WANL Ch 24

“Mr. Seo Nanyeong, why has it been so hard to see you these days? If you’re unemployed now, you should at least take some time to relax.”

Several people waved at Nanyeong, who had joined a drinking party for the first time in a while. The dimly lit, members-only lounge bar was a place Nanyeong used to frequent.

“Come on, losing your job isn’t the end of the world.”

“Well, it was a pretty big deal of a company.”

“Stop acting like a recluse and come out of your cave already.”

Nanyeong pretended not to hear the teasing remarks. As soon as he slumped onto the plush, low sofa, someone offered him a drink. He shook his head.

“I’ve quit drinking.”

The nickname “recluse” wasn’t entirely an exaggeration. Under the lights, it was clear to anyone that Nanyeong looked fragile. His thin frame and dim gaze betrayed how much his life had unraveled. Despite dressing in his usual perfectly curated style, his gaunt face showed signs of deep exhaustion. Ironically, his extreme thinness accentuated his sharp features, giving him an even more striking appearance than before.

“Come on, just one drink won’t hurt.”

“I mean it. I had a bad episode. I have to quit completely.”

“Why?”

One friend, eyes wide with curiosity, was quickly waved off by another.

“You didn’t hear? He had a gastric spasm and was taken to the ER. The paramedics thought he was on drugs and called the police.”

“Wait, that was you? Were you actually caught with something?”

“No, it was the tranquilizers….”

“Again? You should do something about that. Isn’t it time to adjust your prescription?”

Nanyeong forced a smile. It was no secret in their circles that he trembled without his medication. He had been rushed to the ER for alcohol and medication overdoses multiple times, so it wasn’t surprising.

Even as he tried to act nonchalant in settings like this, everyone knew that Seo Nanyeong wasn’t doing well. Most chalked it up to the stress of inheriting a legacy he wasn’t prepared to handle. But the truth lay elsewhere.

Heartbreak.

For the first time in his life, Nanyeong was experiencing the pain of a breakup.

It was a mystery even to him why the aftermath of stepping away from a relationship he couldn’t even admit as love hit harder than the unrequited crush he had clung to for 15 years.

Was it the difference in the person? Or the way it ended?

Or was it the difference between a crush and a relationship…?

The thought made him chuckle involuntarily. Whatever he and Hyunjae had, it couldn’t be called a relationship by any stretch of the imagination.

Still, Jung Hyunjae was someone he couldn’t help but hold onto. The memory of the man, his large, warm body clinging to him and crying like a child, still stirred something in him.

“I need to drink something….”

To soothe his bitter mood, Nanyeong ordered a soda instead of alcohol. As he poured cola over a large, perfectly clear ice cube in a whiskey glass, someone burst out laughing.

“This is the first time I’ve seen Seo Nanyeong drinking cola in a place like this.”

Nanyeong paid no mind and waited for the fizz in his soda to settle before bringing it to his lips.

“Hello, Executive Seo.”

A lilting, birdlike voice came from nearby. It belonged to a stunning woman with platinum-blonde hair. She looked familiar, and as Nanyeong stared at her intently, trying to place her face, her cheeks flushed pink.

“I’ve heard so much about you—from my brother.”

“Ah…”

Nanyeong’s gaze shifted to his friend standing beside her. His friend, the CEO of an entertainment company, had recently mentioned dating someone. It seemed this was the person—judging by her style, likely a celebrity.

“You’re even more beautiful in person.”

“Hey, hey. Don’t tell Nanyeong he’s beautiful; he hates that. He thinks he’s a tough guy.”

The friend interjected, clearly uneasy about his girlfriend possibly showing interest in the strikingly handsome Nanyeong.

“Oppa, doesn’t Executive Seo have a partner?”

“Of course not. He’s divorced—completely free.”

“Should I introduce one of my friends to him…?”

Though unemployed at the moment, Nanyeong’s wealth was still immense. If anything, stepping away from his responsibilities made him an even more attractive potential partner, unburdened by work and still fabulously wealthy.

As she whispered her suggestion, her boyfriend cut her off.

“Forget it. Introduce him to someone? Nah. Seo Nanyeong’s played around plenty already.”

Despite the blunt remark, Nanyeong merely smiled faintly without offering any rebuttal. After all, it was true—he had indulged in ways unimaginable to most. No one here would ever guess what he had endured in that cramped villa, submitting to a man ten years his junior, letting himself be treated cruelly.

At that moment, someone tapped him on the shoulder.

“By the way, Nanyeong, you haven’t been in touch with Jihoon either, have you?”

The unexpected name made his hand freeze.

“He said he’d come today since it’s been so long since you showed up.”

“What? Really? I thought he was glued to his newlywed life. He never comes out, no matter how much we call him.”

“Exactly. I thought his wife had him on a tight leash, but I guess Seo Nanyeong is important enough to break the rule. Oh, there he is!”

As soon as the words were spoken, the door behind them swung open, momentarily letting the music from the hallway spill into the room. Without even looking, Nanyeong knew who had arrived—Jihoon, entering with a cheerful laugh.

Among the smiling faces, only Nanyeong’s expression hardened.

“Nanyeong, it’s been ages.”

Jihoon looked down at him, a smile plastered on his face.

“…”

Nanyeong didn’t bother hiding his displeasure. He stood up immediately.

“I’m leaving.”

“What? Already?”

“I only came to say hi. I’ve seen everyone I needed to. That’s enough.”

His curt response left no room for argument. Without another word, he walked out of the room. His friends, though surprised, didn’t stop him, unwilling to ruin the lively atmosphere.

Before heading home, Nanyeong made a quick stop at the restroom. He washed his hands and wiped his mouth with his still-cool, damp fingers. As he raised his head, he noticed Jihoon standing behind him, having followed him in.

“Seo Nanyeong, I heard you got kicked out of your company.”

“…”

It had been ages since his succession had been settled—what was the point of bringing it up now? Nanyeong’s expression remained blank as he refused to respond.

