CHDY 51

When he put down his chopsticks because he was full, Inha asked as if he found it strange.

“I think it’s because I was a little nervous today. I can’t seem to eat much.”

He had not eaten properly all day, so when he tried to eat, it did not go down well.

“Still, try to eat a little more. Is there anything else you want to eat? Should I go buy dessert?”

Jaeon waved his hands in refusal.

“Actually, I can’t even be bothered to chew anything right now. Don’t you have times like that?”

When he said it with a half-joking smile, Inha made a worried expression.

“No, but I really ate a lot today. It’s the most I’ve eaten these days……”

Inha’s face grew even more somber at the words meant to say there was nothing to worry about. Inha cut a piece of sweet and sour pork in half with his chopsticks and held it out to Jaeon.

“Try to eat just a little more.”

“……”

He was really full, but he had no choice and ate it. After he finished, another piece was held out to him.

Inha sighed when he refused by shaking his head to say he was full. Then Inha came up behind the hesitating Jaeon, put him between his legs, and hugged him.

The action that followed surprised Jaeon even more. He put the meat in his own mouth, chewed it a few times, and then approached Jaeon. He transferred the torn piece of meat from his mouth to Jaeon’s mouth.

“This way, you don’t have to chew.”

“……”

It was a ridiculous logic, but Jaeon was, in no time, accepting and eating what was in his mouth. Once, and then again, he sweetly chewed the meat that Inha had torn into pieces and swallowed it down his throat.

He knew it was an act that would horrify others if they saw it, but strangely, he felt no resistance. It did not feel repulsive in the slightest, and it was strange how it went down so smoothly.

“Is it delicious?”

At the question, Jaeon nodded his head. Inha smiled as if he was satisfied. He then chewed another piece of meat, passed it to Jaeon’s mouth, and watched him with a serious gaze. In the end, Jaeon ate a few more pieces of meat that way and finished his meal feeling full.

After the meal, the two of them lazed around together. They lay on the bedding and hugged each other. They smelled each other, touched each other’s hands, and exchanged meaningless, trivial words.

“……The house is too small, isn’t it.”

Jaeon asked without confidence, lightly touching Inha’s fingers.

“It’s just right. It’s cozy.”

Even with Inha’s gentle reply, his embarrassed feeling did not get any better. At first, with the thrill of reunion and the surging emotions after the confession, he had not seen anything, but now that they had finished their meal and were lying together, the shabbiness of the house came into his eyes so realistically.

The house he had lived in right before coming here had mice running around on the ceiling, but it was large. The location of the house was not this far up a hill, either.

But this place was a so-called moon village, and it was literally a cramped single-room flat. He felt sorry that they were together in a space that was not even spacious enough for one person.

Once he started to be conscious of it, everything became a concern. He was upset even by the shabbiness of the bedding, which he had not seen when he was swept up in the heat of the moment and focused on the act. Since there was no bed, they were lying together now, but it was so humble that he wondered how he could have a guest lie down in such a place.

In the midst of feeling not just shabby but even guilty about his humble living situation, Inha seemed to not have noticed any of his thoughts. He was looking only at Jaeon, as if he could not even see what was around him. He only fiddled with Jaeon, and only had Jaeon in his eyes, smiling faintly from beginning to end.

“……”

Seeing that, Jaeon suddenly felt that it was meaningless to think any further. The stray thoughts in his head disappeared, and his attention was focused only on Inha in front of him. Inha’s beauty came into his eyes, and he felt that nothing else mattered.

Jaeon kissed Inha first. Inha reacted immediately as if he had been waiting and actively entangled himself. As if what they had done earlier was not enough, they rolled around on the bedding, kissing, caressing, and sometimes giggling at mischievous pranks.

“Where, did you go today?”

Inha asked, nuzzling the nape of Jaeon’s neck. Flinching at the ticklish lips and breath, Jaeon caressed Inha’s shoulder.

“……I was looking for you, Mr. Inha.” Jaeon replied, and then asked Inha back. “Mr. Inha……” He was curious if he had been waiting here for him all day.

“I was waiting for you, Mr. Jaeon.”

