SDM 51

The moment he brought him inside, Baek Sang-hyun realized that Ryu Chae-yoon’s appearance was truly terrible. It was still dark outside and the street lamps weren’t bright, so he couldn’t see properly… Where did that smelly jacket come from, and the shoes looked like rubber toys.

“Did you come alone?”

“Yes.”

Is he allowed to go out alone? Baek Sang-hyun didn’t think that his overzealous manager would ever let Ryu Chae-yoon go out alone. Even when he came to this house, the manager always waited in the underground parking lot. Wasn’t he the one who checked every single cut during variety show shoots?

“Do you want to change clothes?”

“…Yes.”

“Just a moment.”

Baek Sang-hyun first draped a cardigan over Ryu Chae-yoon like a blanket, the same one he had given his before, then went into the room and rummaged through the closet. Since he usually wore only short-sleeved shirts and shorts indoors, even in winter, there weren’t many suitable clothes. The only long-sleeved, long-pants, thick material clothes were pajamas.

“Do you want to wash up?”

“…Yes.”

“Okay, then…”

“If anyone calls looking for me… could you tell them I’m not here?”

“Huh?”

“I’ll take responsibility.”

“…Did you run away?”

Ryu Chae-yoon shook his head without hesitation, but Baek Sang-hyun could tell that he was lying. Just seeing the corners of his mouth twist and his jaw muscles tense… he could understand him.

“Alright. Wash up with warm water and come out.”

Baek Sang-hyun handed him the pajama set and led Ryu Chae-yoon to the bathroom. After a while, the sounds of water splashing could be heard.

Ryu Chae-yoon seemed broken somehow. Baek Sang-hyun rubbed his face dry, recalling Ryu Chae-yoon’s pale face with only his eyes reddened. Ah, his chest felt so tight he thought he might go crazy. Why was Ryu Chae-yoon, who had only received love, making a face like Jin Seong-woon, who seemed hurt by everything in the world?

Just as Baek Sang-hyun was patting his tight chest, his phone started ringing. The call coming in just after five in the morning shook the empty space.It stopped once and rang again. This time it was a different number. Baek Sang-hyun hesitated for a long time before pressing the answer button.

“Hello?”

─ Baek Sang-hyun?

“Who is this?”

─ Do you have Ryu Chae-yoon with you?

“…Do you know me?”

─ I do. I’m asking if Ryu Chae-yoon is with you.

Glancing at the bathroom where water sounds were still coming from, Baek Sang-hyun answered in a voice that didn’t hide his bewilderment.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Why are you looking for Ryu Chae-yoon from me?”

─ You’re not panicking? Ah… Did you check the taxi number? Yeah, check where he got off with the driver.

The talk about the taxi suddenly became distant and wasn’t heard clearly. But putting it together, it seemed they already knew Ryu Chae-yoon was here.

“I’m hanging up.”

─ Put Ryu Chae-yoon on.

“I think you’ve got the wrong idea.”

Before the other person could answer, Baek Sang-hyun hung up abruptly. He wondered if they would call again, but the phone remained quiet for a while.

When he was returning after finishing the shoot, he seemed fine, but seeing Ryu Chae-yoon so exhausted after just a few hours, Baek Sang-hyun could now understand what kind of face Jin Seong-woon had been making when he told him not to contact him anymore.

Click, the bathroom door opened and Ryu Chae-yoon came out with a towel draped over his wet hair. He was shivering slightly, apparently feeling cold in the room temperature.

Adjusting the temperature setting higher, Baek Sang-hyun took the hand of the dazed Ryu Chae-yoon and sat him down on the living room sofa. No matter what he did, his blank state suggested he had received quite a shock.

“Ryu Chae-yoon.”

He raised his head slightly at the call of his name.

“There was a call looking for you.”

“…A call?”

“To me.”

“…”

“From what they said about the taxi… you came here by taxi, right?”

Ryu Chae-yoon just nodded. With so many CCTVs these days, it would have been easy to find out the number of the taxi Ryu Chae-yoon took. Then it would be even easier to check with the taxi owner about where a passenger who rode around dawn got off.

“I think they’ll come looking for you soon.”

“…I guess so.”

Ryu Chae-yoon let out a long sigh, uncharacteristically. His breath smelled of winter.

“If you want, I’ll tell them you’re not here.”

“That’s…”

“I’m saying I’ll try to hold them off as much as I can.”

Because he looked like he might cut his own wrists off if he went back, Ryu Chae-yoon was fiddling with the smooth inside of his left wrist, where there was nothing.

