WANL Ch 17

“Welcome. Oh my, how did you hurt your arm?”

A taxi driver who was about to wrap up his shift took on the last customer of the day. The man who got into the taxi was a slender, sharp-looking figure dressed neatly in a suit. His pale face glimpsed under the streetlights was strikingly refined. However, contrary to his fresh appearance, he collapsed into the seat as if all strength had left his body. The taxi driver quickly realized that his customer was drunk.

“Are you heading home now?”

When the driver asked while glancing back through the rearview mirror, the drunken man smiled faintly and responded politely.

“I’m going to see my lover.”

“At this hour? Most people would be asleep by now…”

“That’s why I’m going.”

“Ah, youth. Youth indeed.”

The man’s head drooped forward. Considering how intoxicated he was, wanting to visit a lover seemed like a relatively tame drunken antic. Whether he was truly going to see his lover or if that person would even meet him was unknown, but for the driver, it was enough to get paid for the ride.

As the taxi began moving, the drunken man, no—Nanyeong—swayed from side to side. Even in his heavily inebriated state, he instinctively fumbled around to fasten his seatbelt. But one of his arms was in a cast, and even his functioning arm struggled to obey him due to his drunkenness. It took a full ten minutes after departing for Nanyeong to finally succeed in buckling the belt.

“Sir, we’re here. Time to get out.”

“…”

Nanyeong, with his head drooped down, showed no sign of moving. Clicking his tongue, the driver turned on the hazard lights and got out of the car. He walked to the backseat and shook Nanyeong’s shoulder.

“We’ve arrived. Hey? You need to pay the fare.”

“The fare? Oh… here…”

Nanyeong fumbled through his belongings and pulled out his wallet.

After successfully completing the payment, Nanyeong, blinking slowly, took out a few extra bills from his wallet.

“Thank you for your hard work at this hour.”

“Oh my, you didn’t have to…”

Grinning at the tip, the taxi driver even went so far as to help Nanyeong to a nearby bus stop and sit him down. With a final “Take care,” the driver left.

Before long, Nanyeong was alone on the empty street.

His head bobbing up and down, Nanyeong sat there for a long while. His consciousness flickered on and off like a dying fluorescent light. After dozing off briefly, he opened his eyes wide and stared at the dense row of villas across the road.

“Why am I here…”

Realizing that he had drunkenly come all the way to Hyunjae’s house, Nanyeong was left in a daze. He had no recollection of how he had gotten there.

“Ugh…”

His alcohol-drenched head pounded like it was going to split open. Everything was a mess.

That morning, Nanyeong had learned from a newspaper article that the company was undergoing a restructuring. The media spent the entire day talking about how the succession plan had taken a dramatic turn, interpreting it as a sign that Nanyeong, who had failed to achieve any notable results after taking on significant responsibilities, had finally hit his limit.

The real problem was that his father hadn’t said a single word to him about it before the announcement was made public.

Nanyeong scoffed at himself. Even in such a situation, the fact that he had come to see another man disgusted him. His body was battered, and the fact that he’d drunk himself into a blackout was equally unforgivable.

“Haah…”

Staggering to his feet, Nanyeong slowly started walking. Just one crosswalk stood between him and the cluster of villas where Hyunjae lived. The glow of the 24-hour convenience store sign across the road tempted him.

Honk honk—

“Do you have a death wish?”

A car making an unprotected right turn spotted him too late and yelled angrily. Ignoring it, Nanyeong cut across the flowerbed instead of using the sidewalk, heading toward the convenience store. The car drove off, muttering curses, “Drunk lunatic…”

Ting-a-ling. The small bell jingled as Nanyeong entered. He went straight to the liquor section, picked up a bottle of vodka, and headed to the counter.

“Just this, please.”

The convenience store clerk, who had been looking bored, glanced at the disheveled late-night customer. Unbothered by the scrutiny, Nanyeong exited the store with his purchase. He sat down on a dusty chair outside and began drinking the vodka.

I need to be drunker.

Nanyeong wished he could black out completely. His life was filled with things he was never supposed to do, and he had become skilled at suppressing himself. He rarely expressed his desires or emotions, always wary of how others perceived him. But alcohol made his impulses stronger. When drunk, he found the courage to do the things he wanted.

Nearby, the villa where Hyunjae lived stood in plain sight. As he gazed at the third floor, where Hyunjae’s apartment was, he lit a cigarette.

I want to see you.

Just then, a light turned on in the third-floor window. Nanyeong’s eyes widened slightly. Hyunjae’s shadow appeared at the window. His heart began pounding rapidly.

The window opened, and Hyunjae leaned out, holding his phone to his ear. He seemed to be on a call. Nervously, Nanyeong checked his own phone, fumbling through his pockets, wondering if, in his drunken haze, he might have called Hyunjae. But there were no recent calls to him in the call log.

Leaning casually on the window frame, Hyunjae looked at the night sky as he spoke into the phone. His voice was too soft to make out the words. Unconsciously, Nanyeong found himself moving closer, stopping just beneath the window.

The third floor felt both near and far—close enough to see him but utterly out of reach.

“Yeah… Eunji. No, nothing’s going on.”

