DTD 20

Even though we were sitting together at a table for a meal, my mind was completely fixated on the will. When I encountered her in hell, Yuran never said a word about it. So I naturally assumed there wasn’t one. Yet, Taeyoung had it in her hands.

“To think I’m dining with two such famous people here in the Ark. I guess living a long time really does let you see all sorts of things.”

“Haha…”

I couldn’t even tell if the food was going into my mouth or nose. I was just desperately waiting for her meal to be over. Only once we moved on to tea time did Taeyoung finally break the silence as she sipped her tea.

“How much do you know <Contradiction>?”

“I know that Ms Yuran Choi died in the rift and that it’s currently on display in a museum.”

“That’s the widely known version.”

Clink—. 

The sound of a teacup being set down broke the silence.

“<Contradiction> is a spiritual artifact my uncle, the previous guild master, desperately wanted. So he offered as much money as needed to anyone willing to enter the rift. That was the only way to get someone to go.”

“Was it because someone had to die in the rift?”

“Exactly. I wouldn’t have gone either. But two people volunteered. One of them was a senior who often took on unpleasant tasks no one else wanted to do, so I wasn’t too surprised. But the other one… totally unexpected.”

It must have been Mom and Yuran. That part I already knew.

“When I asked Yuran-unnie why she suddenly wanted to go… she said she made a deal. With my uncle.”

“A deal?”

“I’ll bring back <Contradiction>. But in exchange, I get to keep it,’ were her words.”

My eyes widened at something I was hearing for the first time.

“And the guild master agreed to that?”

“I guess he thought it was better for a fellow guild member to have it than let it fall into another guild’s hands.”

Before the past changed, the previous owner of <Contradiction> was Sehwa’s former guild master. But after the timeline shifted, so did its owner. I had assumed it was Mom. But it was Auntie Yuran… Why on earth did she donate it to the museum?

“I was against it.”

“Against Ms. Yuran going into the rift?”

“Yeah. I didn’t want her or Yooyeon-sunbae to go. Sunbae was someone I trusted and looked up to, after all. But in the end, the two of them went in… and only one came back.”

Mom returned to the real world thanks to Yuran’s sacrifice. Yet Taeyoung furrowed her brow, as if the truth still didn’t sit right with her.

“To be honest… I thought Yuran-unnie would be the one to return.”

“…Why?”

“Yooyeon-sunbae… I was sure she would choose to sacrifice herself. That’s the kind of person she was.”

Yeah. That’s how it was supposed to go. But Yuran collected <Divine Comedy> and changed the past.

“When Yooyeon-sunbae returned, I asked her what had happened, but she never said a word.”

A heavy silence fell. Taeyoung stared into her teacup with a furrowed brow, lost in memory. Then suddenly, the corners of her mouth twisted up in a dry laugh.

“Unnie wasn’t a sweet person, you know? She had a sharp tongue. But… she was a really good person.”

“I’m sure she was. A truly good person.”

“She wasn’t someone who should’ve died in a place like that rift. I couldn’t sleep for days thinking about her. But everyone else forgot her like she never existed, and only obsessed over <Contradiction>, and who would get it now… My uncle was just seeing dollar signs, saying it belonged to him.”

Taeyoung bit her lip so hard it looked like it might split, swallowing back all the words she couldn’t say. Instead of trying to comfort her, I quietly poured more tea into her empty cup. As the rising steam brushed her cheeks, it turned into tears. She quickly turned her head and wiped them away.

“Sorry. I’ve never talked about Unnie to anyone before…”

“It’s okay. Take your time.”

After a deep breath, she composed herself and began again.

“Unless it’s a special case, spiritual artifacts get passed down like heirlooms. So, <Contradiction> should’ve gone to Yuran-unnie’s family. But since she didn’t have any, it almost went to auction… until they found the will.”

Taeyoung gently pulled the will from her coat and held it with both hands. As she stared down at the aged paper, her eyes brimmed with complicated emotions—loss, betrayal, longing.

“She must’ve made up her mind before entering the rift. That she’d die in Yooyeon-sunbae’s place… and that people would covet <Contradiction>.”

She set the will down on the table and slid it toward me. I had thought it didn’t exist, but there it was: Yuran Choi’s will. Unlike Mom’s neat handwriting, hers was messy yet bold, just like her personality.

Yooyeon-ah,

I don’t have time to say much, so I’ll keep it short. You have no interest in <Contradiction>, right? I knew that, but I really don’t want that crazy old man to have it. So, put <Contradiction> in the safe in my room and donate it to the museum. One day, someone who knows the answer will come for it.

Mom donated <Contradiction> anonymously to the museum because of Auntie Yuran’s last request. When we met in hell, she hadn’t mentioned any of this. Maybe she thought I had nothing to do with <Contradiction>. If I’d known just a little sooner, I would’ve asked her about the password…

As I stared at the will in frustration, Taeyoung suddenly spoke up.

“There was an uproar when the will was discovered.”

“Why?”

“Everyone thought Unnie would leave <Contradiction> to Yooyeon-sunbae. My uncle was counting on getting it from her. But Yuran must’ve known that, so she donated it to the museum instead.”

A bitter smile crossed her face.

“Yooyeon-sunbae never cared for it. She wasn’t someone who needed something like <Contradiction>.”

Contradiction’s ability was to prevent lies from being discovered. Maybe Mom didn’t need it because she had lived her whole life honestly. She had spent her life helping others, only to tell one lie to save her child, leave home, and die alone in the end, without even someone by her side.

Wasn’t that the true contradiction?

“What… kind of person was Ms Yooyeon?”

“I was still young at the time, and she was always busy, so we weren’t close. But everyone respected her.”

“She must’ve been a great sunbae.”

“Oh, she definitely was. She took care of me like a daughter… Why is it always the good ones who leave so soon…?”

Her hand trembled slightly around the teacup.

“Ah, I’m bringing down the mood. This isn’t what I came here for.”

