ABM CH19

Chapter 19: I Wish a Machine That Could Let Me Sleep for 10 Years Would Be Invented

I don’t know how it happened, but somehow the movie theater turned into my house. As soon as I heard it, the thought of wanting to go there came to mind before any other worries.

‘Wouldn’t the whole place be filled with just pictures of Woo Yeonho?’

Just like how our house was overtaken by family photos, I imagine that the entrance wall would be covered in photos of Yeonho, and the living room would be filled with childhood pictures of him. 

Among those many photos, there might be an unbearably cute baby Woo Yeonho, or Woo Yeonho crawling while surrounded by dolls as cute as himself. Maybe kindergarten Woo Yeonho would be smiling, showing his front teeth that were missing, just like me at that time. No matter how handsome Woo Yeonho is, he couldn’t avoid losing his baby teeth.

Thinking of that made me smile, so I pressed my lips together tightly and bit the inside of my cheek.

‘What would Yeonho’s room look like?’

Would it be ordinary like my room, or would it be decorated like the rooms I’ve seen in dramas?

It might just have a bed in the middle of an empty room.

Since he said he likes movies, there would probably be DVDs related to movies, and because he’s smart, there would be plenty of books on a bookshelf. 

Maybe even elementary or middle school graduation albums would be stuck in there. Would middle school Woo Yeonho’s hair have been shorter than now? Of course, he would have been shorter too, and his voice…

It probably wouldn’t have been as sweet as it is now, right around the time of his voice change.

‘…I wonder if he still laughed a lot back then?’

Would he have broken someone’s heart with his acting, which could rival that of an actor, while smiling prettily?

Maybe not. Back then, he probably couldn’t play soccer well, and could only barely play the Chopsticks song on the piano. Well, if he was that ordinary, he wouldn’t have gotten confessions three times a month.

‘Would he show it to me if I asked?’

It’s not that important, so he probably would show it. Yes, if I ever go to Woo Yeonho’s house, I’ll ask to see his albums first. And if there’s an elementary school album, that too. If there’s anything else, I’ll ask for that too.

Until now, I’d never thought about wanting to visit Woo Yeonho’s house, but now that I have the chance, I can think of dozens of reasons to go. And no, it’s not because of the chocolate Woo Yeonho mentioned.

I’m not the kind of kid who gets lured by things like that, but Woo Yeonho didn’t seem to say it casually. He said if I didn’t like chocolate, we could buy cake instead with a soft smile, while slowly swinging the hand he was holding.

I just quietly looked at the hand.

‘Shouldn’t I tell him one day?’

That I don’t really like chocolate or cake, so you shouldn’t give it to me. Because of him giving me those things, I’ve been brushing my teeth six times a day and gargling regularly, but I still feel like I’m going to get cavities, and it makes me uncomfortable.

‘Ah, but if I say that, would he just give it to someone else instead?’

…I don’t want that.

As I was thinking this, I looked up again, and through Woo Yeonho’s shoulder, I saw two buses pulling up side by side at the bus stop. The kids from our class, who had been crowded around earlier, split up and got on buses heading to their homes. After the buses left, only one or two kids remained.

Watching the buses leave, I suddenly wondered if this might be Woo Yeonho’s last whim.

Or maybe his final prank.

If not, when we get to his house, the kids who boarded those buses might all be there, and Woo Yeonho could be standing amidst them, laughing at me for being caught in the middle.

When the others ask him, Woo Yeonho would probably say something like, “I just invited him out of courtesy, but he came right away,” and—

The others will mock me for being clueless.

Although Woo Yeonho had been kind to me until now—who kissed me, gave me food, asked for compliments, adorably begged for rewards, sent me bored texts just to seem endearing—he might reveal that all of it had been to make fun of me. That it was all a joke.

Then, he’d declare that everything was over now and tell me to delete his photos and number from my phone.

While savoring the fun of watching me agonize over this, he’d think it was worth bringing me along. And kids like that chatterbox Kim Jungwoo or Yoon Heureum, whom Woo Yeonho had once rejected, might sneer at me too.

I’d seen scenarios like this play out in movies and dramas before.

My younger sister, who watched with me, once scolded me, saying I should never follow anyone into such a situation. “You’d probably fall for it every time, wouldn’t you?”

Even just imagining Woo Yeonho’s face laughing at me with amusement made my legs feel weak. My head, which had been floating with nervous excitement, suddenly felt grounded again. After all, that seemed much more plausible.

‘So asking to see a movie out of nowhere—it must have been part of this all along, huh? But I was too naive, getting excited and even asking if he liked movies. How ridiculous must I have looked?’

“We’re just going to watch a movie. I won’t do anything else, okay?”

Yeonho’s words suddenly intruded into my jumbled thoughts.

I’m sorry, but I’ve seen right through your plan. So why don’t you just say it here?

I wanted to say something like that, to call him out, but no words came out of my mouth. It was like they were right on the edge, ready to fall, yet refusing to drop. It didn’t matter if he was lying to me or just teasing me—I just didn’t want him to actually say it was all true.

“Seungwoo, do you realize everything you’re thinking shows on your face?”

“…?”

“Why does it seem like you only ever think bad things when you’re with me?”

