WANL Ch 22

At those words, Hyunjae froze like a stone. Forgetting the sharp retorts he’d been giving, he grabbed Nanyeong’s shoulder, turning him over as if hypnotized.

The face that turned to meet him was different from what he had expected. It wasn’t playful or teasing. It was a blank expression tinged with weariness, catching Hyunjae off guard. He spoke slowly.

“You don’t get to decide whether you stay or go. We’re in a deal, aren’t we? Did you forget how many hundreds of photos are still left?”

“I haven’t forgotten.”

Even with his slurred speech, Nanyeong’s words were clear.

“But you’re getting tired of me, too.”

“…”

“How about it? A Nanyeong who doesn’t work, who zones out every day and just begs for sex—take away my family’s wealth, and I’m nothing special, right?”

Nanyeong understood his own position all too well. Hyunjae stared at him silently, his face unreadable. He wanted to say he wasn’t tired of him, only of this pitiful situation.

“I mean it. You’re only twenty-one. Don’t tie yourself to a dirty relationship like this…”

The detached tone in his voice sparked rejection in Hyunjae. His trembling fist grabbed Nanyeong by the collar.

“You’re the one who dragged someone else into this dirty relationship. How dare you say something like that?”

“…”

“Don’t even think about running away with some pathetic excuse. Take responsibility until the end.”

“And where exactly is the end?”

Nanyeong’s indifferent question made Hyunjae’s throat tighten. He didn’t know.

He didn’t know what to do. Everything he had done to keep Nanyeong close was destroying both of them. Yet even knowing they were heading for the worst, he couldn’t let him go. Even if it led to deeper regret, even if their relationship broke beyond repair, he couldn’t let him go…

Then it happened. Nanyeong’s lips moved slightly.

“Hyunjae, you might as well…”

“…”

“Sell the photos to Jihoon?”

“What?”

Hyunjae’s vision darkened at the unexpected words.

“You don’t want my money, right? Then… you could just take it from Jihoon and be done with it.”

At that moment, Hyunjae couldn’t contain his erupting emotions.

“Don’t you dare say that guy’s name in front of me!”

His voice roared, loud enough to reverberate through the room. But the anger wouldn’t dissipate.

“How can you say that? How can you even think of…!”

His hand, still clutching Nanyeong’s collar, trembled violently. The thought of those obscene pictures being seen, even imagined, was unbearable. That he could dismiss it so carelessly, even with someone he once claimed to love… His desperate indifference blackened Hyunjae’s vision.

“Hyunjae…”

Nanyeong, slightly startled, stared at him intently. Unable to endure the gaze, Hyunjae released him as if throwing him aside and turned away. He couldn’t calm his emotions while looking at him.

But in this cramped apartment, there was no way to escape Nanyeong’s presence. Finally, Hyunjae decided to leave instead. Hastily shoving his feet into his shoes, he stormed out of the alcohol-scented apartment as if trying to shake off the oppressive air.

“Gasp… gasp…”

By the time he came to his senses, he realized he was running hard enough to feel like his lungs might burst. Tears he hadn’t even noticed were flowing had grown cold in the chilly wind. The look on Nanyeong’s face as he calmly described how to end it kept playing over and over in his mind.

Perhaps he was nothing more than an extra caught between two men who were a better match for each other. No matter how desperate he felt, to Nanyeong, he was ultimately just a poor blackmailer—a petty criminal who hoarded incriminating photos, driven by greed and lust for violent sex, someone who shouldn’t have gotten tangled up in this mess.

The cold wind clawed at his cheeks, and the deep breaths stabbed his lungs. No matter how far he ran, the fog clouding his mind refused to clear. Hyunjae gazed up at the night sky, his face blank. The sky above the tightly packed villas was crisscrossed with messy power lines.

Take responsibility until the end.

And where is the end?

Hyunjae knew. The end would be when Nanyeong truly loved him in return.

But the “end” Nanyeong was talking about was throwing him away, even if it meant facing scandal. It felt like a tug-of-war with a taut, almost unbearable pull. If the other side let go, it would collapse everything, including himself.

There was a time when he thought he was taming Nanyeong. But now, it was unclear whether he was taming a broken man or breaking him further.

“Uh… huuuu…”

Hyunjae finally burst into tears again. Wandering aimlessly with slow steps, his cheeks damp with tears, he couldn’t summon the courage to go back home. The end he had tried so hard to postpone felt terrifyingly close.

