BB Ch 36

When I woke up, I was lying down in a place I had never seen before.

I blinked my eyes and thought about where I was, then slowly got up.

It was a big room. There was a television, a refrigerator, and an additional bed. I would have assumed it was a hotel room if I hadn’t noticed the plaque “Omega Center” on the wall.

As I went through my memories, I remembered that the last thing I saw was Choi Sung-hoon’s face, which had been distorted by anxiety and nervousness. And I remembered all the nonsense I’d told him.

Perhaps I should jump off now. What floor is this?

It was uncomfortable to move because of the IV stuck in my arm. When I looked at it, I noticed something strange.

It was an IV. But what was the significance of the test line on my stomach? It was linked to a large machine, and on the machine’s screen was something resembling a heartbeat curve graph.

What was it?

Wouldn’t I be dying if that was my heartbeat graph?

I blinked and felt my lower abdomen.

At that moment, there was a commotion outside the door.

“…So, just in case don’t give it any affection, ah…” 

The doctor looked at me and stopped talking with a bewildered look on his face. Choi Sung-hoon, who looks bigger and more vicious today, appeared behind him.

“You woke up.”

Choi Sung-hoon approached me right away. He sat down on the chair next to the bed and gently pushed my shoulder to make me lie down again.

“You woke up earlier than expected.”

“What time is it now…?”

“About three hours have passed.”

Choi Sung-hoon looked angry. He wasn’t even emitting pheromones, but a vicious and terrifying energy arose. A middle-aged doctor with glasses and a nurse with several carts could not approach.

Now that I look at it, Choi Sung-hoon’s chin was rough. The hair that had always been neatly raised was also down. He wasn’t wearing a suit or shoes, and the scar on his cheek seemed to have turned a brighter red. Choi Sung-hoon covered my hand with heavy energy.

“Seo-yu ssi, do you remember the last call?”

“Yes, I guess I was a little drunk and drunk. I’m always doing embarrassing things in front of Choi Sung-hoon ssi…”

“Do you know who I am marrying?”

“…”

I don’t know. It must be a dominant Omega, right?

I pouted my lips.

“I don’t know who it is, but congratulations. I heard you’re expecting, so I wish you a happy family. I’m not going to hold you back.”

“It is you.”

“You? His name is a bit unique.”

“Seo-yu ssi, it’s you.”

Choi Sung-hoon flexed his tangled fingers. The black eyes were staring at me. His eyes appeared to be filled with pain.

I asked blankly.

“What do you mean?”

“I had no idea you’d think that while I’m doing something unusual for me just because you requested a unique marriage proposal.”

Choi Sung-hoon’s voice was rough. He swept his hair roughly.

“Do your best.”

“…”

“How the hell do you operate that little head to think of me as such an asshole?”

I couldn’t understand. What he’s talking about…

Was he teasing me? Maybe it was a dream.

It sounds like you were going to marry me.

I muttered timidly.

“What did I do… It’s more foolish to think that your sex partner might propose to you…” 

“… A sex partner?”

Choi Sung-hoon took a deep breath and repeated his words, “Sex partner?” Meanwhile, he was clutching my hand like it was the last rope.

“I just… thought I had no idea where this relationship was going to go.”

The scarred cheeks twitched. He glared at me like a raging fire.

“I was having a crush on you.”

He then cursed lowly.

Shit, it was truly mind-blowing.

He was cursing, oh my god. He cursed at me. The sexy curse came into my ear first and followed by the recognition of the content.

You had a crush on someone?

One-sided love?

My heart was pounding. The doctor who was looking at the screen inside the machine came quickly.

“Sir, don’t get too excited. I understand the frustration, but it’s not good for your pregnant body.”

The doctor pointed to the screen and stopped it. I blinked at the doctor.

“You have to be careful. Even when choosing a word, you should refrain from cursing…” 

“… ”

Choi Sung-hoon frowned without answering.

He didn’t even look at the charts the doctor pushed in. He was just looking at me.

He seemed to be attempting to calm my excitement in some way. My big heart swelled and then subsided.

I slowly drove the excitement away. I tried to find a reason.

I think the doctor just said pregnant.

What the hell was going on?

I could only come to one conclusion.

