UPLB Ch 3
by soapa“Where are you always wandering around? I never see you at school.”
Despite Seokjun’s grumbling, Choi Sungbin didn’t answer and looked around the student cafeteria. He held a meal ticket between his index and middle fingers and tilted his head.
As the weather warmed up, there were more people than before. The student cafeteria, which would normally have been just okay, now had a line twice as long.
He, too, hadn’t been to the student cafeteria in a long time. He only came for school meals on rare occasions when he had free time between classes or when he needed to eat for an assignment.
“……”
He saw a familiar face. He might have missed him if he hadn’t been paying attention, but he stood out because of his tall and slender frame.
‘Does he even wash his clothes?’
For once he wasn’t wearing his department jacket, but today he had a school hoodie pulled over his head.
“Hey, Sungbin.”
“Yeah.”
“Do you really have no intention of apologizing to Changsu hyung?”
“Why?”
“He’s going around talking shit about you, saying you made a move on Hyena nuna.”
“We’re friends. The person who sees it that way is the weird one.”
Changsu was Hyena’s ex-boyfriend. He and Hyena were just friends, but Changsu, as it turned out, had been two-timing her with her friend.
The two-timing, which had been going on for about six months, was discovered because of Hyena’s intuition. Trusting her gut, she had raided her boyfriend’s apartment late at night, a boyfriend who claimed to be sleeping. When she came face to face with her boyfriend cleaning up after having sex and her friend who was just coming out of the bathroom, Hyena said it felt like her world was collapsing.
The boyfriend, who had cheated but had no intention of breaking up, begged and pleaded with Hyena. But Hyena had no intention of taking him back anymore. The pathetic bastard, tired of begging, at some point started blaming him, who had been hanging out with Hyena. He was a pathetic bastard.
“Phew. I don’t know either.”
Seokjun sighed and ruffled his hair.
Choi Sungbin started walking. With light steps, he approached Yang Juwon, who was standing in front of the meal ticket vending machine. He tapped his shoulder with his index finger. The man flinched and turned his head with wary eyes.
“Hello.”
Choi Sungbin greeted the man with a wide smile.
“Hi.”
“Did you get your meal ticket?”
“Yeah.”
“Give it to me.”
Choi Sungbin held out his hand. He had already gotten his own meal ticket, but he was testing him. It was a continuous test.
Will he give it to me this time too? He does everything I tell him to.
“Here.”
The man placed the meal ticket in Choi Sungbin’s hand. How delightful. Choi Sungbin pretended to be delighted. He shoved the hand holding the ticket into his pocket.
Yang Juwon’s expression hardened. He nibbled on his lips and hesitated.
“After class today…, uh.”
“You want to meet?”
“Yeah.”
“Sure. Since you gave me the ticket. I’m going to go to my friend. See you later.”
Choi Sungbin casually crumpled the unneeded meal ticket he had put in his pocket.
He joined Seokjun, who was waiting in line to order. Once you got a ticket, you could go to the counter and order a menu item corresponding to the price. It was a cumbersome system, but the line moved quickly.
Seokjun glanced at Yang Juwon, who was getting another meal ticket.
“What the hell is with that sunbae? He’s a sunbae from our department.”
“Why?”
“Why is he giving you his meal ticket like an offering? You got coffee from him last time too.”
Choi Sungbin crumpled the ticket in his pocket and smiled with his eyes.
“We’re close.”
Seokjun shook his head from side to side.
“I don’t know what your standard for ‘close’ is. Am I close with you too?”
“Well, if you think so, then I guess we are.”
A short vibration buzzed in his pocket. Choi Sungbin took out his phone and checked the message. The name that had been ‘YH’ had at some point been changed to ‘Yeonhee’.
Oppa, what are you doing after class today? Buy me food.
All the formal address like ‘sunbae’ and polite speech had been dropped.
Sure. See you after class.
“Yeonhee?”
Seokjun lowered his voice, glancing at the chat window.
“You’re using what you mooched off a sunbae on a hoobae? Is this that girl? Are you trying to date her?”
“I’m trying to be friends with her, so what.”
“Agh, that damn ‘friends’ of yours!”
Choi Sungbin let out a small laugh, then paused.
“Sunbae.”
He called out to Yang Juwon, who was passing by with a tray.
“Sit here.”
He pointed to the seat next to him. Seokjun, sitting opposite him, glared as if to ask what kind of random stunt he was pulling. Still, Yang Juwon, being a sunbae, sat opposite him and bowed his head slightly to Seokjun.
“Ah, hello.”
“Yeah.”
Yang Juwon replied briefly and ate his meal. Every time he saw him, he felt that his informal speech to his hoobaes was natural. He had used informal speech with him from the very beginning, and it was the same with Seokjun.
He had the impression of someone who would use polite speech even when talking to a child, but surprisingly, he acted nonchalantly.
“Sunbae.”
“Yeah.”
“Just go home after class today.”
Seokjun only rolled his eyes as he spooned his soup. Yang Juwon only looked at the food on his tray and asked.
“Why?”
“Something came up.”
“Something came up, my ass.”
Yang Juwon must have also clearly heard Seokjun’s grumbling reprimand. But he just replied as he always did.
“Okay.”
📝
After finishing dinner, they parked the car in a parking lot by the Han River and enjoyed the night view for a bit. Yeonhee grumbled in a cutesy voice.
“I didn’t like my ex-boyfriend because he didn’t have a car.”
