SURE 8

Following Shin Taeyoon’s directions, I went through three traffic signals and turned into an alley. As expected of an area dense with office workers, I passed a district of commercial buildings lined with restaurants suitable for company dinners, and then a neighborhood of studio apartments appeared. I slowed down.

“Make a left up ahead, and if you go a little further, you’ll see a place called Arirang.”

Even if I had turned on the navigation, I would have probably gotten lost once or twice in an alley like this, but his directions were seamless. It seemed he wasn’t lying about it being close, as a restaurant with an exterior reminiscent of a traditional tiled-roof house appeared after just a five-minute drive. The parked cars were all luxury sedans, and unlike the other side of the street, which was bustling with office workers, this area was very quiet. How did he know about a place like this and make a reservation? I parked and got out.

“Shall we go in?”

“Yes.”

As I passed through the main gate, a well-tended landscape caught my eye. There was a lawn and a stone path, with a small water wheel turning in the middle. Don’t people usually come to places like this to close important deals, not just for a simple meal?

The restaurant was composed entirely of private rooms, and an employee wearing a modified hanbok as a uniform confirmed the reservation name and guided us. Dongbaek Room No. 3. When I opened the sliding door covered with traditional paper, the fragrant scent of old wood wafted from inside.

It was suspicious in many ways, but I sat down for the time being. Shin Taeyoon opened the menu and held it out to me.

“I know what you’re suspicious about, but it’s not a strange place. It’s just a Korean set-course restaurant, and it’s generally decent, so I’ve never heard any bad reviews.”

Ah, was I that obvious?

“I thought maybe there was an issue we needed to discuss separately.”

“Team Leader Im and Assistant Manager Park will handle the discussion, right? We just have to eat a delicious meal and give our confirmation later. Which do you prefer, Mr. CEO, fish or meat?”

“I’m fine with either. Please order whichever course you’d like, Team Leader Shin.”

Shin Taeyoon pressed the call bell, and when an employee knocked and entered, he handed them the menu and ordered.

“Two Maehwa courses.”

“We will prepare the tea first.”

The sliding door closed. Shin Taeyoon glanced at his phone for a moment, then placed it face down. This seemed to be a sign that he would now focus on me, so I also placed my phone on the chair next to me. He smiled as if satisfied.

“I didn’t expect you to contact me so early, Mr. CEO.”

“Wasn’t it urgent? It seemed like a necessary item.”

“No, I have plenty of spare pads in the office. And if I don’t have one, I can just buy one.”

The nuance of his words was irritating. As if the tablet PC was just a means, and I was the end. Suddenly, this felt less like a meal with a business associate and more like a blind date. This was not a good sign. A chilling signal, honed by countless experiences, was ringing through my entire body.

“Then why did you press me for it that night?”

The reason I had come all this way was because of Shin Taeyoon’s whisper that Friday night, which had visited and left like a dying wind. Shin Taeyoon looked me over, just as he had that night.

“It was because I wanted to see you quickly, wasn’t it?”

“What are you…”

“Is a reason necessary? At that moment, there was nothing else I wanted to do.”

Attraction is largely divided into three types. Feeling sexual desire for the opposite sex, the subtle glances exchanged between people of the same sex—that is, those with the same sexual orientation—and finally, the basic human desire to get to know someone as a person.

Unlike messages filled with flirtation, Shin Taeyoon’s straightforward attitude was confusing. No matter how perceptive I was, there was no way he could have figured out that I was gay. Even Kim Jinwoo, who could distinguish whether a man was straight or gay within five seconds of meeting him, had said, ‘You really don’t give off that vibe at all.’ In fact, I had never once worried about being outed.

What did Shin Taeyoon mean by that? Even if it were a come-on, it wasn’t like I would be swayed.

“Do you always come on to people like that?”

I asked matter-of-factly. I couldn’t help it if he felt it was rude. If I had wanted to be friendly, I would have been so from our meeting. Far from being offended by the expression ‘come on to,’ Shin Taeyoon stared at my hand holding the teacup with a face that was on the verge of a smile.

“Do I seem that way?”

I drank the tea, which had been warmed to a pleasant temperature.

“From what you’re saying now, you do. It would have been nice if you had shown this gentle attitude to Team Leader Im as well.”

