ETP Ch 36

It was then, as Seongyeon took a step.

“Teacher Seongyeon!”

Bokseung rose from his seat and grabbed Seongyeon’s wrist. His voice and actions were urgent, as if Seongyeon would disappear at any moment.

“Huh?”

“I, I still have something to say.”

“Oh, really?”

Seongyeon awkwardly sat back down.

Listening to children was his job, so there was no harm in doing it one last time.

Even after confirming Seongyeon was seated, Bokseung didn’t let go of his wrist. Bokseung parted his lips as if to speak, but then repeatedly rolled his large eyes, looking anxious.

Since the only place to return to was the afterlife, Seongyeon had plenty of time, so he calmly waited for Bokseung to speak.

After a few minutes of this standoff, Bokseung took a deep breath. It seemed he finally had the courage to speak.

“Teacher, you like me, right?”

“Huh?!”

Seongyeon was stunned by the sudden bluntness.

Staring blankly at Bokseung with his mouth agape, Seongyeon noticed the child’s face turning bright red and quickly tried to fix the situation.

“Uh, uh! I like you, but Bokseung. The, the way I like you is…”

“I know, not romantic feelings at all.”

“Th, that’s right! Not romantic feelings! Like an older brother, or no, brother is too much, isn’t it? Then… okay! Like an uncle, or a parental feeling. Uh, you know? Like that.”

Seongyeon gestured wildly, appealing his innocence, emphasizing that he absolutely never had any such thoughts.

Whether or not Seongyeon’s efforts worked, Bokseung’s expression had returned to its usual clarity. Breathing a sigh of relief inwardly, Seongyeon carefully asked,

“But why are you suddenly saying this?”

After hearing Seongyeon’s words, Bokseung was silent again, seemingly lost in thought.

Wondering what he would say this time, Seongyeon clutched his fluttering heart and looked at Bokseung.

“I know it’s really shameless of me to say this.”

Bokseung finally spoke, avoiding Seongyeon’s gaze.

Cold sweat was seeping from Bokseung’s palm, which was gripping Seongyeon’s wrist.

“Shameless? Don’t think like that. What is it?”

“Live as Kim Bokseung in my place.”

Silence.

Seongyeon couldn’t say anything after hearing Bokseung’s words. He could only tilt his head.

Why was he facing Bokseung like this now?

Seongyeon thought it was because they were now on different paths, and he wanted to see Bokseung’s face one last time.

However, it seemed Bokseung was facing him for a different reason.

Normally, Seongyeon wouldn’t argue with the child, simply agreeing with whatever he said. But not now. Seongyeon was genuinely angry with Bokseung.

He hadn’t been this angry when he found out he died unjustly because of the child, or when he realized he was unwillingly trapped in the child’s body.

His vision went black. His heart pounded with rage.

“Kim Bokseung. Are you kidding me?”

A low, deep voice escaped Seongyeon’s lips. Bokseung flinched at his words, but didn’t release his grip on Seongyeon’s wrist.

Seongyeon glanced at his now damp wrist.

He gathered his momentarily softened resolve and continued. No matter how much he cherished Bokseung, this was something he couldn’t overlook.

“Yes, I do cherish and care for you. I want to listen to almost anything you say, and it’s true I’ve been soft on you.”

“…….”

“But, this is not okay.”

Seongyeon ruthlessly pulled his wrist free from Bokseung’s grasp.

“How can you say that so easily? Your life is so precious. What you just said is a great disrespect to not only yourself but also to me!”

“I didn’t say it easily!”

Bokseung also raised his voice, refusing to back down.

“There’s no way I could say something like this easily, I didn’t say it thoughtlessly.”

“Then why are you saying such cruel things? Don’t say that. You should be thinking about living well.”

“No, Teacher. It’s not like that.”

Bokseung grabbed Seongyeon’s wrist again, tightly.

He was gripping it with all his might, as if holding onto the only lifeline, his fingertips turning white.

“I’ve already given up on myself. If there’s anyone in the world who hates me the most, it’s me. I’m truly sick of myself!”

Bokseung’s eyes were bloodshot and red. The child’s enraged expression wasn’t the Bokseung that Seongyeon knew.