“Why is not having a car a problem?”
“It’s nice to be just the two of us. The subway is convenient, but there are times when you just want to be alone together.”
“That’s true.”
Choi Sungbin took a sip of the Americano placed in the drink tray.
“Oh, right. Oppa, look at this.”
Yeonhee held out her wrist.
“It’s a new perfume I bought, the scent is amazing.”
“Let me see.”
He wrapped his hand around her wrist and pulled it towards him. He smelled the scent that had seeped into the inside of her wrist. It was a sweet scent that suited spring well.
“……”
Looking up at Yeonhee, he playfully rubbed his nose against her wrist.
Yeonhee didn’t pull her wrist away. She just stared at Choi Sungbin. No matter how he thought about it, even if Yang Juwon did everything he said, a date with a woman was more enjoyable.
The thought of playfully pressing his lips against Yang Juwon’s wrist was enough to make him feel sick to his stomach.
“It tickles……”
Yeonhee pulled her hand away a beat later. He let go without a word. Yeonhee, pulling her hand toward herself, fiddled with her wrist.
Choi Sungbin wiggled his index finger in the air. Her slender fingers wrapped around his index finger. Turning his head within the narrow angle, Yeonhee parted the lips she had been chewing on. She let out a short breath and asked in a flustered voice.
“Can I kiss you?”
“Why?”
“Because I want to.”
Choi Sungbin closed his eyes. Their lips met briefly. When he didn’t open his eyes, she delved in deeper a second time.
The hand holding his index finger was pulled along and placed on her thigh. He pleasantly accepted his partner, who was rubbing his thigh without hesitation and sucking on his lips.
Her lips were soft. She was not clumsy, and she smelled nice. Even though they had drunk beer, and even though he had cleansed his palate with an Americano, it was sweet without any repulsion.
The teeth that bit his tongue were not sharp, nor did she fumble.
As expected, his preference was not a man who sucked him off, but a woman.
He moved the hand that was rubbing her thigh and wrapped it around her slender neck. As the kiss deepened, their breathing grew rough. He bit her lower lip and pulled. He licked her front teeth with his tongue.
Vrrrr. Vrrrrrrr. Vrrr.
A long vibration repeated over and over. Without needing to check, he flipped over the phone in the console box. Her hand crossed over from the passenger seat and rested on his thigh. She leaned her head back, and he rubbed his lips against her neck.
Vrrr. Vrrr. Vrrr.
“……”
The lips that had been persistently biting and pulling moved away. Humid air filled the car. Choi Sungbin checked his phone with an irritated gesture. Light spread inside the dark car.
“Is that your girlfriend?”
Yeonhee asked, pulling down the hem of her skirt. The air had gotten hot, so he lowered the window a little.
“No.”
Yang Juwon. The three characters of his name filled the screen. Why was he calling. He could have ignored it, but he became curious about the psychology of someone who would go so far as to call.
A few messages were annoying enough, but now even a phone call. Did he think he was someone special? Someone who could send messages and call anytime, day or night.
“Just a moment. I’ll take this call outside.”
“Okay.”
Choi Sungbin ended up getting out of the car. The weather had gotten much warmer, but standing by the river, a cold wind blew.
“Why do you keep calling?”
He demanded as soon as he answered the phone. He wasn’t even curious about what would be said from the other side of the call. Whatever he said, he would react coldly.
—Ah. Were you busy?
“I told you I had something to do.”
—Right. You did.
“Did you call to check if I had something to do?”
—No. That’s not it.
“Then what is it.”
—I was going to ask you to dinner if you were done with your business.
He was truly a strange person. Choi Sungbin had been acting as he pleased. When he wanted to be nice, he was nice; when he was annoyed, he got irritated and acted impatiently. Acting without sincerity was a given.
And yet, Yang Juwon always acted stoically. If he got irritated, it was, Ah, okay. If he was nice, his face would redden slightly as he said, Ah, okay. It was the same this time.
Despite him having made it blatantly obvious he didn’t want to be contacted, he had called to ask for dinner. At this hour, long past dinnertime.
“You know it’s past 10 o’clock, right?”
—It’s still okay, isn’t it.
He’s being really persistent and annoying.
“Hah……. Wait if you want.”
—Where?
Choi Sungbin fiddled with his fingernails. He turned his body towards the river and stared blankly. It was always a calm space, but perhaps because it was night, the water’s surface was churning more than usual.
He could have just said, I have no intention of eating. Hang up. But another mean thought raised its head.
Since you’ve been annoying, you should suffer some inconvenience too. He softened his previously irritated voice.
“Where do you live?”
—In the Gimpo Kimchi-jjigae Alley.
“Then wait at a nearby café.”
—It’s about to close soon.
“I’ll probably get there before then. Don’t call me until I contact you.”
—Okay. I’ll wait.
Compared to the flood of calls that had poured in, the call ended cleanly. When he returned to the car, Yeonhee looked back at Choi Sungbin.
“Did you make plans?”
“No. Why?”
“It sounded like you were doing that on the phone just now.”
“Ah. I just said I’d go if I had time, so I don’t have to go.”
Choi Sungbin placed his hand on the low, round gear knob.
“So where are we going now?”
Yeonhee laid her hand over the back of his. She raised her fingers and gently rubbed the veins. The destination was set.
📝
Yeonhee huddled up, pulling the blanket tighter. She had said she was nearly 170 centimeters tall, but because she was so thin, her frame felt small.