Ha ha. She gave an awkward laugh and tucked her short hair behind her ear. Her earlier poise was gone, but somehow, this version of her felt more real, more relatable.

“Did you ever hear about the safe’s password?”

“You mean the flower name? When I first heard it, I thought the will was fake.”

“Why?”

“Because Yuran-unnie hated flowers. Said they were a hassle to take care of, and if anyone wanted to give her something, they should just give her cash.”

She smiled, finally at ease.

“So when I visit her grave, I never bring flowers.”

“There’s a gravesite for Ms Yuran?”

“There’s no body, but we buried some of her belongings. Yooyeon-sunbae set it up.”

Maybe I could find a clue about the safe’s password there. Or maybe… I just wanted to go to her grave.

“Can you give me the address?”

“Of course. I haven’t been in a while myself.”

Taeyoung readily wrote the address on a note. It wasn’t far from the memorial forest where my parents were. As I carefully tucked the note into my pocket, Taeyoung checked her phone and suddenly stood up.

“Looks like something came up at the guild. I’ve got to go.”

“I’ll give you a ride.”

“No need. That’s what staff are for.”

“But—”

“You’ve got somewhere else to be, don’t you?”

When I couldn’t deny it, she smiled, just like Auntie Yuran once did.

“Oh, right. If you meet Yuran-unnie… could you pass a message on for me?”

She glanced down at the now yellowed will and gave a bittersweet laugh.

“Tell her it’s boring without someone around to scold me.”

****

Following the address Taeyoung gave me, I found Yuran’s name among the gravestones. Unlike the other graves adorned with flowers, the deceased had loved in life, hers was surrounded by nothing, only a few dried ginkgo leaves rolled by. Not even a single visitor, it seemed, aside from Taeyoung. Dust had gathered on the memorial stone.

I wiped the dust away with a handkerchief and placed on top the fried chicken and Americano she had said she missed so much. It was nothing like a traditional offering, but perhaps that’s exactly why it felt so much like her.

“Ms Taeyoung says she’s bored without someone around to scold her.”

I murmured into the empty air, where no one listened and no one answered.

“…What kind of flower did you like, Auntie?”

Just then, a cool autumn breeze swept through. For a moment, I almost thought I could hear her laughter.

On the way back, I stopped by my parents’ memorial forest with Sang. Unlike my aunt, Mom had loved flowers, so we headed to the florist near the memorial site. Sang had said I absolutely couldn’t show up to a sudden family reunion empty-handed.

“I’m here to visit my parents’ resting place.”

“Did they have a favorite flower while they were alive?”

“…Sorry?”

“These days, instead of just white chrysanthemums, we recommend choosing something they personally liked.”

She loved everything. Really, she did. On sunny days, she’d spend all day watering the pots that filled the veranda. Dad never cared much for flowers, but after Mom passed, he was busy taking care of the ones she’d left behind. Of course, the flower she liked the most was particularly high-maintenance, and Dad really struggled with it.

“It’d be hard to make that into a bouquet…”

As I reminisced about those days, a sudden thought flashed through my mind.

Could it be?

“Sorry. I’ll come back another time.”

I suddenly bolted out of the flower shop, and Sang rushed out after me.

“Hyung, what’s going on?”

“I think I know… what flower Auntie Yuran used as the password.”

“What?”

“We gotta go to the museum, now!”

We jumped in the car and raced to the museum. Of course, it was closed, but thanks to the staff member who had previously shown me Mom’s letter, we were allowed in without trouble. Like someone being chased, I ran down the empty museum hallways to the special exhibition room.

When I opened the door, the only thing lit was the glass safe, seemingly welcoming me. The silver shield, still gleaming more brilliantly than ever, waited inside. I stepped forward and reached out, only to be blocked by the cold glass wall.

Like <Contradiction>’s shield, the safe couldn’t be broken by any weapon or awakened power. It responded only to one thing: the name of a flower. Naturally, everyone assumed it must be the owner’s favorite flower.

“Auntie Yuran hated flowers.”

She had disliked flowers in life. But she had deliberately chosen a flower’s name for the password.

There could only be one reason why.

‘Dad, why are there so many plants on the veranda?’

‘It’s what your mom loved. So now I take care of it for her.’

If Yuran had truly loved my mom… if she had decided to die in Mom’s place…

‘Hajae, make sure to keep telling it how pretty it is, okay?’

After spending seven years collecting <Divine Comedy> and finally stepping into the rift, what must she have been feeling when she wrote that will?

What was in her heart? What was she thinking?

“Okay. So what’s this one called?”

Had she chosen a password that only my mom could have known?

“…Orchid.”

At that moment, the solid glass wall that had blocked me melted away like water. It sank to the floor and vanished.

****

When I found out that it was my mother who had donated <Contradiction> to the museum, I became even more confused. If it were truly her, I felt she wouldn’t have set a password with just any flower she liked; she would have chosen one with meaning. But the moment I realized the real owner of <Contradiction> was Aunt Yuran, everything finally made sense.

Seven years of effort gathering the <Divine Comedy> all alone just to save my mother, the way she behaved inside that hellish place, the message she asked me to deliver, the will she left behind in this world… once all of it came together, no other answer was possible.

“Hyung, how did you figure out the password?”

“Hmm… It just felt like something she would do.”

Auntie Yuran had known my mother wouldn’t need <Contradiction>. Yet she deliberately created a riddle only my mother, or her family, could solve. Maybe this was her way of disguising her feelings, leaving them somewhere in the world, wrapped up in a challenge.

In any case, it’s a relief. We got to the source of it all in time.

“It’s beautiful…. so much so that it makes me angry. Don’t you think?”

It was hard to believe it was forged from solid metal. The craftsmanship was that delicate. Topped off with the red tassel symbolizing the royal family, it was no wonder museumgoers would stand in awe before it.

