BITM Ch15

“Our house code is the last four digits of my phone number.”

Jin said this nonchalantly, as if it were nothing significant.

Han Naeyung watched Jin’s car recede into the distance, still holding Nari’s leash. He kept looking until the car disappeared from sight, then turned toward the animal hospital. The thought of going home to get some more sleep was quickly dismissed. Instead, he fished the clinic’s keys out of his coat pocket.

When he opened the door and released the leash, Nari began exploring the space with her tongue hanging out, as if it were her own home. Most animals dislike being in a hospital, but Nari, like her owner, was an exception. Han Naeyung prepped a syringe with a comprehensive vaccine and called her over.

Despite noticing the syringe, Nari came running over happily. After relaxing her muscles, he administered the injection. She tilted her head, seemingly curious. Did something just poke me? she seemed to wonder. Han Naeyung chuckled, but soon, a wave of sadness swept over him. Compared to the pain she must have endured in the fighting pits, a vaccine shot was nothing.

“You’re such a peculiar person, aren’t you…”

For some reason, Jin felt like someone who could save not just Nari, but himself as well.

“I like you, Dr. Han.”

When he confessed, when they shared breakfast at Jin’s place, and when their bodies intertwined… Thinking about him only made Han Naeyung want to let go of everything. He had built up such a tolerance that even sleeping pills barely worked anymore. No matter how physically exhausted he was, peaceful sleep was rare. Yet in Jin’s embrace, where he felt cocooned, even happy dreams returned.

But if he let go now, who would right the injustice of Jaemin’s death? He had promised himself to remember the twin the world had forgotten. Until the day he died, he vowed.

He wanted to push Jin away.

He wanted to share warmth, just like any ordinary couple.

An empty bed felt too cold.

But Jin’s bed was irresistibly warm.

Conflicting emotions battled within him. The answer was clear, but his heart was adrift. He had to patch up the cracks again. But emotions weren’t something he could control. They surged unexpectedly, like sudden bursts of hatred.

Han Naeyung hugged the dog that was nudging against him in consolation. The faint glow of dawn gave way to a deeper blue light filtering through the blinds. Even with his eyes closed, sleep wouldn’t come.

* * *

Jin continued to drop off Nari at the animal hospital multiple times afterward. He admitted that it was merely a convenient excuse to see Han Naeyung.

Perhaps because bull terriers are a rare breed, many visitors to the hospital were charmed by Nari. The dog, enjoying the attention, wagged her tail like a helicopter every time.

One morning, Han Naeyung picked up Nari in his arms but quickly set her down again. He was already carrying a large shopping bag, and holding both was too much. Jin, of course, would’ve effortlessly scooped Nari under one arm.

He secured Nari’s leash and descended the stairs together. For the past three days, Jin hadn’t visited, so Han Naeyung had taken care of Nari in his place. Judging by their recent messages, Jin seemed extremely busy.

The air grew milder, signaling the end of winter. Han Naeyung considered taking Nari for a walk around the neighborhood before heading home, but the shopping bag’s weight dissuaded him. He made his way directly to a vacant lot behind the building.

Cars rarely parked there had collected layers of dust and unmelted snow. Han Naeyung retrieved a scraper and removed the frost from the car windows. As he cleared the snow from the front and back, Nari trotted along beside him.

When he opened the passenger door, Nari leapt inside immediately, leaving wet paw prints on the leather seat. It took a while for the old car engine to warm up.

As he pressed the accelerator, the engine struggled to come to life. The car was an old model he had received as a gift when he entered college—far from a modern vehicle. Jin’s sleek sedan came to mind. Wouldn’t it be uncomfortable driving something like that under constant scrutiny? A trivial thought, but one he found himself entertaining.

Shaking his head, Han Naeyung focused on driving toward his destination: Sarangwon.

The slippery roads made for a stop-and-go ride, which seemed to unnerve Nari. She glanced around anxiously, and Han Naeyung reached out to scratch her neck to reassure her. While not a skilled driver, he was good enough that Nari didn’t need to worry.

Once at the orphanage’s parking lot, he grabbed the shopping bag and stepped out. Leaving Nari in the car, he shut the door, but she pressed her face to the window, tongue flicking. Her claws scratched at the glass until he had no choice but to grab her leash.

Nari sniffed around curiously, following close behind as they entered the orphanage. With the school term approaching, the place was quiet except for a few children. The director was in the yard, raking.

“Hello, Director.”

“Oh, Brother! What brings you here at this hour?”

Han Naeyung greeted him with a polite bow and walked over. At the edge of the yard, a large mixed-breed dog wagged its tail enthusiastically.