“Choi Seong-hoon ssi… Are you pregnant?”

“How…”

Choi Sung-hoon’s voice rose.

“How do you come up with ideas like that?”

As his voice grew louder, the doctor approached him and said, “No, Director. Please calm down,” he advised. Choi Sung-hoon spits out curse words. The nurse next to me informed me.

“Seo-yu, pregnant, it seems to have been about 11 weeks. The placenta is very small, so you need to do a detailed examination at the exact time.”

“I’m pregnant?”

“Yes, you’re pregnant.”

“No way… I don’t think so.”

I put my hand on my belly and explained that there had been a misunderstanding. Choi Sung-hoon looked at me, intent on hearing what I was trying to say again.

“I’ve been taking contraceptives regularly, so I won’t be able to get pregnant.”

“Contraceptive pills?”

“Contraceptive pills?”

The doctor and Choi Sung-hoon both spoke at the same time. They made eye contact. Choi Sung-hoon exhaled “Haa,” as if disheartened.

“You were taking contraceptives? You said you want to have a family. But you take contraceptives?”

“When did I?”

I stroked my lower abdomen. My belly was flat without any bulging. It was so flat that I didn’t even think there would be a life here.

The doctor approached me in disbelief. He handed the chart to me. When I flipped over the paper with the complicated English written on it, a piece of paper with a black background appeared.

It was an ultrasound picture.

The doctor asked Choi Sung-hoon and me for permission before applying something to my stomach. Then he took one of the numerous mechanical devices beside the bed and placed it on my stomach.

“Look at the screen.”

On the large monitor that had been turned on, something flashed. In the black background, there was something resembling white noise.

“This is the head and this is the leg. It’s crouching down. I’d estimate 11 to 13 weeks for growth alone, but it could be less.”

It was too small to be called life. It was huddled and crouching. Just as someone who has only experienced painful things hides under a blanket and refuses to open his eyes again.

“I am a recessive. I also took the contraceptive pill regularly. There was no sign.”

“Director Choi is extremely dominant. I heard that Director did not use any contraceptives, but it is difficult to prevent pregnancy with only post-contraceptives. May I know what kind of contraceptive pill you are taking?”

The doctor spoke softly like warm milk. He took notes after I told him what kind of contraceptive pills I was taking. Colorful pens hung in the front pocket of the white robe.

“Are you really a doctor?”

“Yes, I’m the Choi family doctor.”

“Am I really pregnant?”

When I asked, Choi Sung-hoon next to him exhaled heavily as if disheartened again. The doctor told him not to sigh in front of a prospective mother and responded to my question.

“Yes, you’re pregnant. You have a child. You’re pregnant.”

“But, I took too much medicine. I took tranquilizers and sleeping pills.”

When I told him, the doctor, who had been trying so hard to keep his composure, also frowned. When he asked for the name of the tranquilizer, I gave him the counselor’s contact information. I couldn’t remember because the name was complicated and there were a lot of prescription drugs involved.  Choi Sung-hoon was concerned, and the sound of his breathing became rougher. I also confessed to drinking because I shouldn’t hide it anyway.

“I also drank today. Makgeolli.”

“It’s a relief if it’s makgeolli… Were you sick up until now? It appears that you are suffering from morning sickness.”

“Yes, I vomited everything I ate, and there was blood coming out of the bottom a few times, but I had no idea it was bleeding.”

“Blood come out?”

Choi Sung-hoon’s eyes flashed. I was holding Choi Sung-hoon’s hand with one hand and stroking my stomach with the other. Choi Sung-hoon then covered the back of my hand that was stroking my stomach.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Yours is so damn big. I thought it was torn.”

“Of course, you should have told me, even if it was torn and bleeding. You also should have told me right away when you vomited.”

“There’s nothing to be proud of when it comes to dirty stories. If I said something like that, you would be offended.”

“…”

Choi Sung-hoon was almost emitting his pheromone now.

“Very… It’s very easy to make a fool out of a person.”

“Director, good words. I fully understand your feelings, but you have to use good words.”

“You played with me like a dog.”

“Good words. Director, good words.”

Choi Sung-hoon frowned fiercely and told the doctor to shut up when he kept trying to stop him. After a brief moment of thought, the doctor immediately stopped speaking.

