TDAA Ch 55

Early in the morning, before the group left Meric territory, Eorzen headed alone into the depths of the garden as soon as the meeting ended. The plans for the future had been settled to some extent, and now it was time to confirm the matter that had been weighing on his mind. Namely, the message from the Dragon Lands he had been waiting for so long.

“…….”

Eorzen strode unhesitatingly through the snow-covered garden and into a white marble gazebo nestled among dense evergreen trees. Hiding in its shadow, Eorzen took a piece of paper from his breast pocket.

For some reason, it had taken quite a while for the reply to arrive. Eorzen found that fact deeply ominous.

As he unfolded the letter, which was a thin piece of paper folded many times, Eorzen slowly inhaled the cold winter air. The sound of the paper unfolding felt like a knife slicing through his heart. The true nature of the ominous premonition he had long harbored was about to be revealed. Before unfolding the last crease, he recalled what Siol had said when he had collapsed with a fever.

‘If you tell me not to, Lord Eorzen, I….’

Siol had sniffled sorrowfully, as if he were a being who could never disobey a command.

His father was a pathetic dragon, but still an ancient dragon who had lived for a long time. He had also written to his mother, so surely she would have written some useful advice, if only out of being unable to withstand the scrutiny.

As he opened the letter, the first handwriting that caught his eye was his mother’s.

[I had worried that winter might never end, but spring is bound to come.

All my worries until now melt away like snow.

Are you well? I was very sad that we couldn’t properly keep in touch for the past few years.

But in the end, news has reached me, and you have shared such good tidings, so there is no reason to reprimand you.

When are you planning to visit the Dragon Lands? We are building a house for you and your mate to stay in, so any time is fine.]

Eorzen smiled and shook his head.

His mother was originally of a calm and relaxed disposition, but it seemed she couldn’t cast aside her eagerness this time. He had only just told her he had met his mate, and she was already building a house in the Dragon Lands. They were in a relationship where they hadn’t even promised to be together for life yet.

It wasn’t that he didn’t understand. He was a dragon who had gone an excessively long time without meeting his mate compared to others, and his mother had been heartbroken, as if it were her fault. Normally, dragons would travel to meet their mates and then return home repeatedly, but the reason Eorzen had settled in the Beastmen’s lands was because of that. It was difficult to bear his mother’s sorrowful gaze.

Still, there was nothing wrong with having a house in the Dragon Lands, so he decided to leave it for now. If Siol didn’t want to live in the Dragon Lands, they could use it as a villa to stay in whenever they went on trips.

He put off replying and flipped past his mother’s letter to the end. The handwriting changed, so he knew at a glance that the next page was his father’s letter. Unlike with his mother, to whom he had only announced the news of finding his mate, he had sent his father questions about the things he had done and why Siol had been sniffling. The reply was fittingly harsh.

[What in the world have you done? What did you do to your mate? You foolish, stupid thing.

After all my teachings, how could you do something so idiotic? I simply cannot understand.

If your dream was to live as a bachelor for the rest of your life, it would have been better to just hole yourself up in the sea. Or you could have spent your days soaking in a volcanic lava. Then, even if you went on a rampage, you wouldn’t bother anyone, how great is that? It’s not too late now. If you don’t have the confidence to handle the aftermath, do so now.

It’s a secret from your mother that I said this. Do you understand?]

Of course, Eorzen had not the slightest intention of doing so. It was absolutely impossible to leave Siol and go live holed up somewhere nobody was. Perhaps it might have been possible before meeting Siol. If about two hundred years had passed without meeting Siol, he might have given up on everything, gone into a cave like that, curled up, and just breathed like a stone.

But he had already met his mate, and his mind was completely filled with thoughts of his mate. He felt like he would suffocate and die if he couldn’t see him for even a day, so how could he possibly do such a thing?

[Anyway, yes. It’s certain that something terrible has happened to you. It’s all your fault. Didn’t I tell you time and time again? A dragon’s mate definitely exists and will appear before you one day. No matter if your mate borrowed the body of a homunculus, if you had just kept your wits about you, would you have failed to recognize them?]

Eorzen clenched his teeth at the cold reprimand. It wasn’t wrong. No matter if it was a homunculus body, if he had carefully watched by his side for a day, he might have been able to realize that he was his mate. But at that time, Eorzen, who had nearly given up hope for a mate and was filled with disappointment, had acted rashly.

He had crushed Siol’s homunculus to death and cast a curse.

A curse to never find a partner, to forever decline, and to forever be with death.

[To think you would cast a curse to never find a partner, of all things. Isn’t that just an expression of your inferiority complex?]

Eorzen briefly put down the letter and rubbed his dry face. His father’s rebukes were not wrong in the slightest, which made them gouge his heart even more. At that time, Eorzen had been exhausted from a long loneliness. The fact that he was the only one who hadn’t met his mate while everyone else did had pushed him into terrible agony, and perhaps he had even taken it out on him. Because he thought there was a terrible enemy before him on whom it was okay to do so.

That lashing out had come back to Eorzen as utter despair.

[And yet that boy likes you? His personality is quite peculiar. How could he, after being treated like that? No, I’ve crossed a line here. I’ll apologize, so this is a secret from your mother.]