Unable to return home, Hyunjae eventually called Seongwoo again.

“…Hyung, please fill me up.”

Ꮺ

Hyunjae returned home only after four days.

Thankfully, Seongwoo, who understood the situation, didn’t say much and let Hyunjae stay at his place. Seeing Hyunjae’s sunken eyes and his hollow demeanor, Seongwoo refrained from nagging, even though he likely knew the cause.

While staying at Seongwoo’s place, Hyunjae drank every night. The routines he had clung to even when Nanyeong had upended his life fell apart. He didn’t go to the study room, barely managed to make it to his part-time job, and offered no explanation when Eunji assumed he was stressed about upcoming exams. He merely forced himself to keep a neutral expression.

It was sunset when Hyunjae finally returned home. As he stepped into the villa’s entrance with his hood pulled up, he encountered a stranger. The man, standing on the stairs, straightened up as Hyunjae approached.

The man blocked his way. As Hyunjae silently moved to pass through the narrow space, a hesitant voice stopped him.

“Excuse me…”

Hyunjae halted his steps.

The man in a suit exuded an air of sternness, his large build rivaling Hyunjae’s.

“…”

After staring at him for a moment with dark eyes, Hyunjae realized the man was Nanyeong’s secretary, someone he’d seen a few times before. It occurred to him that this man might have been waiting for him.

“What is it?”

“Please stop the executive from drinking so much.”

Hyunjae let out a frustrated sigh at the unexpected request.

“Tell him that yourself.”

“…”

The secretary simply bowed his head without saying more. As Hyunjae turned to resume climbing the stairs, he added one more remark.

“Instead of telling me, maybe you should stop delivering him alcohol in the first place?”

After all, this man was the one who brought him drinks and medication when asked. How could he ask Hyunjae for help when he was just following orders? Even the secretary couldn’t raise his head, seemingly agreeing with Hyunjae’s point.

“You’re right. But maybe he’d listen to you.”

Hyunjae clicked his tongue.

“He doesn’t listen to anyone. You know that better than anyone.”

With that, Hyunjae climbed the stairs again.

Click.

The moment he opened the door to the apartment, several whiskey bottles scattered on the floor came into view.

“You’re back?”

Hyunjae slowly lifted his head. Nanyeong was still sprawled against the wall, as disheveled as ever. But now, bathed in the warm orange glow of the setting sun, he was faintly smiling.

Considering how tense things had been right before Hyunjae had stormed out of the house, he never expected to be greeted with a smile upon his return. Feeling oddly unsettled, Hyunjae stood still, gazing at Nanyeong with a hardened expression.

The room was filled with the resonant sound of music. The sight of Nanyeong, leaning slightly and draped in sunlight, left a strangely lasting impression.

“What’s that?”

Hyunjae asked as he sat down across from Nanyeong. A small speaker rested on the folding table they used as a dining table. It was probably the only thing in the house capable of serving that purpose, given the lack of furniture.

“It’s the smallest thing I own. There’s only so much of what I want that I can bring into this place.”

“Did your secretary bring it?”

“Yeah.”

Nanyeong nodded casually in response.

The speaker on the table didn’t match the shabby surroundings of the rest of the apartment. Its polished wooden exterior exuded luxury, and the golden accents might actually have been real gold. Its sound quality was impeccable, even to Hyunjae, who was clueless about such things. The depth of the bass was on an entirely different level.

“Did the secretary bring the alcohol too?”

“Yeah…”

Of course. Hyunjae sighed silently. That secretary, who never said a word of reproach to his boss for staying in Hyunjae’s run-down apartment—a place smaller than the bathroom in his mansion—also had no hesitation in delivering alcohol.

People who obeyed Nanyeong so diligently never tried to rein him in. Perhaps it had always been this way for him. The thought left Hyunjae with an inexplicable sense of discomfort.

When they used to meet at Nanyeong’s penthouse, he often brewed tea. Hyunjae vividly remembered the elegance of his hands as he held a tea bowl.

“Drink tea instead of alcohol.”

The words slipped out. Nanyeong, who had just reached for a bottle, shifted his hazy gaze toward Hyunjae.

“You like tea. It suited you.”

“What do you mean?”

“Your fingers, holding the teacup—they were long and white. It looked good.”

At that, Nanyeong glanced at his hand silently before letting out a small laugh.

“That’s something I only do to impress men.”

