once.
What kind of situation is this?
Why was this man, who’d shown up unannounced, holding his child? Why was he talking to what seemed like another parent? Jungjoon couldn’t begin to guess or understand even a sliver of it.
“…Um…”
Finally, he approached and made his presence known.
“Oh, you’re here?”
Yoonhae turned with a warm smile to greet Jungjoon.
“…Yeah.”
“Come sit. Ian was talking with his friend’s dad.”
Pulled along by Yoonhae’s gesture, Jungjoon sat beside him at the table, almost by reflex. As soon as he sat, a friendly “Hello!” came from across the table, prompting him to quickly bow back.
“Hello.”
Lifting his head after the greeting, he finally saw the other person’s face. An “Oh?” of surprise came from the man, followed by a small “Ah” from Jungjoon.
“Uh, wait, weren’t you at that kids’ café…?”
Astonishingly, he’d met this parent before. It had been a brief chat, but the encounter had been memorable enough to recognize him instantly.
“Oh… yes. The, uh, child’s name… was it Siyeon?”
“Yes, yes, that’s right! Wow, this is crazy!”
Clapping his hands with a smack, the man raised his voice in excitement.
“Oh, I thought—Ian’s face and name felt so familiar, and now I get it! How did I just realize this now? Ian, did you know this was the uncle we met back then?”
At the question, Ian, nestled in Yoonhae’s arms, nodded shyly.
“You knew! Oh no, I’m the only one who didn’t recognize you. Sorry—”
“Daddy, I told you I met Ian again!”
“You’re right, Daddy’s just catching up now.”
Jungjoon forced a smile at the man’s animated surprise and delight. The coincidence of meeting again was intriguing, but honestly, it wasn’t welcome. If anything, it felt deeply uncomfortable.
“You two know each other?”
Yoonhae chimed in, and the man replied with the same enthusiasm.
“Yes, yes, we met at a kids’ café once, and the kids played together. Back then, Ian came alone with you…”
Trailing off, the man’s gaze shifted to Jungjoon. Before he could decipher the odd, amused look, Yoonhae’s voice cut in, addressing Ian.
“Ian, want to go to the kids’ café this weekend?”
“Yesss—!”
Ian raised both hands, cheering energetically. The two of them were making plans as if it were a given, completely bypassing Jungjoon, the actual parent. Staring blankly like an outsider, Jungjoon spoke up belatedly.
“Ian, did you have fun with your friends today?”
“…Yesss.”
“Did you eat your food well too?”
“Yesss…”
Still sulking, Ian answered stiffly. Even after all this time, he hadn’t budged from Yoonhae’s arms instead of Jungjoon’s.
“Now that I see it, Ian really looks like his dad.”
At the comment from across the table, Jungjoon looked up. But realizing the man’s gaze was on Yoonhae, not him, his face crumpled.
“Uh, there’s some misunderstanding—”
“They do look alike, don’t they?”
Jungjoon’s attempt to explain was drowned out by a louder voice. Bewildered, he quickly turned to the side.
A shamelessly grinning face, wrinkles forming at the corners of its eyes, filled his view.
“Yes, they resemble each other. He takes after his dad and looks so handsome, our Ian—our Siyeon takes after her dad too. But her personality’s exactly like mine, which is funny.”
“When Ian was little, he looked like me.”
“Oh my, Ian’s personality is a carbon copy of his dad’s too.”
Was this a joke?
The thought crossed his mind briefly, only to shatter as the conversation spiraled. In the blink of an eye, the situation veered into absurdity, leaving Jungjoon silently reeling. It was so outrageous he couldn’t even begin to respond.
“…Oh, right.”
A languid voice pierced Jungjoon’s eardrums. As if recalling something, Yoonhae continued.
“Did you know the entrance light’s broken?”
“…….”
“I called someone, so they’ll come tomorrow.”
Stunned by the casual tone and expression, Jungjoon froze. Like actors on a stage, he realized this was all a “show” for someone’s benefit, and he was left speechless.
“Are you tired?”
Yoonhae’s arm naturally wrapped around his waist. Jungjoon noticed the man across from them subtly looking away.
“Oh, I should get going soon. My kid’s dad will be here any minute…”
Muttering, the man stood, and Yoonhae bowed slightly. “Shall we go too?” he urged Jungjoon to rise with him.
“…….”
Still rigid, Jungjoon lowered his eyes and quietly complied. At this point, he couldn’t muster the will to correct the situation. He just wanted to end this wildly off-the-rails scenario somehow.
“If anything comes up with the kids, let me know.”