Eorzen, who had been frowning at the criticism of his mate, clicked his tongue at the ensuing apology. The admonition not to tell his mother, which came every time he went too far, was utterly ridiculous. And yet, the fact that he hadn’t bothered to rewrite the letter was just like his father. He probably didn’t want to spend even that much more time on Eorzen.

Though they hadn’t seen each other for quite a long time, his father was likely still pretending to be weak in front of his mother, still being held in her arms, shedding pitiful tears, and enjoying his happiness.

It had been an endlessly irritating sight when he was young, but now, thinking about it, he was just envious.

Hadn’t they said his father and mother were a good example? He finally understood now. His parents were a special case among good examples. The fact that his father pretended to be delicate for his mother was actually no big deal. All dragons make that much effort. The key reason his parents could be a good example was that his mother’s wishes were not that complicated. Just destroy my home country, was all she asked, his mother had said with her own mouth.

And when his father fulfilled it, she was satisfied, opened her arms, and happily embraced the dragon.

[To be honest, as for the part where it seems the curse and the spell have overlapped and become strange, I myself cannot deduce what has happened. What kind of spell the boy cast on himself, and in what way your curse overlapped with it, there are too many variables to be certain.

So, I shall teach you the correct approach so that you may figure it out for yourself. Human magic is merely following established laws, but dragon magic, unlike that, is closer to subjugating magic power.

Originally, that reincarnated child would have lived a lonely life due to the curse of never finding a partner, would have had a frail body due to the curse of forever declining and would have frequently fallen ill, and would have been born with the fate of always trembling in fear of death due to the curse of forever being with death, living a life that was not truly living.]

Eorzen unknowingly froze solid as he read the following lines.

[Try to recall if that boy has ever trembled and feared death in the past. The answer will be in there.]

Not long after bringing Sizool to the castle, the memory of Sizool stepping back when told to hold his hand, then clutching his heart and collapsing, flashed through Eorzen’s mind like lightning. That day, hadn’t the child almost died?

The image of Siol holed up in Burdril’s lab, begging not to be made to come out; the image of Siol trembling yet doing as he was told when given a dagger and told to do what he had intended; the image of Siol, startled and trembling when he got angry, yet coming obediently when told to come here; the image of Siol collapsing and gasping for breath in Marsiga’s basement when he was told to come here but was pushed further away by the shadow—they all came to mind one after another.

Siol was afraid of Eorzen’s commands, and he almost died every time he couldn’t follow them.

Thump.

Eorzen stared down at his empty hand with a pale face. He could feel Siol’s heartbeat within it.

It was the beat that had let him feel that his mate was alive, was happy, was in love with him.

When Eorzen drew near and met his eyes, Siol would blush as if pleased. At those times, Siol’s heart would beat wildly. When he whispered sweet words, when he asked him to return together, when they spent time together, and even when he was staring at the ring by himself. Siol’s heart would beat, thump-thump, and just feeling that beat made him feel as if he were right there with Siol.

To Eorzen, this pulse was proof that gave him confidence in the fact that Siol loved him. So, even when he was by Siol’s side, he would often feel this beat and revel in his happiness.

Without knowing that this curse was a leash that was tightening and pulling at Siol’s heart.

Thump.

Eorzen unknowingly moved his left hand far away from his body.

A vile sense of disgust pierced through him.

When his magic power had returned after Siol had left far away and the curse had also revived, he wanted to end the life of the foolish dragon who had rejoiced at the heartbeat of his mate held in his hand. Dull and stupid, not knowing what the phenomenon meant, only finding the thumping heartbeat so lovely that he was steeped in joy—himself.

No, did he really not know? How could he not have known that Siol, with his heart being held, could be in pain? How could he have felt the heart in his hand and not remembered Siol clutching his chest and collapsing? He should have thought. He should have thought, but he was just so happy about the pulse he could feel amidst the reality of having to send Siol away that….

“Foolish and utterly disgusting….”

His confusion and shock began to violently shake the surrounding magic power. Waves of magic power shot out from Eorzen’s body, spreading out in all directions. It was a phenomenon akin to a small magical explosion. The marble gazebo cracked and then floated in the air in fragmented pieces. Just as the stone fragments were about to burst outwards, Eorzen clenched his teeth and pulled his hand back. Simultaneously, the fragmented gazebo returned to its original position and was restored to its unbroken state.

The magic power still churned, but now it only swirled inside Eorzen’s body.

His insides were in turmoil, but it didn’t matter. He couldn’t make a scene and wake Siol, who would be sleeping. He deserved to be punished anyway. He had to pay the price for the terrible thing he had done to Siol. In fact, he felt like throwing himself among monsters right this instant. Maybe he would feel a little better if his whole body were horribly mangled. No, how could he feel better through such self-abuse?

He didn’t have the right to relieve his guilt. The only one who could pass judgment on him was Siol.

Eorzen clutched his own neck with his right hand. He couldn’t breathe. Nausea rose, and he couldn’t stand properly. He gasped and collapsed to the floor.

“Siol, you….”