“How many others have you tried to charm, then?”

“I’m joking. My father likes it.”

It took Hyunjae a moment to guess that “father” meant the chairman. The layered meaning of his words stirred something in Hyunjae’s chest, though he kept it to himself.

“…”

Hyunjae picked up one of the whiskey bottles scattered on the floor and stared at it. The names on the labels varied, but they were all whiskey.

…So he likes whiskey.

Hyunjae leaned against the opposite wall, sitting quietly. The song playing in the background was familiar, though he couldn’t recall its name. The lyrics started with “Summertime,” so it was probably titled “Summertime” as well.

As the sunlight faded and darkness began to envelop the room, the dim light painted shadows over Nanyeong’s face. His slightly intoxicated state, the tilt of his head, and the exposed line of his throat—all of it imprinted deeply in Hyunjae’s mind. The small, cramped room felt utterly transformed by the pop song Nanyeong had chosen.

“Hyunjae, you like me.”

Nanyeong’s raspy voice broke the silence.

“Yes, I like you, hyung.”

Hyunjae’s mechanical response made Nanyeong smile bitterly.

“That’s not what it means to like someone.”

“Because I haven’t done it for fifteen years like someone else?”

“No. What I mean is, the feeling of liking someone shouldn’t be mixed with things like hatred.”

“Stop lecturing me.”

Nanyeong didn’t argue. Instead, he lowered his head. His neck, tilted at an angle, revealed sharp bones protruding from his frame. Not just his neck—the delicate clavicles, the thin wrists peeking out from his sleeves…

When had he gotten so thin?

Dressed in a loose-collared T-shirt instead of a tailored suit, he looked unimpressive in the dim light. The person Hyunjae remembered had been far more elegant than this.

“If I leave, you’ll never come looking for me first. You won’t even call…”

“…”

“I get it. Is that how people become when they’re heartbroken? I wonder if I was the same… I don’t remember.”

Hyunjae stared at him blankly.

For reasons he didn’t fully understand, or perhaps for no reason at all, Hyunjae admitted it. He liked that Nanyeong was staying here, in this place that didn’t suit him at all. Even if he wasn’t as elegant and perfect as the man Hyunjae once worshipped, even if he was falling apart—it was fine.

Maybe I’m no different from those who refuse to control him.

A man who drowned himself in alcohol or drugs every night and demanded sex couldn’t be considered normal. A man who abandoned his job and all his social connections to hide away in the home of a former lover wasn’t normal either.

And yet, Hyunjae let him be. He needed the drunken, desperate Nanyeong who clung to him, so he allowed it.

This time, when Nanyeong abandoned his social standing and sophistication to linger here, it wouldn’t last forever. There was no denying a selfish desire to savor this bittersweet indulgence for as long as it was permitted.

Once, what had seemed like an impossible dream now sat quietly before him, as if willingly becoming the mistress of a pauper.

Liar.

The word, spoken by Nanyeong in a tone of disdain, echoed in Hyunjae’s ears. He couldn’t deny it.

At least Nanyeong, no matter how incomprehensible or irrational his actions, never lied. But what about himself? Hyunjae, full of contradictions, didn’t know how he wanted to treat Nanyeong and had told countless lies. The comparison left him ashamed.

So Hyunjae resolved not to tell Nanyeong to leave anymore—not when he didn’t truly want him to go. He wouldn’t sell meaningless photos or criticize him for being different.

Even if he withered beside me, it’s fine. Just stay here.

“You’re silently asking for it so gloomily,” Hyunjae finally spoke. “Buy me lunch.”

“…”

Nanyeong, who had been sitting with his eyes closed, cracked them open slightly, his gaze doubtful as if he wasn’t sure he’d heard correctly. Hyunjae repeated himself.

“Tomorrow, or whenever. Just buy me lunch.”

“…”

“Remember what you said the first day you came here? You promised to buy me lunch. So, buy it for me.”

At that, a slow smile spread across Nanyeong’s face. Hyunjae stared at him for a long time as he closed his eyes again, still smiling.

Ꮺ

For the first time in a while, Nanyeong put on a shirt. When his T-shirt fell to the floor, his protruding shoulder blades and gaunt back were revealed. Sitting on the floor, Hyunjae looked up at him as he buttoned up his shirt.

“Are you almost done?”

It was taking an oddly long time for him to button it. Hyunjae, having just come home from a study room to pick him up, hadn’t even set down his bag. Growing impatient, he finally stood up.

