BITM Ch19

“Why don’t they leave him alone? He barely found his mom, so why make them separate again?” Jaemin couldn’t understand my tearful sorrow, and today was no different.

“Jaemin.”

“Yes, hyung?”

Jaemin’s eyes were glued to the TV.

“Could you live apart from me?”

“Apart?”

“We’d each go to a different home to live.”

“No way!”

Jaemin jumped up.

“I don’t want to!”

I quickly covered his mouth as he screamed.

“Shh, you’ll get in trouble if you make noise.”

I whispered, glancing around. The director and the teachers were nowhere in sight, and the kids were still engrossed in the TV. Jaemin struggled and glared at me, like a child who feared being separated from his Hyung right that moment.

“Umin, what are you talking about?”

I hiccuped at the voice from above. Relieved, I looked up and saw our tall hyung, who sat down in front of us.

“What do you mean, living in different homes?”

“No! I don’t want to! Mmph!”

I covered Jaemin’s mouth again.

“Jaemin, just watch the cartoon. Hyung was kidding.”

Hyung rummaged in his pocket and handed Jaemin a candy. Jaemin reluctantly sucked on the candy and then crawled back to the TV. I leaned against the cold wall and drew my knees closer.

“Who told you that?”

Hyung asked.

“They said we’ve found adoptive parents, but they’re different people. Jaemin and I have to go separately.”

“The director told you that?”

“Yeah. I saw the man and woman too.”

“Do they seem like bad people?”

“They didn’t smell mean.”

“Smell? There you go again.”

Hyung laughed and patted my head.

“Hyung, I don’t want to be separated from Jaemin.”

I looked beyond the flowers into the world. Hyung aligned his gaze with mine.

“I don’t want you to go either.”

I looked up at him with my chin resting on my knees. Hyung poked my cheek gently.

“If anything happens, you tell me right away, okay?”

He put a candy in my mouth. I nodded to my reliable hyung.

***

He felt stifled. He seemed to have sweated quite a bit. Han Naeyung tried to raise his arm to wipe his forehead but couldn’t move. Someone was hugging him tightly, wrapping him in the blanket.

Relaxing his tense body, Han Naeyung looked ahead. Jin, breathing evenly, was there. Completely naked, Jin was hugging him like a cocoon, serving as his blanket.

It had been a long time since he had such a dream. Nightmares came uninvited at any time, but dreams of the happier times were rare. As he shifted with a sense of regret, Jin’s hold tightened.

Jin’s breath made the hair on his forehead rustle. Did Jin’s breath make him dream? Suddenly, something blunt poked the back of his head. Startled, he flinched, and Jin spoke in a sleepy voice.

“Are you awake?”

“…Yes.”

“You were sleeping so soundly that I didn’t wake you.”

He released the arms and legs that had been holding Han Naeyung. The object that had poked Han Naeyung’s head was none other than Nari’s nose. Jin reached for his phone, squinting at the screen as he checked the time.

“It’s about time to wake up anyway.”

He rubbed his eyes, trying to shake off the sleepiness. It was still 5 a.m., but Han Naeyung sat up as well. Nari, excited from the early morning, wagged her tail and trotted around on the bed.

Han Naeyung’s lower body ached all over. He sat still for a moment. Jin, who had turned on the bedside lamp, put a cigarette in his mouth. He must have done it out of old habit, as he was still half-asleep. This action, however, woke him up fully, and he quickly put the cigarette away.

Under the soft light, Han Naeyung blinked slowly, his eyelids opening and closing repeatedly. Jin watched him silently.

Just like that night under the streetlamp, Han Naeyung possessed something that captivated people.

“A mentor of mine once said that beautiful things have poison, and desirable things have traps. So, I learned to stay away from things that are too beautiful.”

It was before he had entered the orphanage, when he was so young he couldn’t even remember the name of his neighborhood. Jin had heard tales about a ghost haunting the area. Unlike the traditional image, this ghost wore a white silk dress and was so beautiful that people followed her in a trance. There was even an incident where two local men, who claimed to have seen the ghost, committed suicide in the forest.

After that, the forest was fenced off to keep people out. Jin had once seen a woman inside the fence and thought she looked more like a fairy than a ghost. Of course, he was too young to remember clearly.

Even if the person before him was a ghost, Jin wouldn’t have minded. Even if following them in a trance led to his death, it didn’t matter. Before that, he wanted to make Han Naeyung happy. He wanted to see him smile more often.

“In short, it’s advice to live like a monk, but I failed at that from the start.”

