WANL Ch 15

“Jihoon. I’ve liked you. For a long time.”

Even though I had rehearsed this line multiple times, my voice trembled miserably as I said it.

Cold sweat formed between my tightly clenched fists, and I felt dizzy, as if I might collapse at any moment. Is this what confessing love always feels like? Nanyeong was so overcome with fear that he even forgot how to breathe.

“I knew it would surprise you, but I wanted to say it at least once. I’m prepared to not see your face again because of this.”

“……”

“I… I don’t think I’ll be able to attend the wedding. So…”

Jihoon stood at the entrance, looking disheveled as if he had just woken up. The annoyance and bewilderment caused by an unexpected visitor in the middle of the night were plainly visible on his face. Even after Nanyeong’s clumsy confession ended, Jihoon remained silent for a while.

Nanyeong watched as Jihoon’s expression slowly, ever so slowly, changed. The extreme tension dulled his perception, making it hard to discern what that expression meant. After what felt like an eternity, Nanyeong realized that what appeared on Jihoon’s face was disgust.

“What kind of nonsense is this?”

The cold gaze made Nanyeong want to run away instantly.

“What kind of nonsense are you spouting?”

“No… I misspoke, I didn’t mean it.”

“Breaking into my place in the middle of the night, what do you think you’re doing?”

Even a scolding that one might expect for waking someone in the middle of the night was too much for Nanyeong to handle. This was because he had never seen Jihoon with such a cold demeanor before. Avoiding Jihoon’s gaze, Nanyeong stumbled to make excuses.

“I misunderstood… I was mistaken. It wasn’t meant for you. I must have drunk too much.”

He had to come up with some excuse, no matter how unconvincing. Having faced rejection head-on, this was the only choice he could make in that moment. Though disgusted with himself for retracting his confession in mere seconds, his immediate desire was to escape the situation.

“I’ll go.”

Nanyeong stepped back and reached for the door. But as soon as he grabbed the doorknob, a sudden force pushed him backward.

“Ugh…”

“I don’t smell any alcohol on you, though.”

Jihoon’s lips curled into a mocking smile. Nanyeong blinked and exhaled a shaky breath. Jihoon had grabbed him by the collar. A dull pain crept up his back where it had hit the metal door.

“What did you say? Jihoon, I like you? Damn… If you’re going to lie, at least make it believable. Is there another Jihoon you know besides me?”

The cold and cutting appearance of the once kind and gentle friend felt like a lie. Desperately wanting to flee, Nanyeong fumbled at the door handle, pushing it open just enough to create a narrow gap. As he wedged his arm into the opening to widen it, he spoke hastily.

“I’m sorry. Just forget it… Ah!”

But Jihoon yanked the door shut with unrelenting strength.

“Ugh… Ah… Ngh.”

The door slammed shut with a thud, trapping Nanyeong’s arm and causing unbearable pain. Jihoon, frustrated that the door hadn’t closed fully, pulled Nanyeong back inside with a rough motion. The throbbing pain in his arm numbed his senses, and tears welled up in his eyes.

“Forget it? After saying something like that, you want me to forget it?”

“It was a mistake. Ugh, it was a mistake.”

“What’s the mistake here? Liking me? Or confessing to me?”

The man who once seemed so angelic now spat cruel words that were almost unrecognizable.

“From my perspective, both are mistakes.”

“Ugh, I…”

Once again, Jihoon’s rough hands grabbed his collar. With his back pinned to the door, Nanyeong felt Jihoon’s grip tighten around his neck, making it harder to breathe. As Nanyeong shook his head, trying to escape, Jihoon’s grip only grew stronger.

“Nanyeong. What the hell is this… huh? I knew you were that kind of guy, but you’re truly selfish. Making someone feel like absolute crap and then running away like a coward.”

The lack of oxygen made Nanyeong’s vision blur. Raising a trembling hand, he touched Jihoon’s firm hand, his voice panicked.

“L-let go…”

Before he could finish his sentence, the back of his head slammed against the door with a loud thud. The direct impact sent a blinding white noise flashing before his eyes.

“You can’t even come to the wedding after all this? I wasted more than ten years accommodating a worthless bastard like you, and now you’re just going to run off without even paying the congratulatory money? Is that how your family saves money, by being despicable? Hey, open your eyes.”

Nanyeong opened his eyes, which had been fluttering shut. His body instinctively responded to Jihoon’s voice, one it had never resisted.

“You enjoyed it, huh? When I played along with your antics and smiled indulgently? Damn, this feels awful… wagging my tail for a filthy homo bastard like you.”

“I can’t… breathe.”

“Did you fantasize about my naked body or something?” Jihoon whispered low into his ear. When Nanyeong flinched, Jihoon’s eyes gleamed with cruel hatred, pushing him further.

“You filthy homo bastard.”

Jihoon slammed Nanyeong’s head into the metal door repeatedly, bam, bam, bam! The repeated impact on the same spot caused a mild concussion. Amid the brain-numbing pain, Nanyeong felt disoriented.