“Let me see.”

As he approached, he saw that Nanyeong’s hands were trembling, fumbling with the buttons repeatedly.

“…”

Hyunjae was a little surprised but said nothing. Silently, he began fastening Nanyeong’s buttons one by one, his large, sturdy hands moving with surprising precision and care.

“Thanks.”

Nanyeong’s response was simple. Hyunjae didn’t ask why his hands were trembling, and Nanyeong offered no explanation. A weight settled heavily in Hyunjae’s chest, the suspicion that Nanyeong might already be in a serious state of addiction gnawing at him. Still, he feigned ignorance and turned away.

Fully dressed, Nanyeong walked to the kitchen sink and turned on the tap. He wet his hands and slicked back his hair. The simple act exposed his forehead, transforming his appearance into something sharp and composed.

“All set. Let’s go.”

Nanyeong slipped his feet into a pair of shoes and, for the first time in ages, stepped out the door.

The two of them were headed to a place near Nanyeong’s alma mater. Unable to come up with a restaurant that might satisfy his standards, Hyunjae had been at a loss until Nanyeong himself made the suggestion. Curious about his university days, Hyunjae had agreed.

“We’re taking the bus.”

“Alright.”

“Is there a restaurant nearby that you used to visit often?”

“There are a few, but I’m not sure if they’re still around. It’s been a long time…”

As soon as they boarded the rickety bus, Nanyeong instinctively found an empty seat by the window and sat down. To Hyunjae, who had assumed that someone like Nanyeong—a scion of a wealthy family—wouldn’t even know how to ride a bus, it was an unexpected sight.

The quiet ride to their destination, accompanied by the rhythmic swaying of the bus, was more peaceful than Hyunjae had anticipated. Despite the chilly autumn air outside, Nanyeong left the window open, enjoying the breeze. Hyunjae let him do as he pleased.

“Wow… nothing’s changed at all.”

When they arrived at their destination, Nanyeong’s face was lit with awe. According to him, while the signs in the busy streets outside the campus had changed significantly, the campus itself looked much the same. The historic buildings covered in dried vines and the plaza where students gathered in groups remained untouched by time.

As Hyunjae watched Nanyeong’s face, he felt his heart race. It had been so long since he’d seen him look so natural and relaxed. What thrilled him the most was the sense that they were doing something akin to a date.

“I wanted to attend this school.”

“Then you’d better ace your college entrance exams. The acceptance rate is pretty high.”

“I’m not expecting much this year anyway. I’ll try harder next year…”

Before Hyunjae could finish speaking, Nanyeong laughed softly. Hyunjae instinctively glanced at him, wondering if his words had sounded like an excuse for his distracted life. In truth, his lifestyle hardly befitted a serious student, so he couldn’t argue otherwise.

Before lunch, Nanyeong led Hyunjae on a tour of the campus, showing him every corner. As Hyunjae followed him around, he found himself imagining what Nanyeong might have been like as a university student. A wistful longing for a past he could never experience overtook him.

Even during his unblemished university years, Nanyeong had likely been in unrequited love. At least, from what Hyunjae had gathered, Jihoon, fortunately, wasn’t an alumnus of this school. The thought that Jihoon wouldn’t have walked these grounds with Nanyeong offered some comfort.

“There are several dining options on campus, but this one’s probably the best. It’s the faculty dining hall—pricier but with better-quality meals.”

“Did you eat here often?”

“All the time.”

“Can we try it?”

“It’s not exactly worth going out of your way for, but sure, if you want.”

Hyunjae nodded, and despite calling it an odd preference, Nanyeong led him inside. He purchased meal tickets with practiced ease, chose a menu for the day, and placed his order. Hyunjae followed suit, selecting the same dishes. Soon, their trays were filled—Hyunjae’s with a bubbling stew and Nanyeong’s with a hamburger steak.

The two sat across from each other by the window to eat. The dining hall was relatively quiet, as they had missed the busiest hours. At one point, a professor who recognized Nanyeong approached them, greeting him warmly.

“What brings you here?”

“Ah, Professor…”

Hyunjae watched as Nanyeong greeted the professor with impeccable politeness, behaving like an earnest student. The professor, shaking Nanyeong’s hands warmly, looked genuinely pleased. While it was true that Nanyeong, as a scion of one of the most prominent families, would naturally draw attention, it seemed his affection stemmed from something more. Nanyeong must have been a beloved student during his university days.

