RFL Ch 19

Even though he had only stayed for a few days, Sooin had accumulated a surprising amount of belongings at Song Jaeyi’s house. The suitcase he had prepared for appearances was overflowing, and he had to remove some clothes.

The night, after placing the black suitcase in the corner by the door, was quiet. Song Jaeyi, usually quiet, was even more so tonight, and Sooin didn’t try to force any conversation.

To make matters worse, it started raining late at night. The sound of the drizzling rain stirred up his anxieties. Another rainy summer night… The day of his most painful breakup naturally came to mind, making his chest feel even tighter.

Sooin pulled Song Jaeyi close and snuggled into him, hugging his thick body tightly, hiding his cold hands behind Jaeyi’s back.

Memories of three years ago still resurfaced from time to time. Despite constantly pretending to be fine, Sooin became helplessly vulnerable in moments like these. He felt a preemptive fear of things that hadn’t even happened, and an uncharacteristic weakness crept into his thoughts.

What if a life-altering breakup like that happened again? What if something went wrong and he could no longer see Song Jaeyi? What if he became alone again…

“You’re already thinking about getting a job tomorrow, aren’t you?”

Song Jaeyi asked in a low voice. His tone, resentful even before hearing the answer, made Sooin chuckle. Hiding his stiff expression, he replied playfully.

“How did you know? I’ll have to get four or five jobs to make up for the time I took off.”

At his forcedly cheerful reply, Song Jaeyi sighed. The murmur that followed the sigh sounded excessively loud.

“We only went on one date while you were off.”

The grumbling, clearly meant for him to hear, finally brought a genuine laugh to Sooin’s lips. He chuckled and lifted his head.

Looking up from his lower vantage point, Song Jaeyi’s face seemed different than usual. His pale face, tinged with the dark hues of the night sky, felt strangely alluring. It was a look that stirred his heart.

Sooin gazed at Song Jaeyi for a while, pondering what he could do for this man who could push him to the depths of fear one moment and make him laugh the next.

“Should we go on a trip once I’m done with this?”

For Sooin, travel had become the trigger for unfortunate events. Even as a tourism major, he found it difficult to define travel as a happy word.

“…Really?”

But when he saw Song Jaeyi’s eyes light up, the problem became simple. Sooin grinned and nodded. Song Jaeyi blinked a few times, then words tumbled out of him.

“There are so many places I want to go with Hyung. I want to go to the beach. Do you know how to swim? Oh, what about camping? Have you ever been camping? I’m good at it. I can build a fire.”

The words flowed smoothly, as if he had thought about this often. It was hard to believe this was the same person who had been silent since dinner.

His quiet voice continued uninterrupted until the rain stopped and the night deepened. Sooin drifted in and out of sleep, waking up to the sound of Jaeyi’s voice each time. Whenever he woke, Song Jaeyi would pat his back, as if the words hadn’t been meant for him to hear.

Go back to sleep, he would whisper in his ear, and Sooin would obediently close his eyes, his breathing slowing, deepening into a peaceful slumber. As Sooin’s breaths evened out, Song Jaeyi quietly resumed his monologue.

“Actually, I wanted to show you where I lived first.”

The quiet words suddenly woke Sooin from his drowsiness. He was instantly wide awake but continued to feign sleep. He felt that if he didn’t, he wouldn’t be able to hear Jaeyi’s quiet confession.

[Honestly, I don’t have many good memories of Canada.]

Song Jaeyi muttered in English and chuckled. His short, dry laugh pricked at Sooin’s heart.

“I liked being at Hyung’s house. It felt like I saw a glimpse of you as a child.”

“…”

“But Canada… you have to take a plane.”

Song Jaeyi trailed off and fell silent. Even his large, warm hand, which had been stroking Sooin’s back, stopped, as if lost in thought.

[No, I don’t want to show you that. I don’t want to go to Canada.]

The words, finally spoken, weighed heavily on Sooin. The scenes Jaeyi must have imagined during the brief silence pierced his heart. Despite his efforts to remain still, he could no longer maintain his even breathing.

A shaky breath escaped him, followed by a sigh.

“…Were you listening?”

Sooin didn’t bother answering the question, which was laced with embarrassment. Instead, he hugged Jaeyi tighter and stroked his back.

Soothed by the comforting touch, the tension slowly seeped out of Song Jaeyi’s stiff body. His back muscles, which had been tense like a rock face, gradually relaxed.