But this thing was a monster. It devoured both my mother and aunt, and now it had its eyes on me and Sang. A vile, cursed relic.

“…I hate it.”

As I stood up, holding the shield in both hands, the door to the special exhibit burst open, and a museum employee rushed in. She gasped, covering her mouth when she saw the glass wall had vanished without a trace. Then her gaze landed on <Contradiction> in my hands.

“I can’t believe… Someone actually solved it…”

Her wide eyes reflected not fear or suspicion, but pure curiosity.

“How did you figure it out?”

“Ah, just lucky, I guess.”

A blatant lie. But thankfully, she didn’t press me further. That somehow made me feel even more guilty.

“I feel kind of bad, honestly.”

“…Pardon?”

“<Contradiction> is like the museum’s star attraction. Taking it away… it makes me feel guilty.”

Most visitors probably came just to see the silver shield. I glanced at her for a reaction, but she waved her hand with a kind smile.

“Don’t worry. We were only holding onto it for a while anyway.”

I assumed it was just a polite gesture. But when I saw her gaze linger on the shield in my arms—like a grandparent saying goodbye to their grandchild returning home at the end of summer vacation—I changed my mind. No, I even felt a pang of guilt.

“Please, use it for something good.”

Something good… If breaking this thing is the only way for us to survive, then maybe that’s what she meant.

After bringing <Contradiction> back to the Ark, I studied it closely. But it was no different from any other spiritual relic. I’d expected something explosive to happen when it touched my cursed self… but nothing. The only reaction I felt was its quiet resonance, acknowledging me as its rightful owner.

“Maybe I’ll just break it.”

Spiritual relics aren’t easily destroyed, especially something like <Contradiction>, a shield said to block everything. Damaging it would be nearly impossible. But if anything could do it, maybe it was <Bloodletting Sword>, a weapon more powerful than the shield itself.

As I stared at my unharmed palm with the dagger in hand, Mujeong spoke up beside me.

“If it is just going to shatter and remain in pieces anyway, will that not make things more difficult?”

“Hmm. You have a point.”

So I’d have to wait for an S-rank rift strong enough to swallow <Contradiction>. It was maddening knowing the monster that devoured my mom and aunt was right in front of me, and I couldn’t do a thing about it.

“I’m going insane with frustration.”

I gripped the dagger and struck the shield with all my strength.

Clang—!

The sound of metal clashing rang out, and the dagger’s blade snapped in two. The silver shield, on the other hand, didn’t even have a scratch. It felt like it was mocking me.

“…I feel like I need to do something. Even if it won’t actually help.”

As I stared down at the shattered blade, Mujeong gently placed a hand on my shoulder.

“There is still something you have not tried.”

“What? What is it?”

“It seems as though you have forgotten already.”

When I turned to look, his eyes glowed red like cornelian berries.

“In heaven, you saw something when you met your younger self, remember?”

Before he even finished speaking, the image came rushing back. The moment I faced my childhood self in that heavenly place, I saw a familiar string of words. My ability had activated on its own, just as it always did whenever a certain condition was met.

“I did see it. But I don’t know what it means. Maybe it just appeared without reason.”

“Master. In this world, nothing appears without reason.”

“But still—”

“Even so, did you not say that?”

Mujeong looked me dead in the eyes, his hand firm on my shoulder.

“That you wanted to do something.”

…He was right. There wasn’t much time left. I couldn’t afford to hesitate anymore.

There must be a reason those eyes showed me a new awakening condition. Unlike other powers, mine had no rank, but it had always shown me the path forward. Without it, I wouldn’t have made Sang a hunter, wouldn’t have given a demon the name “Michael,” wouldn’t have discovered a page of <Divine Comedy> in <Blue Hope>.

“Believe in yourself, Master. If you do not, who else will?”

“You know how to say things like that now?”

“It is all thanks to someone.”

“…Good boy.”

Let’s give it a try. Things couldn’t get any worse, so I had nothing to lose.

****

That night, I was lying in bed first when Sang came into the room. I was facing the wall, and maybe he thought I was already asleep, because his steps were extra quiet, like a cat sneaking in. He gently pulled back the blanket and lay down beside me, which made me chuckle unintentionally. Suppressing a laugh, I turned to look at him.

Startled, Sang frowned.

“Sorry, did I wake you?”

“Nope. I wasn’t asleep.”

I gestured for him to lie down properly. He obediently got under the covers.

“How’s <Contradiction>?”

“Nothing much has changed. Oh, I did break a dagger on it earlier. You’ll have to get me a new one.”

“What? Why?”

“I got pissed and struck it with the blade. For the record, I’m fine.”

I held out my hands to show I was unharmed. Sang sighed.

“You’re seriously…”

“What?”

“…Nothing.”

Then, without warning, he hugged me around the waist and buried his face against my arm, eyes tightly shut.

“Sleepy?”

“No. But if I don’t sleep, you’ll get mad.”

With that serious face of his, it was ridiculous hearing something so childlike. I almost burst out laughing again. I thought of just letting him sleep, but this wasn’t something I could keep putting off.

“Sang-ah.”

As I turned to face the window and called his name softly, he pressed his forehead to my back in silence. That warm, comforting stillness. I was afraid to shatter it, but staring out at the churning sea, I spoke.

“There’s something I haven’t told you.”

“…What?”

“It wasn’t on purpose. I just forgot. Jeong-ee reminded me.”

His arms tightened around my waist. Of course, he’d be angry that I was still hiding things. But this time…

“That guy knew?”

“Hm? Yeah.”

So that’s what he was upset about.

“…Why does he know?”

“He’s always around. It’s impossible to hide anything from him.”

Suddenly, the blanket was yanked off me. Before I could react, I was flipped over and found myself staring up at his face, his arms caging me in. His twisted expression and bitten lips told me I’d said the wrong thing.

“I mean, that’s not what matters now—”

“It matters to me.”

