PIA 63

“It’ll be okay, it has to be okay.”

If the main couple smoothly ended up together without obstacles, wouldn’t Ji-an naturally become unnecessary to the plot progression? Then he could safely protect the baby.

That’s what Ji-an wanted from the beginning. The reason he created today’s event was to solidify the affection of the main couple and cut off Jeong Han-joo’s attention from him. That was it…

“Hey… if you’re watching, come out.”

Ji-an entered JM’s building and headed for the emergency exit stairs instead of the elevator. In a quiet, cool place, he slowly walked up the stairs and called out to the voice.

“Are you busy?”

“Talk to me.”

“…You know there’s no one else I can talk to.”

“Hey…”

Even after climbing more than ten floors, there was no response. No matter how much he called, it seemed the voice would only come out if Ji-an was in real trouble.

“…”

The soft sigh grew longer into a deep groan. Ji-an was out of breath because he was running up the stairs. Ji-an, who was walking leaning on the railing as his breathing became increasingly difficult, was able to vaguely guess what was causing his anxiety.

Seo Ji-hyuk’s expression lingered in his mind. It wasn’t the face of someone genuinely happy or planning a future with their loved one.

“What could it be…”

Why did he have that expression?

“Why…”

Once acknowledging the unease, his heart began pounding rapidly. His fingertips grew cold and his breathing became erratic.

Huff… huff…

Ji-an didn’t even realize he had sunk down to the floor. He was kneeling, leaning against the stairs. Beads of sweat dripped from the back of his hand onto the cold stone floor.

Ji-an tried to gather strength in his legs to push himself up from the stairs. He stiffly extended his limbs, straining his joints, but his collapsed body felt like it weighed a thousand pounds, and he was unable to stand. His ragged breathing reached a peak, his throat constricting as if he might pass out any moment. 

“Seo Ji-an?”

Jeong Hee-seo’s voice was heard from above the top of his head. Before feeling relieved, Ji-an wanted to ask how he always knew to appear in such situations. Ji-an was about to say something crazy, wondering if he was seeing a ghost, but his body was lifted up like a paper doll.

Jeong Hee-seo seemed to have run to him, panting heavily. His elevated body heat radiated through the thin shirt. Clinging desperately, Ji-an gasped in ragged, urgent breaths.

Jeong Hee-seo cradled Ji-an close to his chest as he sat on the stairs. He didn’t care about wrinkling his perfectly pressed pants or sitting on the dirty floor; he only cared about holding Ji-an close.

“Ji-an, slowly…breathe slowly.”

His large hand cupped Ji-an’s cheek. Fingers grazed the nape dampened with cold sweat, accompanied by a soft tongue click.

“Huff…huff…ugh…”

“Calm down and take long, deep breaths. Exhale slowly…”

As Jeong Hee-seo pressed firmly on Ji-an’s chest, it became easier for Ji-an to control his breathing. Jeong Hee-seo looked directly into Ji-an’s eyes, counting and soothing him to breathe slowly.

Ji-an was panting for a long time while being held in Jeong Hee-seo’s arms on the dark emergency exit stairs. Just as Ji-an began to calm down, Jeong Hee-seo released a calming pheromone. Ji-an, completely unguarded, buried his face in Jeong Hee-seo’s chest, slowly inhaling and exhaling.

After about ten minutes, the color returned to Ji-an’s pale face, and his fingertips began to warm. Ji-an wriggled and moistened his dry lips. He didn’t hate it when Jeong Hee-seo hugged him tightly as if to keep him at a safe distance. No, in fact, he liked it.

“Did you run all the way to the top floor?”

“What if I did?”

“…Don’t lie.”

As soon as Ji-an calmed down, the silly remark was all he could muster in the awkward atmosphere, seeming nonsensical even to himself.

“…”

“…”

In his heart, Ji-an wanted to jump up and shout that he was fine, then walk away on his own two feet. But his body wouldn’t obey. He tried to gather his limbs as neatly as possible. When he brought his arms up to his chest. As he did, Jeong Hee-seo reached for the tightly fastened buttons on his shirt.

Tug, he grabbed them. Tug, he tugged them loose. When he went to grab them again, their eyes met.

“Do you think I’m the kind of person who would do anything here?”

“…”

He did it in the elevator. Ji-an spoke with his eyes, causing Jeong Hee-seo’s gaze to return to the firmly buttoned shirt.

“You can’t even breathe properly.”

“I’ll take it off – no, I’ll undo it myself.”

Ji-an tried to insist, but his fingers lacked strength, so he had to relent. He could feel every movement as Jeong Hee-seo’s hand unbuttoned his shirt.

Clearing his throat, Ji-an tried to hide the sound of his dry swallowing.

