LCL 46

I don’t understand why he keeps bringing up these stories. Does he think we’re the same kind? But Moon Ji-woo and I aren’t that close, and today is the first time we’ve really talked properly.

There were no problems between me and Lim Dae-han to share love’s trials and hardships. We started dating because we liked each other, and after dating, we’ve had only minor bumps, smoothly overcome. People around us just accepted it as natural.

My friend Jung Ji-pil, and even Lim Dae-han’s friend Park Yeo-seon, casually ask about me too. Even though they’ve noticed our relationship, they didn’t ask until we told them first.

I mumbled, at a loss for words. Who would say in this situation that if you start with difficult and painful stories from the beginning, the other person might feel burdened?

I thought of someone who might say something unsympathetic like “Do I need to know?”, but I held my tongue. I was different from that person.

“Ah… that must have been hard.”

In the end, I gave an obvious response. I inhaled to prevent a sigh from escaping. I wonder if we can get along well.

Seeing him share stories like this, it seems he’s opened up to me. But why me…?

I felt a bit irresponsible. I was still too young and had lived a life without major incidents to sincerely comfort a new friend’s dark past, share their sorrow, and exchange emotions.

Am I actually lacking in empathy too?

But then again, it seems like I’m living too peaceful a life. The biggest trial I face is being jealous of a senior who likes Lim Dae-han.

They say it’s good to live peacefully, but if a big problem arises for us, will we be able to endure and overcome it well?

“I’m okay now. I don’t particularly like anyone, and I’ve made a friend too.”

Moon Ji-woo emphasized the word ‘friend’ with his eyes. He placed responsibility on me. I didn’t know the word ‘friend’ could carry such heavy meaning.

Can’t we just be normal friends? If the meaning of friendship was this grand, I would have avoided the situation.

“…”

I couldn’t answer. Instead, I focused on the musician who was in the middle of busking, shaking one leg. The vocalist strained his neck veins as the notes got higher.

Listening uncomfortably to the song sung with such effort, as if sitting on a thorny cushion, I put the straw in my mouth. The strawberry latte is sucked up. It’s sweet but… just sweet.

♬♩–!!

A familiar ringtone sounded. I took my phone out of my pocket and checked the caller. Of course, it was Lim Dae-han.

Unable to answer the call, I looked at Moon Ji-woo while holding the phone. The education had been effective. Rather than being called ill-mannered, I waited for Moon Ji-woo’s permission.

Moon Ji-woo looked at the name on the screen and pulled his chin in. Only after getting permission could I answer the call.

“Yeah, Lim Dae-han…”

The weak voice coming out was my usual one. The tone that made Ki Young-han say why is this kid whining so much. Lim Dae-han on the other end of the phone continued speaking calmly.

-I just finished. When are you planning to go home?

I like his calmness and straightforwardness. I don’t have to get excited. Quickly, I wanted to rely on the comfort given by the long time together.

I probably can’t tell him everything that happened today from start to finish, but I missed Lim Dae-han so much. Even though we were only apart for a few hours.

“Oh, we’ve finished eating too. …What are you planning to do?”

-Do you think you’ll drink more? If so….

I hastily interrupted him.

“No. I’m just here… at Yunhwa Park.”

Ah-, he answered by stretching his voice, then proposed in a playful tone.

-Ask that hyung. If a cute junior can come.

“…”

What hyung. It turns out he’s not even older. But since I only found out a couple of hours ago that Moon Ji-woo was the same age as me, I didn’t have time to correct it.

First he said hyung, then he said he wasn’t. Lim Dae-han would surely find it strange. The cute little brother doesn’t need to come.

I just wanted to part ways quickly. It felt suffocating. I told Lim Dae-han “Just a moment,” then asked Moon Ji-woo.

“Um, are we… going to do anything else now?”

“Why?”

“Since we’ve eaten, I was thinking maybe we should part ways here. Uh, I think I need to go home.”

“But we haven’t finished talking yet?”

Until a few hours ago, I had the upper hand in my relationship with Moon Ji-woo. But now, now I admit it.

Moon Ji-woo had won. I was surprised by his reaction. What if he doesn’t let me go to Lim Dae-han?

I definitely got involved with the wrong person. I couldn’t predict his next move. As I stood still, unable to react while holding my phone, Moon Ji-woo smiled slightly.

“I’m joking. You can go.”

“Yeah… Thanks.”

After awkwardly replying, I focused on the call with Lim Dae-han. I deliberately held the phone with both hands.

“I’ll come. You stay in the parking lot.”

-Wouldn’t it be better if I come to pick you up?

“No, no. I’ll come.”

I felt like the two shouldn’t meet. Although I’m not particularly intuitive, anyway. For some reason, there was an ominous feeling.

As I answered hurriedly, Lim Dae-han finished the call without pressing further, saying he understood. After hanging up, I smiled awkwardly at Moon Ji-woo. He said something meaningful.

“Next time, I should drink a lot from the start. You leave right away when you get a call.”

Then Lim Dae-han would come to pick me up directly. Wherever I am, he would come to get me. It’s not just Lim Dae-han; I too would try to be there for him if he’s in a bad situation. It was trust built over a long time.

