JL Ch4.4

The owner was genuinely shocked. The kid had changed after falling in love! Kim Shin, who used to hate noise and commotion.

“Th-then, can I tell people you’re dating?”

Kim Shin gave a small nod. While the owner marveled at the power of love, he heard Kim Shin’s cold voice.

“But fire Yeonwoo from the restaurant.”

“…What?”

“Don’t forget that he helped you out this time. When he faces tough times, I’ll definitely be there to help him. So, help him to the end.”

“Well, of course, I’ll help him… but why fire Yeonwoo…?”

Kim Shin explained nonchalantly.

“He won’t have enough time for dating.”

“Oh.”

It was an irrefutable reason. The owner swallowed his sigh and reluctantly tried to find another excuse.

“Would Yeonwoo agree to that? He needs to work to cover his living expenses… but then again, with you around, money won’t be an issue. But would Yeonwoo accept your money so easily?”

“I’ll handle it.”

Right. He’d handle it well. The owner sighed again. He was reluctant to let Yeonwoo go. Yeonwoo was a good worker, and his good looks were a pleasant sight. Plus, dating Kim Shin meant hearing about their relationship, which promised an exciting life ahead. But now this felt like a bolt from the blue.

“You’ll still visit, right?”

“We’ll see.”

“Come. Bring Yeonwoo. If I suddenly fire him, I won’t even get to see his face, and I’ll become a really, really bad employer…”

“We should say goodbye, after all. I heard the sous chef treated Yeonwoo well.”

Although the owner’s words were cut off, he didn’t mind. Kim Shin’s voice suddenly turned chilly as his gaze shifted back to the kitchen. Why?

“Yeah, he treated him well. Yeonwoo often came in without eating properly, and he made sure he got meals.”

“Call him.”

“Now?”

“So we can say goodbye.”

Kim Shin’s voice was light, making the owner think he had imagined the chill. He called the sous chef. Shortly after, the busy sous chef came over with a face full of displeasure. But upon seeing the tall Kim Shin standing beside the owner, he instinctively became wary and glanced at him.

“What’s going on?”

“Oh, this is someone I know, and he wanted to greet you.”

“Why would he greet me? I don’t even know him.”

Muttering discontentedly, the sous chef looked up at Kim Shin again.

“I heard you treated Yeonwoo well. Thank you for that.”

“Yeonwoo? Song Yeonwoo?”

The sous chef repeated in surprise, shaking his head in disbelief.

“How do you know Yeonwoo, and why are you thanking me on his behalf?”

“Oh, he’s dating Yeonwoo. They’re in a relationship.”

The oblivious owner explained brightly. Realizing that he no longer had to keep it a secret, he was thrilled. He didn’t notice the sous chef’s eyes hardening in shock or his jaw twitching. Only Kim Shin noticed the change. He slowly spoke, looking down at the sous chef.

“That’s right. Song Yeonwoo is mine.”

Kim Shin half-expected Yeonwoo to head to the library the next day, but when he actually grabbed his bag and left early in the morning, it made him chuckle. You’d think he’d rest more since he was in pain. It bothered him that Yeonwoo had something else to focus on besides him. He never imagined he’d be jealous of his studies.

“Why are you laughing?”

“You’ve put a patch on.”

Yeonwoo had put a white patch on his neck, seemingly to hide the mark. Feeling embarrassed, he averted his gaze but, as always, pretended it didn’t bother him.

“My neck was stiff anyway. It’s a win-win.”

Even if he covered Yeonwoo’s entire body with hickeys, he would probably go to the library covered in patches. Covered in hickeys. This thought made his desires stir early in the morning. Driving him to the library, he spent the whole time wondering when he could hold Yeonwoo again, momentarily forgetting about household matters. Especially, he hadn’t anticipated his father’s visit.

-Come out. I’m in front of the library.

Fortunately, Yeonwoo had stepped out to take a call when the text from his father arrived. Seeing the message, Kim Shin was dumbfounded. His father had never once visited his school, the riot police unit he was part of instead of the military, or the police station where he worked.

His father was always busy, building his career as if to compensate for a failed marriage. He was someone Kim Shin could only see when he lived according to his father’s wishes. But now, causing trouble made his father rush to the library because of his wife.

Laughing inwardly, Kim Shin went outside, but his face was cold and serious. Stepping out the front door, he saw his father standing in the scorching sun. There was shade nearby, but he stubbornly remained in front of the library.

Their eyes met, and his father still had that tiger-like gaze, but Kim Shin no longer feared him. Especially now, with his father older and shorter than him. Conversations with his father were always filled with uncomfortable topics, making Kim Shin feel irritated. As long as his mother was involved, this discomfort would never disappear.

“Did you hit Juhwan?”

