SDM 47
by Sorai“Excuse me, Baek Sang-hyun-ssi. Could you show us around your room?”
“…Sure.”
While it was a private space, it wouldn’t be a problem to show it to anyone except for Jin Seong-woon. Baek Sang-hyun briefly explained the display case divisions.
“You seem to watch all kinds of genres. I thought you were only interested in specific pieces since the actor only does those.”
Baek Sang-hyun had been asked when he would film something in the romance genre since his debut. His screen debut was a disaster film, and since then he had appeared in various genre pieces like supernatural, zombie, detective, and crime films, but still hadn’t done one in romance.
There didn’t seem to be any particular reasons for not doing something in romance until recently, but thinking about it now, the reason seemed clear. Baek Sang-hyun just smiled looking at Ryu Chae-yoon curled up on the sofa.
“I haven’t had the opportunity. If there’s a good script, I’d like to do one sometime.”
After giving this generic, safe answer, Baek Sang-hyun left the room. There were too many things related to Jin Seong-woon in there, sometimes making it hard to breathe.
The food would get cold, but he didn’t want to wake up someone in deep slumber. Baek Sang-hyun left the salad topped with grilled beef brisket and lightly grilled gnocchi as they were and came to sit on the living room sofa. The writer approached and began the interview.
“Your cooking skills are impressive. Where did you learn them from?”
“My mother came home later, so usually my father and I prepared meals together.”
“You lived abroad for a long time, right?”
“Yes. I only attended elementary school in Korea.”
“Is there a reason why you came back to Korea?”
Baek Sang-hyun turned his head slightly to look at Ryu Chae-yoon for a moment. He thought he could easily meet celebrities if he just came to Korea. He remembered being surprised by how many people there were when he first set foot in Seoul again, with memories of living in a very small town during elementary school.
Would it sound silly to say he came because he wanted to meet Jin Seong-woon and walk the same land as him?
“I had an idol.”
“…Is this the first time you’re mentioning this?”
“Yes, I suppose it is.”
“It must have been an actor, right?”
Sensing a scoop, the writer and PD got a bit excited. Baek Sang-hyun chuckled and pulled the blanket to cover Ryu Chae-yoon’s exposed feet.
“Yes, an actor. But when I returned to Korea, I didn’t plan on acting. I just wanted to meet him once…”
Wanting to meet him… Perhaps Ryu Chae-yoon wasn’t so different from himself, who had crossed the Pacific with just that desire. If so, Ryu Chae-yoon’s attitude so far made no sense.
Baek Sang-hyun briefly recalled encountering Ryu Chae-yoon on the set of <Human Justice>. There was surprise at seeing something unexpected, and an inexplicable gladness, but that was all.
It wasn’t even the reaction of meeting someone you like, but he was a fan? That dry, almost parched behavior was unpleasant because it reminded me of someone…
“…at least I thought I could.”
“Did you meet him?”
“Yes. But I couldn’t say these things.”
It seemed like something he shouldn’t say. Baek Sang-hyun first met Seong-woon previously in a different situation, but Seong-woon became aware of Baek Sang-hyun’s existence during the filming of <Joint Operation>. Baek Sang-hyun had hoped to see him at the script reading since he had a substantial supporting role, but was so disappointed when he heard the PD hadn’t called him. Finally excited to meet Seong-woon on the first day of filming, Baek Sang-hyun felt his heart drop when he saw him eating lunch alone in the parking lot.
‘Hello, sunbae-nim.’
Thinking back now, Seong-woon was probably there because he didn’t want to meet anyone, but Baek Sang-hyun was too excited to read his non-verbal cues. He was like an overexcited puppy, too happy to see him.
Jin Seong-woon, sitting on a car stopper in the parking lot, picking up some stir-fried kimchi, looked up blankly at Baek Sang-hyun. He then put down the side dish and stood up abruptly.
‘…Hello.’
‘Were you in the middle of eating?’
‘Yes.’
‘Can I join you?’
‘Pardon?’
His eyes were like those of a cat that had been harmed by humans. But Baek Sang-hyun, rudely ignored his answer, not even giving him a chance to deny and ran to the food truck to get a lunchbox.
‘Baek Sang-hyun-ssi, come eat here!’
‘Ah, I have a prior engagement. Enjoy your meal.’