Choi Sungbin took off the condom and threw it in the trash can. He sat on the edge of the bed. It was past 2 in the morning.
Honestly, he wasn’t satisfied yet. If it had been Yang Juwon, he would have told him to suck him off several more times, but he didn’t want to do that to a woman.
Yeonhee had said it wasn’t her first time, but she struggled with insertion, so he had to open several disposable gels. In the end, insertion failed, and they only enjoyed kissing and caressing. Her slender fingers rubbed his back. They moved side to side, as if drawing circles and scribbling.
“Oppa.”
“Yeah.”
“Are you not interested in dating?”
“Why?”
“You hang out with Hyena unni too.”
It was an act of playing. For Hyena, and for him. It seemed that’s how it looked in Yeonhee’s eyes too. Choi Sungbin only smiled with the corners of his mouth.
“Yeah. I’m not interested in dating.”
“Why?”
“Just because.”
He had seen many people settle down with someone, only to obsess, suffer, and be tormented. They would call it a relationship, yet they would cry, struggle, and feel lonely.
He could have fun without being in a relationship, so why did he have to settle down?
Yeonhee’s expression hardened for a moment before she bit her lip. She nodded once, as if she understood.
“Hold me.”
Choi Sungbin lay back down on the bed. He pulled Yeonhee into an embrace and buried his face in her neck. Her body scent was nice. He stroked her long hair along with her back.
“When did you book this place?”
“I have it rented. So I can come and rest whenever.”
“It’s not your home?”
“No.”
“Are you rich?”
“No.”
“You said your home is near Seoul Forest too.”
“Yeah.”
“Can you see the Han River from your home?”
“Why do you ask things like that.”
Choi Sungbin mixed a low laugh into his voice. Yeonhee hugged Choi Sungbin tightly. Their bare skin touched. He playfully bit her lip and let go.
“You’re tall, handsome, have a good body, and you’re good… I like it……”
“Is that so?”
“It’s my first time coming.”
As soon as her lips parted, Yeonhee whispered. Choi Sungbin chuckled softly. He adjusted Yeonhee in his arms and stared blankly out the window. He’s probably gone home by now. Unless he’s an idiot.
“Let’s sleep……”
Listening to Yeonhee’s voice, which was drifting off to sleep, he closed his eyes. Sleep wouldn’t come, but if he stayed like this, he could at least get a little bit of shut-eye.
The light sleep he had fallen into was eventually broken. Sleep, which took up a large part of life, was surprisingly difficult for Choi Sungbin. It took quite a long time for him to fall asleep, and even when he did, he would wake up at intervals of one or two hours. This night was no different.
The sleepless night was familiar, as always. Wanting to check the time, he picked up the phone he had left face down on the nightstand. Yeonhee’s faint breathing filled the silence.
3:12 AM. As the light flared brightly, Choi Sungbin’s brow furrowed. He hadn’t even slept for 30 minutes, but he wasn’t tired. His mind was sharp, as if drunk on caffeine.
“……”
His eyes widened as he scanned through the accumulated messages.
I’m waiting at the café now. When do you think you’ll be here?
They said the café is closing. I’m moving to another one. It’s near the main gate, so let me know.
You must be busy. It’s a 24-hour café, so don’t worry and come when you have time.
Are you asleep?
The last message had arrived a mere 20 minutes ago.
“Is he an idiot?”
The curse slipped out on its own. What was this person doing outside right now. Even if I told him to wait, he should have known to go home when the time came.
Who in their right mind waits outside from 10 at night until 3 in the morning.
I sat up, dialing his number. I put on a robe and slipped on my slippers. I walked to the window where the dark river stretched out.
It would be better if he didn’t answer the phone.
—Hello.
A low, sunken voice dug into my ear. Choi Sungbin swept his hair back. It was frustrating. He scowled and bit his lip.
—Choi Sungbin.
The other end of the line somehow sounded noisy and unsettled. I could tell even though he had only called my name. He was still outside.
Still, waiting.
“Ha.”
I let out a low sigh and readjusted my grip on the phone.
“Are you waiting outside?”
—Yeah. Were you sleeping?
“Yes. I dozed off.”
It wasn’t that I dozed off; I hadn’t even given him a thought. Though this man wouldn’t know. Or maybe he would.
—Were you very busy?
The man didn’t get angry. He was as calm as a person without emotions. I was the only one feeling frustrated.
“Yes. Where are you now.”
—A café. In front of the main gate… a 24-hour café. It’s hard for you to come out, right?
Fuck. Choi Sungbin put a hand to his forehead. I made him suffer a bit to be annoying and troublesome, and now I was getting it right back.
I could have just said, ‘Just go home,’ but for some reason, that was difficult to do. With a scowl, I spoke in a slightly irritated tone.
“I can be there in 30 minutes. Wait for me.”
—It’s not dinner, but breakfast, then.
Is he out of his mind? There was a hint of laughter in the voice coming over the phone. I wanted to ask him what was so funny, but it wasn’t even worth the effort, so I didn’t.
After ending the call, I changed my clothes. I approached the bed and placed a hand on the arm of the soundly sleeping Yeonhee. Instead of shaking her awake, I just made a small noise.
“Yeonhee.”
“Ugh.”
“Let’s go home.”
“Already?”
Yeonhee, who had been curled up asleep on the bed, couldn’t even open her eyes properly.
“Yeah. I’m not feeling well.”
“Do you need to go to the hospital? Should I go with you?”