“You need to put on some weight. You’re even thinner than when you were a student.”

“Thank you for your concern.”

“Things must be tough for you these days. Remember, there’s more to life than work. If you have academic aspirations…”

The professor’s concern puzzled Hyunjae, who doubted he had any idea what kind of life Nanyeong was leading. After a brief exchange, the professor gave Nanyeong’s shoulder a reassuring pat and left.

“Was he someone you knew well?”

“He was my academic advisor. He even oversaw my thesis.”

“He seems to care about you a lot.”

“He wanted me to pursue a Ph.D.”

“Why didn’t you?”

At that, Nanyeong chuckled softly.

“Do you think I could live my life the way I wanted to?”

The response surprised Hyunjae. He had assumed that someone like Nanyeong, born into immense privilege, could do whatever he pleased. But at least when it came to his career path, it seemed his choices had not been his own.

After the professor left, Hyunjae noticed the faint hum of whispers around them. People were starting to recognize Nanyeong.

“It’s uncomfortable, isn’t it?”

At the question, Nanyeong shook his head. His demeanor was detached, as if deflecting the attention around him.

“It’s fine. Hardly anyone would dare come up to talk to me anyway.”

Just as he said, people merely stole glances at him but refrained from approaching.

Contrary to Hyunjae’s concerns about him being bothered, Nanyeong stayed on campus even after their meal. He ordered a fresh fruit juice for Hyunjae at a familiar on-campus café and handed it to him.

“You paid for lunch, so dessert’s on me.”

As he said this, Nanyeong lightly tapped Hyunjae’s chest with the back of his hand. It was a small, casual gesture, but Hyunjae liked it so much that he found himself rubbing the spot where Nanyeong’s hand had touched. Accepting the juice, he felt as if they really were on a date.

The two walked side by side, eventually following a serene mountain path. The trail, lined with thoughtfully arranged landscaping, wound its way up the slope, connecting to the entrances of other campus buildings perched on the hill.

“Let’s sit over there.”

Following silently behind, Hyunjae went to the spot Nanyeong had pointed to and took a seat.

“Between classes, I used to come here to take a break. From the outside, you can’t see in very well.”

“…”

“But from here, the view is perfect.”

And indeed, it was. Hyunjae gazed quietly at the campus spread below the hill.

A gentle happiness warmed his chest like soothing water. This was exactly what he had longed for: a simple day spent with someone he loved. Visiting his older partner’s alma mater, listening to stories of his college years, sharing an affordable meal and dessert—all of it was perfect.

“Let’s do this sometimes,” Hyunjae murmured.

He felt Nanyeong’s gaze on his profile and hesitated before continuing.

“Even if you go out, I’ll leave the door open for you. I won’t shut you out… so let’s eat together.”

Nanyeong didn’t respond, only watching him. Hyunjae’s heart thumped as if he’d confessed all over again.

“Thank you for that,” Nanyeong said softly.

“…Then—”

Feeling a spark of hope, Hyunjae looked over at him. But Nanyeong’s expression was different from what he had imagined. The absence of emotion in his eyes made Hyunjae’s heart sink. An inexplicable sense of foreboding crept over him.

“Next year, or the year after, you’ll go to college. Good people and bad people alike will flock to you.”

Hyunjae didn’t understand why Nanyeong was saying this in the current context. He stared intently at the side of his face, which avoided looking at him.

“You’ll have plenty of chances. Pick someone good.”

“What are you talking about?”

Hyunjae’s lips trembled, entirely out of his control.

“There will be many temptations. A lot of people will come after you. But don’t form relationships based on exchanges of favors. I’m in no position to say this, considering I’ve been that person to you… but…”

Though he must have felt Hyunjae’s penetrating gaze, Nanyeong continued speaking, staring ahead.

“Find someone with whom you can just be yourself.”

Hyunjae bit his lip, trying to suppress the trembling that wouldn’t stop.

“You’re the one who made that impossible.”

“Yeah… which is why I’m saying I won’t interfere anymore.”

“What gives you the right? We haven’t even resolved things yet… there are still hundreds of photos left.”

“Whether it’s money or the relationship itself, I’ll let you decide. But whatever it is, it’d be better to end it soon.”

“…”

“You know it too, don’t you? This relationship is only eating away at you.”

