JL Ch6.2

“Really, it’s nothing, so you don’t need to worry about it. More importantly, you should return to the hospital as soon as possible.”

There was no response to my suggestion. Mr. Hong was staring at my face, tilting his head. The words “Huh?” were clearly written all over his face.

“Where have I seen…?”

Me? But I had never seen this Mr. Hong before. Just when I thought he might have mistaken me for someone else, Mr. Hong’s eyes widened as if they would tear apart. It was like the scene from when the blind man in the story of Simcheong opened his eyes.

“Huh?!”

“What’s wrong?”

“Gasp! Song Yeon….”

His reply was cut off and instead, he made a choking sound as if he was about to pass out. Then he covered his mouth like a startled girl and stumbled backward as if he had seen something shocking. I could only look at him with bewildered eyes.

“Did you just say Song Yeonwoo? That is indeed my name. Do you know me?”

Crash! Suddenly, a loud noise beside me seemed to answer in place of words. Could it be that the old man had collapsed…? No, it was just the chair that had fallen. The old man was staring at me with eyes wide open in astonishment. I realized I didn’t need an answer to my question. They knew who I was. But how? Why were they so shocked to see me? Suddenly, I remembered something the old man had said earlier.

‘I need to see with my own eyes the face of that bastard who brought my child to live in such a dump.’

…What? For some reason, a person suddenly came to mind. It seemed like an impossible coincidence, but before I knew it, I spoke the name out loud.

“Uh… by any chance, are you Shin’s grandfather?”

The old man’s face turned pale in an instant. He looked like he might go straight to the funeral home instead of the hospital. I was about to ask if he was alright, but he answered before I could.

“…No.”

What?

On the day the bed was delivered, the word ‘bed’ had been planted in my mind like a signboard from the moment I woke up. It sparkled like a neon sign, constantly asserting its presence. But even with the giant bed taking up two-thirds of the room, my mood had only sunk further. The neon sign for the bed had now turned off with a click, like a shop closing for the night. Instead, my mind was filled with the conversation I had with Mr. Hong, who had shoved his business card into my hand and then dashed away—an act for which the word ‘bolted’ seemed most appropriate, though I knew it was impolite to say about an elder.

‘Please keep today’s meeting with the Chairman a secret from Mr. Kim Shin. I beg you.’

The reason for secrecy was obviously because that old man was indeed Shin’s grandfather. This wasn’t surprising. It was unusual but understandable that a grandfather would be worried enough to keep watch under the blazing sun. I even felt reassured knowing how much Shin’s grandfather cared for him. What troubled me were the words the old man had said.

‘The face of that bastard who brought my child to such a dump…’

Dump. I hadn’t paid much attention to the word at first. There was no reason to be hurt by the words of a passing stranger. But it was different if it came from someone whose approval I sought.

‘Ahem, the Chairman didn’t really mean most of what he said today, so please don’t take it to heart.’

Mr. Hong had cleared his throat repeatedly, to the point where I worried about his vocal cords, and ended his sentence with an apology. I reassured him multiple times that it was okay, and he seemed to calm down, but he turned pale again when I asked my question.

‘How did you know my face?’

‘…Did I?’

His blank response made me guess the answer on my own. They had done a background check on me. Surprisingly, I didn’t feel particularly offended. I just worried if there was anything in my past that could be considered a blemish. Of course, I had lived a life without a guilty conscience. Even without a single parking ticket, I must have appeared insufficient in the eyes of Shin’s grandfather. This place, for instance.

If Shin had been living in a slightly better home before, anyone would express dissatisfaction if he left such a good place to live here. I had never considered our home circumstances to be embarrassing, whether tough times or not.

As a child, I was too young to understand, and as an adult, I was too busy making ends meet to worry about such things. Although life had its hardships due to my father’s situation, I believed that with a calm demeanor, I could manage to get by. If I had faced an insurmountable challenge, even my unflappable personality would have crumbled. I guess I’ve been lucky. I’ve never faced a hardship too great to bear.