“After I take you home, I can just go home and rest. Let’s go.”
“I’m sleepy. Do we really have to go now?”
“I’ll take you all the way home.”
Eventually, Yeonhee also got up and got dressed. To her grumbling that she couldn’t even wash her face, Choi Sungbin just stared at her quietly.
I didn’t like hearing her complaining voice, but since it was my fault for asking her to leave at 3 in the morning, I held my tongue. Instead, I opened the closet and handed her a cap.
“Wear this and go.”
Yeonhee pulled her long hair, which she had tied with her hands, through the back opening. Choi Sungbin, who had already finished getting ready, looked out the window. The usually congested roads were looser than usual since it was the early morning.
📝
It took twice as long because I had to take Yeonhee all the way home.
I stopped the car in front of the main gate. Yang Juwon, who had come out after I contacted him beforehand, recognized the car and approached. I lowered the passenger-side window.
“Get in.”
Yang Juwon got into the car without even a common greeting. We weren’t on terms to exchange friendly greetings. He settled into the passenger seat, fastened his seatbelt, and stayed quietly in his spot. He looked tired somewhere. It was only natural, as he had waited for hours for someone he couldn’t contact.
But I didn’t want to apologize. I also hated that a situation had been created where I had to apologize.
If I could go back a few hours, I would have just told him to stay home, but because of a foolish person, I was just in a bad mood for no reason.
Choi Sungbin just sat there with a scowl on his face. Yang Juwon, who had been sitting still, turned his head. He didn’t particularly try to start a conversation. I couldn’t pretend not to see the persistent gaze on me. In the end, I spoke first.
“Are you going to eat?”
“Yeah. Where do you want to go?”
“I’m tired of driving, so is it okay if we go near my place? I’ll park the car in the parking lot and we can walk.”
“Ah. Okay.”
It wasn’t a short distance from the school to my home. During rush hour, it could take close to an hour, but it probably wouldn’t take that long now.
The quiet early morning road. There weren’t many cars, but everyone’s speed was fast, so it felt like we were going slowly. I didn’t even turn on any music while driving, so a silence flowed.
Choi Sungbin observed the man sitting next to him with a sidelong glance. His expression, as he looked out the window, was hard to read. If he had just gotten annoyed once, I could have retorted back. But he just kept his mouth firmly shut.
Choi Sungbin parked the car in the lot and came up to ground level. Yang Juwon was sitting on a bench in the apartment playground. It was because I didn’t want to tell him my building number, so I had dropped him off at the complex entrance and told him to wait.
Every time the man breathed out, a puff of white vapor emerged. Even though spring was approaching, the early morning weather was still brutally cold.
Choi Sungbin, who had been watching the man kicking the ground from a distance, approached, making his presence known. It wasn’t a street with many bars, but every neighborhood is bound to have at least one gukbap restaurant.
“Let’s go eat.”
“Is there a decent place to eat? I don’t know this neighborhood well.”
Yang Juwon got up. He had his hands stuck in the pockets of his hoodie. He pulled his shoulders up toward his face, discreetly stretching.
Anyone could see he was exhausted, so what was he thinking, wanting to eat. But Choi Sungbin didn’t bother to back out. He, too, possessed a sliver of guilt.
“There’s a gukbap place. It’s probably 24-hours. Let’s go.”
Fortunately, the one gukbap restaurant in the neighborhood operated 24 hours a day. There were no customers besides the two of them. I had only seen it while passing by and this was my first time actually coming, but it was just an ordinary place. Except the prices were nearly double.
The food came out as soon as we ordered. The taste was nothing special either. It had a fishy smell, but it wasn’t inedible.
The two of them silently stirred their soup. Except for when they ordered, they didn’t open their mouths once. My eyelids felt heavy and I was dazed. I felt like my mind was floating.
A rerun of a variety show was airing on the television mounted on the wall. It was an old broadcast, so the picture quality wasn’t great. The laughter of the boisterous cast was followed by the occasional yawns of a half-asleep employee.
Yang Juwon opened his mouth around the time Choi Sungbin was mixing his rice into the earthenware pot.
“Do you have trouble sleeping at night?”
“Why?”
“Just. Because you’re not getting mad that I called you when you were sleepy.”
“Am I someone who only gets mad?”
When I scowled, Yang Juwon offered an apology tinged with a smile.
“Sorry. Aren’t you sleepy? You said you came after sleeping.”
Was it that his expression was hard to read, or was he really not angry? He initiated conversation more readily than expected. Choi Sungbin watched the man for a moment before dropping his gaze to his soup. Oil floated on the surface of the whitish broth.
“Yes. I don’t sleep much.”
“Since when?”
“I don’t know. I think it’s been like that for a long time.”
“That must be tiring.”
“Not really.”
Eating the hot soup made my body feel languid. Right after saying I didn’t sleep much, fatigue washed over me. I took a deep breath in and out.
“You said you were sleeping. But it looks like you were out.”
Yang Juwon muttered as if to himself. Choi Sungbin stopped spooning his soup and just raised his eyes. What kind of random thing was he saying now.
“Your clothes are the same as yesterday.”
“Why do you observe things like that?”
“I just. See it.”
“You should dress well yourself. Always walking around in the same clothes.”
Look who’s talking. When I snorted, Yang Juwon looked down at his own attire.
“Is it bad?”
“Yes.”
“It’s just clothes they sell at the school.”