Before leaving, Yoonhae pulled a business card from his wallet. The man, holding his daughter’s hand, took it with a short nod. Looking up at Yoonhae’s friendly smile, he seemed newly impressed by his appearance.
“This must be fate—let’s stay in touch! Soon, we can all meet up, the four of us, with my kid’s dad too.”
Then, with a familiar gesture, he whispered to Jungjoon, “You two look so good together.”
“…Huh?”
“Oh… I totally get why you denied it back then. I’m an omega too, so how could I not understand?”
“…….”
His expression said, “We don’t have to hide it among ourselves.” A tender look of empathy and support followed.
“Ian, keep being good friends with our Siyeon, okay?”
“Yesss—!”
“See you next time, then.”
The man placed a hand on his daughter’s back and turned away with the same bright demeanor he’d maintained throughout.
A deathly silence fell once the two disappeared around the corner.
“Shall we go?”
Yoonhae broke the lengthening quiet.
Standing still, Jungjoon lifted his head. Yoonhae walked ahead, holding Ian, and after staring blankly for a moment, Jungjoon followed.
From a few steps behind, he heard their voices—a warm exchange between Ian and Yoonhae.
“…….”
Their affectionate scene felt strangely discordant today. Dropping his gaze, Jungjoon quickened his pace.
Assuming Yoonhae would only accompany them to the main entrance, Jungjoon was surprised when he followed into the elevator. Ignoring Jungjoon’s puzzled look, Yoonhae busied himself joking with Ian.
Watching them giggle and whisper, Jungjoon lowered his eyes as the elevator arrived.
The two stood leisurely in front of the apartment door, waiting for it to open. Jungjoon, like a staff member unlocking a reserved room, bowed his head and used the phone-attached key to open it.
“Ian, what do you want for dinner?”
“Um… pizza!”
“Pizza? Got it.”
Jungjoon lingered silently as the two conversed, unable to join in.
“…….”
He didn’t know how to handle being left out of the situation. Why was Yoonhae acting so at home in their house? Why had he picked up Ian instead of Jungjoon, the father? Why had he talked to another parent and created an irreparable misunderstanding?
Not a single part of it made sense or was comprehensible.
Unable to muster the courage to demand an explanation, he slipped quietly into the bedroom. Opening the closet and standing before the mirror, he tugged off his suffocating tie. As he unbuttoned his shirt down to his navel, the closed door burst open with a bang.
Jungjoon stiffened reflexively as someone approached. Yoonhae opened a closet door and, without a word, began undressing too.
He shed his thin suit jacket and, not stopping there, unbuckled his pants with a clatter. Before Jungjoon could turn, Yoonhae exposed his thighs. Moments later, standing in just underwear, he asked,
“Where’s something comfortable to wear?”
“…Huh? Oh… here…”
Jungjoon hurriedly pulled out loose-fitting clothes from the closet. Turning his head forward, he waited for Yoonhae to put them on—until he saw him bring the clothes to his face and sniff them.
“It’s a habit.”
Yoonhae offered an excuse to Jungjoon’s startled gaze. A faint, inexplicable smile brushed past his lips. Casually changing, he patted Jungjoon’s shoulder as if it were his own home.
“Come out after you change.”
With a thud, the door closed, and Jungjoon turned his head back. The tension that had pooled in his back dispersed, loosening the stiffness he hadn’t noticed.
“…….”
Jungjoon’s hand clutched the half-open shirtfront, gripping it so hard his knuckles whitened. Letting out a shaky breath, he fumbled with the remaining buttons, his hands clumsy from the anxiety that the door might reopen any second.
Even after changing, he lingered a while before stepping out. In the living room, dinner was already set with delivered pizza and pasta. Ian was bouncing with excitement, waving his hands and feet, while Yoonhae sat beside him, skillfully serving the food.
“Come eat.”
“…No, I ate out already. You two go ahead.”
Lacking an appetite and trying to excuse himself, Yoonhae’s words stopped him.
“Still, sit with us.”
“…….”
No good excuse came to mind. Rolling his eyes, Jungjoon reluctantly sat across from them.
“Ian, is it good?”
Ian ate eagerly without glancing at his dad. Nodding with a smile to Yoonhae’s question, he got a whisper from Yoonhae for some reason. Then Ian’s eyes, fixed on the pizza, turned to Jungjoon across the table.
“Daddy, eat this…!”
Caught off guard by the offered pizza, Jungjoon froze. Ian, holding out a slice with bite marks, beamed brightly.
“…….”