The name that came from Hyunjae’s mouth was clearly a woman’s. Without glancing down, Hyunjae continued staring at the moon.

“I usually stay up late. At this time, it’s practically early evening for me.”

He laughed lightly as he spoke. Nanyeong stared up at his smiling face, captivated. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had seen Hyunjae laugh like that.

“Ah!”

Lost in thought as he watched Hyunjae, a sharp pain suddenly jolted Nanyeong’s hand, as if he had been burned. Startled, he shook his hand, and the cigarette, now reduced to a smoldering stub, fell to the ground. The burning tip had touched his skin, leaving it red and blistered. The pain was unbearable.

Noticing a movement below, Hyunjae looked down. Instinctively, Nanyeong ducked into the villa’s entrance.

“No, nothing,” Hyunjae said softly, resuming his call.

Hearing Hyunjae’s gentle voice stirred a reckless determination in Nanyeong. He entered the building and climbed the stairs, his anger inexplicably rising with each step. His heavy footsteps echoed, and one by one, the dim lights on the old stairway flickered on.

When he reached Hyunjae’s door, he knocked forcefully without hesitation. There was no response from inside. He raised his hand to knock again when, suddenly, the door clicked open.

“What is it? At this hour?”

Hyunjae’s face appeared through the slight opening in the door. He frowned immediately upon seeing his unexpected visitor.

“Eunji, I’ll call you back later,” Hyunjae said, still holding his phone.

Without preamble, Nanyeong asked, “Who’s Eunji?”

Hyunjae sighed instead of answering. Trying to push his way inside, Nanyeong was stopped as Hyunjae firmly blocked the gap with his body, preventing entry.

“You reek of alcohol.”

“Yeah, I had some… Don’t try to brush this off just because I’m drunk. Who’s Eunji?”

“A younger friend.”

“That’s a lie.”

As Nanyeong tried once again to step through the open door, he was stopped, Hyunjae’s hand pushing firmly against his chest. The shove wasn’t forceful, but Nanyeong’s drunken state made him stumble significantly, barely managing to avoid an undignified fall. Blinking in disbelief, he stared at Hyunjae, who had just pushed him away.

After a few seconds, Nanyeong shoved his way back through the narrow gap in the door, but this time, entering the apartment wasn’t his goal. He wrapped his arms around Hyunjae’s body, attempting to embrace him like he had done so often in the past. His shaky legs tangled with Hyunjae’s, and his unsteady weight pressed against Hyunjae’s chest. His actions were emboldened by the alcohol coursing through his veins, erasing any sense of shame.

“She’s your girlfriend, isn’t she? You wouldn’t be on the phone with just anyone this late at night….”

As Nanyeong’s lips grazed the edge of Hyunjae’s jaw, Hyunjae’s body went rigid for a moment. But Nanyeong was oblivious. Hyunjae responded calmly, his voice steady.

“You’re here at this hour too, and you’re nobody to me.”

“I’m not nobody to you!”

Nanyeong’s voice cracked with emotion as he demanded an answer. But Hyunjae, his gaze lowered, remained indifferent.

“Why are you here?”

“Because I missed you….”

His reply was honest, yet Hyunjae bit his lip and pushed him away again. Stung by the cold rejection, Nanyeong silently raised a fist and lightly struck Hyunjae’s chest. It was a clumsy punch, clearly from someone who had never been in a fight. Irritated that Hyunjae didn’t so much as flinch, he raised his fist again, but before he could swing, Hyunjae caught it effortlessly.

“…!”

Nanyeong froze, unable to even groan. Unfortunately, it was the hand burned earlier by the cigarette, and Hyunjae’s grip pressed directly onto the tender wound.

“What’s this about?”

The searing pain made Nanyeong’s eyes fill with tears, and all he could do was tremble. Finding his reaction strange, Hyunjae asked again, his tone sharper.

“Stop pulling this nonsense.”

Mouth opening and closing like a fish gasping for air, Nanyeong finally managed to croak out a single word.

“Let… go.”

Hyunjae released his hand with a brusque flick, causing Nanyeong to stumble backward, his hand brushing against the door for support. Though the immediate pressure was gone, his fingers throbbed incessantly, the phantom pain lingering. The quiet of the villa’s entrance hall was punctuated only by the sound of Nanyeong’s labored breathing.

Hyunjae, who had been silently watching him with darkened eyes, finally spoke.

“You’re right. You’re not nobody to me.”

“…”

“Come in. We still have business to finish.”

Hyunjae turned and walked into the apartment, leaving the doorway unguarded. Dumbfounded, Nanyeong stared into the room in disbelief. When the door began to swing shut with a creak, he hurriedly grabbed it to keep it from closing.

As Nanyeong stepped inside the cramped entryway, the musty, stale air of the poorly ventilated apartment enveloped him. He shivered involuntarily but still followed Hyunjae’s retreating figure.

The small room beyond was almost unchanged from before. A cluttered clothes rack, a small desk, and a bedding area all crammed into one space without clear boundaries. The rumpled blankets bore a person-shaped indentation, suggesting Hyunjae had been lying there not long ago.

