NFS 2.6

“Aren’t you hungry?”

At Seo Ahn-jae’s sudden question, Joo Seung-ha quietly drew in a surprised breath. How long had he known I was awake? Only then did Joo Seung-ha slowly try to get up, belatedly noticing the IV line connected to his arm. After regaining consciousness, he realized this was Seo Ahn-jae’s house and immediately remembered having passed out on the floor of his villa earlier.

Then questions arose to the surface. What am I doing here? How did he know I collapsed? And why am I not in the hospital? As Joo Seung-ha sat up and tried to remove the IV needle, Seo Ahn-jae’s voice stopped him.

“Leave it.”

Joo Seung-ha looked up at him approaching the bed and pulled out the needle with a swift motion.

“I’m fine.”

He tried to stand up from the bed, but Seo Ahn-jae’s hand pressed his shoulder down.

“Rest more.”

However, despite the kind words, when his hand touched the shoulder, Joo Seung-ha involuntarily tensed up as he recalled being attacked at home. Seo Ahn-jae noticed his reaction.

“Are you okay?”

Yes, Joo Seung-ha muttered while pushing away Seo Ahn-jae’s arm that was still pressing his shoulder.

“I don’t need to rest.”

“The doctor said to rest.”

“You called a doctor to the house?” 

At his questioning look, Seo Ahn-jae sat on the bed and explained briefly, “You seemed to dislike hospitals when I saw you before.”

“It’s not that I dislike them, I just wasn’t sick then…More importantly, how did you bring me here?”

“I called again but you didn’t answer, so I went to your place. Do you remember how you collapsed?”

Do I ever. Joo Seung-ha frowned as he recalled the moment.

“Someone attacked me. The door was open. I should have been more cautious…

“I let my guard down.” Joo Seung-ha bit his lower lip in self-reproach. 

Watching him, Seo Ahn-jae informed him matter-of-factly, “I reported the perpetrator to the police.”

The perpetrator? When Joo Seung-ha immediately looked up, Seo Ahn-jae showed him a paper he’d photographed with his smartphone. According to him, it had been placed next to the collapsed Joo Seung-ha. The paper had this scrawled message: ‘Have 700 million won ready by next week for the debt your mother owes. Otherwise, we’ll take your organs.’

Joo Seung-ha stared blankly at the letters in the photo until the smartphone screen turned off. Actually, he hadn’t considered the situation to be this serious, so the direct threat brought more surprise than fear. Plus, what’s with this amount? 700 million? He would have remained shocked indefinitely if he hadn’t heard Seo Ahn-jae’s words.

“Amazing. An analog threat letter in this digital age.”

Joo Seung-ha looked at Seo Ahn-jae with blank eyes, unable to even think of laughing. Seo Ahn-jae looked at him and added nonchalantly, “It’s so inefficient. There’s email, SNS…”

“…Senior.”

“What?”

“You’re not trying to make me laugh, are you?”

Seo Ahn-jae’s eyes shifted sideways, as if unsure whether he had been trying to make him laugh.

“Well, not really.”

He looked somewhat embarrassed blurting that out, which made the shock Joo Seung-ha had received earlier disappear ridiculously easily. Belatedly realizing this might have been his awkward attempt at comfort, awkwardness also set in. Then suddenly, seeing the clock beside the bed, his mind cleared. 9:30 a.m. Huh?

“Was I here all night?”

“No. For three days.”

“What?” Joo Seung-ha’s eyes widened in shock. Seeing his expression, Seo Ahn-jae’s lips slowly curved upward. Only then did Joo Seung-ha realize he had made another joke.

“I collapsed yesterday evening, right? Today’s Saturday?”

“Yes.”

I just got hit and collapsed, so why couldn’t I wake up until the next morning? One thing was certain—it didn’t feel like sleep. Rather, it felt like time had been erased, like after receiving anesthesia.

“I’m in your debt. Thank you.”

Joo Seung-ha tried to get up again, but Seo Ahn-jae stopped him once more.

“Just stay.”

“I’m fine.”

“What’s fine?”

Seo Ahn-jae’s voice carried an angry force. Seemingly awkward with his own anger, he ran his hand through his hair and added calmly, “You can’t go home now.”

“Those people gave a week’s deadline, so it should be fine to go now. You reported it to the police…”

“It’s not because of those debt collectors. When I brought you here, your landlord came down and said something. Said they’d like you to move out as is.”

Joo Seung-ha looked at him again with blank eyes. Ah…the landlady. Given how she had trembled in fear when gangsters had ransacked his place before, it was perhaps natural that she wanted him out after this incident. Ah, then where should I go right now? No answers came to mind right then.

“Stay here for now.”

His offer came out rather brusquely. But if it had come out gentle and kind, Joo Seung-ha might have felt more miserable instead. Was it an exaggeration to say that he was being thoughtful and kind? Either way, it was an offer Joo Seung-ha couldn’t readily accept.