Staring silently, Jungjoon soon gave a faint smile and leaned in. Tilting his head, he took a bite of the pizza Ian offered.
“It’s tastier because Ian gave it to me.”
Saying “Thank you,” Ian smiled shyly.
“Ian, what about Uncle?”
At the coaxing from beside him, Ian soon offered the pizza to Yoonhae too. Taking a bite from the same spot Jungjoon had, Yoonhae ruffled Ian’s hair.
After what seemed like a cozy dinner, Jungjoon expected Yoonhae to leave, but he showed no sign of it. Instead, he started preparing Ian for brushing his teeth.
“Uh, I can do that… You must be tired from work; you don’t have to anymore.”
Jungjoon wanted to say it was time to go.
“I’m not tired. I’m doing it because I want to.”
“…Still, don’t you need to head home for work tomorrow? It’s getting late.”
Avoiding what he really wanted to say, Jungjoon hedged, but Yoonhae cut in with a request.
“I was planning to stay over. That’s okay, right?”
Overwhelmed by his casual demeanor, Jungjoon stammered before giving in.
“Uh… sure.”
From the bathroom, Ian’s voice called out, “Uncle, hurry—!”
As Yoonhae left to tend to Ian, Jungjoon, left alone, faltered before slowly starting the dishes. Usually, he’d do them before or after putting Ian to bed, but today, the order had unexpectedly shifted.
It should’ve been convenient… Despite dreaming of shared parenting, he didn’t feel particularly pleased. Hearing Ian, who hated washing up, giggling from the bathroom somehow sank his mood further.
He’s so happy—have I been doing it wrong all this time? His thoughts started to spiral.
“Uh, where’s the duck boat?”
A voice overhead made him look up.
“…Huh?”
His gloved hands paused.
“The duck boat toy. Ian wants to play with it in the tub, but I can’t find it.”
“Oh… that. It’s, uh, in the top bathroom drawer…”
Lowering his eyes, Jungjoon directed him.
“I’m going to wash up with him.”
“Is that okay?” Yoonhae asked, already shirtless with water dripping from him. A mumbled “Mhm” was enough, and he returned to the bathroom.
“…….”
Scrubbing a dish, Jungjoon calmed his startled heart. The lingering image of a half-naked figure so close wasn’t exactly pleasant.
How to describe it? Like a “human weapon”—a ridiculous nickname that fit. Clothed, he might look cool, but stripped down, it was intimidating.
He hadn’t meant to stare, but it grated on him. Since Yoonhae changed earlier, it’d felt off. Even between men or acquaintances, it went beyond casual into rudeness. His nonchalant attitude teetered on crossing a line.
Isn’t he too comfortable here? The more he thought, the more the intrusion into his private space gnawed at him.
Struggling to regain his composure, he finished the dishes. He sat quietly in the living room corner, waiting as Yoonhae emerged from the bathroom, tended to Ian, and put him to bed.
“Good job.”
Jungjoon opened with praise as Yoonhae finished parenting duties.
“Want to talk for a bit?”
Dangling a beer, Yoonhae lowered the towel from his neck with a crooked smile. Coming over, he took the offered can and downed it in one go.
“Taking care of kids is tough, huh?”
“No, it’s fun.”
His expression seemed genuine.
“…….”
After a stretch of silence with just drinking, Jungjoon abruptly broached the point.
“So… why’d you do that today?”
As he lifted his glass, Yoonhae raised an eyebrow with an “Hm?”
“Earlier… at the daycare.”
A brief pause for thought passed before a low “Ohh…” of realization came.
He sighed, looking a bit troubled, unlike before.
“I couldn’t help it. Because of Ian.”
“What do you mean…?”
Jungjoon asked, puzzled. Setting his glass down with a clink, Yoonhae rubbed his brow tiredly and answered.
“I heard that most parents at that daycare are trait-bearers.”
“…….”
“You know how it is… People around here can be exclusionary. If they knew he had non-trait parents or a single-parent home, some would subtly ostracize him…”
Yoonhae clicked his tongue in disgust as he explained.
“I figured it’d be better for us to pretend to be trait-bearer parents than let Ian face something bad by being honest. It just happened, but now I think about it, you must’ve felt uncomfortable being suddenly treated as an omega… Even if it was for Ian, I overstepped.”
“…….”
“Anyway, since I dragged us here, I felt responsible to make a better environment for you and Ian. Even pretending to be his dad when he’s not mine… It must’ve been unsettling and upsetting for you in many ways. I’m sorry.”
Jungjoon was momentarily speechless. The conversation had veered into completely unexpected territory.