Was he angry? …No. He looked… scared, like he was afraid of losing something important. That vulnerable look on his face made me smile. Sang-ah, Mujeong was never your competition… You just haven’t realized it. You’re the only one I see, the only one in my head.

I tapped his arm and spoke casually.

“I’m cold.”

His face twisted even more.

“Stop changing the subject.”

“No, seriously. I’m cold.”

“..…”

“Are you gonna let me catch a cold?”

I stared at him until he finally pressed his lips shut and gently pulled the blanket over me. But instead of lying close as usual, he rolled over to the far edge of the bed.

“….What are you doing?”

“What?”

“You’re really bad at taking hints, you know.”

When he turned back, clearly confused, I shamelessly spread my arms.

“I’m cold, Sang-ah.”

For a moment, his black eyes trembled. Sang stared at me in a daze, then suddenly turned and pulled me into a tight embrace. With my face pressed against his chest, I could clearly hear the rapid thump of his heart. I nuzzled my nose against the thin fabric of his T-shirt, and his whole body flinched as he murmured.

“It’s not that I’m bad at taking hints, I just… I was thinking about that time.”

“Hm? Thinking about what time?”

“…Forget it, you probably don’t remember.”

“No, come on, what is it?”

I lifted my face slightly, and Sang quickly pushed my head back down, tucking me into his arms.

“Tell me. What was it?”

“Back then, you said you were cold and you climbed under my blanket.”

“…I did?”

“Then you suddenly said my body was too cold and you pulled away.”

Ah. I remember now. I’d needed to activate my ability without him knowing. But I couldn’t believe he still remembered that.

“Wow. You’ve got a great memory.”

“I remember everything when it comes to you.”

“My ability, too?”

“Yes, you can see people’s awakening conditions.”

He answered like a toaster spitting out a slice the second you hit the button. I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Right. And you know it works on people, too, right? ….I saw yours when we were kids.”

“What was my condition?”

“…To be separated from someone important.”

The air between us grew heavy.

“So… that’s why you left me?”

“Well, that was part of it. You said you wanted to become a hunter, remember?”

His arms around my waist and shoulders tightened even more.

“…If you’d just stayed with me, I wouldn’t have needed any of this.”

“Seriously? Even though you’re an S-class hunter now?”

“I didn’t care about that. I just wanted to be someone you could lean on. Back then, I had nothing.”

How do I even begin to describe this feeling? “Happy” doesn’t begin to cover it. It’s a love that feels too immense for me.

“You did well, Sang-ah.”

“…Don’t treat me like a kid.”

“You’re right. What kind of kid is this big, anyway?”

I laughed heartily, and Sang let out a deep sigh that shook his whole body.

“So… what is it you haven’t told me yet?”

“In heaven… I met my younger self, and my ability activated.”

“What do you mean it ‘activated’? You’re already awakened.”

“Exactly. That’s why it was weird…”

Until now, looking into a mirror never triggered anything. I guess that made sense; my power required contact with a separate, real person. Theoretically, it can’t be used on oneself.

But I met my past self.

[Activating ‘Pioneer of the Unknown().’]

[Would you like to view the conditions of □□s‘Hajae Shin’□?]

Maybe because it broke all logic and theory, the message that appeared looked different from usual.

“The text was all glitched out. I couldn’t understand any of it… But, I clearly saw the condition.”

“What was it?”

I swallowed dryly and spoke in a whisper.

“To be killed.”

****

Publicly, my mother’s cause of death was reported as sudden cardiac arrest. So, the curse wouldn’t work in fulfilling the condition. I only get one chance. That means I must be killed by someone else. It has to be a certain death, without any ambiguity.

“I know it’s an absurd condition.”

I’ve been through all kinds of things, standing at death’s doorstep far more often than the average person. And yet, I’m still alive. What could possibly break this cursed fate and set me free? I couldn’t think of a single strategy right now, let alone a clever one.

“Still, I’m going to try.”

“What… are you even saying?”

“I’ll try every possible way. I didn’t want to ask you, so I started by asking Jeong-ee first…”

Before I could even finish, Sang grabbed me by the shoulders and forcefully pulled me away. Just a moment ago, his eyes had been drowsy and half-lidded, but now they were bloodshot, as if the vessels had burst. His lips trembled, like he’d swallowed back his words dozens of times, and after a long silence, he finally exhaled a shaky sigh.

“Are you insane?”

“Sorry, but I’m dead serious.”

“Hyung… please…”

“I don’t even know if dying will really lift the curse, but I want to take the gamble. I have to try something.”

Sang scowled and shook his head the entire time I spoke, as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“Then what about you?”

“What do you mean?”

“What about all the pain you’ll go through trying every method?”

“It’ll hurt. But… I don’t have a choice.”

The more I smiled, the deeper the furrow in his brow became. His eyes darted around, unable to meet mine, revealing his inner turmoil. Finally, Sang clutched his head and shot to his feet.

“Thanks for being honest. But… I can’t do this.”

“Wait.”

I stood up quickly and grabbed his arm, but instead, it was I who got dragged along.

“Could you just stand by and watch if I tried something like that?”

“No. I’d stop you.”

When I answered firmly, the corners of his lips twitched in frustration.

“Then why are you doing this to me?”

“Because I know you’ll do it anyway.”

“…What?”

“If it meant saving me, you wouldn’t care how much pain you were in.”

His eyes trembled like a candle flickering in the wind.

“I’m the same.”

I stepped closer and placed a hand on his cheek.

“You said we’d try to find a way to live together. Then we have to try everything we can. We have less than two months left now. If we wait until it’s too late, we’ll only regret it. We need to consider what happens if we can’t eliminate <Contradiction>.”

“But…”

“The risk is high. But it’s worth trying. There has to be a reason we saw those conditions in heaven.”

I want to believe that everything happens for a reason.

After some hesitation, Sang gently removed my hand from his face.

“Just… give me a little time to think.”