“Did they find out you’re gay? Is that why your father gave up on you?”

Through the mirror, Nanyeong glared at Jihoon, who wore an expression of twisted delight. It was the face of someone on the verge of ripping the wings off a defenseless butterfly—a cruel, gleeful bully.

The last time they met was when Nanyeong had confessed to him. He had bared his feelings, prepared to face the worst, only for Jihoon to react with revulsion and violence. That was when Nanyeong learned the truth: Jihoon had always harbored a deep-seated inferiority complex, and that inferiority had turned him into someone capable of great cruelty.

Jihoon had never been the type to show mercy to those weaker than him. His pretense of being a good friend was nothing more than a performance to serve his own interests.

And in that single moment, when the dynamics between them shifted, Nanyeong became the weaker one. It took mere seconds for him to realize that the image he had held of Jihoon was nothing more than a delusion.

“Are you mad? Oh, is it because of what I said on that show? So what? No one but me knows it was about you.”

Jihoon smirked as he closed the distance between them. Nanyeong sighed softly, shook the water from his hands, and ignored him entirely.

“Your arm seems fine now.”

Jihoon’s casual tap was met with immediate rejection as Nanyeong swatted his hand away.

“Don’t touch me.”

Jihoon chuckled dryly.

Nanyeong tried to brush past him, but Jihoon, with a smirk that reeked of malice, blocked his path. Unbothered, Nanyeong shifted direction, only to be cut off again. This time, he fixed Jihoon with a sharp glare.

“Do you have something to say?”

“Gotten all high and mighty after taking a few punches, huh? Where’s that trembling little coward who confessed to me? You were hilarious back then.”

Nanyeong scoffed lightly.

“And who was it that spent their life groveling to that ‘hilarious’ coward?”

Bang!

In an instant, Jihoon shoved Nanyeong with brutal force into one of the empty stalls, slamming him against the wall so hard it felt like his shoulder might break. The door clicked shut as Jihoon locked it behind him, cutting off any escape.

A cold sensation crept under Nanyeong’s shirt as Jihoon’s hand intruded.

“Nanyeong, you know what’s crazy? We know each other so well—it’s intoxicating.”

“…Let go!”

“I’ll do what you love so much. Just keep your mouth shut. You like give-and-take, don’t you?”

Jihoon’s hands roamed violently, his touch rough and devoid of affection. Each movement made Nanyeong’s skin crawl. This wasn’t intimacy—it was a power play, an assertion of dominance.

“Ugh…”

When Jihoon’s hot breath brushed his cheek, Nanyeong turned his head away in disgust.

“Ha, look at you. Who’s the filthy one now, avoiding me like this?”

“Let go. This is sexual assault.”

“Assault? Coming from someone who’s always given me that ‘please screw me’ look? Oh, wait—your current boyfriend must be keeping you too busy to feel hungry down here.”

“Yeah.”

Jihoon’s eyes narrowed at Nanyeong’s immediate reply.

“Boyfriend? He’s probably just some guy chasing after your money.”

“…Ugh…”

“You’re pathetic. And you don’t even know that your so-called boyfriend’s been trying to sell your photos to me.”

“No.”

Nanyeong’s voice cut through Jihoon’s words like a knife.

“He wouldn’t do that.”

Jihoon’s face twisted in frustration. Ever since their confrontation began, Nanyeong hadn’t flinched or cowered. At that moment, Nanyeong realized he felt no lingering pity or nostalgia for Jihoon.

“Jihoon,” he murmured, his tone low and steady.

“You think everyone in the world is as low as you and me. But you know what? Not everyone is.”

“Low? Who are you calling low?”

“Yeah, I’m a snob. I don’t deny it. But you? Pretending to be a decent person in front of me—that must’ve been humiliating. I get it now. You must’ve felt so pathetic. That’s why you’re so thrilled to think you’ve got something on me now.”

Jihoon’s eyes burned with fury as he grabbed Nanyeong by the collar and yanked him forward.

“Jihoon,” Nanyeong said calmly, meeting his gaze without a trace of fear.

“Do you still do drugs with your wife?”

The sound of the slap echoed sharply in the small stall. It wasn’t just a slap—it had the weight of a punch behind it. Pain shot through Nanyeong’s head, his ear ringing, and blood dripped from his split lip onto his shirt. He glanced down at the crimson stains before letting out a sharp, humorless laugh.

Jihoon had been dabbling in drugs for years. Back when they were friends, he’d often try to drag Nanyeong into it, masking his own desperation with forced camaraderie.

He had learned to corner his opponent when he was backed into a corner himself. Though the idea of threatening someone he once considered a friend didn’t sit well with him, Nanyeong thought to himself, This is what real give-and-take looks like.

“What’s wrong? Why don’t you hit me some more?”

“You bastard…”

“Can’t do it? Why? Realizing your backing doesn’t compare to mine?”

Speaking calmly, Nanyeong lightly shoved Jihoon aside, who was trembling with anger. Straightening his clothes, he casually turned the doorknob and stepped out.

Dusting off his shirt, Nanyeong spoke again.

“Jihoon, I told you before—there’s a hierarchy to everything.”

“…”

“Just because I’m gay doesn’t mean that hierarchy changes.”

As Jihoon’s face contorted with humiliation, Nanyeong leaned in slightly and whispered softly in his ear.

“If you wanted to be above me, you should’ve seduced me, not hit me. Then, just maybe, I would’ve ended up beneath you, just as you wanted.”

Ꮺ

This is hell.

Staggering into his apartment, Nanyeong leaned against the wall, silently cursing. What was supposed to be a refreshing night out had turned into a complete disaster.

That animal…

The memory of Jihoon’s hands on him stoked a fire of anger that refused to be quenched. Every time he recalled Jihoon’s hot breath in his ear or those rough hands roaming his skin, a shudder ran through his body. As if trying to scrub the memory away, Nanyeong wiped the side of his face with the back of his hand.

