SDM 59

Seong-woon continued to stay at Baek Sang-hyun’s house, but he didn’t feel uncomfortable like he thought. The director seemed determined to finish everything before the New Year, running the actors on a crazy schedule. The problem was that the leads had no complaints, so even the others couldn’t speak up. 

Hence, even Baek Sang-hyun couldn’t come home for days after letting an outsider into his house.

– Did you have lunch?

“Yes, I did.”

– Do you have enough to eat?

“My manager brought some food.”

– Ah, really? If I were home, I could have made something for you…

Although he was busy, Baek Sang-hyun called whenever he had a chance. And all he does is check on Seong-woon. But that warmth felt so tangible that Seong-woon couldn’t bring himself to say they should hang up.

– Want me to make some barley tea?

“My manager bought a lot.”

– But that’s cold, isn’t it?

“It’s fine to drink.”

Seong-woon answered with a joy in his voice, fearing that if he didn’t speak properly, Baek Sang-hyun might rush over to make barley tea. Only then does Sang-hyun feel reassured.

The sound of someone calling Baek Sang-hyun came through the receiver.

– I have to go.

“Okay.”

– At this rate, we might really have dating rumors.

“…Dating rumors?”

– They say I’m on my phone every break.

“…”

Pressing his hot cheeks, Seong-woon briefly stared at the clock screen showing the number 90 in bright red. …This can’t be good for my heart.

– I’ll try to come home today.

“You must be tired.”

– But you’re bored, aren’t you?

“…”

Rather than bored, he felt like he needed something… warm. Hot palms, hot cheeks, hot…

– I’m hanging up.

The call ended abruptly, unlike usual, not giving Seong-woon a chance to reply. He must have been in a real hurry. Seong-woon stared quietly at his phone screen before dropping his arm.

During the days Baek Sang-hyun didn’t return, Seong-woon pondered long about ‘genuine entanglement’. But he just couldn’t come to a definite answer.

He kept having negative thoughts, fearing that he might have misunderstood and jumped to conclusions about Baek Sang-hyun’s words and actions.

What if he confessed now that he was Jin Seong-woon? If he explained that Jin Seong-woon and Ryu Chae-yoon were one soul, and he was doing this to correct a mistake… what if Baek Sang-hyun looked at him like he was crazy?

…Being treated like a madman was fine, but he was most afraid of Baek Sang-hyun looking at him with contempt again.

“Even I think I sound crazy…”

Seong-woon buried his head between his knees, recalling when he first met Baek Sang-hyun after entering Ryu Chae-yoon’s body. After such a long time of being hated, how could he be so afraid after being loved for just a few months?

‘You’re used to it, aren’t you? Being hated. Everyone disliked you.’

Seong-woon, who had dropped his arm, accidentally knocked over the teacup on the table. The remaining tea spilled out. When he pulled out a tissue, it was the last one.

He used it to stop the tea from dripping onto the floor and got up. He intended to find and refill the tissue box.

Although Baek Sang-hyun said he could go anywhere in the house… Seong-woon hadn’t actually been to many places in this house. Should he ask where the tissues are? He briefly picked up his phone but put it down again. He’d be filming, and it seems silly to ask about this.

Seong-woon passed by Baek Sang-hyun’s bedroom that had appeared on TV and the ‘Jin Seong-woon Archive’, heading deeper into the hallway. There were about three more doors.

Opening the nearest door revealed simple exercise equipment. It seemed like a room used when unable to go to the gym. The next room was a closet. After scanning the neatly organized interior, Seong-woon opened the next room. Inside was…

“…Why is all this here?”

Jin Seong-woon’s belongings filled the room. Seong-woon just stared inside at the familiar objects, hand still on the doorknob.

Award plaques he received quite often when young, numerous well-worn scripts, notebooks full of concerns about acting, DVDs of favorite movies, and dramas. And the last birthday gift from his parents… an MP3 player they bought, saying he might get bored while waiting. Almost everything from Jin Seong-woon’s house had been moved here.

Seong-woon had never thought of going back to his original home, even after confirming his death. Why? It wasn’t such a short life, and he had lived so diligently, so why? …Was his previous life that detestable?

…Yes, he hated it. A life unloved by anyone was hateful. It was exhausting. Enough to slash his left wrist with his own hand.

Unconsciously, Seong-woon tightly gripped his left wrist. Instead of a rough scar, he felt the smooth smartwatch against his palm.

His chest felt tight, and it was hard to breathe, but only after beating his chest several times could Seong-woon barely step inside.

“Why on earth…”

It wasn’t haphazardly piled up, but neatly organized. As if the owner of these items was still alive. Not even dust had accumulated. As if someone cleaned whenever they had time.

Sitting on the floor, Seong-woon reached out and pulled out the nearest script. It was a school-based drama he filmed when he was about 15. He played the role of a sensitive and leadership-oriented class president… Until then, people didn’t dislike Jin Seong-woon much.

Seong-woon examined the room until late at night. Why did Baek Sang-hyun move all of Jin Seong-woon’s belongings here, and why did he organize them like this, as if doing so would somehow make him understand?