“…!”

Distracted by the room’s familiar disarray, Nanyeong belatedly noticed Hyunjae pulling off his shirt. With a practiced motion, Hyunjae crossed his arms and tugged the T-shirt over his head, revealing the flexing muscles of his back and shoulders. His shoulder blades moved fluidly under his skin, like wings.

Hyunjae tossed the shirt onto the floor and sat down on the bedding, looking at Nanyeong, who stood awkwardly by the door.

“What are you doing?”

“…?”

“Hurry up and take it off.”

Nanyeong’s ears burned red, but he obeyed, starting with his jacket. He struggled clumsily, his movements hindered by the protective brace covering his wrist. His intoxicated mind had forgotten the obvious—he needed to remove the brace first. Finally, after awkwardly peeling off the brace and jacket, he let them fall to the floor with soft thuds. Then, with painstaking slowness, he began unbuttoning his shirt.

The entire time, Hyunjae sat silently, watching with remarkable patience.

When Nanyeong finally stood half-naked, uncertain and vulnerable, Hyunjae spoke again, his voice low.

“Your pants too.”

“…What about you?”

“You take mine off for me.”

At that, Nanyeong’s face flushed crimson. It had been a long time since he’d heard such a provocative invitation. Even as he questioned whether his drunken state was making him hallucinate, the moment carried a strange sense of déjà vu, like he was reliving a piece of the past.

As if entranced, Nanyeong unbuckled his belt and lowered his pants zipper, feeling Hyunjae’s intense gaze following his every move. Soon, the smooth dress pants fell to the floor, revealing his slender legs. They were long and straight, with barely noticeable curves at the knees and calves.

“The underwear too.”

“…Turn off the light…”

Hyunjae shook his head at Nanyeong’s hesitant request. Seeing Hyunjae’s resolve, Nanyeong had no choice but to hook his fingers into his underwear. Though he felt deeply embarrassed, he also felt a throbbing sensation from within. A slow heat began to rise from deep inside his body.

“Ugh…”

As he tried to remove his underwear while standing, he nearly tripped. Despite this, Nanyeong finally stood naked in front of Hyunjae.

Under the fluorescent light, his body was extremely lean with a very slim waist. Even under the harsh lighting, Nanyeong’s skin had an unrealistically beautiful tone. As Hyunjae admired Nanyeong’s figure, Nanyeong slowly lowered his head, blushing deeply. The throbbing sensation intensified, making him feel even more embarrassed.

Come to think of it, it had been a long time since he had taken a man from behind. Though Hyunjae hadn’t touched him, Nanyeong’s body was already aroused, remembering their countless intimate moments. Hyunjae’s gaze shifted to Nanyeong’s erection, which was now fully aroused and pointing upward. Nanyeong instinctively covered himself.

“Move your hand.”

Though puzzled, Nanyeong couldn’t resist Hyunjae’s insistence and reluctantly moved his hand away.

Nanyeong’s erection was quite large and well-shaped, with an incredibly clean, light pink color, similar to the color of his elbows or nipples.

“Have you ever been inside a woman?”

“No…”

“Liar.”

Hyunjae denied it with a smirk. But what he had just said was true. Though he had tried to have planned intercourse with his ex-wife to get her pregnant, Nanyeong couldn’t get aroused by a woman. He had even masturbated facing away from her to get an erection, hearing her sobs of humiliation. His experiences with women had left him traumatized.

But before Nanyeong could explain, Hyunjae grabbed his chin.

“Come and undress me too.”

Nanyeong approached him as if in a trance. He had only come here on impulse to see Hyunjae, not expecting this. Thinking he was lucky to be drunk, Nanyeong fumbled with the waistband of Hyunjae’s sweatpants.

As he carefully pulled down the pants, Hyunjae lifted his hips to help. Under the black underwear, his erection was already visibly tilted to one side, its thick outline clearly defined. Nanyeong unconsciously licked his lips.

“…A face crazy for a man’s dick.”

Hyunjae’s sarcastic voice brushed past his ears. Nanyeong snapped his head up. Hyunjae gently stroked Nanyeong’s chin with a calm expression, then casually lay back, folding his arms behind his head.

“Get on top.”

Nanyeong hesitated, as he disliked being on top. But Hyunjae showed no sign of getting up.

The throbbing sensation had been intensifying, making his mouth dry. His body was tightening on its own, which was bewildering. Nanyeong kept biting his lip and carefully sat on Hyunjae’s lower abdomen. He could feel the texture of Hyunjae’s pubic hair against his sensitive skin. As his tender flesh touched Hyunjae’s heated erection, it twitched and throbbed.

“Ugh…”

Even the slightest stimulation made his vision spin. Nanyeong supported himself with his uninjured arm on Hyunjae’s chest and moved his hips slightly. As he arched his back more, he could feel Hyunjae’s erection pressing against his entrance. It felt like it could slip inside at any moment.

Nanyeong reached back and grasped Hyunjae’s erection. It was so thick that it barely fit in one hand.

“Mmm…yes…”

Hyunjae’s tip was slightly wet with pre-cum. Nanyeong aligned it with his entrance, his hand trembling with a mix of tension and anticipation. Hyunjae watched him intently with an emotionless gaze.