“That’s why it’s tacky. You wear things like that because you don’t have clothes. Who wears clothes sold by the school? Only high school students on a campus tour buy one or two.”
“……”
Choi Sungbin was being strangely irritable towards the man. It wasn’t that he was being harsh simply because he was a man.
He was, of course, better to women, but he was generally the type to get along well with people regardless of gender. But it was a bit different now. Whatever he did, it was annoying and I was on edge. It was probably because I hadn’t been sleeping properly.
Choi Sungbin, who had been scraping the earthenware bowl, put down his spoon and straightened his back.
“Do you still like me even after all this?”
“What?”
“Just because. You ignored my calls today and waited until dawn. But now I’m just being cranky.”
“……”
“I’m just asking. Since you said you liked me.”
At a sudden glance that met mine, I looked sideways. The employee, who had been practically lying down on the table, had now opened his eyes wide and was looking my way.
What kind of things am I saying in a restaurant with no customers. Choi Sungbin waved his hand dismissively.
“Never mind. Just……”
“I like you.”
“……”
“I like you. So it’s okay.”
I’m really seeing all sorts of strange people.
“Why?”
“Huh?”
“Why do you like me.”
“Just because.”
“There must be a reason.”
“It’s just because, really. Just because.”
Yang Juwon gripped his spoon tightly, then relaxed his hand. Choi Sungbin’s gaze shifted to that hand, then he focused on his meal again.
It couldn’t be ‘just because’. There had to be a reason. Even if you fell in love with someone who saved your life, you would lose all affection if you were treated like this.
“……”
Yang Juwon glanced up, then focused on his meal as if he was going to bury his face in the pot. He was making it obvious that he didn’t want to talk anymore.
It wouldn’t be easy to hear the reason. Since he said he didn’t want to talk, I had no intention of asking further.
I wasn’t very, interested anyway.
I stood in front of the apartment’s main entrance. I had no intention of walking him home, so I planned to part ways here. Normally, I would have found a way to spend time outside, but honestly, even dragging him to the front of my home felt uncomfortable.
I stood blocking the man. The man, with his hood pulled over his head, flinched. Well, who told him to wait.
“I have no intention of taking you home. Find your own way.”
“I will. I’ll take a taxi.”
“Shouldn’t you get going?”
Choi Sungbin squinted one eye. His eyes were tired from the untimely wandering. It felt like I would collapse into sleep as soon as I got home. Fortunately, I had no morning classes. I could rest for a few hours without a thought.
Yeah, Yang Juwon replied briefly, then added a few more words.
“Thanks for today.”
“Okay.”
“Can I see you again next time?”
“Sure.”
The next time would probably be at a hotel. If I had enjoyed a date, I also needed a purely ejaculatory act. And for that, that man was a decent partner. Since he did everything I told him to without a word of complaint.
Choi Sungbin stuck his hands in his pockets. He turned his head and yawned. He made his annoyance obvious.
“Hey.”
Even though I told him to leave, Yang Juwon just hesitated. Can’t he understand when I tell him to go. Choi Sungbin pushed his tongue against his cheek and nodded his head.
“Yes.”
“Can I see you tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow?”
My voice jumped at the unexpected suggestion. Yang Juwon waved his hands and rambled.
“I mean, ah, not tomorrow but after class today.”
“That’s annoying.”
“But I feel sorry.”
I thought he would back off if I said it was annoying, but the man was being shameless again. Choi Sungbin tilted his head up slightly.
“What are you sorry about?”
“Making you wait until dawn because I didn’t answer my phone. Isn’t that why you kept grumbling?”
My brow twitched. What was he talking about. I did not—at all—think that way, but did he have the ability to read minds or something.
I was scared he might genuinely think that. The man was gravely mistaken. The reason I grumbled was only because he was bothering me in the middle of the night.
“That’s just what you think.”
“Anyway, since I’m sorry, let’s meet again later.”
Him begging to meet was genuinely annoying and irritating. A guy nearly 180 centimeters tall was whining at me, and it was beyond disgusting. I squeezed my eyes shut and opened them. It was tiring to stand in front of my home and argue.
Choi Sungbin stood with his weight on one leg. He tilted his head slightly and met the man’s eyes.
“What do you mean by ‘let’s meet’?”
“……Go on a date with me.”
“……”
“Like you do with the other kids.”
He really tries everything. I scanned the man with an annoyed face. I could just turn around and leave, but then it felt like he would follow me home. Seeing how he was acting, that was a definite possibility.
“Do whatever you want.”
I finally answered. I figured I could just have a quick meal and then go to a hotel or something.
‘……Go on a date with me.’
‘Like you do with the other kids.’
A date. The more I thought about it, the more ridiculous it sounded.
Choi Sungbin went to the smoking area and put a cigarette in his mouth. The boiling frustration made me keep reaching for cigarettes. I opened the cigarette pack to find a lighter.
There was no lighter, just cigarettes. Where did I leave it. I looked around, searching for a place to borrow one.
“Choi Sungbin!”
Just then, Hyena entered the smoking area. She approached, waving her hand, looking like a savior. Choi Sungbin held up the hand with the cigarette.
“Give me a light.”
“Did you leave your lighter behind?”
“Yeah.”
“You have a weird talent for losing lighters.”
“That’s why I don’t buy them with my own money.”
“Buying them at the convenience store is also buying them with your own money.”
Hyena said she had a few lighters and rummaged through her bag. She took out a pink lighter and handed it to him. Choi Sungbin took the lighter and lit his cigarette.