At that, Nanyeong bowed his head slightly. There was a sincerity in his posture that hadn’t been there before. Realizing he was serious sent a wave of panic crashing over Hyunjae.

“Don’t give me that. Don’t act like you’re doing this for my sake while running away.”

“Running away… yeah, you could see it that way. But I mean it. You need to stay far away from someone like me.”

The bitterness in his voice brought a thought to Hyunjae’s mind.

No way…

“Is this because of the drug?”

“The drug? What are you…”

Nanyeong, who had been bowing his head, slowly lifted his gaze. His eyes reflected puzzlement, as though he’d just heard something incomprehensible.

“You weren’t normal, were you? Even when you weren’t drinking, it was like you were always drunk…”

“…That’s just… Yeah.”

Nanyeong sighed, furrowing his brow.

“You’re right.”

The casual way he admitted such a serious fault left Hyunjae speechless.

“If you stay involved with me, you’ll end up being suspected too. So, let’s stop here.”

“Hyung…”

If what he said was true, then Hyunjae had turned a blind eye while the person he loved sank deeper into an irredeemable pit. He had recognized that Nanyeong’s deteriorating state wasn’t normal, yet he’d been content with simply having him by his side. The thought made Hyunjae feel disgusted with himself.

“That’s why you shouldn’t waste your time idolizing someone who’s destroying you, holding on to empty emotions that won’t lead anywhere…”

Hyunjae shook his head miserably, cutting him off.

“Are you saying that as someone with firsthand experience?”

At that, Nanyeong met his gaze. His eyes were unusually deep, making it hard to discern their meaning.

“Yeah. I’ve thought about it dozens of times. If I’d confessed back when I was still a foolish kid, before my fantasies grew too big, what would have happened? Maybe it’s better to get hit with the harsh truth early—if I’d been rejected and treated like trash back then, maybe I’d have grown into a more normal person.”

Nanyeong rummaged through his pocket and pulled out a cigarette. As he lit it, his cheeks looked noticeably hollow.

When had Nanyeong started thinking this way? Incredibly, it seemed he had already come to terms with everything in his heart. If one side lets go of the taut string that binds them, there’s no point in continuing the push-and-pull.

“I’m a shallow person. Like you said, vulgar and cowardly. I’m obsessed with hierarchy. I’m worse than anyone, and I’m so scared that I’ll never acknowledge a man as a partner—not even on my deathbed. I can’t give you even a hundredth of what you want.”

His cold words felt like daggers stabbing Hyunjae’s chest. Tears welled up over his trembling eyes.

“The idea of liking someone else again is horrifying.”

Nanyeong’s voice carried a deep sense of futility.

“I’ve decided never to love again… so you shouldn’t waste your time either.”

Ꮺ

The date ended in a mess.

Neither spoke on the way home. On the bus, Hyunjae silently shed thick tears, one after another. Fortunately, the bus wasn’t crowded, but a few passengers occasionally glanced at him. Nanyeong, noticing Hyunjae’s state, stole several sidelong looks at him, his concern evident.

“Stop crying…”

Nanyeong reached out, trying to wipe the tears from Hyunjae’s damp cheeks. Hyunjae turned his head away, rejecting the gesture, and wiped his own face.

When they arrived home and stepped into the narrow entryway, they realized it was the first time they had come back together since Nanyeong had moved in. There was no time to savor the moment. Hyunjae’s eyes were still wet, and Nanyeong appeared visibly uneasy at the sight—at least, that’s how it seemed to Hyunjae. Instead of saying anything, Nanyeong paced around and sighed repeatedly. But Hyunjae ignored him, sitting in the corner of the room and crying endlessly.

“This isn’t something to cry about.”

“…”

Hyunjae looked up at him with a resentful gaze, as if he were being scolded. But seeing the equally conflicted expression on Nanyeong’s face only confused him further. Maybe Nanyeong didn’t know how to comfort someone who was crying.

“Just don’t worry about it.”

“You’re sobbing in this tiny house, right next to me. How am I supposed to not worry?”

“If you’re not going to comfort me, then leave.”

With that, Hyunjae buried his face in his knees. But Nanyeong lingered, pacing around for quite some time.

Only after a while did he go into the bathroom to wash up. Hyunjae let out a long sigh and thought about what he could possibly say to persuade Nanyeong. Yet he realized that no matter what he said, he couldn’t threaten or coax him out of a decision he had already made.

The end was truly approaching.

