ABM CH 8

Chapter 8: A Sort of Happy Birthday

‘Woo Yeonho called me?’

When did that happen? Could it be that he accidentally pressed the call button and hung up within a second? Should I call him back? Would he answer if I did? Is he asleep right now? I wonder what his voice would sound like. 

‘I want to hear his voice. I miss him.’

Before I knew it, I was crying uncontrollably. Even though I’d see him at school, just seeing the missed call made me realize how much I missed him in just one day.

I lacked the courage to call him back, so I clutched my phone tightly, sniffling and wiping my nose, and entered the chat with Woo Yeonho. I scrolled through the few messages we had exchanged, reviewing each one. The last message I sent, “Yeah,” had disappeared as if he had seen it.

Oh, and I didn’t get to eat the cake. I didn’t make a wish either.

‘If I had made a wish, would it have come true?’

…Probably not. I lay slowly on my bed, staring at the only light in the dark room—the glow of my phone screen. I made a mental note of Woo Yeonho’s number.

‘Just one more call.’

Just one more. It’s not fair to make just one call and give up if he doesn’t answer. He should understand, right?

…No, Woo Yeonho did nothing wrong. I’m the problem. Why didn’t I keep a better eye on my phone?

‘Why didn’t I check in the middle…’

It’s really Dad and my sisters’ fault. If they hadn’t dragged me out for dinner and karaoke, I wouldn’t have missed Woo Yeonho’s call. I started to resent the three of them, who were probably drunk and asleep by now.

‘What if Woo Yeonho is upset that I didn’t answer his call?’

He wouldn’t think I ignored him on purpose, right? Oh no, what if he does? Should I quickly reassure him that it wasn’t intentional?

‘By the time I tell him at school, it might be too late…’

As I thought about this, the darkened screen suddenly brightened again, displaying Woo Yeonho’s name in large letters.

Woo Yeonho called again!

Without a second thought, I jumped up, sat down and answered the phone immediately.

“H-hello!”

As soon as I spoke, Woo Yeonho’s deep, warm laugh came through. It seemed like I picked up the phone too quickly. Woo Yeonho said “Hi,” and his voice, coming through the phone, sounded even lower and more languid than usual.

Is it because it’s nighttime? I quickly apologized for missing his earlier call.

“I-I’m sorry… That I missed your call earlier…”

—Yeah. It sounds like you were having so much fun that you didn’t even notice the call.

“No… not really… It wasn’t fun.”

—Liar.

“R-Really… I don’t like singing.”

I clamped my mouth shut, as if Woo Yeonho were right in front of me. I was unconsciously looking around for his reaction.

‘Why am I saying I don’t like singing? He didn’t even ask about that.’

Woo Yeonho didn’t ask, and he probably doesn’t care. 

‘What if he’s put off by me mentioning something he didn’t even ask about?’

If that’s the case, he might hang up, saying it’s boring. There’s no guarantee I’ll get another chance to talk to him, and this might be the last chance…

I couldn’t mess up this precious call. I needed to make it last a little longer.

How should I do that? What should I say to make Woo Yeonho want to keep talking to me?

—……….

Woo Yeonho didn’t respond, maybe because he thought that I hadn’t finished talking yet. Not knowing whether he was bored or just waiting for me to finish talking made me even more anxious. I tried to speak as steadily as possible, but I ended up stuttering and trailing off.

“So… It was not that fun. I-I’m being serious…”

—So, you didn’t have fun because you don’t like singing?

Woo Yeonho pinched my words and repeated them. His tone, oddly soothing and almost like he was trying to comfort a child, made my whole body tingle, even though his voice came through the phone.

‘He’s so sweet…’

Woo Yeonho’s voice was just like the actors in dramas or movies who play roles that shower affection on their loved ones. I knew it was just an illusion, but even knowing that, I couldn’t defend against it. Especially, my heart—or maybe just my chest—felt unbearably ticklish, so I scratched the area vigorously. I rubbed my face hard against the damp pillow from the tears and bit my lips until they almost cracked.

‘I want to keep hearing this.’

If my phone had a recording feature, I would have secretly recorded this call and listened to it every day. Since Woo Yeonho’s tenderness wouldn’t last long anyway, it seemed like a harmless thing to do.

—Seungwoo yah?

I absentmindedly messed up my hair as if Woo Yeonho had touched it and carefully chose my words while fidgeting with my fingers.

“Y-yeah… My dad and sisters liked it… But I didn’t want to go…”

—Oh, you went there with your family? I thought you were hanging out with friends.

“Huh? Oh… On my birthday… I usually spend it with my family…”

I didn’t even know what I was saying. Only after I blurted it out did I realize my mistake.

I had responded so firmly about having plans that if I said I spent it with my family, Woo Yeonho would definitely laugh at me. He might even be doing that now, thinking it’s strange for someone with no friends to have plans. Stupid Park Seungwoo. Why was I being so stubborn when it was bound to be discovered?