“It’s nothing much, but please accept this.”

Inside the shopping bag were dog food, treats, and bath shampoo.

“And this as well.”

Han Naeyung took a white envelope out of his pocket.

“Oh dear, you don’t need to do this. Just coming here for your missionary work is already more than enough. How could I possibly accept?”

“I have a favor to ask, Director.”

“A favor?”

The director’s expression filled with unease as he asked, clearly curious about Han Naeyung’s intentions rather than distrusting them.

“I have an acquaintance in the police force, and I was wondering if I could help in any way.”

“If that’s the case, then by all means! Please come inside, and I’ll prepare the documents for you. This way.”

“No, that’s alright. While I’m here, I’d like to take a look at that dog first.”

Han Naeyung gestured toward the kennel, offering to give the dog a check-up.

“Oh, I’d appreciate that very much! I’ll go ahead and get the documents ready.”

“Thank you.”

Once the director went inside, Han Naeyung removed his gloves and walked to the far end of the yard. The dog, with a mix of gray and brown fur, appeared to be a cross between a Jindo and a Sapsaree.

Nari, wagging her tail, seemed interested in the mixed-breed dog. Luckily, the dog showed no aggressive tendencies, so Han Naeyung brought her closer. Already accustomed to human interaction, the mixed-breed greeted Han Naeyung warmly.

Its ears were clean, and its mucous membranes showed no signs of impurities, indicating that the dog was as healthy as Nari. Watching the two dogs playfully nudge each other, they looked just like children. Han Naeyung straightened up from his crouch.

“Brother.”

Turning around, he saw the director motioning to him. Han Naeyung secured Nari’s leash to the same post as before and headed toward the building entrance. He slipped his gloves back on and took off his shoes to avoid drawing attention.

“Excluding those who have returned, I’ve included the ones who were officially reported missing. There are five in total.”

In the director’s office, Han Naeyung received several documents.

“I hope they’re doing well… Could anything have happened to them?”

“I hope not as well.”

The runaways were all around 16 years old or older, an age where leaving home might seem plausible. But something felt off. This shouldn’t be happening if he’s around. His grip on the papers tightened involuntarily.

“Since you’re here, why don’t you stay for breakfast before heading back?”

“No, that’s alright. I should be going soon.”

“Oh, you’re here! I heard you had arrived, Brother, and came out immediately.”

A man with a beaming face appeared, wiping his hands on his apron. At that moment, Han Naeyung’s shoulders stiffened. He quickly masked his reaction with a calm demeanor and greeted him. He hadn’t expected Jang Joontae to be here on a weekday morning.

“It’s truly heartwarming to see you doing such good deeds in secret.”

“Likewise, Evangelist.”

“Oh, I’m just here every couple of days, helping out in exchange for a meal.”

“Evangelist Jang’s humility is always commendable.”

Han Naeyung let out a low chuckle, carefully keeping both corners of his mouth in check.

“By the way, what’s that?”

Jang Joontae gestured toward the documents in Han Naeyung’s hands.

“Brother here must have quite the connections. He said he knows someone in the police force and offered to help find the runaways. Isn’t that wonderful?”

Han Naeyung fixed his gaze on Jang Joontae. His delight at the words seemed genuine, with no hint of the unease that should have surfaced even for a moment.

“How generous of you. Come inside and have a meal with us.”

“No, thank you. I have business to attend to and should be going.”

Han Naeyung took a step back, putting distance between himself and Jang Joontae, who seemed inclined to escort him out. Jang Joontae’s gaze flickered to the documents before settling back on Han Naeyung’s face with a deep, knowing smile. Han Naeyung returned his stare, expressionless.

His mind worked rapidly, analyzing Jang Joontae’s habits. One of his frequent haunts was Sarangwon. He calculated the distance between the church and the orphanage. Even without a pinky finger, driving wasn’t impossible, so he factored the use of a personal vehicle into his scenarios.

“Haha, is there something on my face?”

Han Naeyung watched as Jang Joontae let out an awkward chuckle under his gaze.

“You resemble… someone I know,” Han Naeyung replied calmly, tucking the folded documents into his coat pocket.

“I don’t believe we’ve met before. If I had ever seen someone as handsome as you, Brother, I’m sure I would have remembered.”

In due time, he would remember. Sin is like a buried corpse; the longer it remains underground, the more pungent its stench becomes. The filthy aura lingering around Jang Joontae proved this truth.

“I’ll be going now. Take care.”