No, I’m definitely lucky because I have Shin.

It feels like I’ve used up all the luck in my life just to have him. So, I’m not upset by what his grandfather said. For the first time, though, I felt my situation was shabby. I didn’t consider myself inadequate, but I didn’t have anything to boast about either. What could I do? However, the unfamiliar feeling of inadequacy didn’t easily yield an answer.

The new bed, which seemed too nice for this room, felt like it was looking at Shin and me. So I couldn’t bring myself to sit on it. I thought I would live my life nonchalantly without much concern for others. As I left the room, I thought, love is truly something.

– I’ll be there by 7. Eat dinner first.

Even though it wasn’t exactly 7 o’clock, a text message arrived. He had been messaging me more frequently today.

‘I’m at work. I’m bored. I miss you.’

‘I came out under the pretext of buying coffee. I’ll call you. Let me hear your voice.’

The content of the messages was simple, but I found it hard to reply. Expressions of affection like “I miss you” or “I want to hear your voice” felt awkward to me, even in text form. Unlike me, Shin had recently become very expressive with his feelings. It was as if he had always been this way, confidently showing his affection. Is it possible to be good at everything, including this?

– Have you finished your studies for today? How much is left?

Another message came in. He had asked the same thing an hour ago. Strangely, today he seemed to be checking my studies like a tutor. As a diligent student, I set a daily study goal and usually tried to meet it. If I couldn’t, I’d study harder the next day to make up for it.

And today, I knew I wouldn’t meet my study goal because of the bed delivery. So I could have postponed my studies. Given how excited I was in the morning, maybe I should have. But now, I didn’t want to.

Feeling inadequate, I wanted to work hard at something I could do well, to prove myself worthy of Shin in some way. I wanted to be someone his family wouldn’t be ashamed to meet. Family. As I stared blankly into space, I thought of another family member. I remembered the call I had with my brother-in-law this morning. Then, I turned on my phone and searched for my mom’s number for the first time in a while.

* * *

– I still have some work to do, so I’m studying at the library. You must be hungry, go ahead and eat dinner.

He could almost hear Yeonwoo’s gentle voice in his thoughtful message. However, Kim Shin frowned as he read the text. The library? He had definitely gone home earlier today because the bed was being delivered. Normally, he wouldn’t find it strange for Yeonwoo to go back to studying afterward, given his diligent nature, but today it bothered him.

He didn’t say it outright, but he clearly expressed his intention. He told him to wrap up early and come home today. Though he had his back turned, he saw his ears turn red. Yeonwoo must have understood what he meant. He didn’t think she was eagerly anticipating this day as he was, but he was certain that she also wanted him today.

– I’ll come to the library to pick you up.

This reply came a bit later. The time it took for the dark screen to light up felt like Yeonwoo’s hesitation.

– No, I’ll study until closing. You must be tired, so go home and rest first.

What the hell is this? A cold shiver quickly spread down his spine. That sentence felt like it was pushing him away, making him uncomfortable.

Kim Shin stared at his phone with a cold gaze, only relaxing once the screen went dark. Everything was fine when they parted this morning. It’s probably nothing. Maybe he’s really just focusing on studying. Yeonwoo was diligent to the point of stubbornness about meeting his daily study goals. So, he understood. But today felt different. Kim Shin ran his long fingers through his hair, suppressing a grin that was trying to surface. He wanted to pull Yeonwoo out of the study room immediately but restrained himself. Instead, he watched through the glass door, sending another message.

– Did you have dinner?

Yeonwoo’s hand paused as he checked his phone. From the side, his expression was unclear.

– Yeah, I did.

Kim Shin immediately knew it was a lie. There were two empty milk cartons on Yeonwoo’s desk. He often drank milk when he didn’t want to deal with crowded dining times, usually eating meals early or late to avoid the rush. Why lie? To keep me from worrying? He was puzzled but didn’t dwell on it. Another message followed.