“Let’s go sometime later.”

By then, I hope Song Jaeyi has erased all his bad memories. No, I will make sure he does.

“Even 10 years from now, Hyung will be okay.”

“…You won’t break up with me even 10 years from now?”

“Why? Do you think you’ll get sick of me?”

“Who said that? You’re the one who keeps talking about breaking up these days.”

Sooin suppressed his simmering anger and sadness and smiled. He gently stroked and patted Song Jaeyi, murmuring,

“20 years from now is fine too.”

“What about 30 years?”

“Hmm… Should we go when we’re completely old? Two old men holding hands.”

“…Ah, what are you saying?”

Song Jaeyi grumbled, seemingly embarrassed and annoyed by Sooin’s casual, almost proposal-like words. Sooin, who now found even Jaeyi’s irritation endearing, didn’t mind. He closed his eyes, holding his large younger lover tightly in his arms.

The familiar scent of pheromones and warm embrace quickly lulled him to sleep. As his consciousness faded, he heard Song Jaeyi murmur,

“I didn’t mean I didn’t want to.”

Thanks to those words, Sooin fell asleep with a smile on his face.

❤︎₊ ⊹

The next morning, Jaeyi woke up early. Even more than the light filtering through his eyelids, it was the empty space beside him that jolted him awake. He touched the cold sheets and immediately checked for the suitcase by the door. The black bag was already gone.

Kim Sooin had left. Without saying goodbye.

He must have done it on purpose to avoid getting sentimental, but Jaeyi couldn’t help but feel a pang of disappointment. I’ll definitely give him a piece of my mind when we meet again on the weekend, he thought as he walked out to the living room and stopped in front of the dining table. Two round plushies, which should have been in his study, were sitting side by side on the table, looking at him.

The plushies, perched on a memo pad, were covered in glittering stickers. Small, colorful heart stickers adorned the plushies and the small pill container between them. It looked as if a child had been playing there while he slept.

Jaeyi stood there for a long time, looking down at the brightly decorated plushies. After a long silence, he peeled off a heart sticker from a plushie’s forehead and placed it next to the simple message, “See you Saturday.” Imagining Kim Sooin getting up early to meticulously apply the numerous heart stickers melted away his disappointment.

The thought of Hyung diligently applying the glittery stickers, which didn’t suit him at all, brought a strange warmth to his chest. The post-it note, with only the message “See you Saturday” and no mention of the effort he put in to decorate the pill container to distract Jaeyi from any unpleasant memories associated with it, was particularly touching.

Jaeyi’s large finger traced the heart-adorned message. He pocketed the unspoken reply, “I miss you already,” and took out his phone.

It was still early, but he had no intention of being polite to the person he was calling. As soon as the call connected, Jaeyi spoke.

[I misjudged you.]

He could hear the rustling of sheets from the other end. The man, who had just woken up, groaned and said in a sickeningly sweet voice, “Son?” Jaeyi fiddled with the white plushie and began his act.

[I didn’t expect you to stoop so low. How could you tell your own child to drug someone? You even sent five this time.]

— Ah… he already told you.

[…Ha, ‘he’? I found them.]

Jaeyi let out a forced, ragged breath and deliberately kicked a chair. The chair clattered loudly against the table and crashed to the floor.

[He’s gone now, and I… I can’t see him anymore. Because of you.]

The violent noise was met with amusement from the other end of the line.

— Oh dear, it seems our son was very fond of him.

Despite the disruption to his plan, his father wasn’t fazed. He knew how Jaeyi reacted when someone precious to him was held hostage. He might have even anticipated this.

Jaeyi played along, murmuring in a resigned voice.

[Leave him alone. Don’t bother the people around me anymore.]

— Hmm…

[I’ll do as you wish.]

— You mean you’ll keep your mouth shut to your mother as well?

The disgustingly cheerful voice made it impossible for Jaeyi to continue his act. A look of utter revulsion crossed his face, and a tightness gripped his chest.

His grip on the plushie tightened, and he quickly put it down, picking up the clear pill container instead, squeezing it tightly as he sighed.

“So, when do I take this damn pill?”

His father readily recited the time and place he had given Kim Sooin: Saturday at 10 a.m., Vecum Seoul. Jaeyi burst out laughing.

[That’s the day I have a dinner appointment with Mother. You must be in a hurry.]

— I have no choice. If my son starts showing signs of paranoia again, Sujin will be very upset.

Paranoia. The familiar excuse wiped the smile off his face.