His father asked bluntly. Kim Shin thought he was beyond being disappointed in his father, but now he felt a mix of annoyance and disappointment. His father might just be confirming the facts, but it felt like being a child again, with his words twisted. He never cared about me.

“Follow me, please.”

Kim Shin turned towards the shaded area with benches behind the library. But his father refused.

“Don’t think you can avoid this. Answer properly.”

“It’s hot. So please come over here.”

When Kim Shin walked ahead, he heard footsteps following a moment later. It was unusual for him to lead and his father to follow, but he soon realized something: even as a child, they had rarely walked together alone. Even walking side by side would have been unfamiliar. Once they were in the shade, his father asked again.

“Did you hit Juhwan? Is it true?”

“Yes.”

“Speak properly! Did you really hit him?”

His father’s sharp and stern tone made Kim Shin’s lips twist into a smile.

“You already came here convinced that I’m the culprit.”

“Juhwan hasn’t said anything. That’s why I’m asking. Answer properly.”

Kim Shin looked straight at his father.

“Yes, I did it all. It was me who destroyed my stepmother’s family home and injured Juhwan.”

His father’s jaw tightened. His eyes filled with harsh anger but also a trace of pity.

“Go apologize properly.”

“No.”

“If you don’t want to end up like your biological mother, go and apologize!”

The mention of his biological mother was something he had heard countless times, yet it never failed to unsettle him. She was no longer around to cause problems, but the remaining two of them lived with the scars, feeling like victims. And now, because of that, they had become perpetrators towards each other. No matter how much he showed that he was studying hard and living right, this wouldn’t change. Even if he returned to being a diligent police officer for life, it wouldn’t satisfy his father.

“So what if I resemble my mother? I’m her son.”

“You still don’t get it, do you?”

His father approached swiftly and slapped him. The dull sound of the slap echoed. Kim Shin’s head turned to the side from the impact.

“Do you know how your mother died? She was found in a gambler’s car days after she went missing, barely clothed. Her body was covered in needle marks, and it was so hot that her decomposing body was swarming with insects. She was only thirty-eight. Just thirty-eight! Do you want to die like that?”

For the second time, his father brought up his mother’s death. The first time he heard it as a child, he was shocked. Even though it was different now, the story still pierced his heart like a sharp skewer. As Kim Shin remained silent, his father’s voice lowered.

“What on earth are you thinking? Why are you living like this?”

His father seemed about to say more but then glanced sideways.

“What is it?”

Kim Shin turned and saw someone standing behind him. It was Yeonwoo. A string of curses rose within him. No matter how much he planned to evoke sympathy, he never wanted Yeonwoo to see him with his father. Yet he couldn’t bring himself to tell him to leave. Instead, Yeonwoo bowed politely and greeted first.

“Hello. I’m Song Yeonwoo. I study with Shin at the library.”

“We’re talking now, so leave.”

“Sir, it looks like Shin has finished talking.”

“Hey, don’t interrupt…”

“I have business with Shin, so I’ll take him now.”

Yeonwoo stepped forward, grabbed Shin’s hand firmly, and turned away. His father’s angry voice stopped them.

“What do you think you’re doing?! How dare you interfere in family matters?”

Yeonwoo turned back and bowed again before replying.

“I’m family to Shin, too.”

Even as Yeonwoo walked Kim Shin through the scorching sun, got on the bus instead of entering the library, and then got off, Kim Shin said nothing and just followed him. Yeonwoo never let go of his hand.

Kim Shin kept looking at Yeonwoo intermittently, but Yeonwoo, like a racehorse with blinders, never turned around. Even when they drew attention on the shaky bus for not letting go of each other’s hands, he seemed unaware, only muttering one word while staring out the window.

“Sorry.”

Kim Shin did not respond to his apology. He had nothing to say. His feelings were peculiar, yet not bad. In fact, he felt good, though he was unsure since it was a first. Despite being exposed in a way he never wanted, he was surprised not to feel any discomfort.

Only after getting off the bus did he realize that Yeonwoo, who he thought was silent, was very angry. Yeonwoo was mad on his behalf. This confusing feeling began to turn clearly positive. They walked into Yeonwoo’s familiar neighborhood and the alley where he always watched him disappear. Yeonwoo opened the door to the villa Kim Shin always watched from outside. Only then did Yeonwoo let go of his hand.

“This, this is my home.”

As they entered the house, Yeonwoo finally seemed to regain his composure, showing signs of embarrassment. Avoiding Kim Shin’s eyes, he nervously opened and closed his hands, gesturing towards the interior.

“I live alone. So, make yourself at home.”

Despite Yeonwoo’s invitation, Kim Shin stood in the entrance, shoes still on, slowly taking in the surroundings.

“Isn’t it a bit shabby?”

No, Kim Shin shook his head. Yeonwoo couldn’t know how much he had wanted to come in here. To him, it looked more beautiful than any palace. But being dragged in so suddenly made him feel more bewildered than moved.