To steady his trembling hands, he clenched his fists tightly and trudged down the hallway. Tossing his jacket carelessly onto the sofa, he made his way to the kitchen. Opening the fridge and then the wine cellar, he found nothing. Of course. His secretary had cleared out all the alcohol following the doctor’s orders.

Resigned, Nanyeong slumped back onto the sofa. As he leaned back, the rustling sound from his jacket pocket caught his attention. Annoyed, he reached into the pocket and pulled out a small packet of his usual anti-anxiety medication.

The smooth, white capsules were the same as always. Turning the packet over in his hand, a faint suspicion crept into his mind.

Since being hospitalized for gastric lavage, his doctor had advised against both alcohol and drugs for the time being. The pills he’d previously been prescribed were stored away, untouched. He certainly didn’t remember bringing any with him when he went out.

Sigh…

The more he thought about it, the more his head throbbed. Tossing the packet aside, Nanyeong sank back into the sofa.

Outside, the pool’s blue lights flickered in the darkness of the garden. Nanyeong stared at them listlessly.

At that moment, there was only one face he longed to see.

If only someone could tell me how to forget a face you desperately want to see.

For someone like him, forgetting had always been excruciatingly difficult. His stubbornness had kept him clinging to his first love far longer than he should have. Even if someone gave him a way to let go, he knew he’d remain stuck like this for a while.

It was all his karma.

If only I had realized sooner…

Though his relationship with Hyunjae had started as a way to fill the void left by Jihoon, he had known from the start that Hyunjae was entirely different. For someone like Nanyeong, who had never been so deeply intertwined with another person emotionally or physically, the intensity of their bond had been overwhelming.

How could he ever forget something like that?

Hyunjae was warm, sincere, and unguarded—a still-maturing soul capable of growing into something even more beautiful. But the more time Hyunjae spent with him, the more tainted he became. Nanyeong knew that his own presence would only confuse and burden Hyunjae further. He was the one ruining Hyunjae.

Nanyeong thought back to how his first love had broken him.

He couldn’t bear to destroy Hyunjae’s life the same way.

Convincing himself that he had made the right decision, Nanyeong clung to that belief. Yet, the more he reflected on their ill-fated relationship, the deeper his regrets grew, and his sleepless nights multiplied. Not even alcohol was an option to dull the pain.

What if things had gone differently?

Though his eyes were fixed ahead, Nanyeong saw nothing. He remained like that for what felt like an eternity.

Ding-dong—

The doorbell rang sharply, its sound cutting through the stillness of the house.

Nanyeong, who had been sitting in a daze, widened his eyes slightly. The house fell silent again, as if the chime had been a figment of his imagination.

Just as he wondered if he had misheard, the doorbell rang again. This time, Nanyeong turned his head. He saw the lights in the annex switch on and the housekeeper, draped in a blanket, crossing the garden to deal with the unexpected visitor.

The bell rang for a third time.

Slowly, Nanyeong rose to his feet and walked toward the garden, the cold breeze brushing against his skin as he opened the door.

“…I’m telling you, come back in the morning,” the housekeeper was saying.

“Just confirm whether he’s home or not,” came a clear, firm voice that pierced the cold night air.

Nanyeong froze mid-step.

“And why would I tell you that?” the housekeeper replied sharply.

Standing opposite her was a broad-shouldered man. Sensing movement, the man looked up, and their eyes met in midair. That’s when Nanyeong realized he wasn’t imagining things.

Jung Hyunjae was standing there, staring directly at him.

“Young master? I thought you were out…” the housekeeper said, turning to him with a puzzled expression. It was only natural—he had mentioned going out earlier.

“…I’ve been back for a while,” Nanyeong replied, walking closer to the gate.

“Is that so? This man has been rather insistent…”

“I’ll handle it. Please go back inside and rest.”

Even after his reassurances, the housekeeper hesitated, glancing warily at the visitor. His demeanor didn’t exactly inspire trust. With a sigh, Nanyeong urged her inside.

“It’s fine. You can go now.”

Reluctantly, she retreated, her doubts evident. Once she was gone, Nanyeong turned back.

“Hyunjae.”

From the moment he had arrived, Jung Hyunjae hadn’t taken his eyes off him. Why had he come back, looking so unsettled, after Nanyeong had gone to such lengths to let him go?

Hyunjae’s gaze flicked over Nanyeong’s attire—a single shirt draped over his frame.

“Aren’t you going to let me in?”

“…It’s cold. Come inside.”

Even as he led Hyunjae across the garden, Nanyeong’s expression remained one of disbelief. It felt like a dream.

When they entered through the door leading directly to the living room, the warmth of the house finally embraced them. Turning on the lights, Nanyeong noticed Hyunjae quietly taking in the unfamiliar surroundings. Come to think of it, this was the first time Hyunjae had been inside this house.

“Want some tea?”

Hyunjae didn’t respond.

Rolling up his sleeves, Nanyeong retrieved the tea set he hadn’t used in ages. As he prepared the tea, he could feel Hyunjae’s unwavering gaze on him. The intensity of it made his mouth go dry.

“Why are your hands shaking like that?”

The teacup clinked against the saucer as Nanyeong set it down, his trembling hand pressing against the other to steady it.

“Withdrawal symptoms, maybe.”

“…”

“Why are you here? At this hour?”

Hyunjae suddenly stepped forward, his footsteps echoing in the quiet room. Before Nanyeong could react, Hyunjae leaned in, close enough for him to catch the fresh scent of soap mingled with the crispness of winter air.

Hyunjae’s face was so near that he could feel his breath. Then, leaning even closer, Hyunjae inhaled near the nape of Nanyeong’s neck.

“That’s not your usual cologne.”

“…”

“Where have you been?”

“…None of your business.”

“Who did this to you?”

Hyunjae gently touched the corner of Nanyeong’s mouth with his thumb. The unexpected sharp pain startled Nanyeong, and he blinked in surprise. Hyunjae then raised his thumb, now stained with blood, in front of Nanyeong. It seemed that his lip had split when Jihoon slapped him earlier. He had completely forgotten about it. Drops of blood were also staining his shirt. Nanyeong felt a rush of embarrassment, realizing he had acted nonchalant despite this.