Han Naeyung quickly turned away to avoid being followed. He didn’t hear footsteps behind him as he walked toward where Nari was.

A sharp yelp broke his thoughts, causing him to lift his head from the ground.

“Perhaps it’s because of her past as a fighting dog, but she doesn’t get along well with other dogs,” Jin’s voice suddenly crossed his mind.

Hoping his suspicions were unfounded, Han Naeyung hurried to check on the two dogs. Nari was mounting the mixed-breed dog that lived at Sarangwon.

Nari was pressing her paws down on the other dog’s back and gnawing gently at its scruff. Han Naeyung quickly picked Nari up. Thankfully, it hadn’t been an attack. He sighed with relief as he gently petted the mixed-breed dog.

In his arms, Nari had already calmed down and was now smacking her lips. Placing Nari in the car, Han Naeyung sat in the driver’s seat, resting his forehead against the steering wheel as he organized his thoughts. If all the information turned out to be wrong, there was only one course of action.

He pictured the neatly lined-up vials in Jin’s lab. Being excluded from the investigation meant there was less risk involved. The thought of it made his stomach churn, as though blood was seeping out of fractured intestines. The hatred that surged every time he saw that man was becoming harder to suppress.

“What are you doing? It’s your turn this time. Are you going to let it slip away again?”

Jaemin whispered. No, Jaemin wouldn’t say something like that. It was merely a hallucination he had conjured.

Clenching the steering wheel tightly, Han Naeyung raised his head. Jang Joontae was standing in front of the building, staring in his direction with narrowed eyes, like a snake observing its prey.

As Han Naeyung’s car passed by, Jang Joontae waved, the stump of his severed pinky finger flickering briefly in his line of sight.

* * *

“Doctor, why does Nari seem so down today?”

Having been interrupted while trying to assert dominance over the mixed-breed dog, Nari was visibly dejected. Usually the clinic’s unofficial mascot, she now sulked like an old woman nearing the end of her days. She had seemed fine at the time, but…

“…She’s in heat.”

“Oh, this girl. Always so spirited. Well, it’s just nature, isn’t it? Right, Nari?”

Lee Seolhwa playfully shook Nari’s face.

“What does her owner plan to do?”

“I’ll have to ask him.”

Nari’s owner was Jin. It would be up to him to decide whether to have Nari spayed or allow her to mate.

As soon as Han Naeyung opened the clinic doors, he received a message from Jin, saying he would stop by around closing time today. Judging from his unusually husky voice, Jin sounded exhausted and was unlikely to arrive on time.

As expected, Jin arrived past 8 PM. Hurrying in, he smiled at Han Naeyung at the desk, as he always did. Even though her owner had arrived, Nari remained sulky, slowly walking over to nuzzle her head against Jin’s leg before flopping onto the floor.

“What’s this new kind of protest?”

Jin looked at Nari, who let out a long sigh. Jin cleared his throat before speaking again.

“She’s in heat.”

Jin chuckled briefly, patted Nari’s head, and closed the window blinds.

“I’m not in great shape either, so I guess Nari and I are in the same boat.”

“…”

Jin approached the desk and looked at Han Naeyung in his lab coat.

“I think I might be coming down with a cold. Could you take a look at me?”

“If you’re unwell, you should visit a regular clinic, not a veterinary hospital.”

“And yet, how do I look?”

Jin suddenly leaned in, catching Han Naeyung off guard. His unexpected proximity made Han Naeyung inhale sharply, filling his lungs with Jin’s sweet scent. He had noticed this fragrance ever since Jin entered.

“You should start by cutting down on smoking,” Han Naeyung finally said as he exhaled.

Jin grabbed his arm with a gloved hand and tugged it firmly. Faint traces of tobacco clung to his touch.

Han Naeyung neither embraced nor pushed Jin away, simply letting his hands hang awkwardly. They had shared intimacy before—sex and kisses—but the simple act of hugging left him feeling utterly immobile.

Jin, amused by Han Naeyung’s stiff reaction, playfully hugged him tightly before letting go. Nari sluggishly made her way between them and plopped onto the floor.

“So that’s why she’s been tugging at my arm lately,” Jin said, glancing at his forearm with mild exasperation.

“If you’re considering spaying her—”

“Is that like circumcision?”

“No, it’s more like sterilization.”

Jin frowned.

“You mean removing her reproductive organs?”

“Yes,” Han Naeyung replied, his voice barely audible.

“That’s brutal. What happens if we don’t spay her?”

“We have no choice but to address it appropriately whenever they mate or go into heat.”

Although there are cases where humans assist manually, that wasn’t mentioned. Instead, only the stress and diseases that can arise from not performing neutering were explained.