“…Oh… so that’s… that’s what it was.”
His mind was a mess.
“I had no idea, really…”
His prepared resolve faltered in an instant. What he’d seen as a calculated act, an insensitive overstep, or even malicious overreach turned out to be pure consideration. How could he not be thrown?
“You could’ve given me a heads-up. It was just so sudden and confusing…”
“Yeah, it just kinda happened… Sorry.”
“No… you were looking out for him. You don’t need to apologize…”
Waving his hands awkwardly, Jungjoon still felt disoriented. Was it really necessary to go that far? Yet, he was grateful for Yoonhae’s willingness to endure such hassle to preempt any trouble.
He empathized with Yoonhae’s concerns. Ian had already faced awkward situations due to his mom’s absence, and innocent discrimination among kids had happened too.
At the previous daycare, Jungjoon hadn’t connected well with other parents. Partly due to his busy schedule, but also because revealing he was a single parent had led to subtle, off-putting experiences that made him withdraw.
“It would’ve been better if you’d told me, but it didn’t seem like there was time for that either…”
The more he reflected, the more he leaned toward Yoonhae’s judgment being sound and right.
“…Thanks. For thinking of Ian.”
Adding a quiet thank-you, Jungjoon took a sip of his beer.
Yoonhae fell silent after that. For a while, they paused the conversation, quietly tilting their drinks back and forth. Then, at some point, Jungjoon recalled how Yoonhae had mentioned the entrance light while wrapping an arm around his shoulder. He hesitated to ask whether it was just part of the act to appear like a couple or if there really had been an issue, because the memory of that touch lingered as an unpleasant sensation.
“So, uh… what was that about the entrance light being broken?”
When he cautiously brought up the question, Yoonhae responded with an “Oh, that,” in his usual casual tone.
“There’s supposed to be a light under the shoe rack at the entrance, but it’s been out. I forgot about it and only remembered now, so I called someone.”
“Oh…”
Realizing it was true, a thin wave of shame washed over him. Acknowledging once again that he’d been overly defensive and sensitive, Jungjoon lowered his head.
Had his last encounter with Yoonhae unconsciously affected him? The way Yoonhae had disappeared without a word had left a strange feeling lingering, and it seemed that ever since, Jungjoon had been prone to overinterpreting Yoonhae’s incomprehensible actions without realizing it.
“The technician’s coming tomorrow morning.”
“Oh, but I’ll be at work in the morning. Could it maybe be another day…?”
“If it’s okay with you, I can stay to oversee the repair and lock up afterward.”
“Huh? No, I’d feel too bad about that…”
“I should’ve taken care of it sooner, so I’m the one who should feel bad. Anyway, fixing and managing stuff like this is my responsibility, so don’t feel burdened.”
“…Uh… okay… then, I’ll leave it to you.”
It was hard to firmly refuse, so he ended up agreeing. It was also the result of convincing himself that he should simply accept a kind gesture for what it was.
That should settle it…
Even as he thought this, there was a strange lingering unease in a corner of his mind. It might’ve been a habitual defensiveness born from repeated misunderstandings. Or perhaps it was the lingering aftereffects of a past he couldn’t shake off.
If that were the case, it would likely never fully disappear from within him, remaining somewhere inside, occasionally stirring up bitter misunderstandings and a flood of accompanying emotions.
With an uneasy premonition, Jungjoon downed his drink, his mood growing somber.
He’d thought there wouldn’t be a reason to see Yoonhae again for a while. But unexpectedly, he found himself face-to-face with him just two days after that last drinking session.
“…Uh…”
Returning from grocery shopping after work, Jungjoon saw Yoonhae standing by the front door. His large frame, befitting the term “giant,” leaned casually against the wall, one hand holding what looked like a gift box of wine.
“No heads-up—what brings you here…?”
“I came to surprise you.”
Straightening up upon seeing Jungjoon, Yoonhae waved the wine with a smile.
“…….”
As Jungjoon unlocked the door, he couldn’t even muster a pretend smile. He hadn’t expected his rare bit of free time to be interrupted so abruptly. The small plans he’d made for himself alone crumbled, leaving only disappointment in their wake.
“Where’s Ian?”
“Oh… he went to his grandma’s last night.”
“Guess I timed it perfectly then. So you won’t be lonely.”
Instead of responding, Jungjoon gave a bitter, evasive smile as he opened the door. Stepping inside together, the sensor lights flicked on, and a bright glow illuminated the area beneath the shoe rack.
“Oh… that light really does make it brighter and nicer. Thanks.”
“Does it? Glad you like it.”