— But how fortunate that he’s completely recovered now and we don’t have to worry about him spouting nonsense.

His father had a natural talent for shifting blame. His shameless, relieved laughter left Jaeyi speechless. Despite knowing how terrible his father was, he still managed to surprise him, like now.

[…I’ll reschedule my appointment with Mother for tomorrow. It would be unnatural to cancel suddenly after saying I have something important to tell her.]

— Do as you please. You should have some nourishing food since you have an important task ahead of you. Ah, I should go and buy it for you. And we can have that family gathering we missed last time.

[Don’t say disgusting things and hang up. We’ll be seeing enough of each other soon anyway.]

Even when Jaeyi openly mocked him, his father didn’t get angry. Instead, he laughed heartily and said cheerfully,

— Then I’ll see you on Saturday.

The same message Sooin had left on the post-it note sounded completely different coming from his father. After hanging up, Jaeyi roughly rubbed his ears, feeling as if his eardrums were contaminated.

I want to hear Hyung’s voice.

Lost in thought, Jaeyi dialed Choi Jooyoung’s number. He hesitated briefly because of the early hour, but his hesitation was short-lived. He pressed the call button, and the ringing tone stretched on.

— Ugh, hello…

Choi Jooyoung finally answered, his voice thick with sleep.

The only way to let him go back to sleep quickly was to get straight to the point. Jaeyi asked as politely as he could,

“Didn’t Hyung leave a message?”

— Oh, come on…

A loud sigh was his only reply. Jaeyi, who had briefly pulled the phone away from his ear, stated his purpose again.

“If he didn’t, I’ll leave one first. I miss him.”

— Ugh, why are you doing this first thing in the morning? Seriously…

Choi Jooyoung groaned dramatically. Then a woman’s voice could be heard faintly in the background.

— Who is it? At this hour.

— It’s a difficult client…

— Give me the phone, I’ll tell them off.

— No, it’s okay. Go back to sleep.

“I can hear everything.”

Jaeyi muttered, frowning. Choi Jooyoung finally cleared his throat and seemed to get out of bed. The rustling of sheets was followed by the sounds of him drinking water and getting dressed.

— I’ll be right back!

Choi Jooyoung yelled and opened the front door. A beeping sound was followed by the sound of footsteps in the hallway. Jaeyi, who had been patiently waiting, spoke again.

“Saturday, same time and place.”

— …

“I’m meeting Mother tomorrow. I don’t know if you remember, but I’m planning to meet the uncle I mentioned before, too.”

— I don’t remember.

“Not that side.”

— Ah, yes, yes.

“Anyway, my uncle will help too, so you don’t have to worry.”

— Yes…

Choi Jooyoung’s indifferent replies were punctuated by the sound of a lighter. Did he even hear me? Jaeyi was about to ask when Jooyoung spoke first.

— Mr. Song Jaeyi, is this uncle of yours rich?

The out-of-context question was drawn out, slowed by his smoking. Annoyed by his casual attitude, Jaeyi didn’t reply, just raised his eyebrows in irritation. Choi Jooyoung pressed on.

— Is he someone who can protect you no matter what happens?

“…”

— Honestly, I’m worried. Kim Sooin says nothing will happen, but honestly, he’s not an easy opponent.

At that point, Jaeyi realized that Choi Jooyoung wasn’t really asking about his uncle. He was asking a different question.

— Can I really trust him?

Jaeyi’s furrowed brows smoothed out. He nodded and answered after a brief pause.

“You can trust him.”

— …

“Even if something happens, I’ll save him somehow.”

— Somehow?

“Yes. I’ll give everything I have.”

He had meant it sincerely, but sudden laughter erupted from the other end. Choi Jooyoung laughed for a long time, unable to answer when Jaeyi asked why he was laughing. Jaeyi bit his lip hard to stop himself from saying, “Then just die,” to the man who was practically crying with laughter.

❤︎₊ ⊹

Even though the sudden change of plans meant meeting during work hours, his mother was delighted. She said it was a shame they couldn’t go to the restaurant they had booked, but she was happy to introduce her brother to Wooden Hear. She smiled brightly.

“Jaeyi, you’ve grown so much I almost didn’t recognize you.”

“You haven’t changed either, Uncle.”

“Wow, you’ve become quite the talker.”

His uncle laughed, thinking it was just polite small talk, but Jaeyi was being sincere.