Jihoon wasn’t a perfect person with only virtues. Still, Nanyeong never imagined he would be a homophobe. At least in that regard, Jihoon had always seemed like a fair person.

“Ugh…” Feeling nauseous from the concussion, Nanyeong’s empty stomach churned. Jihoon, startled, let go of him, and Nanyeong collapsed helplessly.

“Goddamn it, you’re really something else.”

Just as he was about to pass out, the cold tiles on the floor jolted Nanyeong awake. His left arm, which instinctively tried to support him, throbbed unnervingly. The pain was ominously unpleasant, far worse than a simple muscle strain. The more he tried to focus, the sharper the pain in his head became.

Throughout his life, he thought he had grown accustomed to facing negative emotions like jealousy, envy, and vividly palpable inferiority. But that was arrogance. He realized now that he had never once directly experienced violence. He hadn’t been naive enough to fantasize about a positive outcome after confessing, but he never imagined his innocence would lead him into such a disastrous situation.

Nanyeong sneered at himself.

“If I had confessed earlier….”

“What?”

Jihoon bent down, frowning. Nanyeong raised his hazy gaze to look at him.

“Then I wouldn’t have… wasted so much time….”

Before he could finish his sentence, Jihoon kicked him hard in the stomach. Nanyeong ended up vomiting onto the smooth tiles of the entryway.

“Urgh….”

“You bastard!”

Irritated by the mess Nanyeong made of his entryway, Jihoon kicked him in the face without mercy. Nanyeong bit his tongue in the process, and his mouth quickly filled with the taste of blood. The metallic tang made him smirk bitterly at himself. It was a fitting end to a miserable first love.

“Hah, just because I confessed… doesn’t mean I said you could beat me up.”

Nanyeong muttered and spat bright red blood onto the floor. Then, cradling his throbbing left arm, he looked Jihoon straight in the eye.

“I’ll… report you for assault.”

“Go ahead. If you want the whole world to know you’re a filthy homo.”

Nanyeong snorted.

“You want a public opinion battle, Jihoon?”

Jihoon stared at the suddenly chuckling Nanyeong as if he were a madman.

“In case you forgot, I know plenty of gossip about actor Jihoon Yoo to feed the reporters.”

Sitting on the tiled floor, his face bruised and bloodied, Nanyeong still managed to threaten him. It was instinctual, a reflex born from a life of never settling for a losing deal and always negotiating on equal terms.

“If you ruin me, I’ll ruin you.”

Jihoon’s gaze darkened with disgust, and another kick landed near Nanyeong’s ribs.

“Ugh.”

“Rejected and immediately resorting to blackmail over a weak spot? That’s pathetic, Nanyeong! No wonder no one loves you. Your personality’s trash, that’s why your marriage failed. Except for the bootlickers, you don’t even have a single real friend. Who would ever like someone like you?”

Jihoon, still out of breath, continued kicking while hurling insults. By the time Nanyeong crumpled powerlessly into a corner of the entryway, unable to resist any longer, Jihoon wiped the sweat from his temple and spat out more curses.

“Fuck, Nanyeong. Know your place. You’re threatening me now? You must have forgotten something.”

“……”

“The guy who sent me those DMs.”

At that moment, Nanyeong’s limp body flinched slightly.

“If I tell that guy I want to buy the rest of the photos, how much do you think he’ll sell them for?”

Jihoon grinned.

A flood of memories returned—countless photos of himself Hyunjae had taken. There was no guarantee Hyunjae wouldn’t sell them to someone else. Especially considering what he had done to him, the trust was even shakier.

Hyunjae wouldn’t do that.

The only person who might have been on his side was someone he had pushed to the edge. Even so, Nanyeong wanted to deny it.

“It’s pointless.”

Nanyeong managed to answer, barely hiding his fear. But Jihoon, having caught on to his terror, smirked, knowing his threat had hit the mark.

“Oh, by the way, the person who sent those DMs… must’ve been a guy, right?”

“……”

“Because you’re a homo. Am I right?”

Ꮺ

Nanyeong woke up from the nightmare.

When he briefly stirred awake, the surrounding stillness was almost unnaturally quiet.

When he opened his eyes, Hyunjae’s face was right there, asleep nearby. Blinking habitually a few times, Nanyeong felt cold tears trickling down his temples. It seemed he had cried again after dreaming of that terrible day.

Since the day of his confession, Nanyeong had dreamed of that event over and over. The beatings weren’t there anymore. Neither were Jihoon’s cruel eyes. Yet, it felt too real, and even though he knew it was just a dream, shaking off the emotions of that day was never easy. His body trembled faintly, almost imperceptibly, as he lay awake.

Looking at Hyunjae’s peaceful, sleeping face, Nanyeong hoped he hadn’t muttered anything embarrassing in his sleep.

The closed lashes cast gentle arcs along his long eyes. When those eyes slowly opened, thin double eyelids created lines that seemed almost magical.

His defined eyebrows were sharp and dark, matching the lustrous black of his hair. His cheeks were full of youthful elasticity and shine.