“I’m fine.”

The same words repeated from Joo Seung-ha’s mouth like a broken record. Even when Seo Ahn-jae looked at him disapprovingly, Joo Seung-ha coolly removed his hand and got down from the bed to stand on the floor. As Joo Seung-ha tried to leave, Seo Ahn-jae roughly stopped him.

“You don’t even have anywhere to go, do you?”

At Seo Ahn-jae’s sharp question, Joo Seung-ha couldn’t immediately lie. He really had nowhere else to go. At Joo Seung-ha’s silence, Seo Ahn-jae spoke lowly, his barely concealed anger coming to the surface.

“I’m helping you because it’s you, not out of pity. Don’t misunderstand. I’ll collect all the money I’m owed.”

“Still, I’m fine. I have somewhere to go.”

The lie came out smoothly this time. But a smirk crossed Seo Ahn-jae’s lips as he uncannily detected the lie.

“Be honest. Just say you just don’t want to stay with me.”

Even looking at his angry eyes, Joo Seung-ha only felt puzzled about why he was angry. Strangely, there were no other emotions. So this time he could answer without hesitation.

“No. I don’t dislike being with you, Senior. Really.”

“Then?”

Joo Seung-ha turned his gaze to the distance, hesitating momentarily about what to do next. And then he finally found the appropriate words to voice his thoughts.

“Because it’s over.”

There was no response. Still organizing his thoughts without looking up at him, Joo Seung-ha let his voice flow comfortably, as if muttering, as if whispering at the same time.

“I thought about what you said in the parking lot. Actually, I only said it was over with words, I couldn’t really do it. I didn’t try to properly face you, and I acted like a victim in front of you. Back then, I was arrogant, thinking I could be proud of our relationship since you had received money for my request. I guess I mistook endless self-pity for a victim’s pain.”

Joo Seung-ha paused briefly and slowly raised his eyes. Meeting Seo Ahn-jae’s eyes, he spoke in an even lower voice.

“I’m sorry, Senior. I never thought about the damage you might have suffered.”

Realizing this, Joo Seung-ha could finally properly face what happened seven years ago. But unlike Joo Seung-ha’s calm eyes, Seo Ahn-jae’s eyes were mixed with a complicated light. Joo Seung-ha stepped back while releasing his hand that had no response.

“I really have no remaining feelings for you now.”

These words came out as if he were speaking to himself. 

“Ah, I see, it’s finally over.” 

The now settled Joo Seung-ha looked up at Seo Ahn-jae again and repeated his initial words.

“You’re over for me, Senior.”

Joo Seung-ha turned and left the room. Seo Ahn-jae, who was left behind, stopped breathing like a statue. It was strange. He had clearly set a trap, and Joo Seung-ha had been caught in a weakened state. He should have been able to slowly, gradually consume him. But suddenly that prey said that it was over. An immense sense of defeat overwhelmed him. Before, when Joo Seung-ha pushed him away and refused him, there had been a connecting string. But now Joo Seung-ha was different. Seo Ahn-jae knew he had completely cut that string. A frightening light appeared in Seo Ahn-jae’s eyes for a moment there. He moved as if to  run and caught Joo Seung-ha as he tried to open the front door.

“What if I can’t end it? What if I don’t want to end it?”

“Wasn’t my apology what you wanted, Senior? For me to regret whatever happened between us?”

Joo Seung-ha asked quite calmly, then asked again to him who couldn’t answer.

“Or are you perhaps in love with me?”

Again, the answer didn’t come immediately. Not seeing Seo Ahn-jae’s eyes shake with shock, Joo Seung-ha opened the door with his free hand. Though Seo Ahn-jae’s hand still gripped Joo Seung-ha firmly, Joo Seung-ha quietly pleaded.

“Senior, let me go.”

Though Seo Ahn-jae’s hand remained on him, Joo Seung-ha pulled his own hand free with force. Bang, the door closed and Seo Ahn-jae took in his held breath while tightly closing his eyes. At first, laughter came out.

“Ha, fuck.

“What is this? Fuck, fuck…What the hell is this?!” He bit his lip until it bled and struck the closed door with all his might using his clenched fist.

Bang!

“Fuck, why do I have to hear such words? Fuck. Why does that bastard…Fuck, why?!” The sound of curses and hitting the door echoed inside several more times. Even after swinging his fists as if depleting all his strength, Seo Ahn-jae still couldn’t open his closed eyes.

Some uncontrollable emotion was swallowing him like a typhoon, filling him completely. His heart felt like it would burst out of his chest. 

“Fuck, Joo Seung-ha. Joo Seung-ha.” Only that name floated clearly in the center of the typhoon. And the reality that the other man had completely slipped from his grasp overwhelmed him. This was a terrible despair that Seo Ahn-jae had never felt before.