Just rubbing the tip against his entrance made Nanyeong pant.

“Yes, uh-huh…”

As the pre-cum made his entrance wet and slippery, his insides tightened again on their own. His erection stood fully upright.

“What are you doing alone?”

Hyunjae murmured softly and slightly raised his upper body. It seemed like he was about to kiss him, so Nanyeong unconsciously stared at Hyunjae blankly. However, Hyunjae, with his eyes lowered, firmly grasped Nanyeong’s buttocks with one hand and spread them apart. Suddenly, the exposed entrance felt the cool air.

“Ah….”

At the same time, Hyunjae’s large hand covered Nanyeong’s hand. Aligning the tip precisely with the opened hole, the glans slid in without hesitation, into the loosened interior.

“……!”

Shocked by the sudden entry, Nanyeong stared at Hyunjae with his mouth open. As their eyes met, Hyunjae firmly pressed down on Nanyeong’s shoulder and thrust his hips upward. The ruthless intrusion tore through him, making his vision flicker. In an instant, it reached his sigmoid colon, leaving Nanyeong breathless. The deep penetration was so intense that he could feel Hyunjae’s scrotum against his spread buttocks.

“Huh, ah….”

Sweat dripped from Nanyeong’s face. Still tipsy, his body couldn’t escape. Pinned down by Hyunjae, his body stiffened, and his pulse raced unbelievably fast.

“Breathe.”

“Ha, ha, ha….”

Nanyeong took several deep breaths, trying to get used to the overwhelming sensation. He had wanted this so badly, and it wasn’t his first time, yet it felt unbearably intense. Perhaps it was because it had been so long. Unconsciously, Nanyeong sought Hyunjae’s embrace. But Hyunjae grabbed his hand from around his neck and straightened his waist again.

“Stand up straight. Keep bending over, and you’ll get hurt.”

And as soon as he finished speaking, Hyunjae moved his hips forcefully again. The sound of their sweaty skin slapping together echoed obscenely.

“Ah! Ah… it hurts, too deep… it hurts!”

“Ugh, huh….”

Hyunjae, gritting his teeth, repeated the intense thrusts several times. After just three thrusts, saliva dripped from Nanyeong’s open mouth. It felt like his insides were being pummeled by a fist. If this continued, his insides would be a bruised mess. He finally understood why Hyunjae said he might get hurt if he bent over. The massive cock was dangerously pressing against the walls of his sigmoid colon, feeling like it might tear him apart.

“Huh, it hurts… Hyunjae, Hyunjae. It feels like it’s going to tear… ah!”

Nanyeong’s body began to tremble, feeling like some unknown organ inside him might break. Yet, Hyunjae did not stop his movements.

Eventually, Nanyeong begged with tear-filled eyes, “Stop, please stop.” His pale, thin body shook like a doll, his sweat-soaked skin glistening. Covered in sweat, tears, and bodily fluids, Nanyeong began to plead with Hyunjae.

“Huh, Hyunjae, Hyunjae… uh… huh….”

But even with his face covered in tears and saliva, Hyunjae remained unmoved. Instead, he grabbed Nanyeong’s hair and pulled his head back, urging him to straighten his waist.

“Aah!”

“I told you not to bend over….”

As their eyes met, Nanyeong felt a chilling sensation run down his spine. Hyunjae was taking out his frustration on him.

He felt foolish and miserable for being excited about seeing Hyunjae again and the possibility of having sex with him. In the past, Hyunjae never had sex like this. Even when the sex was rough, Nanyeong could feel Hyunjae’s affection and obsession, making even the lingering pain sweet.

But not now. It felt like Hyunjae was using him solely for sexual release. The rough treatment and brutal thrusts were unlike anything he had experienced before, filling him with sorrow and resentment.

“You said you liked me.”

The moment he said that, he was penetrated so deeply that he feared Hyunjae’s cock might come out of his throat. His entire spine tingled. Hyunjae’s eyes were cold.

“Yes… I like you. That’s why I’m still hard.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

Nanyeong didn’t back down despite the rough sex.

“Men can, huh, do it even without feelings, if they’re aroused. Huuh….”

Even as he spoke, Hyunjae didn’t stop his thrusts. The continuous deep penetration made his body tremble uncontrollably. Fearing he might convulse if thrust into again, Nanyeong desperately reached behind him. He tried to grab and stop Hyunjae’s cock.

“Is that how it was for you?”

But Hyunjae easily brushed his hand away and grabbed Nanyeong’s hips with both hands, seating him firmly on top of him again.

“Ha, ha….”

Panting, Nanyeong looked at Hyunjae with trembling eyes, feeling terrified that he had no intention of stopping.

“So, you enjoyed being fucked by someone who doesn’t care about you, huh?”

“……!”

The deep thrust he had tried to avoid hit exactly the right spot. His insides convulsed uncontrollably, and Nanyeong’s entire body trembled. Clear fluid, not semen, trickled out from his front.