Eorzen whispered to the slowly beating heart in his hand.

As he had realized in the past, Siol was not a dragon. He was not a being who clung to a single mate like a dragon, but a human or a Beastman who changed partners several times to find someone to marry. In fact, didn’t they even get something called a divorce if problems arose after marriage?

How could Siol, a member of a species whose heart changes so easily and moves on to new partners, confess that he wanted to return to him after everything was resolved, even after enduring such terrible things?

Siol should have abandoned Eorzen. He should have despised the being who had driven him to death, and as if that weren’t enough, had seized and shaken his heart whenever he disobeyed a command, forcing him to obey. And to ensure he could never do such a thing again, he should have crushed him to death horribly. If Siol couldn’t do it, then his mate, Eorzen, should have.

Therefore, Eorzen had to protect Siol from himself.

Thump, thump, thump, thump.

Feeling the slowly beating heart in his palm, Eorzen clenched his teeth hard.

With a trembling hand, Eorzen tried to let go of Siol’s heart. But his hand, already entangled in the mangled curse, could not be easily released even by his own will. To undo this curse, he would have to spend time performing a counter-spell.

And disgustingly, he didn’t actually want to let go.

He wanted to keep feeling Siol’s heart.

He wanted to feel that Siol’s heart was beating, that he was alive, that he was resting comfortably, lost in a deep sleep.

“How can you still… me.”

Eorzen stared blankly at his own hand, lost in a daze.

He wanted to cut off his own hand, which would never let go of Siol’s heart by its own will.

But he couldn’t give up the pulse in his hand. If he had never felt it, it might be different, but now he was already addicted to this beat. If he cut off his hand, he would be unable to bear the urge to attach himself to that pulse with another part of his body to feel his lover’s heart. Even if his entire body were cut to pieces and only his head remained, he would only be able to breathe with his cheek pressed against his mate’s heart, feeling its beat.

“…love me….”

He felt a sense of relief at his own words, and at the same time, was crushed by a profound self-loathing.

Siol loved him. Despite all those terrible things, Siol loved him, the blue dragon.

Eorzen, clutching his left hand, remained still like a stone statue for a long time. Tears streamed down his face, yet he didn’t even think to wipe them away. Self-loathing and anger, and love and guilt for Siol, wrapped around him like a thorny rose stem, squeezing him tight.

Eorzen loved Siol. So much so that if Siol wished it, he would willingly agree even if he wanted to conduct alchemical experiments on a dragon’s body. If it would make Siol happy, he could offer his everything, no matter how painful the demand.

But even if he made such a sacrifice now, it could not undo the terrible thing he had already done.

What would a human do in a situation like this? Isn’t giving up on a partner also a form of love? If he let Siol continue to stay by the side of this gloomy and foolish dragon, wouldn’t it cause him harm? If he truly thought of Siol, shouldn’t he cast out the sinner who committed such a terrible act and help him live a new life? If he loved Siol. If he thought of him. If he wished for Siol’s happiness.

Eorzen flinched and suddenly stood up. Siol’s heart was beating a little faster than before. His mate had clearly woken up. He returned to the mansion and thought about the breakfast to feed Siol and the clothes to dress him in for their outing. He would feed him plenty of delicious and nutritious food, and since they had a long journey ahead, he would dress him more warmly than usual….

As he became lost in such thoughts, his chaotic mind gradually began to clear.

He was a dragon, not a human, and that was not the dragon’s way. For a dragon, the method of giving up on a mate, on love, did not exist.

Dragons were selfish creatures. He was sorry, but he could not give up on Siol. That was the one and only thing a dragon could not do for their mate.

Siol was his mate and the master who already ruled his soul. Therefore, what he had to do was not despair and lament, but to cling to Siol’s love, which had not changed even in this dire situation, so that it would never change.

“I’ll have to drink a lot of tea for the time being.”

But for now, he had to hide his tears.

Because right now, he was not Sizool’s blue dragon, but Eorzen, who had lost the memories of the past year. Eorzen used magic to wash his face clean. Then he changed his dirty and wrinkled clothes for new ones, combed his hair, and put on his accessories.

Hoping to catch his mate’s eye for even a moment longer.

⋆୨🔮୧⋆

The city of the wolf Lipez, who had requested Eorzen’s summons, was located quite a distance from the human lands. To get to Lipez’s city as quickly as possible, the group cut straight across the Beastmen’s lands.

It wouldn’t have been a particularly difficult journey, but the problem was that their travel had to be carried out in extreme secrecy. They had concluded that in the human lands, no one had a way to contact the king. But it was unknown what the situation was like in the Beastmen’s lands. If even one of the many chieftains who saw them was brainwashed like Marsiga’s chieftain, a swift-footed Beastman might run to deliver the news to the king.

For that reason, they decided to avoid cities as much as possible, running and sleeping outside of them.

As the sun began to sink towards the western horizon, the group hurriedly looked for a place to rest for the night. Eorzen, who was flying over the endless forest, found a suitable spot and pointed to it with his finger, and Ryufen ran ahead towards it. By the time Eorzen and Siol arrived, Ryufen was already setting up a tent in a spot a little away from a lake.