I took a short breath in and let it out through my teeth, which were clamped around the cigarette. I felt like I could finally live. Hyena crossed her arms and stood with her weight on one leg. She, too, puffed on a cigarette.
Choi Sungbin massaged his neck and moved his head. I did sleep, but I was still tired.
“Bini.”
I raised my head at Hyena’s strange nickname. I met her eyes askew. I told you not to call me that.
Hyena called me that all the time, saying it was cute, but to me it just sounded childish.
“Why didn’t you check your messages yesterday?”
“Messages?”
“Yeah. Look.”
Choi Sungbin, who had frozen at the messages sent by Yang Juwon, went into the messenger app. I didn’t check messenger often. A lot had come in over the past night.
Asking to go out for a drink, to go for a drive. Among the messages trying to escape a boring night, there was one from Hyena too. It stood out because of the name I had set myself.
‘A Hyena’
It was the name I had set, wishing she would be at the top of my messenger list.
Sungbinie-bini-bini.
Where r u. Let’s hang out.
Are u sleeping? T.T
Choi Sungbin read the messages without much sincerity and exited the chat room. I put my phone back in my pocket.
“Did you drink last night?”
“Yeah. I was drinking in Gangnam and was about to head to a hotel.”
“What would you have done without me.”
“You would have had to come over. You don’t drink anyway.”
It would have been a disaster if I had checked my messages. The day before, at the same time, Choi Sungbin had been rolling around on a hotel bed with Yeonhee.
No matter how much of a friend Hyena was, there were times when she was openly jealous. It wasn’t to the point of being uncomfortable. I, too, tended to find the light jealousy of a friend with benefits cute.
“Oh, right. Do you know that sunbae?”
“Who?”
“Yang Juwon sunbae.”
“Ah.”
An unexpected name came out of Hyena’s mouth. Choi Sungbin replied, pretending to be uninterested.
“Yeah. I know him. Why?”
“Don’t you think he looks really good after cutting his hair? All the kids are whispering about it. Why he went around with those curtains when he looked like that.”
“Ah. Is that so?”
“Yeah. What do you think?”
“Me. Well.”
As the one who told him to cut his hair, I could have felt proud, but I just felt indifferent. As expected, my eyes weren’t wrong. He did have a decent-looking face. The problem was his psycho behavior. That was about it.
I tilted my head from side to side, loosening my stiff neck. Speak of the devil. A familiar face entered the smoking area.
Yang Juwon stepped into the smoking area with his characteristic blunt expression. Choi Sungbin just raised his eyebrows. There was no reason for him to be here. He was a person who didn’t even smoke.
Hyena, not knowing anything, greeted Yang Juwon brightly.
“Hello!”
“Yeah.”
Hyena stated her student ID number and name. Yang Juwon’s reaction was simple. It was no different from usual.
“Ah. Right.”
Listening to the conversation between the unsociable Yang Juwon and Hyena, Choi Sungbin feigned indifference. He let out a puff of cigarette smoke and looked at a distant mountain.
Hyena raised her voice and tried her best to make a good impression on Yang Juwon. Nuna, that bastard is a psycho. Don’t get close to him. Choi Sungbin chewed on the cigarette filter.
He probably didn’t have a clue that this was the person who had interrupted them when they were rubbing their lips together a few weeks ago.
“Oppa, you should come to the upperclassmen drinking party next time. I don’t think we’ve ever had a drink together.”
“Okay.”
Yang Juwon just gave Hyena the same reply. Ah, uh, okay.
Yes! Hyena tapped on her phone, a cigarette between her fingers, as if she were going to set a date right away.
“When are you free?”
“You guys figure it out. I’m free anytime.”
He was surprisingly nonchalant. He looked like he couldn’t even exchange a single word with a woman, but he was different from what I had expected. He was blunt, not shy or naive.
Choi Sungbin stubbed out his cigarette. He slowly looked the man up and down. Come to think of it, the Hankuk University hoodie or the Public Administration department jacket he always wore were nowhere to be seen.
Even so, he was just as dark and gloomy. Like a black-and-white TV. Except for his slightly lighter hair color, everything was dark.
“If you don’t mind, could you give us some space. I have something to talk about with Choi Sungbin.”
“Sungbin?”
Even though I was feigning indifference, I could feel the gaze on me. Hyena’s eyes widened as she looked between the two of them. Choi Sungbin licked his lips, which had a bitter taste lingering on them. He gently wrapped an arm around Hyena’s shoulders.
“Nuna, just a moment.”
“Ah, uh, okay. Uh. Well. Anyway, Choi Sungbin, let’s see each other soon. I’ll contact you.”
“Yeah.”
As Hyena took her leave, looking back and forth between them, Yang Juwon filled the empty space. Only when the two of them were left alone could I finally look at him properly. Even though it wasn’t the clothes he always wore, there was nothing special about them.
An awkwardly sized black t-shirt and cotton pants with a seam on the side. He was the same as the usual Yang Juwon. I had seen those pants at least three times while meeting him.
“What is it?”
“What?”
“Are you planning to go to the drinking party?”
“She’s your friend. I want to get to know her too.”
A scoff escaped me at his absurd words. The fact that he was making plans, talking about friends, when I myself didn’t even drink, was just grating.
“Sunbae, do you really want to go to a place like that, knowing that people are talking shit about me? If I go, I’ll just be the main topic of gossip, won’t I?”