‘He said he didn’t like lying. I wonder what he thinks of me?’

But contrary to my worries, Woo Yeonho didn’t seem to be annoyed or displeased.

‘Phew, thank goodness.’

The coldness in my chest warmed up a little. As soon as I relaxed, I sniffled from the lingering effect of earlier tears. Naturally, Woo Yeonho, who hadn’t heard the messy noise thanks to my phone falling a bit, asked as kindly as ever.

—What else did you do after the karaoke?

“Uh… That’s it… Dad suggested going to an arcade, but… he was too drunk, so we just came home.”

—Seems like your dad had a good time on your birthday.

It wasn’t really like that. My family didn’t get particularly happy or anything extra for someone’s birthday; they just generally enjoyed having fun. But it felt strange to say that, so I forgot about the call and just nodded, quickly adding, “I guess so.”

—How about dinner? Did you have anything delicious?

“Steak and… um… ribs and meat pie and…”

—You must like meat a lot.

“Uh… I mean, I do like it, but… I like all kinds of food without being picky.”

—It’s surprising you’re so small with all that. Where does it all go?

“…I’m not small……..”

I answered with a bit of defensiveness. I thought I was average-sized. 

“Maybe it’s just that you’re unreasonably big.”

—I’ll take that as a compliment.

And then Woo Yeonho’s pleasant laughter came through.

Talking on the phone was a bit odd. If we were face-to-face, I’d definitely only give responses like “yeah,” “no,” “right,” or “okay.” But with just his voice over the phone, it felt like I could talk endlessly.

After that, Woo Yeonho asked kindly about my day, and I shared all the little details of what happened with him. I mentioned how I had forgotten to eat cake, so I couldn’t make a wish, and talked about the presents from my sisters and the seaweed soup packed with meat.

Even though I thought it was childish and insignificant, Woo Yeonho didn’t treat any of it casually. He always asked follow-up questions and showed genuine interest in what I had to say.

I realized one more reason why Woo Yeonho was so popular. Whether it was genuine or not, he made others feel comfortable, made them rely on him, and wanted more from him.

There must be so many people who like Woo Yeonho in the world. Even people who meet him for the first time would probably feel affection for him. And those people would, just like me, desire affection that never returns.

‘I’m sure it’s like me…’

I hesitated for a moment, then decided to try imitating Woo Yeonho. It felt awkward and wasn’t quite the same, but I managed to introduce a new topic of conversation.

“Um… so, what did you do?”

Even as I asked, my heart raced. 

Wasn’t this an opportunity to learn about a side of Woo Yeonho that wasn’t at school? What had he been doing? Was he studying? Or perhaps he’d gone somewhere with his friends? 

He might have slept a lot, or spent time with his family, just like I did. But the answer Woo Yeonho gave was completely unexpected.

—I have been thinking about contacting you all day.

“……..Huh?”

—I didn’t want to disturb you if you were having fun.

“…Ah… no… um… well…”

—And you broke again. Don’t break when I’m not around. I can’t fix you.

Woo Yeonho said playfully.

‘Ah, even his jokes are really… strange…’

I could feel the heat rising to the back of my neck and collapsed onto my pillow, burying my face in it. The pillow was still damp from earlier.

‘Ah, it’s so fortunate that Woo Yeonho can’t see my face right now.’

If he could see it, he’d surely notice that I like him.

‘If he knew… would he treat me the same way?’

He might even avoid and dislike me. I knew Woo Yeonho had received confessions from other guys, but I didn’t know how he had reacted to them. Even gossiping Kim Jungwoo hadn’t shared that detail.

But just like Kim Jungwoo, who asked if I was gay not too long ago, I was sure that Woo Yeonho’s reaction wouldn’t be positive either.

How many people in the world would accept a man liking another man? Even I wouldn’t. So I absolutely didn’t want my feelings to be discovered. 

Absolutely not.

But, Woo Yeonho, who was not aware of my condition, didn’t stop at just one verse. He seemed determined to make my heart burst.

—Your face must be really cute right now.

“……….”

—I want to kiss you.

“………”

—Can I?

“…How…”

Is he being serious? No, he’s definitely joking. Is he bored today?

I didn’t want to think about it anymore. I just wanted to immerse myself in Woo Yeonho’s lighthearted words.

‘There are only 5 minutes left, but it’s my birthday today.’

Woo Yeon-ho fell silent for a moment. Then a very faint sound was heard.

—Smooch!

Is he really kissing the phone? Is he crazy? It’s so cute!

—Seungwoo yah.

While I was pounding the pillow I had buried my face in, Woo Yeonho softly said my name. 

That one word Woo Yeonho uttered afterward sounded so sweet. 

—Happy birthday.