The pajamas, loose even on Baek Sang-hyun, were like a sack on Ryu Chae-yoon. He irritably grabbed at the clothes slipping off one shoulder. The surgery scar on his chest was briefly visible through the fluttering shirt.

“If it’s Chang-yoon hyung… he might force his way in. He’s unpredictable…”

Baek Sang-hyun knew Ryu Chang-yoon. He seemed to be an executive at Ryu Shin Construction… Didn’t he come to the ad shoot recently just to observe Baek Sang-hyun for a long time? When their eyes met, he smiled meaningfully, making Baek Sang-hyun wonder what kind of person he was…

“I’ll persuade him. …If hyung leaves me here… can I stay here for a while?”

“Sure.”

Baek Sang-hyun agreed without a moment’s hesitation. Ryu Chae-yoon’s eyes widened slightly in surprise, then curved only about half as much as usual. He didn’t seem to have the energy to smile.

Ryu Chae-yoon didn’t mind Baek Sang-hyun touching his hand. Baek Sang-hyun’s hands were warmer than most people’s, and Ryu Chae-yoon’s were colder, so when held together, the point of contact became lukewarm.

Just as the silence was about to fully swell, the doorbell rang and the wall pad lit up. The screen showed Ryu Chang-yoon.

“It’s Chang-yoon hyung after all.”

Ryu Chae-yoon smirked, then wrapped the towel that had been on his head around his neck and approached the entrance. He was stumbling, looking unwell, so Baek Sang-hyun briefly stood in front of him.

“Will you be okay?”

“…He’s my brother, it’s fine.”

As Baek Sang-hyun looked down at him silently, Ryu Chae-yoon bit his lip once and released it.

“I’ll talk to him outside.”

“No, it’s cold outside. Do it here.”

“There might be loud voices.”

“It’s fine.”

After a moment’s hesitation, Ryu Chae-yoon nodded and went to open the door. Ryu Chang-yoon, who looked like Ryu Chae-yoon but also didn’t, took a big step into the entrance. Ryu Chae-yoon stepped back a little.

“Ryu Chae-yoon.”

“…Hyung.”

“I told you not to leave your hair wet.”

“…”

“Let’s go home. Everyone’s worried.”

“I’m not going home.”

Ryu Chae-yoon spoke in a clear voice, not avoiding Ryu Chang-yoon’s intense gaze.

“Ryu Chae-yoon.”

“…”

“Baby, why are you suddenly like this? Hm? Are you feeling sick?”

Ryu Chang-yoon coaxed Ryu Chae-yoon in an extremely sweet voice. Unable to bear the sight, Baek Sang-hyun tried to step forward, but Ryu Chae-yoon raised his arm to stop him.

“Right now, I don’t want to. I don’t want to be around people who know ‘Ryu Chae-yoon’ too well.”

“…What do you mean?”

“Just what I said. People who know ‘me’… it’s difficult right now. It’s hard.”

“…”

“I can’t live like this forever. No matter how sick I am… I’ll have to live alone eventually, how long can I keep imposing on my parents and siblings…”

“You think you’re imposing on us? Who said so?”

“It’s not about who says it, it’s how I feel. And hyung, are you going to live like this forever? Running to the hospital when I have a heart attack, sending people to find me when I leave home, beating up anyone who hurts me?”

“I’d be happy to live like that forever. It’s obviously what I should do.”

“Right, since I’ll die before you anyway…”

“Ryu Chae-yoon.”

The moment Ryu Chae-yoon mentioned dying, Ryu Chang-yoon’s eyes turned ice-cold. Ryu Chae-yoon flinched momentarily but didn’t stop speaking.

“I know you’re worried, so I’ll wear the watch, but I won’t go back home.”

“…”

“You came to bring the watch, right?”

Ryu Chang-yoon sighed deeply, chuckled a few times, then took out a heavy smartwatch from his pocket and fastened it on Ryu Chae-yoon’s left wrist.

“So, you’re saying you want to be independent?”

“Think that if you want.”

“You’re saying it’s not that?”

“I don’t know either. I just… don’t want to go back there.”

Chang-yoon took out a phone and shoved it into Ryu Chae-yoon’s pajama pocket, then irritably brushed back his falling bangs several times. He glared at Baek Sang-hyun standing behind, baring his teeth in a vicious smile. Ryu Chae-yoon grabbed both sides of his face, making him look at him.

“Don’t get mad at someone who’s uninvolved.”

