NFS 2.7

“Look into it.”

A monotone voice reached Secretary Choi’s serious ears. Seo Ahn-jae’s face, when he raised his head, had returned to normal. Secretary Choi quickly gathered himself and responded.

“Yes, there are only a handful of people with access to the U.S. branch contract, so there aren’t many suspects. But would anyone at an IT company be bold enough to leave such evidence?”

“If they’re bold, they might be more likely to leave evidence. Since they’d think our side wouldn’t be suspected.”

As he said, there was no reason for suspicion. Who would do something to destroy their own company? However, an hour later, Secretary Choi’s face was as pale as a sheet of paper when he rushed into Seo Ahn-jae’s office.

Which would be more devastating—having a traitor in a company built with seven years of hard work, or hearing a seven-year-old sex partner say it was over? For Seo Ahn-jae, it was the latter. Surprisingly, the former issue didn’t bother him too much. Though employees scattered in panic over the weekend creating a funeral-like atmosphere, Seo Ahn-jae left them behind and exited the company.

By the time the sun had set, he parked his car in an alley. It wasn’t an intentional destination. No, perhaps it was the intention of his subconscious, completely filled with one only person. Seo Ahn-jae turned off the engine and stared intensely at a lit window on the first floor of the villa.

After Joo Seung-ha left that morning, followed by the company crisis, there hadn’t been much time to organize his thoughts. Actually, the company issue was just an excuse. Even if he’d had all day, he would have been in the same state. Time would eventually sort this out. There was nothing he could do in the meantime

Time. Though his overlapping time with Joo Seung-ha wasn’t even half a year, for Seo Ahn-jae, all seven years were entangled with Joo Seung-ha. These emotions were so heavily packed and suffocating because of this interval of time. But it was different for Joo Seung-ha.

Seo Ahn-jae realized for sure this time. For Joo Seung-ha, their time together was just a few months, making it easy to end like this. Just a few months for him. Joo Seung-ha’s words about being different struck him to the core. They truly were different in everything—the beginning as well as the process.

But not the end. The end absolutely couldn’t be decided by Joo Seung-ha’s will alone. He absolutely wouldn’t let it end like that. If the emotion swirling inside Seo Ahn-jae had been only anger, there would have been no need to stay here. At first, anger had stood out. But now he could sense another emotion mixed in, solid like a core at the center of the whirlwind.

‘Or are you perhaps in love with me?’

That voice, calm to the point of coldness, replayed in his ears like an old tape with static. That question had shocked Seo Ahn-jae more than his declaration of ending things. It felt like that question had struck him like a hammer, shattering his body into pieces on the ground. Never had he felt so shabby and miserable in front of someone. So if this was love, if this awful thing was love.

Ding—

A ringtone interrupted Seo Ahn-jae’s thoughts. He moved his right hand, still red and swollen with scabs, to answer the phone. It turned out to be Secretary Choi, still at the company.

[CEO, your flight ticket has been issued. Please arrive at the airport by 5:30 a.m. tomorrow. I’ve informed them of your arrival time, and they said they’ll arrange for you to meet with SKY37 as soon as you arrive.]

After providing some additional information, Secretary Choi added after a pause:

[Should we keep your trip to the U.S. from internal staff?]

“It doesn’t matter.”

[But if Executive Director Hwang finds out, he might plot something…]

“He won’t plot anything.”

Seo Ahn-jae muttered, not taking his eyes away from Joo Seung-ha’s unchanging window.

“If he knows I left immediately, he’ll be too busy snickering with enjoyment to have time for behind-the-scenes schemes. And he’ll still need to hide himself, so he won’t make any moves. So…”

Seo Ahn-jae rested his arm on the steering wheel and sank into his seat.

“Let him keep smiling.”

The mutter was too quiet for Secretary Choi to hear, and Seo Ahn-jae gave him one more order.

“Book another flight ticket.”

When Seo Ahn-jae named the destination, Secretary Choi asked back, not understanding his intention:

[But this city has nothing to do with the current situation?]

“Yes, it doesn’t.”

Seo Ahn-jae’s voice was casual, as if discussing someone else’s matter, causing Secretary Choi to fall silent for a moment. He was probably puzzled. Why was Seo Ahn-jae showing so little concern? After all, Seo Ahn-jae wasn’t even curious about how long Executive Director Hwang had been planning his betrayal.

