NFS 3.6

How could shame become fuel for arousal? After realizing what excited him, Joo Seung-ha had felt self-loathing over this question for quite some time. His pride made him reluctant to blame his first improper relationship as the cause. But beyond that, he suspected he might have always been naturally inclined this way. Just as Seo Ahn-jae seemed to be similarly inclined.

So sex with Seo Ahn-jae was inevitably too compatible. Knowing this, Joo Seung-ha had strictly warned himself before starting this relationship. Don’t fall into pleasure. So at the command to spread his legs, his hands twitched involuntarily. But he gripped the blanket tightly and looked up at Seo Ahn-jae with cold eyes.

“If you want to finish quickly, you hold them.”

Seo Ahn-jae lifted his mouth corner as if finding this whole thing ridiculous.

“Fine. I’ll finish quickly.”

“…”

“What are you waiting for? Hold them.”

A cold sneer could be heard. Joo Seung-ha moved his hands at this command. But long ago while spending time with him, he was always turned around, and their recent night together was more a tool to forget reality than sex for Joo Seung-ha. So looking up at him from below with sex as the only purpose still felt unfamiliar, and his hands trembled slightly with unfamiliar fear.

Not wanting to reveal this, he forcefully pushed his raised knees apart. But no matter how calm he tried to be, spreading his legs to expose himself under the bright light was impossible to do casually. Heat rose to his face. He wanted to swallow hard and avoid eye contact. Though he held his legs trying to act normal despite all of this, his eyes were already wavering and his throat bobbing.

Seo Ahn-jae watched every minute change without missing a single thing. A flame lit in his eyes like a lighter in darkness. Joo Seung-ha probably didn’t know that trying desperately to hide his trembling was more arousing than obvious shaking. Seo Ahn-jae suppressed his smile while licking his lips. Then deliberately spoke even more coldly, “Spread them properly so that I can see it.”

When Seo Ahn-jae adjusted Joo Seung-ha’s hands to wrap around the inside of his knees, Joo Seung-ha’s eyes wavered again. This time he slightly averted his gaze. This is driving me crazy. Seo Ahn-jae felt close to climaxing from excitement though he hadn’t done anything yet.

Though his doll-like obedience and downcast eyes from 7 years ago were stimulating, it was nothing compared to now. His defiant upward gaze despite trembling, his tone trying to stay strong despite tensely drawing breath—everything was incredibly arousing.

Was this more his taste originally? Or did falling for Joo Seung-ha make even the smallest hair on his arm exciting? Either way, none of this mattered. Though he’d had sex with many people in his life, just as no one had been as satisfying as Joo Seung-ha in the past, he was certain no one would ever be as amazing as Joo Seung-ha in the future.

Seo Ahn-jae felt somewhat bewildered, having never wanted anything this much in his life. The feeling was so overwhelming that he had an absurd desire to record and store everything about Joo Seung-ha he could see each moment, from his breathing to the feeling of his skin under his hands.

“Ungh.”

A suppressed moan escaped from Joo Seung-ha’s lips. Seo Ahn-jae briefly stopped his fingers from moving inside Joo Seung-ha. Instead, he furrowed his brow and looked up. He’d been so entranced watching Joo Seung-ha’s chest rise and fall that he’d missed seeing his expression when he moaned. Damn, I wished I could’ve seen his face.

“You’re loving this.”

At Seo Ahn-jae’s words, irritation flashed again in Joo Seung-ha’s eyes. This time Seo Ahn-jae couldn’t hold back his smile. He just laughed. So Seo Ahn-jae poured out his emotions openly through his gaze. Joo Seung-ha’s eyes widened slightly before freezing when their eyes met. I say I don’t like him, so why am I so flustered by his feelings?

His naiveté was endearing, but part of him was annoyed that he couldn’t reciprocate. Seo Ahn-jae pulled his fingers out completely and sat back up. He grabbed the gel he’d left by the bed, squeezed it onto his fingers, and then ferociously shoved two fingers into the puckered back of his not-yet-blooming flower.

“Ouch.”

“It hurts? That means it’s good for you.”

Joo Seung-ha’s jaw twitched as if he was about to swallow an expletive, and he squeezed his eyes shut against the coolness of the gel and the growing foreignness.

“Think what you will.”

Joo Seung-ha muttered, his uvula rising and falling. Seo Ahn-jae watched it and moved his fingers roughly. His eyes half narrowed, not wanting to miss the way Joo Seung-ha’s body reacted. The wriggling legs, the strength in his hands, the way his chest heaved with his breathing, the way that flat belly moved slightly along his chest.

Seo Ahn-jae savored the thought of his penis lodged in that belly and swelling. The hand that applied the gel and swirled it in and out of his belly became as fast as the movement of his penis. Every time his fingers came out, the gel that ran down the entrance made a squeaky, erotic sound.

