JL Ch3.2

“Yes, it’s a very critical matter,” Director Hong quickly responded.

“Mr. Kim Shin, this contract is crucial not only for the company but also for Chairman Noh. In fact, the urgent matter I mentioned on the phone includes this issue. As you know, if the Chairman is unable to make decisions, you have been designated as the legal representative for all decisions. The contracting company is aware of the Chairman’s condition and is demanding a decision from his representative.”

Kim Shin listened to Director Hong’s explanation without much reaction and checked his wristwatch. Director Hong suddenly recalled that he had seen Kim Shin checking the time several times when he was at the hospital in the evening.

“Do you have something urgent?”

“What are the chances of my grandfather waking up soon?”

“Well, the doctors can’t predict the exact time…”

Director Hong trailed off, but he could anticipate what Kim Shin would say next. Based on what he had heard from Chairman Noh and his personal observations, he expected Kim Shin to insist on meeting the doctor for an accurate update.

However, Kim Shin just looked at Director Hong without saying anything. This threw Director Hong off, as he had prepared responses for why meeting the doctor might not be possible. Why isn’t he asking?

“Um, I suppose you might want to confirm things directly with the doctor…”

“I understand.”

“Sorry, what?”

“I’ll handle the contract. Where can I review it?”

Director Hong, surprised, glanced involuntarily at Chairman Noh.

“There’s a reception room right next door that you can use. Do you want to do it now?”

“Yes.”

Director Hong, who rarely showed his surprise, was visibly taken aback. He had always heard that Kim Shin showed little interest in his grandfather’s affairs. It was said that Chairman Noh’s greatest wish was for his grandson to inherit all his wealth. But now, Kim Shin was taking charge of the Chairman’s affairs.

“Ah, the lawyer brought the contract documents and materials. Are you really going to do it?”

“You said it’s urgent.”

“Yes, most of the company executives are gathered outside…”

“Are they necessary?”

“Pardon?”

Kim Shin’s steady gaze made Director Hong swallow his discomfort and quickly collect his thoughts.

“They are the most knowledgeable about the contract. Their advice could be valuable.”

“I don’t need advice.”

“Sorry?”

Once again, Kim Shin’s steady gaze bore into him, but he quickly added more.

“I just need to review the necessary documents. I don’t have time for advice. Send them away.”

“But you should hear the internal opinions…”

“Then call those who aren’t here.”

Kim Shin checked his wristwatch again.

“By 7 o’clock.”

With that, he swiftly exited the room, followed by the flustered lawyer. Silence enveloped the large hospital room for a while. Director Hong muttered to himself as he tried to regain his composure.

“Does he really have something urgent?”

“Ugh!”

Startled by the sudden groan, Director Hong quickly went to Chairman Noh’s side. The Chairman was already struggling to remove his mask and trying to sit up.

“You mustn’t strain yourself, Chairman,” he cautioned.

Director Hong tried to stop him, but Chairman Noh insisted on sitting up.

“Are you alright?”

Despite the concern of his long-time aide, Chairman Noh’s glaring eyes stayed fixed on the door. His face was a storm of emotions. Though he had a grandson he was immensely proud of, one he would have advertised on TV every day if he could, he had to suppress his feelings. Long ago, after his daughter died, his son-in-law had cruelly blamed him.

“You killed her. She became irredeemably broken because you always covered up her mistakes and cleaned up after her. You killed my son’s mother. So, don’t you dare come near my son.”

That despicable man took his grandson away. It took a year before he saw his grandson again, but Chairman Noh couldn’t shower him with affection as before. His excessive love had destroyed his daughter. His son-in-law’s words were a cruel stab to his heart as he buried his daughter. However, he couldn’t be harsh towards his grandson, who he loved dearly. Especially since his son-in-law, fearing Shin would turn out like his mother, raised him too strictly.