“……Since when?”

“From the very beginning.”

I was always waiting for only Mr. Jaeon…… and thinking only of Mr. Jaeon.

His eyes met with Inha, who was elaborating.

Jaeon placed his hand on Inha’s shoulder. At the touch that was stroking him like a caress, the look in Inha’s eyes changed. Jaeon was engrossed in the reaction of his body, which was rising and falling with his heightened breath. The hand that was caressing his well-built body soon reached his short hair.

“……At first, I thought you were someone else.”

The strange feeling from when he first saw him still lingered a little.

“Does it not suit me?”

“That’s not it, but……”

Seeing that he could not answer readily, Inha smiled as if he understood.

“You like long hair better.”

Facing Inha, who summed it up in one sentence, Jaeon blushed. Inha playfully said that he would have to think a lot of naughty thoughts starting today and asked for help.

“Did long hair, suit me well?”

Even while feeling like he was being teased, Jaeon nodded his head.

“Like this, half-tied, it suited you well too……”

“Aha. So you liked the tied-up hair because it was pretty.”

“No, that’s not necessarily it……”

He knew full well he was joking, but he ended up replying seriously. Jaeon, who was darting his eyes here and there, not knowing what to do, suddenly blurted out a question.

“Mr. Inha, since when was it for you?”

“Pardon?”

Looking at him asking back, Jaeon became embarrassed about what he had just said. No, he was about to change the subject, but Inha rephrased the question.

“Are you asking since when I started liking you, Mr. Jaeon?”

At the explicit expression, Jaeon lowered his eyes.

“……Um……”

Inha, who was lowering his eyes as if in thought, said.

“Since I caught you when you were about to fall?”

That was their first meeting.

Jaeon was genuinely surprised that he remembered their first meeting.

He recalled the moments when he alone had been elated and then sunk, suffering in silence. The reason his face was hot was not simply because of surprise.

“Or maybe not. Was it from when you gave me the caramel?”

“……”

“Ah……, no. I think it was from when you, Mr. Jaeon, used your friend as an excuse and brought up the movie.”

With each playful remark, the color of Jaeon’s face kept changing. Inha hugged Jaeon, who could not even make eye contact and was trying to hide his face, and laughed.

“……What about you, Mr. Jaeon?”

At the following question, Jaeon wiggled the hand he had around his back.

“For me…… I think it was just from the beginning……”

“……”

“From the first meeting, you helped me, and after that, I kept thinking only of you, Mr. Inha……. And every time I saw you, you always treated me so warmly……. I just…… I don’t know. I was always waiting all day for Mr. Inha to come, and things like that……”

“And things like that……?”

Inha urged him on, in a tone that said he wanted to hear more.

Jaeon, who was about to continue the embarrassing story, closed his mouth. A thought suddenly came to his mind that he had to clear up the misunderstanding that existed within this relationship.

He had tried to hide it for fear that Inha might feel guilty when he learned the truth, but it suddenly occurred to him that the misunderstanding might actually torment Inha more. And the thought that he himself did not want to remain misunderstood also grew stronger.

“……Actually, there’s one thing I haven’t been able to tell you, Mr. Inha.”

Jaeon, facing him, carefully began.

“I hope you don’t get upset or anything after you hear it.”

Inha, seeing the now serious Jaeon, seemed to have realized something. Inha sat up, and he made Jaeon sit up as well.

Jaeon hesitated a few times before starting his story.

“Um, back then, the day we were supposed to watch the movie, about what happened the day before that……”

While explaining the situation, he glossed over the violent parts as much as possible. However, he tried to convey how urgent the situation was, and why he had no choice but to make such a choice.

He added that in retrospect, he regretted it as a foolish choice. But he expressed that at that time, he had no other choice, and that it was no one’s fault in the unavoidable flow of events.

Inha, who had been quiet throughout the story, was silent even after it ended. He just hugged Jaeon and rested his forehead on his shoulder. He stayed still for a long time without a sound.

“What’s wrong……?”

When Jaeon tried to push his shoulder to see his face, he hugged him even more tightly.

“How can you not hate me?”