Hyunjae held him firmly to prevent his convulsing body from collapsing and watched Nanyeong endure the long orgasm. He fully enjoyed the intense pressure of Nanyeong’s insides clamping down on his cock. He savored the sight of the usually composed and beautiful Nanyeong being ravaged.

“You’re such a liar. You said to stop, but look at you, feeling it like this…”

Hyunjae’s face was devoid of any smile.

Just as he said, Nanyeong felt an intense pleasure amidst his daze. His parted lips were wet with saliva, and his clear eyes were unfocused. This was more like violence than sex, yet he felt more pleasure than ever before, unable to understand himself.

“Huh, stop… please stop…”

As Hyunjae began to move again, Nanyeong murmured in a voice filled with fear. Nevertheless, Hyunjae’s cock plunged back into him, still throbbing from the orgasm. Nanyeong’s eyes rolled back, revealing the whites of his eyes. Noticing that he was about to pass out, Hyunjae lightly slapped his cheek.

“Huh, ugh… ah… ah…”

Now, he couldn’t even tell what hurt or felt good. His insides were soaked and soft, and every time the hard cock pushed in, his body trembled. When it finally hit the deepest spot and pulled back, his insides felt empty and ached. The feeling of Hyunjae’s scrotum pressed against his buttocks and the sound of their sweaty skin slapping together was unbearably good. Even though the pleasure came from a specific spot, the repeated friction made his entire insides sensitive, turning his whole body into an erogenous zone.

“Huh, ah, ugh… uh…”

As the good spot was repeatedly hit, Nanyeong reached another climax from the back. His body trembled, his head dropped, and his convulsing buttocks rubbed against the cock. The living, pulsating pressure of his insides increased, making Hyunjae gasp. His own climax was approaching.

“Kuh, haa…”

Hyunjae’s ejaculation was long. With each spurt of semen hitting the deepest part of his insides, Nanyeong twitched slightly.

“Ugh…”

The wet, glistening cock slipped out of his soaked insides. Nanyeong shuddered as it scraped his insides one last time.

“Huh, haa, haa…”

As he lay there with his eyes closed, catching his breath, Hyunjae finally laid him down on the bed. The moment his back touched the ground, Nanyeong felt an indescribable sense of relief.

“Ugh…”

His tense waist began to ache belatedly. Too exhausted to even open his eyelids, he lay there as Hyunjae grabbed both his ankles and spread them apart. Nanyeong opened his eyes slightly, puzzled. Hyunjae sat between his widely spread legs, staring at something.

“What…”

At that moment, a clump of white semen gushed out from Nanyeong’s tightly closed hole. However, Nanyeong wasn’t fully aware of his condition. The burning sensation of his swollen skin bothered him more.

“You’re very swollen.”

“…What?”

Nanyeong asked wearily. Hyunjae placed his hand on Nanyeong’s lower abdomen and pressed down firmly.

“What are you doing…”

Nanyeong furrowed his brow at the pressure on his flat stomach.

“You’re expelling my semen here.”

Only then did Nanyeong realize what Hyunjae was looking at, his face turning bright red as he tried to lift his head. But the pain in his waist forced him to lie back down immediately.

“Don’t let it out.”

“Don’t look.”

He tried to close his legs, but Hyunjae firmly held his knees apart. Nanyeong covered his eyes with his arm.

“Hold it in,” Hyunjae said, trying to push the clumps of semen back into Nanyeong’s hole. But as soon as he inserted his finger and created a small opening, more semen gushed out. Hyunjae persistently gathered it and pushed it back into Nanyeong. The softly loosened hole easily accommodated Hyunjae’s finger. Nanyeong let out a faint moan as Hyunjae’s finger stirred his swollen insides.

“While you’re holding it in, you won’t be able to see other men…”

“What nonsense. I’m not that kind of person.”

Nanyeong protested, and Hyunjae smirked, lifting one corner of his mouth. He clearly didn’t believe him.

“Don’t you know me at all? You’re the only one I’ve ever asked to sleep with…”

“Just look at how you spread your legs for someone you don’t truly love. That says enough.”

Nanyeong glared at Hyunjae, his mouth tightly shut. A crushing sensation washed over him, feeling like his heart was being squeezed and his chest was tightening.

“Do whatever you want to appear pure.”

“I just…

Nanyeong sighed.

“I just came because I wanted to see you. Why do I have to go through this?”

Hyunjae replied with a cold, emotionless face, devoid even of anger.

“I don’t know if you came to see my face or Jihoon’s.”

With those final words, Hyunjae left the room. Even as Hyunjae’s firm steps passed by his head, Nanyeong couldn’t blink.

A moment later, he heard the sound of water.

Nanyeong stared up at the bright fluorescent light on the ceiling. The old, yellowed light cover was speckled with dead insects. He felt foolish for being happy and excited that Hyunjae had let him in and allowed him to touch him. The reality of being treated like trash in this shabby room hit him hard.

I shouldn’t have come.

It seemed like he was finally sobering up. His rational mind was telling him that his impulsive actions had been a mistake.

He regretted coming to see Hyunjae on a drunken impulse. Covering his eyes with his arm, he felt his nose stuff up and his eyes well with tears, but he refused to let any sobs escape.