If he had, Team Leader Im wouldn’t have gotten angry. The contract would have proceeded smoothly.

“Why should I be kind to someone I’ll only be involved with for a short time? Especially in a business relationship.”

The ensuing question held no hint of displeasure. Rather, Shin Taeyoon delved into the topic as if he genuinely didn’t understand. The look of interest in his eyes was completely different from the one I had seen at night.

“Am I not someone you’ve met through work?”

“Strictly speaking, our first encounter was as a business owner and a customer, wasn’t it?”

He was bringing up that day again, when I got told off for staring at him while he was struggling with the spicy food at the snack bar. The salad that came as an appetizer remained untouched, the dressing seeping into the vegetables.

“I sincerely apologize for staring at you unintentionally that day.”

I beat him to the punch before he could drag it out any further. Shin Taeyoon shook his head.

“No, that’s not what I mean.”

“Then…”

With a knock, the main course was served. I looked around at the food that filled the table. I want to take a picture. If it tastes good, I should bring someone here next time and take pictures comfortably. It seems difficult to do so in this atmosphere.

Shin Taeyoon tore open the packaged utensils, saying, “Please eat.”

“You don’t seem to know yourself very well, Mr. CEO, but the reason I changed my mind after opposing JW Foods was thanks to you. You weren’t blunt at all. Whether it’s capitalism or whatever, lowering yourself in front of others is a very difficult thing to do. It’s different from humility.”

“……”

“So I judged that if I worked with this company, I wouldn’t have to deal with any major hassles.”

“Is this a compliment?”

“Does it sound like an insult? It shouldn’t. It’s a compliment I gave you to help you relax in front of me.”

Was I nervous? I looked around at the beautifully plated dishes and met Shin Taeyoon’s eyes. He was waiting for me to start eating first.

As he wished, I picked up my chopsticks and took a piece of fried eggplant. It was because I felt I wouldn’t be able to stand it if this atmosphere continued, even if he called it a compliment. I hadn’t looked at the menu, so I didn’t know how much the course cost, but seeing as it included high-end fish species instead of the common flatfish or salmon among the aged raw fish options, it must be very expensive considering the local land prices. Judging by the atmosphere and the menu, it was indeed a good restaurant for entertaining clients.

The meal continued in silence. I’m a fast eater. It had become a habit to quickly mix something up and gobble it down whenever I had a spare moment while running my business, so during meals, I was busy silently swallowing food down my throat. I used to suffer from indigestion all the time back then…. It’s gotten better these days, but I still eat faster than others.

“You eat incredibly fast, don’t you? But you eat so quickly without making a single sound. Will your stomach be alright?”

When I had completely finished my pot of rice, Shin Taeyoon had only finished half of his. It was understandable that he would find it strange. Or perhaps he saw it as my determination to finish my meal quickly and leave because I was uncomfortable in this situation.

I folded the napkin I had used to wipe my mouth neatly and hid it from view.

“It’s not because I’m uncomfortable here, but my eating speed is fast because of a habit from my business days. Please don’t mind me and eat slowly.”

“So you’re the type who doesn’t talk while eating.”

“I suppose so. That’s a habit, too.”

“I’ve learned one thing.”

“What is that?”

“Shall we meet for dinner next time? French cuisine would be nice. I’ll ask them to serve the food very slowly. I made this reservation in a hurry today, so it’s a bit, unsatisfying in many ways.”

Even if I couldn’t figure out his intentions, there was one thing I knew for sure. My confused mind had reached a certain level of understanding. Why Shin Taeyoon had asked me to eat with him, why he was trying to put me at ease, why he was trying to promise a next time.

“Team Leader Shin.”

“Yes?”

I wouldn’t say I’ve dated few men. At my age, I’ve dated my fair share. Among them were some with bad personalities, and some who were as kind as angels. And I’m not so dull that I can’t recognize the well-intentioned feelings a new person shows towards me.

I looked at the table. What solidified the direction of the confusion I felt from Shin Taeyoon’s words into certainty were the plates pushed towards my side.

“Let me ask you outright. What is your purpose in doing this to me?”