I couldn’t bring myself to stop him as he walked out of the room.

I thought that would be the start of another cold war between us. But surprisingly, Sang acted like nothing had changed. We still had breakfast together. We still looked up news about the spirits. But he never brought up that conversation again. Whenever I tried to continue the topic I’d left unfinished, he would excuse himself and leave.

A week passed like that, and my mind only grew more tangled.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything.”

I wanted to keep the promise not to lie. But now I regret it. Maybe I should’ve just tried it alone. Either way, I always end up hurting him.

“So are you giving up on that method, Master?”

“No. I can’t.”

I still think it’s a decent way to twist fate. Even if the curse doesn’t break, dying before the appointed day would feel like a win. Like saying, ‘Your curse doesn’t work on me. I won’t live the life you decided.’ I wanted to spit in the face of fate and <Contradiction>…

“Having to die in order to live sounds absurd.”

I let my whole body relax and leaned back against the sofa, tilting my head. Staring blankly at the ceiling, I slowly closed my eyes. A cold sensation crept in, like winter wind seeping through my collar, sending a chill down my spine.

When I opened my eyes, Mujeong was looking down at me, his hand around my neck.

“Shall I take your life as you desire, Master?”

His sharp gaze curved seductively, like a cunning fox. As I just stared up at him, his grip on my throat tightened. My weak pulse throbbed beneath his calloused fingers.

“If it is you, I will gladly help.”

On any other day, I’d laugh it off as a bad joke, but right now it sounded like the sweetest offer.

“Then do it.”

“…What?”

“Go ahead.”

As he tried to pull away, I grabbed his hand and pressed it firmly back against my throat. As I added pressure with my own hand, my pulse raced. His face showed clear alarm. Did he think I was just joking?

“Wait, Master.”

“Don’t… let go.”

My whole body tensed. With my airway narrowing, I gasped for breath, lips parted. Gulping down air, I lifted my chin and saw his face inches from mine. Why does he look at someone about to die like that, like he’s in pain?

“My Master…”

His hair, black as ebony, brushed against my cheek. My vision blurred under a black veil. Or was my consciousness fading? Strange sounds escaped my mouth, and tears welled in my eyes. But instead of fear, a deep calm settled in.

Yet instinct reacted differently. Lacking air, I clawed at his hand. Still, Mujeong only tightened his grip. No matter how I struggled, his brute strength pinned me in place.

Then suddenly…

Thud—!

The hand strangling me was torn away, and air rushed back into my lungs. I doubled over, covering my mouth and coughing violently.

Behind the harsh coughing, a low voice cut through.

“What are you doing?”

Lifting my head with effort, I saw a familiar back. Sang had grabbed Mujeong by the collar. I hadn’t even heard him enter. Even from behind, I could feel the seething anger. But Mujeong only smiled, unfazed.

“His delicate neck was too tempting to resist.”

“You’ve really lost your mind.”

Sang’s voice grated like gnashing teeth.

Why say it like that when the truth would do? I was the only one who could de-escalate the situation, but this damned coughing wouldn’t stop. I managed to grab Sang’s sleeve, and his angry gaze turned toward me.

“…Sang-ah.”

I called his name with a voice that had gone hoarse, and his black eyes calmed instantly.

“Are you okay, hyung?”

I nodded quickly. Sang tossed Mujeong aside like trash and knelt in front of me. As he gently patted my back, my breath slowly steadied. Only after regaining some composure did I speak.

“Don’t be too hard on Jeong-ee.”

“…You’re still defending that bastard?”

“That’s not it. I asked him to do it.”

His hand froze mid-pat.

“I’m sorry… I scared you, didn’t I?”

He seemed too shocked to speak, his face stiff. I turned to Mujeong, now straightening his clothes.

“I apologise to you, too. For forcing you to do that.”

“Do not apologize. When else would I get the chance to place my hand upon your neck, Master?”

“Hah…”

As if I could really die from something like that. My awkward laughter faded into heavy silence. How should I break this uncomfortable tension? I rubbed my face and leaned back into the sofa when Sang suddenly spoke.

“Then I’ll do it.”

I blinked, doubting my ears.

“You’ll… kill me?”

“I can. With my ability.”

His ability… Right. As an S-rank hunter, his power is overwhelming. In any game, only the victor survives — the loser dies on the spot. Theoretically, he could kill me. But realistically?

“You’ve never beaten me.”

“Technically, we always tied. It ended in a stalemate every time.”

“A tie isn’t good enough. You have to win.”

“I will. I’ll make sure I do.”

His certainty felt like poison.

“You’re already busy with the spirits and the rifts. I don’t want to add more to your burden.”

“I don’t see it as a burden.”

“If you still can’t kill me by the final day, then…”

That would leave yet another weight of guilt. And that wasn’t even the only problem.

“If you do kill me, and that still isn’t the key to twisting fate — that’s just another failure.”

“But you said there must’ve been a reason we saw those conditions in heaven.”

“That was…!”

I clutched my throbbing head and lowered it.

“I only said that when I could take full responsibility for failing.”

I’ve thought this before. We’re like <Contradiction> itself.

An unstoppable spear that pierces everything, and an immovable shield that blocks all. A power that can kill someone, and a body that cannot die until the appointed day. Maybe that’s why, just like in the old legends, our battles have always ended in a draw, with neither of us able to claim victory.

But it’s different in <Contradiction>’s rift. There, there was always a clear winner and loser.

The one who wants to live more wins through betrayal, and the one who loves more loses through sacrifice. Maybe… we’re being pulled toward a story just like that. If you couldn’t kill me, in the end, I will…

“Hyung.”

A calm voice pulled me out of that deep, dark pit.

“You said you’d trust me.”

It cuts through the endless threads of spiraling thoughts.

“I do. I trust you, but…”

“Then choose me as the tool that ends your life, not some sword.”

His eyes, full of unwavering conviction, left no room for objection. And yet, in a quiet corner of my heart, unease continued to grow.