Hyunjae reflected on how desperately and pathetically he had tried to cling to him. If even his one and only weak weapon couldn’t work, what could he possibly do? It was as if the weapon he held was made of cotton, useless for striking. If he tried to pierce Nanyeong with it, he would only grow angry at the deception and leave for good.

As the sun set and the room grew dark, Hyunjae remained curled up in the corner. Even as dinnertime passed, he neither ate nor changed his position.

By then, the rare outing had exhausted Nanyeong, who buried himself under the covers and fell into a deep sleep. Hyunjae, too, began to doze off, his arms wrapped tightly around his knees.

Not long after waking up, Nanyeong noticed that Hyunjae was still in the same spot and froze momentarily.

“…”

Nanyeong sluggishly got up, moving around the kitchen and rummaging through various things on his own. After a while, he gently shook Hyunjae’s shoulder.

“Eat. You must be hungry.”

Hyunjae slowly lifted his bowed head. On the table, Nanyeong had set out a pot of instant ramen. Hyunjae shook his head silently.

“Eat at least a little.”

“You eat it, hyung.”

“I don’t need it.”

With his thin wrist, Nanyeong grabbed Hyunjae’s arm to pull him toward the table. The frailty of his wrist struck Hyunjae deeply, making his throat tighten. But he shook his head again.

“If you eat, I’ll eat too.”

At that, Nanyeong sighed, pulled the table closer, and sat across from him. To prove a point, he picked up a strand of noodles with his trembling chopsticks and put it in his mouth. Seeing the subtle tremor in Nanyeong’s hand, Hyunjae slowly scooted over and forced himself to take a bite.

“It tastes bad…”

“…”

The ramen was terrible—the broth wasn’t properly measured, and the noodles were completely overcooked. Yet, despite claiming it tasted bad, Hyunjae forced himself to finish it all.

As the gloomy meal was nearing its end, Nanyeong muttered quietly.

“I don’t know how to cook.”

“…”

“Sorry.”

It was the first apology Hyunjae had ever heard from him. Though he knew the words weren’t about their relationship, they still made him want to cry, so he lowered his head again.

If you’re sorry, you shouldn’t have said we’re done.

You’ve always been like this, hyung. You always had the upper hand.

“…”

“So why are you pretending to care about me? You were going to end it like this anyway. Why did you abandon your pride and come to my place? I don’t even feel grateful for this ramen.”

He resented and pitied him at the same time. He felt sorry for the man who didn’t even know how to cook and had skipped meals while being trapped in this house because of him. What crime had Nanyeong committed to deserve this? Hyunjae’s selfish desire to bring someone who once had everything down to rock bottom had forced Nanyeong to experience poverty he didn’t deserve.

Hyunjae realized he had come full circle in his emotions. At the bottom of all the resentment, hatred, and obsession was, once again, love.

He wanted to tell him, Please don’t go.

He wanted to confess, The days you stayed here felt like a dream to me.

So many words were stuck in his throat. They formed a heavy lump, too massive to swallow or spit out, leaving him suffocated.

Even as his shoulders shook with sorrow, Nanyeong only watched him quietly. Despite having pushed him away and treated him coldly, Hyunjae now overflowed with regret.

“Is this really the end for us?”

Hyunjae asked, holding back the tears that threatened to overwhelm him. How foolish it was to ask this question to someone who had already made up their mind. Despite vowing never to show weakness, here he was, exposing it all.

“Hyung, I—I was wrong… Please don’t say it’s over. I promise I won’t act badly anymore. Even if you ignore me or treat me harshly, I’ll be okay. This is all my fault, so please…”

At those desperate words, Nanyeong quickly lowered his head. Avoiding Hyunjae’s gaze, he pressed his lips together tightly.

Suddenly, Nanyeong pulled him into a tight embrace, nearly taking Hyunjae’s breath away.

“Hyunjae… Don’t cry.”

“…”

“I’m not someone worth clinging to.”

His voice trembled as though he was gritting his teeth, and Hyunjae could feel the tension in his arms. For a brief moment, Hyunjae tried to grasp the faint sincerity in Nanyeong’s actions. But just as quickly as it appeared, the moment passed, feeling like a dream. Nanyeong started to pull away again.

“Hyung…!”

Hyunjae grabbed at him desperately as he began to retreat. Gasping for air, he clung to Nanyeong’s back, his tears falling uncontrollably. Nanyeong’s thin hand gently patted his trembling back, as if to console him.