Slowly lowering his gaze, Nanyeong traced the line from Hyunjae’s face to his neck. The skin was a healthy hue. Smooth to the eyes and even more delightful to touch, Hyunjae’s presence alone calmed the faint trembling in his body.

As Nanyeong stared intently at Hyunjae’s face, the latter’s eyes slowly opened.

His unfocused eyes blinked slowly under the thin lids, and then they met Nanyeong’s gaze.

Hyunjae’s sleepy eyes blinked a few more times in confusion before settling as he recognized the person in front of him. Slowly, reality returned to his gaze.

“Yesterday…”

Hyunjae’s lips moved faintly before stopping, his brows knitting slightly.

“Did you sleep well?”

The way he spoke was ambiguous—neither particularly warm nor cold. Despite it being a simple morning greeting, it gave Nanyeong a strange sense of relief.

“Not really.”

“……”

“I had a nightmare.”

“I see.”

Hyunjae replied casually, lowering his gaze. His demeanor set a clear boundary. Of course, he wouldn’t be interested in hearing about the subject of the nightmare, especially if it involved Jihoon. Regretting his earlier honesty, Nanyeong immediately wished he hadn’t said anything.

It was Hyunjae who broke the brief silence.

“Your eyes are red.”

It must’ve been from crying. Nanyeong wondered how much he had cried. Nightmares always dragged on endlessly, detailed to an unbearable degree. Being a dream, they should have cut corners, but once started, they played out in excruciatingly thorough loops.

Surely, he hadn’t cried all night. Hyunjae’s gaze felt like a thorn, and finally unable to stand it, Nanyeong stirred to check his appearance.

“Ugh…”

However, at that moment, Hyunjae grabbed Nanyeong by the shoulders. With one arm in a cast and unable to move freely, Nanyeong was pulled down with little effort, helplessly lying back again. As soon as his head hit the surface, Hyunjae’s face drew closer.

“Ugh…”

And then he kissed him.

Nanyeong was deeply surprised inside but didn’t resist, accepting the kiss. It was a gentle kiss, as though Hyunjae was trying to feel the texture of his lips, lightly biting and releasing them repeatedly. Hyunjae’s thick thumb softly caressed the red corners of Nanyeong’s eyes, swollen from tears, over and over again.

The tender gesture, as if washing away the nightmare, calmed Nanyeong. He carefully placed his uninjured arm on Hyunjae’s shoulder. Just as he was about to pull him into a hug…

“Ah…”

At the same time as Hyunjae’s tongue slipped into his mouth, Nanyeong’s lips, which had naturally parted, felt a scab peeling off with a soft tug. The sharp pain made him furrow his brows, and Hyunjae pulled back.

The thumb that had been gently stroking the corner of his eye now rested on the spot where the scab had been. Nanyeong, without thinking, met Hyunjae’s gaze. As Hyunjae focused intently on the injured area, he pressed firmly on the torn spot.

“Ow!”

The sudden action made Nanyeong’s shoulder flinch. Hyunjae asked,

“Does it hurt?”

With tears still in his eyes, Nanyeong responded curtly,

“Of course, it hurts when you touch it like that.”

“Who hit you?”

“Mind your business. I fell down the stairs.”

Hyunjae, who had been staring intently at Nanyeong’s lips, locked eyes with him. Though his narrowed gaze resembled a smile, he wasn’t smiling at all.

“You must think I’m an idiot.”

“……”

“Right. That’s why you treated me like one.”

His tone was calm, but a chilling undertone lay hidden within.

Nanyeong realized he had upset Hyunjae. Yet, whenever someone tried to pry into his vulnerabilities, he couldn’t help but become defensive. He hadn’t meant to make him angry, but would telling the truth improve the situation?

While Nanyeong hesitated, Hyunjae leaned in again. Resuming the interrupted kiss, he intertwined their tongues immediately. Nanyeong secretly felt relieved.

“Mm… mhm…”

The skillful kiss made him let out soft noises from his throat. When Hyunjae’s sharp tongue lightly grazed the roof of his mouth, a sweet sensation spread through his body, starting from his waist. Nanyeong’s tense body relaxed helplessly. When their tongues briefly parted, he clung to Hyunjae’s neck with his uninjured arm, unwilling to let go.

As always, Hyunjae was an exceptional kisser. Maybe it was because he had considerable experience with women. But it wasn’t just that he was skilled—he was always gentle. He made an effort to find the spots his partner enjoyed and carefully observed their shifting emotions. He had even provided such considerate intimacy to someone like him, who paid for the night.

“Haa…”

With a soft, moist sound, their lips separated. Hyunjae pulled back slightly and asked,

“Does your arm hurt?”

Was he worried about him? With dazed eyes, Nanyeong shook his head.

“…It’s fine as long as I stay still.”

His body wasn’t in any shape for sex. But at that moment, he wanted Hyunjae. It had been a long time since they’d seen each other, and once they touched, he realized just how much he had missed this warmth. His body was already burning from just the kiss.

