WANL Ch 6

Hyunjae expressed his feelings in a more general way.

“…I guess so.”

Nanyeong understood more deeply than expected. This time, Hyunjae looked at Nanyeong’s expression. He had a thoughtful face.

“Don’t worry. I’m not the type to see multiple people at once.”

Soon, Nanyeong said that and laughed to himself as if it were a joke. Hyunjae didn’t feel like laughing, but he forced a smile.

“And it’s true that I don’t want to be in a relationship right now.”

Hyunjae didn’t know whether to be happy or sad about this.

Is it similar to being rejected before even confessing?

“Well, I felt the same way when you said I was noisy.”

“Why are you suddenly bringing that up?”

“Think about it. If you were hanging out with a pretty girl your age and said there was an older guy who was good at sex, how would that make me feel…?”

“Do you have a talent for delusions? And I was talking about the car, not you.”

“It’s called inferiority complex. Thinking unnecessary thoughts.”

He was right. Unnecessary thoughts can eat away at your mind.

Hyunjae tried to lift his spirits. Then, pretending to be indifferent, he wrapped his arms around Nanyeong’s waist as he headed to the kitchen and suddenly kissed him on the lips. Nanyeong, easily drawn in, accepted the intimate touch as if he were being treated like a lover.

Nanyeong, who kissed him back, whispered,

“So, Hyunjae, let’s not think unnecessary thoughts when it’s just the two of us.”

It was a wise thing to say.

Hyunjae nodded as if drawn in.

Ꮺ

A bead of sweat slowly trickled down the hollow of his back as he lay face down. Every time Hyunjae touched Nanyeong’s wet back with his hands and tongue, the taut back muscles moved rhythmically. The bead of sweat that had gathered on his spine slowly rolled down, eventually slipping down the steep slope of his lower back, into the crack of his firm buttocks.

Watching this, Hyunjae gently spread Nanyeong’s wet buttocks with his hand. The soft, wet inside was already prepared, and the foreplay seemed sufficient.

Hyunjae confidently touched Nanyeong’s erection with his hand. In the past, he never imagined that a day would come when he would touch another man’s penis in a sexual way. But now, not only did he touch it without hesitation, but he also enjoyed the firm, full feeling in his hand.

“You’re hard.”

Hyunjae lightly kissed the back of Nanyeong’s neck and knelt behind him. As he applied lube to himself, Nanyeong also raised his hips, knowing it was his turn. Appreciating his partner’s cooperation, Hyunjae inserted himself without hesitation. The wet entrance forced open, and he thrust deep inside in one go.

“Ugh, haah…”

Hyunjae held Nanyeong’s hips and enjoyed the sensation of insertion for a moment. On the other hand, Nanyeong, suddenly penetrated deeply, seemed overwhelmed and kept trying to sit down.

“Does it hurt?”

“Ugh, yes… Just, feeling it.”

Nanyeong’s head dropped, revealing his white neck. Shaking his head weakly, Hyunjae left a short kiss on the back of his neck and widely caressed his slim waist and back. The feeling of his smooth, sweaty skin was pleasant. Holding his hips firmly, Hyunjae repeated the thrusts, making the sound of flesh slapping together. Nanyeong moaned and collapsed onto the bed again.

Unable to come to his senses, Nanyeong ended up being held by Hyunjae and sat on his lap.

“Ah…!”

Nanyeong let out a short scream as he was suddenly penetrated from below. The change in angle seemed to shock his deep insides. Bearing the weight of his own body, Nanyeong panted heavily.

“Move, ugh…”

“Haah, can’t… move… ah…”

Nanyeong shook his head and grabbed Hyunjae’s thighs tightly to keep his balance. Afraid of going deeper, he couldn’t sit properly. Eventually, Hyunjae wrapped his arms tightly around Nanyeong’s waist and started thrusting up from below. Nanyeong, who was panting, made desperate sounds as he trembled.