I am someone who doesn’t show a hint of joy even when people praise my business for doing well. I have never been conceited for a single moment. Because if you’re satisfied with the present, you end up making mistakes. I was careful about everything. Misfortune spreads faster the moment you become complacent.

Dating was no different. Even with Yoon Sungjoon, who is now completely out of the picture, I started the relationship seriously and cautiously at first. One step at a time, slowly.

“What if I’m interested in CEO Lee Jungwoon?”

But with just a few words, Shin Taeyoon was shattering my past and present, which I had engraved like a creed.

“Is that the kind of interest I’m assuming it is?”

He put down his teacup, pushed the fruit plate that came for dessert towards me again, and smiled. He nodded his head as if to say he understood the meaning of my question perfectly.

“Yes. Probably?”

A hollow laugh escaped me. If we were on the same page, there was nothing more to discuss. I stood up and picked up the bill. Leaving aside whether Shin Taeyoon’s looks were my type, I was exhausted. I wanted to escape this situation somehow and was about to leave when the real point of the matter followed me from behind.

“There’s only one kind of interest one can have in a young and capable CEO of a small to medium-sized enterprise, isn’t there?”

…Wait a minute. What did he say?

“While we’re on the subject, let me also ask you outright. Do you plan on running that company for a long time?”

Shin Taeyoon was still sitting. A path in a completely different direction from moments ago was about to open up. The way he looked at me was so business-like that it was impossible to think he was the same person who had been showering me with goodwill throughout the meal.

I was wrong.

After work, I got a call from my aunt asking me to have dinner, so I went to the main store to help with closing. The plates and utensils could be run through the large dishwasher, but the bigger items like the fish cake broth container and the tteokbokki pan had to be washed by hand, so I took off my jacket and put on rubber gloves. My necktie kept getting in the way, so I kept tossing it back over my shoulder until I finally took it off. My aunt, who had returned from cleaning the restaurant, slapped my back as I was reaching deep into the container, scrubbing every corner with detergent.

“Are you taking out your stress on the dishes? Your clothes are all wet.”

Only then did I notice that not just my rubber gloves, but my shirt was also soaked. My face felt hot from bending over for so long.

“Did someone bother you?”

my aunt asks after putting the cleaning rag back in its place. It was a reassuring question, like one from a neighborhood protector who stands up for the weak. With her long experience in business, my aunt has an extraordinary eye for people, so she probably grasped my state and asked. I knew, but I shook my head. Even if someone was bothering me, I didn’t feel the need to burden my aunt with my problems.

“Tsk.”

My aunt clicked her tongue, took the hose from me, and aimed the stream of water. I didn’t say a word until I had placed the cleanly rinsed broth container back in its place and started washing the tteokbokki pan, which I had pre-soaked in hot water and detergent. It was as if my complicated mind had lost its ability to form words.

Nothing in this world is forever.

In my second year of high school, I ran away from home after realizing I had feelings for a guy on the sports team in my class that were more than just friendship. Because something was wrong. It was hard to accept the fact that my sexual identity was just a hair off from others, so I didn’t go to school and wandered aimlessly along the Han River bank for two days. I was oblivious to the fact that my parents were looking for me, making announcements at the management office, searching on foot, and even filing a missing person report on the second day.

I was terrified by the reality of liking the same sex, but I remember that the desire to see him was even stronger. Then again, the thought of his disgusted gaze would quickly render me powerless, my eyes fixed on the ground. A naive boy’s first love was overly dramatic and yet pathetic.

However, this beautiful and childish, but actually quite fierce, emotion did not last long, contrary to my resolve. This was because he transferred to a high school specializing in basketball when he became a third-year and focused on the college entrance exam, causing my feelings to naturally fade. The emotions I had sorted out while walking along the Han River for two whole days were swept away by the currents of life, faster than my determination.

In college, I had my first relationship. He was a business major who was up to my shoulder in height and wore round glasses. We met at a secret on-campus LGBTQ+ club, and as we had a simple relationship and shared clumsy skinship, I thought to myself as I caressed his sweat-dampened skin and kissed him.

I don’t know if we’re sleeping together because we’re in love, or just because the time is right.

As I accepted his arms pulling my body closer, his breath coming in heated gasps, I thought about the topic of the report I had to finish that day. Unlike my mind, after I focused on the act, all that remained was a profane feeling.