– Did you eat properly?

– No, I haven’t. I wanted to eat with you. It doesn’t have to be food, though.

His intent was clear, hoping Yeonwoo would catch on. Yeonwoo often blushed and averted his gaze at such remarks. Lately, Kim Shin had been more explicit, and Yeonwoo was gradually getting better at recognizing the cues.

Yeonwoo was still embarrassed by Kim Shin’s words, making him want to tease more. Did he know how much his reactions drove Kim Shin crazy? Sometimes, Kim Shin wanted to bind him and show how deep his desire ran. But expectation held him back, wanting to keep seeing Yeonwoo’s innocent responses. So, he focused on his phone, watching Yeonwoo hesitatingly type and delete messages.

– You must be hungry. Go ahead and eat and go home. I have more studying to do and will head back soon.

Kim Shin felt a chill of discomfort again. Why did he feel like Yeonwoo was pushing him away? He replied, eyes still on the phone.

– Don’t study.

Yeonwoo, shocked, leaned closer to his phone to read the message again. Kim Shin quietly entered the study room, watching him the entire time. Others glanced at him, but Yeonwoo, lost in thought, didn’t notice his approach.

– Then I’ll fail my exams.

But before he could send the message, Kim Shin leaned down, close enough to smell Yeonwoo’s faint peach scent mixed with his natural fragrance. The whisper in his ear was as intoxicating as the scent.

“I’ll help you.”

Yeonwoo jumped like a startled frog, trying not to make a sound in the library. His face showed a mix of shock and confusion as he turned to face Kim Shin. Kim Shin, still leaning close, didn’t want to move. Seeing Yeonwoo’s bewildered face only made his desire stronger. 

***

I thought my heart was going to drop. Shin leaned over, trapping me between the desk and chair, staring at me closely.

“When did you get here?”

I whispered, looking around. Luckily, it was dinner time, and no one was around, but I felt eyes on us. I quickly tried to push his shoulders, but he resisted.

“Pack your things.”

His low, commanding voice was firm, yet the whisper tickled my ear. I involuntarily shuddered, looking around nervously. Only when I reluctantly said “Okay” did he finally straighten up.

And after making sure I had packed, he took my bag and led me out of the library. As soon as we were outside the study room, I could speak freely again and tried to grab my bag from him.

“I can carry it.”

But Shin quickly switched the bag to his other hand and placed his hand on my back.

“I’m hungry. Let’s go.”

I was about to say something but nodded at his mention of being hungry. If he’s hungry, we should go. Actually, I hadn’t eaten properly either, so his words made me realize my own hunger. It was strange. I hadn’t felt like eating all afternoon because I was feeling down, but seeing him made my body function normally again.

“Yeah, let’s eat. I’m hungry too.”

“You haven’t eaten?”

“Huh? Oh, no. I was about to.”

Only after replying did I remember that I had told him I had already eaten. I looked at him nervously, but fortunately, Shin didn’t call out my lie. Instead, he asked as we descended the stairs.

“Don’t you like the bed?”

“No, it’s nice.”

I answered lightly, walking down, but noticed he had stopped. I turned to see him standing a few steps higher, making me have to look up at him more.

“Why?”

He looked like he had something to say but then shook his head and came down beside me. His hand was back on my back. As his fingers traced down my spine to my waist, I shivered when he removed his hand. It felt like a reminder of why he had the bed sent over, making my heart race.

By the time we got home after dinner, the thought of the bed had faded, replaced by other thoughts. While parking the car, Shin suddenly asked,

“Did anything else happen today?”

The unexpected question made me pause. Through the car window, I saw the parasol of the store where I had met his grandfather.

“No, nothing much. Except for the bed.”

“Really?”

He turned and looked at me intently. The car had stopped, and it was time to get out. Feeling guilty, I avoided his eyes, pretending to unfasten my seatbelt.

“I had some work come up.”