But he really wasn’t worried. Whether it was a long-planned scheme or childish revenge from anger, it didn’t matter. Such obvious dirty tricks could simply be crushed with dirtier tricks from their side. Seo Ahn-jae hung up and turned back to the window. He stared at the window, at who might be inside, without blinking, as if it were the only goal in his life.

***

Joo Seung-ha spent half the afternoon organizing his belongings. He could finish this quickly because the gangsters had already broken so many things. Wondering if he should thank them for allowing him to organize in advance, Joo Seung-ha finally emptied his small bookshelf and examined each book.

“I’ll leave tomorrow.”

At Joo Seung-ha’s words, the landlady stopped him with an apologetic face.

“No, where will you go right away? It’ll take at least a few days to find a place to stay…”

“No, I’ve already found a place.”

Joo Seung-ha smiled reassuringly and thought of the goshiwon. Having lived there for a year after military service, the cramped space wasn’t unfamiliar. After paying a month’s rent upfront and returning home, he saw that some homework needed to be done. He needed to minimize his belongings as much as possible.

Though he planned to leave behind all appliances and furniture, while organizing he found that his books unexpectedly took up the most space. Just as he was considering throwing them all away, he sat down and started examining them one by one. This one to throw away, this one too…Wow, I really enjoyed reading this one.

Momentarily pausing in his book sorting, he opened a blue-covered book and started reading. He had collected all the books by this author he used to like. Though some books were lost in frequent moves, most of this author’s books remained on the shelf.

Was it something about the weather being still hot after the sunset that made Joo Seung-ha keep turning the page? The events experienced by the protagonist and the dry descriptions cooled Joo Seung-ha like a midwinter’s knife-sharp wind. Perhaps because he had read it several times already, Joo Seung-ha quickly flipped through the pages like an addict, searching for his favorite scene.

Finally reaching the desired scene, he stopped his rapid scanning and slowly savored the climax. When he emerged from the book, over an hour of real time had passed. But this brief reading time was the most liberating thing he’d done all day. Though he wanted to read more, he had to return to reality.

Joo Seung-ha looked at the book regretfully before classifying it as one to take. While throwing most books into the sorting pile, his hand stopped at a thin poetry collection. Joo Seung-ha looked at it with a different feeling than before. This wasn’t a book he had liked. A thin collection by an unknown poet. Would there even be 100 people in the world who liked this book?

But he had once searched every bookstore for this unpopular collection that nobody knew about. When he finally found stock that even the publisher didn’t have at a large bookstore, he was so happy he could have cursed. The reason he sought it so desperately was because of Seon, who was among those hundred.

For some reason, she had liked one poem in here. She had shown it to him once while sniffling, having seen the poem somewhere. Though to Joo Seung-ha’s eyes it was just an immature love poem, Seon had said she liked it. He had teased her about having middle school syndrome at the time, but he had searched everywhere for this unpopular poetry collection.

Having forgotten he even had this book he never got to give her, Joo Seung-ha opened the collection with a strange feeling. Though he quickly flipped through the pages, he could find that poem immediately. The poem that Seon must have read many times was now read through Joo Seung-ha’s eyes.

“Cicada”

Our scale always tilted toward me.

I wanted to be a swing swaying side by side with you

But you went to higher skies

While I became a seesaw stuck to the ground.

Even being a seesaw was fine.

Like a child playing alone in an empty playground, I tried to move the seesaw by stomping the ground.

Watching you laugh up high, my heart became a big, heavy stone buried in the ground.

You, who kept laughing, must not have known.

The one who could get off first was me, touching the ground.

You fell from the air, crying loudly like a cicada

Fading away in 7 days.

Unable to cry, I burrow deeper and deeper into the ground

Wanting to become a crying cicada, I stayed buried for 7 years, holding my breath.

The reading ended much more quickly than with the novel. But unlike before, he couldn’t immediately pick up another book to organize. Joo Seung-ha lay on the floor without closing the book. Outside, instead of cicada sounds, there were pat-pat sounds of thickening raindrops. But to Joo Seung-ha’s ears, it sounded like the silent crying of a book spreading its wings after seven years.

Even past midnight, the window’s light didn’t go out, and Seo Ahn-jae’s car didn’t move. Though he needed to leave for the airport now, he couldn’t leave this place, as if this was the only thing he could do in the world. Instead, he put a cigarette in his mouth and lit it. It was his first cigarette of the day.