****

Every morning. And every night. 

Sang sat across from me and played chess without fail. But he was the only one moving the pieces. The chessboard, the black-and-white pieces… none of it is visible to me. He closed his eyes, and his opponent was me, or more precisely, the curse inside me.

His beautiful hand glided smoothly through the air, moving pieces for one sole purpose: to kill me.

I once thought I’d like to watch him use his power more leisurely, but I never imagined I’d see it this often. A few days ago, we played for over three hours straight. I wondered if it was okay, but of course, it was too much for him. Sang collapsed that night and was unconscious for the rest of the day.

“I was just a little tired,” he excused as soon as he regained consciousness. 

But Raphael, who was watching over him, shook his head quietly. Even an S‑rank Hunter finds it exhausting to use their ability continuously for three hours. From that day on, our games had been limited to two hours a day, split between morning and evening.

“That’s enough.”

He rose after exactly an hour and reluctantly opened his eyes.

“You’re finished already?”

“Yeah.”

“One more game.”

“No. I’m hungry.”

He, who had ignored my pleas to stop, yielded instantly at the mention of hunger and got up. Heading down to the dining room, I found a warm meal waiting as usual. At first, sitting together felt awkward, but now chatting over trivial things during meals had become routine.

“This steamed egg is a bit salty.”

“I’ll let them know.”

I started muttering to myself.

“Anyway, I’m going out tonight.”

Clink—!

The sound of cutlery stopped abruptly. Feeling a gaze, I looked up and saw Sang staring at me intently, his expression subtly sour. What now?

“Why?”

“I have something to take care of.”

“Who with?”

“Well… I haven’t decided who will accompany me yet.”

“I’ll go with you.”

“You don’t like crowds.”

“I’d rather you go with me than anyone else.”

I don’t know why, but that indifferent tone made me smile.

“You said not to treat you like a kid…”

“Huh?”

“Nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

I shook my head and grabbed a side dish from the table. Sang glanced at me suspiciously, yet gently pushed the bowl closer.

“How far are you going?”

“To Yeouido.”

“What’s there to see?”

“There’s a department store. A huge one.”

“What are you planning to buy?”

“I have a few ideas…”

It was my first time buying gifts for a whole group, so honestly, I was a bit overwhelmed. I couldn’t just ask them what they liked; I wanted it to be a surprise. I thought carefully, then put my chopsticks down and spoke in a soft tone.

“Is there anything Raphael wants?”

Upon mentioning Raphael, Sang’s neat eyebrows twitched. But since he always did that, I didn’t think much of it.

“Maybe some jewelry?”

Who doesn’t like jewelry? But I felt like Raphael probably already had every kind. As I tapped the table and muttered to myself, Sang responded with a displeased expression.

“Jewelry…. for Raphael?”

He looked annoyed.

“Is it his birthday?”

“What are you saying? We just had seaweed soup together a few months back for his birthday.”

“Then why are you buying him a gift?”

“Are you… serious?”

I couldn’t suppress my nervous laugh.

“Today is Christmas Eve.”

“…Ah.”

He sighed belatedly. Yes. Today was the much-awaited Christmas Eve. Last year, I didn’t care; I was too busy working, but I couldn’t ignore it this year. It was our first holiday together, and… it might be our last.

“So, I want to give gifts to people who’ve helped me.”

When I said I’d go out, his brow had furrowed, but with that, he relaxed a bit.

“Raphael will like anything… if it’s from you.”

“That’s a relief.”

“What about the others?”

“I’m thinking of black tea for Justino. I recently saw a really nice one for sale. For Matteo, maybe a winter jumper… since he starts university next year. Ah, and for Yulia, I was thinking some gloves. I noticed the ones she has are a bit small for her.”

Sang, who’d had been listening quietly, suddenly spoke up.

“Why were you looking at that?”

“I just happened to notice when we were sparring.”

“If you’re sparring, you should focus on sparring…”

“Right… yeah.”

Sang sighed as I nodded. He clearly didn’t like my reasoning, but he let it go. Using my fork, I picked up one of the strawberries that were served for dessert and quickly changed the subject.

“Is there anything you want?”

“…There is.”

“Oh? Good! Tell me. Hyung will get it for you.”

Of course, he was much wealthier than me but he was still too young, so this is when I got to act like the older brother. When I smiled proudly, Sang stared at me and spoke bluntly.

“You, hyung.”

What? I froze mid-forkful. I don’t know how he could say that with no change in expression. And when I didn’t react, his brows furrowed in frustration.

“Is that a no?”

“You think I’d say yes?”

I scoffed. He shrugged.

“Then I don’t want anything.”

“Don’t say that. Think about it until midnight.”

“I said I don’t want anything.”

“Then you’ll be the only one empty-handed this Christmas.”

I propped my chin up and smirked, and his brows twitched in response.

“Thanks for considering my wallet.”

I gave a thumbs-up intentionally, and he scowled. Maybe if I’m annoyingly insistent enough, he’ll pick something. I finished the last strawberry and got up, and Mujeong suddenly appeared, blocking my path.

“Master, I have a request.”

“Yeah? What is it?”

He jokingly acted serious.

“Grant me a day alone, just the two of us.”

His mischievous smile was evident. 

Bang—!

Sure enough, that was when Sang slammed his hand on the table. I turned, startled, and saw his dark eyes blazing.

“I’m going, too. Hyung.”

“Ah… okay.”

Will I ever see them get along? Probably not. 

We didn’t leave for the city until late, Sang’s schedule pushed us past evening. It was so crowded that his handsome face turned completely sour from the moment we stepped out of the Ark. Feeling guilty, I tested the waters.

“Want to head back first? I can look around alone.”

“No… we can’t end our date so soon.”

“What? Is this a date?”

He sighed and walked into the department store ahead. I thought he’d stay silent, but he gave steady input as we shopped, like, ‘This tea is more premium.’ ‘I prefer this scent’—small details that made me think how cute he was.