“Then how about this?”

Hyunjae pressed down on the area over the cast with one hand. It wasn’t a particularly gentle touch. Startled by the act more than the pain, Nanyeong quickly lifted his head.

“That’s…”

“If my weight is on you, it’ll be heavier than this.”

“……”

“Then you get on top.”

“……”

Nanyeong, who had been blankly staring with his mouth slightly open, understood Hyunjae’s meaning a beat later. He was suggesting they switch to the cowgirl position.

“You’re telling me to get on top?”

“Yes.”

Hyunjae replied firmly. Nanyeong’s eyes wavered. The cowgirl position was something Nanyeong had never really liked. The act of moving one’s hips to chase desire felt extremely shameful.

Moreover, if there was something Nanyeong disliked as much as the cowgirl position, it was the doggy style. The doggy style, where one couldn’t see the partner’s face properly, felt like only the sensation of being penetrated existed, which made it very repulsive. Therefore, Nanyeong had only tried both positions once, led by Hyunjae, and never again after that. Thus, when Hyunjae requested these positions that Nanyeong originally disliked, Nanyeong hesitated.

As Nanyeong struggled with inner confusion and Hyunjae’s intentions, Hyunjae spoke up.

“Is it hard to keep your balance because of your arm?”

With that, he licked Nanyeong’s neck, who hadn’t yet given any response.

“Mmm….”

The moist and ticklish sensation made Nanyeong’s eyes glaze over again. As Hyunjae sucked on the earlobe, the wet sound grew louder, and a moan escaped naturally. Nanyeong ran a hand through Hyunjae’s soft hair. The yellowed, shabby ceiling came into view. The cramped studio apartment was filled with household items, and the thin mattress on the hard floor felt very uncomfortable.

As Nanyeong felt a strange sensation looking at the realistic room, Hyunjae was unbuttoning Nanyeong’s shirt. Even amidst this, the wet sounds continued as he caressed the neck and ear, making the mind hazy.

Due to the cast, it was difficult to remove the shirt completely, so a hand slipped in through the few unbuttoned gaps. The dry palm roughly brushed against the flat chest, making Nanyeong’s waist jerk.

“Ah!”

Gathering the non-existent flesh, Hyunjae pinched the skin on the chest tightly and then released it. The rough touch made Nanyeong think the touch was harsh, and at that moment, Hyunjae painfully pinched the delicate nipple. The merciless touch felt sharply painful on the nipple that was tense and erect.

“That hurts!”

“You always hated it when I touched here.”

Hyunjae said calmly but did not remove his hand. As he said, Nanyeong did not particularly enjoy breast play. It wasn’t because it didn’t feel good; it was because Hyunjae, who was originally heterosexual, might be imagining a woman in his mind during these moments, and that thought was unpleasant.

“There’s nothing to touch. Don’t do it.”

Ignoring this, Hyunjae twisted Nanyeong’s nipple hard again. Then, he repeatedly grabbed and released the fleshless chest, pinching the nipple.

“I said don’t do it.”

At this point, Nanyeong started to feel a chill. However, Hyunjae pulled back the collar to fully expose one side of the chest and started sucking on the nipple.

“Haah, cold…. cold….”

“Mmm….”

The pressure on the erect nipple and the accompanying tingling sensation greatly startled Nanyeong. Usually, Hyunjae would back off immediately if told it was unpleasant. There had never been a time when he acted so forcefully, so his actions felt unfamiliar.

“I said don’t do it. Stop.”

When Nanyeong said to stop for the third time, Hyunjae silently lifted his head. The sensation of the saliva on the nipple drying was stark.

“…….”

Hyunjae, with wet lips, stared at Nanyeong and forcefully sat him up. Then, before Nanyeong could find his balance, Hyunjae slid his hand down and suddenly thrust it into the pants.

“Wait….”

The sudden intrusive touch immediately reached inside the underwear and grabbed the buttocks. The uninvited hand kneading the flesh felt like a rude intrusion, and Nanyeong felt a strong sense of rejection.

“I haven’t even washed yet.”

“I don’t mind.”

Nanyeong had a mild case of obsessive-compulsive disorder and always meticulously prepared his body before any intimate acts. Conversely, Hyunjae got more excited by the scent of the body.

“I’ll go wash. Wait….”

Nanyeong used his relatively mobile right arm to push away Hyunjae, who was acting like an animal. However, Hyunjae paid no attention and moved his hand along the crevice, pressing firmly around the entrance.

As the fingertip finally tore through the mucous membrane, the pale-faced Nanyeong hit Hyunjae’s shoulder several times. But the resistance was futile; at that moment, the middle finger shallowly penetrated the back entrance. The feeling of Hyunjae touching the unprepared area was horrifying, and Nanyeong genuinely struggled.

“I said I don’t want to!”

Pushing him away forcefully, the hands that were clinging to the body fell off.

“Haah, haah….”

Nanyeong looked at Hyunjae with bewildered eyes, breathing shallowly. Hyunjae had stepped back cleanly, as if he had never been rough, and was now quietly watching Nanyeong.