When Shin had a bike accident in high school, his son-in-law made him take the bus with his injured leg. Chairman Noh had to fight hard to send a car for him, but that was all he could do. He couldn’t stop his son-in-law from forcing Shin into a police academy he didn’t want to attend, or from enduring a tough military police service and even tougher police work. He tried to help by giving Shin a car and house, insisting, “If you don’t take this, I’ll die,” but Shin refused anything more.

Now, this same grandson was handling the company’s affairs he had always refused to touch. The gratitude Chairman Noh felt at that moment was as if his dead daughter had come back to life. But his habit of not showing affection left him speechless. Watching him, Director Hong quietly spoke.

“Congratulations, Chairman.”

“What’s there to congratulate? You’re happy I’m sick, you wretch?”

Chairman Noh snapped, turning his head, but tears welled in his eyes. Director Hong, knowing his grumpy boss couldn’t express his feelings, smiled.

“You have a good grandson. He always said he wasn’t interested in your business, but here he is, taking care of things because you’re ill. It was worth pretending to be sicker than you are.”

“Ahem, he cares a lot about me.”

Chairman Noh boasted proudly, but quickly put up his usual emotional barriers.

“I’m on the brink of death; of course, he has to step in.”

“It would be great if he continued to handle things. He’s left the police. By the way, his resignation isn’t finalized yet, is it?”

Chairman Noh, unable to hide his satisfaction, had his expression shift to anger at Director Hong’s words.

“That damn man. Keeping a talent like Shin tied to the police. If he likes it so much, he should move into a police station himself instead of wasting my precious grandson’s potential.”

Seeing his grandson endure a job he hated made Chairman Noh want to strangle his son-in-law. But he held back, fearing Shin would hate him. When Shin finally left the police, Chairman Noh had laughed so hard it strained his heart.

“Even if he quit the police, it’s a pity he doesn’t seem interested in taking over your work.”

“What’s there to pity? Shin should do whatever he wants. The business can be run by competent people, and the money can be managed well. But for Shin to even consider it, I need to get rid of those damn nuisances.”

Despite his pale, sickly appearance, Chairman Noh’s eyes blazed.

“What’s the deadline for dealing with her family?”

“You mean Commissioner Kim’s wife?”

“What wife? That damn woman should have taken good care of Shin, not just her own son. I’m going to make them cry blood before I die.”

“But she didn’t particularly mistreat him…”

“Not mistreating isn’t enough! She should have loved him! What kind of mother is she if all she did was feed him and send him to school? Neglect is also abuse. That damn man brainwashed my grandson so badly he did a job he hated, while their son gets to do whatever he wants.”

Chairman Noh trembled with anger at the memory of the past.

“Chairman.”

“I’ll clean up all the garbage around Shin before I die. What’s the status of her family?”

Director Hong, who had been looking for the right moment, responded carefully.

“The deadline has long passed. We are still waiting for a response regarding the second extension.”

“Handle it immediately.”

Director Hong glanced towards the room where Kim Shin was.

“It’s going to cause an uproar today.”

“It should. Make sure that woman goes straight to Shin and causes a scene. Strike while the iron is hot. Shin has finally decided to leave the police; we can’t let him get tied back up because of lingering sentiments.”

“Yes, I’ll handle it right away.”

As Director Hong turned to leave, Chairman Noh called him urgently.

“Get coffee from the place Shin likes and bring some pastries too.”

“They’re not open yet.”

“Call and have them open.”

“Yes, sir.”

“And make sure to use my loyalty points.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Oh, and…”

“Yes?”

“What about my lottery tickets?”

Director Hong fished five lottery tickets out of his pocket and handed them over.

“All blanks.”

The lawyer, who had been summoned since early dawn, couldn’t afford to sleep despite his drowsiness. His phone kept buzzing with messages from people curious about how Chairman Noh’s grandson would handle the situation, but he had no information to provide. Kim Shin had been meticulously reviewing the documents since dawn, asking only a few questions and giving no indication of how he planned to proceed.