After flipping through notebooks for a long time, Seong-woon picked up a loose sheet that fluttered out. It was a handwritten note Seong-woon had made while studying accounting principles. Filled with the same handwriting as the notebook he just opened.

“…”

From far away, he heard the front door open and close urgently. Footsteps approaching almost at a run, then stopping in front of the room Seong-woon had entered.

“Ah, Seon—”

Baek Sang-hyun stopped abruptly as he was about to call him Seong-woon. Thinking about what word might have followed, Seong-woon inserted the handwritten note back between the notebook pages and closed it.

“…This doesn’t seem to be your belongings, sunbae-nim.”

Seong-woon put the closed notebook back in its place. He should just pretend he didn’t see anything, like it was nothing, like he knew nothing… No, what exactly did Jin Seong-woon mean to Baek Sang-hyun that he would keep the belongings of someone even his parents despised like this…

“Why… is all of this here?”

“I heard there was no one to sort through it.”

“Even so, why would you take someone else’s things, sunbae-nim…”

“I couldn’t bear to see them thrown away… Why are you angry?”

Baek Sang-hyun took a big step into the room and tidied up the areas Seong-woon had touched. The emotions emanating from his fingertips were so intense that Seong-woon took a shaky breath.

“It has nothing to do with you anyway.”

Right, he shouldn’t get angry. But… when Seong-woon recalled the photos of Baek Sang-hyun at Jin Seong-woon’s funeral. Why on earth did he cry for someone like Jin Seong-woon, and keep his belongings so preciously…

“He was nobody special, wasn’t he? Hated by everyone, only hearing comments about being unpleasant…”

“Don’t talk like that.”

Baek Sang-hyun cut him off with a voice colder than ever before. It felt like he had a bone-chilling aura that would cut you in half.

Seong-woon took a breath, trembling as he tried to keep calm. Despite being pressed by that pressure, feeling elated by Baek Sang-hyun’s anger was quite paradoxical. If Baek Sang-hyun was defending Jin Seong-woon, wouldn’t it be okay to confess”genuinely”?

But what if… what if his thoughts were wrong? What if Baek Sang-hyun’s actions so far weren’t because he thought Jin Seong-woon’s soul was in Ryu Chae-yoon’s body, but just because their acting was similar? He might not be having such crazy thoughts at all.

If he stayed here any longer, he felt like he might blurt out everything without thinking of the consequences. Just because he wanted to ease his own mind. Seong-woon got up, covering his mouth with both hands.

“…I want to go home.”

“Ryu Chae-yoon.”

It was too heavy, the emotions Baek Sang-hyun held for Jin Seong-woon were too heavy, and Seong-woon didn’t want to offer some “sincerity” just to complete a quest.

He truly wanted to respond to Baek Sang-hyun’s sincerity with sincerity. 

* * *

Seong-woon returned home again. Ryu Chang-yoon and the rest of the family were satisfied but anxious. It was because Seong-woon had been locked up in the archive room since he came back, seemingly out of it.

“Chae-yoon-ah…”

“…”

He could hear Ryu Ho-yoon calling him anxiously from outside the room. Seong-woon paused the drama that had been playing continuously on TV. After watching TV for two days straight, with barely any sleep, his head felt fuzzy.

“Baby, let’s play with hyung, okay?”

That baby talk never gets old, does it? ‘…I guess I should’ve been used to it now? In a way, it’s a sweet and grateful way of calling me.’

Seong-woon barely managed to lift his limp body and open the door. Ryu Ho-yoon, who had been leaning on the door, stumbled in but managed to steady himself. He smiled brightly and spoke to Seong-woon as if nothing was different.

“Ha-yoon is downstairs too. Want to go eat something delicious with hyung and noona? Let’s go eat pancakes and ice cream, okay?”

“…I just want to rest a bit.”

“Are you feeling sick?”

“No.”

“Hmm… then let’s go out and eat something delicious. It’ll make you feel better.”

“…Do I look like I’m in a bad mood?”

“Yes.”

“Really?”

“Very much. Father is worried too.”

‘I thought I wasn’t showing it. I heard that Ryu Chae-yoon sometimes spent a lot of time in the fandom room, too. How do families notice these things so well? Is it because Jin Seong-woon and Ryu Chae-yoon are really becoming one now?’

“Pancakes?”

“Yes. Soufflé pancakes with really delicious vanilla ice cream!”

“Is that at Mom’s hotel too?”

“No, not there, a really delicious place. Let’s go, okay?”

Seong-woon could only nod at Ryu Ho-yoon’s kindness. He could no longer consider them strangers.

With his arms linked by Ryu Ho-yoon and Ryu Ha-yoon, Seong-woon went to what seemed to be a trendy place on social media and ate fluffy pancakes. What is this, are even his taste buds merging now? The sweet, sweet pancakes didn’t feel so cloying.

But he still wanted to drink some coffee. Maybe Ryu Chae-yoon wanted this too. People tend to want things more when they’re told not to.

“I joined Chae-yoon’s fan cafe too!”

“…Fan cafe?”

“Yeah. More people joined than I expected.”