“You should have said you didn’t want to from the beginning.”

“Wh-what…?”

“You never said you didn’t want to.”

Nanyeong retraced his words. He had said “don’t do it” several times, but as Hyunjae pointed out, he had only said “I don’t want to” once, at the very end.

“You often throw tantrums even when you’re enjoying it, so it’s easy to get confused.”

With that, Hyunjae neatly got up from his seat. Nanyeong stared blankly at his retreating figure, still breathing heavily.

After Hyunjae disappeared into the bathroom, the sound of water could be heard from behind the closed door.

The reason he didn’t say he didn’t want to was because he didn’t dislike Hyunjae.

He wanted to sleep with him. In fact, he had been very aroused. But he was just confused by Hyunjae pushing him in a way he didn’t like.

Come to think of it, their relationship had always been on Nanyeong’s terms. During their intimacy, if Hyunjae tried something Nanyeong didn’t like, Nanyeong would immediately express his displeasure, and Hyunjae would back off right away. So, it felt strange to see Hyunjae satisfying his own desires in this way.

“Haah….”

Nanyeong caught his breath and replayed the situation from the moment he woke up until now. Something felt off, but even the astute Nanyeong couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was.

A moment later, the sound of water stopped, and Hyunjae emerged from the bathroom. With a towel around his neck, he stood in the kitchen just a few steps away and began preparing breakfast.

Hyunjae managed to cook in that cramped space. He poured water into a small pot to boil something and scooped the leftover rice from the rice cooker to reheat it on the stove. Soon, the smell of food filled not only the small kitchen but the entire house. The smell of kimchi was strong. It wasn’t appetizing at all.

Nanyeong found himself staring blankly at Hyunjae’s busy figure. Then he realized that he could stare so intently because Hyunjae wasn’t paying any attention to him.

Hyunjae set up a small table between the kitchen and the room and started eating by himself, with his back to Nanyeong. As Nanyeong watched him eat, his stomach growled loudly.

“Are you hungry?”

It seemed Hyunjae heard. Embarrassed, Nanyeong’s ears turned red instantly. Fortunately, Hyunjae spoke without looking at him.

“There’s nothing to eat here. You should go home and eat.”

“…….”

Nanyeong tried to respond but couldn’t figure out what to say, so he just opened and closed his mouth.

Did he want to say coldly that there was no need to care?

Did he want to ask if Hyunjae really wanted him to leave?

Did he want to ask when they would see each other next?

But Hyunjae didn’t wait for a response. Looking at his back, Nanyeong thought it was good that he didn’t say anything.

After finishing his meal, Hyunjae cleared the dishes and wiped the table clean with a wrung-out cloth. Then he folded the table and placed it next to the sink. After cleaning up, Hyunjae turned to face Nanyeong. Their eyes met for the first time in a while, and Hyunjae walked over to Nanyeong.

“You should go now.”

Nanyeong, still sitting on the mattress, looked up at him.

“…You want me to go?”

“Yes. You look hungry. And sleepy. And you’re in pain. So go and rest.”

There it was again. That tone. Kind yet blunt. It seemed like he was being considerate, but in reality, he was pushing Nanyeong away. Nanyeong remembered being gently guided out of the house by Hyunjae’s soft touch the night before. His mouth went dry.

“But we… we haven’t done anything,” Nanyeong said bravely.

Hyunjae gave a small, dismissive laugh. Even though only one corner of his mouth lifted, his gentle features didn’t make it look like he was trying to hurt anyone. Nanyeong tried to decipher Hyunjae’s inscrutable expression. Why did a face he knew so well feel so unfamiliar?

“We didn’t do anything because of you.”

“…….”

“You said you didn’t want to have sex. I don’t want to force someone who doesn’t want to.”

A faint shock struck the back of Nanyeong’s head. He and Hyunjae were having entirely different conversations.

“Not that…”

“Not what?”

“About where we’ll meet from now on…”

“From now on?”

Hyunjae asked back, sounding genuinely confused.

“Yeah, this place is too cramped.”

At that, Hyunjae took a long, exaggerated look around the small, run-down villa. His actions were so theatrical that it was clear he was doing it on purpose.

“I’ll get another studio apartment. If you don’t want to go back to the old one, we can find an entirely new place. You’d prefer a new place over something like this, right?”

“…”

Hyunjae stared silently at Nanyeong. Somehow, it felt difficult to meet his gaze, so Nanyeong averted his eyes.

“And… how often we’ll meet from now on…”

“Hyung.”

“Huh?”

Nanyeong slowly lifted his head. The sight of Hyunjae’s emotionless face made his heart sink.

“Are we… meeting again?”

Hyunjae dragged out the words as he asked, his face devoid of any expression. Nanyeong barely managed to reply, feeling a strange sense of distance.

“I… I want to.”

“…”

“Isn’t that why you let me in yesterday?”

Anxiety gnawed at him. If Hyunjae acted like this, it would be impossible to reconcile. No, setting reconciliation aside, Nanyeong could barely keep up with the conversation.