When he lowered the window, the drizzle that had soaked the ground all day had suddenly turned into thick raindrops that splashed inside. Seo Ahn-jae got out of the car with the cigarette in his mouth. Standing beside the closed door with a ‘tap’, he took a deep drag of his cigarette while getting soaked by the heavy downpour of rain.

Though he knew this whole situation was awful, what angered Seo Ahn-jae most was the fact that from tomorrow, he’d be separated from Joo Seung-ha. This damn anxiety wasn’t funny because Seo Ahn-jae’s heart had already become an enormous desert beyond remedy. He realized that no amount of water could quench his thirst.

So he didn’t mind the thick raindrops rapidly soaking his body. Seo Ahn-jae took another drag of his cigarette and thought, Yes, this love can’t be resolved. Unlike his long confusion, the admission came surprisingly easily. It had to. He wanted to rush into that light right now, cage him in his hands, hold him, and shout: Look at me!

After flicking away the ash from his finished cigarette, Seo Ahn-jae got back in the car and called someone on his smartphone. With water now dripping from his wet hair, Seo Ahn-jae pushed it back with his hand while giving orders to the person who answered.

“Give them all the money they want, no conditions. Yes, 700 million.”

He cast a real snare that Joo Seung-ha couldn’t escape unless he walked in voluntarily.

Heading to work Monday after his vacation, Joo Seung-ha felt slightly tense. Though he’d only rested for a week, it felt as long as several months—like going to school with slight awkwardness after a long winter break. One reason for his tension was his mother’s unresolved issue.

Fortunately, his mother hadn’t visited the company again during this time, allowing his anxiety to subside. The problem lay somewhere completely unexpected. While everyone welcomed him warmly, only one person was particularly prickly and irritable. It was Manager Park.

“Your sales performance is the highest despite suddenly taking a week off. As expected of Team Leader.”

At these sarcastic words, Joo Seung-ha silently watched her. Manager Park’s eyes wavered slightly under Joo Seung-ha’s gaze, but she quickly smiled and added, “Why so serious? It’s a compliment. I’m just jealous of your amazing sales skills. Share your methods with me sometime.”

Manager Park turned and went to her seat with one final snide remark. Joo Seung-ha ignored it and focused on his backlog of work, only learning the reason for Manager Park’s attitude at lunch. Sales staff received sales incentives, with higher rates for achieving certain sales targets. Sales performance was important, and Joo Seung-ha’s performance had suddenly skyrocketed this month.

“One of Team Leader’s stores ordered 5 million won worth of pet food at once. All high-unit-price items—wet food, freeze-dried, and cold-pressed only.”

Joo Seung-ha belatedly checked last week’s sales. The employee was right. Such a large order of premium food had been placed and shipped at once. The issue was the order. It turned out to be  President Kang from Garosu-gil. Dumbfounded, Joo Seung-ha asked the employee who took the order, “Are they going to sell all this?”

“No. They said they were going to donate it to an animal shelter, so we shipped directly there. But isn’t it generous? Such expensive food.”

Joo Seung-ha frowned silently, thinking the same thing. Are they crazy? With this money, they could buy two or three times as much regular food. Of course, shelter dogs didn’t have to eat only cheap food, but it wasn’t efficient.

Joo Seung-ha glanced over at Manager Park, who still looked disgruntled. She might be bitter since she’d worked hard to make the introduction, only to get criticized, and now Joo Seung-ha was getting incentives thanks to President Kang. Though Joo Seung-ha understood why Manager Park was upset, he was annoyed too.

What is this person doing? So he had no choice but to head to President Kang’s store after work. He didn’t call ahead because he didn’t want to hear his triumphant voice saying his method had worked. But such caution proved unnecessary.

“Boss is at the coffee shop in front.”

The employee’s expression was dark as they told him President Kang’s location. 

“Does he have a prior appointment with someone?” When Joo Seung-ha said he’d leave if that were the case, the employee stopped him.

“No, he’s alone. You came at a good time. Boss was trying to feel better, but got depressed again after getting contacted by an ex yesterday. Poor boss. Please go comfort him, okay?”

How am I supposed to comfort him? Joo Seung-ha was about to firmly shake his head but couldn’t speak seeing the concern written all over the employee’s face. For an employee to worry about their boss like this, President Kang must be a good person after all. Heading to the café across the street, Joo Seung-ha made excuses. Well, I do need to talk about the 5 million won worth of pet food.