“He’s uninvolved?”

“Yes. I’m the one causing trouble, so be grateful to him instead.”

The way he rolled his eyes was chilling. Ryu Chang-yoon took a deep breath, closed his eyes for a long moment, then opened them and stared at Ryu Chae-yoon while speaking rapidly. It sounded like a speech he had prepared, anticipating that Ryu Chae-yoon might not return.

“You need to get your defibrillator checked. Hyeong-seok is waiting downstairs, so go to the hospital right away. And post a survival check in the family group chat at least three times a day. Wear the watch even when sleeping or washing. I’ll give you two, so alternate them while charging. If the watch data transmission is cut off, I’ll come find you immediately. When you go out, you’ll be accompanied by Hyeong-seok and a bodyguard. They’ll try to be inconspicuous, but you can’t go without a bodyguard. And… I’ll get you a separate place to live alone, so leave here.”

“…No. I’m not going to the hospital today, and I don’t need a house.”

“Ryu Chae-yoon.”

“I just… want to stay here.”

I thought he would forcibly drag Ryu Chae-yoon out, but Ryu Chang-yoon acted as if he could never win against Ryu Chae-yoon. He nodded, even to things Ryu Chae-yoon said he would do, while showing extreme dislike.

“…Alright. Alright, so don’t try to cry.”

As the restless Ryu Chang-yoon was about to embrace Ryu Chae-yoon, Baek Sang-hyun grabbed Ryu Chae-yoon’s arm and pulled him back, hiding him behind his body. No matter how he looked at it, Ryu Chang-yoon seemed to be beyond the category of a ‘normal’ brother.

“You should leave now.”

“…Feeling triumphant, are we?”

“You spoke informally on the phone earlier. Why the sudden formality?”

“I usually use formal speech with people I dislike.”

Ryu Chae-yoon, who had been looking back and forth between Baek Sang-hyun and Ryu Chang-yoon, blurted out:

“That’s so childish.”

Then he shook off Baek Sang-hyun’s hand holding his arm, grabbed Chang-yoon’s shoulder, turned him around, and pushed him towards the door. He even opened the door for him.

“Stop causing trouble and leave quickly.”

“Make sure to contact me every day, and the hospital… sigh… you must go tomorrow, understood?”

“I got it.”

Ryu Chae-yoon pushed Ryu Chang-yoon out and slammed the door shut. Even after the door automatically locked, he held onto the doorknob for a while, as if afraid someone might try to pull it open immediately.

“…Um, I’m sorry.”

Looking suddenly exhausted, Ryu Chae-yoon shook his wet hair like a dog and trudged over to flop down on the sofa. He seemed to have lost all strength in his legs. Baek Sang-hyun picked up the fallen towel, put it in the laundry basket, took out a new towel, and wrapped it around Ryu Chae-yoon’s head from behind the sofa.

“…What are you doing?”

“Your brother was right about one thing.”

“My brother? It seems like he only talked nonsense…”

“He said to dry your hair.”

“I just got rid of an overprotective brother, and now…”

Looking down from above, the surgery scar on his chest was more visible. It even seemed bruised… Did he really have a heart attack today? Baek Sang-hyun frowned as he wiped the moisture from his still-damp hair.

“…Aren’t you going to ask?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“If you want to talk, I’ll listen.”

“How charitable of you.”

After mumbling silently for a while, Ryu Chae-yoon let out a long breath. It seemed like he was breathing consciously, as though he were pacing himself.

There was so much he wanted to ask. How many surgeries he had, how unwell he was, how severe it must be for the seemingly cold Ryu Chang-yoon to be so overprotective, what heart problem he had that required a defibrillator, just how sick he was…

“I want to ask just one thing.”

“…Yes.”

“What do you mean by not wanting to be around people who know Ryu Chae-yoon too well?”

Ryu Chae-yoon suddenly looked up. His face, seemingly sculpted with great care by God, was breathtakingly beautiful. But for Baek Sang-hyun, the faint light emanating from him was more dazzling.

The light that only showed when Jin Seong-woon was acting constantly flowed from Ryu Chae-yoon. Could others not see it? If only he could see it… would that lead to the conclusion that he was crazy? Seeing something different from others is a clear psychopathological symptom.

“Don’t you know that better than I do, sunbae?”

“…Really?”

“Yes.”

Ryu Chae-yoon’s answer seemed to indirectly affirm that he was Jin Seong-woon. Though it might just be avoidance because he didn’t want to answer. Baek Sang-hyun decided to think as he pleased.