Baek Moonhyung, five years older than his mother, Baek Sujin, still looked young. The suit he wore stretched taut over his well-built frame, and his energetic demeanor was the same as ever. Especially his eyes, which Jaeyi had always thought resembled a tiger’s, were unchanged. Actually, it wasn’t because his uncle often took him on plane rides, but because of those sharp, yet righteous eyes that Jaeyi liked his youngest uncle the most.

“I mean it.”

Jaeyi chuckled, and Baek Sujin widened her eyes. She nudged him in the ribs with her thin elbow.

“He… How can he look the same after more than 10 years? You’ve aged, haven’t you, Oppa?”

At her whispered joke, Baek Moonhyung’s gaze swept over Jaeyi. 10 years? His eyes narrowed, then returned to normal. He smiled casually and played along.

“I have aged. I’d probably end up in the hospital if I tried to give Jaeyi a piggyback ride now.”

“Oh, Oppa. It would be cheaper to just buy him a plane.”

“Should I?”

“Of course not! I’m just kidding.”

The atmosphere at lunch was cheerful. Jaeyi, feeling a genuine family atmosphere for the first time in a while, ate comfortably. I should definitely come here with Hyung next time, he thought, thoroughly enjoying the meal.

Around the time dessert arrived, his mother, Baek Sujin, excused herself. She showed him her phone, saying she had a sudden call from the banquet team, and left. As soon as she was gone, Baek Moonhyung looked at Jaeyi, his eyes gleaming as he put down his dessert spoon.

“So… what did you really want to talk about today?”

“…”

“Sujin doesn’t seem to know about you calling me to the hospital five years ago.”

Jaeyi slowly nodded. His eyes darkened, just like they had in the hospital five years ago.

“You told me that day, Uncle, that if I ever needed help, you would be on my side.”

Baek Moonhyung’s face, which had been full of hearty laughter, changed. His expression turned serious and hardened.

“…There’s not enough time to explain everything, so I’ll get straight to the important part.”

Jaeyi glanced at the clock on the wall and cleared his throat.

“That man is planning something terrible, and I want to catch him in the act and have him punished. Korea is still passive about crimes that haven’t happened yet.”

Baek Moonhyung didn’t ask who “that man” was. He seemed to have had a premonition from the moment Jaeyi mentioned Song Hankook’s name.

“I need people on standby nearby. Bodyguards would be even better.”

At his calm request, Baek Moonhyung’s eyes clouded over. He seemed unable to hide his dismay as he reflected on the past. His usually confident and unwavering gaze wavered. Jaeyi lowered his head, feeling inexplicably apologetic.

There had been several opportunities over the years. People who sensed something was wrong had asked probing questions about his father. Kim Sooin, whom he had first met at the hotel, had done so, and so had Baek Moonhyung. They had given Jaeyi many chances to tell the truth.

Yet he couldn’t bring himself to speak. Even five years ago, when Baek Moonhyung had urged him to be honest, saying, “Your love-struck mother might not know, but you can’t fool me,” Jaeyi had lied again. He had summoned his uncle to the hospital, only to tell him another lie.

“I… I couldn’t tell you then. I was afraid Mother would be sad if she found out.”

“…”

“I’m sorry. For telling you so late.”

Baek Moonhyung sighed deeply, a harsh exhale closer to a curse than a breath. He then reached into his pocket.

“Jaeyi, didn’t your uncle say ‘anytime’?”

His large hand placed a familiar business card next to the dessert plate. Just as Jaeyi was about to take it, the sound of approaching footsteps echoed from afar. His mother was hurrying back to the room.

“Let’s talk more later.”

Baek Moonhyung muttered, picking up his spoon just as the door opened. Baek Sujin rushed in, apologizing profusely. “Sorry, sorry,” she said, clasping her hands together as she sat down.

“Sujin, try this quickly, it’s delicious.”

Baek Moonhyung instantly erased his serious expression and smiled, as if he had been enjoying his dessert all along. Thanks to his quick thinking, Jaeyi was able to discreetly pocket the business card.

The black card had only a phone number on it, no other information. Just like five years ago.

❤︎₊ ⊹

Sixteen-year-old Jaeyi suffered from severe growing pains. Long flights were out of the question; he often groaned and tossed even in his own bed.

[Even though we’re divorced, how can I not go when your father has collapsed?]