He hadn’t realized how cruel sex without love could be. This feeling overlapped with how he felt when he was beaten by Jihoon. He had been too sheltered to know how cruel people who hated him could be. Nanyeong lamented his uneventful life and his lack of imagination.

It had been a long, terrible day. From start to finish, everything had been a mess.

At the end of the worst day, Nanyeong was utterly exhausted. He fell asleep as if passing out.

In his sleep, Nanyeong felt a hand gently stroking his face.

The fingers carefully brushed the hair near his forehead, tracing the line of his eyebrows, then his eyelids, and the area under his eyes. They tickled his cheeks, which were gaunt and dry. The sensation of the dry fingertips was soothing, and Nanyeong felt his tension melting away even in his sleep.

When the gentle touch withdrew, he felt a pang of longing.

Then, something incredibly soft touched his lips. It was a warm, tender feeling. The lips brushed against his, applying slight pressure. The cute and careful kiss made him unconsciously smile.

Waking up from the pleasant dream, he faced harsh reality. The room was dim in the pre-dawn light, and the clothes hanging on the rack looked like ghostly shapes. Hyunjae was asleep beside him, turned away.

Nanyeong sighed internally.

Ah, it was just a dream.

He must have fallen asleep without realizing it. He should have gotten up and left right away, but instead, he had fallen asleep. He felt pathetic.

“…Ugh…”

As he tried to get up, his hips ached from the countless impacts against Hyunjae’s hard body the night before. Trying not to wake Hyunjae, Nanyeong quietly gathered his clothes and put them on. His discarded clothes were crumpled in the corner of the room. He hated putting on the wrinkled clothes, but he had no choice.

After carefully dressing and putting on his cast protector, Nanyeong stood unsteadily at the front door. He was anxious about waking Hyunjae until the very end. His instincts screamed at him to escape quickly. He was afraid of facing Hyunjae if he woke up.

With trembling hands, he carefully pushed the front door open, wincing at the loud creaking sound. Glancing back one last time, Nanyeong quickly left the house.

As he descended the stairs, Nanyeong called his secretary.

“Secretary Jung… Come pick me up.”

The secretary, sounding unmistakably drowsy, immediately responded in agreement. After ending the call, Nanyeong leaned against the building wall. The vodka he’d left unfinished at the convenience store’s outdoor table the previous night was still there. As the fresh air filled his lungs, the absurdity of his behavior from the night before began to dawn on him.

How long had he waited? Soon, a familiar, heavy-looking car came into view, maneuvering through the narrow alley.

“Executive Director, please get in.”

The arriving secretary refrained from asking any questions and ushered Nanyeong into the car. Despite his disheveled appearance, the secretary pretended not to notice, which put Nanyeong at ease. Perhaps the secretary misunderstood his state as stress from the organizational restructuring announced yesterday. That would certainly make more sense than the truth—that he’d gotten drunk in a desperate bid for courage to visit a former lover. Who could understand such a thing?

“Let’s go.”

“…Yes, Executive Director.”

In the short time it took to board the car, Nanyeong had grown exhausted and soon nodded off. A touch on his shoulder woke him, though he wasn’t immediately alert.

“Please rest well. You seem to need it.”

Still unsteady as he left the parking lot, Nanyeong dismissed the secretary and sat on a bench in his garden instead of going inside.

He considered how pathetic he must look. His clothes were wrinkled, his hair a mess. And worse yet, he could feel traces of semen occasionally leaking from his rear. Each time he clenched in embarrassment, trying to stop it, but the warm sensation persisted, soaking him further. The heated fluid added to his discomfort.

Feeling grimy, he reflexively reached for a cigarette. Thinking he’d smoke just one, he placed it between his lips, but something on his hand caught his eye.

He stared at his index finger. There was an unfamiliar bandage wrapped around it. His brows furrowed. Did I do this? Did I buy it at the convenience store, or did I ask Hyunjae to do it? He couldn’t recall anything clearly, possibly due to the blackout from his drunken state. No matter how hard he tried, the memory wouldn’t surface, so he gave up and stood.

As he crossed the garden toward his house, his reflection in the pool’s surface caught his attention.

“Ha…”

A sigh escaped involuntarily. He was utterly pathetic. Thinking about how he barged into Hyunjae’s home in that state made him burn with shame from head to toe. His mind replayed Hyunjae’s scathing words during their encounter, every one of them seared into his memory like daggers.

You, who took money to sell yourself like a whore. What makes your feelings so valuable that you think you can humiliate someone like this? I don’t want to see you again.

Nanyeong clenched his trembling fists.

Sniff…

Quickly wiping away his tears, he entered his home.

Soaking in a hot bath, he resolved to stay away from alcohol for a while. He also vowed to maintain distance from Jung Hyunjae. He repeated these promises to himself, over and over.

But less than two weeks later, Nanyeong broke his resolve and contacted Hyunjae first.

Ꮺ

In the dimly lit room, faintly illuminated by the light of a convenience store sign outside, Hyunjae silently watched the sleeping Nanyeong.

Exhausted from their rough and unrelenting intimacy, Nanyeong had passed out. With a cold expression, Hyunjae carefully observed his features.