Entering the living room, Yoonhae turned on the air conditioning like he owned the place. Then he flopped onto the sofa, draping his head and one arm over the backrest.
“I’m getting hungry. You?”
“…Yeah, me too. Sit tight for a sec. There’s not much here, but I’ll whip up something simple.”
“Sounds good then.”
Telling him to relax, Jungjoon went into the bedroom. He quickly changed to prepare food and came out to find Yoonhae lounging comfortably, watching TV as if it were his own home.
Standing in the kitchen, Jungjoon blinked, momentarily dazed. Though he’d stepped into the kitchen, he had no motivation to prepare a proper guest meal. He’d planned to just fry an egg and eat it with side dishes alone, so this left him at a loss.
What should I make? After pondering the menu, he pulled a couple of items from the freezer—frozen galbi-tang and frozen dumplings. He’d also make an egg roll with the eggs he’d bought today.
Being frozen food, it cooked in no time. While the galbi-tang simmered, he finished the egg roll and dumplings. Finally, he chopped green onions into the fully heated galbi-tang and sprinkled some pepper.
“Smells amazing.”
Jungjoon hadn’t heard the approaching footsteps over the TV. Startled by the low voice settling near his ear, he turned and elbowed Yoonhae, who’d crept up unnoticed.
“Go sit. I’ll bring it over soon.”
While Jungjoon set the table, Yoonhae sat still as told. Watching him accept the meal with a slightly haughty air, Jungjoon had to bustle around. It oddly felt like he was serving the head of the household.
Once everything was ready, Yoonhae said a quick “Thanks for the meal” and dug in. Seeing a bowl vanish in the blink of an eye, Jungjoon couldn’t help but ask if he wanted more.
Over the course of Yoonhae refilling his soup and rice three times, Jungjoon barely finished one bowl. Yoonhae ate like he’d been starving for days, then rubbed his not-even-bulging muscular stomach and leaned back, finally sated.
“Whew, I ate like crazy.”
“…Glad you enjoyed it.”
“Your cooking’s tamed my stomach or something. I haven’t had an appetite lately, but this was really delicious.”
Clearing the table, Jungjoon only slightly lifted the corners of his lips. Hearing this about frozen food left him speechless. They sell it at the store, so you could just buy it yourself. He nearly said it sarcastically but instead left with a simple, “I’ll grab some fruit.”
Even after dessert, Yoonhae showed no sign of leaving. Normally, Jungjoon would’ve read for an hour or two after a quick meal before heading to the gym, but Yoonhae’s visit had thrown everything off.
“What do you usually do when Ian’s not around?”
“Nothing much. Just read, watch movies…”
“You like watching movies?”
“I do.”
“It’s been forever since I’ve been to a theater… More than five years, I think?”
“…Really?”
“Since it came up, want to go catch one? I heard there’s a good gangster movie out.”
“Oh… I’m not big on violent stuff, so… Uh, we can watch new movies on the TV here. How about just relaxing at home?”
He didn’t want to go to a theater and watch a movie alone with Yoonhae. Imagining sitting side by side in the dark felt unsettling.
“Alright, let’s do that then?”
As Yoonhae picked up the remote and started flipping through movie channels, Jungjoon felt relieved. No matter what, staying home together was far better than two guys wandering around a theater.
“Should we turn off the lights and set a theater vibe?”
“Uh, sure.”
Jungjoon dimmed the living room as requested.
“I’ve got some snacks—should I grab them? Beer too?”
“Just one can each?”
“Sounds good.”
Setting out snacks and beer on the sofa table, Yoonhae leaned forward and grabbed a can. With a pssh, the sound of carbonation escaping rang out as he opened it.
“Do you watch stuff like porn with this too?”
“…No.”
Gulp, gulp—Yoonhae downed the beer with a refreshing sound. Flipping through movies with the remote, he gave a suggestive smile.
“Was this one good?”
Lifting his head at the question, Jungjoon saw something unexpected on the screen. It was his viewing history, showing content he’d watched before. The movie Yoonhae had selected was the most recent one Jungjoon had seen.
“…Uh, yeah. It was decent, I guess.”
It just had to be a film rated 19+. The foreign actress on the poster exuded an unnecessarily sensual vibe. He hadn’t picked it for that reason, and even if he had, it wouldn’t matter at his age, but the earlier conversation made Jungjoon feel awkwardly embarrassed.
“Hmm… so you like melodramas.”
Yoonhae kept scrolling through the viewing history. Jungjoon hadn’t even known this stuff was saved. Feeling exposed, as if a private part of him had been laid bare, he couldn’t sit still any longer and snatched the remote from Yoonhae.