Hence, he couldn’t leave his side even for a moment. The senior company officials who had been summoned early in the morning took a moment to marvel at Shin’s focus.

“His concentration is incredible.”

The lawyer agreed, attributing it partly to Shin’s stamina, but sensing there was more to it. Shin frequently checked the time and his phone, which made the lawyer suspect he had some urgent matter. This suspicion was confirmed when Shin firmly stated he would finish by 9 a.m.

“Do you have somewhere urgent to go?”

While sharing necessary data, the lawyer cautiously asked. To his surprise, Shin replied immediately.

“Home.”

Home? Was there some hidden treasure there?

For Yeonkyung, the morning should have been like any other—a pleasant start to the day. Her hardworking husband was set to be promoted and transferred to the headquarters, and her stepson, Joohwan, who had briefly strayed, had successfully completed his studies and was slated to start learning the ropes at her father’s company next year.

Although her father’s company would be inherited by her brother, she hoped Joohwan could prove his worth and secure a significant position there. Everything seemed to be going well for once, except for one nagging issue: Shin.

Her husband’s son from his previous marriage. They had a major fight when he abruptly quit the police force, but even before that, Shin’s mere presence was a constant discomfort for her, like oil refusing to mix with water.

When she first remarried, she genuinely wanted to be a good mother to Shin, just as she wanted her husband to be a good father to Joohwan. Her husband was a reserved but good man, and Joohwan had taken to him even better than to his biological father.

Those few years with just the three of them were blissfully happy. But when Shin’s mother died and he moved in, their happiness was disrupted. She still remembered the day he arrived with his luggage. He was in fifth grade but already taller and more physically developed than Joohwan, who was just a year older. He was also unnervingly calm for a child. Her resolve to be a good mother wavered the moment she met him, this strikingly capable child who only highlighted her own son’s inadequacies.

Our Joohwan shouldn’t lose confidence. What if people compare him to his brother and hurt him? Yeonkyung welcomed the child with a smile, but couldn’t completely hide the anxiety filling her up at that moment. She realized that the child could see right through her.

Maybe things had gone wrong from the very beginning. She did everything necessary to avoid her husband’s dislike, but she couldn’t help wishing that the brilliant child, who excelled at everything, wasn’t as good as Joohwan.

Fortunately, her husband, obsessed with his ex-wife, feared that Shin would end up like her, so he forced him into the police academy. After Shin started living on his own in college, peace returned to her life as she didn’t have to see him anymore. She felt relieved knowing that no matter how outstanding he was, Shin’s highest possible position would be in the police force.

Until then, Yeonkyung didn’t know who Shin’s maternal grandfather was, despite her bad relationship with her husband. She assumed he must have some money based on what he did for Shin, but thought he couldn’t compare to her own father who ran a manufacturing business. However, she felt uneasy when she saw the villa Shin received as a graduation gift. Who on earth could he be? Her son Joohwan revealed the truth to her.

“Mom, did you know that Shin’s grandfather is an incredible person?”

Yeonkyung saw the anxiety in her son’s eyes as he asked this question. The poor boy had grown up overshadowed by Shin. He had always taken pride in his maternal family, but even that was crushed by Kim Shin.

Then, on a peaceful Sunday morning, a phone call shattered even that pride. It was only natural for Yeonkyung to rush to Kim Shin’s villa after receiving her brother’s frantic call.

“I got a sudden notice for tomorrow. Isn’t Kim Commissioner’s son your stepson? You have to do something. Our company will shut down if we don’t get the money by tomorrow. Hurry and contact him and beg if you have to!”

In her brother’s desperate voice, all she could think of was Joohwan. The company also belonged to Joohwan. Why should Shin ruin it? However, his phone was off, and she was denied entry at the villa gate, being told that she was an outsider. She managed to get into the villa and rang the doorbell until it was almost noon.