“Let’s go window‑shopping over there.”

We entered a clothing store for Matteo’s jumper. It was a brand-name I’d never tried before, but when else would I splurge like this? After choosing a jumper, I felt drawn to a long coat at the front. It would suit Sang, I thought.

“Try this on.”

I handed him a black knee‑length coat. He looked nonchalant.

“Matteo wouldn’t like this style.”

“You, try it. You.”

“…Why?”

“Because I want to see you in it.”

He silently took off his clothes and put on the coat. His broad shoulders and long legs carried it well. 

“Oh.” 

I murmured, and then the store clerk chimed in.

“Wow, it suits you so well! That length is tricky for some, but it looks perfect on you. And it’s a classic style, so you could  wear it for years.”

Knowing I was the buyer, the clerk explained the coat to me further. Indeed… I decided to buy it. I pulled out my wallet, but Sang had already offered his card to the clerk. I quickly took it, speaking sternly.

“Hey, no giving your card without warning! I’m paying.”

I pocketed his card and gave mine to the clerk.

“Just on card, please.”

“Sure. Would you like to pay via installments?”

I almost said ‘yes’ out of habit, then froze. If I die before paying it off, would the debt remain? Would someone take it from my savings? My curiosity lingered.

“…A one‑time payment is fine.”

After paying for that and Matteo’s jumper as well, my hands were full of shopping bags. Sang took each bag, leaving my hands empty. When I tried to grab a bag, he withdrew his hand.

“It’s not too heavy? I can carry it.”

“What do you take me for?”

“An over‑protective younger brother.”

“…I won’t dignify that with a response.”

We stepped out of the store, and Christmas was in full swing outside. Carols were playing everywhere, and small lights were twinkling on the street trees. I felt sentimental for some reason, so I let out a small sigh, and my breath dispersed into a haze.

“It’s nice that you came out with me.”

As I got closer to death, I thought that my daily life would disappear as I struggled to find a way to live. But instead, I found myself seeking out routine things. Days that passed by without a problem, sitting down to eat, walking down the street… I became more and more attached to those ordinary days.

“I didn’t know the Christmas streets could be this beautiful.”

Maybe because it’s a day that may never come again. Since I can’t put it off any longer, I’m expressing my gratitude to the people I’ve been thankful for, and organizing my surroundings little by little. Some people might call it preparing for the end.

“We’ll have to spend it together next year, too.”

Strangely enough, the more he said that…

“…Yeah. Next year, too.”

…the more I wanted to live.

****

I wonder if it’ll snow tomorrow. The wind felt exceptionally cold today.

“Let’s just buy the cake and head home.”

As we walked toward the bakery I’d found, Sang lifted a shopping bag and spoke.

“So, this coat was my gift?”

“I ended up just buying it since it looked so good on you, but if you want anything else, just let me know.”

He still hadn’t picked something and kept shaking his head. Since I didn’t want to let Christmas slip by, I hoped he’d ask before midnight. I checked my watch, and it was already 8 p.m.

“You’ve still got four hours left?”

I nudged his arm playfully and winked, and despite the chill, a faint smile appeared on his face.

“Ah, right. What kind of cake should we get?”

“Strawberry cake.”

“You like strawberries?”

“Not really. But you seemed to be enjoying them earlier.”

Earlier meant at breakfast; I’d only eaten it because it was offered. Still, I appreciated his thoughtfulness… but, from the coat to the cake… didn’t it seem like all my preferences?

“You’re really all about me, aren’t you?”

“Heh, I guess I am.”

He admitted it casually, no denial, making me laugh more than feel embarrassed.

This gentle person was the same guy who once looked for my weakness like a venomous snake. When I first met Simeon, I thought Sang’s old self was gone, but seeing him now, he was still the same kid I knew.

A person who only looks at me to the point I feel sorry, a fool who worries when I’m not there beside him.

“What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing.”

I quickly waved my hand and looked around. When I looked at the map earlier, it said to go into the alley between the convenience stores. It was so dark without a single streetlight that I doubted if this was the right way, but we pressed on.

“The popular bakery down this alley…”

Right then, I heard a really odd sound from the alley. One that sounded really… suspicious. As expected, as we went deeper into the alley, we saw a couple making out in front of a building wall.

“…Crazy.”

I knew that couples would do all sorts of things here and there on Christmas Eve, but this was just too much. I even heard the man muttering, ‘No one’s coming’, they can’t see us anyway.’

Sorry, but I can see everything. I can see you far too well.

“Let’s go back that way.”

I laughed awkwardly, and the two of us slipped out of the alley. Luckily, the next alley was empty with no weird sounds. We turned the corner toward the bakery when suddenly Sang stopped abruptly.

“I’ve thought of what I want.”

“Oh? What is it?”

He strode toward me, then lowered his head to look at me and quietly spoke.

“Kiss me.”

……

….

….

“Wait, what?”

My mind went blank. I blinked at him, dumbfounded, but he just tilted his head like nothing was wrong. Did I mishear? His calm face made it sound normal.

“What did you just say? Just now.”

“Ki—”

Just before I confirmed that there was nothing wrong with my ears, I felt a presence in the alley behind me. I quickly turned around and saw a couple holding hands with a child approaching us. I smiled exaggeratedly without realizing it and gestured at them with my eyes as if to show off to Sang.

“Oh, look, people! Haha, someone’s coming.”

Sang, who’d been standing in front of me, finally clicked its tongue and stepped back. We headed to the bakery, picked up a cake, and returned to the ark. Fortunately or unfortunately, I never heard that word again. 

The next morning was finally Christmas. Sang was already awake when I opened my eyes.

“We’re doing it again today?”

“Of course.”

Does using his ability first thing in the morning not exhaust him? Begrudgingly, I washed up and then sat down in front of him. With eyes closed, he began his solo chess game again. An hour passed by. Although some may have considered it boring, for me, watching his smooth hand movements and focused face made time fly.