In truth, if it had been a journey for just Eorzen and Ryufen, they would have simply wrapped themselves in a single blanket and slept on the snow, so this tent was purely for Siol. Ryufen had dug out some of the snow on the ground to make a sort of burrow and had set up the tent there. The tent was also white, so it didn’t stand out from a distance.

“Would you like to go in first? I have something to do for a moment.”

Eorzen said as he set Siol down on the ground. Siol was curious about what it was, but after being held in his arms at a high altitude all day, he was too cold and tired, so he just nodded and ran to the tent.

He pushed aside the curtain at the entrance and entered the tent, and the inside was surprisingly warm. It wasn’t warm enough to take off his coat, but the mere fact that the wind didn’t brush against his cheeks made it feel much warmer than outside. Moreover, it was much more spacious than he had expected. There was enough space for about a dozen people to lie down, and there was even a small tent set up inside. Looking at the more decent space than he’d expected, Siol exclaimed in admiration.

“What’s with the ‘wow’? Come over here and warm yourself by the fire.”

Siol did as Ryufen told him and went over to the bonfire next to him to warm himself. When he took off his gloves, his pale, frozen hands were revealed. Seeing them, Ryufen was startled and came over to Siol’s side.

“What’s wrong with your hands? Were you wearing your gloves properly?”

“I was wearing them just fine. What can I do if it’s still cold?”

“Jeez… for a wolf, why is your fur like that?”

Ryufen looked at Siol pitifully and shook his head.

Siol ignored him and focused on warming his pale hands. Ryufen’s nagging about being a wolf didn’t even leave a scratch on him anymore. He seemed to have gotten used to it after being teased by Luber, who would point out that he was a ‘totally weak wolf’ and then whistle innocently.

In the first place, being a strong wolf wasn’t Siol’s dream. On the contrary, he thought he was healthy enough as he was now. Because for an alchemist, he was on the very healthy side. His spine wasn’t bent, his eyesight was good, and his shoulders weren’t hunched. It wasn’t easy for an alchemist who had spent his whole life researching to have such a sound body.

Although he couldn’t jump from the third floor. Siol shrugged his shoulders.

“Lord Eorzen said he has something to do. What could it be?”

Ryufen replied while taking a pot out of the backpack he had taken off on the floor and hanging it over the bonfire.

“Yeah. He probably went to chase away monsters nearby.”

“Chase away monsters?”

“Yeah. I told you before that dragons have the power to chase away monsters, right? But they have to know the dragon is here to avoid it. He went to release the dragon’s aura in the surroundings. You know how he revealed his dragon’s aura when we entered Burdril’s lab before? It’s similar, but he said he has to make it thicker than that to chase away monsters.”

The power to chase away monsters just by existing, no matter how he thought about it, it was really cool.

Wasn’t this to say that if Siol stayed by Eorzen’s side in the future, he might never encounter a monster in his entire life? He had heard that dragons were the only mythical species among the Beastmen and were incredible beings who were mages from birth, but to Siol, the story that monsters fled just by sensing a dragon’s aura sounded much more amazing than such stories.

It was probably because he had spent his entire life on Earth in a city that was being invaded by monsters.

Thinking that far, Siol was now reminded of Eorzen’s city, which Eorzen had left vacant.

“Ryufen, what about the city then? Lord Eorzen isn’t there.”

“It’s fine for the time being. The Captain left some scales behind. Apparently, dragon scales have a similar power.”

Dragon scales have that kind of power too? Siol let out a low groan.

Of course, he didn’t regret saving the kids now, but it would have been nice if he had made a tool for Ladie with the last remaining scale. He should have asked for one before leaving and made it for her. Then it would have been much more convenient for Ladie when she went around taking over territories.

“But he said scales that have fallen off from old age have almost no dragon magic power, so it doesn’t work, and it has to be a new scale to last a long time. This is a secret, but he doesn’t say much about it, but it seems to be quite painful when he plucks them.”

“It’s painful… every time he plucks one?”

Siol recalled the bright blue scale Eorzen had once attached to his cardigan. At that time, Eorzen had suddenly left the room and came back with a scale. Was it to avoid showing him the act of plucking it? His heart pounded with a mix of gratitude and guilt.

Just then, the entrance opened and a cold wind blew in. Eorzen closed the entrance, walked over to the fire where Siol and Ryufen were, and abruptly grabbed Siol’s hand. Even though he had been holding them close to the bonfire all this time, his pale hands still lacked color. Eorzen took them in his own and rubbed them, his expression hardening.

“Your hands are cold.”

Before Siol had a chance to react, Eorzen swiftly lifted him up and sat him on top of the large backpack Ryufen had put down.

Then, leaving Siol, who had been moved without knowing why, he went back to the bonfire, took the water Ryufen was boiling, poured it into a basin, and brought it over. He ignored Ryufen’s dumbfounded stare and grabbed Siol’s feet. Siol thought, “No way,” but in an instant, his shoes and then his socks were pulled off.

Siol quickly pulled his exposed bare feet in and looked around for the large wolf who might help him. But Ryufen had already taken the pot and was heading to a corner of the tent. It seemed he was going to scoop up new snow into the pot. It was strange that Ryufen would acquiesce to this bizarre situation without any resistance.