“Ah.”
“Or are you going to join in on the badmouthing?”
“It’s not like that.”
He really acts frustratingly. Looking at the man, my brow furrowed on its own. I stood facing the man with my weight on one leg.
“What will you do if I ask to meet you on the day of the drinking party?”
I tested the man who said he liked me. Yang Juwon blinked his eyes slowly a couple of times and then replied.
“I’ll come to you.”
He chose the right answer, separate from any liking or interest in him. The answer wasn’t bad. Choi Sungbin raised one corner of his mouth crookedly. He corrected his previously harsh attitude.
“So what did you want to talk about?”
“I was wondering what you were doing after class today.”
“Do we have to meet?”
“We promised to meet.”
“I finish at 6. Can we meet then?”
“Yeah.”
The man’s previously dazed eyes shone brightly today. A light gleamed in them.
Choi Sungbin nodded his head along with him. I didn’t know what he wanted, but I figured I could just play along and then move to a hotel.
“Come to the parking lot. By 6 o’clock.”
“Okay.”
📝
Although they had set the meeting time for 6 o’clock, Choi Sungbin himself couldn’t get out of the building until 6:30. After class, as he was packing his things, the professor suddenly asked him for a cup of tea and led him to his office.
The professor suggested that Choi Sungbin participate in a department program with him, but he refused with various excuses and came out. A good opportunity my ass, he was just trying to sweet-talk me into being his grunt and then drag me to graduate school.
Entering the parking lot, he checked his phone.
Where are you?
The message had arrived at most about 10 minutes ago.
‘He has a knack for waiting.’
Choi Sungbin sneered inwardly and headed into the parking lot. If I ignored his contact this time, would he just wait silently for four, five hours? But I had no intention of running away. It would only become more annoying.
Yang Juwon was standing still at the entrance of the parking lot. He was gripping the straps of his backpack, slung over his back, with both hands and looking down at the tips of his toes. With his back hunched over, he looked shorter than usual.
Ahem, Choi Sungbin deliberately made a sound. Since there was no one else in the parking lot, Yang Juwon immediately turned his head.
“……”
Choi Sungbin walked closer to the man. I didn’t want to make the excuse that I had been held up by the professor.
I had been saddled with an annoying task for feeling sorry, and if I added an excuse, he would definitely make another appointment.
“You’re late?”
“Yes.”
I just replied to the man who was indirectly asking for a reason.
“Let’s go.”
I passed the man and headed towards the car. The sound of footsteps following me continued. He didn’t come close. He kept a certain distance, taking steps as if we were walking our separate ways.
“Where are we going to eat?”
Choi Sungbin asked Yang Juwon as he fastened his seatbelt. Yang Juwon, who had already buckled his seatbelt, just moved his eyes to observe him.
“I wanted to go wherever you wanted to go.”
“Why?”
“Because you told me to do as you do with the other kids.”
Hearing those words again was annoying. Thinking it over, there was no reason why I should do that.
“Sunbae, you know.”
“Yeah.”
“You know you’re a bit shameless, right?”
Click, I fastened my seatbelt. Without looking at the man, I continued speaking while looking straight ahead.
“As for being late at night, you’re right, it’s something I should be sorry for, as you said. But I don’t see why I have to go on a date with you because of that. Isn’t it enough that we met in the end?”
I should have said this sooner, I took too long to get here. Yang Juwon replied with a short, Yeah. Did he get it? Only then did I shift my gaze.
Choi Sungbin immediately scowled. Again, that damn expression. For someone who understood what I said, he was far too calm.
“Then I’ll pay for the meal. So take me to a delicious place.”
He didn’t get it.
“Really, fuck……”
In the end, a curse slipped out. He was a person who just couldn’t understand what was being said. You can have a conversation if the other person understands. What kind of words could I exchange with a person like this, and what kind of date could I have.
I irritably pressed the button and started the engine.
📝
“I was so surprised you came so suddenly. I told you to contact me beforehand if you were coming, didn’t I?”
“I had a sudden dinner appointment. And you’d figure something out for me anyway, nuna.”
“This guy, really……. By the way, what’s this. Is it a date?”
“No.”
Choi Sungbin glanced behind him. Yang Juwon, who was hesitantly entering the restaurant, bowed his head.
Choi Sungbin liked this restaurant. It was a rather large Korean set-menu restaurant, and you had to make a reservation at least a couple of months in advance to be able to dine there. A person I had dated a few times was the owner of the restaurant, so if I explained the situation, she would quietly prepare a room for me.
She saw Yang Juwon following behind and her eyes widened.
“What’s with you hanging out with a friend? I’ve never seen you with a guy. Did your tastes change?”
“Don’t say things like that, not even as a joke.”
For the first time in a while, Choi Sungbin was stern with a woman. I tried lowering my voice, but it had no effect on the older woman who had been through thick and thin.
“Why. Your friend is handsome. What’s going on?”
“It just happened. Where should I go?”
“I’ll guide you. Your friend can follow me too.”
She took care of Yang Juwon, who was over my shoulder, and we moved together.
The room we were guided to was the perfect size for two people to have a meal. Since the restaurant was in the city center, the view from the window wasn’t great. It was just a four-lane road teeming with cars spewing exhaust fumes.
Yang Juwon stared blankly out the window, and Choi Sungbin picked up the menu. He scanned the menu before handing it over. For two people, the 240,000 won set was the best composition.