“This position, it’s hard, huh. Ah. Hyunjae, Hyunjae…!”

As Nanyeong kept falling forward, Hyunjae changed positions again. He turned Nanyeong to face him, sitting him down and making him hug his back. Nanyeong clung to Hyunjae like a drowning man clutching at a straw. Every time he was thrust into, his body shook like a buoy, and he desperately pressed against Hyunjae.

Hyunjae liked the way Nanyeong clung to him. Even as he thrust into him, he stroked Nanyeong’s cheek and brushed his sweat-soaked hair behind his ears several times. Despite the intense movements below, Nanyeong began to melt under Hyunjae’s gentle touch.

They embraced each other tightly, their bodies pressed together, making wet sounds. Their breaths mingled as they gazed into each other’s eyes from close up. There was more emotion in that gaze than meets the eye. The uncalculated situation revealed sufficient affection and excitement.

Looking closely at Nanyeong’s beautiful face, Hyunjae stared intently, causing Nanyeong’s eyelashes to flutter. His lowered gaze was slightly reddened.

“I like this more.”

“……”

“I want to do it while looking at your face. I like your face.”

Nanyeong said that and kissed Hyunjae first. Nanyeong’s actions reassured Hyunjae.

So, at least this situation wasn’t the worst. Hyunjae thought. He had just rushed ahead of his feelings, and this relationship was continuing as before…

It was after their bodies, entwined and sweaty, had cooled down.

“Um… I’ve been wondering about something,” Nanyeong asked, looking like he was about to fall asleep.

“Are you seeing any other women besides me?”

“……”

“You avoided answering earlier.”

Hyunjae looked at Nanyeong silently, curious about why he was bringing up this topic again.

“Why do you want to know?”

“Wouldn’t anyone hate being compared to someone else?”

“Ha.”

Nanyeong turned Hyunjae’s earlier words back on him and closed his eyes, as if explaining was too bothersome. Hyunjae let out an incredulous laugh.

“Nanyeong.”

Hyunjae gently tapped Nanyeong’s cheek, afraid he might fall asleep before hearing the answer.

“There is.”

Of course, it was a lie. Hyunjae had no intention of dating, but it was a weak revenge, a silent request for Nanyeong to be more proactive if he wanted to monopolize him.

“She’s the same age as me, and she treats me well. She’s kind and nice……”

“Are you dating her?”

Nanyeong opened one eye slightly and asked.

“I’m thinking about it.”

“Ah… really?”

“I’m the type who’s good at relationships. My ex-girlfriends said so.”

“……”

“They said I treat them better when I’m in a relationship.”

Perhaps because of his drowsy state, Nanyeong seemed to take Hyunjae’s words as the truth.

Nanyeong blinked slowly, looking at the ceiling. Feeling the sleep fading from his face, Hyunjae swallowed nervously. He wanted to ask why Nanyeong was curious about his situation when he had drawn a clear line, saying he had no intention of dating.

“How would you feel if I dated someone?”

So, Hyunjae whispered in Nanyeong’s ear. The tickling breath made Nanyeong turn his head and mutter.

“I have no right to interfere. If you want to, you should……”

“……”

“But then, this is where we end.”

Hyunjae listened intently to his words, hoping for a hint of jealousy, but he ended up laughing hollowly. He felt foolish for expecting even a little jealousy.

“End?”

“Yes. You can’t cheat if you have a girlfriend.”

“I didn’t know you cared about that, Hyung.”

“When I think about it, you seem to see me as some kind of monster… I’m just someone who sleeps with men.”

The words struck a chord, as it was true he had once thought of him as “promiscuous and lacking morals.” Though he didn’t date, it seemed he had his own set of rules for meeting people.