‘Ah, right.’ Seong-woon logged into the fan cafe for the first time using the address his manager had given him before. There really were more people registered than he expected, and there were many letters and pretty sentences sent to Ryu Chae-yoon.

Fan Letters—

I started another day watching Ryu Chae-yoon’s videos. Thanks to Ryu Chae-yoon, I think I can work harder at my company with more energy! I want to see you in many more works.

Is oppa filming today too? When it’s released, I’ll go watch it twenty times!

After the semester ended, I had nothing to look forward to. Don’t you take summer classes…

Is there a reason you’ve been posting a lot of scenery photos on SNS lately? It makes me feel good thinking I’m seeing a sky similar to what Ryu Chae-yoon sees. I hope Ryu Chae-yoon is as happy as I am feeling.

***

When he was Jin Seong-woon, he really… didn’t have a single fan. Ah, he does have one now…Seong-woon smiled softly, remembering Baek Sang-hyun’s room where he had collected almost all of his filmography.

He recalled Baek Sang-hyun, who had approached him from the beginning. To the point where he wondered why he hadn’t realized it. Baek Sang-hyun… had liked him. Back then, Seong-woon was wrapped up in self-deprecation and self-pity, thinking everyone would hate him.

Seong-woon clutched his head with his hands. He really didn’t know. Actually… how could he not like him? The one person who liked him when everyone else hated him. Even romance drama settings aren’t this excessive.

A tear dropped onto the table. Ryu Ho-yoon and Ryu Ha-yoon’s jaws dropped as they watched him.

“Chae, Chae-yoon…?”

They barely managed to call Ryu Chae-yoon’s name. Now, even that call seems to be calling him. Not the superficial Ryu Chae-yoon, but his soul.

“Why, why are you crying? Huh? Why, did you see some malicious comments?”

“…No. Just… because I’m happy.”

Ryu Ho-yoon hugged Seong-woon’s head tightly. Seong-woon leaned on him quietly for a while, then dropped his arms. He felt that he had to live somehow, both as Jin Seong-woon and as Ryu Chae-yoon.

Even if this was playing into the hands of that Yoon Gwan-wi and karma, Seong-woon couldn’t let go of life with his own hands. Because he had let go once before, he could paint this feeling even more vividly.

“Shall we go home? Huh? Or to the hospital…!”

“I want to go home.”

“O-okay… You’re alright, right?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

Seong-woon wiped his slightly reddened eyes and smiled brightly. At that smile, the twin siblings were more relieved than ever before. Strangely, at this moment, Ryu Chae-yoon felt like their real sibling, regardless of memories or anything else.

“Rest, Chae-yoon. Go to sleep quickly. Okay? You have to go filming again tomorrow.”

“Yeah.”

“When filming is all done, want to go on a trip with hyung?”

“Would Chang-yoon hyung let us?”

“Let’s rebel together!”

“…Okay. Thanks, hyung.”

Having his head patted now felt good. Seong-woon left his head under Ho-yoon’s hand for a while before going up to his room.

Seong-woon no longer tried to find the imprints left by Jin Seong-woon while watching Baek Sang-hyun’s acting. He didn’t dwell on unreasonable guilt and remorse by digging deeper into unnecessary things. But…

Manager Lee Hyeong-seok: Young master, I’m sending you the collected behind-the-scenes reactions for “Orbital Collision”.

That self-positivity soon crumbled. Seong-woon’s face froze coldly when he saw the title of the post right below the one he was reading from the link his manager sent.

“I captured and organized the list of works Baek Sang-hyun mentioned on Same Age Friends…”

Work List – Director – Starring Actors

The genres and directors/lead actors vary… but anyway, exactly one actor overlaps in all of them? And that actor’s filmography doesn’t miss any either. It’s an actor named Jin Seong-woon who acted for quite a long time from child roles and died in an accident this year… Ah, but I really disliked this person. Could it be that Baek Sang-hyun liked this actor?

142 comments

He even went to the funeral

➥He was there for all 3 days…

Wow, it must be true. Looking at how he collected all this, he must have been a real fan?

Isn’t this who he talked about in the Same Age Friends interview?

➥Well, it’s too much to be a coincidence, nothing more and nothing less.

➥➥Ugh, he really has no taste

Jin Seong-woon acted well though…

➥So what? He was irritating just to look at

➥➥For real, that’s why he was more annoying lol. He acted the pathetic guy role well lol

Can’t he like him as an actor?

➥Well, that’s true lol but why him of all people? is what I’m thinking

Are you guys criticizing someone again over something that’s not even certain?

➥It doesn’t seem uncertain though

But why does everyone hate Jin Seong-woon so much? He looked normal and acted really well

➥He was just instinctively unlikable

➥➥I also strangely disliked him, just looking at him was irritating

You guys are the idiots, fuck. Is it normal to just hate someone who didn’t do anything wrong?

➥Are there Jin Seong-woon fans too? lol

➥➥It must be a Baek Sang-hyun fan lol. They’re frantically defending Jin Seong-woon because they’re afraid their oppa will be criticized for being associated with Jin Seong-woon lol