Ding dong, ding dong, ding dong, ding dong…

She had information that he was home. She planned to ring the bell until he came out. Yeonkyung was almost out of her mind. Therefore, she didn’t notice how murderous Kim Shin’s eyes were when he opened the door after a long time, annoyed at having his weekend interrupted. She wanted to slap him, but her hand couldn’t reach the cheek of the tall man. Instead, she clenched her fist and asked furiously.

“Is this your doing?”

Kim Shin ran a hand through his hair, irritated.

“How did you get in here?”

“Why wouldn’t I? I’m your mother! Did you think I came here because I wanted to in this great house where even family isn’t allowed?”

“Lower your voice.”

The low, menacing warning brought Yeonkyung back to her senses. She unconsciously stepped back in shock.

“How dare you talk to the person who raised you like that…”

Feeling betrayed, Yeonkyung said something she shouldn’t have.

“Blood is thicker than water, after all.”

Yeonkyung realized her mistake but believed her stepson was at fault first. Moreover, he didn’t seem hurt; he just responded calmly.

“There’s a café across from the villa. Wait there.”

As Kim Shin tried to close the door after saying that, Yeonkyung quickly grabbed the doorknob.

“No, I need an answer from you right now. If you hide back inside…”

Yeonkyung stopped mid-sentence as she noticed a pair of worn sneakers in the entrance. Smaller than Kim Shin’s shoes.

“Is there someone else inside?”

Kim Shin’s eyes changed instantly. Although she couldn’t describe it, Yeonkyung felt a chill down her spine. While she hesitated, Kim Shin slammed the door shut in her face. She stared at the door in a daze, finally realizing that while he had brushed off her taunt about blood, he had become terrifyingly serious about the sneakers. Who could be inside?

At 12:30, Kangho’s phone, for which he had been anxiously waiting, rang. He picked up before the second ring.

“Hey, Joohwan.”

[Thank you, Sunbae. Kim Shin is at home. Thanks to you, I finished talking with my mom.]

The voice of his school junior sounded lifeless. Well, it didn’t matter. The important thing was that he was Kim Shin’s stepbrother. Kangho was the only one who noticed him, someone none of their school friends cared about, and he had been in regular contact with Joohwan.

Joohwan was one of Kangho’s useful sources of information about Kim Shin, but it was crucial to keep their relationship hidden to avoid any complications. Despite this, maintaining a connection with Joohwan had been worthwhile. Although legally family, Joohwan disliked Kim Shin enough that he rarely even referred to him as his brother, though he was still very interested in him.

“You didn’t mention me, right? Make sure you never do.”

[No, I didn’t. I didn’t even tell Mom about you. I heard everything about Kim Shin from you, but I can’t let him find out.]

“Well, we’re not saying anything bad, but it’s Kim Shin, after all.”

[Yes, it’s Kim Shin.]

Joohwan sighed deeply. Kangho wasn’t particularly interested in Joohwan’s situation, but he was curious since it involved Kim Shin.

“So, what’s going on? Did something happen to Shin?”

[No, there’s a problem with our maternal family, and it seems related to Kim Shin’s grandfather’s side.]

Ah, that place. Kangho shook his head. He had heard rumors about Chairman Noh, known to be ruthless when it came to money.

[I asked Kim Shin for help, but I’m not sure what will happen.]

There’s no way that bastard would help. Kangho hid his thoughts once again. While Joohwan was a good source of information, he was likely to whine to Kangho about family problems. Even if it meant getting information about Kim Shin, keeping a beggar-like Joohwan around was tiring. Kangho decided he should avoid taking Joohwan’s calls in the future.

“Since it’s a family matter, he’ll probably help. Anyway, take good care of your mother…”

[By the way, it seems there’s someone else at Kim Shin’s house.]

“What?!”

[Why are you so surprised?]

“No, it’s just… Kim Shin never brings anyone to his house.”

Kangho gave a vague response, which Joohwan accepted easily.

[Yeah, so my mom was surprised too.]

“Did she see who’s inside?”

