BITM Ch12

“Doctor.”

“Yes.”

As he responded, snowflakes found their way onto his lips. The cooling sensation was refreshing.

“Do you want to hold hands?”

Jin pulled his hand out of his pocket and showed it. Han Naeyung shook his head without lifting his face.

“No, I don’t.”

“Don’t you need a support? There’s someone here who can make your life a bit easier.”

Han Naeyung let out a small laugh.

“You don’t even know why I’m holding on.”

“I do. To survive.”

Han Naeyung stopped walking. When he looked up, snowflakes fell and melted on his long eyelashes. The snow at his feet had turned orange. Ahead lay an untouched expanse of white snow.

The narrow alley was so secluded that even during the day, few people walked there. The streetlight made it seem brighter now than in daylight. Despite the surrounding darkness, that one streetlight lit up the area.

“Prosecutor Jin.”

“Go on.”

“If you’re approaching me out of curiosity…”

“I already told you, it’s because I find you beautiful.”

“There are many beautiful people.”

“My preferences are quite specific. I like someone who speaks little, has a beautiful face, and is shy. Exactly like you, Doctor.”

“…”

Han Naeyung sighed softly and stepped on the snow again. Whether it was because of the orange hue or the evenly spread snow, his steps wavered slightly. It was a small tremor, not enough to need someone’s support.

“Are you drunk?”

“No, I’m not.”

“Your face is red.”

“Because of the alcohol…”

Jin laughed, saying Han Naeyung was surprisingly straightforward.

“What do you think about me?”

“…You don’t look drunk.”

Han Naeyung answered while looking down at his feet. Jin suddenly blocked his path and leaned in.

“How can you tell without looking?”

Crunch, Han Naeyung took a step back. Jin closed the gap with a single stride. Tilting his head, Jin looked up at Han Naeyung from below while still keeping his hands in his pockets.

“What do you see?”

Han Naeyung swallowed hard. He was too close. He wanted to take another step back but couldn’t move. Yet, he didn’t feel repulsed. White breath escaped between Jin’s slightly parted lips. The scent of Jin was familiar and comforting.

“Are you… very drunk?”

As Han Naeyung turned his gaze away, unable to endure it, Jin smiled gently.

“If Doctor says so, then I am.”

Taking advantage of being treated as drunk, Jin moved a bit closer to Han Naeyung. If he pushed back and stepped away, Jin wouldn’t force it.

“Is this distance okay?”

Han Naeyung slowly lifted his head. They were close enough to touch with a slight tilt of his head.

“How about this?”

Their lips were almost touching. Han Naeyung felt confused. Jin’s tender breath was too inviting to pull away from. It felt as if his feet were stuck. At the moment he slightly nodded, Jin’s lips brushed against his. The snow settling on his wet lips mingled with their breaths, tickling his fine hairs. Jin pressed his upper lip gently against Han Naeyung’s.

Han Naeyung’s eyes filled with confusion. However, encouraged by the lack of resistance, Jin once again pressed his lips deeply. Inch by inch, from his thick upper lip to the corners of his mouth, he left a trail.

Han Naeyung clenched his hand tightly in his pocket. Jin pushed Han Naeyung’s lips with his own, lifting them up.

“Do you not like it?” Jin asked, meeting Han Naeyung’s gaze. The heated lips gradually cooled down, contrasting sharply with his earlier fervor. Despite his bold actions, he seemed tense now. As the snow, tinged with the color of the streetlight, touched his skin, it melted in an instant.

Han Naeyung couldn’t muster a response. He only looked at Jin with bewildered eyes. Unconsciously, he remembered the times when he had inexplicably waited for Jin. He had felt genuine disappointment when Jin hadn’t shown up. Jin was different from others. Their mingling breaths and warmth melted him away helplessly.

“If you don’t speak, I’ll do it again. This time, I’ll even use my tongue.”

“I don’t want…”

“You don’t want me to touch you?”

“…No.”

Han Naeyung tightly sealed his lips shut. His eyelids moved several times as if trying to conceal his confusion. His suppressed breath burst out like an admission of bewilderment.

“Because… you’re opposed to it.”

At the same time, their lips clashed roughly. Jin’s wrists, held by Han Naeyung, trembled. His tongue, sharp and assertive, occasionally licked and teased. After nibbling on the tense lips, he sucked on them until they felt sore.

“Mm.”

As Han Naeyung withdrew his face from the rough kiss, Jin immediately caught up. Gripping Han Naeyung’s wrist firmly, Jin pulled him closer. Jin’s kiss was tender yet intense. Han Naeyung stared at his moist cheek, his eyes unfocused.

