SSL 50

Time passed until late in the afternoon without any particular thoughts or work. He had considered going out to the living room and at least searching for jobs on the computer, but looking at the monitor made him feel sick in less than ten minutes. He forced himself to keep moving the mouse, but he really felt like he was going to throw up, so he had to return to his room.

Just as he was curled up in his blankets, trying to settle his stomach, the doorbell rang.

“Who is it?”

Eunseo ran out. After a moment’s hesitation, it seemed she opened the door. A familiar voice was heard.

“Hello.”

“Oh…? Hello.”

“I’m sorry. I was really sorry about that time. This is… well, it’s not much of an apology.”

“…”

There was a rustling sound. As if a plastic bag was handed over and received. Eunseo spoke again.

“No, well. I heard from Dad, so… It’s okay. Are you here to see my oppa?”

“Yeah. The thing is… I thought it would be best to apologize in person. Is Doyoon here?”

“Yes. He’s still not feeling well, so he’s resting in his room. Just a moment.”

Footsteps. Eunseo came up to the room and knocked.

“Oppa, Jaehyun oppa is here. He says he wants to talk.”

Doyoon shot up from his spot.

Dizziness immediately swept under his feet. While Doyoon was bracing himself on his knees, standing hunched over, the door opened. Jaehyun stood at the threshold and gave Doyoon a slight wave with one hand.

“Hey.”

“…”

“Then you two can talk.”

Eunseo turned away. Without closing the door. When Jaehyun tried to close the door, she whipped her head around and spoke in an anxious tone.

“Can’t you leave the door open?”

“…It’s just that I want to talk with just the two of us.”

“I know. But what if I hear loud noises. I…”

“It’s okay, Eunseo.”

Doyoon, who had been watching the situation, cut in.

“We’ll talk with the door closed.”

“…All right.”

Eunseo retreated with a frown. Jaehyun said, “Thanks,” to Eunseo and closed the door.

The room was quiet. Jaehyun looked at Doyoon’s face, smiled, and then pointed to the blankets and said.

“Sit down, Doyoon. You look like you’re struggling.”

As he finished speaking, Jaehyun himself naturally plopped down on the vinyl floor in front of the mattress.

“…”

He said he came to apologize. Doyoon swallowed dryly.

Jaehyun was here now to apologize for something he hadn’t even done. I’m sorry. He was so sorry he didn’t know what to do with himself, but this was a good opportunity. Let’s quickly confess and promise to pay him back. Since it’s not your fault at all, I’ll somehow make sure to repay the money. In any case, Doyoon first sat down as Jaehyun told him to. He sat cross-legged on the mattress, facing Jaehyun.

He couldn’t bring himself to look directly at his face, and as his gaze fixed on Jaehyun’s chest, Doyoon suddenly realized. He smells like cigarettes.

There was a faint smell of cigarettes on Jaehyun. It was a smell of similar intensity to what used to waft from his father’s clothes in the days when he would come in after smoking one on the balcony. But there was no way Jaehyun would smoke. A kid who studies so well, there’s no way.

His stomach started churning again. It seemed to be because he had smelled the scent of cigarettes in his sensitive state. Jaehyun was staring intently at Doyoon before he began to speak.

“Doyoon…”

“I’ll pay you back.”

The out-of-context phrase just popped out. Jaehyun’s eyes widened slightly, and Doyoon, his face turning bright red, gathered his words and spoke again.

“I mean… I know you paid the hospital bill. I’ll pay you back. It’s not your fault. The truth is, I didn’t just faint while walking…”

“I know.”

Jaehyun cut in gently.

“You got hit trying to save Park Kanghyuk.”

“…”

Doyoon shut his mouth.

How did he know? As Doyoon stared at him, Jaehyun began to speak again.

“Doyoon. Are you gay?”

“Huh?”

“Do you like Park Kanghyuk?”

“Wh-what?”

“It would make sense if you liked him. In fact, wasn’t the reason you were dragged around in middle school because you liked him so much? Even when he did mean things to you, you liked him so much you couldn’t leave his side.”