“Mmmmm.”

The finger pressed against the trigger point, and Joo Seung-ha let another uncontrollable moan escape through his tightly closed mouth. Did the other man know? He wasn’t trying to react, but his hands were eagerly pulling his legs apart as Seo Ahn-jae commanded. Looking down at him, Seo Ahn-jae’s breathing became ragged. Goddamn it. Why am I being dragged into this?

“Seung-ha.”

Joo Seung-ha opened his eyes at the low voice calling him by his first name. Seo Ahn-jae met his gaze, withdrew his finger, and placed the tip of his penis in his back hole. The rounded tip of the glans rubbed against the entrance, which twitched as his finger slipped out. No matter how much he loosened up, the entrance reopened as soon as he withdrew his finger, making it impossible to enter easily without some force.

Of course, for Seo Ahn-jae, getting in there was easier than eating. He’d always pushed in without thinking about the other person during sex, so he’d never had to rub against the entrance like this. This was a new experience for Seo Ahn-jae. He was dying to get inside Joo Seung-ha, but it all seemed like an utter waste.

“Why?”

A slightly cracked voice asked, and Seo Ahn-jae barely looked up from his mesmerized gaze. Joo Seung-ha’s eyes narrowed slightly, as if he was disappointed that Seo Ahn-jae hadn’t gone straight in and tickled him at the entrance. It was a gaze he didn’t like, but Seo Ahn-jae didn’t find it cute either. Resisting the urge to laugh, he grabbed his penis and pushed against his waist.

“Hmph!”

Joo Seung-ha tilted his head and gasped as the glans pushed through the wrinkled flesh and entered. It felt like his entire pelvis was filled with something, even though only the glans were inside.

“Ha, cunt.”

Hearing his short expletive, Joo Seung-ha looked up with half-open eyes, frowning, and then stopped. His dark eyes, glowing with desire, were animalistic and eerie for a moment.

“Seung-ha.”

Seo Ahn-jae called his name again. He leaned over and reached for his face. The question of why he kept calling for him never left Joo Seung-ha’s lips. A large hand cupped his face, so soft it felt like satin, and he pushed against his waist. Half of the pole slammed into him at once, beneath a glans that hadn’t yet adjusted to its size.

Ugh, Joo Seung-ha let out a groan he couldn’t quite swallow and turned his head to the side. As soon as he turned his head in the opposite direction, away from Seo Ahn-jae’s reach, a hand grabbed Joo Seung-ha’s hair. Joo Seung-ha’s eyes widened in surprise. A momentary haze of panic and fear spread through them, and though it was only for a moment, Seo Ahn-jae felt a thrill of recognition. It was more arousing than mere obedience.

“Seung-ha.”

The voice called his name again, sweet in contrast to the rough hand.

“Uh, let go…Wait, don’t move.”

As Joo Seung-ha spoke, Seo Ahn-jae pulled his penis out of his half-inserted penis and pushed it back in with force. Seo Ahn-jae frowned as Joo Seung-ha tensed up and tightened. Joo Seung-ha’s insides felt hard, his lining clamping down on his cock.

“Seung-ha.”

This time, the name came out in a soothing, but ragged breath. Joo Seung-ha clutched at the arm that still held his head and squeezed his eyes shut hard, then opened them.

“Ha, damn it. Stop calling my names, ha, let go of me…ah!”

But this time, the words didn’t come out right. Seo Ahn-jae began to move his waist. The hard flesh forced its way into the still-hardened insides of his hole.. Joo Seung-ha’s breath caught in his throat. It was a familiar sensation, but this time his penis felt unusually large inside him. It felt like one breath would tear his back apart.

“Wait, hngh, wait…”

Joo Seung-ha grabbed his arm as if to ask, but Seo Ahn-jae didn’t stop moving, instead pushing the pole that was halfway in all the way. Joo Seung-ha threw his head back and stopped breathing. Seo Ahn-jae’s eyes locked on his face contorted in pain.

“Seung-ha.”

Seo Ahn-jae muttered something that sounded like a sigh and lowered his head. Joo Seung-ha groaned in pain, not yet accustomed to the painful act, but the words ‘Wait’, or ‘Stop’ didn’t come out. The look in Seo Ahn-jae’s eyes as he leaned in was enough of a reason.

When Joo Seung-ha involuntarily turned his head to avoid the kiss, the other man’s hand grabbed his chin forcibly and kissed him. More than the hard press of his lips against his, he felt strangely violated by the breath he exhaled into his mouth and nose.

Below, hot flesh rose and fell, consuming him like a living creature. This should have been humiliating. Joo Seung-ha knew that if he were sane, he would hate Seo Ahn-jae at this moment and stop this act.