His parted lips couldn’t resist Jin’s saliva. The sensation of their tongues tangling was warm. The feeling of their lips touching sent a tingling sensation he had never experienced before. Jin’s breath still carried a sweet scent.

Han Naeyung, who had been awkwardly staring at the streetlight, tightly closed his eyes. Then, he grabbed Jin’s coat. Jin, not missing a beat, wrapped his arms around Han Naeyung’s waist. His hands trembled as he gripped Jin’s coat tightly.

“Haah, are you cold?”

Jin whispered near his lips. Jin’s hand, which had reached his neck, pulled the hat attached to the coat. Then, he pressed his lips firmly. Their warm and moist breaths lingered inside each other.

“Prosecutor Jin… Jin. Ah…”

Han Naeyung murmured as he received Jin’s kiss. His lips felt colder than usual. It was probably because Jin had bitten and licked them several times. Jin finally withdrew his face at Han Naeyung’s call. Haah, his breath rose white from within his black hat.

“A kiss…”

Han Naeyung’s lips were redder than usual as he paused, catching his breath.

“A kiss.”

This time, Jin slowly echoed Han Naeyung’s words.

“Is it always like this… intimidating?”

Han Naeyung’s eyes were tangled with complexity. His small face hidden within the hat was full of confusion.

Approaching Han Naeyung was almost an adventure for Jin. But when Han Naeyung accepted it willingly, he impulsively plunged in. Jin inwardly reproached himself for acting so rashly.

But suddenly, Han Naeyung pressed his own lips firmly with his hand. It was almost a reaction as if to say, “Is a kiss really this good?” Having heard that he was special, Jin couldn’t hold back. Once more, he kissed Han Naeyung firmly.

“Sex would be even more intense.”

Startled, Han Naeyung shivered. Jin quickly tried to justify himself.

“That joke was a bit too much.”

Han Naeyung looked behind him at the streetlight illuminating the surroundings. No matter how much he raised the room’s temperature, the empty bed remained cold. No matter how soft the blanket, he couldn’t feel cozy. When the cloth touched his skin, it felt like being pricked by a hedgehog’s spines, causing intense discomfort.

His lips still tingled. Han Naeyung wiped them with his gloved hands. Despite the thin fabric, he felt nothing now, but Jin’s cheek, which had briefly touched his, was definitely warm.

His face was also bathed in warm light. Han Naeyung felt warmth for the first time in the light of the streetlamp. Even in his world of perpetual coldness, he realized that there was light.

My heart had stopped beating since I lost half of it. But the man in front of me had a very strong heartbeat. So, I felt greedy. I wanted to touch his beating heart with my frozen hands, to wrap myself in the blazing heat.

Since losing half of me, I just wanted to reacquaint myself with the sensations of a body that doesn’t even remember. If that could be achieved in any way…

“Can I sleep without touching you?”

“….”

Jin doubted his ears.

“Are you really drunk?”

He had drunk more than usual. It was undeniable that his mind was halfway gone, just as he had said. Han Naeyung, who belatedly regained his senses, pressed his hat deeper. Then he put his hand back in his pocket.

“Yeah.”

It was a small voice, barely audible. It was time to tread carefully through the piled snow.

“Mr. Han.”

He called Han Naeyung earnestly.

“I’m not a gentleman who would clear a table that’s set.”

Before Han Naeyung could grasp his meaning.

“Let’s sit down first. You’ve been restless since earlier.”

His gaze briefly lowered, then rose again.

⋆. ݁⭒

“Here?”

Jin asked Han Naeyung as he lowered the blinds of the animal hospital. Han Naeyung, turning around, nodded. The gradually rising intoxication had already spread throughout his body. If he relaxed, he might stumble, or even slur his words. But both seemed to be trembling.

“Do you have anything hidden at home?”

“Yes.”

Jin, having taken off his coat, sat on the sofa.

“We need to investigate your home.”

“Bring a search warrant.”

Han Naeyung, with a calm response, stood still in front of the sofa. His face was expressionless, but he seemed hesitant, as if he didn’t know what to do.

“Come up.”

Sitting down, Jin pointed to his lower body. Han Naeyung raised an eyebrow slightly.

“I won’t touch.”

Han Naeyung, who had been looking down at the floor, climbed between Jin’s legs. Jin was surprised by his unexpected action. Han Naeyung, kneeling, looked dizzy for a moment and grabbed the top of the sofa. Jin held his hand and took off his gloves.

“Is it okay since I’m wearing gloves?”