Choi Sung-hoon was frustrated by himself, saying, “Shit, is a dog a curse word?” as if his anger had not gone away. Of course, I didn’t think it was a curse either, and Choi Sung-hoon’s ‘Shit’ was sexy, but I pretended to agree with the doctor and nodded my head.

“It’s a curse word. You have to say good things in front of the fetus. And I’ve never played with it. Every night, I prayed that Choi Sung-hoon would play with me and let me stay where I am.”

Choi Seong-hoon looked at me with a strange expression on his face. My conscience was pricked because I was not religious, but I looked at Choi Sung-hoon with daring and innocent eyes.

Funny enough, he held my hands tightly even at this moment.

“Professor Chae, go now. I have a lot to talk about with this person.”

Choi Sung-hoon looked at me and ordered the doctors and nurses to leave. They touched several mechanical devices and adjusted the IV once.

I asked him to give me the ultrasound picture. The doctor, who was called Professor Chae, handed it to me with an ambiguous expression and spoke to Choi Sung-hoon a little before leaving.

“You must remember, Director. Don’t give it any affection…” 

“… Go out.”

Choi Seong-hoon drove the doctor away. When he came in here, the doctor also said something like don’t give it any affection. I pondered the sentence’s meaning.

Choi Sung-hoon and I were the only ones left in the big hospital room. The temperature in the hospital room was mild, and I was wrapped in the world’s warmest blanket. And I had just heard such a miraculous story that my heart continued to pound.

I placed my hand on my flat stomach.

I got pregnant. I’m really pregnant.

It’s a miracle to have a baby.

Although I forgot for a few days, I took the contraceptive pill quite regularly and lived on sleeping pills and tranquilizers. The baby must have been in pain and sick, but it persisted and made me know its existence.

The baby must have been screaming its existence all this time. Its presence was announced by many signals, but I didn’t notice any of it.

Now that I know it, I want to feed it only good things so that it can be born in blessing and love and grow up in a happy family.

I raised my head and looked at Choi Sung-hoon’s expression. 

Choi Sung-hoon was constantly making wrinkles on his brow.

He held my hand tightly.

He sent out the doctor saying he had a lot to talk about, but somehow I could figure out why he didn’t say anything. Perhaps he’s holding on because he’s afraid he’ll swear at me again and get angry.

If I summarize it…

The Omega that Choi Seong-hoon was talking about with his parents that day was me…

I honestly couldn’t believe it. I just found out that I was pregnant, but how can they notice it first, and what was Choi Sung-hoon lacking that made him want to marry someone like me?

I regarded him with suspicion. When our gazes met, Choi Sung-hoon tried to relax his expression. I wanted to touch his beard, which rose sharply on his chin.  I reached out my hand, but Choi Sung-hoon raised one eyebrow and stopped me.

He must have been very angry, but he didn’t know how or what to say.

“Seo-yu ssi, I have never loved anyone, and I have never been in a relationship.”

“…”

“It’s the first time I’ve ever experienced a change in a person’s actions and words, so there are a lot of things I’m not very good at.”

He confessed his flaws to me first. He soon continued slowly.

“I thought we were lovers. You want to get married… You said you wanted to have a child before you got older, and I haven’t used contraception since the first time-.”

“Did I say that? When?”

I didn’t have any memories, so I interrupted him and asked.

“You were drunk when you said that.”

“I’m a good drinker. Don’t make it up because I don’t get drunk easily and remember everything.”

“You said you wanted to get married before you turned 30. If you want to have another child, they should be at least three years apart. If there is too much age difference, the eldest child will have more responsibility. You also said that you wanted the first child to be a son and the second child to be a girl.”

“It’s a thought that anyone can have.”

“You said that you wanted to go to a regular cafe and argue about the children’s tuition and utility bills there during the evening hours when the crowds are the biggest. You’ll take family photos at the local photo studio every year, and each time the owner says it’s the first time he’s seen such a close family and asks if it’s okay to display your photo in front of the studio, Seo-yu ssi will answer as much as he wants…”

“You are right. You can stop talking.”

I bowed my face which was flushed with embarrassment.

What was I talking about when I was drunk, and how much did I say…

Choi Sung-hoon caressed my cheek and I looked at him. One of his hands was still softly and firmly holding my hand.