“No, that’s not it.”

Doyoon waved his hands. It was a question he hadn’t anticipated in the slightest.

“It’s not like that. Um… not at all.”

“Really? It’s really not?”

“Not at all. I never even thought of it.”

“I see.”

Jaehyun nodded his head.

“Right. So you risked your life like that for a bastard you don’t even like. And he’s a guy who beat and tormented you to death for years, but you rushed in to protect a guy like that. And got your ass kicked and nearly died in the process.”

A light laugh.

“You’re a complete psycho.”

“…”

“If I leave you be, you’ll just keep living like that. Right? Well, next time you might actually die. Yes or no.”

“…”

“Yes or no, answer me.”

“…Yes.”

“So, Doyoon.”

Jaehyun suddenly changed the subject.

“Did the flyer part-time job go well that day?”

“Uh… no… It didn’t go well.”

“Right. Of course you couldn’t have done it properly. You don’t know how to do anything.”

His tone continued as if he were giving advice.

“If you really want to leave home, there’s something much better.”

“Huh?”

“Even though you don’t know how to do a single thing, your face is marketable enough. So you should use what you have. Find a suitable chat room on the internet and post an ad. Or you can send private messages.”

“…?”

“Post a picture in a chat room and say, I’m a first-year in high school, a minor, and I ran away from home. I’ll do anything if you just let me stay for one night. Then a few perverts will show up to take you in. If you talk it out right, you might be able to entrust your body to them for a few months, not just one night.”

As Doyoon’s eyes went wide, Jaehyun nodded to himself and continued his explanation.

“They’ll say they’ll keep a kid they can do whatever they want with. Or they might sell you off to a professional agency.”

“A professional agency…?”

“Yeah. An agency that’s good at handling kids like you. Of course, people like that will treat you very roughly. But who cares. You’ll just take it when they hit you, do whatever they tell you to, and you won’t have any complaints no matter what kind of things they do to you. Because you’ll think, someone like me deserves to be treated this way. Yes or no.”

“…”

“Yes or no.”

“Yeah… you’re right.”

“It’s the perfect job for you.”

A breathy laugh.

“In your world, everyone’s a son of a bitch anyway. Other kinds of people can’t exist. Because, even if they did, you’d push them away. You’d erase them from your world. Because they don’t fit your formula.”

His voice grows lower. The speed of his words became faster and faster.

“Thanks to that, there will always, always be only sons of bitches left around you. Sons of bitches who only torment and use you. And you’ll live your life kowtowing to those sons of bitches. You’d even willingly offer up your life.”

“…”

“How about it. Want my help?”

Jaehyun asked, looking Doyoon straight in the eyes.

“Should I tell you where to sign up, which chat rooms to enter?”

“I’m not going to get help from you anymore. We’re not friends.”

“Yeah, I know. But you have to pay me back.”

A light, fresh smile.

“The hospital bill. It wasn’t my fault, but I ended up paying it because of you. So you have to pay me back.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know. I’ll pay that back.”

“Then pay me back quickly. I’m in a hurry, too. It’s not like I’m offering to do it for free. You have to give me more money for the help I give you.”

“…”

Meeting Jaehyun’s eyes, Doyoon hesitated. He was bothered by the idea of receiving Jaehyun’s help again, and the content of the work was a little scary. Even though he couldn’t imagine it in detail, he could guess the general direction.

But it definitely seemed like a good opportunity. He could leave home quickly, and he could pay Jaehyun back. Besides, Jaehyun said he was in a hurry for the money. He might be in a big hurry. That must be why he came all this way to arrange a job and offer help.

Okay. Let’s do it. And for Jaehyun, I’ll give him even more money for his help. Doyoon soon nodded and answered.

“Help me.”

“You will?”

“Yeah. Please…”

Jaehyun shot up from his seat.

In an instant, he strode forward. He moved his hand. I’m going to get hit, the intuition flashed through his mind.

This time it’s for real. Judging from his posture, it looked like he was going to get slapped. Doyoon instinctively flinched and squeezed his eyes shut.