At that moment, Hyunjae pulled out his phone from his pocket. After a brief moment of fiddling with it, he held the screen up in front of Nanyeong.

“I just got a message,” he said.

[By the way, do you know if Nanyeong uses drugs?]

[Just saying, be careful of Nanyeong.]

The sender was Jihoon. The message had arrived with a photo attached. It was a picture of Nanyeong sitting in a lounge bar, looking bored, clearly taken without his knowledge. The moment Nanyeong saw it, he felt the blood drain from his face.

At the same time, he felt a foolish sense of weakness. He had been foolish enough to think that maybe Hyunjae had come back because he couldn’t forget him.

“Did you come because of this?” Nanyeong asked, trying to mask his feelings with a calm expression.

“Yes,” Hyunjae nodded.

Nanyeong muttered quietly to himself, “I see.”

He could now see through Jihoon’s shallow attempt to cause discord. This might not be the first time. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that it wasn’t just him who had provoked Hyunjae’s sense of revenge. The thought that Hyunjae’s cruel curiosity had spread to him made Nanyeong feel suffocated.

But denying it would only make him sound like he was asking for Hyunjae’s sympathy. Hyunjae had every right to hate him. After all, seeing the innocence of someone who couldn’t forgive him would only make things more uncomfortable.

Nanyeong sighed and responded, “I told you before. It’s true. Jihoon was right about that.”

The mention of “Jihoon” made Hyunjae’s throat tighten. His eyes burned with jealousy as he glared at Nanyeong.

“Are you really that irresponsible? The day I took you to the emergency room, the paramedics reported drugs. The police even came to our house. If you knew you caused trouble, at least apologize.”

Nanyeong hadn’t known that detail, and he was a bit taken aback. At the same time, he couldn’t help but feel like trash under Hyunjae’s accusing gaze. Without realizing it, he almost cried. He wasn’t good at lying, and he couldn’t keep up the charade any longer.

“Dammit… I don’t use drugs. Don’t worry, you won’t get dragged into it.”

“Why are you swearing at me?”

“I didn’t do anything that deserves your criticism! The only things I’ve taken are tranquillisers and sleeping pills.”

“Are you asking me to believe that? You expect me to believe that just tranquilizers could do this to you?”

“Well, what do you want to believe? Even if I admit it, you wouldn’t believe me. I took them with alcohol… whatever. I don’t want to argue.”

Nanyeong waved his hand dismissively. He didn’t feel like defending himself anymore. But Hyunjae, seemingly provoked by his attitude, didn’t back down.

“Hyung, have you really fallen this far?”

“How far is ‘this far’? You know I’ve never been sane.”

“…”

“So I mess with innocent people like you with money…”

“Stop acting like a tough guy!”

Hyunjae suddenly shouted at him, his face contorted with frustration. Nanyeong, startled by his harsh expression, momentarily forgot to breathe. An uncomfortable silence filled the space between them.

After a long sigh, Hyunjae spoke again, his voice softer this time.

“Hyung, no matter how I think about it, I think you must have liked me a little.”

At those words, Nanyeong’s gaze wavered.

“Why didn’t you tell me you got beaten by Jihoon? Was it because you were ashamed? Or because you didn’t want me to worry? Was it because you were always drunk when you saw me, or because you regretted the past?”

“…”

“The reason you always stayed, even when I treated you badly and told you to leave my house, is obvious, isn’t it?”

Nanyeong couldn’t tear his eyes away from Hyunjae’s face, watching him speak through a trembling breath.

“Even when I told you I’d delete all the photos, you always insisted on just deleting one at a time.”

“Wasn’t it because you wanted to spend more time with me?”

Hyunjae roughly wiped the tears pooling in his eyes with the back of his hand. Nanyeong’s heart churned violently. Maintaining a poker face was something he excelled at, but ever since a certain point, seeing Hyunjae cry made it impossible for him to stay still.

“You don’t have to like me as much as I like you. Even if the feelings you have for me are so small that you think you can dismiss them altogether… I can’t do that. If you liked me, even just a little, admit that you did.”

“……”

“Then I’ll walk away without expecting anything. Just knowing that you liked me will be enough for me to live on.”

“……”

“Then I’ll delete the remaining 400 photos too. So, just say it. Let that be the price for the photos.”

“……”

“Admit that you liked me.”

Thick tears streamed down Hyunjae’s cheeks. Just seeing that made Nanyeong’s chest ache.

“Hyunjae.”

Nanyeong finally opened his mouth with difficulty.

“Do you like me, or do you hate me?”

Even if it was cowardly to answer the question with another question, he couldn’t help it. It was the truth. Lowering his gaze, Nanyeong continued.

“It’s probably both. I think feelings like that aren’t really love.”

“Don’t dodge the question.”

Nanyeong swallowed dryly. Hyunjae said he’d let go cleanly if he admitted to liking him, but Nanyeong knew that if he really did, Hyunjae would never be able to move on. That’s why he couldn’t say it. Especially not in front of Hyunjae, whose expression seemed like he’d throw everything away the moment he heard those words.

“I’ll take responsibility for what Jihoon did to hurt you. I’ll atone for it my whole life… I’ll deal with him so he can’t come near you. That’s why this is where we should end.”

“How can you say that?”

Hyunjae’s voice trembled as he asked. His tear-filled face was innocent and earnest, belying his age. Nanyeong unknowingly looked at him with a tender expression.

“Does everyone become like you when they’re ten years older? I don’t get it.”

He wanted to comfort the defeated Hyunjae.

“You see, even that drawn-out first love of mine ended in a pathetic way. Once I saw their true colors, my feelings just cooled. You’ll probably feel the same.”

“That’s not true for me!”

Hyunjae desperately denied it. He pretended they had only loved each other fervently, as if they had never made each other miserable, mistreated, or acted coldly. It was as though he believed his own lies.