“What happened?”

“Just when I thought I was done, Director Hong came by in the morning and gave me more work. He was so smooth about it, I couldn’t refuse.”

Shin ran his hand over his face, showing his frustration. The mention of Director Hong reminded me of the well-mannered man in his fifties I had met earlier.

‘Mr. Song! Please, don’t tell Mr. Kim!’

It was hard to reconcile the pleading man from earlier with the one who smoothly overworked Shin.

“Is the work tough?”

Shin sighed and muttered,

“It’s hard, but kind of fun.”

His voice held a hint of injustice, making me smile silently. Although he had quit the police force to pursue his studies, I knew he had done so partly because of me, which always made me feel a bit guilty. So, hearing he found something fun was a relief. As I relaxed, he lowered his gaze and asked softly,

“Did you meet anyone today?”

The sudden question caught me off guard, and I unintentionally held my breath. Don’t let him notice you’re startled. I tried not to show my surprise, but his focused gaze made me feel guilty.

“No, I didn’t meet anyone.”

Could he know something? Trying to lie felt torturous. Unconsciously, I licked my lips and lowered my gaze.

“Why do you ask?”

There was a brief silence before I looked up again to find him staring at my lips.

“Just in case someone from my father’s side might have come to see you.”

“Do they want to meet me?”

I blinked in surprise at the unexpected mention. But he shook his head and smiled lightly.

“Just a thought. They won’t investigate, but they might want to meet through you.”

I bit back my secret about his maternal grandfather’s investigation, seeing him look at me seriously.

“They might want to use you to get to me. If they contact you, just ignore them.”

“Okay.”

Only after my reply did his tense expression soften. He seemed firm about cutting ties with his father’s side, but it still worried me. Carefully, I asked,

“Is it really okay not to meet your father again?”

“Don’t worry. It’s not unusual for us to fight.”

I believe that even family relationships can be strained. There’s no need to force painful encounters under the guise of family. Some people maintain better relationships by staying apart. But I wondered if he was rejecting the idea of family altogether. Sensing my thoughts, he asked quietly,

“Do you want me to reconcile with my father’s side?”

“No.”

I quickly added,

“I mean, reconciliation would be good, but only if you want it. If not, that’s okay too.”

Flustered, I blurted out something foolish, but Shin smiled, understanding what I meant. I found myself momentarily captivated by his smile again and quickly looked down. Foolish, really.

“Actually, I want to introduce you to my family. I hope you like them. But just in case you might feel uncomfortable…”

“Of course, I’d love to. They’re your family.”

He interrupted me with a prompt reply. His voice seemed somewhat restrained, but in the dimly lit car, I couldn’t see his eyes clearly.

“I want to meet and greet your family properly.”

I almost added, “Me too,” but fortunately, my cautious sense held it back. Regardless of my relationship with Shin, I anticipated that his family wouldn’t be pleased with me. Yet, I still harbored the desire to be accepted. That thought dampened my spirits, but I quickly pushed it away and spoke up.

“My younger sister and brother-in-law don’t oppose it, my father hasn’t responded yet, and my mother was a bit surprised but seems like she’ll accept it in time.”

I listed the reactions of my family members one by one. Shin raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“You told your family?”

“Yeah.”

“When?”

“Today.”

I answered calmly, straightening up and adding,

“I needed their permission for something, so I took the opportunity to tell them about us living together. They might come to see you eventually. Sorry for not telling you earlier.”

I tried to appear nonchalant, but my jaw tensed, fearing my voice might tremble. I cautiously observed Shin’s reaction. He looked at me as if he were in a daze, then slowly turned his head aside. Though it was dark, I thought I saw a hint of redness in his ears. After a pause, he spoke,

“Thank you.”

What? I should be the one thanking him. I was about to reply with a smile when he took my hand, pressed it to his face, and murmured again, “Thank you.” Despite his dry tone, my heart fluttered with an inexplicable emotion. His face seemed unchanged, but his gratitude felt genuine, not some melodramatic appreciation for meeting my family. Instead, it was for my decision to introduce him to them.