But Song Hankook booked the plane tickets without consulting him. He was ecstatic, as if he’d struck gold, at the news of the Baekro Group chairman’s collapse. He didn’t even respond when Jaeyi repeatedly told him he didn’t want to fly. Instead, he was busy spewing insincere words.

[You must be so upset, especially since you’re not even in Korea. Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of him for you.]

His hypocritical phone calls continued until just before takeoff. Jaeyi didn’t even have a chance to mention his aching knees.

The situation was similar after they arrived in Korea. As soon as they unpacked, Song Hankook dragged Jaeyi to the hospital. It was a strange hospital, filled with men in black suits.

“What are you doing here?”

“It’s been a while. How is Father?”

Song Hankook, in a white polo shirt, was the only one not wearing a black suit. It made him stand out even more as he was jostled by his suited brothers. Jaeyi hesitated, taking a step back.

“Don’t do this, especially with a child present. I’m just here to pay my respects on Sujin’s behalf.”

[Jaeyi, greet your uncles.]

A rough hand pulled Jaeyi forward, just like on the plane. Forced forward by his father, Jaeyi gave an awkward greeting. He fumbled, unsure whether to bow at the waist or just nod his head.

His uncles fell silent for a moment. As someone whispered that he was pretty, just like Sujin, a large man stepped forward. It was Jaeyi’s “airplane uncle.” He glared at Song Hankook with predatory eyes.

“You might be able to fool my sister, but you can’t fool me. You must have ulterior motives for agreeing to the divorce so readily. Do you think I don’t know you’re constantly scheming for a piece of the pie? A lowlife like you…”

His large, thick hand shoved his father. Those around him held him back, growling that he should leave while he still could.

Baek Moonhyung then looked down at Jaeyi. He clicked his tongue and roughly pushed his father’s shoulder.

“You think our father would be thrilled to see you bring a child here? Go in and pay your respects alone.”

His father was pushed roughly into the hospital room with the other uncles. He looked back at Jaeyi as if wanting to take him along, but Baek Moonhyung hissed sharply.

Left alone with the intimidating uncle, Jaeyi blinked nervously. He was both scared and comfortable with his uncle, whom he had liked as a child. But he also felt a familiar urge to run away.

After a moment of silence, Baek Moonhyung suddenly pulled Jaeyi over to a long bench in a corner of the hallway, away from the men in suits.

“Jaeyi, do you remember your uncle?”

Crouching in front of Jaeyi, he seemed much more cheerful than before. His playful smile eased Jaeyi’s tension, and he nodded.

“You understand well now. He wouldn’t even let you speak Korean.”

“…I studied on my own.”

“Wow, what a remarkable child.”

Baek Moonhyung’s eyes widened as he stroked Jaeyi’s hair. His large hand ruffled his hair roughly, blurring Jaeyi’s vision. As Jaeyi blinked rapidly, his uncle leaned closer and whispered,

“Jaeyi, are you really okay living alone with your father?”

“…”

“I heard you video call Sujin every week. But this uncle doesn’t trust him.”

It wasn’t difficult to understand, but Jaeyi simply blinked repeatedly. Pretending not to understand was the best way to avoid answering difficult questions.

Baek Moonhyung looked at his silent nephew with an exasperated expression. He sighed deeply and took out his wallet.

“If you ever need your uncle’s help, contact me anytime. I’m always on your side, okay?”

“…”

“Anytime. In Korea, there’s nothing money can’t solve, you know?”

He slipped something among the bills. Before Jaeyi could react, a wad of cash was stuffed into his pocket. As his uncle crammed the money in, making sure it wasn’t visible from the outside, Jaeyi was briefly reminded of Sooin hyung. Despite the unpleasant situation, a warmth spread through his chest.

“Thank you.”

Jaeyi clasped his hands together in thanks, just like he did with Sooin. His uncle ruffled his hair again.

His father then emerged from the hospital room. Kicked out after less than 10 minutes, he cursed under his breath as soon as they got into the car.

“Those bastards. Lowlifes? Ha, I’ll show them just how much a lowlife can strip Baekro bare.”

The car sped towards Vecum Seoul.

Soon, other men in suits gathered in the hotel room. They brought laptops, graphs, and stacks of papers, holding meetings for hours on end. His father, sprawled on the sofa in the middle of the room, chain-smoked and drank. It was the same every day.

“So, are you saying there’s no way for me to screw over Baekro?”