Still, one unresolved unease lingered. Even if this relationship ended, someone like Nanyeong, who was so open about his desires, wouldn’t suddenly abstain. It was obvious he’d find someone young and full of vigor, like him, and move on. Perhaps only fools like himself were swayed by such a reckless man…

How many hearts had he toyed with? That thought consumed him as he found himself gazing endlessly at Nanyeong’s face.

Nanyeong turned back to Hyunjae and leaned in closer. After a soft, slow kiss that pressed against his lips, he spoke, this time looking Hyunjae directly in the eye.

“Promise you’ll come back to me if you break up.”

The words seemed to grip Hyunjae’s eyes and heart tightly.

“I’ll do whatever you want.”

“…”

“There’s no one else like you…”

With that, Nanyeong climbed on top of Hyunjae and lay against him, as though letting his weight rest entirely. As their bodies overlapped, the contrast between their heartbeats became even more pronounced—Hyunjae’s was much faster and more erratic.

Holding the peacefully closed-eyed Nanyeong in his arms, Hyunjae was thrown into turmoil.

Does he hate the hassle of relationships but still want to keep seeing him?

And if my relationship ends, he wants me to come back… But for how long?

With Nanyeong asleep in his arms, Hyunjae found himself unable to sleep.

Sometimes Nanyeong seemed emotionally unaffected, but at other times, he acted like someone more attached than Hyunjae himself. It was hard to tell if this was truly the attitude of someone who didn’t care about him.

Hyunjae wondered if he was the only one so shaken by the enigmatic Nanyeong.

Ꮺ

“Hey, has anyone ever told you you look like a celebrity?”

“Seriously. From a distance, I thought it was some kind of shoot. I was wondering why you were here.”

The buzz of chatter in the bar filled his ears. Hyunjae realized they were talking about him, but as always, he didn’t pay much attention. It was Woochan who usually got annoyed at such remarks, even though Hyunjae himself didn’t mind.

“Ah, come on, people. Look closely. That guy’s a knockoff.”

Woochan swung his tattooed arm dramatically, earning cold stares from the customers.

“So what if he’s a knockoff? A face like that isn’t common.”

“Wow, you’re really into looks, huh?”

“Isn’t a guy’s face the most important thing?”

The women countered Woochan’s protests with sharp retorts, wounding his pride over his own appearance. When Hyunjae approached, carrying their ordered beer bottles, their expressions shifted noticeably. They eagerly held up a prepared phone screen showing a photo.

“Look at this. Doesn’t he look like him? Especially from this angle.”

Hyunjae couldn’t help but glance at the screen. Though they insisted the resemblance was striking, it didn’t resonate with him, as someone who had never closely examined his own face.

Is this really how others see my face?

The face in the photo, bathed in soft sunlight, had a completely different aura. Perhaps it was the expression—so unlike the dull, somber eyes he always saw in the mirror. The man in the black-and-white photo had eyes that seemed to convey a myriad of emotions.

“Is he an actor?”

“Yeah. He’s famous these days. Don’t pretend you don’t know. You recognized him as an actor, didn’t you?”

“I really don’t know. It’s just…”

Hyunjae awkwardly backed away. He had only guessed the person was an actor because of his expressive gaze.

Maybe it was because of their comments, but when Hyunjae stopped by the restroom, he found himself studying his reflection. His familiar face stared back from the streaked mirror.

Still, the idea of looking like a celebrity seemed far-fetched. Under the harsh fluorescent lighting, his face looked nothing like the man in the photo. Perhaps it was the difference between a polished actor and an unrefined raw gem. Regardless, Hyunjae dismissed the thought as nonsense.

But if Nanyeong’s reason for liking him really was his face…

“I want to look at your face while we’re at it. I like your face.”

Recalling Nanyeong’s whispers, Hyunjae ran wet fingers through his hair. With his forehead exposed, he thought he might look a little better.

Hyunjae, who wasn’t even a narcissist, felt a sense of bewilderment at himself for thinking that far and ruffled his hair absentmindedly. The reason he started paying attention to compliments he usually brushed off was because he wanted to understand why Nanyeong liked him. Or perhaps, he wanted confirmation that Nanyeong truly did like him.