“…Let’s watch something new.”
He randomly picked an action movie from the latest releases and hit play.
“…….”
As the film started, loud sound effects filled the living room. Jungjoon set the remote on the table and sat down, feeling reluctant. Instead of joining Yoonhae on the sofa, he sat on the floor mat, using the sofa as a backrest.
The thought of being stuck there for two hours already made him feel claustrophobic. Hoping the movie might at least spark some interest, he followed the screen with bleary eyes.
But, bitterly, the film was dull from the start and remained a parade of tedious scenes. Growing fed up with the endless monotony that ate up time without any thrill, Jungjoon dozed off and woke up. The end credits were already rolling.
There was no sound or movement from behind him. Thinking Yoonhae might be asleep, he turned to see eyes looking down at him from the sofa.
“…Uh… how was it?”
At his question, Yoonhae leaned his head back with a groan.
“It was fun.”
Stretching his heavy frame, he answered.
“I’m all stiff—want to work out together?”
“…Huh?”
“Let’s hit the gym.”
“Oh… I’m kinda tired today… Why don’t you go? Or…”
The words Wouldn’t it be better to just head home? lingered on his tongue.
“You can’t let your muscles waste away. Get up.”
Yoonhae stood energetically. Watching him gear up to leave, Jungjoon felt only lethargy. If he wanted to exercise, he could do it alone… But realizing asserting himself was something reserved for closer relationships, he sighed and got up.
Even walking down from the apartment to the private fitness center, he wasn’t keen. Still, since he was here, he decided to do it properly and stepped onto a treadmill first.
While stretching, Yoonhae soon joined him on the empty treadmill beside him. Jungjoon thought there was no need to do the same workout just because they came together, but he couldn’t exactly tell Yoonhae, already there, to get off.
…Maybe I shouldn’t have come.
Regret over joining Yoonhae started creeping in. The possibility of running into someone he knew made it hard to focus. Since someone in the complex now saw him and Yoonhae as an “alpha-omega” couple, word could spread among parents, inviting more misunderstanding stares.
“…….”
Feeling the pressure, he stepped off the treadmill after less than thirty minutes. Yoonhae followed suit, his presence trailing behind. The nervous tension peaked moments later.
“Hello.”
The greeting came from someone Jungjoon unfortunately recognized. Not quite a close acquaintance, but familiar enough—a woman who’d asked him about gym equipment not long ago.
“Oh… hi.”
“You’re here late today.”
She smiled, showing intent to chat. Feeling his temples tense, Jungjoon wiped sweat with the towel around his neck.
“…Yeah, it just happened…”
Noticing her gaze shift behind him, Jungjoon said, “Well then…” and slipped away.
He sat at the nearest shoulder press machine, and Yoonhae passed by, settling at a nearby machine. Ignoring him, Jungjoon started his shoulder workout as if he weren’t there.
Trying to shake off stray thoughts, he lifted the machine, focusing on breathing and form. After finishing his shoulder set and stepping toward the next machine, Yoonhae approached naturally, as if he’d been waiting.
“Want me to check your form?”
“…What?”
“I’ll take a look.”
“Uh… no, I’ve got my usual routine…”
Despite the indirect refusal, Yoonhae smiled and pulled him along. Jungjoon, startled as his arm was grabbed, tried to pull away but followed reluctantly, wary of drawing attention.
Yoonhae acted like a trainer, guiding Jungjoon through exercises. Watching from the side, he pointed out flaws and, like a trainer, touched Jungjoon’s body. After a squat, he pressed Jungjoon’s thigh, noting the tension was only there, then moved his hand to Jungjoon’s stiff backside—his glutes.
“Your thighs are tight, but this is soft.”
“…….”
“You need to use your glutes. Don’t just rely on your thighs pointlessly.”
Jungjoon clenched his fist unconsciously, tension surging where Yoonhae’s hand rested.
“Want to try again?”
“…….”
Lowering his eyes, Jungjoon silently resumed the squat. As he lowered his body, Yoonhae knelt beside him. To check his form, Yoonhae placed a hand under Jungjoon’s glutes.
“Down to here.”
Sweat trickled from Jungjoon’s temple. Yoonhae’s palm soon pressed against the inside of Jungjoon’s bent knees. Realizing the awkward position, dizziness hit him.
“Feeling the tension? Push up with your glutes.”
Jungjoon straightened his legs, Yoonhae’s trainer-like chatter buzzing in the background, but none of it registered.