* * *

“Did you have fun?”

Lim Dae-han asked as soon as I got into the passenger seat.

“Yeah…”

I answered stupidly while fastening my seatbelt. I tried to shake off the uneasiness while coming to the parking lot, but it wasn’t easy. Because it wasn’t really that fun.

Have I ever had such an uncomfortable time in my life? Two beers and a meal, hmm. Of course, I’m grateful for the meal, but my heart felt heavy from the burdensome conversation earlier.

I wasn’t the type to place great significance on ‘friendship’. For me, friends were just people who were fun to hang out with. We bicker and take care of each other, but not to the point of taking on too much burden.

It felt a bit uncomfortable because Moon Ji-woo’s idea of friendship seemed different from mine. But I couldn’t tell this to Lim Dae-han.

To express my current feelings, I’d have to explain the whole situation, and then Lim Dae-han would surely worry about me. He might even try to take action himself.

“And he’s not hyung but a friend. Turns out he’s the same age as us. He entered school early.”

“Hmm.”

Lim Dae-han reacted nonchalantly. Well, it’s not someone we both know. It’s understandable that he’s not interested.

I tapped my thigh like playing the piano. The effects of alcohol had long worn off, and my mouth still had the sweet smell of the drink I had earlier.

I bit my lip and puffed my cheeks. Why isn’t he starting the car? When I glanced at Lim Dae-han, he was quietly looking at me. Did I say something wrong? Probably not…

“You even drank with a guy you didn’t know was older or the same age.”

“…”

“And you look upset.”

Lim Dae-han caressed my cheek with the back of his hand. Usually, he’s a slow bear, but he’s quick at times like this. I shook my head to deny it. Nothing happened.

Lim Dae-han stroked my cheek with his fingers and then turned back. As usual, he pressed the start button, but he didn’t look happy either.

“Ki Young-hyun.”

It was when the car was leaving the parking lot. Lim Dae-han called me. I had been resting my cheek on the seatbelt absentmindedly and only moved my eyes.

“…Yeah.”

I replied in a voice that seemed about to shrink away.

“You shouldn’t cheat.”

What cheating.

“That won’t happen.”

When I replied briefly, Lim Dae-han laughed shortly as if exhaling through his nose. I know it’s not funny at all.

* * *

I thought things would calm down as the semester was ending, but there was more to do than expected. It was time to start preparing for final exams, and before that, there was the big hurdle of individual project deadlines to overcome.

There was also a festival next week. Senior Seong-hong had asked for help with the pub, and it was awkward to miss department events as they mainly revolved around freshmen. Especially for someone like me who hangs out with classmates.

“This concludes our presentation.”

Today, we finished another assignment. It was the day of the group project presentation with Lim Dae-han. When the group member who gave the presentation bowed briefly, a steady applause broke out. Being a major class, there were many classmates, so we could easily get through the Q&A session.

Clap, clap, clap—the tension in my shoulders eased with the sound of clapping hands. How nervous I was, even though I wasn’t the one presenting. I’m glad it ended well.

I smiled brightly at Lim Dae-han sitting next to me. Lim Dae-han, who was leaning on the desk, looked at me a beat late. He too raised one corner of his mouth silently.

This was the first time Lim Dae-han and I sat together since entering university. Of course, we weren’t just sitting alone; two other group members were in front of us. On presentation day, it was convenient for group members to sit together.

I didn’t know much about our group members as we hadn’t been close before, but the more I got to know them, the better they seemed. Group projects didn’t seem to have only disadvantages. It became an opportunity to interact with new people.

“Good job.”

I patted the back of my classmate who returned to his seat. The classmate, a former student council president who had confidently said to trust him with speaking, had pale blue lips. It wasn’t difficult, but it seems enduring the barrage of questions was tough.

He said he always handled presentations since high school, so we let him do it, but it seems high school and university are quite different.

“Hah…”

The classmate sighed and dropped his head on the desk. The next group to present was busy preparing, rising from their seats. It was a moment to catch our breath. The classmate turned towards us and poured out his complaints.

“I thought I was going to die from nervousness. I never thought I’d be this nervous while presenting.”

“It didn’t show at all. You did really well.”

“Look at my script.”

The classmate held out his crumpled script. The edges were badly creased. Amidst this, there was a noticeable doodle.

He had written one of our classmate’s names and circled it. Among those who asked questions, this person had asked the most difficult one, and it was funny that he had written it down to remember.

As I laughed, the classmate finally seemed to relax and let out a heavy sigh. Actually, although it was a department we entered based on grades, Economics seems to suit me quite well. Compared to the Business Administration department, which has a lot of group projects, our department had fewer.

I wonder if presentations will get better as we move up in grades. Still, satisfied with the well-completed assignment, I looked around with a silent smile. Since the lights were turned off for the presentation, I could see students scattered about, slumped over their desks.

The professor was sitting at the end of the lecture hall, waiting for the next group to prepare their presentation. I glanced at the professor, then turned my head back. The phone on my desk was blinking.

I had set it to silent, but I must have forgotten about the brightness. I quickly lowered the brightness and checked the message.

Uh… it was Moon Ji-woo.

Moon Ji-woo: [What are you doing?]