ABM CH 6

Episode 6: A Drama Is Just A Drama

It was already May by the time the mid terms exams, which started a bit late due to school circumstances, were over. Woo Yeonho, who didn’t seem to study a lot, once again secured the top spot in the entire school, just like in his first year. The homeroom teacher seemed to be in a good mood as the class average had gone up thanks to Woo Yeonho’s score.

Earlier, I overheard some students saying that our class average was higher than the next class’s, and the teacher had teased the other class’s teacher about it, saying something about finally getting over a long-standing grudge. It was so childish. 

Anyway, the homeroom teacher showered Woo Yeonho with praise and even bought burgers for the whole class. Even though Woo Yeonho who was the one who played the biggest role in raising the average didn’t eat anything.

I thought he could easily eat two or three burgers because of his frame, but maybe he doesn’t like fast food. I took a big bite of my burger, chewing as I mentally noted down this new piece of information.

‘Woo Yeonho doesn’t like burgers.’

But today, Woo Yeonho didn’t seem to be in a good mood. Even this morning, he didn’t start any conversations and didn’t sit in front of me during break time except for saying hello to me. 

Normally, he has a smile on his face even when he’s just sitting still, but today there was a cold air about him. Seeing him like that, I couldn’t help but feel anxious for the others hovering around him.

‘What if Woo Yeonho suddenly blows up?’

If that happens, even Woo Yeonho might end up being disliked by the other students. Would he laugh at me if he knew I was worried about that? He probably thinks he can handle it on his own.

Actually, it might be better if he really did blow up and scared all those pesky flies away from him. Then he wouldn’t be bothered, and I wouldn’t have to worry about him getting angry.

‘And also… And also…’

I wouldn’t be disappointed or hate you even if you show your true self. I can accept it all. I would, because I already know the real you.

Only I do.

***

Even by the time school ended, Woo Yeonho’s mood hadn’t improved, and all I could think about was hoping he’d feel better over the weekend. It hadn’t been that long, but somehow, I had already grown used to Woo Yeonho talking to me and touching me, so the distance felt awkward. It was entirely up to Woo Yeonho whether the distance between us grew or shrank both in the past and the present.

I was still thinking about Woo Yeonho, even though I was getting tired of being hit by crowds of students on the bus ride home. I then felt my phone vibrate briefly in my hand.

I thought it was my sister was asking me to buy something again, so I didn’t want to check, but then I remembered how she’d keep pestering me all weekend if I didn’t, so I reluctantly lifted my hand and looked at the screen.

A number that I had saved but never once dialed with my own hands appeared on my phone screen.

[It’s your birthday tomorrow, right?]  

[Why didn’t you tell me?]

The message was from Woo Yeonho.

It was the first time he had ever sent me a message. Just like how I had no reason to call him, Woo Yeonho had never called or messaged me before either. I couldn’t bring myself to call him, but I had still marked his number as a favorite and looked at it several times each night before bed. 

So, it was surprising to realize that Woo Yeonho had kept my number saved in his phone and even more unbelievable that he had reached out to me today, despite his bad mood.

When I didn’t respond right away, Woo Yeonho sent another message, as if to urge me to reply: [Seungwoo yah].

Even his messages were kind. It was strange to feel this way from just a few messages.

‘Oh, right, my birthday. Is tomorrow really my birthday?’

As I checked the calendar on my phone and counted the days, I remembered that my mom had asked me this morning if I had any plans for tomorrow. When I said no, she suggested we go out for a family dinner.

So it was because of my birthday.

‘But how did Woo Yeonho know it was my birthday?’

I quickly replied to Woo Yeonho: [Yeah, that’s right].

As soon as I sent it, the “1” indicating an unread message disappeared, which meant that Woo Yeonho had been looking at our chat window. Somehow, that made me feel a little happy. 

No, it made me really happy, like Woo Yeonho was constantly looking at me. I waited for his next message.

Woo Yeonho sent a yellow smiling emoji and then followed it with a short message:  

[Do you have any plans tomorrow?]

Just as I was surprised by Woo Yeonho’s unexpected question, the bus, packed with people like a can of bean sprouts, suddenly came to an abrupt stop. The bus driver seemed to be shouting something, but buried among the people, I couldn’t make it out clearly. 

Losing my balance, I ended up bumping my face into the bag of the person in front of me. After rubbing my squished nose and apologizing to the bag’s owner, I returned my attention to Woo Yeonho’s message.

‘Plans? Why is he asking this? Does he want to meet up? Because it’s my birthday tomorrow?’

No. That can’t be.

Woo Yeonho didn’t seem like the type to bother with trivial things like remembering someone’s birthday. The thought of him actually caring about someone else’s birthday was unimaginable.

Well, there were times when he’d say something to acknowledge someone’s birthday in class, but it was always with great reluctance. 

In any case, just because Woo Yeonho gave me his number, ate lunch with me, and kept touching me didn’t mean I was suddenly someone special to him—special enough that he’d remember my birthday.

I wasn’t naive enough to think that I was receiving something that even those who called themselves Woo Yeonho’s friends didn’t get. Surely, he must have forgotten to tell me something or maybe he was planning to tease me again.

But even imagining it made me feel light and giddy.