“Siol.”

Before Siol could properly form the question, Eorzen knelt on one knee in front of him. Siol was so startled he almost jumped up. Again. He had made the blue dragon kneel again. The bewildered Siol grabbed Eorzen’s shoulders and tried to pull him up, but Eorzen remained silently seated, holding his hand out towards Siol’s feet. He didn’t even try to pull them by force. He was poised to wait like that until Siol offered his feet himself.

Siol felt his head heat up from thinking too much about what to do.

“Siol.”

At the almost pleading call, Siol first placed his hand on top of Eorzen’s.

“Here, my hand. My hand is cold, so I just have to give you my hand, right? Right?”

Actually, his hand wasn’t even that cold anymore. When he was warming it by the bonfire, only the parts the heat touched had managed to get warm, but now, from the embarrassment and shame, blood was rushing through his whole body, and he could even feel heat in his cheeks.

“If your hands are this cold, your feet must be even colder. You could get frostbite if you’re not careful.”

“It’s, it’s not cold anymore.”

“Siol.”

The voice that kept calling his name now sounded pleading and pathetic. No, maybe it wasn’t actually like that, but that’s how it felt to Siol. And above all, Eorzen’s knee on the floor was bothering him immensely.

Making the blue dragon kneel. As Siol lamented again, at a loss, Eorzen requested once more.

“Siol. Quickly.”

Eorzen had always been strange from a certain point, but now it was severe. It was far too strange for Siol to throw himself into delusion and enjoy this moment.

Siol hesitated for a moment before finally giving in and obediently extending his feet.

He had concluded that it was better to quickly give the other person what they wanted, as it would be a faster way to save Eorzen’s knee than to continue this standoff. Eorzen, having obtained what he wanted, began to do what he pleased without hesitation. Siol unknowingly tried to pull his foot back at the sensation of Eorzen’s hand brushing over the top of his foot and between his toes, but his ankle was caught firmly. Eorzen’s stern eyes glanced at Siol and then moved back to his foot.

“…….”

Siol stared blankly at the top of Eorzen’s head as he carefully placed his foot in the water, then just lay down flat on his back. As Siol, who had been sitting on the highest part of Ryufen’s backpack, lay down, his head was positioned on the downward slope. His body slid down until it was caught by Eorzen. Siol paid no mind and sighed deeply, looking at the world upside down. Blood rushed to his head, but he was in no mood to care about such trivial things.

“Siol.”

Eorzen chided him in a reproachful voice, but he soon stopped when Siol lifted his free foot and pressed it firmly somewhere on his chest. He took Siol’s foot, which was getting cold again in the chilly air, put it back into the hot water, and began to silently massage it.

And Ryufen was watching this scene with a look of utter disbelief. Siol, who had acted on a whim out of annoyance, felt a surge of shame the moment he saw that look. Ah, what am I doing right now? This wasn’t the time for this. There was something wrong with Eorzen right now. And the only person he could talk to about this problem was Ryufen. To be honest, Ryufen was an unreliable wolf when it came to these matters, but he had no other choice.

Siol belatedly tried to sit up but couldn’t even get halfway up before flopping down again. He grunted a few times, tensing his stomach, then soon gave up. It was completely hopeless. Ryufen, seeing this pathetic sight, snorted in derision and sauntered back to the bonfire.

He should have done some ab exercises in advance. Siol swallowed his shame and simply closed his eyes. Lying in a lax posture, having his feet warmly massaged by gentle hands, he gradually felt drowsiness creep over him.

Siol, who was slowly drifting off to sleep, flinched and came to his senses at the touch of hands rubbing between his toes.

No, I shouldn’t be making the blue dragon do this.

Of course, even though he had come to his senses, there was nothing Siol could do. He couldn’t even sit up on his own right now. He could only wait quietly, feeling Eorzen dry his feet with a towel, put on two layers of socks, then his boots, and tie the laces tightly.

Finally finished with what he wanted to do, Eorzen took his knee off the floor and stood up. He paused when he saw Siol lying down, and then burst out laughing.

“…Don’t laugh, help me up.”

As Siol held out both hands with a blush, Eorzen chuckled and came over, put an arm behind Siol’s neck, and helped him sit up. Eorzen gently stroked the head of Siol, who was breathing a sigh of relief at finally regaining his freedom, and then went outside the tent to throw out the cooled water. Siol had told him not to laugh, but it seemed the smile wouldn’t leave the corners of his mouth.

Siol watched the scene with displeasure, then ran over to Ryufen and shouted in a low voice.

“Ryufen, Ryufen, Lord Eorzen is acting strange!”

“…Well, it’s not like it’s the first or second time.”

“It’s not just that, he’s being incredibly strange! It’s not like the time we talked together at the castle. It’s gotten much worse, and now I have no idea what he’s thinking. Do you think something might have happened?”

Ryufen let out a low sigh, looking at Siol who was whispering urgently, worried Eorzen might return.