Ꮺ

[Come to the main branch of XX Department Store after your shift.]

There was a text from Nanyeong. It had been sent three hours earlier, but Hyunjae hadn’t had time to check it during his busy work hours.

Hurriedly changing out of his convenience store uniform, Hyunjae replied to Nanyeong.

[I just finished. I’ll head over quickly.]

[But why?]

There was no reply from Nanyeong. Debating whether to call, Hyunjae decided instead to leave immediately.

Since rush hour had passed, the bus route cutting through the heart of the city wasn’t as congested as he’d expected. On his way to the department store, Hyunjae wondered what this was about. Until now, they had never met outside of the officetel. Their meetings were purely for sex, so it wasn’t surprising, but occasionally going out for a meal seemed plausible. Yet Nanyeong always insisted on staying at home.

“I don’t like people looking at me.”

That’s how Nanyeong had answered when Hyunjae asked him why. Remembering Nanyeong’s heavily tinted car windows and his irritation at secretly taken photos, Hyunjae found it understandable.

With his good looks and wealth, one might expect him to enjoy the attention, but Nanyeong disliked putting himself on display. Even his consistently plain suit attire, so uniform it seemed like he wore the same outfit every day, reflected this. If Hyunjae hadn’t been close to him, he wouldn’t have noticed that the fabric of those suits subtly changed each time.

It was as if Nanyeong had established strict limits on what he wore, almost like a self-imposed uniform. While Hyunjae now found that consistent style impressive, there were moments when it felt like Nanyeong was deliberately restraining himself.

[When you arrive, take the VIP elevator from the valet parking area.]

Just as Hyunjae stepped off the bus, a second text arrived. Surprised by its content, he stood in place and looked around. By now, it was nearly 10 p.m., and the office district was quiet, with most people gone. To his astonishment, the destination Nanyeong had mentioned really was the department store.

Worried about whether it was still open, Hyunjae approached the building, where a valet attendant standing in the parking area came forward as if expecting him.

“Are you Jung Hyunjae? I’ll escort you upstairs.”

Following the attendant through the silence of the empty department store, Hyunjae eventually arrived at the VIP room. Glancing around the unoccupied space, he was soon approached by a uniformed staff member who directed him to a plush leather sofa.

“What would you like to drink?”

“Ah, anything is fine…”

“Would you like to see the menu?”

Caught off guard by the sudden situation, Hyunjae quietly accepted the menu. The list of drinks resembled a café menu but without any prices. As he read through it repeatedly from top to bottom, he heard someone approaching from behind.

“You got here quickly.”

A light tap on his shoulder, and the person passing by was none other than Nanyeong. Slumping into the sofa across from Hyunjae, Nanyeong’s face was marked by fatigue.

“Did work just end?”

“Yeah.”

Nanyeong replied curtly, rubbing his eyes. The dark circles under them suggested he hadn’t been sleeping well. His weary face had a languid look, almost as if he were drained from some passionate encounter. Hyunjae found himself staring at that face intently.

“I granted your wish the other day.”

“What wish?”

“You asked me to wear a hoodie.”

“Ah…”

“So now you have to grant me a wish.”

With that, Nanyeong casually called over a staff member to order drinks and a catalog. Without even glancing at the menu, he handled the order for two drinks, leaving Hyunjae no choice but to set down the menu he had been holding.

“I have a style I like.”

“What kind?”

Rather than answering directly, Nanyeong rested his chin on his hand and simply gazed at Hyunjae.

Well, it wasn’t surprising that someone as particular about his preferences as Nanyeong wouldn’t be satisfied with Hyunjae’s lackluster wardrobe. Feeling self-conscious, Hyunjae nervously grasped the plain, patternless T-shirt he was wearing.