“Yesterday… you just looked so pitiful.”

“What?”

“You were desperate not to be thrown out.”

Nanyeong was stunned. Until just a moment ago, he had felt fine, but learning how Hyunjae had perceived him made shame wash over him. Clinging to Hyunjae as he pushed him away must have been a pitiful sight. The humiliation he’d felt the night before surged back all at once.

“Then why did you sleep with me?”

“You… it’s because…”

Hyunjae turned his gaze away but then locked eyes with Nanyeong again.

“It’s all because of the photos, isn’t it? Don’t lead people on with talk about wanting to meet again.”

At that moment, tears welled up in Nanyeong’s eyes once more. He felt utterly wronged. Until Hyunjae mentioned the word “photos,” Nanyeong had completely forgotten about them. Hyunjae’s behavior was so bewildering that it had consumed his thoughts entirely. The cold realization of Hyunjae’s misunderstanding froze his blood.

“You should be honest. You’re just trying to score a big payday with those photos, aren’t you?”

“Yes.”

Hyunjae nodded without hesitation. At that moment, betrayal pierced Nanyeong’s heart so deeply that he was at a loss.

“You really put in the effort, huh? Pretending to be sincere, playing innocent.”

“…”

“Since when? The moment you realized who I was? You didn’t need to go this far. If you’d just acted sweetly, I would’ve given you more than enough money. Then again, this is why people without anything are terrifying. They don’t know when to stop.”

His words were sharp and venomous, and Hyunjae gave a bitter smile.

“Now you’re acting like yourself.”

“What?”

“Why do I feel more at ease when you act this way?”

Hyunjae smiled at Nanyeong’s incredulous expression. The slow curve of his lips made it hard to tell if he was smiling at all.

“Just tell me what you want.”

The situation suddenly felt humiliating—Hyunjae standing and looking down at him while he sat and looked up. Determined, Nanyeong tried to stand, even as he wobbled. The cast on his arm got in the way, so he used his other arm to steady himself against the wall. But before he could fully rise, Hyunjae pressed down on his shoulder, easily pushing him back into a sitting position.

“What do you want?”

“Ugh….”

The hand that had forcefully pressed down on the shoulder now touched the back of the head. As the head was pulled, the cheek collided with his chest.

“……!”

“Please suck it.”

Although it was said as a request, the force pressing down on the back of the head was no joke. The faint heat of the aroused flesh could be felt through the cloth. As the back of the head was pressed down firmly, making the entire face touch, Nanyeong moaned involuntarily. It was unclear whether the rising sensation was nausea or disgust.

“Let go….”

Even trying to turn the head away was useless. Somehow, the body was now wedged between Hyunjae’s legs and the wall. Unable to move, with each breath, the face pressed against the chest felt more and more swollen, and the nearby cloth kept sticking to the nose.

Hyunjae asked,

“Yesterday, you asked how much I would sell it for. I don’t need money.”

“Ugh, take it off….”

“How about doing a lot of this instead? One photo for each time. Because I still….”

“Take it off!”

“…like you.”

At the whispered words, Nanyeong involuntarily stopped moving.

Don’t make me laugh.

Saying “I like you” in this moment was deceitful. Using lewd photos as a weapon to blackmail and saying “I like you” couldn’t be sincere.

Besides, Nanyeong didn’t like fellatio. Even though they had been intimate countless times, the number of times Nanyeong had done it with his mouth could be counted on one hand. Pushing for a disliked act while saying “I like you” was the height of contradiction.

Yet, strangely, hearing “I like you” made the heart flutter oddly. As if hypnotized, the words had an effect. The image of Hyunjae confessing with tear-filled eyes, saying he wanted to be in a relationship, lingered in the mind.

The fingers sticking out of the cast trembled. Nanyeong swallowed dryly. As if urging, Hyunjae slightly increased the pressure on the hand holding the back of the head.

“Fine. I’ll do it.”

Nanyeong said irritably, raising a trembling hand to slowly lower Hyunjae’s sweatpants.

The black cotton underwear was a brand Nanyeong had bought. It was almost laughable. Not just the underwear, but traces of things Nanyeong had given were scattered throughout the house. Even though the relationship had long been ruined, knowing that Hyunjae hadn’t thrown away the gifts made Nanyeong feel a bit better.

As the underwear was lowered, the first thing to appear was the glossy pubic hair, shiny like the hair on the head. Following that, as the elastic band was pulled down, the penis, not yet fully erect, was already quite large. Even though it wasn’t the first or second time seeing it, and it had been inside the body dozens of times, it was still intimidating.

“…….”

Before putting it in the mouth, stroking it a few times with the hand made it swell to the size Nanyeong remembered, the cock standing tall. The substantial, heavy-looking penis was fully erect, maintaining its upright angle.

Nanyeong continued to stroke it with the hand, arousing Hyunjae’s excitement. Knowing that Nanyeong was hesitating, Hyunjae took the initiative and pressed the head of his penis against the lips. As the flesh rubbed not just the lips but also the cheek, Nanyeong flinched and looked up.