***

The weather forecast was accurate. The Saturday sky was covered in gray, carrying the scent of rain. Though it was cloudy, rain hadn’t fallen yet. Joo Seung-ha returned home out of habit but stopped at the entrance of the alley, facing the villa where he lived. Belatedly, he recalled what the landlady had said.

“Please vacate the house.” Ah, right. Joo Seung-ha couldn’t go further despite his home being right in front of him. What stood before him was clearly the house he’d lived in for years, and this alley was a path he’d walked hundreds of times before. Yet now, like a lost traveler in an unfamiliar place, he didn’t know where to go.

There had been a similar situation long ago. When he’d left the hotel bleeding, he’d come home, but angry victims had noisily blocked his way. Now there was no one blocking him, it was just quiet, but like then, he had nowhere to go.

Plop, suddenly moisture fell on his face. Joo Seung-ha wiped his face and looked up. Pat-pat-pat. Multiple raindrops fell on his face. Ah, they said it would be the rainy season. Joo Seung-ha finally took a deep breath as if coming to his senses. Though he had nowhere to go just like seven years ago, what was different now was that he knew what he needed to do.

Joo Seung-ha turned around. He needed to find a place to stay first. First, temporary accommodation was in order. Then apologize to the landlady with at least some drinks. Once one thing came to mind, other tasks quickly followed. Joo Seung-ha’s steps started to quicken.

***

There were days when luck was particularly bad. Like Murphy’s law, when the few unfortunate events that might happen once or twice a year suddenly struck all at once. On days when it felt like God was testing how much one could endure, frustration would build to its limit.

For Secretary Choi, this was such a day. Things had seemed off since morning, and now an incident forced him to come to the company on a precious weekend. The bigger problem was that the CEO, who needed to receive the report, was unreachable. When he finally appeared in the afternoon, Secretary Choi almost burst out his pent-up frustration.

“CEO! Why only now…?”

If he hadn’t seen his face then, he might have voiced his irritation. But the moment he saw Seo Ahn-jae’s face, he forgot what he was going to say. He couldn’t understand why. Seo Ahn-jae had just walked in expressionlessly, yet why did it look like something terrible had happened?

His first question was simple: Had someone close to him died? After blankly watching his silent figure enter the office, he belatedly followed. Though Secretary Choi was still half-filled with doubt, his mouth automatically recited the contents of the report.

This issue arose from their U.S. subsidiary established to expand into the mobile game market, and there was no immediate solution from here. If it had been a technical issue, they could have at least mobilized local personnel, but it wasn’t even that.

“BMC is pressuring us to terminate our exclusive contract, saying they’ll cover all damage costs. We got in touch with an insider at SKY37, and apparently, BMC is holding something over them to demand the contract termination with us. Given BMC’s size, it’s quite a difficult situation. They’re meeting with them on Monday. The concern is whether someone might have leaked our contract details with SKY37 for BMC to take such action. As you know, there are loopholes in the contract where SKY37 wouldn’t suffer much damage even if the exclusive contract is terminated. Though there are conditional clauses, SKY37 recently moved its headquarters to xx state while keeping its gaming division intact. According to our lawyer, if the trial takes place in xx state, we’d be at a disadvantage…”

SKY37’s games were being exclusively provided to Million’s game app after tremendous effort. Since this had increased Million’s recognition and popularity overseas, losing SKY37 would be an enormous loss. Secretary Choi needed to finish reporting this urgent situation quickly, but he stopped and looked at Seo Ahn-jae.

Something was definitely off. He was looking at the monitor, reading the report from the U.S. Yet unusually, it seemed like he wasn’t really processing the report. Had he been exercising? Apart from his slightly disheveled hair, his expressionless face revealed nothing, yet Secretary Choi wondered why his earlier thought returned. Why did it seem like someone had died?

“CEO.”

Though Secretary Choi bravely called out to him, Seo Ahn-jae remained motionless like a statue, his gaze fixed on the monitor.

“Perhaps you should take a break.”

Finally, Seo Ahn-jae’s eyes lifted. Secretary Choi tried to swallow the chilling sensation in his heart. Though his eyes occasionally caused such heart-stopping moments, this time was different. If before they were the eyes of a leisurely predator, now they were like those of a starving beast on the brink of death—he almost stepped back. Instead, he swallowed hard and wondered: Why had he changed like this?

“Find who leaked the contract.”

“Even if SKY37 finds who leaked it, they wouldn’t tell us…”

“Start with our side.”

Seo Ahn-jae’s voice was lower and quieter than usual. Yet it was more silencing than a forceful tone. Secretary Choi opened his reluctant lips.

“The U.S. office already conducted an internal investigation but reported finding no particular suspects.”

“Then they must be here.”

The mumble melted like ice fragments in his ears. Secretary Choi was surprised and asked “What?” but he seemed lost in thought already, his gaze lowered to the desk. Secretary Choi slightly furrowed his brow watching him the whole time. Now he was starting to worry. Had something really happened?