“I’m sorry.”

“Huh? For what?”

Startled by his sudden apology, I blinked, and he reached over to re-fasten my seatbelt, which I had unbuckled.

“I forgot to introduce you to my family too. You’ve been waiting.”

Not at all. I almost said it out loud but stopped myself. He was probably trying to reciprocate my earlier gesture. I felt compelled to respond in kind.

“I’d love to meet your family too, but maybe we could plan it for another time…”

“Okay.”

With a crisp reply, he suddenly picked up his phone from the holder, found a number, and pressed the call button. Hearing the dial tone through the speaker, I stayed silent, watching him. Who was he calling out of the blue?

[Yes, Mr. Kim.]

A young man’s voice answered, and Shin asked briefly,

“How is he?”

[Resting after dinner.]

“Tell him I’ll be there in about 40 minutes.”

Where was he planning to go all of a sudden?

[Pardon? Now… Oh, I’ll let him know.]

After the surprised response, Shin immediately hung up and started the car.

“Where are we going? Am I coming too?”

“I’m going to introduce you to my family.”

“Your father?”

My voice cracked with surprise, but he shook his head. No, “fortunately” wasn’t the right word.

“Right now?”

“Yes, is that a problem?”

“It’s just too sudden. We should plan and schedule…”

His eyes narrowed slightly as he drove.

“I’m not one to act impulsively.”

…Quitting the police force? Charging in to confront family matters? I almost retorted but then something dawned on me. Wait, if it’s not his father, then… No way…

“Visiting my maternal grandfather unannounced is fine.”

…So, it was him.

“It’s just an introduction. No need to be nervous.”

It was the second time that worried me. Clenching the seatbelt tightly, I ventured,

“He probably won’t like me.”

“Maybe.”

His blunt response stung a bit, but he continued, sounding like he was giving me a casual briefing.

“He’s likely investigated me and knows all about you. Just showing your face will be enough.”

His apologetic glance softened the blow. Having already met the person who investigated me, I could only roll my eyes in surprise.

“We’re not going to seek permission, so don’t worry about what he says. We don’t need it.”

I thought he was close to his grandfather, but his resolute tone made him sound cold, almost indifferent. His grandfather had cherished him so much that he had once come to fetch him from my house. My puzzled look must have conveyed a different question because Shin smiled lightly.

“I want to show you off too.”

After that, I couldn’t argue against this sudden visit anymore. Oh, I’m not good at pretending.

“Ha, ha, why on earth would you suddenly decide to visit our hospital today? It’s such an unexpected honor.”

It seemed insane for someone entirely unrelated to be saying this, even if it were from a hospital official. However, I couldn’t show any sign of my thoughts. Director Hong’s eyes were wide and trembling like those of a bobblehead doll, silently shouting at me.

‘We agreed to keep it a secret!’

He seemed to think that our appearance here was because I had spilled everything about what happened during the day. It was frustrating, but with Shin present, explaining was tricky.

“Deputy Kim, who is guarding the hospital, said he didn’t hear the purpose of your visit. So, what brings you here all of a sudden?”

Despite his disheveled hair and tracksuit, Director Hong, who looked more like the one who had suddenly arrived, asked us the purpose of our visit with a stern face. Shin stared at him curiously.

“Is there a problem with me being here?”

“No, it’s just that it’s quite late…”

“It’s not even nine o’clock yet.”

“Still, visiting hours at the hospital are…”

“You once gathered people at five in the morning, but nine in the evening is not acceptable?”

“…The chairman is in the back.”

He led the way and opened the door to the hospital room. As I followed Shin, feeling awkward, I heard the sound of Director Hong’s slippers echoing down the hospital corridor. Passing through a spacious area that looked like a reception room, we reached another door, revealing a hospital room several times larger than my own.