Kangho asked, instinctively recalling the man he had seen at the villa that morning—a handsome man with a gentle, boyish look.

[No, she only saw the shoes. Men’s sneakers. She said they looked quite worn out.]

Worn-out shoes! That’s him. Did he come back to Kim Shin’s place? Wow, what makes him so irresistible that Kim Shin brought him back? Kangho’s heart raced as he recalled the man he had seen that morning.

I’m glad I came back to this villa today. I need to wait and catch him when he leaves. This time, I won’t miss him. If I wave some money in front of him, he’ll come along willingly. Ha, when I take that body, softened from being with Kim Shin… I might come the moment I get inside. Damn, just thinking about it is thrilling.

[Oh, and Kim Shin apparently asked how my mom got inside and reached the front door.]

Kangho snapped out of his fantasy, startled.

“You didn’t say I live here, did you? Don’t ever mention that I let her in.”

[No, my mom doesn’t know, so she didn’t say anything. But Kim Shin asked twice…]

Ding dong~

At that moment, the doorbell rang. Simultaneously, an inexplicable chill ran through Kangho. He couldn’t tell if it was due to hearing Kim Shin’s name over the phone or the slow, repeated doorbell sound.

Ding dong~

Kangho forced himself to move and checked the visitor on the panel, holding his breath. It was Kim Shin.

[Sunbae. Sunbae?]

Kangho couldn’t speak. Even though he knew Kim Shin couldn’t hear him through the panel, he felt he shouldn’t make any noise, not even a breath. How did he know to come here? He shouldn’t know that I live here. It was only known that I lived near the villa, not in the same building as Kim Shin.

But how did he know my house…? Gulping, Kangho swallowed hard and abruptly hung up the loud phone call. Act like you’re not home. Don’t open the door. As the internal voice echoed loudly, Kim Shin stared directly at Kangho through the panel.

Startled, Kangho recoiled as if he had made eye contact with him. Despite Kim Shin standing outside the gate, it felt like he could see Kangho through the screen. The doorbell rang again, followed by a loud noise.

Bang!!

It seemed Kim Shin had kicked the gate, making a thunderous sound. Kangho, startled again, hesitated before finally standing at the front door. He struggled to concoct an excuse from his clouded mind, but before he could, Kim Shin’s voice came from beyond the door.

“Open the door.”

It was just an ordinary voice, but Kangho, forgetting to pretend he wasn’t home, robotically opened the gate in a panic. The moment he lightly pushed the door open, it was yanked from the outside, forcing Kangho to step back.

“Uh, Sh-Shin. How did you get here? Did you know I live here?”

Words spilled out of his mouth without him realizing it, but Kim Shin only took a step inside, surveying the interior. After quite a while, he asked.

“Are you alone?”

“Y-Yeah, I’m alone here…”

In an instant, he felt his hair being grabbed, followed by a thunderous sound in his ears.

Bang! Crash!

No matter how loud it was, Kangho couldn’t fully register the sound. His head, slammed against the entrance glass, throbbed, and soon a tremendous pain washed over him. Hot liquid trickled down his forehead.

It took a long time for him to realize it was his own blood. After the impact, he lay on the floor, barely able to see Kim Shin’s shoes through his blurry vision. Despite just being shoes, they filled him with terror. He feared those feet might crush him.

Trembling with fear, he tightly shut his eyes. Damn, he found out everything. He knows I let his stepmom in. How much does he know? The shock from the head injury crushed his courage, leaving him unable to voice his rising questions.

Please, just leave. Hours felt like they passed as he shivered in silence, unable to even groan. Just before the feet stepped outside, a phone rang. Even in his dazed state, Kangho recognized his familiar ringtone. In that moment, he remembered who he had been talking to earlier.

Oh no! Joohwan mustn’t call… He can’t know… The steps heading out stopped and turned back. Kangho, struggling, reached for his phone nearby, but a strong force easily snatched it away.