“No matter what kind of person you are, I need you…”

Gasping for air, Hyunjae desperately clung to Nanyeong’s back. Nanyeong’s thin hand gently patted his trembling back as if to comfort him. But despite his actions, he never said anything like “I love you” or “I care about you.”

The constant whisper of “I’m sorry” in his ear made Hyunjae’s heart ache with deep sorrow.

Ꮺ

Exhausted from crying, Hyunjae awoke to a strange groan in the early morning.

The muffled sound was distant and faint, as if it were coming from a dream. Blinking his swollen eyes, he realized after a moment that it sounded eerily similar to Nanyeong’s voice.

“Hyunjae…”

And in that moment, a muffled, unclear sound came from behind him. Hyunjae immediately sat up and turned to look. Nanyeong’s face was hidden beneath the covers, but the wrist that was sticking out was unnaturally pale. As soon as he noticed the trembling hand, Hyunjae ripped the blanket off.

Nanyeong was curled up, convulsing. His hair was damp with cold sweat, tangled and messy, and he couldn’t open his eyes properly. It was obvious from a glance that something was terribly wrong. This wasn’t just a case of being sick or drunk—it was something far worse.

In that moment, Hyunjae felt all the blood in his body freeze.

“It hurts…”

“Hyung, what’s wrong? Hyung, wake up! Hyung!”

Hyunjae slapped Nanyeong’s cheek urgently, but Nanyeong still couldn’t open his eyes, and his head drooped once Hyunjae tried to lift it.

“Should I call the secretary? Or 119…?”

Nanyeong, grimacing in pain, shook his head against the pillow. As Hyunjae turned to find his phone, Nanyeong grabbed his wrist with an incredible force.

“I know what this is. It’ll be okay soon.”

Despite saying that, Nanyeong’s breathing was very unstable. His eyes were unfocused, and cold sweat drenched his body in a way that seemed dangerous. The sight of him convulsing made Hyunjae feel a deep, overwhelming fear. With trembling hands, he tried to break free from Nanyeong’s grip to grab his phone, but as soon as he let go, Nanyeong collapsed, like a fallen leaf, back onto the bed.

“Someone, someone’s collapsed suddenly! Here’s the address…”

Before long, the sound of sirens grew near. The ambulance had arrived at the alley, and the noise was getting louder. Meanwhile, Nanyeong’s convulsions only worsened, and Hyunjae couldn’t think straight.

“Hyung, let’s go to the hospital. You’ll get better.”

Hyunjae tried to sit Nanyeong up and put his coat on him.

“It’s fine, don’t worry. I’ll be okay…”

Though he could hardly breathe, Nanyeong was refusing to go to the hospital. His anxiety and worry grew, and Hyunjae’s frustration surged.

“Hyung, you’re not okay!”

“…I know.”

Just then, the sound of heavy footsteps climbing the stairs echoed. Hyunjae rushed to the door and flung it open.

“Here! The patient is here.”

The paramedics brought a stretcher into the hallway. They stopped Hyunjae from trying to lift Nanyeong himself, and carefully carried Nanyeong onto the stretcher.

Once Nanyeong was moved, his body that had been resisting earlier now fell completely limp. He could no longer hold himself up. Hyunjae, seeing this, felt an overwhelming sense of fear and swallowed hard. Upstairs and from the neighboring house, curious voices and the sound of doors opening followed.

Nanyeong’s pale, lifeless hand hung loosely under the stretcher. His skin, eyes closed, was as pale as a corpse.

Ꮺ

“Seo Nanyeong? Is the patient’s name Seo Nanyeong?”

“Are you sure?”

“We need to confirm with the guardian’s details…”

“If that’s correct, he shouldn’t be here. Quickly move him to the VIP room…”

Since Nanyeong arrived, the ER had become chaotic in an instant. Amid the confusion, a nurse approached Hyunjae.

“Are you the guardian of Seo Nanyeong?”

“…Yes.”

The nurse asked him several questions, but Hyunjae didn’t know Nanyeong’s birthdate, blood type, or any emergency contacts. When he couldn’t answer any of the nurse’s questions, she gave him a puzzled look and quickly left.

Afterward, Hyunjae was treated as a complete outsider. Once the medical staff realized Nanyeong was the “Seo Nanyeong of Taeryang Group,” they swiftly moved him out of sight and kept Hyunjae in the dark, not telling him anything.