But something was off today; he seemed to be frowning constantly. I wanted everything to start joyfully on Christmas morning, and I knew one thing that would cheer him up.

After some thought, I quietly approached him and placed a kiss on his forehead. What on earth is this? My heart was pounding as if it was going to burst, and my hands were covered in cold sweat. For some reason, I couldn’t look at his face, so I looked to the side and sat back down on the bed.

And then…

“…What was that?”

Sang’s eyes were open, and he was staring at me, stunned.

“Ha, I dunno… what was it?”

I awkwardly smiled and tried to get up, but he grabbed my arm urgently.

“Was that… because of yesterday?”

“I guess so.”

“That wasn’t a kiss, though.”

“Well… my lips touched you, so isn’t it kind of like one?”

I knew it was a flimsy excuse; his incredulous look said it all. When I tried to pull away, Sang showed no signs of backing down. I awkwardly stood beside the bed, with my gaze downcast and cheeks burning, and I muttered.

“I’ve never done anything like this, even at my age.”

“…Really?”

His voice sounded strangely excited, and he was grinning like a kid.

Seeing him genuinely happy made my heart tighten like someone was squeezing it. Afraid of overdoing it, I ran a hand through his hair.

“Yeah. Don’t expect too much from someone who’s been single since birth.”

When I tried to step away from his grip, he tugged me down onto the bed.

“Do it again.”

“Do what?”

“What you did just now.”

“I only get brave when the other person’s off guard and has their eyes closed.”

“Then I’ll keep them closed.”

He closed his eyes again. I carefully removed his hand from my arm and said firmly:

“I used up all my courage for today.”

He narrowed his eyes and looked at me in disbelief, but no new courage appeared. Instead, I regretted daring to act at all. Quietly shaking off the lingering awkwardness, I got up.

“Come on, we’ll be late for mass.”

Bundled up in coats, we headed to Jeongdong Cathedral. It was Christmas, after all. While the evening mass was grand, we both wanted to avoid crowds, so we chose to attend the morning service.

“It’s still crowded, though.”

We sat in a corner and quietly attended mass. I recognized a few familiar faces, but we exited as if we didn’t know them. Standing outside in the cold wind, gazing at the tall steeple, Sang spoke quietly.

“Are you sure you don’t want to greet them?”

“Yeah… They’ve buried me in their hearts already.”

Even if I suddenly appeared as Johan, with a different face and voice, it’d only confuse them. In that case, it would be better to remain as the Johan in their memories. After all, the person I cared about the most was already beside me.

“Let’s go. I promised Raphael I’d help cook.”

“Me, too… I want to help.”

“You already have plans until this evening. I heard it from the staff yesterday.”

His disappointed expression reminded me of something.

“Ah, that’s right. Sang-ah.”

I lightly grabbed his collar, and he stopped in his tracks. He paused and slightly bent his waist so he could lean closer to hear me. I whispered softly into his ear, which had turned a light pink in the cold wind.

“Merry Christmas.”

I’ll never forget his gentle smile at that moment.

****

Party prep went smoothly. Unlike Raphael’s birthday, everyone helped out. Enoch even brought a tree he’d grown himself. I couldn’t help laughing as Matteo and Yulia earnestly debated the decorations like we were in a tactical meeting.

Maybe that’s why time flew by. Soon evening came, and Sang returned to the Ark. While Raphael was setting the table, I went to fetch the gifts. It was then that Mujeong appeared in front of me.

“You seem happy.”

“It’s been a long while since I felt this way.”

It almost felt like a repeat of Sang’s birthday as I started picking up the gifts. However, I’d gotten better at tying bows since then. Carrying multiple shopping bags, I paused at the door and looked at Mujeong.

“Don’t you want anything?”

“It would be needless as I cannot touch worldly things, Master.”

“Still…”

I wished I could give him something too; he’d done so much for me.

“It’s unfortunate.”

He shrugged and paused in the doorway.

Then, suddenly, a cough erupted from deep in my chest. It wasn’t just a regular cough; it was an onslaught, as though my childhood asthma had never left. I set down the bags, leaned against the wall, and continued violently coughing. Mujeong patted my back.

“Are you alright, Master?”

I struggled to answer as each breath felt like fire in my chest. And then I felt an inferno erupt in my body, followed by a surge of liquid.

*Cough, cough—!*

I instinctively covered my mouth, and warm liquid soaked my palm.

I breathed heavily and opened my hand to see that it was covered in bright red blood. 

“Master…”

Mujeong’s voice was laced with unexpected shock. I wiped my lips harshly with the back of my hand and slowly shook my head.

“…I’m fine.”

“You must call the doctor immediately.”

“It’s okay. It’s nothing. I used to get this a lot when I was younger.”

“What do you mean when you say ‘when you were younger’?”

I’d suffered from severe asthma as a child, to the point where I couldn’t exercise and had to sit out during gym class. It went away when the curse transferred from my mother. So, why now…

Right then, a knock sounded at the door.

“Hyung, are you in there?”

It was Sang. I dashed to the bathroom and called out to him.

“Just a sec, I’m in the bathroom!”

I splashed water on my face and looked in the mirror. I looked like a mess. There was blood on my cheeks and chin, and I looked like someone who was very sick. At least it hadn’t stained my clothes, I muttered to myself as I cleaned my face and hands silently.

“Don’t tell anyone.”

“Master, I think you should tell the Second Lord.”

“Later… later. Today is Christmas.”

Mujeong frowned but left without pushing me any further. After making sure my appearance was normal, I opened the door, and there stood Sang, his coat still on.

“I was just about to come down. What happened?”

“I found it.”

“Found what?”

“How to kill you, hyung.”

My eyes went wide at those unexpected words. He then handed me a piece of paper.

“<Mistilteinn>. The branch that killed a god.”