The story they had shared at the castle was all said without knowing that this kid was the dragon’s mate. He certainly had said it back then. That the Captain was a dragon and had never lost anything in his life, but after losing him, the shock was so great that he seemed to have gone a bit strange. That it wouldn’t last forever, so he should just play along for a bit.

He clearly remembered even joking that anyone would think he was the mate.

Regrettably, that strange phenomenon was an entirely normal one, and it was scheduled to last for a thousand, ten thousand years. A dragon’s love for their mate never cools, and since Siol was the Captain’s mate, it was a matter of course.

Siol, you’re going to have to live with the Captain, for whom that strangeness is normal, for the rest of your life.

Ryufen wanted to ask Siol if he would be okay, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it. It wasn’t just because the dragon had warned him to keep his mouth shut, but also because he, too, knew that Siol liked the Captain. Of course, it was a good thing. It’s really great when a dragon and their mate like each other.

But Siol was currently wearing some thick rose-colored glasses.

In Ryufen’s opinion, the blue dragon was not a very good romantic partner. To turn into a mouse and follow a kid who ran away was the height of creepiness. He couldn’t even confess his feelings honestly, which showed he lacked courage, and he even chased after a kid who said no to wash his feet. Wasn’t being a bit too forceful also a problem?

But then again, looking at the stubborn but physically weak wolf cub who had endured his hands and feet being frozen solid without a single complaint, it also seemed that a partner who took care of him a bit forcefully was a perfect match for this idiot.

No, but still…!

Actually, Ryufen felt a little troubled when he looked at these two. No, a lot. Of course, he had waited for a very long time for Eorzen to find his mate and lead a stable life. But he hadn’t wished for that partner to be this little kid, Sizool. It was a good thing for Eorzen, but when he thought of Sizool, he didn’t feel good about it at all.

He found himself strange for this. He wasn’t a wolf who was this picky.

But strangely, when he looked at Sizool, at Siol, he would often find himself feeling displeased with Eorzen.

It was a judgment based on the intuition that had saved his life dozens of times, rather than a thought with a proper basis.

“…Yeah, well…. Something could have happened. But even so, what could it be.”

So, the only answer he could give was this kind of half-hearted remark.

As Ryufen answered so vaguely, Siol punched him in the side. Of course, it didn’t hurt Ryufen at all.

“Don’t be so insincere! He’s really acting strange! Earlier, too….”

Siol, who was about to bring up the guiding, closed his mouth, wondering if it was okay to talk about it.

There are no Guides in this world. The only being who can calm a dragon’s rampage is their mate. In such a world, his own existence was terribly out of place. If he were at least capable of guiding right now, he might be able to explain that while he wasn’t the mate, he was a being who could calm a dragon’s rampage. But for some reason, Eorzen was now repelling his guiding.

The matter of guiding was not something to be brought up without proof.

“Hey, that’s probably because you were saying you were fine when your feet were like blocks of ice. Do you know what happens if you get frostbite in the winter? The blood doesn’t circulate in your feet, so your toes rot and fall right off. You want that? Fine, I’ll side with you on most other things, but not when it comes to your health. Speaking of which, why has the amount you eat shrunk so much since you went to the human lands? Your body has gotten bigger, so you should be eating more, but you’re eating as much as an ant’s antenna. Of course your body can’t be healthy when you eat like that. The reason you get cold easily is also because you have no muscle….”

Ryufen’s nagging poured out. Siol, who had no excuse, had no choice but to pretend to listen quietly, saying “yes, yes,” but he was actually thinking about something else.

Ryufen was no help, as expected. He should have figured it out on his own. He had just brought it up for nothing and got an earful of useless nagging….

Eorzen was pretending like nothing had happened, but there was no way his rampage level would be boiling like that if nothing was wrong. He had either used a lot of magic power, or, as Eorzen himself had said, something had happened that would make his soul unstable.

He had to find out what the cause was. If the same thing happened two or three more times, Eorzen might go on a rampage without even a chance to resist. So he had to find the cause and make sure the same thing never happened again. But how?

He couldn’t ask him outright, and even if he asked what had happened, it didn’t seem like he would answer.

In the end, the only thing Siol could do right now was to soothe Eorzen’s unstable soul and guide him. Guiding was originally less effective the more the heart was closed, and more effective the closer one was to the other person. He had to lighten his mood, and while Eorzen already liked him to some extent, he had to make him like him a little more….

Thinking that far, Siol censored himself, wondering if he wasn’t trying to use the situation to satisfy his own selfish desires.

Fortunately, that wasn’t the case.

No, he couldn’t be sure, but probably….

No, maybe he was trying to satisfy his selfish desires a little, but this much was okay, wasn’t it….

Siol shook his head to clear his thoughts that kept straying, then froze at a sudden suspicion that arose.

“Ryufen, Lord Eorzen doesn’t hate me, does he?”

“You were just saying the Captain was strange and what not a moment ago, and now what kind of nonsense is this?”

“Right…. I know, actually.”

Ryufen turned to look at Siol, who was nodding and sighing deeply, with a look of disbelief. What did he know? Ryufen thought that the little thing was saying stupid things without even knowing how the Captain felt about him, but he didn’t add any more words.