Caught at the director’s table on the way back, Baek Sang-hyun politely declined and returned to the parking lot. But Seong-woon was no longer there. Wondering if he had left, but not wanting to give up, Baek Sang-hyun searched everywhere and finally found Seong-woon behind the large bus that had brought the supporting actors.
‘Sunbae-nim.’
The look in his eyes, staring at him with bewilderment, somehow tugged at Baek Sang-hyun’s heart. Not knowing what this emotion or feeling was, Baek Sang-hyun squatted down next to Seong-woon.
Seong-woon let out a deep sigh and slowly started eating his lunch. Baek Sang-hyun quietly ate his lunch beside him, occasionally making trivial conversation.
Saying things like the on-set food was better than expected, or that he was looking forward to filming together. Although these were sincere words, Seong-woon didn’t seem to believe them. He gave brief responses, but… as time passed, the awkwardness dissipated and the atmosphere softened.
Which of sunbae-nim’s works he liked, what aspects of that work he enjoyed… Baek Sang-hyun could talk about Jin Seong-woon for three days and nights and it still wouldn’t be enough, but he couldn’t say such things out loud. It didn’t seem right.
‘…Yes. Let’s do our best.’
When Baek Sang-hyun forcibly took his empty lunchbox, Seong-woon spoke with a faint smile. Just that was enough to make Baek Sang-hyun truly the happiest person in the world.
“Didn’t you want to say you were a fan? I don’t think I could have held back.”
“…I wanted to. But… it wouldn’t come out easily.”
“Were you embarrassed?”
“No, it wasn’t that. It’s just…”
Baek Sang-hyun couldn’t help but glance at Ryu Chae-yoon again. As if he had heard, Chae-yoon made a sleepy noise at that moment.
“Haha, Chae-yoon is sleeping well.”
He called his name affectionately. Ryu Chae-yoon, Jin Seong-woon. Not a single character is the same, yet strangely, even Ryu Chae-yoon’s name is starting to stick to his lips.
Baek Sang-hyun patted Chae-yoon’s heavily curved back a few times and pulled his legs to help him lie more comfortably. Even so, he only occupied about one and a half sofa seats, still curled up.
“We shouldn’t miss dinner time. I’ll wake him up.”
Baek Sang-hyun smiled, stood up, and leaned over Ryu Chae-yoon, quietly calling his name.
“Chae-yoon-ah.”
He gently brushed Ryu Chae-yoon’s soft hair once and tapped his shoulder. Ryu Chae-yoon’s eyes, which had been tightly scrunched, suddenly opened, revealing soft-colored irises.
“Let’s have dinner.”
“…Did I fall asleep?”
“Yeah. You must have been tired.”
“…I must be crazy.”
Ryu Chae-yoon sat up in surprise, burying his face in his palms in self-reproach. His exposed nape was white and smooth. Just like ‘him’, it was long and thin, almost to the point of looking fragile.
Baek Sang-hyun ran a finger down Ryu Chae-yoon’s nape. Startled enough to shudder, Ryu Chae-yoon jumped up from his seat.
“The food will get cold.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Eat and then sleep more.”
With an expression that said ‘Sleep more? I’m going home!’ Ryu Chae-yoon nodded.
Isn’t it more absurd that ‘Ryu Chae-yoon’ is not ‘Jin Seong-woon’? They’re so alike. Everything is the same, even that soul-burning light in their eyes.
Baek Sang-hyun casually repeated these words in his mind that would sound crazy to anyone else. There’s no way to stop now, even if he’s truly gone mad. In his mind, the equation ‘Ryu Chae-yoon = Jin Seong-woon’ has already become a law, and this is the law of his life.
If the law breaks, his world will break too.
* * *
“Chae-yoon, you did well. I think it’ll turn out nicely.”
“Yes, thank you.”
It’ll probably be boring. Seong-woon covered his face, unable to bear the embarrassment as he thought about what he had done all day. His cheeks were burning hot.
For a whole 3 hours, he just studied without realizing there was a camera. When his senior was cooking, he fell asleep on the sofa and only woke up after dinnertime to eat. Then he even had a long argument with Baek Sang-hyun over the “Orbit Collision” script.
Being on a variety show for the first time, especially with an observational one, he couldn’t gauge the right level of behavior. It might have been fine to be a bit awkward at first, but Seong-woon was used to ignoring cameras after being in front of them for so long, which was more problematic.
He thought he should ask the manager to edit it carefully… At least he hoped he didn’t come across as an ungrateful junior making his senior cook for him.