Perhaps he truly thought it was the truth. After all, everything had stemmed from love. That was what hurt the most. Hyunjae didn’t need to experience such agony.

“For me, loving someone is a terrible thing. You’re right—I’m a coward. I’m scared to start. That’s why I decided never to…”

“Do you think that’s something you can decide by sheer will?”

Hyunjae shouted again. His tear-filled eyes pierced deeply into Nanyeong’s heart.

“Why did it have to be me when you came to that realization?”

He sobbed and gasped for air. The more Nanyeong looked at Hyunjae’s desperate state, the more it felt like someone was clawing at his insides. At that moment, Nanyeong realized where the pain that often squeezed his chest came from. What he thought was just stomach cramps was actually…

“I don’t care if you’re an alcoholic, a drug addict, or how cowardly and mean you are. I don’t care how broken your life is. I want you, so give yourself to me. Just say you’ll be mine…”

In the end, Hyunjae broke down and cried, pouring out his long-repressed emotions. Without even saying the words “I like you” or “I love you,” he exposed his love entirely. That face of his was heartbreakingly lovable. Nanyeong couldn’t hold back and clenched his trembling fists tightly.

And as if drawn in, he reached out to pull Hyunjae into an embrace.

Ding-dong—

The doorbell rang. The rare sound of the bell ringing for the second time at such an early hour made Nanyeong’s face stiffen. Outside, the lights in the annex flicked on, and the housekeeper began crossing the garden toward the gate.

At that moment, red and blue lights glimmered vividly on the branches of a tall tree that grew higher than the fence. Seeing those lights, Nanyeong grabbed Hyunjae’s wrist and pulled him forcefully.

“Come with me.”

“What?”

“Hide.”

“Hide? Where…?”

“It’s the police.”

Nanyeong quickly realized that the red and blue lights were none other than the flashing lights of a police car. As soon as he understood this, he sent Hyunjae upstairs.

The unlit staircase felt cold, like the entrance to a haunted house. Hyunjae, now hiding at the top of the stairs, looked down at Nanyeong with tear-streaked cheeks.

“Excuse us.”

A moment later, several police officers entered alongside the housekeeper. Having composed himself in the meantime, Nanyeong ran a hand through his hair and went to the front door to greet them as if nothing had happened.

“Sorry to disturb you so early. We’ve received a report.”

“What kind of report?”

“A violation of the Narcotics Control Act. You’ll need to come with us.”

“I was tested not long ago. It should have already been proven that there were no drug substances detected.”

“This time, we have a witness.”

Hearing the murmured conversation from downstairs put Hyunjae on edge.

After a prolonged back-and-forth, Nanyeong sighed and picked up the jacket he had left on the sofa.

“I assume I can bring my lawyer.”

“Yes, call them to meet us.”

Shortly after, the house grew quiet as the voices and footsteps receded. Even the annex’s lights were turned off.

Hyunjae waited until long after the sound of a car departing faded into the distance. Finally, he slowly stepped out from his hiding place, descending the wooden staircase to the now-empty living room.

“……”

Collapsing onto the sofa, he stared blankly at the shimmering blue light reflecting off the swimming pool outside.

Nanyeong had said that the pills he was taking were just tranquilizers. Was that true?

Normally, Nanyeong wasn’t the type to lie. But whether others would believe him was a different matter. His drastically thinner frame and the fatigue etched deeply into his face made it clear he wasn’t in a normal state.

How long did Hyunjae sit there? At some point, as he shifted his position, his fingertips brushed against something.

Hyunjae picked up a small plastic-wrapped pill packet. It looked familiar—identical to the ones he had found behind the fridge at Nanyeong’s house.

Examining the pills closely, Hyunjae slowly turned them over in his hands before slipping them into his pocket. There was something he wanted to confirm.

Ꮺ

“Hey, what’s this? You quit and totally ghosted everyone. Did you even make it to college?”

The person Hyunjae sought out was Woochan, someone he used to work part-time with long ago. It had been a while, and to put it bluntly, Woochan looked like a complete wreck. His sunken eyes lacked focus, and he was much thinner than Hyunjae remembered. It was obvious he was deep into drugs.

“I didn’t make it to college.”

“Who cares about college? It’s not like your life is over.”

Hearing Hyunjae, who always seemed better than him in every way, admit so easily that he hadn’t gone to college made Woochan unexpectedly sympathetic. Hyunjae humored him, playing along and keeping things light.

“Luckily, Areum still had your contact info.”

“Oh, yeah! Areum reaching out put me in a good mood for the first time in ages, and then—damn—it turns out it was you looking for me. Women, man. They never reach out unless they need something. Would it kill them to check in once in a while?”

Hyunjae had little connection with Woochan, so to meet him, he had reached out to a mutual friend they had worked with, Areum. Despite her strong dislike for Woochan, she agreed to act as a go-between for Hyunjae. In any case, he was glad it worked out.

“Hey, I wanted to ask you something. You seem like the kind of guy who’d know.”

Hyunjae cautiously showed Woochan the pills he had found at Nanyeong’s house.

Woochan had always had a fascination with pills, often bringing strange ones to work and offering them to coworkers. Hyunjae himself had been pressured into taking some, though it turned out they were just vitamins rather than actual drugs. Still, if anyone could identify them, it would be Woochan.

“This. What do you think it is?”

“What’s this? Never seen it before.”

Hyunjae carefully held the capsule between his fingers, twisting it open. When it split, a fine white powder spilled out. Woochan’s eyes widened as he examined the crystalline particles and took a cautious sniff.

“Hey! Where the hell did you get this?”

“…Where do you think I got it?”

“This is the real deal.”

Those words darkened Hyunjae’s expression.

This drug had been carelessly lying around on Nanyeong’s sofa. Thinking about it now, it was a terrifying scenario. If the police had found it, Nanyeong could have been immediately arrested for possession of illegal drugs.

Hyunjae’s heart pounded ominously.