“I know Lord Eorzen isn’t the type to be so nice to someone he hates. But it’s a little strange.”

“Yeah, you’ve been saying it’s strange since a while ago.”

“No, that’s not it. He’s being incredibly nice to me, but I also feel like he’s a little hesitant.”

“The Captain is hesitant of you?”

“Yes. Something…. Something’s strange.”

Siol muttered and crouched by the fire.

The small suspicion was growing in volume inside Siol’s head. Eorzen was strange. His actions were more devoted, but paradoxically, his heart felt more distant. His heart had grown distant. He could only think that something other than his affection for him had grown in Eorzen’s heart. There was no other way to explain why the guiding wasn’t working.

“Could it be that his memory has returned? Since I pretended to be a kid and lived in the castle before, he might have found that unpleasant. Since I’m originally an adult like this, but pretended to be a little kid.”

“What kind of nonsense is that?”

Ryufen snorted, looking at the still-small-in-his-eyes Siol, even though Ryufen himself had become an adult. He was dumbfounded by Siol’s ridiculous worries.

However, Siol was genuinely worried. In fact, if you thought about it, Siol had done the same thing as Nathaniel. Could he really say he was any different from Nathaniel, who, as the son of a witch and a middle-aged man, had disguised himself as a child to become Siol’s disciple, while he, as the Alchemist of Death, had pretended to be a child to receive the protection of a blue dragon?

He didn’t doubt Eorzen’s feelings. He liked him. He could tell from his actions.

But, perhaps contempt had also grown in that heart. He could tell from his actions.

So, maybe Eorzen’s feelings had turned into a love-hate relationship. The gentle Eorzen couldn’t even reveal his inner thoughts and had simply closed off his heart. And because he felt sorry for that, he was trying to be overly nice like this….

Siol shook his head, trying to brush off the negative thoughts.

If Eorzen’s memories were returning, there was a different problem to worry about.

He could firmly state that the night spent at the castle was a medical procedure to lower Eorzen’s rampage level as his guide.

But what about the last night they spent in Marsiga? Siol’s cheeks reddened. No, that night was a time for Siol to satisfy his own personal desires. It was something to be sorry for, no different from using a dragon that had gone on a rampage due to Nathaniel’s drug, but Siol had been so happy that night. The first night spent with the person he loved; although his proper reasoning was gone, that was why he could desire Eorzen to his heart’s content.

However, for Eorzen, it might have been a nightmare.

Eorzen was a dragon who loved only one partner in his entire life, and the fact that he had spent a deep night with someone else might feel like a nightmare. But wouldn’t a good-natured dragon feel guilty about that day’s events? He might be feeling guilty, thinking that that day must have felt like a nightmare to Siol as well, and was being overly nice because of it.

In his current state of mind, he could come up with dozens of reasons why Eorzen would shun him.

“Siol. The way your mind works is just…”

The problem wasn’t just that.

If his memories were truly returning, it meant that other memories might soon come back as well. The lie he told Eorzen about using formal speech. The dates he had enjoyed to his heart’s content, taking advantage of the clueless Eorzen.

His head spun at the thought of having to explain and take responsibility for all those things.

Until now, his way of solving such problems had always been to run away. Either physically run away, or if that was impossible, hide his heart in a deep place and build a wall against the other person. That way, he could at least get hurt less.

But he couldn’t do that now. He must not run away from Eorzen, whose rampage level had gotten so severe in just one day. If Eorzen had become so unstable because some of his memories had indeed returned, wasn’t it all his fault?

When his memories fully returned, it might become forever impossible for him to guide Eorzen. So, he had to do at least a little guiding before that.

And above all, Siol had made a promise. That they would go back together after he finished everything he had to do.

“What if you’ve grown to hate me?”

“Stop with the nonsense and just take out some meat.”

Just as Siol, who was getting fed up with Ryufen’s half-hearted replies and displeased stare, was about to say something, Eorzen returned. Not wanting to look childish in front of Eorzen, Siol suppressed the words he was about to say and, as Ryufen instructed, took out meat, spices, potatoes, bread, and other things from his pouch.

In reality, this pouch was simply connected to Ladie’s pouch; it didn’t have any refrigeration function. So, if you put in easily perishable food like meat, it couldn’t be stored for long and had to be replaced frequently. Thinking it would be a hassle, he had asked her to only put in food with a long shelf life like dried meat, but Ladie said that such an effort was nothing and promised to supply fresh meat regularly.

Thanks to her, the group was able to have luxurious meals like steak, potato soup, fried eggs, and fruit juice even while on the move. Of course, it wasn’t just the ingredients; the chef’s skills were also outstanding. Facing the delicious food, which was so good it was hard to believe it was Ryufen’s cooking, Siol looked back at Ryufen in surprise. Their eyes met, and Ryufen arrogantly scrunched up his nose.

“Ryufen, you’re a really good cook now.”

“It’s all delicious, isn’t it?”

“Yes, really. To think that Ryufen has developed a sense of taste.”

“What’s that supposed to mean.”

“At first, you thought all you had to do with meat was grill it. You were satisfied as long as there was a lot of meat.”

“That’s delicious enough, you know? You can feel the primal taste of the meat. Isn’t that right, Captain?”