With a glance that seemed to say so, he squeezed the tube and squeezed a lot of gel into Han Naeyung’s hand. Han Naeyung held his hands, now covered in sticky gel, helplessly.

Jin pulled down Han Naeyung’s pants. Soon, his lower body was exposed, wearing only a shirt. Despite the heater running and the intoxication pervading, he didn’t feel the cold. Yet he didn’t take off his socks. No, he couldn’t take them off. Unless Jin removed them, his hands were too moist.

Jin squeezed gel onto his gloves as he did on top. After unfastening the buckle, he took out his erect penis from his briefs. He applied gel to his semi-erect penis. Several times, he made an impression as if he didn’t like the feeling of the gloves. Han Naeyung still held his hands up.

“What are you doing?”

Every time his hand moved, the central thing gradually grew bigger.

“You said not to touch, so you should do it yourself.”

Han Naeyung stared fixedly at Jin’s genitals. There was no resistance to this either. He looked down at his own, hidden by his shirt. Still, he was quiet. Han Naeyung, like Jin, wrapped his own genitals with his hand.

At the moist friction between the gel and the palm, there was a slight twitch, a reaction. Just the sight of his wet hand moving with his lips sealed was enough to arouse desire. Jin patiently blocked the hand trying to reach out.

Even with gloves on, it seemed he wouldn’t allow touching the intimate areas. Han Naeyung spread the remaining gel on his genitals and buttocks. Then he brought his bottom down to Jin’s.

“If you don’t relax, it’ll hurt, ugh.”

Jin hastily spoke as Han Naeyung sat on his. Han Naeyung forced the thickest part to penetrate, biting his lips tightly. His trembling body was enduring immense pain.

Jin also groaned softly under the pressure, as if he might burst below. Han Naeyung’s eyes and cheeks were red. Han Naeyung’s face, filled with both pain and vitality, was something Jin had never seen before.

When Han Naeyung tried to endure the pain and lower his waist, Jin urgently held onto his waist.

“Ah…”

“I’ll touch just a little, if it’s uncomfortable, tell me.”

Jin brought his hand back and surrounded the area with the gel-covered glove. He applied all the remaining gel to the stretched part. As soon as he added the gel, Han Naeyung tried to sit again, but Jin held his waist firmly.

“Dr. Han.”

Even his facial expressions, trying to figure out what to do, were beautiful. Jin brought his lips close without bringing his upper body too close. He gently ran his tongue over the closed lips.

“I’m not doing this just for myself. I want us both to feel good together.”

Han Naeyung, releasing his closed lips, looked puzzled.

“…Is this weird?”

It was a tone that seemed to say, “Isn’t this how sex is supposed to be? What’s the problem?” Who the hell did he have sex with… Jin was angry at the unknown person, but he didn’t show it outwardly. He didn’t want to show a violent side to Han Naeyung.

He licked Han Naeyung’s swollen lips more passionately than usual. Slowly, he slid his tongue into the slightly open mouth. As the tongue entered the palate again, Han Naeyung’s body trembled. It felt like heat was building up in his lower abdomen.

He alternated between relaxing and tightening his body. The inside enclosing his genitals also trembled. When Jin suddenly lifted his waist, the column was halfway inserted. Heat surged from the inside where they connected. Although he was holding onto his waist, it was difficult to support himself with his knees and he eventually collapsed.

“Huh…”

The large column pierced deep into his abdomen at once. Han Naeyung reflexively hugged his belly. He waited, looking at Jin, with his hazy eyes, as if confirming that it was Jin who was having sex with him.

Jin looked at the budding chest in front of him. The sharp nipple, standing out on the shirt clinging to his upper body due to static electricity, was exposed. Jin reached out his face and nibbled on the nipple along with the shirt. Hmph! Han Naeyung suddenly pressed down below. Jin couldn’t hold back anymore.

“I tried not to touch you too much, but…”

Quickly, Jin turned Han Naeyung over onto the sofa. As his penis rotated rapidly inside, Han Naeyung asked what it was doing. Jin spread his arms wide to support himself on the sofa.

“Can I move?”

Veins were bulging on Jin’s neck and forearms, as if he was trying hard to contain his excitement. Han Naeyung nodded his head slightly while holding onto his belly. At the same time, the squelching sound of penetration and withdrawal echoed incessantly.

“Ah! Ah! Ah! Ugh… it’s… painful…”

Han Naeyung covered his lips with the back of his hand due to the rough insertion. Thud! With his penis deeply embedded, Jin tightly twisted his waist. Han Naeyung’s mouth burst out with urgent moans. Jin, bending his upper body down, whispered to Han Naeyung.

“You can touch me.”