He had rushed to Nanyeong’s house the moment he received Yoo Jihoon’s message, not thinking twice. But what if the police had been tipped off around the same time? It felt as though the scattered pieces of a puzzle were coming together.

The unsettling scent of another man’s cologne lingering on Nanyeong, the split lip and traces of blood, and, most tellingly, the photo that had been sent from the lounge bar that day…

Yoo Jihoon.

“Thanks, hyung.”

Hyunjae swept the powdered drug into a bag and abruptly stood up. He bowed politely, and Woochan, startled, also stood.

“Huh? Wait, where are you going? You’re leaving already? Let’s at least have a drink!”

Ignoring Woochan’s shouts, Hyunjae left the store.

Ꮺ

[Is this the drug you’re talking about?]

[Do you know where I can get it?]

[I’m interested too, but Nanyeong won’t tell me anything.]

For the first time, Hyunjae responded to the persistent messages Yoo Jihoon had been sending him.

As he waited for a reply, Hyunjae stared at the screen with a chillingly calm expression.

He might be wrong. Maybe the claim about tranquilizers was a lie, and Nanyeong was truly doing drugs while hiding it from him.

But if Nanyeong’s words were true and he hadn’t touched drugs at all, then Yoo Jihoon seemed intent on putting Nanyeong in trouble for some reason. Whatever the motive, if that was the case, it was a serious situation. Having seen this much, Hyunjae couldn’t just let it go.

The “read” mark appeared on the message. Holding his breath, Hyunjae waited for the reply.

[You’re hard to get a response from.]

[Are you trying to buy the drug? It’s not easy to get.]

Hyunjae didn’t reply. In situations like this, the desperate party always shows their hand first.

After a long silence on Hyunjae’s end, another message came through.

[If I help you get it, what’s in it for me?]

[Still willing to sell that photo?]

Gotcha.

Hyunjae’s eyes widened, and he immediately began typing a reply.

[Where should we meet?]

The deal was set.

As he confirmed the location provided, Hyunjae bit down on the inside of his lip.

Ꮺ

The police investigation ended by morning. Having spent the entire night at the station, Nanyeong’s face was etched with exhaustion.

“You’re free to return home now. We’ll be in touch,” one of the officers said.

At last, Nanyeong nodded and stood, giving a polite bow. His courteous demeanor was surprising, especially for a third-generation chaebol, and it seemed to have left a favorable impression on the officers who had spent the night with him.

“Thank you. I’ll be on my way.”

“Take care.”

It wasn’t until he was walking down the hallway that Nanyeong dropped the mask, his expression turning cold and cynical. His lawyer, walking beside him, leaned in to whisper.

“Secretary Jung has the car waiting outside. However…”

“Yes, go on.”

“The press somehow caught wind of this. Reporters are outside, so I suggest avoiding the main entrance.”

Letting out a sigh of frustration, Nanyeong’s shoulders sagged.

Lately, the media had been abuzz with stories of drug abuse scandals among the elite and celebrities, drawing intense public scrutiny. People were naturally drawn to sensationalism over truth. Even if Nanyeong were completely innocent, his status made it all too easy for others to assume he had bought his way out of trouble. Once a story hit the headlines, even a later correction wouldn’t erase the negative impression planted in people’s minds.

“Let’s do our best to prevent this from becoming a news story. And we’ll file lawsuits against any outlet that names you or writes articles that could identify you.”

“Alright.”

With a curt response, Nanyeong headed for the back door. The lawyer following closely behind struck up a conversation.

“By the way, do you have any idea who the informant might be?”

“The informant…”

A frown creased Nanyeong’s forehead.

For someone to report him in the act, they must have been confident, armed with solid evidence.

“Ah!”

Suddenly, Nanyeong stopped dead in his tracks.

The tranquilizer found in his jacket that day hadn’t been placed there by him. What if that pill, which looked identical to the ones he usually took, was a trap?

“Is something the matter?” the lawyer asked.

“I think I know who reported me.”

A rough hand invading his clothing and groping his skin freely came to mind—Jihoon’s touch. Could he have secretly slipped the pill in at that moment? Jihoon and Nanyeong knew everything about each other—both their beneficial habits and their destructive ones. From the moment their relationship soured, Jihoon must have considered all their shared secrets as potential weapons. He might have even schemed to implicate Nanyeong as a co-conspirator, ensuring he wouldn’t be able to retaliate easily. It was entirely plausible.

Shaking off the reporters lingering near the back door, Nanyeong hurried home. The first thing he did upon stepping inside was check if Hyunjae was still there.

“Hyunjae.”

But no one responded. Searching every corner of the house with a growing sense of urgency, Nanyeong soon had to accept the fact that Hyunjae was gone. As abruptly as he had appeared—like a dream—Hyunjae had vanished without giving him a chance to stop him. A pang of regret coursed through Nanyeong as he aimlessly wandered around the house.

Eventually, his restless steps brought him to the center of the living room.

“I’m sure I left it here.”

But the pill that had been lying on the sofa was nowhere to be seen. Just in case, Nanyeong bent down, feeling around the floor beneath the sofa and between the cushions. Yet the pill was gone.

Ꮺ

As night fell, light snow began to drift down.

The location Yoo Jihoon had mentioned was in a redevelopment area near Yongsan. Nanyeong and Jihoon had often used this area for secret rendezvous, so Hyunjae was familiar with the route. However, the closer he got to the address Jihoon had provided, the more foreign the surroundings became.

Not far from towering luxury apartment buildings, there was a cluster of low, tightly packed buildings. The neighborhood was full of steep hills and narrow alleys, making it a difficult area for cars to navigate.

“This is the right spot, huh? Once you go in there, getting out can be tricky…” the taxi driver muttered, clearly hesitant to proceed further. Sensing the driver’s reluctance, Hyunjae quickly replied.

“Just drop me off here. I’ll walk the rest of the way.”

He had no intention of naively walking straight into the meeting spot Jihoon had designated. His plan was to wait and confirm Jihoon’s arrival before revealing himself. To do that, it was better to get out of the taxi early and find a place to hide.