He couldn’t stay there any longer—not for exercise or anything else. When he came to, he was already crossing the gym into the showers.
Stripping and fleeing into the shower, he turned on cold water, letting the harsh stream hit him. Rubbing his face frantically, he shuddered at the lingering sensation on his body.
Replaying the moment only deepened his confusion. Everything felt off. Or was it him who was off?
No. Even so, that kind of touch wasn’t necessary…
Only when his body and mind cooled did he realize he’d left too abruptly. His head spun with excuses he might need. Those thoughts cut off as someone entered beside him.
“Was it that tough?”
The familiar voice echoing in the shower stiffened Jungjoon’s body.
“…….”
Mid-lather, he froze, unable to respond.
“What’s wrong?”
The puzzled tone sounded theatrical. Sensing the gaze on him, Jungjoon hurriedly resumed lathering.
“…Nothing.”
“Doesn’t seem like nothing.”
“…….”
“You’ve been acting really weird since earlier, you know?”
No water ran beside him. Jungjoon scrubbed his face roughly with foamy hands, blocking his vision.
“…Have I? Same as always.”
“Even during the workout… you were super conscious of people watching.”
“…….”
“Oh, was it because of that woman?”
Jungjoon’s heart thumped in response.
“…What are you talking about?”
“She was pretty. Did you meet her here? The vibe when she said hi seemed kinda off.”
“…….”
Moments later, Yoonhae let out an “Ohh…” as if realizing something.
“Maybe a stepmom candidate for Ian?”
Jungjoon couldn’t tell if it was a joke or serious. Unable to see his face, it just sounded several times more malicious and bizarre.
“Already slept with her?”
Unable to endure the rudeness, Jungjoon snapped.
“Why don’t you shut up?”
He rinsed off with the showerhead and left the shower in silence, Yoonhae staying quiet throughout. Feeling Yoonhae follow, Jungjoon dressed and exited the locker room without a glance, delaying nothing.
Treating Yoonhae like an invisible shadow persisted as they rode the elevator up and entered the apartment.
“Why don’t you leave now?”
Jungjoon tossed his phone down with a thud as he spoke.
“…….”
Yoonhae stood near the entrance, still watching him. What did he want? Jungjoon couldn’t fathom his actions from the gym to now.
He didn’t get why Yoonhae had followed him here in this mood. The oblivious, persistent trailing reminded him of back then, and the vivid sensations triggered by small stimuli sharpened Jungjoon’s nerves.
“What are you gonna do alone?”
The low voice quietly echoed down the hall.
Once again, an inscrutable question.
“…Whatever I do, what’s that got to do with you right now?”
Jungjoon exhaled an irritated breath through his nose. Suddenly, everything felt unbearable. He wanted to shove the man in front of him out the door.
“Watch a movie with naked women and jerk off?”
“…….”
Jungjoon turned around sharply, incredulous.
“Or… call that woman you met today? Did her smile get you all worked up down there? Wanna fuck her?”
“…….”
Staring at the crude nonsense, Jungjoon’s mind went blank. The rapid-fire sarcasm was too much to process, leaving him reeling silently as his head overloaded. For a few seconds of silence, a chill ran through him like goosebumps.
“……Get out.”
Madness, nausea, uncontrollable trembling overwhelmed him.
Finally.
Finally.
Finally.
Only now.
He was sick of his own stupidity for just now fully realizing the man before him was unhinged.
“Get out now…!”
Jungjoon grabbed the beast-like man with a tensed right hand. A low, trembling laugh, as if delighted beyond control, shattered near his ear.
“Don’t wanna.”
Yoonhae turned and seized both of Jungjoon’s hands.
“Let go…!”
“You want me gone?”
“Get out now! This is…!”
Unable to say my house, Jungjoon trembled with rage. Sensing that suppressed fury, Yoonhae let out a short, mocking sigh and nodded.
“Alright, I’ll go.”
“…….”
The unexpectedly compliant reply drained the strength from Jungjoon’s hands for a moment.
“If you kiss me.”
The shameless lips curved before his eyes.
Jungjoon’s mind blanked as if it had crashed. For a few seconds, he was lost, mentally dissecting and reassembling the sentence. Kiss. A kiss. Grasping its literal meaning, he thrashed, gripping the hands holding him.
“You crazy bastard…!”
Unable to contain his anger, he spat curses, and Yoonhae’s eyes turned cold as a snake’s.
“Don’t talk like that.”
Jungjoon stopped struggling and looked up at him.
“Crazy bastard this, crazy bastard that… those words hurt, you know, between us.”