“Let’s get the 240,000 won one. That’s the best. Anything more expensive and we won’t be able to eat it because we’ll be too full.”
I handed the menu to Yang Juwon. His gaze, which had been on the window, finally scanned down the menu. His expression hardened as he read the menu items.
‘Here we go again.’
Choi Sungbin rested his crossed arms on the table. As I tapped the tabletop with my fingers, the man’s gaze, which had been staring intently at the menu, turned to me.
“What is it. Can’t you afford it this time either? But they don’t do single servings here.”
“Do you always come to places like this when you’re on a date?”
Yang Juwon asked, his voice lowered as if to prevent it from leaking out.
“If my partner wants to.”
“How do you know what they want?”
“They say let’s eat something delicious.”
“We went to a gukbap place last time.”
“It was 3 in the morning then.”
“If we had met earlier, would you have come?”
“No. Why would I come to a place like this and eat with you, sunbae. I can’t back out now. This place is hard to get a reservation for.”
Yang Juwon bit his lip gently. The burden of having to pay seemed to be great. Choi Sungbin found that sight annoying, but at the same time, it was also amusing.
Talking about buying a meal when he doesn’t even have this kind of money. How many more times does he have to go through this to give up. I felt like a laugh was about to escape, so I lowered my gaze.
“So pathetic……”
I muttered to myself and drank a cup of water. Yang Juwon closed the menu.
“Let’s eat.”
What’s with him. As I stared at the man, he steeled his resolve and bit his lip firmly. Choi Sungbin pressed the call bell without a reply.
While waiting for the server to come, I checked the man’s expression again, but nothing had changed much.
If even the way someone eats is annoying, it means you’re done with that person. Choi Sungbin forgot about eating and just watched the man.
He really… eats like a beggar.
Yang Juwon’s way of eating could be summed up in one word: ‘hastily’. He acted like someone who had starved for days. Or maybe he thought he had to eat his money’s worth.
“Did you starve?”
I finally opened my mouth. Yang Juwon, who had sauce on the corner of his mouth from taking a large bite of seasoned raw fish, raised his head.
“Huh?”
“Did you not eat lunch?”
“I did.”
“What?”
“At my place. Just. Whatever was there.”
“You have sauce on your mouth. Wipe it and then eat.”
“Ah, yeah.”
Yang Juwon pulled out a napkin and wiped his mouth. Then he focused on his meal again. Is it okay for someone who said he even ate lunch to be like this.
I didn’t know if he was being gluttonous or what, but seeing the way he ate, I couldn’t help but lose my appetite.
Thud, I put down my chopsticks with a sound. Yang Juwon, who flinched, lifted his chin again. He swallowed the contents without even chewing properly, his cheeks puffed out.
Even while being conscious of my gaze, he reached for a side dish.
“Why are you staring like that?”
“Why do you eat like that?”
“What?”
“Ah, come on. Eat like a human. Don’t you think about the person eating across from you?”
When I chided him, Yang Juwon finally put down his chopsticks. He smacked his lips and put his hands down. He didn’t seem to realize that that sight was even more annoying.
“Why do you eat like that?”
“This, is, the first time I’m eating something like this. Sorry.”
“Have you never eaten out with your parents?”
Yang Juwon’s brow twitched. Only then did it hit me. Was it a bit much to bring up his parents? Having nothing more to say, I gripped my earlobe.
A date, a meal. It was bound to end up like this anyway. We weren’t facing each other with good feelings, so how could good words come out. I ran a hand through my hair in frustration.
Yang Juwon, who had been sitting calmly, rinsed his mouth with water.
“We don’t eat out much. We usually eat at home.”
“……”
“Sorry if it was bothersome. But this place is really delicious. Thanks for bringing me here.”
Yang Juwon showed a slight smile, just the corners of his mouth turning up. Choi Sungbin didn’t answer and just drank his water. I was the one who brought up the man’s parents, but I was also the one whose mood was ruined.
I had no memory of eating a home-cooked meal. It was the same when I lived with my family. We ate out, ordered delivery, or sometimes food bought from a store was spread out on the table, presented as a home-cooked meal.
Even that ended by the time I was in middle school, and from high school onwards, I lived alone. The quality of food was bound to decline.
Even though his appetite was gone, Choi Sungbin picked up his chopsticks. He picked up a piece of mung bean jelly seasoned with seaweed and tucked his chin.
“Just eat. We’re moving to another place after we finish eating quickly.”
📝
“I think we came here last time too.”
Yang Juwon said carefully, looking around the hotel room. He had been looking around constantly since he first came in, and it seemed he was only sure after coming back from the bathroom.
“Yes.”
Choi Sungbin, who was sitting on the bed, answered insincerely without even looking at him. His gaze was only on his phone.
Yeonhee had called about two hours ago, but I couldn’t call her back because I was having dinner with Yang Juwon.
Why did you call?
After sending the message, I put my phone down on the nightstand. Belatedly, I shifted my gaze to Yang Juwon. I wiggled the tips of my toes, which were stretched out on the bed.
Yang Juwon, who was standing there with an awkward face, fiddled with his earlobe. He surveyed the room once more.
“Do you deliberately book only this room?”
“No. I paid for a whole year. I can come and rest whenever I want.”
“Ah.”
“Sit.”
Choi Sungbin gestured with his chin to Yang Juwon, who was mumbling his reply. Yang Juwon hesitated before taking a step. He perched on the edge of the bed. His questioning voice was cautious.