After stepping out of the taxi, Hyunjae climbed the snow-dusted hill on foot.

Most of the buildings were dark, giving the area an eerie atmosphere. The occasional barbed-wire-topped wall suggested that this place might have once been part of a U.S. military base. Overgrown, untamed trees cast shadows like disheveled ghosts in the dim light.

Hyunjae found a spot between buildings with a good view of the meeting location and crouched down to hide. The space was tight, with a ledge about knee-high. Climbing onto the ledge, he found the area cramped with outdoor units, making it difficult to maneuver inside. Still, it was just right for staying out of sight.

There was no way to know if Jihoon would actually show up. Hyunjae had made it clear that he wouldn’t hand over the photos unless Jihoon came in person. All he could do now was hope that Jihoon was serious about this deal.

The appointed time arrived. Tension crept into Hyunjae as he kept his eyes fixed on the empty road. But there was no sign of anyone. Only the falling snow, illuminated by the white glow of the streetlights, drifted down in silence.

Five minutes passed. Then ten. Hyunjae considered sending a message but decided against it. He didn’t want to appear too eager or impatient.

At the thirty-minute mark, disappointment began to set in. The cold had started to seep into his body as he stood outside for so long.

It was then that he felt a faint vibration from his phone, tucked inside his coat. Taking care not to let the light from the screen show, Hyunjae checked the message.

[You’re still there, right? Sorry, the drinking ran late.]

Not long after, a large car appeared at the bottom of the hill. Holding his breath, Hyunjae watched the vehicle’s headlights cut through the darkness. It was an enormous SUV, its hulking size nearly filling the entire narrow road.

Soon, the car pulled up near the meeting spot. Its hazard lights cast an amber glow over the snow-covered road, and someone stepped out of the driver’s seat without turning off the engine. The man, with his slender frame and long legs, immediately caught the eye. Even by his silhouette alone, Hyunjae could tell he was a celebrity.

“Seriously, they need to tow all these illegally parked cars,” the man muttered as he stood with the streetlight at his back. Watching Jihoon’s figure, Hyunjae felt a chill run down his spine.

Yoo Jihoon had actually come.

Under the streetlight, Jihoon lit a cigarette. Even while standing still, his body occasionally swayed. Considering he mentioned coming from a drinking party, it was likely he was still tipsy.

Licking his dry lips, Hyunjae spoke up.

“Did you bring it?”

Jihoon turned his head toward the voice. Slowly stepping out from the shadows of the alley, Hyunjae revealed himself.

As Hyunjae’s face emerged partially into the moonlight, Jihoon’s expression hardened. His piercing gaze locked onto Hyunjae, scrutinizing him with unnerving intensity. Then, Jihoon’s lips curled into a twisted smirk, followed by a faint, mocking chuckle.

“Are you my doppelgänger?”

“…”

“Who fixed you up like this? Seo Nanyeong?”

At that moment, jealousy burned through Hyunjae’s chest. The dark emotions he had barely been holding back started to cloud his mind. He hated the man before him—envied him, despised him. The storm inside him threatened to explode.

“Seo Nanyeong is even more disgusting than I thought. Is he insane?”

Suppressing the raging storm within, Hyunjae responded calmly.

“…Weren’t you friends with Nanyeong?”

“Friends? He spent over ten years pretending to be my friend while secretly sexually harassing me with his eyes. How is that friendship?”

“If you’re not friends, then why do you need the photos?”

“That’s none of your business. How many photos do you have?”

“…A few hundred, maybe.”

“Ha, you’re just as crazy as he is.”

Jihoon’s smile widened in amusement, a clear sign of condescension. Hyunjae silently observed the triumph radiating from his face.

“Are you a professional con artist?”

“…”

“Well, with that face, I can see you luring rich ladies and making a living. You and I both thrive on our looks, though we’re in different leagues. Ha!”

Hyunjae remained silent. Seeing no response, Jihoon stepped closer, his eyes brimming with vulgar curiosity.

“Can’t you show me just a few?”

“If you show me what you brought first,” Hyunjae replied.

Jihoon clicked his tongue, glaring at Hyunjae before turning back to his car. After rummaging through the trunk, he returned holding something in his hand.

“Here. Check it.”

Hyunjae didn’t immediately recognize what it was. He wasn’t familiar with such things. He glanced between Jihoon and the item before reluctantly accepting it. Under the moonlight, the white crystalline powder sparkled like sugar.

“Now it’s your turn.”

Hyunjae simply stared at Jihoon.

“By the way, do you have any detailed photos? Honestly, I thought that bastard was impotent, but I never imagined he was gay. I mean, he once cried in front of me, saying he couldn’t get it up for his wife, and now I know why. Anyway, do you have photos of him being penetrated, ejaculating, or tangled up with you? Those kinds of photos, for sure?”

Jihoon smiled as he spoke, his words dripping with mockery. Already consumed with jealousy, Hyunjae lost all sense of reason at his taunts.

Thud!

Hyunjae raised his leg high and kicked Jihoon square in the chest with all his strength. Caught off guard, Jihoon stumbled backward and fell, landing hard on his backside. Before Jihoon could get back up, Hyunjae climbed on top of him and began raining punches.

Smack! The sound of flesh meeting flesh echoed as Jihoon’s lip split, blood spraying. Jihoon shouted desperately.

“You’re insane! I’m a celebrity!”

“You did that to Nanyeong, didn’t you? You’re the one who ruined his face, aren’t you?”

“You bastard… I’ve got filming tomorrow!”

As soon as Jihoon spat out another curse, Hyunjae landed another brutal punch. Despite his inexperience in fighting, his unpolished strikes carried raw force. Without any finesse, just a few blows left Hyunjae panting heavily.

“Ugh…”

Jihoon, flailing in defense, grabbed Hyunjae’s hair and yanked it, forcing Hyunjae’s upper body forward. Losing his balance, Hyunjae toppled over, allowing Jihoon to wriggle free. Seizing the moment, Jihoon scrambled to escape, but Hyunjae, still lying prone, instinctively grabbed his ankle.