“December 11, do you remember?”

Choi Sung-hoon said the exact date. It was my heat cycle period.

“I don’t remember very well what happened when I was in heat.”

“I know. I knew you couldn’t remember, but I thought it would be fine, and I thought it wouldn’t matter if you didn’t.”

Choi Sung-hoon grabbed my hand and brought it to his lips. My hands, held in his big brown hands, looked very thin and fragile.

“I have been since then.”

Choi Sung-hoon’s expression as he kissed the back of my hand while saying that was so complicated that I couldn’t guess what he was thinking.

“Did you think we were lovers since that day?”

“I misunderstood that, but I know that you don’t remember because you went on a blind date.”

Choi Sung-hoon stopped talking. The atmosphere turned cold in an instant.

It must have been a bit absurd to him. His lover was looking for his blind date…

On Christmas Eve, I remembered Choi Sung-hoon at the place where I was meeting the so called blind date.

If it had been such a meticulously planned meeting… Wasn’t it cute?

“Then you thought it was the first day from Christmas day?”

“… Around that time.”

Choi Sung-hoon, who responded bluntly, was very cute. But I didn’t laugh.

I was hurt by myself, so I shut down my heart and took medicine that I shouldn’t have taken on my own because I misunderstood.

What the hell happened to my personality as I grew older…

Even now, I still couldn’t believe Choi Sung-hoon’s words.

“I love you.”

“…”

“I definitely felt that Seo-yu liked me as well. Am I mistaken?”

Did you mistaken?

Choi Sung-hoon was angry enough to swear, but only his pheromone was completely displayed. From the first time I saw him… Unlike others, he did not use his pheromones to apply pressure on me.

Perhaps the seed was already planted in my heart at that point.

I have to trample hard on this feeling that has grown high.

“It doesn’t matter how I feel, Choi Sung-hoon.”

“…”

“Fortunately, we weren’t lovers, so you don’t have to take responsibility for me. I have no intention of holding you back just because I have your child.”

I smiled as much as I could.

I could deceive this feeling that he was experiencing for the first time as love. I could get married like this now that I knew I was pregnant and make the rich family’s extremely dominant Alpha responsible for me and my child for the rest of my life.

But I couldn’t let his life go to waste that way.

“Choi Sung-hoon’s feeling is not love. It’s just a curiosity and shallow liking for types that you haven’t experienced. It’s not a good idea to marry with this feeling.”

Because I love you…

I love you so much.

I tried to invoke the truth and withdraw my hand, but Choi Sung-hoon strengthened the hand he was holding. His gaze was unwavering.

“I love that point of you.”

“…”

“Now that I know you, it’s fine. As I change, so will you. Now that I know what you need, slowly…”

He kissed the back of my hand again. Then he stood up and approached me.

Choi Sung-hoon leaned in closer with a body that felt even bigger today. He looked me straight in the eye and said, holding me in the middle with his arms at the head of the bed.

“I’m in a one-sided love with you right now, and I’m determined to work hard to court you in order to win your heart.”

Unlike his sweet words, his eyes were so scary that I thought I had misheard phrases like, “I’m in a crush right now, and I’ll threaten you hard to win your heart, so be prepared.”

“No, Choi Sung-hoon ssi…”

“Seo-yu ssi is pregnant, and I am the father of the fetus. Think about it one more time. Don’t make decisions right now.”

My lips were closed again at the sweet and warm words were uttered as if he was determined. And the handsome man right in front of me, asking me to think about it for a reasonable reason.

Choi Sung-hoon’s lips fell over my closed lips.

I closed my eyes after the rough lips, cheeks, and rough chin collided.

The miracle baby needed a father. Maybe I’ll be able to start the family I’ve always always dreamed of.

I should have refused firmly for Choi Sung-hoon’s sake, but no word of rejection came out. Even though I know his feelings were genuine at the time, they will eventually fade in the blink of an eye in his life…

I closed my eyes, turning a blind eye to everything, with the warm lips on my lips and the hard touch on my cheeks.

* * *

Note

Technically Choi Sung-hoon is cursing

개새끼 (Gaesaekki): a pup, a puppy, a dog, a son of a bitch, bastard, etc.