“Sir, that’s not what we’re saying…”

Song Hankook vented his frustration by kicking the shins of the men in suits. Then he would suddenly clink glasses with them, putting his arms around their shoulders, calling them “brother” and “friend.” The bizarre meetings, filled with alternating shouts and laughter, continued day and night. Jaeyi couldn’t sleep properly for days, kept awake by the loud noises that erupted whenever he was about to drift off.

“I heard Sunnung is obsessed with the hotel business these days. They’re even selling their shares, just waiting for a chance to expand.”

“Really? How much of Baekro can Sunnung offer?”

It was the fourth day of his sleepless ordeal. The men, who had been talking loudly, suddenly lowered their voices. The room grew quiet, and their cryptic words echoed like a lullaby.

“It’s enough. If this house’s youngest Omega… eight years apart… If they can… there won’t be any problems…”

Jaeyi closed his eyes, clutching his aching knees. He finally felt like he could sleep soundly.

When he woke up after a long sleep, breakfast was laid out on the bedside table. Unlike the cold boxed lunches he had been eating for days, the warm bread and soup smelled delicious. As Jaeyi sat up, bleary-eyed, Song Hankook entered the room as if he’d been waiting.

[Our son is awake.]

Whenever his father smiled so kindly, he always wanted something. Jaeyi’s guard went up instinctively. Seeing his suspicious gaze, his father gave a reassuring smile.

[I was too much these past few days, wasn’t I? I was too busy with work, please understand.]

He pulled Jaeyi to the table and cut the bread for him, even spreading butter on it with a gentle hand.

[I prepared a gift to apologize. I thought our Jaeyi was bored, so I’m introducing you to a friend. He’ll be here soon.]

A new set of clothes hung on the wall behind his smiling father. They must have been dry-cleaned; the white shirt and black trousers were perfectly pressed. It seemed excessive for just meeting a friend.

Still, anything was better than being cooped up in the noisy meeting room. Jaeyi finished his breakfast in silence, put on the new clothes, and went down to the lobby. His father hummed cheerfully in the elevator. It seemed the four-day meeting had ended well.

A strange man was sitting in the lobby cafe. Reminded of Sooin hyung by the familiar setting, Jaeyi felt a flicker of excitement, but it quickly turned to dread.

“This hyung’s name is Sun Woojung, and he’s twenty-four.”

The man, eight years older than him, was silent. His father explained his age and name. Jaeyi felt very uncomfortable with the large age gap and the man’s intense stare. It felt strange that the man hadn’t spoken a word to him in the several hours they’d been together. It was the same place he had met Sooin hyung, but the atmosphere was completely different.

Still, he couldn’t show his displeasure in front of the person involved. Jaeyi silently complied with his father’s demands. He ate the course meal in silence and even finished his ice cream dessert.

His father then excused himself to take a call. As soon as he left, the silent man asked Jaeyi,

“You’re going to present as an Alpha, right?”

“…Excuse me?”

It was a bewildering question, coming from someone who hadn’t even asked about his hobbies. Jaeyi frowned, and the man spoke as if exasperated.

“Are you a Dominant Alpha? You’re not lying, are you?”

“I don’t lie.”

He snapped irritably, even though he didn’t have to answer. The man’s anxious expression disappeared, and he resumed eating his ice cream. That’s all I needed to know. The brief conversation ended there. Jaeyi wished the man would leave soon.

Fortunately, the man soon said it was time for him to go. Jaeyi was relieved when his father offered to drive him, as he had another appointment. He thought he could finally be alone.

[It would be nice if Jaeyi could ride in the back with hyung so he doesn’t get bored.]

But his father pushed him towards the car, just like he had at the hospital. It was a large, gray car he had never seen before, parked in a secluded corner of the deserted B3 level of the parking garage. The car’s interior was pitch black due to the tinted windows.

Reluctant, but wanting to get it over with quickly, Jaeyi got in. But his father turned the ignition key back after starting the car. The rumbling engine fell silent.

[I think I left something in the room. Stay here for a bit, I’ll be right back.]

He smiled and slammed the car door shut. Jaeyi heard a click, as if something had locked. He tried to open the door, and the man suddenly offered him something.

“Want some candy?”

Honestly, he wasn’t particularly interested, but he thought it would be better to have something to do to ease the awkwardness. Jaeyi took the blue candy the man offered with a dubious expression. As soon as he put the round, pill-like candy in his mouth, the man tapped a small container on his palm. Blue pills spilled out.

The man popped a handful of the candies into his mouth, chewing rapidly as if afraid someone would steal them. It was a slightly disturbing sight.