Kangho looked up with difficulty. After a long moment, he saw the hand holding the phone and Kim Shin’s face looking down at it. Kim Shin glanced at the name on the phone screen and then back at Kangho.

“Ah, you two.”

He muttered softly, but the words suffocated Kangho with fear.

12:48 PM. Kim Shin returned home, but once again, there were no shoes at the entrance. This time, he didn’t storm inside. He paused to calm his rage while staring at the floor. However, with Yeonwoo gone again, the anger couldn’t dissipate.

There had been too many interruptions. They had barely made any progress. Kim Shin slowly entered and headed to his room. The blanket, stained with bodily fluids, was neatly folded on the floor, with a note on top.

‘I’ll go home first. Your phone was off.’

Though brief, the note’s shaky handwriting showed hesitance. He had turned off his phone to avoid further interruptions, but it hadn’t worked. Yeonwoo had likely decided to leave after hearing his stepmother’s voice, thinking it best to avoid trouble.

“Fuck.”

Kim Shin sighed, running a rough hand through his hair. His anger remained unabated. His desire for Yeonwoo only amplified the fury. Yet, his strongest urge was to chase after Yeonwoo and bring him back immediately.

He wanted to lock Yeonwoo in this house and indulge in him for days, weeks, making love to his body. Just touching him had been so sweet, sending waves of pleasure throughout his body. He longed to touch him again, to kiss him, to pull him close and press their bodies together.

The way Yeonwoo’s body squirmed in embarrassment, his face turning away unable to meet his gaze, his reddened ears and nape, and his uncontrollable breaths of excitement.

‘Haa, haa, haa…’

Yeonwoo’s hot breaths and his voice, claiming it was his first time, echoed in Kim Shin’s ears. First time. Everything about his body, every corner was Kim Shin’s first. Yeonwoo wouldn’t understand the immense satisfaction of conquest those words brought. Kim Shin clenched his fist tightly to halt his thoughts. If he let them go further, he might truly become a beast and abduct Yeonwoo to rape him. Containing this urge was the hardest part.

“Don’t live like your mother.”

This lifelong warning from his father, repeated until it was ingrained in his mind, finally worked as a brake this time. Yeonwoo… he didn’t want to reveal the monster inside him to Yeonwoo. Yeonwoo was too precious, so he was careful with even the smallest things. He wanted him so badly.

He wanted Yeonwoo to think only of him, to look only at him. He wanted Yeonwoo to be so desperate to see him that it hurt. This desire finally brought down his boiling anger. A laugh of disbelief escaped him, but memories and annoyance of the interruptions still lingered inside. He turned on his phone. Pressing the call button, he heard the connecting tone, then Director Hong’s voice.

[Mr. Kim, I was just trying to call you, but your phone was off. I think we need to discuss that issue again this morning…]

“Is there a problem involving my stepmother’s family company?”

[What? Oh, well…]

“Is there or not?”

[There is. But we’ve tried to be as accommodating as possible…]

“Don’t accommodate them anymore.”

What? The surprised question came, but Kim Shin, packing his swimming bag, declared firmly.

“Crush them completely.”

It had been a long weekend. It felt even longer because he missed Yeonwoo. Late at night, long after the moon had risen, he finally contacted Yeonwoo. The reply came immediately.

– Are you okay? I was worried because I didn’t hear from you.

Yeonwoo had sent several texts, but Kim Shin deliberately didn’t respond. He wanted to give him time to process the morning’s intimacy, but he mostly anticipated this response. Worried. It was a pleasant word. Having someone who cared about him felt like warm paint spreading in his chest. Kim Shin rubbed his finger over Yeonwoo’s message as if to caress it.

– Is the problem resolved?

The hesitant question came with a pause. Yeonwoo must be asking about his stepmother’s issue. Although he could easily reassure him, Kim Shin chose a different answer, wanting Yeonwoo to worry more.

– No.

– Don’t stress too much. If you’re frustrated, talk to me.

– Can I?

– Of course!!!!