Jin suddenly pushed Han Naeyung down. The impact startled Nari, who jumped off the bed.

“Do you believe me when I say I’m so excited that even if there was a knife under this pillow, I wouldn’t care?”

He pressed his now-hard shaft against Han Naeyung’s genitals and scrotum.

“A knife…?”

Han Naeyung let out a soft moan and asked, “A knife…?”

Jin, showing his open hand, gave a different answer. “I want to touch you.”

When Han Naeyung nodded, Jin kissed him lightly on the chin. Jin’s stubble, grown overnight, could not be seen but was felt against Han Naeyung’s skin. Jin lifted Han Naeyung’s semi-erect penis up high.

He gently massaged Han Naeyung’s scrotum, then moved his hand down to touch his opening. Han Naeyung gasped, and Jin’s tongue entered his open mouth. At the same time, his fingers penetrated Han Naeyung, curling to stretch him.

Thanks to the previous night’s activities, Han Naeyung’s insides were already loosened and very warm. Jin lifted Han Naeyung’s legs together, exposing his opening. Jin then grabbed his own shaft, wet with pre-cum, and pushed it into the opening. A wet sound marked the entry of Jin’s large glans.

“Ugh!”

“Does it hurt?”

“…A little.”

Han Naeyung’s answer was almost an affirmation. When their bodies were closely connected like this, Han Naeyung quickly became aroused. Jin didn’t hold back from the beginning, exploring every part of the hot interior.

“Han Naeyung.”

“Ah… yes!”

Jin murmured against Han Naeyung’s neck, his voice low and husky as his thrusts grew more intense. “Later… even if it’s much later, tell me. Anything.”

Han Naeyung could only moan in response, unable to say anything coherent. Jin also fell silent, moving fiercely within him.

The previously dry walls inside Han Naeyung became wet and slick. Han Naeyung reached out and grabbed Jin’s shoulders. Feeling Han Naeyung’s weak grip, Jin held him tightly and lifted him up.

As their torsos pressed together, Han Naeyung’s body tensed. The tight grip around Jin’s penis seemed to pull him in even deeper. Jin, still sitting, thrust upwards into Han Naeyung. The blanket fell to the floor, and the sheets were disheveled and messy.

The weight deepened their union. Han Naeyung’s penis rubbed against Jin’s abdomen, and spurts of semen shot out, splattering Jin’s chest and trickling down. Jin increased his pace, gripping Han Naeyung’s buttocks firmly. Just before climax, Jin withdrew his shaft.

Supporting Han Naeyung with one hand as he leaned back, Jin grasped his own member with the other. His semen shot out vigorously, splashing onto Han Naeyung’s body. 

As the semen spurted several times, Jin rubbed his penis against Han Naeyung’s smooth thigh. Looking down at Han Naeyung with a slightly furrowed brow, Jin felt a rush of raw emotion that made Han Naeyung’s face flush with heat. 

Slowly, Han Naeyung raised his hand to touch Jin’s forehead. The sweat on Jin’s warm skin felt cool.

“You can touch me all you want,” Jin said, guiding Han Naeyung’s wrist to his cheek.

“It’s warm…” Han Naeyung murmured. Jin deliberately brushed his lips against Han Naeyung’s wrist. Encouraged by Han Naeyung’s stillness, Jin continued to rub his lips there several times.

“We should get going… right?” Han Naeyung finally withdrew his wrist after a long while. Jin, showing clear disappointment, checked his phone again.

“There’s plenty of time for breakfast before we leave. Can you shower?” Jin asked.

“…Yes,” Han Naeyung replied, sitting up on the edge of the bed. At the foot of the bed, Nari was gnawing on the edge of the blanket. Jin pulled the sheet off and draped it over his arm. When he took the blanket from Nari, the dog dangled from it.

“She’s sulking because we didn’t give her any attention,” Jin said, transferring the blanket to his side and lifting Nari into Han Naeyung’s arms. It was too late to prevent Jin’s semen from getting on Nari’s fur. Han Naeyung felt a pang of guilt but enjoyed the soft feel of the dog’s fur against his bare skin. He held Nari carefully.

Jin looked at Han Naeyung and Nari in turn. The combination of the dazedly blinking beauty and the scruffy dog oddly suited each other.

“Are you sure you can shower? Or should I—” Jin began.

“I’ll wash Nari too,” Han Naeyung said, standing up with the dog still in his arms. Despite being worryingly thin, Han Naeyung was always determined. Jin knew that pressing further would only seem forceful.