“The show airs next Tuesday, so make sure to watch it!”
“Okay.”
“It’d be even better if you wrote a review!”
“Alright.”
Seong-woon just hoped Baek Sang-hyun did something amazing in the morning hours. He sincerely wished his own screen time would be very small and insignificant.
“I guess you’ll see it next Wednesday?”
“…I suppose so.”
Monday’s “Accounting Principles” class was canceled due to the professor attending a conference. Seong-woon decided to be grateful for postponing the day he’d meet Baek Sang-hyun again.
“If you’re that disappointed, want to stay over?”
“What? …You’re joking, right?”
“I don’t joke much.”
Wasn’t almost everything a joke? Seong-woon frowned imperceptibly and shook his head.
“My parents would worry.”
He uttered that line casually and then pressed his lips shut. Since when did he care about his parents’ worries? Since when… had he come to consider Ryu Chae-yoon’s parents so close….
“Here, take this and eat it.”
“…What is it?”
“I made too much gnocchi and had leftovers. You can freeze it and then grill it a bit before eating.”
Why this… If he told the housekeeper, she’d make it right away. Seong-woon couldn’t help but smile a little at the unexpected gift.
“Why are you smiling? Happy?”
“Well… I guess so.”
He doesn’t know how to reject people’s kindness. He never received it before, so he’d run away before it was given, but once it’s in his arms, he couldn’t ever imagine returning it.
Seong-woon reluctantly hugged the glass container to his chest and left Sang-hyun’s house first. As he bowed here and there, people around exclaimed “Oh my!” as if watching a child showing off. Well, twenty is still young.
“Good work, young master.”
“It wasn’t much.”
“What’s that?”
“He said it’s gnocchi.”
“Gnocchi? Is that food?”
“Yes.”
“…You didn’t hear anything strange, did you?”
“I’ll poke it with silver chopsticks before eating.”
Even though he took a nap during filming, his head feels foggy. But strangely, his heart feels at ease, and everything just seems okay….
All his worries about Ryu Chae-yoon and Baek Sang-hyun, about Jin Seong-woon and Ryu Chae-yoon, about soul adjustment and memory loss have become blurred. When he actually meets Baek Sang-hyun, he doesn’t worry much.
“Ah, can I see the edited version first?”
“Is there something you need to check? I didn’t think there were any issues.”
“Was it okay? I took a nap and…”
“Yes, it was cute.”
“Cute… you say.”
“Yes.”
“I made Baek Sang-hyun do all the work.”
“Well, Baek Sang-hyun chased you out of the kitchen, didn’t he?”
“I even got tutored…”
“You studied too. There was no problem at all.”
Seong-woon couldn’t believe Lee Hyeong-seok’s words. This guy must also be wearing “my baby” filters on his eyelids. He’d probably say “Young master does everything well. Don’t worry!” no matter what Seong-woon did.
“…Anyway, I want to see it in advance.”
“I’ll check. But with the Tuesday night broadcast, there’s not much editing time… I’m worried if there will be time to view it in between.”
Well, they’ll be busy with studio recording after the first edit and then a second edit.
“If it’s not possible, it can’t be helped.”
“I’ll try my best to bring it somehow.”
Lee Hyeong-seok’s worries became reality and his promise turned to bubbles. By Tuesday afternoon, the editing wasn’t finished, and a message came saying it was impossible to show it. Seeing the typos riddling the message, Seong-woon just nodded heavily.
“They say there really won’t be any problems.”
“If I get criticized, I’m blaming it all on the PD.”
“Yes. They say if there’s a problem, you can blame it on distortion and curse the TV crew.”
TV crew… If they’re saying it like that, there really must be no issues. As Seong-woon barely pushed away his worries and finished dinner, family members started gathering at home one by one.
“…Why is everyone here?”
“Huh? We came to watch Chae-yoon’s variety show.”
“I even skipped my exhibition after-party to come here.”
Is it now normal to gather here and watch all his TV appearances? Led by Ryu Ho-yoon and Ryu Ha-yun, the electronics company president, construction executive director, chairman, and agency president all gathered together.
Stunned, Seong-woon sat in the dining room chair, unable to even go out to the living room, when the chairman, his father, personally called him.
“It’s our Chae-yoon’s first time on TV. Your mother says she’ll watch even from Vietnam.”
Looking at his father holding his hand tightly and patting the back of it, Seong-woon could only nod. He had no strength to resist the overflowing affection.