The hand that had been pressing the back of the head was now gently stroking the hair on the crown. Unable to resist the soothing touch, Nanyeong lowered the head again and slightly opened the mouth.

“Open your jaw more. Your teeth are touching.”

The moment of swallowing, which Nanyeong thought could be controlled, was a miscalculation. As soon as Nanyeong opened the trembling jaw wider, the heavy flesh immediately filled the narrow space of the mouth. The lip, which had a scab from being hit by Jihoon, tore open again before it could heal. Moreover, the penis filling the mouth mercilessly pushed deeper, instantly touching the sensitive area beyond the throat.

“Ugh….”

Tears welled up in the eyes. Looking up with tear-filled eyes, the gaze met Hyunjae’s calm face. The hand reached down to stroke the tear-filled corners of the eyes, almost as if pitying. Instantly, Nanyeong’s eyes flashed with anger. It wasn’t emotional crying, and being misunderstood was unpleasant. It was just a physiological reaction to being touched in a sensitive spot. But with the mouth stuffed with the penis, there was no way to defend.

Eugh… Ugh….

In the quiet room, the only sound was Nanyeong’s mouth being ravaged. There was nowhere to escape, already pressed against the wall. With each of Hyunjae’s thrusts, Nanyeong’s head bumped softly against the wall.

Saliva overflowed in the mouth, and a much more sloppy, wet sound than a kiss was heard. The uncontrolled, sticky saliva flowed down the chin along the lips. Hyunjae, with an expression of suppressed excitement, demanded that it be swallowed as deeply as possible.

“More, do more…. Just open here.”

As he said that, Hyunjae gently stroked the chin and neck. Nanyeong glared at him, trembling. As their eyes met, the penis thrust even deeper, causing nausea, but Hyunjae did not back off at all. Silent gagging accompanied saliva dripping from the mouth.

Was fellatio always like this? Hyunjae often did it for Nanyeong. Even though he had never learned how, Hyunjae sincerely sucked his cock, driven by the desire to see Nanyeong get excited, and he looked just as satisfied. Nanyeong had no idea it could be this painful for the receiving end.

“You didn’t know, did you? You have a talent for this.”

Saying that, Hyunjae reached out and touched Nanyeong’s neck.

A moment later, Nanyeong realized that Hyunjae was touching his neck to confirm that he had completely swallowed his penis, the outline visible. What did the mouth and esophagus look like now? Fear of reaching an unimaginable realm made Nanyeong forget how to breathe at that moment. Already, the constant stimulation in the nauseating area made it difficult to breathe through the nose. As Nanyeong’s chest heaved and an abnormal breathing sound escaped, Hyunjae pulled out his penis to allow him to breathe. Nanyeong coughed heavily and tried to fall forward.

“Haah, cough…. Haah, haah….”

“Come to your senses. Can you breathe?”

Hyunjae gently slapped the cheeks a few times to avoid hurting them. The touch on the tear-soaked cheeks felt cold. Nanyeong fiercely shook off that hand, but the weakened wrist just seemed like a tantrum.

“If it’s too hard, do you want to stop? You can give up. It’s a bit of a waste after all this effort.”

Defiantly spitting on the blanket, Nanyeong pulled Hyunjae’s waist back. The sudden stimulation finally made Hyunjae’s face contort. Feeling a slight sense of victory, Nanyeong closed his eyes and sucked hard on Hyunjae’s penis. Increasing the pressure in the mouth allowed him to stimulate Hyunjae sufficiently without swallowing it all the way to the throat.

All the talk about having a talent for it or giving up if it’s too hard was just to provoke him. The intentions of someone ten years younger were transparent. Driven by a competitive spirit, Nanyeong defiantly sucked Hyunjae’s penis vigorously. Simultaneously stimulating it with his hand, Hyunjae soon let out a low moan and ejaculated.

“Huh….

“Ugh….

Trying to pull back as quickly as possible, semen splattered on the lips, cheeks, and even the eyes. Frowning at the foreign substance in the eyes, Nanyeong slowly wiped away the semen with the back of his hand. Hyunjae was catching his breath, looking down at him.

“…I’ll delete the photo.”

Saying that, Hyunjae turned around.

A moment later, the sound of water started coming from behind the closed bathroom door. Until then, Nanyeong still had Hyunjae’s semen in his mouth, unable to do anything about it.

“Ugh….”

Knees straightened with difficulty, the legs that had been bent the whole time ached. Limping to the sink, Nanyeong turned on the water and rinsed his mouth.

“Ah….”

As soon as the water touched it, the mouth area stung. Touching the painful part with his fingertips, Nanyeong realized that the torn part had lost its scab and was bleeding. Looking down further, he saw that Hyunjae’s saliva mixed with blood had slightly turned the unbuttoned shirt pink.

Spitting out the rinsed water with a “Ptooey,” the white semen swirled with the water and was sucked down the drain. A deep regret washed over him, even though he wasn’t the one who ejaculated.