“It’s nice.”

“Nice?”

Yeonwoo’s face brightened as he asked. When Kim Shin nodded, Yeonwoo seemed like he had more to say but only moved his lips without speaking, looking around again.

“Hyung, do you have something to say to me?”

When Kim Shin took off his shoes and stepped inside, Yeonwoo looked up at him but didn’t speak immediately.

“Did I surprise you by dragging you here suddenly?”

“Yeah.”

“Haha, I’m not usually like this. I mean, I’m not an emotional or impulsive person.”

Yeonwoo mumbled as if making excuses, fidgeting with his fingers.

“But I just wanted to take you with me. Sorry for interrupting your conversation with your father.”

“It’s okay. You’re my family too.”

At those words, Yeonwoo looked up in surprise, then relaxed when he saw Kim Shin’s smile.

“Oh, that was really cheesy, wasn’t it? Haha, yeah, I thought it sounded crazy too… Anyway, if it’s okay with you.”

“Say it, hyung.”

Yeonwoo’s face turned slightly red as he looked up at him.

“Do you want to live here with me?”

“…”

“It’s small, but it’s okay for two people. If your family keeps bothering you at home, it’ll be hard on you. It’s cramped, but you’ll be at ease here, and also… I’ll cook for you. I’m a good cook.”

“Alright.”

Huh? Yeonwoo’s eyes widened in surprise. This time, Kim Shin smiled and looked away, unable to fully face him as a lump of emotion welled up in his chest. It was a new feeling, and he didn’t want it to show. He felt Yeonwoo’s gaze but pretended to look around the house instead.

“Did I look that pitiful to you?”

“No, not at all.”

Yeonwoo, startled, waved his hands. Then, looking conflicted, he spoke hesitantly.

“It’s because I’m jealous.”

“Jealous?”

“That person you talked about. The one who helped you a lot when you ran away. It seemed like you valued them a lot, and I wanted to be that kind of person for you too… So it’s not out of pity or anything. I’m serious.”

Kim Shin couldn’t help but look at Yeonwoo with wide eyes. Yeonwoo continued to explain, but the words didn’t quite register. The joy from hearing the word “jealous” was new and fresh. He wanted to laugh out loud, but the unfamiliarity of the feeling made it hard to express.

“That person is you, hyung.”

“But to you, they’re a benefactor… What? Me?”

“It was you, hyung.”

Yeonwoo blinked with his mouth half open in surprise.

“No way. It wasn’t me.”

Kim Shin couldn’t suppress his smile any longer.

“It was you. I fell off my motorcycle at dawn, and you helped me.”

“Me? I…”

Suddenly, Yeonwoo’s eyes widened as if he remembered something.

“Oh?! Was it at that intersection before the library? The runaway boy?”

Now it was Kim Shin’s turn to be surprised.

“You remember that?”

“Of course, I do. I had been drinking that time, but I wasn’t drunk. It was just before I joined the military… So that was you. Wow, unbelievable.”

Yeonwoo, still in disbelief, ran his hands through his hair repeatedly. Kim Shin felt happy but also slightly embarrassed. He hadn’t expected Yeonwoo to remember that incident. But Yeonwoo wasn’t done talking.

“I thought the first time I saw you was at the police academy.”

A bashful but pleased smile spread across Yeonwoo’s face. However, Kim Shin couldn’t smile. His heart pounded loudly, like a drum. He had thought he was the only one who remembered. The longer the memory, the more his feelings had grown, making him believe he liked Yeonwoo far more than Yeonwoo could ever like him.

So even though they had started dating, he felt it was still a one-sided love. He thought it would always feel that way. He was too greedy, and satisfying that greed seemed impossible. Yeonwoo’s words left him feeling dazed and incredulous.

“You remember that too?”

Yeonwoo, looking embarrassed, smiled and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand as if to hide it.

“Of course, I do. I even remember calling you over to help move the air conditioner.”

Kim Shin tried to suppress a smile. Yeonwoo’s words felt like a dream come true, making reality seem surreal. His love for Yeonwoo had always been so overwhelming it felt like it might one day float away like a balloon. But Yeonwoo’s confession anchored his heart securely.

He remembered everything about him. It was such a joyous realization that his heart tightened and burned with emotion. The heat rose to his throat. Yeonwoo smiled shyly again.

“Actually, I saw you one more time.”

“When?”

The pounding of his heart grew louder, like a drum. Strangely, everything around him became blurry, and only Yeonwoo stood out clearly.

“Three or four years ago, it was a really hot summer. I was in town for a wedding on a weekend, and it was so hot I was carrying a handkerchief around.”

Yeonwoo paused, trying to calm his excitement, and then smiled.

“It must have been in July.”