“Hmm, I guess it’s necessary.”

“Then I’ll go ahead and schedule the surgery.”

Han Naeyung typed something on the computer at the desk. Matters related to surgery schedules were entirely entrusted to Lee Seolhwa. Jin, who had left Nari on the sofa, sat with arms crossed.

“Dr. Han.”

“…Yes.”

Han Naeyung turned off the computer and stepped out from the desk.

“This is odd. Could I be in heat too?”

Jin, sitting on the sofa, gave Han Naeyung a sly look. Naeyung blinked a few times, giving the impression he wasn’t opposed to being looked at that way.

“Shall we try holding hands today?”

He extended his hand, as if inviting their fingers to interlace.

“Without the gloves.”

Jin suddenly grabbed Naeyung’s wrist, pulling him down so they ended up face-to-face on the sofa. With surprising skill, Jin undid three buttons of Naeyung’s shirt beneath his coat, slipping his hand inside without giving him a chance to react. Naeyung flinched at the cold touch of Jin’s gloves.

“…Prosecutor.”

The word was nearly whispered. Jin lowered his lips, kissing Naeyung’s neck and moving down to his collarbone. Meanwhile, Naeyung blinked awkwardly, staring at the ceiling. Jin, glancing up at Naeyung’s face, broke the kiss.

“Doctor Han, have you had circumcision?”

“…What?”

It was an out-of-the-blue question.

“I noticed before; it looked neatly done, so I wondered which doctor performed it.”

Jin teased, running his hand along Naeyung’s thigh.

“I… don’t really remember.”

“I haven’t had it done.”

Oh, is that so.

Naeyung’s lips parted slightly. He already knew what Jin looked like when aroused. He wasn’t like Hyungtae, whose foreskin covered the glans like that of an animal. Jin guided Naeyung’s hand to touch him.

It was already hard.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“It’s nothing…”

Jin undid another button on his shirt, as if he knew exactly what was on Naeyung’s mind.

“Do I look like I’ve had it done?”

He said this while pulling down his zipper.

“It peeled back naturally as I grew. They call this natural circumcision, don’t they?”

As Jin’s smooth hand wrapped around it, the shaft twitched, growing even larger. Naeyung unconsciously licked his lips. Being with Jin made desire rise quickly.

Watching Jin remove his leather gloves, Naeyung’s gaze softened. The warmth of Jin’s hands on his chest and the familiar breath against his skin made his eyes close instinctively. He couldn’t push him away as Jin slid closer.

Just for today—only for today. He repeated this silently to himself.

* * *

One afternoon. It was an unexpected visit.

A man dressed in a deep brown cashmere coat and a stylish fedora surveyed the animal hospital as if inspecting it. Responding politely to Lee Seolhwa’s greeting, he continued scanning from the floor to the windows and even the medical equipment before approaching the desk.

‘He doesn’t have a pet with him, and he’s just wandering around—how odd.’

Lee Seolhwa thought this but maintained her smile.

“Is Dr. Han Naeyung here?”

“Our doctor? May I ask the purpose of your visit?”

“My name is Han Sungwon. If you tell the doctor my name, he will know who I am.”

The man’s overly formal demeanor almost made Lee Seolhwa instinctively snap to attention.

“One moment, please. Have a seat on the sofa. Would you like a drink while you wait?”

“No, thank you.”

His speech was stiff and slow, reminiscent of someone she couldn’t quite place. Tilting her head in thought, she headed toward the examination room. Since there was already a patient inside, she didn’t knock and waited for them to come out.

Not long after, the door opened. Smiling at the guest holding a white rabbit, Lee Seolhwa then called for the doctor.

“Doctor.”

Her voice was low enough for only them to hear. Han Naeyung paused as he was about to remove his gloves.

“Someone named Han Sungwon is here to see you.”

At her words, Han Naeyung immediately stood up, a flicker of thought flashing briefly in his eyes. Nari trotted behind him as he stepped out of the examination room.

“You’re here.”

Naeyung greeted Han Sungwon, his father, who was sitting on the sofa.

“Yes, Naeyung. It’s been a while.”

Han Sungwon smiled warmly at his son.

“Please, step inside.”

Naeyung cleared the hallway to let his father into the room. Removing his fedora, the elder man walked with a steady stride into the consultation room. Naeyung turned to bid farewell to the rabbit’s owner while waiting for Lee Seolhwa to complete the payment process.

Sensing the situation, Seolhwa asked first.

“Should I move the next appointment back?”

“Yes, this may take a while.”