Eorzen, who was elegantly cutting his meat, avoided Ryufen’s gaze as if troubled by the question and poured juice into Siol’s empty glass.

“Ah, Captain! Isn’t that right?”

“…Ryufen. If you absolutely must have an answer…. No. To be honest, your cooking wasn’t that great.”

“…What did you say?! No, you’ve been eating my food for decades, and you’re saying this now?”

Siol giggled as if to say, ‘see, I told you so.’

“I was in a position where I had to eat what you made, so I didn’t complain, did I?”

“I’ve had enough. Fine. I was a bad cook. I didn’t feel the need to be good at it either. Frankly, if a handsome, good-fighting wolf like me is also good at cooking, it raises the bar for wolves too high, doesn’t it? Siol, you should know too. Later, if other wolves can’t get married because I’m too perfect, it’s all your fault.”

It seemed like he was just spouting nonsense out of frustration, but Ryufen wasn’t the type of wolf to make such jokes. It meant he was being completely serious. That shameless wolf had a flaw of being overly confident in his abilities. No matter how skilled he was, he wouldn’t be popular if he was that arrogant. If Ryufen couldn’t get married, it would be because of that arrogant attitude and his lazy everyday life.

And in the first place, Siol had never asked Ryufen to learn how to cook. Hadn’t he started studying cooking on his own after seeing Siol eat so little? Of course, it was something to be thankful for. It’s truly a thankful and happy thing when someone does something for you. Siol thought so too. That is, until Ryufen started taking credit for it so annoyingly.

“I’m really disappointed in you, Captain. To say that to someone who cooked for you for decades…. Hey, Siol. So you sleep next to me tonight. Got it?”

He couldn’t understand why that led to a ‘so,’ but Siol refused for now.

“No.”

“What? How can you refuse so bluntly? After everything I’ve done for you…!”

“Ugh. I’m so sick and tired of hearing that. Ryufen, you’ve been really good to me. You have, but how long are you going to milk it?”

“How long! I’m going to milk it until you’re old and dead!”

Siol glared irritably at Ryufen, who was starting to be stubborn.

If he was this stubborn once or twice, he would have apologized and begged for forgiveness, but now that he brought it up all the time, it was just annoying. Even when he decided to be nice to Ryufen, the feeling would vanish the moment he saw him arrogantly taking credit.

Ryufen, who had been glaring at the sullen-faced Siol, snorted with a ‘hnph’ and then turned his head to Eorzen.

“Captain, did you know? Earlier, Siol…”

“Ah, why are you trying to tell him what we talked about!”

Realizing what the loose-lipped wolf was about to say, Siol pressed Ryufen’s snout shut from above and below, shouting in a fit.

At that, Eorzen’s eyes drooped as if he was disappointed.

“Were you two having a secret conversation without me?”

“No, no, it wasn’t a secret conversation…!”

“If it’s not a secret, you can tell me, can’t you?”

“No, but still, that’s…!”

The mischievous wolf leisurely enjoyed the sight of the flustered Siol and continued his meal. Siol knew this but had no time to get angry at him. His mind was racing, unable to think of how to get out of this situation. The circumstances weren’t right for glossing things over with a lie. He was sure Ryufen would interfere. And in truth, he wasn’t very good at lying in unprepared situations.

“Well…. Ah. I just… thought that maybe some of your memories had returned, Lord Eorzen.”

“…Why would you think that? Not at all.”

At the overly firm reply, Siol felt a little resentful and gently prodded.

“You’ve been strange lately.”

“Strange? In what way, may I ask?”

“Earlier too, my feet… you did that.”

“Your hands and feet were frozen solid, so it couldn’t be helped.”

He wasn’t taking issue with the act of warming his hands and feet itself. If he was worried about his cold hands and feet, he could have helped him get closer to the bonfire, or anyway, there were plenty of other ways. But right now, Eorzen was acting like, like a servant. It felt different from when he, as a blue dragon, wanted to bestow something.

Yes, right now Eorzen was serving him as if he had a debt to repay to Siol. Like a slave.

Siol mumbled, at a loss as to how to explain this.

“But…”

Eorzen asked in a low, whisper-like voice.

“If my memories return, will I become more affectionate toward you?”

“Pardon?”

“It seems that the strange behavior Siol is referring to is the actions I took out of worry. Is that not the case?”

“That’s… that’s right….”

“Then it seems that before I lost my memories, I used to be very affectionate towards Siol while using formal speech.”

Could it be interpreted that way?

Siol felt like grabbing his own head. He met Eorzen’s eyes, who had leaned his upper body closer, and just blinked, unable to move as if he were caught.

Eorzen smiled gently and interrogated him kindly.

“So you suspected my memories had returned upon seeing my affectionate actions. Is that not so?”

“That… that kind of thing…”

Just then, as Siol was about to stutteringly deny it, a very good idea flashed through his mind.

“That’s right!”

Behind Eorzen, Ryufen looked at Siol with a ‘That’s right?!’ expression, then shook his head as if he was bored and started eating again. Fortunately, it seemed that loose-lipped wolf was already tired of the prank.