“Alright, you two go shower together,” Jin said.

By now, Nari had cheered up and was panting in Han Naeyung’s arms.

***

Jin prepared a simple breakfast of salad and sandwiches. While Han Naeyung ate one piece, Jin devoured four. Nari, now smelling of dog shampoo, munched on her kibble.

They left the house a little after 7 AM, with Nari in Han Naeyung’s lap in the passenger seat. They needed to get her vaccinations.

“I might not be able to pick you up until late tonight. Is that alright?” Jin asked.

“…” Han Naeyung couldn’t bring himself to suggest that they take her home right after the shot.

“Or you could wait at my place after work,” Jin offered.

“…No, that’s fine,” Han Naeyung replied. Jin thought it would be nice if Han Naeyung could be as straightforward as he was during sex.

When they reached the animal hospital, Jin slowed down. It felt like they were reluctant lovers about to part. While Han Naeyung might not feel the same, Jin certainly did. Glancing at Han Naeyung, their eyes met.

Han Naeyung hadn’t expected Jin to look at him and couldn’t look away in time. His lips, redder and plumper from the night’s activities, stood out.

“I like you, Han Naeyung,” Jin said. 

It was something he could have said while they were in bed together, but he hadn’t. He wanted to see Han Naeyung’s reaction in a moment not driven by pleasure or impulse.

“…”

Han Naeyung bit his red lips. He seemed both troubled and on the verge of refusing. If Jin said he hoped Han Naeyung liked him too, Han Naeyung would surely run away. The situation was clear without needing to see.

“I didn’t expect an answer. I just wanted to say it,” Jin said, laughing heartily to show he didn’t mind.

“…Prosecutor,” Han Naeyung began, but Jin interrupted.

“Have a good day,” Jin said, unbuckling Han Naeyung’s seatbelt for him. He also opened the door, and the scent of Jin’s skin brushed close to Han Naeyung’s cheek. Wanting to inhale more deeply, Han Naeyung deliberately looked only outside as he set Nari down.

“By the way,” Jin’s voice called from behind.

“My house’s password is the last digits of my phone number,” Jin added cheekily, as if it was just another casual remark.

Han Naeyung, holding Nari’s leash, watched Jin’s car until it disappeared from view. After it was gone, he turned towards the animal hospital. He abandoned the idea of going back home for more sleep. Fumbling in his coat pocket, he retrieved the hospital key.

When he unlocked the door and released Nari from her leash, she roamed around as if she owned the place. Most animals disliked hospitals, but Nari seemed to enjoy it as much as her owner did. Han Naeyung filled a syringe with the comprehensive vaccine and called Nari over.

Even seeing the syringe, Nari happily ran to him. After loosening Nari’s muscles, he administered the shot. She tilted her head, as if wondering what had just pricked her. Han Naeyung chuckled, then felt a wave of sadness. The pain from the dogfighting ring could never compare to a simple injection.

“What a peculiar person… isn’t he?” Han Naeyung mused. For some reason, Jin seemed capable of saving him just as he had saved Nari.

“I like you, Han Naeyung.”

When Jin had confessed, during breakfast at his house, and even when they had been intimate… Han Naeyung wanted to let everything go whenever he thought of Jin. He had become so resistant to sleeping pills that they no longer worked. Despite his exhaustion, he rarely had a restful night. Yet, in Jin’s arms, he had even dreamt nostalgically.

Even so, who would seek justice for Jaemin’s unjust death if he gave up now? He had vowed to remember his other half, whom everyone else had forgotten. This vow was to last until his death.

He wanted to distance himself from Jin.

He wanted to share warmth in intimate moments.

His empty bed was too cold.

Jin’s bed was irresistibly warm.

Conflicting emotions battled within him. The answer was already clear, yet his feelings spilled over. Once they had, he had to patch up the holes again. But these emotions couldn’t be controlled at will. They emerged suddenly, like a burst of hatred.

Han Naeyung hugged the dog, who comforted him as he groaned. The dim dawn light gave way to navy-blue sunlight filtering through the blinds. Despite closing his eyes, he couldn’t sleep.

***

Jin continued to leave Nari at the animal hospital several more times. He said it was a convenient excuse to see Han Naeyung.

Maybe because Bull Terriers are rare, many of the hospital’s visitors took a liking to Nari. Nari enjoyed the attention, wagging her tail energetically like a helicopter each time.