Suddenly, his reflection appeared in the round part of the faucet. Seeing himself, Nanyeong involuntarily flinched. His hair was a mess, and the bruises under his eyes and on his chin were still there, turning from blue to yellow. Moreover, his eyelids were swollen from being forced to deep throat and crying. He had performed fellatio in such an ugly state, drooling until his shirt was soaked.

Nanyeong let out a silent sigh. He understood Hyunjae’s cold gaze. It was an unattractive face that could make love fade in an instant. Feeling self-loathing and fatigue simultaneously, he turned around.

Looking back, there was the floor with a thin mattress and blanket just a few steps away. The more he looked, the more shabby the place seemed. He didn’t want to lie down on that stiff blanket again, but since there was nowhere else to rest, Nanyeong limped back to the blanket. Avoiding the areas where his saliva or Hyunjae’s semen might have landed, he sat in a relatively clean spot.

A moment later, Hyunjae, who had finished a quick shower, approached. He sat down in front of Nanyeong with his phone in hand, intending to delete a photo as promised.

“I’ll delete this.”

Hyunjae held out the phone screen for Nanyeong to see. Not wanting to see the supposedly lewd photo of himself, Nanyeong averted his gaze. However, Hyunjae persistently held the photo in front of Nanyeong’s face.

Forced to look at the screen, Nanyeong muttered.

“What is this?”

The photo was far from lewd. It was just a picture of him sleeping. Taken in a dark room with the flash on, his face was the only thing illuminated, stark white. It seemed to have been taken in the officetel where Nanyeong used to meet Hyunjae.

“Not this kind of photo, you have others.”

Nanyeong tried to negotiate. Today, he had only served without enjoying it at all. After going through such a harsh ordeal, he wanted to bargain more. However, Hyunjae coldly took back the phone.

“That’s not for you to choose.”

“…….”

Nanyeong had no choice but to say, “Fine,” quietly. The photo wasn’t incriminating, but it was clearly taken by someone very close, likely a lover. The peaceful image of him under the blanket, with a slightly exposed bare shoulder, was unsettling. It was a photo that could raise suspicions about his private life, so it was better to get rid of it.

Hyunjae deleted the photo in front of Nanyeong and then went into the trash folder to show that it was completely deleted.

“That photo is now completely gone from the world. It’s not uploaded to the cloud, and there are no other copies, so you can trust that.”

Nanyeong let out a small sigh. He had no choice but to believe it.

Hyunjae tapped the screen a few times to return to the main photo album. As Nanyeong looked at the screen, something suspicious caught his eye.

“Wait.”

Instead of answering, Hyunjae looked up as if to ask, “What?” Nanyeong’s lips trembled slightly.

“Just now… how many photos are there in total?”

“Oh.”

Hyunjae manipulated the screen again to show the number of photos in the folder containing Nanyeong’s pictures.

“About 500.”

496 photos….

Nanyeong, who had barely maintained his composure until now, felt his blood run cold. Hyunjae had agreed to delete one photo for each act he desired.

That meant this ordeal would have to be repeated about 500 times.

500 times… The sheer number made Nanyeong feel not just overwhelmed, but truly frightened.

“You just need to be with me 500 times.”

“…….”

“It’s a win-win. You want to see me, and I don’t dislike having sex with you.”

“…….”

“I did this favorably for you because I like you a lot. You know that, right?”

Jung Hyunjae was openly declaring that he would torment him. The sense of alienation Nanyeong had felt since meeting Hyunjae’s gaze that morning finally revealed its true form.

He probably wanted revenge. Against the person who had toyed with him.

If his feelings of love were genuine, the intensity of his revenge would be just as strong. Conversely, if his feelings had already cooled, tormenting him would be nothing. Nanyeong realized that in any scenario, the situation was the worst for him.

The person ten years his junior, whose intentions were transparent, suddenly became frightening. Simultaneously, he felt wronged and miserable.

Nanyeong bit his trembling lip. But he couldn’t stop the tears from welling up.

“You said you came because you missed me.”

His voice was trembling pitifully. He knew how ugly it looked to be emotional, so he didn’t want to cry at all. But it was too late to hide it. Nanyeong couldn’t control the emotions that burst out with his tears. He, who hated crying in front of others, was crying for the second time in as many days.

“You said you missed me. But you treat me like this.”

With his hair a mess and his arm in a cast, Nanyeong cried, crumpled among the dirty blankets. Yet, Hyunjae didn’t show any sympathy; instead, he coldly watched Nanyeong. The sight of him, once flustered by his lover’s tears, was gone.

Hyunjae looked at him with the detached gaze of an observer, as if trying to understand his intentions. That cold stare only made the sobbing worse.

“You’re lying about loving me. Do you find me, huh, ridiculous?”

Hyunjae sighed coldly. With a look of disgust, Nanyeong began to wail.

“Huh, huh….”

Eventually, he collapsed onto the blanket, crying. His thin shoulders heaved under the crumpled white shirt, a pitiful sight.