Bokseung, noticing Seongyeon’s momentary hesitation, tried to compose himself, but it was no use. Reflecting on his life while talking to Seongyeon, Bokseung only crumbled further.

Seongyeon stroked Bokseung’s pale cheek.

Why? Who made this fragile child this way? He lamented the time that couldn’t be reversed.

“But, you’re not like that, Teacher.”

Bokseung spoke, having closed his eyes for a moment at Seongyeon’s touch.

“You cherished and valued me even though I’m like this. That was my only salvation. That small connection, which was probably just a job for you, was the salvation I’d been waiting for for 18 years.”

Seongyeon couldn’t say anything to Bokseung’s heartfelt confession. His words were too heartbreaking.

The child already knew. That the small kindness Seongyeon had shown was just part of his job.

Nevertheless, Bokseung desperately longed for that small act of kindness his entire life. And it was that salvation that allowed him to breathe.

“…….”

Finally, large teardrops began to fall from Bokseung’s eyes.

Seeing his pitiful appearance, Seongyeon sighed deeply. Inwardly, of course. He didn’t want to show Bokseung any more negativity.

“Teacher, even if I go back, it’ll be the same as before. I’ve already abandoned Kim Bokseung myself.”

“Bokseung…!”

“I know it’s my fault that I was born an omega, that I’m this poor, that I’m this pathetic.”

Bokseung bowed his head and pleaded with Seongyeon. His hands were trembling.

“Please don’t give up on me, Teacher. Live with the same compassion, the same care you’ve shown me, even if it was just a little.”

“This isn’t something you can decide on your own.”

If he could, Seongyeon wanted to stay by Bokseung’s side and be his strength for the rest of his life. But he was frustrated because he couldn’t do anything without a physical body.

“I’ll… next time. If I’m given a chance in the next life, I’ll really live well then. I won’t ruin myself.”

“You can live well now too. Okay?”

“How can I live well? How can I live well after doing such a terrible thing to you, after making Lee Seongyeon disappear from the world? Teacher, it’s impossible.”

Bokseung calmly shook his head.

He looked like a completely different person compared to earlier when he had approached Seongyeon with a bright smile. He seemed to have resigned himself to everything, or perhaps relieved to have put down a heavy burden.

“Bokseung, think again. You’re really going to disappear from the world.”

Bokseung’s expression hardened at Seongyeon’s words.

And then, through his small lips, he uttered cold, harsh words.

“That’s what I want most.”

Seongyeon was momentarily speechless. He froze, taken aback by this unfamiliar side of Bokseung.

Seeing Seongyeon frozen, Bokseung continued without changing his expression.

“I kept telling you, didn’t I? That there wasn’t a single time I was happy to be born. I wasn’t just saying that.”

“Ha…”

Seongyeon couldn’t hold back a sigh.

Since when was Kim Bokseung so stubborn? The Bokseung who would smile brightly no matter what had long since disappeared.

Bokseung actually smiled, seeing Seongyeon’s troubled face.

“I really liked that about you, Teacher. How you got so upset and concerned about my problems, how you genuinely worried.”

“I really hate this about you.”

Seongyeon’s lips jutted out.

“I know you like me even though you say that.”

“And knowing that, you act like this?”

“I only do this in front of you, Teacher.”

Bokseung chuckled, his shoulders shaking. It was exhausting to react to the child’s ever-changing moods.

Seongyeon relaxed his shoulders and leaned back in his chair.

Watching him, Bokseung patted Seongyeon’s hand.

“Teacher, I’m sorry for stealing 33 years of Lee Seongyeon’s life. And I’m sorry for asking you this on top of that.”

Bokseung stood up and bowed deeply. And then he gave his final farewell.

“Thank you, Teacher.”

“Wait, wait a minute, Bokseung!”

Seongyeon quickly stood up and tried to grab Bokseung, but his feet were stuck to the floor.

Surrounded by people still repeating the same actions, Bokseung had disappeared without a trace. Seongyeon slapped his thighs and tried to move, but it was useless.

Tears streamed down Seongyeon’s face as he fidgeted in place.

“Sob. Damn it…! I’m so annoyed…! I’m so annoyed, Kim Bokseung!!”

It was saddening that a happy ending didn’t exist for either of them.