“When did this start?”

Jeong Hee-seo asked, observing Ji-an’s complexion.

To answer, Ji-an had to go back a long time. The first time was when Ji-an was in middle school, and at that time he didn’t even know he was having panic attacks. It got worse right after he became an adult, and it gradually got better with treatment. More than anything, after crossing over to this world, he never expected such episodes in a body that wasn’t originally his. He had let his guard down somewhat.

“Just…since I was little.”

“…”

“I thought everything was better, but you don’t have to worry.”

Ji-an lowered his gaze. Perhaps it was because Jeong Hee-seo wasn’t pressuring him with questions, or maybe it was the pheromones… or the comforting pressure of being held tight, but he calmed down faster than expected.

Jeong Hee-seo didn’t press any further. He simply raised his hand to brush back Ji-an’s sweat-drenched bangs. As Ji-an’s smooth forehead was revealed, Jeong Hee-seo playfully flicked it with his finger.

“Ouch.”

“What would have happened if I hadn’t seen you?”

Ji-an rubbed his forehead, which didn’t really hurt.

“I know, right. How did you find me?”

“Just a coincidence.”

“For a coincidence, it seemed like you ran up here.”

Jeong Hee-seo raised his eyebrows, pulling Ji-an closer as he chuckled because he found the situation absurd.

“… At times like this, it really feels like a drama.”

“Drama?”

“Yes. We meet according to a set script. As the writer writes, and the director directs.”

Devices for the plot. Two people meeting without reason.

“It seems like a coincidence, but actually, it’s all part of someone’s plan.”

Well. Jeong Hee-seo muttered dismissively before swiftly standing with Ji-an in his arms.

“Hyung-nim!”

Ji-an was startled by the sudden increase in height and grabbed his neck.

“Please put me down.”

“Can you walk?”

Jeong Hee-seo took a step forward without hearing the answer. Even though Ji-an was smaller than him, he was still a grown man, but Jeong Hee-seo effortlessly carried him, as if holding a mere cushion. Ji-an was shocked to see that his expression had not changed at all.

Yet he couldn’t jokingly say he could walk. Not an ounce of strength remained in his limbs.

“Are you planning to take the stairs like this?”

He asked, wondering if the elevator may be better, given they were still in the office building.

“Yeah.”

A simple answer came back.

Ji-an let out an exasperated laugh. How could he walk all the way to the office? When he remarked, Jeong Hee-seo looked down at him with a challenging expression.

“Want to bet?”

“No?”

Ji-an waved his hand dismissively with a snort.

“If we make a bet, you’ll just follow through, hyung. I’d obviously lose.”

Jeong Hee-seo wondered if Ji-an had calmed down as he was now playfully kicking his legs while in his arms. For a moment, he considered pushing Ji-an against the wall and kissing him. Just moments ago, Ji-an’s pale face and breathlessness had made Jeong Hee-seo’s heart drop, but now he was laughing… He was like a roller coaster, taking Jeong Hee-seo on a wild ride.

“Seo Ji-an.”

“Yes?”

“It’s not a drama.”

As he lifted the body that had slipped down due to gravity, Jeong Hee-seo’s scent suddenly invaded Ji-an’s nose. Jeong Hee-seo whispered as he looked into Ji-an’s eyes.

“That’s what they call fate.”

“…”

Ji-an was speechless. To say something so cheesy without changing his expression—it wasn’t fair. Ji-an’s face burned with embarrassment.

…What a sinful man. Ji-an, feeling flustered, exhaled deeply.

As Ji-an fidgeted uncomfortably, Jeong Hee-seo readjusted his hold again.

“Just close your eyes.”

Jeong Hee-seo’s voice laced with laughter poured down from the top of Ji-an’s head.

“What are you going to do if I close my eyes?”

“Stop fussing.”

Before meeting his furrowed brow head-on, Ji-an quickly shut his eyes.

“Just go to sleep.”

It was clear that Ji-an’s body was completely exhausted. Ji-an closed his eyes and tried hard to hide the expression on his face. He could clearly feel Jeong Hee-seo take a deep breath and exhale a sigh.

“Hyung-nim, you know you have quite the mischievous side?”

“…”

“You shouldn’t say things like that… bad things could happen, you know…”

The steady rhythm of ascending the stairs relaxed Ji-an completely. As his mind drifted into a haze, Hee-seo silently laughed without responding. Ji-an could feel Hee-seo’s gaze on his closed eyes, almost tangible in its intensity.

Ji-an felt like something would happen if he opened his eyes right now. Ji-an closed his eyelids tightly and snuggled into his arms, eventually surrendering to the overwhelming drowsiness.