The idea of Woo Yeonho saying, “Happy birthday, Seungwoo yah,” with a sweet smile and giving me a hug—or even a kiss… 

‘Get a grip, Park Seungwoo.’

I shook my head, trying to dispel the pleasant fantasy. It took me a while to snap out of it, realizing just how far my thoughts had wandered.

‘Maybe if I bumped my head into that bag in front of me again, I’d snap out of it?’

But then a more serious thought crossed my mind.

‘My family is supposed to go out for dinner tomorrow…’

There hadn’t been any specific plans made—no time or place mentioned—but even if it weren’t my birthday, we usually went out for family dinners two or three times a month.

So, tomorrow’s plans didn’t seem particularly special, but still, a plan is a plan, right?

‘Should I say that I have plans?’

Somehow, I didn’t want to say I didn’t have any. Up until now, whether or not I had plans on my birthday never really mattered to me, and I never paid much attention to it. But the moment Woo Yeonho asked, I felt a strange sense of pride—like if I told him I had no plans, he’d scoff and say, “Of course, you wouldn’t.”

‘What if he thinks I’m some friendless loser?’

What if he decides that I’m not even worth teasing anymore and stops talking to me? What if he deletes my number from his phone?

[Yeah, I have plans]

[Oh… Are you going somewhere nice?]

[Just going to have dinner]

[Haha, what are you going to eat?]

[Idk]

[Why do you not know? You should eat something good]

My screen was filled with messages from Woo Yeonho, and my mouth kept twitching into a smile, so I bit down on my lower lip to keep it from showing.

Why is Woo Yeonho being so kind to me? …No, no. Maybe this is just how he normally is… Which would be even worse, right? What if his girlfriend misunderstands? If I were Woo Yeonho’s girlfriend, I’d feel really bad about this. I’d immediately confront him and tell him to delete everything, and make sure he doesn’t act so sweet to anyone else.

‘If it were me. If I were… If I were Woo Yeonho’s girlfriend…’

Even though it was an unrealistic fantasy, I didn’t feel sad about it. After all, Woo Yeonho didn’t have a girlfriend right now, so there was no immediate threat of my contact being deleted from his phone.

Just then, the name of my stop came over the bus speakers. The bus, which had felt like a packed sardine can while I was texting with Woo Yeonho, had now thinned out. I quickly pressed the stop button and prepared to get off through the rear door. 

As I checked the chat again, I noticed that while Woo Yeonho was being sweet and trying to keep the conversation going, my responses were pretty lackluster.

‘…Am I coming off as rude?’

He might think I’m being dismissive. He went out of his way to contact me, after all. If I keep responding like this, he might not reach out again…

Panicking, I quickly sent a more thoughtful reply.

[Yeah, I’ll make sure to eat something delicious.]

‘That should be good enough, right? Maybe I should’ve added one of those emojis my dad likes to use.’

As I stepped off the bus, I opened the emoji menu and scrolled through it. I’d never used them before, so I didn’t realize there were so many. Among them were the ones Woo Yeonho had used earlier and some bizarre ones that my mom always hated when my dad used them. While I was deciding, Woo Yeonho, who had been quiet for a while, suddenly replied.

[And make sure to eat some cake too.]

It seemed that Woo Yeonho thought I liked cake because of some snacks I’d happened to eat before. It would be weird to correct his misunderstanding now, so I replied as sincerely as I could.

[Yeah, I’ll have some cake too.]

[What kind of cake are you going to have?]

‘Cake is cake. Does the type really matter?’

I frowned, trying to recall the different types of cake. Then I remembered the chocolate cake that Woo Yeonho had brought to school one morning.

‘It must have been a gift. I wonder who gave it to him?’

Judging by the packaging, it didn’t seem like it was store-bought. Whoever it was probably liked Woo Yeonho and was trying to confess through the trouble of making it.

‘Poor thing. Woo Yeonho isn’t the type to fall in love over something like that.’

The rich, bitter-sweet taste of the chocolate cake that Woo Yeonho had fed me came back to me.

[Chocolate cake.]

[Good choice. Don’t forget to make a wish too.]

That was the last message from Woo Yeonho. I replied with a simple [Okay.], but the “1” next to the message didn’t disappear.

I figured he must be busy with something and went straight home. After washing up, I devoured the spicy braised ribs that Mom had made, calling it a pre-birthday treat. The food was so fiery that I was still feeling the heat, so I nursed an ice cream to cool down. Later, my second older sister roped me into watching a drama until late at night. 

In the drama, the child actors appeared, wearing school uniforms that looked similar to ours. They played their roles flawlessly. The main characters in the show, who were barely in their teens, fell deeply in love and acted as if their world would end if one of them died. 

Their romance, which lasted just a little over a month, was portrayed with such intensity and longing that it seemed impossible even for adults to experience something like that. I doubted I could ever feel that way.

If Woo Yeonho were to die, I’d probably just feel a little sad and move on. 

Even if I could never see his beautiful smile or hear his gentle voice again. 

Even if I could no longer witness the side of Woo Yeonho that only I knew. 

I’d eventually forget and go on with my life. And the same would be true for Woo Yeonho.

But I didn’t understand why that thought made me feel so sad.