The grandfather I had seen earlier greeted us from the bed with a frown. However, his expression didn’t intimidate me. He was stuck in an awkward position, neither sitting nor lying down. It was the most unnatural sight.

Moreover, his eyes were as shaky as Director Hong’s. As a result, I felt like a frightening perpetrator intimidating a wealthy chairman and his executive. When the only calm person among us, Shin, stepped forward, both the grandfather and Director Hong flinched simultaneously.

“How’s your health?”

His voice lacked the usual kindness he showed me, sounding dry. Perhaps that was why the grandfather and Director Hong widened their eyes in shock, as if Shin were challenging him to a fight.

“What, what if my health is fine? Do, do you expect me to apologize just because you two barged in here? Huh? Should I get on my knees or something? Huh?!”

Despite his angry outburst, he was subtly adjusting his posture as if he really might kneel. No, please.

“Why would you need to apologize?”

At Shin’s low question, the grandfather thankfully stopped halfway through bending one leg. Unable to respond, he stiffened while Shin tilted his head, looking back and forth between the grandfather and Director Hong.

“What do you have to apologize for?”

The grandfather glanced at me at that moment. Seeing his mouth opening and closing like a goldfish, I instinctively stepped forward and bowed deeply.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Song Yeonwoo.”

Emphasizing “nice to meet you,” I lifted my head to see the two of them blinking in realization, their expressions gradually understanding the truth.

At first, “Huh? Huh?”

Then, “Ahhh!”

Their faces lit up with exclamations, and after a moment, Director Hong, quick-witted, broke into a smile.

“So, you’re Mr. Song Yeonwoo. Nice to meet you. I’m Hong Youngkwon from the secretary’s office. Sorry for the late introduction.”

Relieved, Director Hong emphasized “nice to meet you” but cleared his throat and stepped back at Shin’s piercing gaze. The grandfather, seemingly deciding it was better to stay silent, just rolled his eyes quietly. Despite Shin’s suspicious gaze at the two, he grabbed my arm and introduced me.

“He’s the one I’ll spend my life with.”

I flinched in surprise, just like the two in front of me. For life?

“For life?”

The grandfather raised his eyebrows and echoed my question.

“He’s the most important person to me, so please treat him as you would treat me. I came to inform you of that.”

Ignoring the grandfather’s question, Shin stated his purpose and stared intently. His gaze felt more like he was interrogating a suspect rather than speaking to family, making the atmosphere in the room tense. It seemed like a warning to be careful how he treated me because Shin knew everything.

Though the grandfather should have been furious at such a look from his grandson, he only twitched his rigid jaw, not saying anything, probably feeling guilty. Instead, he glanced at me in confusion, as if asking if I hadn’t told Shin. I subtly nodded without Shin noticing.

“Ahem, I’m not someone who just lashes out at anyone, so why say such things?”

The grandfather turned his head in displeasure, but his face was full of disappointment. He must have felt quite upset that his grandson didn’t trust him. Regardless of the grandfather’s feelings, Shin, who didn’t care at all, grabbed my arm and bade him farewell.

“Rest well.”

Wait, just like that? While I was surprised, the two in front of us reacted nonchalantly, as if this was a common occurrence. The grandfather sharply turned his head, and Director Hong stepped forward as if to see us off. But I couldn’t leave just like that.

“Shin is staying at my house.”

I stopped Shin by holding his arm and spoke up. Facing their gazes was nerve-wracking, but I had to say this.

“I’m sorry that my house isn’t up to the standards for your precious grandson.”

I bowed deeply, and the grandfather, taken aback, opened and closed his lips. But soon, noticing Shin’s reaction, he kept his mouth shut with a frown. I raised my head and cautiously added.

“But it’s only temporary. Due to some personal circumstances, Shin is staying with me out of consideration, and once things are sorted, he will move.”

Beside me, Shin looked at me curiously, but I was too focused on the grandfather to care about Shin at the moment.

“…What circumstances?”