“Agh!”

Jihoon crashed down again, reaching for anything nearby. Unfortunately for him, his hand landed on a garbage bin filled with food waste. With a loud clatter, the bin tipped over, spilling its foul contents onto the ground.

“Ugh, goddammit… disgusting!”

Hyunjae grabbed Jihoon by the collar and yanked him up, throwing another punch at his face.

“Why did you break his arm? Huh? Did you hit his face too? How could you—”

“Fucking faggots!”

Jihoon suddenly thrust his head upward, slamming into Hyunjae’s chin. Hyunjae bit down on his tongue, and blood flooded his mouth. Yet the searing rage in him dulled any sensation of pain. Without a word, he wiped the blood from his lips with the back of his hand and glared at Jihoon, who was now frantically trying to escape.

“This bastard’s lost it,” Jihoon muttered, stumbling toward his car in panic. He clambered inside, desperate to flee. But just as the door was about to shut, Hyunjae shoved his arm inside, grabbing Jihoon and trying to drag him back out.

“Get out!”

As Jihoon was half-pulled from the car, he slammed his foot on the accelerator. With a roar, the car jolted forward, sending Hyunjae sprawling to the ground.

“Hyunjae!”

At that moment, a voice echoed from somewhere—it sounded both distant and near. Jihoon froze, his nerves fraying at the thought that someone else might have witnessed the scene. Panicking, he groped for a hat in the passenger seat and pulled it low over his face. Ignoring the open car door, he slammed on the accelerator.

The warning chime for the open door blared incessantly as Jihoon reached out to close it. In doing so, his body leaned forward, and his foot pressed harder on the pedal. The car surged forward again.

Crunch.

The sickening sensation of something being crushed under the tires sent a shiver down Jihoon’s spine. It didn’t feel like a speed bump. Alarmed, he glanced out the window. The road was littered with remnants of burst garbage bags, their foul contents spilling everywhere. Convinced that it was just the trash he had run over, Jihoon pressed on the accelerator once more.

“Ahhh!”

A piercing scream rang out.

“Shit!”

Jihoon’s mind raced as he remembered Hyunjae being flung to the ground moments earlier. Heart pounding, he jerked the steering wheel sharply and sped off, the car swerving recklessly through the narrow alley. The engine roared as the RPM climbed, and the car sideswiped several parked vehicles along the way.

The chaotic scene disappeared as Jihoon’s car vanished down a winding hill, leaving the alley eerily silent once more.

“Hyung…”

Hyunjae lifted his head weakly.

Amid the swirling snow, someone dressed in a black coat lay sprawled nearby. A faint groan, barely audible without straining to hear, escaped from the figure.

“Hyung!”

Gritting his teeth against the pain in his battered body, Hyunjae staggered to his feet. Ignoring the sharp ache from his bones, he stumbled toward Nanyeong, who lay motionless in the snow. He gently turned him over.

“Why are you here…?”

One of Nanyeong’s shoes had come off, revealing a pale, bare foot. Blood trickled from his leg, quickly pooling beneath him. With trembling hands, Hyunjae shook Nanyeong’s shoulders.

“Hyung… Hyung…!”

Nanyeong’s eyes fluttered open slightly. Seeing that he was conscious, Hyunjae’s heart thudded with both relief and dread. Tears spilled down his cheeks as he shakily pulled out his phone.

“Someone’s been hit by a car… Yes, please hurry. As fast as you can…!”

After ending the call, Hyunjae, sobbing and gasping for breath, wrapped Nanyeong in his arms. The expensive coat Nanyeong wore was cold to the touch, as if it had absorbed all the chill from the snowy ground.

“Why… why did you come here?” Hyunjae choked out between sobs.

“Ugh…”

“How did you even know to come?!”

“…You should’ve stayed home. Why were you wandering around?”

Nanyeong, who had been groaning in pain, finally managed to utter a single, clipped sentence. With just those few words, Hyunjae understood—Nanyeong had been looking for him all this time. Waiting for him late into the night, only to track him down here like this…

“Why did you do that?”

Hyunjae clenched his teeth, recalling how someone had thrown themselves with all their might to shove him out of the way, just as the car struck.

“You said you didn’t love me.”

“…….”

Hyunjae swallowed back the lump of sorrow rising in his throat. His entire body shook uncontrollably. As he lowered his head and sobbed quietly, a cold hand touched his cheek, brushing against him as if to wipe away his tears.

“I didn’t come here to sell photos. I….”

“I know,” Nanyeong whispered faintly.

“You’re not like that.”

Hyunjae couldn’t bring himself to say anything more. Instead, he gripped Nanyeong’s hand tightly, squeezing the pale, slender fingers as if he might crush them in his palm. Even so, Nanyeong’s hand remained icy, refusing to warm. Hyunjae pulled him close, wrapping him tightly in his arms, desperately trying to share his body heat. But the more he tried, the colder Nanyeong seemed to grow.

“Why… why is no one coming?”

Hyunjae’s voice cracked as he sobbed uncontrollably, fumbling to make another call. While the dial tone rang, Nanyeong murmured softly,

“They’ll come… just wait…”

His voice sounded detached, as if the situation were someone else’s problem. Slowly, his eyelids drooped shut, and snowflakes began to settle gently on his pale, lifeless face.

The sight made Hyunjae’s heart clench in terror, as if he were staring at a corpse.

There was still so much left unsaid. Just when he thought he might finally understand the depths of your elusive heart…

Hyunjae pressed his forehead against Nanyeong’s chest. His unsteady breaths mingled with sobs that made his shoulders tremble violently. Nanyeong’s hand fell weakly onto Hyunjae’s shoulder, like a fleeting gesture of comfort. Snowflakes rested lightly on the fragile, pallid hand.

And moments later, the sound of an ambulance siren echoed faintly in the distance.