If you’re that precious about them, you shouldn’t offer them…

Jaeyi looked out the window, thinking absurdly. There was nothing much to see in the dimly lit parking garage, but he just wanted to avoid the man’s intense gaze. The candy wasn’t very tasty.

Why isn’t my father coming back?

As he started to wonder, he felt a flush of heat. He suddenly felt short of breath, and the air felt hot. That’s strange, he thought, just as the man started to undress.

“What… ugh… what are you doing…!”

The man lunged at him, panting, trying to take Jaeyi’s clothes off as well. He pressed close, rubbing against him, pleading for something. Even Jaeyi, with no experience, could sense his clear intentions.

Disgusted, Jaeyi instinctively pushed him away. The man fell to the floor of the car, trembling. He continued to plead, scratching himself and shaking his legs. His lips turned purple as if he were cold, and faint blue foam appeared at the corners of his mouth.

He might die. Alarmed, Jaeyi grabbed the door handle. But no matter how hard he pulled, the door wouldn’t open. He pulled, pushed, and banged on the door, but it remained firmly shut.

I’m trapped. Panic surged through him as the realization hit. He was trapped in a dark, confined space with a man who was clearly not in his right mind and seemed on the verge of collapse. Moreover, Jaeyi’s own body was changing. He felt nauseous, and an unwanted heat pooled in his lower abdomen.

The man, trembling and unable to control himself, kept lunging at Jaeyi. Even though he was disgusted, Jaeyi couldn’t push him away forcefully, afraid of hurting him. He just kept shaking the door handle and pleading. Help me, someone, please. I’m trapped. He yelled indiscriminately, not even knowing what language he was speaking.

But his strength was fading. The relentless heat and his ragged breathing blurred his vision. His throat was sore from screaming. The aftertaste of the blue candy was now bitter and strange.

This was all planned.

Finally exhausted, Jaeyi leaned his head against the window. He wanted to collapse and sleep. His hand, which had been gripping the handle so tightly that his palm was raw, slipped.

A light flashed in the distance.

Someone was shining a light from outside. A silhouette flickered beyond the blinding white light. The dark figure seemed to be shouting something, but Jaeyi closed his eyes. He didn’t have the strength to hold on any longer.

When he regained consciousness, he was in a hospital. The surroundings were noisy, as if he was in the emergency room, and a thin curtain was drawn around his bed. He stared blankly at the ceiling for a while before sitting up abruptly and rummaging through his clothes, which were piled on a nearby chair. His vision swam, but he didn’t have time to care.

The wad of cash was still in his disheveled clothes. He unfolded it hastily, and a small, black card fell out. It was a business card with only a number and hyphens on it.

Suddenly, the curtain was pulled open. Startled, Jaeyi quickly hid the card.

“Are you feeling alright…? Oh…”

The nurse, who had entered pushing a cart, looked surprised to see the scattered bills. She glanced around and quickly drew the curtain closed again. Just like Sooin hyung had done before, she quickly gathered the bills, telling him he shouldn’t leave money lying around like that.

Jaeyi borrowed her phone. He had never called anyone in Korea before, but he instinctively knew the number on the card belonged to his uncle. His uncle answered before the third ring.

“It’s Jaeyi.”

He had so much to say, but the words wouldn’t come. He just sobbed, repeating the name of the hospital written on the nurse’s uniform. He desperately wanted to escape this recurring nightmare.

The nurse comforted him and handed him a glass of water before leaving. Thanks to her, Jaeyi was able to compose himself somewhat before his father returned.

[You’re awake. You almost had a big accident, but thankfully someone found you.]

Song Hankook put on a show of concern, stroking Jaeyi’s hair. Jaeyi jerked his head away and wiped his eyes.

“You did this.”

[…Jaeyi, I know you were surprised by your first rut, but calm down.]

“What happened to that hyung? He looked like he was about to die because of the drugs you gave him…”

“Song Jaeyi!”

His father rarely called him by his full name unless he was truly angry. Jaeyi instinctively fell silent at his shout. He glared at his father, and Song Hankook sighed deeply.

[Do you know what call I just took? It was your mother, crying, saying your grandfather is in critical condition. She was so upset I couldn’t even tell her you were in the hospital.]

“…”

[Your mother is already going through a difficult time, do you really have to burden her with such nonsense? Some unfortunate accident happened between you and that man… and drugs?!]