It wasn’t until a moment later that Hyunjae realized Nanyeong was mentally dressing him in various outfits.

The slightly unfocused gaze that swept over his body from head to toe sent a shiver up his spine. Trying to calm the pleasant excitement that stirred within him just from Nanyeong’s gaze, Hyunjae rubbed the back of his neck absentmindedly.

Soon, clothes hanging on the rack were brought over one by one—mostly dark suits and monochrome shirts. Watching them with a slightly dazed expression, Nanyeong propped his chin on his hand and suddenly straightened up with an “Ah.”

“Seller, I didn’t come here to shop for myself today.”

“I should’ve mentioned it earlier.” With that, Nanyeong glanced at Hyunjae before standing up. He pulled the seller aside and whispered something in a low voice.

“…Last time…, that friend… …similar style.”

Though Hyunjae caught a few scattered words, they didn’t hold his attention. What occupied his mind instead was the proximity between Nanyeong and the seller. To top it off, Nanyeong lightly rested a hand on her back to guide her closer. It wasn’t a full touch, just the edge of his palm grazing her back in a courteous gesture, but even that slight contact irritated Hyunjae to no end.

Left alone, Hyunjae tried to suppress his jealousy by sipping his drink and looking elsewhere. It was absurd. In the past, his attention would’ve been drawn more to the woman beside Nanyeong. Despite his slim build, standing next to a woman highlighted Nanyeong’s tall stature and broad shoulders, emphasizing his masculinity. That contrast, ironically ideal, was deeply unsettling.

“The fitting room is this way. Would you like to try it on?”

The seller returned with a bright smile, addressing Hyunjae. Shaking off his stray thoughts, he headed to the fitting room.

A short while later, wearing “Nanyeong’s style” and looking at himself in the mirror, Hyunjae was slightly taken aback. It was just a change of clothes, yet the reflection staring back at him felt unfamiliar. If asked whether he disliked the look, the answer was the opposite—he liked it very much.

Still, a sinking feeling settled in his chest as he became acutely aware of a sense of inadequacy he hadn’t realized before. Hyunjae imagined how his old jeans and plain T-shirt, folded in a corner of the fitting room, must have looked in Nanyeong’s eyes all this time.

“Why is it taking so long? Need help? Should I come in?”

Nanyeong’s playful voice came from outside, accompanied by a knock on the fitting room door. The teasing tone made it seem like he might turn the doorknob and walk in at any moment, prompting Hyunjae to hurriedly open the door.

“All done.”

As soon as the door swung open, the look of surprise on Nanyeong’s face gradually deepened. Hyunjae found himself captivated by the subtle shifts in his expression.

“Wow…”

“Does it look okay?”

“Yeah. No need to try anything else. I like it.”

With just those few words—“I like it”—Hyunjae forgot his earlier gloominess and felt an overwhelming sense of embarrassment. Then Nanyeong turned and spoke to the seller.

“Please pack up everything I picked out earlier in his size.”

“Understood.”

It wasn’t until a moment later that Hyunjae realized Nanyeong’s words didn’t mean he wanted to try them all on but that he intended to purchase them outright. Boxes of clothes and shoes were soon stacked neatly in a corner of the room, and the staff carried the purchases down to the parking lot on their behalf.

Shopping without lifting a finger, without even glancing at the price tags. As Hyunjae sat in the car, still reeling from the series of shocks, he finally voiced the question lingering on the tip of his tongue.

“Am I dating someone way more extraordinary than I thought?”

Nanyeong responded to Hyunjae’s murmured question.

“Extraordinary? Hardly…”

Though his tone seemed self-deprecating, the slight twist of his lips carried a hint of cynicism. Watching this unexpected reaction, Hyunjae silently observed Nanyeong’s profile, hoping to glean some insight.

Noticing his gaze, Nanyeong asked, “Are you impressed by my money?”

“Not impressed—shocked.”

“That sounds like a negative take.”