A shiver of electricity ran through him as he realized it was sexual arousal, and self-doubt froze his reason like ice, but it soon melted into formlessness under the heat of Seo Ahn-jae’s body. Seo Ahn-jae forced his lips apart with force.

His tongue, as hot as his penis, swirled frantically inside Joo Seung-ha’s mouth. Joo Seung-ha’s backside suddenly relaxed and began to accept the incoming penis, and a tingle of stimulation that he didn’t recognize as pain gathered inside his pelvis, then spread out with a bang.

“Hmmm.”

A moan, now different from the one of pain, escaped from between his clasped lips. The sound Joo Seung-ha made was drowned out by Seo Ahn-jae’s ravenous kiss, but even that made Joo Seung-ha’s heart race now. Puck, puck, the sound of thrusting from beneath him mingled with the erratic kissing.

Joo Seung-ha, he heard his name being called again. Why is he calling me this, Joo Seung-ha thought as he was swept away by a breathless wave of excitement. Why am I moving like such an amateur? He thought back. Surely he had skillfully controlled the pace during their last encounter. But now, Seo Ahn-jae’s sex was urgent, even desperate.

“Mmm, ha.”

A tingling sensation of pleasure spread through Joo Seung-ha’s insides as the penis pressed against his stimulation point, his back clenching and his abdomen squirming. His breathing became ragged, muffled by the kiss. On Joo Seung-ha’s cue, Seo Ahn-jae’s hips began to move faster and deeper. His iliac crest slammed hard against his hip, pushing Joo Seung-ha’s body upward. The pleasure that took over Joo Seung-ha’s body grew in size and density as the force and pressure increased to the point of breaking his body.

“Hmph, hyung…deep, hah, so, so, ah!”

Suddenly, Joo Seung-ha’s mouth was filled with pleas and moans, his shame gone. Seo Ahn-jae stared down at Joo Seung-ha with drugged eyes, his breathing ragged. It was like a never-ending cycle of repetition. But they both knew there was going to be an end to this movement. Their swollen, hot penises and their clenching insides were building to a climax that only amplified the pleasure.

“Hmm, hmph, Seung-ha, haa, Seung-ha.”

Seo Ahn-jae called Joo Seung-ha’s name over and over again, gripping his hands and raising his upper body.

Joo Seung-ha gasped out loud, his heart pounding in his chest, and raised his gaze to the man, who was calling him. In that gaze was a mixture of brutal need, heat of pleasure, and wistfulness. Joo Seung-ha now knew for certain who had been calling his name over and over again.

So he closed his eyes as if to turn away from the truth. He concentrated on the pleasure that took over his body, as if Seo Ahn-jae had turned him inside out and blocked his vision long ago. With each thrust, his body shook as if it would snap in half, until he reached his climax. He heard his name a few more times before the end came. Seung-ha. Joo Seung-ha.

***

While people often say you shouldn’t let your mood affect your attitude, this advice didn’t work in a corporate world where rank determined attitude. Secretary Choi considered Seo Ahn-jae’s ability to hide his emotions one of his few good qualities, having seen many high-ranking executives unable to mask their feelings regardless of age or gender.

Seo Ahn-jae made decisions objectively to that extent. However, he could also appear coldly unlikeable. Once you got used to it, you could cope by thinking, “Fine, go ahead and radiate coldness. I’ll just freeze like dried pollack.” That was why Secretary Choi was quite uncomfortable with Seo Ahn-jae’s recent changes.

“Haha, CEO, you’re really funny!”

The writer and PD who came from the broadcasting station for a preliminary interview were beaming at Seo Ahn-jae’s every word. When Seo Ahn-jae gave them a pleasant smile, their eyes lit up brilliantly. If no one else, Secretary Choi clearly saw it. It was similar to the maniacal spark he’d seen in his cousin’s eyes when watching their favorite idol perform long ago.

“Thank you. First time I’ve been called funny.”

Only Secretary Choi strongly agreed with Seo Ahn-jae’s polite response. Of course—it was true. Wasn’t he someone who normally had about as much humor as an ant’s backside hair? However, the disbelieving writer and PD giggled again in unison. By this point, Secretary Choi figured they’d get a dopamine rush even if Seo Ahn-jae just recited the Korean alphabet.

“Oh no, that can’t be! You’re so funny! If I had a boss like CEO Seo, I’d want to come to work every day! You wouldn’t even need to pay me!”

Secretary Choi, who cried every morning not wanting to go to work, looked at the writer seriously. However, no one noticed Secretary Choi’s stern expression, as he had already become invisible in this space. The PD, in particular, was even more focused on Seo Ahn-jae. There was a reason.

“Also, we’re planning to film the company briefly before studio recording for reference materials. Would it be okay to interview some employees as well?”

“Will you be doing it yourself, PD Joo Seung-ha?”

Seo Ahn-jae spoke the PD’s name with unusual sweetness.