“It’s kinda unfamiliar too…” he muttered lowly.
“…….”
“And a kiss? It’s not a big deal. Didn’t we do it every day when we were kids?”
Day and night, anytime, dozens, hundreds of times under the blankets, more than newlyweds—we did it. Yoonhae’s eyes narrowed as if savoring a fond memory.
Stunned, Jungjoon stared at him silently.
A kiss…
Of course, he remembered being forced to kiss daily. Back then, it was an act he’d reluctantly endured to appease a nearly tyrannical child.
But it was never a kiss in any sexual sense—just a means to calm a draining kid. That Yoonhae could speak of such a bottomless memory like this was unbelievable to Jungjoon.
“…You’re joking, right? You’re messing with me now, aren’t you?”
He hoped Yoonhae would say it was a joke, even now. He didn’t care about the real intent. If it could just get him through this moment, end this discomfort, he’d willingly play along in this absurd farce as if nothing happened.
Yoonhae gazed down at the desperate Jungjoon. Rolling his eyes sideways as if thinking, he spat out,
“…No.”
His eyes carried a strange amusement.
“…Fine. Okay… I get it… Can’t we just… let go and talk?”
His breathing felt strained. Jungjoon pleaded, pulling at the hands still holding him. Yoonhae released him, and Jungjoon rubbed his tingling wrists.
Fierce thoughts clashed, a storm of emotions swirling. Suppressing the strongest one threatening to burst out, he opened his mouth.
“I get why you’re doing this… I understand your feelings.”
Wetting his throat with saliva, he stammered out the words.
“We… grew up without parents, in that ridiculous place, living so much harder than others…”
“…….”
“We were so young… we had no one but each other to lean on… we were each other’s only family… So… meeting again after so long, those feelings, that affection you get from family—from me—must’ve suddenly come back, and you missed it. Yeah… that’s totally understandable.”
He looked up at Yoonhae with a desperate hope for agreement.
“…Yeah.”
And with that agreeing word, Yoonhae lowered his eyes.
“I’ve always thought of you as my wife.”
Jungjoon felt suffocated. Despair engulfed him, like both feet were sinking into a mire. Hearing “wife” again from the grown, sane-looking Yoonhae darkened his vision.
His actor-like looks and athletic build became irrelevant. His impeccable exterior didn’t matter. Right now, he just looked insane.
“…Stop it.”
“Stop what?”
“Stop saying creepy shit! Are you planning to never see me again after today?!”
As Jungjoon snapped, Yoonhae snorted dismissively.
“Naive or just stupid…”
After a few hollow laughs, his tone turned fully mocking.
“…What?”
“You think we could just decide not to see each other?”
He rubbed his chin and dragged his hand down his thick neck.
“Either you kill me, or I kill you. Isn’t that the only realistic way for us to stop seeing each other?”
He stared straight at the paling Jungjoon and added,
“Just kidding, so relax.”
“…….”
“So… when are you gonna kiss me?”
He pressed with a light, sleazy tone.
“…Stay here as long as you want. Do whatever you like.”
Muttering sharply, Jungjoon turned with a pale face. He strode quickly to the bedroom. His heart pounded as footsteps followed, thumping loudly.
“What should I do?”
A grip tightened on his arm, turning him around.
“I really want it now.”
Panicking at the closeness, Jungjoon shook off the arm.
“Let go…!”
Overwhelmed, he bowed his head, unable to speak for seconds. Then, a weary, sunken voice emerged.
“I’m not in the mood for this. I’m tired, I want to sleep. I’m going to bed, so just leave.”
“Then do it. Kiss me.”
Though he’d asked as calmly as possible, the response was frustratingly repetitive.
“…You… can you still face Ian confidently after this?”
“Why wouldn’t I? Even a kid’s dad needs to date. Have a sex life too.”
Jungjoon’s stomach twisted as if he’d eaten something rotten, nausea rising. Sungha… His brow furrowed as he stammered.
“Then what about Sungha…?”
Wasn’t she your girlfriend? he asked, half-accusing, half-pleading. Yoonhae stretched out an “Mmm…” with a face devoid of seriousness.
“She’s an ally. Sungha.”
“…….”
Who could’ve predicted this? As the layers peeled back, revealing the truth, shock hit him like part of his world had collapsed.
Overwhelmed by successive waves of emptiness, Jungjoon shut his eyes tight. In this situation—where he couldn’t tell what was planned or fake—everything began turning into suspicion.
“So you… back then, that too…”
He hesitated mid-sentence. A contradiction of wanting and not wanting to know.