The car started moving smoothly.

“What about that girl?”

Nanyeong asked out of the blue. Having long forgotten the lie he had made up, Hyunjae didn’t immediately understand what he was referring to. Tapping his fingers lightly on the steering wheel, Nanyeong elaborated.

“You said there was a kind and sweet girl you were thinking of dating.”

“…Ah.”

Hyunjae barely managed to recall and looked toward the driver’s seat.

Was it some form of jealousy? He wanted to understand what was going on in his mind.

“Can’t you show me a picture?”

“Why are you curious about a picture?”

“I’m curious about your type.”

“Would knowing that change anything?”

Nanyeong muttered with a slight frown.

“Not even worth the money I spent…”

Hyunjae studied Nanyeong’s dissatisfied expression, wondering why he was so insistent on confirming the existence of his—nonexistent—girlfriend.

“Worth the money? It’s not like this was a bribe or anything.”

“If you meet someone else wearing the clothes I bought, I’d feel a bit off.”

“That’s all?”

“Wouldn’t you?”

“Sigh…”

Hyunjae let out a long sigh without realizing it.

If he was jealous, he could just admit it. But it seemed Nanyeong couldn’t stand being in a vulnerable position. It made sense—he never clearly expressed his feelings, whether good or bad, always leaving room for interpretation. In other words, an escape route.

The reason Hyunjae didn’t honestly admit that there was no girlfriend and that he had long since been completely captivated by Nanyeong was exactly that.

“You sure have a way with words, Hyung.”

“Did I say something to deserve that?”

Nanyeong furrowed his brow slightly, as if he truly didn’t understand. Seeing his expression change, Hyunjae’s own softened as he replied.

“It’d be nice if you said things more cutely.”

Nanyeong let out a laugh, as if the idea was absurd.

“How so?”

“Like, ‘Don’t meet someone else while wearing the clothes I bought you.’”

“Ah.”

Finally understanding, Nanyeong chuckled softly, one corner of his mouth lifting.

“So that’s your type?”

“Yes.”

“That’s so cliché and childish…”

Hyunjae was at a loss for words at how dismissively he described his preferences. He fixed his sulky gaze straight ahead.

When Hyunjae’s displeasure became evident, Nanyeong seemed amused and asked, “Did you want me to act cute for you?”

“I didn’t say that outright.”

“Well, dream on. And honestly, I don’t care if I’m not your type.”

“…Then why the clothes?”

“Don’t read too much into me spending money.”

That trivial tone, as if money truly held no significance, left Hyunjae speechless. He thought to himself that someone like this would never expect a thank-you for a gift.

After a moment, Nanyeong spoke again.

“Actually, it’s not the first time I’ve heard something like that.”

“Heard what?”

“That I’m not affectionate, that I’m not endearing… ‘Who would like someone like you?’ Things like that.”

I didn’t go that far, though.

Hyunjae glanced at Nanyeong’s profile. Those words must have been judgments from people who had passed through his life. Words that would sting if they came from someone he loved.

“Even if people say that, it doesn’t matter… I’ve never tried hard to be loved. I’m not desperate for it.”

That’s a lie.

Hyunjae thought silently. Even if he said it so nonchalantly, if it truly didn’t hurt, he wouldn’t have remembered it. And if he weren’t desperate…

“Do you realize how contradictory that seems?”

“What does?”

“Someone who claims not to be desperate, clinging to someone while drunk.”

“…….”

“If you were truly indifferent, you wouldn’t even think of meeting people that way.”

At Hyunjae’s pointed remark about their first meeting, Nanyeong’s expression turned deeply bitter.

After a long silence, Nanyeong murmured softly, as if enough time had passed to erase the earlier conversation from his mind.

“Because there’s still a desire to give love.”

Hyunjae didn’t know how to respond and could only stare at Nanyeong’s profile.

For some reason, he felt as though this side of Nanyeong would stay with him forever.