Those elegantly curved eyes looked almost as if they were smiling faintly when closed. Nanyeong used to wield his beauty to captivate, but now, those eyes only glared at Hyunjae, brimming with disdain. Especially when begging for love—recently, Hyunjae had seen only anger, contempt, curses, and hatred on that face. It had been so long since he’d seen such a relaxed expression that he couldn’t look away.

Hyunjae’s gaze wandered along Nanyeong’s graceful neckline and shoulders, then down to the yellowish bruises still mottling his body. Though they were nearly faded now, the darker bruises they had once been must have been far worse. Hyunjae shifted slightly, examining the marks to deduce the nature and intensity of the violence. Most of the bruising centered on his face and torso—it seemed someone had beaten him as he lay crumpled. Hyunjae’s expression darkened.

Then, his eyes stopped on something new—a fresh wound among the older injuries.

“…”

Hyunjae lifted Nanyeong’s hand and examined it carefully. A small blister had formed on his index finger. He recalled how Nanyeong had flinched earlier when Hyunjae grabbed his hand near the front door.

Though tiny, the blister was taut, ready to burst at any moment. Hyunjae found a needle among the dusty household items, sterilized its tip over the gas flame, and carefully pricked the blister. A tiny drop of clear fluid seeped out.

“Hmm…”

Nanyeong stirred and let out a faint sound in his sleep. Hyunjae wiped the liquid with a tissue and applied ointment before covering the wound with a fresh bandage.

Where does he keep getting himself hurt?

Hyunjae let out a heavy, silent sigh. Nanyeong never shared the countless incidents and accidents he experienced. To him, hiding those seemed like a way to preserve his pride. The conflicting emotions of wanting someone he had loved deeply to stay unharmed and resenting the fact that Nanyeong shared nothing with him churned endlessly within him.

Among these, the emotion that gripped Hyunjae most intensely was resentment.

“When you drunkenly stumble in and say, ‘I came because I missed you,’ my heart inevitably races.”

The realization that even in the middle of the night, Nanyeong came looking for him filled his chest momentarily—before the memory of why he sought him in the first place would seep in, leaving his heart cold. And yet, finding himself swayed regardless made him feel foolish and despairing.

This was already the second time Nanyeong had impulsively appeared like this. Without notice, he came at his own convenience, disrupting Hyunjae’s peace and demanding sex. The sight of his feverish face, filled with the expectation of pleasure, turned Hyunjae’s stomach.

He had not anticipated this. He didn’t realize it would become harder and harder with each meeting.

He thought he’d grown desensitized to being treated as a mere sex toy by Nanyeong, that he could withstand it. He had long since resigned himself to having no expectations for this man. When Nanyeong caved to the crude blackmail involving photos, Hyunjae felt relief, foolishly hoping that perhaps someday he could earn his love.

But meeting him again made it clear. To Nanyeong, Hyunjae would always be nothing more than a vile blackmailer.

And perhaps that was why every time he faced Hyunjae, Nanyeong openly displayed his disgust for dealing with someone he considered beneath him. Gone was the indulgence of a benefactor lavishing gifts on a young lover. Now, he no longer hid his disdain for their impoverished reality. Pretending to have power didn’t change the real dynamic—so long as Hyunjae desired him, he would always remain powerless.

Hyunjae knew Nanyeong would likely prefer someone clever and detached, who would accept money and move on without clinging. If Nanyeong ever replaced him with another substitute and left without warning, could he withstand that?

Without the photos, there was no way to keep Nanyeong bound to him.

Would he be able to win Nanyeong’s love within the remaining 495 pictures, or would he lose his sanity first?

Was there even a chance that Nanyeong might ever open his heart?

In the past, Nanyeong had freely spent money on Hyunjae but had never let him into his world. Perhaps this was all Hyunjae would ever be allowed—to fulfill his nighttime desires in secret.

The reason was likely simple: “We’re not in the same league.”

How could someone like Nanyeong genuinely love a man ten years younger, someone he once used as a mere plaything? Wealthy men like him had lives to enjoy, opportunities to remarry someone more “suitable” whenever they wished. Nanyeong was still young enough to have children if he wanted.

Imagining such scenarios tore Hyunjae’s heart into shreds.

He resented the one he should have only loved tenderly.

Unable to bear the contempt in Nanyeong’s gaze, he lashed out through rough, angry sex.

Then he would regret it again and again.

Consumed by self-loathing, Hyunjae pressed a kiss to Nanyeong’s face. Asleep, Nanyeong unknowingly received the tender kiss. Tears spilled silently down Hyunjae’s cheeks. Before they could reach his lips, he turned his face away. Then, lying beside Nanyeong, he wept softly, overwhelmed by the unbearable weight of love and hatred for the 21-year-old man.

Eventually, Hyunjae cried himself to sleep.

When he woke up, the space next to him was empty.

The sunlight seeping into the room illuminated the solitary Hyunjae. As soon as he realized he was alone, an intense wave of emptiness and helplessness washed over him.

“He didn’t even ask me to delete the pictures before leaving.”