Seeing the multiple exclamation points made Kim Shin imagine Yeonwoo’s voice, and he chuckled softly. Cute. He rubbed his thumb over the letters Yeonwoo had sent again. He wanted to call him, to hear his voice directly, to see his face right away.

But he carefully suppressed his rising anxiety. After the sudden encounter today, Yeonwoo needed time to process it alone. And he hoped Yeonwoo would yearn for him during that time. Kim Shin, returning to a calm demeanor, sent a reply.

– Thanks. Get some sleep.

– Okay. Are you tired? Get some rest. I’m about to go to bed too.

– Sleep well. 

He closed the message window with a short farewell. Despite initiating the goodbye, he bowed his head in regret.

“Hah, this is driving me crazy.”

Only after calming down did he lift his head. He stared ahead for a long time. In the dark night, at a lit window of a villa. Kim Shin leaned on the steering wheel, looking at the lit window and murmured coolly.

“He said he was going to sleep.”

In the Alley

here was no reason to rush home. Yet, I found myself running all the way there, and only after closing the door did I feel a wave of relief wash over me, draining my strength. But in the quiet house, the sound of my pounding heart echoed even louder.

I seemed to stand against the cold gate for a long time. It wasn’t until I was back in my familiar place that I returned to reality. And the memories I had suppressed, trying not to think about them outside, sprang up in my mind like a compressed spring.

The cold marble floor, the cool indoor air from the air conditioner, and the scent of Shin’s cologne that I could smell anywhere in this house, as spacious as a sports field. Even though I had come home, it felt like my soul was left behind at Shin’s place; it still felt like Shin’s house.

Everything still felt like it was happening now, in this moment. The large bed that swayed when I lay down. The rustling blanket on the bed whenever I moved. Shin’s whispers, clear as if I had earphones in.

“I’ll just kiss you.” 

“…Oh.”

I collapsed onto the floor with a sound. What was happening? Things I could never have imagined that morning had happened within just a few hours. I kissed Shin. His breath felt so close. His breaths sounded louder than my own, and his tongue entering my mouth was so hot.

Even though our lips were drenched with each other’s saliva, it didn’t feel dirty at all. In fact, the wetness, the moisture between our lips, made it even more exciting. It wasn’t just the kissing. On Shin’s bed, we held each other, rubbing… Just thinking about it made my face burn. What was wrong with me? Hadn’t we done all sorts of naughty things?

“Wow, what do I do?” 

I mumbled, lowering my head, feeling like I was going to explode. Every moment was embarrassing, but the most shameful was what Shin had said.

“Hyung, why do you feel it so much?”

Was I crazy? Why did I feel it so intensely? Huh? I must have been strange enough for Shin to ask that. I even let out weird moans. Ah… so embarrassing. I tore at my hair. After a long while, a question popped up. Why was Shin so good at it? He was really good at kissing, and at the entrance… putting it between my thighs…

“Ah!” 

I was going to go crazy. I kept thinking about the naughty things with Shin. If the doorbell hadn’t rung then, we would have gone all the way. Now that I thought about it, the visitor was a bit strange. I stared into space seriously, recalling that moment. I didn’t hear much else clearly, but I distinctly heard her shouting.

“Why can’t I come in? I’m your mother! Do you think I want to come to this grand house that even family isn’t allowed into?!”

Why was her tone like that if she was Shin’s mother? It sounded harsher and more heartless than when speaking to a stranger. Even though she was his mother, Shin wouldn’t let her in and went out to meet her instead. At first, I felt sorry thinking it was because I was at his house, but it seemed like Shin found his mother to be just a nuisance.

Even without asking, it was clear there was a serious problem, so I left Shin’s house… but was Shin okay? I took out my phone, but there was no message from him. There shouldn’t be a major problem, right? I wasn’t usually interested in other people’s personal lives, but I was curious and wanted to know about Shin. But no matter how close we were, I couldn’t ask about family matters. …What was I saying now? Close?