His father’s tactics were always the same. He always made Jaeyi out to be the bad guy. He always used his mother as a hostage to corner him, then comforted him with sweet words later.

He’s using the same trick again. Just as he thought this, he heard someone panting beyond the curtain, asking, “Is there a patient here named Song Jaeyi?” It was a deep, low voice.

Jaeyi closed his eyes tightly. He knew he was being fooled again, but there was nothing he could do.

[I won’t tell. But leave right now.]

[What? Didn’t you hear me? Your grandfather is in critical condition.]

He knew. He knew how important this opportunity was to his father, who dreamt of rejoining the Baekro Group. That’s why Jaeyi couldn’t give up.

[Don’t even think about seeing Mother or Grandfather again, just leave. Or I’ll tell them everything.]

As he spoke in a low voice, the curtain opened. Baek Moonhyung, who had rushed over despite his father’s supposed critical condition, was panting. He glared at Song Hankook and crouched in front of Jaeyi.

“Jaeyi, what happened?”

At his question, Jaeyi looked at his father. Song Hankook, standing nervously in the corner, bit his lip. He muttered, his expression contorted as if about to curse,

[Alright, I’ll do as you say…]

“What are you saying?” Baek Moonhyung shouted. Song Hankook fled from behind the curtain, making the cowardly excuse of going to pay the bill. Finally, Jaeyi was alone with Baek Moonhyung.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know Grandfather was… in that condition… I called you.”

“Why are you apologizing? It’s okay, your uncle told you to call anytime, right? Your grandfather is doing better now.”

“…Yes.”

“So, what happened?”

What would happen if I told him everything? If he confessed that he had never wanted to live with his father, that he had often been locked in the closet…

[Your mother is already going through a difficult time, do you really have to burden her with such nonsense?]

There was no path that wouldn’t hurt everyone. Resigned, Jaeyi closed his mouth and forced a smile.

“…I made a mistake. Is the first rut always this… messy?”

Baek Moonhyung’s expression was unreadable at his weak explanation. Not wanting to see disappointment in his uncle’s face, which resembled his mother’s, Jaeyi lowered his head.

❤︎₊ ⊹

It was on the flight back to Canada that Jaeyi realized he had developed a trauma. Song Hankook, while dismissing it as a strange delusion, searched frantically for a cure. The reason? The future heir of Baekro couldn’t be incapacitated by cars and elevators.

Gradual exposure therapy was not easy. It required him to confront his fears head-on, day after day. He had to fight for years.

Thanks to his persistent efforts, Jaeyi regained much of what he had lost. He could tolerate windowless spaces for a short time if it was during the day, and he became accustomed to elevators and cars.

But he still struggled with basements and dark spaces. Movie theaters and airplanes were difficult to endure without tranquilizers, and the sudden smell of an unfamiliar Omega’s pheromones made him nauseous. Some memories, like scars, could not be erased, no matter how hard he tried.

“How can the color be exactly the same?”

Jaeyi shook the pills, another reminder of his scars. Three pills remained in the container after he had taken two and discarded the rest. The rattling blue pills were the same color as the candy he had eaten when he was sixteen.

Like dark, enclosed spaces, the blue spheres triggered unpleasant memories. Jaeyi took a deep breath and closed his eyes, sitting in the lobby cafe of Vecum Seoul.

It’s okay, it’ll all be over today.

As he tried to calm himself, Choi Jooyoung’s voice crackled through the earpiece he was wearing.

— Kim Sooin asked me to tell you he misses you. Did I tell you that? Oh, but he specifically said he wouldn’t send any crazy messages like this…

His grumbling voice was too loud. Can’t he lower the volume? Jaeyi frowned and fiddled with the earpiece.

“…Message?”

— Oh, you know, a message? A scorpion? Ugh, whatever! Anyway, he’s waiting near Vecum too. He wants to see you right away.

“It’s dangerous near there.”

— I told him that too. But thanks to your uncle’s support, we have plenty of equipment and manpower. We have private security and undercover police here, so… you should worry about yourself.

Choi Jooyoung’s initially polite tone was becoming increasingly rough. Jaeyi clicked his tongue disapprovingly, but he was actually comforted by his words.

Despite his worries about the danger, the thought of Kim Sooin being somewhere nearby was comforting. The remaining tasks didn’t seem so daunting anymore; he just wanted to get them over with quickly. His desire to see Sooin again pushed aside all other distractions. He found himself anxiously awaiting his father’s call, something he had never done before.