A dry laugh escaped his parched lips. Hyunjae thought to himself that this situation perfectly encapsulated his plight. No matter how much he blackmailed or cornered Nanyeong, their relationship ceased to exist the moment Nanyeong decided to walk away. He could never truly harm or trap him. It was like wielding a blade made of cotton.

And the moment Nanyeong realized this, he would abandon Hyunjae once more.

Ꮺ

Every time Nanyeong visited and left, Hyunjae’s life would quietly crumble. Sitting in the study with a pen in hand, he found it impossible to focus on his studies. Even in conversations with others, he frequently lost track of the flow. He even dreamed of his past self, endlessly begging for love in his nightmares.

Work was the only thing that offered a semblance of normalcy. Especially repetitive tasks that required no thought.

One by one, macarons in pink, sky blue, yellow, and cream were neatly placed in their box. Hyunjae’s large hands, now adept, carefully handled the fragile treats without crushing them. After double-checking the order, he placed a thin parchment and a card with storage instructions on top. Finally, he tied the box with a ribbon, following what he had been taught. Hyunjae, whose hands weren’t entirely unskilled, managed to create ribbons that looked decent enough.

Hyunjae briefly stared at the ribbon he had tied to his satisfaction.

He had started working part-time at a macaron shop located in the heart of a villa neighborhood about a month ago. It was situated at the corner of a narrow alley, surrounded by red-brick houses and newly built villas. It was very close to his home, but he had never visited before, so he didn’t even know a shop like this existed.

Once he started paying attention, he noticed many unique shops in every alley that he had never noticed before.

Hyunjae didn’t understand why small, distinctive shops were opening in areas slated for redevelopment, in narrow hills where parking wasn’t even possible. He also couldn’t quite understand why people felt nostalgia for the old alleyways of Seoul.

This shop was one of those places. After seeing a flyer looking for someone to handle packaging for delivery, Hyunjae immediately knocked on the shop’s door. The owner, who had been struggling to find anyone due to the awkward timing, welcomed Hyunjae with open arms.

“Are you just going to do packaging? Aren’t you looking for other part-time work? We’re also hiring for a position at the shop.”

The owner, seeing Hyunjae’s good looks, was tempted. Having a good-looking part-timer at the shop would undoubtedly make it a hot spot. However, Hyunjae calmly refused. From experience, he knew that working in customer service would inevitably involve getting tangled up with women, so he preferred not to meet anyone at all.

So, from 2 PM to 6 PM, Hyunjae worked in the corner of the shop’s kitchen. It was a great way to clear his mind by doing simple tasks during times when studying was hard to focus on. The sweet smell of sugar as he repeated the packaging tasks was also a pleasant bonus.

“Oppa, you look kind of out of it today.”

“Huh?”

A lively voice echoed from the kitchen. Hyunjae looked up and stared blankly at the person who had just entered. It was Eunji, the shop owner’s niece. As soon as their eyes met, she burst into laughter.

“Look at your face, you look like a total fool.”

“Ah, sorry… What did you say? I didn’t hear.”

She shook her head a couple of times.

“I didn’t say anything. It’s just funny watching you.”

The young girl, with a bright, innocent face, stood next to Hyunjae. The small kitchen now felt cramped with her presence.

“Are you here to help?”

Hyunjae asked Eunji, who was looking over his shoulder at the packaging work. He was silently implying that if she wasn’t here to help, she should leave. However, Eunji put on gloves.

“Of course. Hehe, Oppa, you’re still only this far along? If I’m not here, you’ll be in big trouble.”

Hyunjae just laughed at her exaggerated reaction.

“Did you not sleep last night?”

“How did you know?”

Her certainty made Hyunjae ask curiously.

“Your eyes are red. They’re bloodshot. Look… Oh my gosh, I knew it. A blood vessel has burst.”

Eunji came closer and clicked her tongue as she looked at Hyunjae’s eyes. When he asked where, she raised her hand and pointed to his eye. As soon as their eyes met at such a close distance, Eunji suddenly went silent and pulled back. Hyunjae rubbed where she had pointed.

“…Don’t touch it. It’s bad for your eyes.”

“Okay.”

When Hyunjae lowered his hand, Eunji smiled.

“Oppa, are you the type who listens well?”

“Well…”

“Have you never rebelled against your teacher? Do you always listen to your mom?”

Hyunjae briefly pulled up the corners of his mouth, silent. The word “mom” still lingered in his heart like a knot. Unknowingly, he wondered if he had been a good son to his late mother, even though it was a question thrown at him by someone with no malice.

“Oppa?”

Realizing the silence had stretched on too long, Hyunjae found a suitable answer and spoke.

“…I wasn’t someone who got scolded often.”

“I knew it. My ideal type is a man with no ego.”

“…….”

Hyunjae naturally turned to clear an empty plate, pretending not to hear her follow-up. The best way to handle difficult remarks was to let them slide.

In fact, Hyunjae had been aware of Eunji’s subtle flirtation for a while now. The shop owner had complained that his niece, who wouldn’t even budge for part-time pay, had been coming and going constantly because of Hyunjae. Thanks to that, Hyunjae understood that Eunji had some romantic interest in him.