Han Naeyung bent to pick up Nari at the entrance but had to put her down again due to the large shopping bag he was carrying. Jin always hoisted Nari up with ease. In the end, Han Naeyung leashed Nari and led her down the stairs. Jin hadn’t visited in the past three days, so Han Naeyung had taken care of Nari. Judging by their earlier messages, Jin seemed incredibly busy.

The air in the early mornings felt different each day, signaling winter’s end. Though Han Naeyung considered taking Nari for a walk before bringing her inside, the shopping bag was too heavy. So, he headed straight to the empty lot behind the building.

Dust and unmelted snow were piled thickly on the rarely used car. Han Naeyung took out a booklet from inside the car and scraped off the frost on the window. While shoveling snow back and forth, Nari trotted along beside Han Naeyung.

As soon as the passenger door opened, Nari jumped in, as if she’d been waiting. Wet paw prints stained the leather seat. It took quite a while for the dormant engine to heat up.

When Han Naeyung stepped on the accelerator, the engine groaned reluctantly. The car, a gift when entering university, was an old model, far from the latest designs. Now that he thought about it, Jin’s car was a sedan. It crossed his mind, perhaps insignificantly, whether it would be burdensome to drive around considering the looks from higher-ups. Han Naeyung inwardly scolded himself for even having such trivial thoughts and steered the wheel. His destination was “Sarangwon.”

As the car stopped and started on the slippery road, Nari’s pupils darted around nervously. Han Naeyung reassured her, scratching the back of her neck. Though not a skilled driver, it wasn’t bad enough to worry Nari that much.

After parking the car in the orphanage lot, Han Naeyung got out carrying a shopping bag. Leaving Nari behind, he closed the car door, and she licked the window and scratched it with her claws, forcing him to take her on the leash.

Nari followed Han Naeyung, sniffing around curiously in the new environment. With the school term starting, only a few children were visible, making the orphanage seem deserted. The director was in the yard, brushing the ground.

“Hello, Director.”

“Oh, Hyung! What brings you here so early?”

Han Naeyung bowed and approached the director. A large mixed-breed dog wagged its tail at the far end of the yard.

“Please accept this, it’s nothing special.”

The shopping bag contained dog food, treats, and bathing shampoo.

“And this too.”

He took out a white envelope from his pocket.

“Oh my, you don’t have to do this. We’re already grateful for your missionary visits.”

“I have a favor to ask, Director.”

“A favor?”

The director, filled with apologies, asked curiously.

“I’d like to see the list of runaway children.”

The director’s face instantly showed reluctance. He wasn’t hiding anything, but he seemed curious about Han Naeyung’s intentions.

“A friend of mine is in the police force, and I thought I might be able to help.”

“If that’s the case, it’s more than welcome! Please come inside, and I’ll get the documents for you. This way.”

“No, I’d like to check on that dog first before going in.”

Han Naeyung pointed to the doghouse, offering to do a check-up.

“I’d be grateful if you could. I’ll go inside and prepare the documents.”

“Yes, please.”

After the director went inside, Han Naeyung took off his gloves and walked to the end of the yard. The dog, with a mix of gray and brown fur, appeared to be a crossbreed between a Jindo and a Sapsaree.

Nari showed interest in the mixed-breed dog, who fortunately didn’t display any aggressive behavior, so Han Naeyung brought her along. The dog, already accustomed to human touch, was friendly towards Han Naeyung as well.

The dog’s inner ears were clean, and its mucous membranes showed no impurities, indicating it was as healthy as Nari. The sight of the two dogs playfully tussling, looking like children, brought a smile to Han Naeyung’s face. He straightened up from his crouch.

“Hyung.”

When he turned around, the director was gesturing to him. Han Naeyung tied Nari’s leash to a stake and headed towards the building entrance. He put on his gloves and removed his shoes to avoid being conspicuous.

“Aside from those who have returned, there are five children for whom missing reports have been filed.”

In the director’s office, Han Naeyung received several documents.

“I hope they’re living well… I hope nothing has happened to them.”

“I hope so too.”

The runaway children were mostly around 16 years old, an age where they might choose to run away on their own. It was strange. With him around, this shouldn’t be happening. His grip on the papers tightened involuntarily.

“Since you’re here, why not stay for breakfast?”

“No, thank you. I need to get back soon.”

“Hyung! I heard you were here and rushed out.”

A man with a beaming face came out, wiping his hands on an apron. At that moment, Han Naeyung’s shoulders tensed. He quickly composed himself and greeted. He hadn’t expected to run into Jang Jun-tae on a weekday morning.

“Your quiet acts of kindness bring us so much joy.”