As he said that, Woo Yeonho laced his fingers through mine, intertwining them completely. His grip was so firm that there was no way to escape—it left me with no choice but to let my fingertips twitch helplessly.

“I feel so happy when I’m with you.”

Stop lying. It’s all an act. You’re just teasing me. You’ll say it’s all been a joke any moment now…

And yet, my heart fluttered, completely betraying me.

Seriously? After all this time, my heart decides to betray me like this? Knowing everything, and I’m still falling for this?

Woo Yeonho was a guy who couldn’t possibly be good for my heart. If there were a competition where lying convincingly was the only skill needed to win, Woo Yeonho would take home the grand prize without even trying.

Who could doubt him, looking at him speak like that?

Only I knew it was all an act, because I was the one being teased. Of course he’d feel happy—it must be so much fun for him to toy with me like this.

“It’s why I can’t help smiling every time I see you.”

So that’s it. It’s fun for him to mess with me. That’s why—

“I like you, Seungwoo.”

…because it’s fun for him…

“…Huh…?”

***

「“I like you, Seungwoo.”」

「“…Huh…?”」

「“What about you, Seungwoo? Do you like me?”」

What is all this? Woo Yeonho likes me? That can’t be true. There’s no way… no way…

Right. Of all people, Woo Yeonho liking me? It’s the most absurd thing in the world. This has to be another one of his jokes meant to tease me. I almost fell for it and asked, “Me? You like me?”

If I had asked that, how pathetic would I have looked?

By tomorrow at school, the whole place would be buzzing with rumors. I need to respond properly this time—not like that awkward answer I gave last time. I should just say no outright. I’ll also tell him that the weird response I gave before was just because I was caught off guard. And then I’ll firmly ask him to stop playing this kind of joke on me.

I’ve thought this over a million times, but in the end, I’ve never actually said it.

That’s why he keeps pulling these stunts.

Woo Yeonho is really mean. Sometimes he acts like an angel, and other times he’s like the devil. He’s so good at leading around people who like him, like it’s second nature to him, but I’m the only one who knows that about him.

Suddenly, I remembered that time when Yeonho told me I was perceptive.

He asked how I could tell he was annoyed that day. What kind of expression did he have then? Did he look upset that I noticed? Or was it more like…

Ugh, that’s not the point right now. Anyway, I’m the only one who knows the real Yeonho, so I need to keep my wits about me.

「“Tell me, Seungwoo. Do you like me?”」

「“…Y-yeah…”」

Wait, what? No! I didn’t mean to answer like that. I need to say no—quickly!

「“I like you.”」

…Yeonho, why are you smiling like that? Why do you look so happy? I just told you I like you. Doesn’t that make you uncomfortable? Isn’t it weird for a guy to like another guy? Shouldn’t you be saying it’s gross, like Kim Jungwoo did? Shouldn’t you tell me you knew all along and then pull away from me? Shouldn’t you be calling out to the others hiding nearby to laugh at me together? So why…?

「“You don’t just like my face, right?”」

「“N-no…!”」

「“Really? You sure?”」

「“…Uh… um…”」

「“Hmm?”」

「…T-that too, I guess… Ah… too close.」

「Hahaha, you like my face that much? What’s so great about it?」

「…It’s pretty.」

「Good thing it’s pretty, then. I’m glad it suits your taste, Seungwoo.」

Saying things that could easily be misunderstood like it’s nothing—that was Woo Yeonho’s specialty. That’s why I shouldn’t read into those words. They don’t mean anything. I shouldn’t dwell on them.

I don’t need to try to understand…

Even though I know all of this, my heart still pounds like this. How must the others, who don’t know him as well as I do, feel when they hear him say something like that? 

Just a single word from him calling their name could send tingles through their stomachs, and they might feel like they’re floating, weightless, just from being near him.

And if he holds their hand tightly like this, answers their words so kindly, and even says he likes them… wouldn’t they want to pretend they didn’t know the truth? Wouldn’t they want to act like they’ve been fooled just to hold onto the moment a little longer?

Wouldn’t they want to say all the things they’ve been holding back, as if nothing else matters anymore?

Wouldn’t they want to confirm if Woo Yeonho really likes them back?

And after confirming, wouldn’t they want to fully bask in his affection without restraint?

Wouldn’t they want to be greedy for Yeonho’s love, imagining his affection for some hypothetical girlfriend who might not even exist?

But me…

I—I want Yeonho to love me.

I want to monopolize his attention and affection.

「…」

What a ridiculous dream.

Even though it was only a dream, my heart is still racing as if it really happened.

I can’t remember much of what happened yesterday… Could it be that the dream wasn’t just a dream?

My eyes felt damp, and soon after, water trickled into my ears. Just when I thought the tears had stopped, they started flowing again.

If it was just a dream anyway, maybe I should’ve asked. Then, since it was a dream, he might’ve answered that he really did like me.

Dream Woo Yeonho was kinder than the real one, and he truly liked me, so there’s no way it could’ve been a joke.

They say science has come a long way, but why hasn’t anyone invented a machine that lets you fall back asleep? I wish I could sleep and dream for about 10 years. Maybe after dreaming that long, I’d get tired of Woo Yeonho, and these feelings would all disappear.