Meanwhile, with a thud, he lifted his waist. Han Naeyung’s hand delved into Jin’s suit. Soon his hand reached his thin shirt. It was near his heart. He could feel the rapid heartbeat. It was fast and rough, like that of a child or an animal.

Han Naeyung clenched the shirt tightly. His thighs trembled against the pillar that was repetitively thrusting against a certain point. Jin put Han Naeyung’s trembling thigh over his shoulder. Then the hand that had gripped near the heart slipped away. Too rough, way too rough. Han Naeyung murmured, holding onto his forearm. Once again, Jin’s warmth was felt through the shirt.

The painful memories that haunted him every night couldn’t penetrate as deeply today. With his body pressed against him, there was no room for other thoughts. Amidst pleasure and acute pain, he just held onto Jin.

Jin, still not removing his leather gloves, grasped Han Naeyung’s genitals firmly with his bare hands. The action of lifting his waist didn’t stop. As he heard Han Naeyung whispering his name, he applied even stronger force with his hands. Digging in deeply, Han Naeyung’s toes curled up.

The semen, ejaculated like a fountain, was thick and viscous like gel. Han Naeyung tightened his body and ejaculated. He squeezed Jin’s genitals recklessly, causing spasms inside him. Jin quickly pulled out his genitals and gripped them together with Han Naeyung’s.

As Han Naeyung was almost done ejaculating, he let out a sigh of relief. Jin’s climax was imminent. Ejaculate spurted out vigorously, reaching Han Naeyung’s chest. Even his sunken belly button was filled with thick liquid.

Jin’s erection, still strong, showed no signs of waning. In contrast, Han Naeyung’s body sank heavily onto the sofa.

Jin hugged Han Naeyung’s waist as it weakened. He brought his ear close to Han Naeyung. It was because Han Naeyung had clearly called out to him. Han Naeyung muttered. He couldn’t take responsibility for anything.

Jin looked at Han Naeyung with half-closed eyes and made a slightly pitiful expression. It was as if he was saying, “Handle your own emotions well.” Even though he hadn’t properly confessed yet, he already felt a sense of loss.

⋆. ݁⭒

Rustle, rustle. Han Naeyung woke up abruptly at the damp sensation touching his cheek. He opened his eyes, emitting a pain-filled groan without getting up. He had forgotten. This sensation. This dreadful sensation…

Thunk, thunk. A wet nose touched Han Naeyung’s cheek. He pressed his forehead hard to regain his composure. The dog wagged its short, stubby tail vigorously as if asking to be hugged, while sniffing around.

It was an ordinary house with white wallpaper and wooden floors. Han Naeyung was wrapped in a blue blanket on a large bed.

Han Naeyung stretched his legs out on the floor while hugging the dog. He had memories of being in so much pain for days after a fall. But perhaps because he had grown up, walking wasn’t too difficult. Probably because Jin had been gentle with him… or not.

Even though he was drunk, he remembered yesterday. It was because of his habit of drinking to clear his mind. But yesterday, he was probably half out of it.

Kissing under the streetlight and impulsive sex. Was he so starved for someone else’s warmth? No, what he had longed for all along was the warmth of the lost half. To think he tried to find it through Jin…

Was it because he wasn’t as repulsive as others? Because he resembled the breath he missed? None of those could be the answer.

His coat hung on one side of the bedroom clothes rack. Now that he thought about it, he was wearing a loose-fitting t-shirt and sweatpants. As he picked up his coat, the dog scratched the bedroom door.

Opening the door, the dog ran out into the living room. Jin, who was sitting on the sofa, raised his head. He was also dressed comfortably, similar to what Han Naeyung was wearing. He put down the documents he was reading on the table. Seeing Jin standing up made the house look small.

“Is your head hurting?”

“… Yesterday was rude.”

“Let’s eat before you go.”

Jin didn’t react to Han Naeyung’s indifferent tone. Of course, he was quite hurt. He must have felt like he was being pushed away after just one day.

“No, I’m fine.”

The sluggish voice that came out was faint.

Han Naeyung put on his coat and matched his arms. With the gloves in his pocket still on, he headed to the entrance. Clearly keeping his distance, Jin approached Han Naeyung.

Han Naeyung, wearing shoes, stepped back first. Yesterday’s aftermath was evident from his strained expression. Jin raised his hands in surrender, indicating that he wouldn’t approach any further.

“I’ll go then.”

Han Naeyung couldn’t meet Jin’s gaze and just looked down at his feet. Nari spun around Han Naeyung, wondering where they were going. After Han Naeyung patted Nari’s head, he opened the door.